Write What's on Your Mind

[Anonymous No.19773555]

WWOYM

Old >>19767295

https://youtu.be/-fvE0kzxIUQ

[Anonymous No.19773573]

Had enough of reading. Need pussy now.

[Anonymous No.19773580]

>>19773573
go to a brothel

[Anonymous No.19773581]

a guy is coming over to upgrade my internet tomorrow. it's from the landlord. it's probably a good thing but I'm not sure how seriously I should take the shame of the state of dereliction of my apartment. I should do the dishes, they smell, that's a given. beyond that I'm not sure, and I really don't want to.

[Anonymous No.19773586]

baka desu senpai

[Anonymous No.19773593]

>>19773580
Actually considering that, it should be less dehumanizing than dealing with regular women nowadays.

[Anonymous No.19773594]

I had a date today for the first time in my life (and probably the last). Basically it was as big a disaster as you could imagine. The girl was cute and very intelligent, she enjoyed talking about the Ancient world and the Latin language and science and literature. But because I am an autist and can’t talk to anybody in real life the conversation died and it was completely silent for the whole time that we walked to the cafe. When we got there she was visibly uncomfortable so I just paid for her drink and left.
It’s so easy when you live alone and have no friends to form some ideas of yourself as being cool and intelligent and manly. But the moment you actually go out into the world you realise how inferior you are. I’m honestly considering suicide at this point because my anxiety issues will never go away and I’ll always be fucking alone.

[Anonymous No.19773596]

I am doing the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life by finishing this god damned mother fucking dissertation. Long-form creative projects are the biggest test of self-determination possible. I am not letting myself take the outs that I normally take. I am doing the real thing for the first time. Time to stop relying on admiration of my potential. Long overdue.

[Anonymous No.19773602]

>>19773581
You sound like my roommates. Late 20s, incapable of cleaning up after themselves. Dishes are the most annoying part considering we have a fucking dishwasher. Fuck you dude; grow up

[Anonymous No.19773604]

>>19773573
Need some dick...

[Anonymous No.19773613]

>>19773593
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5fqi5mEIzE

[Anonymous No.19773614]

>>19773581
Take it seriously and clean your room. You'll feel better for doing it.

[Anonymous No.19773623]

>>19773594
>The girl was cute and very intelligent, she enjoyed talking about the Ancient world and the Latin language and science and literature
where do you find girls like this jesus christ? fuck you dude

[Anonymous No.19773630]

>>19773594
You really want to give up after your first try? Live and learn man, putting on the charm is a skill that you need to practice, just like anything else. And as it's been said a million times before: Dating is a numbers game. Gotta keep trying, and it'll get easier.

[Anonymous No.19773633]

It's frightening to notice how, upon waking up, even if you've had the most vivid and of dreams and how much thought you've given it since you opened your eyes, everything gets wiped out of your brain after at least one minute of uninterrupted scrolling on your phone's screen. it's all gone in a flash, and you're only left with the sensation of something missing; something that you can't recuperate. that's deeply fucked up.
maybe i should just sell my ''smartphone'' and use a good old motorola razr flip phone instead.

[Anonymous No.19773646]

>>19773594
Next time imagine you're ryan gosling in drive
You have to convince yourself that your autistic silence is actually brooding and mysterious and cool
Do not permit yourself any amount of self awareness
Don't consider for even a second that you might not be cool and desirable. You have to take for granted that you're attractive
Treat real life like you're acting out a part
It doesn't even have to be ryan gosling specifically, just pick an actor that plays cool quiet guys
I've been doing this for years and it works shockingly well

[Anonymous No.19773662]

>>19773630
It’s not like that. For my entire life I’ve never been able to form connections with anybody because when I talk to someone in real life I become anxious to the point of stupefaction. This is a physiological and mental reaction that I cannot control — for example when I was walking with her I scratched my own thumb to the point it started bleeding, and didn’t realise until I looked at my thumb. Because of this I have never had friends or a gf and, after this incident, I know I never will.
>>19773623
My university. She was literally perfect and I blew it.

[Anonymous No.19773677]

>>19773662
you also seem to just give up. If she was uncomfortable and wanted to leave, she could have. Instead you paid and left because you thought she was uncomfortable. Sounds like you are very self-defeating when you become "stupefied". What happens if you just let yourself
communicate your feelings and breathe through feeling uncomfortable?

[Anonymous No.19773689]

>>19773555
For some reason I've started dreaming that I'm explaining things to people? It started a couple months ago and hasn't stopped. It just sort of gets slipped in with the rest of my dream. Last night I explained what persistence hunting is

[Anonymous No.19773701]

>>19773594
>It’s so easy when you live alone and have no friends to form some ideas of yourself as being cool and intelligent and manly
Live and learn bucko.

[Anonymous No.19773703]

>>19773689
Who do you explain these things to? Friends? Family? Strangers?

[Anonymous No.19773707]

>>19773703
just anyone. sometimes it's people I know, sometimes it's strangers.

[Anonymous No.19773710]

>>19773677
She was being polite it was painfully obvious. We were sat there in silence in an empty cafe and she was fidgeting, looking around everywhere. I felt bad for her. Then I said I’ll go and she shook her head as if to say yes please do so I left.

Idk what would happen if I tried to breathe. Everything just happens so fast I don’t feel like I am in control of myself; I’m more like a passive observer of what’s going on in my body.

[Anonymous No.19773713]

>>19773633
write down your dreams immediately upon waking, don't have your phone next to your bed. My memory recall is much stronger because of the practice

[Anonymous No.19773724]

>>19773710
>Then I said I’ll go and she shook her head as if to say yes please do
Yikes...

