self help pls

[Anonymous No.19804518]

Now that I'm in my 20s I'm trying to give myself the best chance. Any other authors like Nathaniel Branden?

[Anonymous No.19804583]

>>19804518
Read psychocybernetics

[Anonymous No.19804593]

>>19804518
Self help kino - internal

[Anonymous No.19804608]

>>19804593
Self help kino - external

[Anonymous No.19804674]

>>19804608
You gotta have a chad face to sell books about money. Kek

[Anonymous No.19805030]

As a man thinketh, man’s search for meaning, power of now, when things fall apart.

Create a shelf with these and all the titles mentioned in the thread on goodreads and use their algorithm to find more. Avoid anything trying to sell you anything. Good luck.

[Anonymous No.19805094]

>>19804518
Can someone explain what self-esteem actually is?
A friend once asked me something that I think about a lot, but maybe it's wrong to conflate self-esteem or self-worth
>If you are certain you deserve better but are equally certain that nothing you can do will get what you deserve, is that low self-worth or do you have high self-worth?
Like does self-esteem come from how much we think we 'deserve' or does it come from our confidence in our ability and agency? And if they are in opposition, what does that mean?

[Anonymous No.19805247]

>>19805094
I'm not sure self-esteem is meant to be associated with external results. Like, I'm good so I deserve good things. I think it's more about having a nonfragile ego such that even if bad things happen to you or you don't get things you want, you don't regard this as some external reflection of internal inferiority. I might be wrong though. Afaik self-esteem was a bit of a fad meme that came and went.

[Anonymous No.19805250]

>>19805094
>what self-esteem actually is?
getting pussy. fucking lots of hot staceys with big tits and mogging manlets. making lots of fuck you money and having a big house

[Anonymous No.19805254]

Go to the gym and have sex. That's improvement.

[Anonymous No.19805475]

>>19805247
But there is surely some point where minimization of the value of one's immediate influence on their external reality is not the sign of a healthy non-fragile ego and goes into "cope" territory? Making excuses.
Or does that just make me a 'hylic', kek
If I'm honest with you I'm inclined to agree it's just a meme - you can't point to any one thing and say "this is your self-esteem" it's a catchall word that in it's vagueness and obscurity can conceal a multitude of sins.

[Anonymous No.19805486]

Genuine self esteem is only had by honoring your conscience and doing the right thing. The entire PUA, manosphere, self help scene is a lie

[Anonymous No.19805518]

>>19805486
>Genuine self esteem
What is 'genuine self esteem'? What is another term for it?

[Anonymous No.19806335]

>>19805518
bumping for answers

[Anonymous No.19806394]

>>19805518
acknowledging your own principles and sticking by them

[Anonymous No.19806439]

>>19806394
what about in the context of >>19805094 this question: where you have your own principles, but for external reasons are unable to stick to them.
Is genuine effort enough? Or must you also achieve it and influence your immediate external circumstances?

[Anonymous No.19807065]

>>19805518
>>19805094
Read Nathaniel Branden's Psychology of Self-Esteem back in my college days. To briefly summarize, self-esteem pertains to your belief in accomplishing a potential; which is different from confidence, which is trusts in your actualized potential.

Example:

If you know how to code, and you've been tasked by your boss to do it then you'll probably be confident in the project.

If you don't know how to code, but trusts yourself that you can learn it given enough time and practice, then you have self-esteem.

[Anonymous No.19807181]

>>19807065
>If you don't know how to code, but trusts yourself that you can learn it given enough time and practice, then you have self-esteem.
I see. And what if your trust in yourself is unwarranted, is that still self-esteem? What's the point that self-esteem because delusion? Because surely capacity is always constricted by environment?
You might be sure you can proceed to the Olympic Finals, but there's no way you'll win the Gold this time.

[Anonymous No.19807310]

>>19804518
I read a number of self-help and psychology books, including this one, and in my experience they mostly resell well established therapy methods like CBT. You're better off just downloading a CBT workbook, and doing the exercises.

[Anonymous No.19807424]

>>19807310
>CBT
What's that?

[Anonymous No.19807428]

found this article on the self esteem movement and Branden, pretty interesting
https://medium.com/matter/the-man-who-destroyed-americas-ego-94d214257b5

[Anonymous No.19807432]

>>19807424
cock and ball torture

[Anonymous No.19807436]

>>19807424
cognitive behavioural therapy

[Anonymous No.19807438]

>>19807424

[Anonymous No.19807457]

>>19804518
Learned Optimism - Martin Seligman
>inb4 Jew
Please, just read the book. It will exorcise the pessimism from you.

[Anonymous No.19808853]

>>19805094
Its arrogance but because the world has treated you nicely it means you're not arrogant, you are a good person with high self esteem