[Anonymous No.19773727]

>>19773593
Found the seething incel bitch

[Anonymous No.19773743]

>>19773623
it's not that strange you know. i live in bumfuck, nowhere in the third world, and i've still stumbled upon women of that sort. but they're just ''interests'' ; the degree of genuine dedication or care they might have for those topics obviously vary from one person to the next, but it's not necessarily a testament to them being brilliant or whatever. don't choose a woman due to some surface level overlap between your ''interests'', especially if it's something related to music taste for example. look beyond it and observe her enthusiasm, how she feels about her being somewhat different, how she treats other people, where she wants to go, and, this might sound strange, how human she really is. just read her, basically.
this online deification of women that show a passing difference from the mold is starting to get a bit ludicrous. we all like to joke about girls being shallow and yada yada, but you need to get your priorities straight and truly reconsider them.
mind you that undoubtedly brilliant women are rare, but feigning brilliance is incredibly easy to do nowadays if your observers aren't lucid enough. if you come across a genuine simone weil of today who isn't carrying herself in a perverted performative manner, then by all means hold onto her. be sure to examine your subject and not get too easily carried away.
i'm saying all of this because i did have a woman who was a part of that rare breed, and during my time with her i had this great sense of clarity in regards to other girls who were trying hard to give a sense of unique presence and climb up the ladder of ''''excellence'''', but they simply paled in comparison against a raw, strange character. i want to use the term pseud, but that's just an empty buzzword at this point.
anyway, be way anon.

[Anonymous No.19773747]

>>19773727

[Anonymous No.19773760]

I just finished Becker denial of death and the last messiah and I'm running into this problem. I feel like for a lot of these pessimistic theories I emotionally believe them despite the evidence seeming to be unclear. And again, as I reflect on these works, it seems to be one of those issues where

>Oh you believe me, that means I'm right
>Oh you don't believe me, that means you're coping and I'm also right.

It feels like it's almost religious at a certain point. Like no matter what objection I raise to it the person will respond that no matter what it means they're always right.

>Oh god made you suffer, that means he's real

>oh god didn't make you suffer, that also means he's real.

I also read that Becker had kids despite writing denial of death before having written his book before having them. I wonder why he would do that?

To expand on this a bit, it feels like a lot of these theories are just phrasing things in their worst possible way, even when it doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous No.19773783]

>>19773747
The frog only confirms it.

[Anonymous No.19773788]

>>19773783

[Anonymous No.19773796]

>>19773788
This passes for humor with you.
Get yourself together man.

[Anonymous No.19773797]

>>19773710
>everything happens so fast
>feeling out of control
>dissassociating

Bro you are having panic attacks. I'm not telling you what to do, but it would likely help if you can recognize when those feelings start happening and tell whoever you're with that you are feeling stressed out and need to take a minute to relax. If you manage to take slow, deep breaths, your body will literally relax and things will slow down. This isn't "who you are" its something that happens to you and can be worked out. I believe in you bro, don't just give up.

[Anonymous No.19773801]

Can poetry be posted here?

[Anonymous No.19773807]

>>19773796

[Anonymous No.19773809]

>>19773801
The quality might bo up. Be careful

[Anonymous No.19773810]

I am horribly depressed. Please help me in any way you can.

[Anonymous No.19773827]

>>19773797
Thanks mate you’re making me tear up I hope i can fix it too

[Anonymous No.19773828]

>>19773633
Roerich based.
>silver age theosophist, worked with blavatsky
>member of based world of art st petersburg fag clique (includes vrubel, merejkovsky, diaghilev, bakst)
>worked on the restoration of the history of slavic paganism in pre-christian rus
>travelled to the himalayas where he studied eastern religions extensively
>really good at painting mountains
>made rite of spring

[Anonymous No.19773829]

>>19773809
OK, I just wanted to share something I wrote.

There's a tingle in my wrists,
It consists,
Of blood and loneliness,
It disgusts me,
Telling me to,
Raise my arm and disarm,
What's stopping self harm,
I see a knife and pause my life,
Call a midwife,
A new suicidal idle
Ideation is born,
don't try and stop these thoughts,
I lived enough,
In my mind seen more than one man ought,
So I'll let the knife in my head,
Take my life and stop my breath,
From my veins,
The blood will flow,
Everyday is touch and go,
I affirm that I will die,
That my hands will end my life,
Hard for me to end this rhyme,
But a simple task to end my time.

[Anonymous No.19773849]

>>19773555
i need to stop texting my friends when i'm drunk

[Anonymous No.19773852]

>>19773827
you can, go find a professional that can help you with this. You have all the classic symptoms of panic, and they can help you. You got this.

[Anonymous No.19773857]

>>19773760
you posted this in the previous thread and already received a lucid response

[Anonymous No.19773860]

>>19773810
give us more details anon. do you have a job you hate or are you unemployed. are you isolated or do you hate your friends. are you an internet addicted insomniac or a permanently fatigued narcoleptic. do you retain delusions of intellectual ability and depress yourself with failing to understand recondite foreign language novels or daily bemoan your dependence on infantile cartoons and other such low culture. your family - do they hate you, you them? pity you, or you them? are you fat, corpulent, disgusting, or is athleticism one of your few outlets, so you take out your rage at the world on weak white belts at your bjj school. everyone has a story, and want to hear yours

[Anonymous No.19773861]

>>19773810

[Anonymous No.19773867]

Why do single mothers give such a bad upbringing?

[Anonymous No.19773882]

>>19773867
because men need a father figure. it's not the single mothers fault all of the time, it's just that women don't tend to understand boys, or men for that matter, and they fuck them up without realizing it.

[Anonymous No.19773886]

>>19773867
Because of your confirmation bias.

[Anonymous No.19773895]

The Great Cataclysm approaches. Climate change, rising seas, wildfires. Pollution. Resource exhaustion. We were born into the End Times.

What is the solution? Cleaning up after ourselves I suppose. Our relationship with nature must change. We are the global apex predator, and thus rely on the ecosystems we exploit. We should manage them as such.

[Anonymous No.19773899]

>>19773895
Ok zoomer

[Anonymous No.19773901]

The constant beeping of tinnitus is another kind of silence.

[Anonymous No.19773903]

>>19773882
>Muh simplistic general category thinking in the postmodernist 21st century
>WoMeN DoNT UnDerStaNd Men
Update your software, whore.

[Anonymous No.19773911]

>>19773895
No one gives a fuck, I've read this exact fucking post like 50 times on this board, at least try to syntaxically stand out.

[Anonymous No.19773926]

Feeling empty-headed. I want to work on a creative or intellectual pursuit but all I see is void. I could trudge along and force myself, but if I am not smitten by curiosity and wonderment it's like I'm sleepwalking. Every thought falls out of my brain stillborn. The best writing I can do in such moments are blog posts like these in which I decry the wretchedness of my condition.

I could use a prompt, the flirtatious glint of a beautiful passerby to get me interested in people again, a momentous historical event, or a plethoric and staggering display of nature's majesty, or a groundbreaking new scientific discovery. Hell, even meth pipe to smoke. Anything to stir me from this torporific languor.

Weed might do me. I used to smoke metric tons but quit years ago. It certainly does stimulate my brain in modest amounts, but my thinking is always tinged with reeling paranoia. It may revive some interest in the world, but that interest is one of anxious desperation. As if unseen, malicious but fascinating shadowy forces move against me.

[Anonymous No.19773933]

>>19773903
>random capital letters

[Anonymous No.19773937]

>>19773926
How much sex are you having?

[Anonymous No.19773949]

>>19773926
watch ryan trecartin movies and video mixtapes. embrace form and process, because those are the essence of art.

[Anonymous No.19773956]

>>19773860
>i have friends and love them
>i have no job and when i try to work hard to get one it never seems to go anywhere. interviews are just soul draining
>ive become an internet addicted insomniac
>i am the black sheep in my family. my parents think they love me but i know they dont. i appreciate everything they have given me but we have different values and i simply cant get along with them
>i am not fat, ugly or disgusting. i am not especially socially awkward either. i have many friends and am considered a pretty easy going person
>i am not athletic
i have a job interview in 30mins but i can elaborate more after. but essentially my problems in life are motivation. all i want right now is a job and to be moved out and living alone. i feel so hopeless.

[Anonymous No.19773959]

>>19773886
shut the fuck up cunt

[Anonymous No.19773962]

>>19773555
While I knew the prospect of staying home for two more years to knock out the gen ed classes at a community college would be both good academically and for my wallet, I would be lying if I said I hate seeing how isolated it was. I know that you shouldn't have expected tons of people from your high school days to be at the same college as you -I'm not that much of an idealist- but seeing them seemingly happy with their newfound lives is a bit demoralizing when you don't have many people to talk with at home. Maybe I just need an ass-kicking to get over myself, who knows? I think posting on 4chan will surely help my woes

[Anonymous No.19773971]

>>19773860
>do you retain delusions of intellectual ability and depress yourself with failing to understand recondite foreign language novels or daily bemoan your dependence on infantile cartoons and other such low culture
literally me

[Anonymous No.19774014]

>>19773959
Don’t care, didn’t ask plus you’re male.

[Anonymous No.19774020]

I wish I didn't waste my youth, I feel like I got into a trap I'll never manage to leave

[Anonymous No.19774023]

>>19774020
how old are you?

[Anonymous No.19774033]

>>19773971
it's /lit/ summarized in a single phrase

[Anonymous No.19774053]

>>19773827
My first date was very awkward as well mate

[Anonymous No.19774094]

>>19773573
I now am obsessed with fucking butters (you now the trip gag)

[Anonymous No.19774109]

>>19774023
24

[Anonymous No.19774122]

>>19773937
A decent amount. I got a couple nice lays lined up, although they're out of town at the moment. A couple others fell through. Sex in general bores me at the moment. It just feels mechanical and vacuous.

>>19773949
Thanks for the tip.

[Anonymous No.19774128]

>>19774109
24 is still young. wait till you get to your late 30s at least before you start lamenting lost youth

[Anonymous No.19774142]

>>19773827
I had a first date recently and blew it too. It's alright man. I think there's no logic to dating and you can't beat yourself up over what you think you did wrong: keep trying and being yourself and something will click.

[Anonymous No.19774166]

>>19773956
>it was another nervous phone interview
the worst. why couldn't they just do a 15min google meets

[Anonymous No.19774183]

falling in love with girl i met on new years and have heartaches all the time when I'm not talking to or being with her. we talk everyday and recently had some minor issues. I feel like shit when she doesn't respond to my texts and am the happiest when she does. when we call each other I feel like the stereotype of a little girl calling her crush. Sometimes I feel like I catch feelings too fast.

[Anonymous No.19774186]

Do you guys use any other sites to discuss literature? Sometimes I need a change from /lit/.

[Anonymous No.19774195]

>>19774186
I’ve only used /lit/, libgen, gmail and xvideos for like 3 years now

[Anonymous No.19774201]

>>19774195
I miss the time before, when the internet wasn't just 10 big sites.

[Anonymous No.19774217]

I am living the belly of gigantic monster and I can’t ever escape.

[Anonymous No.19774239]

>>19774186
seconding this question. there must be some sort of active forum or something that revolves around literature, right? RIGHT? i mean, isn't the internet supposed to be gigantic?

[Anonymous No.19774247]

>>19773581
wash your penis

[Anonymous No.19774252]

>>19774128
Lol yeah lamenting being old at 24 is honestly pathetic. What the fuck is wrong with people? You hear it a lot. The fetishization of youth is understandable but still strange and ultimately futile. The cherry blossom is fleeting.

[Anonymous No.19774264]

>>19774239
I've found old forums but they are nearly completely abandoned.

[Anonymous No.19774270]

>>19774252
>yeah bro why do you regret making nothing of the years where you were at your healthiest, your neuroplasticity at its most expansive, your ability to take risks at its highest...etc
i agree that dwelling on the past is very unhealthy, but let's not pretend that wasting days is an impossible concept

[Anonymous No.19774289]

>>19773594
you need exposure to build tolerance, its that simple, do it over and over until it doesnt hurt is the only way. Anxiety is you masturbating your fears into a frenzy over minor inputs. Nobody actually gives a shit, they are wrapped up inside their own problems.

It takes consistent, difficult effort to build something real and whatever you get out of life is down to you.

Your ancestors crawled through 40,000 freezing winters of filth and gore to produce you, so that you could do what exactly?

[Anonymous No.19774318]

>>19773710
>I’m more like a passive observer of what’s going on in my body.

Do you feel 'hollow' like you put on a face for people and mimic them to be accepted?

Do you find yourself 'splitting' people, that is idealizing them, then devaluing them over something minor?

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/borderline-test

There are a lot of affordable options for professional help with this in every part of the world.

[Anonymous No.19774345]

>>19774318
I don’t know about BPD but I’ve definitely got some sort of stupid social anxiety.
I’ve never believed in psychology but idk what else can help me.

[Anonymous No.19774355]

>>19774252
No one denies that not wasting days is important, but it's cringe when you hear people in their early 20s complaining about being too old to do shit

[Anonymous No.19774422]

sold a single ebook for $1 to somebody in India and for some reason I got $25 in royalties so now I am writing exclusively Brahma-futurist cow harem smut.

[Anonymous No.19774468]

>>19774247
literally just did lmao
about to hit the dishes

[Anonymous No.19774479]

>>19774239
I once saw a picture of two maps, like the one in the picture related, but one was of 2007 and the other one was from 2015 or 2016. The map of 2007 was very even, the most visited sites didn't concentrate all of the traffic and the traffic was very diverse, while the latest one was just like this picture, google, youtube and social media taking all of the internet visits while the rest of the internet was dead.
I can't find that picture anymore, unfortunately.

>>19774264
The near death of the forum format is sad. They used to be great to post about hobbies and interests and each one seemed like a thing of its own, with its own people and culture. Nowadays they became reddit subs, discord channels and maybe facebook groups.
What did kill them? People just migrated to other sites due to laziness of maintaining a website? Or was it the costs getting higher with more people visiting?

[Anonymous No.19774513]

>>19774479
>what killed them
a less adventurous new generation + despotic moderation + intense social engineering

[Anonymous No.19774638]

>>19774195
>gmail
at least have some dignity and use cock.li

[Anonymous No.19774687]

"Is life a loop? Is the ultimate truth to just be in the moment and await every new reincarnation in glee and not terror?

The permanent void postmortem cannot possibly be real. We awake as a new being a microsecond after our passing. Eternal recurrence must be it. But I'm upset that there is no true long-term, we're dust in comparison to everything. Can we escape? I want to be me, I want to retain my memory. I do not want to become an extraterrestrial after my time is up and continue to partake in this cycle of nonsense. We're meant to transcend all, become great systematic architects of existence, not live as simple animals and die on an impromptu moment ad infinitum.

Why does it have to be so tiring? Tell me how to continue."

Help me out, guys. It's been quite stressful. I'm relatively comfortable materialistically, not rich or anything, but my head does not give me a break.

[Anonymous No.19774703]

I'm scared I will never find a good girl, I don't know where they're at. All I can find is whores that get me off. It's meaningless, I even got scared that I gotten an std (false alarm)
I met a cute smart girl online with based music taste. I messaged her as a joke but we actually had a good chemistry. I found that absolutely intimidating to me. The internet seems to be a shitty way to meet women in the first place for the most part. Thinking about going to this club this weekend. It's an hour away since I'm from a rural area. I have never been clubbing and I'm not a good dancer. I dont know how to go about it

[Anonymous No.19774722]

>>19774703
you're not going to find any good girls in the club

[Anonymous No.19774748]

>>19774722
I live in a small town I dont have many options

[Anonymous No.19774798]

I'm waiting for the apocalypse.

[Anonymous No.19775009]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhqB_wjOI5M
is this the ultimate example of impenetrable rhetoric? does this personify the right way of handling dissenting opinions?

[Anonymous No.19775041]

>>19774183
update: i sent her a video of me cumming and im feeling better :)

[Anonymous No.19775060]

>>19774183
Faget, you will regret being a simp. You are either progressing to intimacy with a woman or platonic with a woman, there is no valid limbo state.

>>19775041
Based

[Anonymous No.19775072]

[Anonymous No.19775089]

>>19773594
got your hands onto a girl like that and went on a date and then you fucked it up

its an alley oop wtf

[Anonymous No.19775110]

>>19773555
the greatness of gorses

[Anonymous No.19775122]

>>19775110
horse

[Anonymous No.19775203]

>>19774748
Go to church you dipshit

[Anonymous No.19775204]

>>19773555
I invented my own personal God from the part of myself I want to gain control and now I simply invoke him and I am able to do whatever he tells me. I’ve solved procrastination and laziness and all inability to act and overcome all base desires through this method and I now act based on pure reason. The weird thing is that I am starting to believe he is really real and not just a section of myself I identified

[Anonymous No.19775210]

>>19774687
>We're meant to transcend all, become great systematic architects of existence
No we aren't. Also eternal recurrence is not reincarnation.

[Anonymous No.19775217]

I want to be excited about life again. Rekindle that electric excited sensation in my chest I felt when I was younger when I thought about life's possibilities and the world felt new and open. I don't know if I can still make that happen. I feel nothing anymore. Is this just something that happens with age? The drying up of life's possibilities? The cementing of static fate? Can the capacity to feel diminish, and if so, can it be revived?

The only emotions I respond to are the bleakest. Even when I feel nothing, that nothing has a quality all its own. It howls like ice wind.

Maybe love can jolt me back, but I don't see it on the horizon. Nothing seems possible.

[Anonymous No.19775265]

>>19774479
I have frequented many forums over the years and there are some I'm still active on. They suck. There are cool people everywhere, but old school forums breed/attract some of the worst narcissists imaginable. People who think they're kings of some little internet backwater because they know a bit more about aquariums (or whatever) than the next guy. For better or worse, everyone on reddit is essentially anonymous. There are just so many people, nobody can really exert too much influence. But every forum has at least one dickhead who thinks he's hot shit, and lots of people are willing to suck that guy off for a scrap of approval.

[Anonymous No.19775270]

>>19775204
Hm the more I think about this part of myself the mire mysterious it seems. I can’t explain why exactly it wants me to do the things it wants me to and yet it seems to know exactly what I need to do at all times. It seems to know what’s “best” even though I don’t even know what good is. And it never wants compromise or admits any of the lesser parts of myself into it, if I disobey it it preserves itself by just watching in the background always telling me no. Maybe the real God has been talking to me all this time and I just thought he was a part of myself. I just don’t know how it seems to know absolutely what I must do at all times even when I myself don’t know where I am going in the long run

[Anonymous No.19775272]

>>19775217
How old are you?

[Anonymous No.19775285]

>>19775270
You made a personal egregore and now it is wresting control from you. Good luck you stupid bitch

[Anonymous No.19775312]

>>19775203
I'm not Christian, ancient christianity was much born based and something I can get down with

[Anonymous No.19775316]

>>19775285
That was kind of the plan

[Anonymous No.19775478]

>beatniks would be considered conservative today

[Anonymous No.19775823]

>>19773555
man violence with violins is really cool like is psycho

[Anonymous No.19775859]

neuralink transmitting experience of listening to pop raggae while playing sports with a huge group of people in the backyard of a block located in a highly dense urban area full of graffiti while sunset in 2005 to a rich socially isolated person in the year 2051

[Anonymous No.19775864]

>>19774703
the only good girl you need is a therapist who will help you get over your mommy issues. jesus christ

[Anonymous No.19775879]

I'm 27 now and have come to realize that there is no such thing as adult behaviour, but that the term is used, as far as I can tell, to denote a certain kind of worldly craftiness most often encountered in busy bank buildings or property management facilities or family planning centers or suchlike buildings no child has ever any reason to come close to, and while I understand the importance of places like these and of the transactions associated therewith, I... I have forgotten my argument –

Look up Hayami Jun and Maruo Suehiro.

[Anonymous No.19775897]

>>19773633
>>19773713
could also record yourself if that's faster

[Anonymous No.19775900]

>open thread about author I've never read
>call him incredibly overrated and a pseud
>any attempt at refuting is simply coping and seething

just another day on /lit/

[Human No.19775910]

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[Anonymous No.19775982]

>>19775910
>baiting the mentally ill on here this hard

[Anonymous No.19776061]

>be me
>hanging out with this girl
>Went on multiple one-on-one date - bike ride, dinner, lunch, movies, etc.
>every night, i was just tormented - just thinking about her, shivering in loneliness
>both stem phd student. first women i met who is smarter than me
>still a normie. an atheist one, at that
>shes getting booost'd and shit
>One day, eventually asked her out.
>"im trying to figure out my sexuality"
>cool. now im over with her, so i thought. my heart was relieved
>later, hangout with her in group setting
>suddenly realize that i still love her. still obsessed with her. my heart still aches.
>has my prudish puritanical upbringing screwed me up? am i just irredeemable sperg? im very sociable, at least on outside....
>you were the first one i ever asked out..... and it ends like this
>now that she said she's figuring out her sexuality, now starting to imagine having threesome with her supposed dyke gf
>getting tired of saying same shit at confession
>pretty sure the priest is tired of my rant
>about to be 30 soon, and still KHHV
>slowly mentally rot
>only coping mechanism is "when i finish school, new city new me tee hee"

help

[Anonymous No.19776068]

>>19776061
Welcome the single abyss bud, but it seems like you were born in it. Careful not to go hollow…

[Anonymous No.19776084]

What I would give for the mods to moderate /sffg/

[Anonymous No.19776091]

>>19776061
you didnt try to non-verbally initiate anything u sperg? how do u go on multiple dates and not do this.

[Anonymous No.19776110]

>>19776091
i did, or so i thought. she's on spectrum too, i think. cant tell whether women on spectrum still has feminine instinct. probably does.

anyway, in the get-go she said shes "not interesting in dating rn", but she still initiated many one-on-one dates/hangouts/etc. so i thought maybe her mind has changed or something. apparently not.

[Anonymous No.19776127]

>>19776110
are you saying you attempted to caress/kiss her and she pulled away?

[Anonymous No.19776131]

>>19776127
that i did not do. :( never got physical. the ship has sailed i guess tho

[Almonde No.19776134]

Imagine the soul is real. (Hard problem of consciousness no more!)

A naturally free soul has an inherently continuous awareness (it never sleeps). Much like a photon or particle of light there is perpetual action or motion. However, the human soul is different, it is intended for a system in which the soul may power itself.
So the soul's infrastructure is engrained to fit a mental power conduit. The power conduit itself triggers the soul's functions. Call this mental field(power conduit) the Copula.

Now, the purpose of the brain is to empower the soul. The physical matter of the brain imbues the Copula with energy, which imbues the soul with energy. The soul through the medium of Copula acts upon the brain to move the body. The soul moves the body to survive so that the soul is responsible for empowering its own awareness.

To understand the interaction more fully, imagine the most simple set-up possible : A single neuron fires and changes the awareness from an inactive state to active state. The movement of physical matter influences the soul.

Obviously the True Set-Up is much more complex, and relies upon a nested hierarchy of On/Off switches to produce the wonder it does. This would amount to a pattern of neurons firing, enabling a specific mental function which the soul was in the process of choosing to do. This means that the human being has complete mental freedom and is in complete control of their mind.

[Anonymous No.19776143]

>>19776131
of course you were rejected. she at the very least excepts you to take the risk.

[Anonymous No.19776151]

>>19776143
well, i didnt expect "figuring out sexuality" as a response tho. whatever :(

[Anonymous No.19776152]

>>19775272
31. I don't feel old, but life has lost its luster.

[Anonymous No.19776159]

>>19776151
What a cowardly faggot you are.

[Anonymous No.19776169]

>>19776159
well, you are the only one replying to mind, but please fuck off if only thing you are going to do is rubbing salt on my wounds. anyway, culture i grew up in wasnt as sexual,sensual, and physical as american one. cant never get used to such "baby its cold outside" tactics. maybe qutb was right after all.

[Anonymous No.19776204]

A Theory of Cancer

I've been thinking about cancer. Namely, its importance in the theory of evolutionary biology. Cancer is typically framed only in clinical terms as its disease factor, a scourge of medicine that must be eliminated. The unfortunate reality is that cancer is inevitable as it is a direct byproduct of the principles of cellular division.

It runs deeper than that. I propose a theory in which there is a microevolutionary struggle between noncancerous and cancerous cells that plays out at the proteinic and genetic levels of selection. Cancer is fundamental to the evolution of multicellular organisms. Multicellular organisms are not perfect unities of function but actually communities of "allied" cells, which, if the wrong mechanisms broke down, would then "rebel" and go rogue. Cancer is therefore a form of rebellion or cellular anarchy in which cancerous cells seek to privilege their own local division out of sync with the regulated harmony of the overall organism.

Of course an animal is a group effort and without this careful cooperation the implicit biological planning disintegrates. The cancer cells divide chaotically and wantonly because they are no longer coordinated by the carefully balanced cellular signalling mechanisms which keep everything in order. Ultimately this is why cancer proves fatal.

The worrisome potential implication of this view of cancer is that it is statistically inevitable. All cells want to behave like cancer and divide endlessly until they fill up the whole universe. But the structural unity of the organism requires that this lust to replicate is suppressed for the survivability of all. However, through entropy or genetic coding errors, eventually those controls which keep the cellular division switches off or on where necessary break. And if the switch is left on, the cell becomes cancerous.

Mathematically, the odds of this happening in a sufficiently sized population approaches 1. Trillions upon trillions of cells, and many, many more genetic coding events, any one of which could misfire and allow a cell to greedily declare its independence as cancer.

Cancer represents a reversion of biological complexity to the prokaryotic phase of constant and disorganized uncontrolled division. Cancer is when eukaryotic cells start behaving like bacteria in multicellular organisms.

[Anonymous No.19776212]

>>19774468
les appendices was a good show

[Anonymous No.19776256]

>>19776159
jesus man would you let up

[Anonymous No.19776273]

>>19776169
classically seeking compassion on 4chan is a gamble.

[Anonymous No.19776281]

>>19776273
im drunk

[Anonymous No.19776293]

I suppose you can't really tell from that story.
holy fuck.

Holy Fuck.

[Anonymous No.19776300]

>>19773594
>being intelligent and manly is the ability to entertain a hole
Do you people even read what you write?

[Anonymous No.19776432]

As nice as I think literature is, I don't care enough about it to read literary books nowadays. I mostly read about religion, philosophy and stem for school. But sometimes the thought occurs to me how nice it would be if I happened to get married someday and read and discussed novels with my wife. Imagine going through a full Tolstoy novel and discussing every bit. It would be a time much better spent than watching TV as I assume most couples do.

[Anonymous No.19776448]

>>19776432
did people really do that with their spouses back in the day?

[Anonymous No.19776460]

I havent had sex in 7 years

[Anonymous No.19776474]

Whatever happened to that one faggot who actually raped his wife instead of taking the vaccine because he was a retard?

[Anonymous No.19776523]

>>19774513
>despotic moderation
This is a big one

[Anonymous No.19776529]

>>19776448
Wagneranon used to post from Cosima's diary about how Wagner used to read Homer and other authors to her and she really liked it.

[Anonymous No.19776635]

>>19773594
How the fuck did you even get the date in the first place nigger

[Anonymous No.19776655]

I just remembered that Khomeini lived in France, a NATO country, right up until the revolution. that's not conspicuous at all. the shah was dying of cancer. they needed a step forward. the americans generally favored "islamism" over leftism (see for instance Hamas, Mujahedin). it was probably orchestrated by westoids. Who knows, but probably. a NATO country. What was he doing there.

[Anonymous No.19776660]

>>19776655
he instigated opposition from there too, actively. sent tapes that were mas-distributed in Iran iirc

[Anonymous No.19776672]

>>19776655
Older Iranians say BBC Persian was broadcasting Khomeini's messages all the time. I think western powers initially thought they could use him as a puppet figure so they installed him in power. Then he went against all agreements with them so they started funding the Iran-Iraq war.

[Anonymous No.19776935]

>>19776672
he was always a puppet until the very end

[Anonymous No.19776941]

>>19776935
How would you support that claim?

[Anonymous No.19776959]

My kingdom for a frog

[Anonymous No.19776985]

There are some out of print books that I would very much like to have on my bookshelf. Is there a way to have a pdf printed and bind in a professional way?

[Anonymous No.19776988]

gene wolfe is fuckin based

[Anonymous No.19777003]

I never played real MMOs like WoW back in the day (couldn't run it on my PC lol), but I did play a bit of Runescape, and just from doing that I kinda get why people fall in love with MMOs. Everyone in Runescape starts out the same: Killing goblins and chickens, cutting down trees, doing the f2p quests, and trying to get better armor, more GP, and maybe (someday) beat Dragon Slayer. That was the end of f2p, once you beat that quest, but it was a whole game by itself and took over 100 hours to do. What amazed me as a kid is realizing that this is just the beginning. Every facet of the game is like a unique rabbit hole, and if you find something you like you can just hone in on that and that becomes your version of the game. You like team battles? Well, try clan wars. Want something slightly different and more strategic? Try Castle Wars. Wanna up the stakes? Try wildy pvp. Runescape wasn't amazing or anything - graphics were hard on the eyes, desu only the quest design still stands out - but it's still a great memory. Reading 4chan or reddit discuss the game is also crazy because everyone's doing endgame content that's totally different from what you and me probably experienced back then. Thinking about it makes me want to get into a more traditional MMO now.

[Anonymous No.19777022]

>>19776988
I find his unapologetic love of gigantic breasts to be incredibly amusing.

[Anonymous No.19777030]

>>19776941
look into his family anon, and their financial contracts

[Anonymous No.19777032]

>>19776655
>>19776672
Why would the west want to overthrow the Shah when the Shah was the biggest puppet of the west?

[Anonymous No.19777137]

The memories keep coming back to me. It’s 4am and my brain is just torturing me with them. No matter what I do, I cannot pacify myself. If I go to YouTube I see people having conversations, which reminds me of how autistic I acted. If I go to 4chan I see pictures of girls, which reminds me of her. If I try to sleep, the memories come back on their own. No matter what I do I cannot escape them.
Before I was able to sleep because I was drunk but now that it’s worn off my brain has decided to wake me up and torture me. And I mean this in a physical sense. When the memories come it’s like someone is driving a screwdriver through my brain; my whole body tenses up, my legs start writhing, my eyes close tightly, I whisper “kill me kill me”, I clench my fists and smash them into the mattress. It’s like an electric jolt which makes my body act in this way. And there’s nothing I can do to help it.

[Anonymous No.19777140]

>>19773555
gay sex ouroboros

[Anonymous No.19777146]

>>19776655
This is absolutely absurd. Iran went from being one of the West's biggest allies in MENA before the Islamic Revolution to its single biggest enemy afterwards.

[Anonymous No.19777198]

>>19777146
>he believes the official story
KWAT (kek what a tool)

[Anonymous No.19777200]

>>19776655
So the Americans overthrew the Shah, their own puppet that they installed when they brought down Mosadeq, because he was dying of cancer? And they did this to install a virulently anti-western theocracy, which obviously hated them? And you suspect all this merely from the fact that Khomeini lived in France?

[Anonymous No.19777213]

I'm trying to get a remedial massage for sports strains but I keep walking into disguised rub and tugs with rude thai whores, how do I find a place that isn't shit?

[Anonymous No.19777214]

>>19777137
You are trying to block your feelings out. You need to face them. They keep coming back for a reason

[Anonymous No.19777222]

>>19777200
If this narrative was the case, the Shah's son would have been a better candidate as a puppet.

[Anonymous No.19777223]

>>19777214
The feelings are just shame, disgrace, and embarrassment. They’re just so strong that they keep coming back indefinitely. I’m a neurotic retard.

[Anonymous No.19777243]

I'm always so relieved when my housemate leaves the house - which is rare. He's completely fine and unobtrusive but I guess I just hate having another person in the house. I'm not antisocial either I enjoy hanging out with friends etc. but I can't wait until I can afford to live alone.

[Anonymous No.19777256]

>>19777223
You still need to feel them. Really try to stay with them as much as possible. They will go away. You wont go crazy I promise, I’ve gone through it

[Anonymous No.19777278]

>>19773555
i have exactly $3.10 in my name and close to 3 grand in debt
i spent it all on liquor man
the only thing i regret is that i don't have enough for more liquor

[the xi jinping of weed smoking !!oqyjkIO5smI No.19777294]

https://voca.ro/18yKbWONFgTD

[Anonymous No.19777314]

>>19775270
Perhaps. God can do anything, especially when you’re open to hearing His word, but it could just also be your imagination. If you’re ever uncertain or want to know more, you can read up about a particular one. I personally believe in Jesus Christ.

[Anonymous No.19777318]

One of the most attractive traits a woman can have is blonde hair, be it natural or dyed. Weight, skin color, etc. are all moot if she has blonde hair.

[Anonymous No.19777324]

>>19777256
Maybe you’re right but it’s very painful to retrace the memories in my mind willingly. I will try though, thanks.

[Anonymous No.19777335]

>>19776204
I’m going to steal the first three paragraphs and use it as a pro-communism metaphor

[Anonymous No.19777338]

>>19776448
My Aunt and Uncle used to do that all the time, and when I was younger I would join in, too sometimes. Nothing pretentious like a lot of folk would like, mostly Dean Koontz novels and such

[Anonymous No.19777346]

>>19777200
a NATO country

N A T O
A
T
O
M
A
T
O

[Anonymous No.19777355]

I feel like I only converted to Christianity to cope with life. Yeah I go to mass and pray but do I really believe in it? I’m not sure. I think if somebody put a gun to my head and told me to deny Christ I would do it. Sometimes I’m praying and I just think how ridiculous I must seem, saying words in my head which there is no indication that anyone else hears.

[Anonymous No.19777358]

>>19777355
I struggled with this. Belief is a choice man. If you want to believe you will believe.

[Anonymous No.19777362]

>>19773581
Don't tolerate shame, faggot.

[Anonymous No.19777381]

>>19777358
Yeah maybe. Also I hate the idea that I will live forever. Even if it’s a happy existence in heaven or whatever it seems like non existence is the preferable option eventually

[Anonymous No.19777386]

>>19777355
That’s ok, don’t feel like you have to force it. Just read the Bible and ask God if He can show you the way.

If it’s His plan, you’ll feel a connection with Him, but if it’s not you might have a different journey for awhile. Who knows?

The important thing I take from Christianity other than knowing Jesus and believing in Him is that you can just been a good person and still have it all work out. There are times when it seems like you might be forced into doing something bad or mean, or you just feel like something really unfair is going to happen to you and there won’t be anything you can do about it, but every time I center myself with God and trust in Him to keep His word, sure me the way, or I have to read and pray a lot about something I eventually come to the answer and get passed it without having to be a bad person. It can be hard understanding all of the things that happen in the world, but if you keep yourself focused on being a good person the rest tends to work out.

[Anonymous No.19777390]

>>19777381
Read Augustine.

[Anonymous No.19777422]

>>19777355
i've often wondered about the nature of faith, i mean it's such an abstract subjective thing. every once in a while every last doubt is erased from my mind as if it never existed and my faith is absolutely ecstatic. other times it's like nothing, i have to actively labor to keep the faith. but one thing's certain about this, never deny Christ. this is both the ultimate and the easiest test. take up your cross and carry it, because that's more important than all else. it's better to die rectified than live in sin
Peter himself denied our Lord three times and was still saved. imagine how blessed you'd be for doing what even Peter couldn't

[Anonymous No.19777434]

I just realized I'm not in total control of my life bros. What do? I'm freaking out here.

[Anonymous No.19777450]

>>19777434
Suicide

[Human No.19777566]

>>19777294
https://vocaroo.com/1kbOsDa7I9nv

[Anonymous No.19777636]

https://voca.ro/12agTQcz1LGD

[Anonymous No.19777679]

https://climateclock.net/
The Great Cataclysm approaches.

[the xi jinping of weed smoking !!oqyjkIO5smI No.19777699]

>>19777566
not always big on plunderphonics but this was pretty interesting. how'd you do it?
>>19777636
harder next time, please

[Anonymous No.19777705]

>>19777422
God isn’t a burden, He’s cathartic, like a cool drink of water. It’s ok if you’re still finding Him, that doesn’t make you bad, that means He’s taking time to teach out something

[Anonymous No.19777708]

>>19777381
It’s beyond our understanding. I have faith that whatever it is it will be the right thing

[Anonymous No.19777714]

>>19777705

Wrong, nothing worth liking about the idea of god, humans are unfortunately and inherently stupid for inclining to that falsehood. The task of humanity is to cause autism in all in order to mute this false impulse in the human condition.

[Anonymous No.19777723]

>>19777699
I was just messing around on Audacity.

[Anonymous No.19777729]

>>19777705
our Lord's burden is light, but there's no need to diminish the fact that it's a burden. we often have to make personal sacrifices for the Kingdom of God. not everything we do for God will be a happy experience for us. our spiritual needs will not always line up with our living desires. that's fine. it's ok to hurt. in fact, it's preferable
our Father doesn't command us to be unhappy in life, but He does command us to do things that will make some of us unhappy. it's ok

[Anonymous No.19777751]

There's a part of me that wants Russia to take Ukraine. Just annex the whole country. Not because I have any particular love of Russia or hatred of Ukraine. But because it would probably put a final stake through the heart of the postwar order. And I really, really want the postwar order to die. I'm ready for something new in world affairs.

[Anonymous No.19777768]

>>19777751

The postwar order is good and your feelings are wrong, shame on you. You are stupid young man sick of peace and wrongfully yearning for a war. You have to go through the stupidity of a war to learn for yourself the hard way rather than being an old man who has already been through one, and this is the tragedy of mankind: that every individual has to keep re-learning the same simple stupid lessons over and over again.

The science fiction program Battlestar Galactica proposed a solution to this terrible situation, in which the experience gained by other cylons was preserved in servers and transmitted to newborns.

[Anonymous No.19777839]

>>19773555
GENTLEMAN
ITS TIME TO HAVE GAY SEX

[Anonymous No.19777841]

Spinoza... Goated with the sauce

[Anonymous No.19777848]

>>19777839
Ok. <3

>>19777751
>it would probably put a final stake through the heart of the postwar order
LMAO?! Are you underage? You know nothing about geopolitics faggot.
t. Russian

[Anonymous No.19777859]

I'm getting tired of my gf, should I hire an escort?

[Anonymous No.19777867]

>>19773555
Lamb of God gonna open up the seventh seal real soon
Are you making yourself ready? Don't wanna get caught off guard

[Anonymous No.19777935]

at the end of the day big dicks will rule the world eventually

[Anonymous No.19777936]

>>19777935
My boyfriend has a really big dick.

[Anonymous No.19777940]

>>19777859
Stop fucking larping faggot, everyone can see right through you

[Anonymous No.19777960]

>>19777032
he was dying, he died very, very soon after

[Anonymous No.19777965]

>>19777030
not him but please don't make me dig, I'll take it at face value, you can ruin a person for free with your tales

[Anonymous No.19777967]

>>19777936
nice

[Anonymous No.19777968]

>>19777137
what you gotta understand anon is that on some level you understood that this was at stake, and you did it anyway. you're gonna get better and you're gonna do it again. until then try not to be so hard on yourself. none of this in any ways condemns you as a person, if anything you showed guts. it's a fucking mess figuring it out, it is for everyone.

[Anonymous No.19777969]

>>19773710
>We were sat there in silence in an empty cafe and she was fidgeting, looking around everywhere. I felt bad for her. Then I said I’ll go and she shook her head as if to say yes please do so I left.
Chick sounds like an entitled loser. She offers nothing except the opportunity for you to perform for her. She probably feels victimized by the experience.

[Anonymous No.19777972]

>>19777200
>>19777346
it is absolutely impossible that they didn' tknow what he was going to do when he left France

[Anonymous No.19777985]

>>19773827
My sir. I have blown an inexplicable amount of chances. Truly, truly, devastating amounts. It's normal sir, trust me. God be with you sir

[Anonymous No.19777987]

>>19777969
Lol, what the fuck is this projection? Maybe she was shy too, just like anon.

[Anonymous No.19777988]

>>19776474
Seconding this. I want to know if the faggot actually ruins his life by actually following advice on 4chan.

[Anonymous No.19777992]

>>19777987
/lit/ has a lot of incels. It becomes extremely obvious whenever women are brought up.

[Anonymous No.19777994]

>>19775900
kek describes 90% of posting on here

[Anonymous No.19777998]

>>19777960
>>19777972
I still don’t get it. The Shah had sons, did he not? His son would have succeeded him and what would be the reason to think that his son would behave any differently?

[Anonymous No.19778000]

>>19773555
I made my girlfriend a cross necklace for her birthday. She told me she always worried about breaking one of the tiny, fragile ones so I milled a larger one out of steel. I hope she likes it

[Anonymous No.19778001]

>>19776273
lol

[Anonymous No.19778006]

>>19778000
Lol are you serious? Who’s going to wear that?

[Anonymous No.19778009]

>>19778000
Ugly as fuck

[Anonymous No.19778013]

>>19778006
Hey man, she said she wanted a nonfragile one
I should know, I've thrown it at the wall where I work and it did fine

[Anonymous No.19778014]

>>19777137
Something that helps me purge disgusting memories like what you're experiencing is simply to describe it, moment by moment, in writing. Release every detail. DO NOT LIE IN PITY. You need to purge the emotion.

[Anonymous No.19778023]

>>19778000
Nice idea anon, but I would suggest attaching a fine chain, rather than that cord, if it's for a chick lol

[Anonymous No.19778027]

>>19777386
this was beautifully said anon. it sounds like very sound advice to me. I wanted to ask, it may be a dumb question but I'm curious if you know:

do you know how christianity views good deeds without faith? ie if someone does the right thing but not for the sake of faith in God or his Prophet? I know this can be somewhat ambivalent in other religions, and I think it's down to how the spirit will relate to God after death, that in order for the deeds to come fully to fruition they should be building a bridge toward God, or something like this, and that if they are not doing so then.. well it seems unclear, but it's a question that comes up. Idk, but if you know anything of this nature I'd find it interesting. Clearly it is always best that everyone is nice, because this is what everyone truly prefers and what God prefers. But as far as the afterlife goes, and metaphysics and everything. This may be a stupidly over-intellectual thing to think about and a meaningless diversion, but either way I'm glad I typed it out because I've been thinking about it.

[Anonymous No.19778029]

I really like Beth Gibbons album Out Of Season
I like it, sirs, very much

[Anonymous No.19778031]

>>19777998
when I first heard this hteory a long time ago, which is what I remembered last night, the idea was that there was a strong pro-leftist movement that needed parrying. the model with the monarchy was over, basically. I have no idea, but that was the story. I remembered all this because I was looking up wahabism. That, I do think, was a western project. that's what reminded me. The evidence isn't complete, but it's strong enough imo, on wahabism.

[Anonymous No.19778032]

>>19778023
She requested the paracord, actually
In her exact words 'make it as hard to damage as possible'

[Anonymous No.19778059]

>>19778027
NTA

1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.

2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth
it, that it may bring forth more fruit.

3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.

4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can
ye, except ye abide in me.

5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit:
for without me ye can do nothing.

6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast
them into the fire, and they are burned.

7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

I'm not sure exactly what you're asking - "are good deeds without faith really good?" As per the above, there is no life (fruit) outside of Christ (the vine). A non-believer can do a 'good' deed, but it will only be of the earth, not of God: the Truth and the only good.

[Anonymous No.19778070]

I used to tell myself that I was fine being alone. that it's better off this way. I don't get along with people I live with, I can't even keep my apartment clean, sex honestly kind of grosses me out, and the fact that I'm almost exclusively into loli rules out any possibility of having any kind of romantic life.

and yet, ever since I found out the girl I had a crush on in middle school got engaged, ever since I learned she looks exactly the way I remember her, I haven't been able to get it out of my head. It hurts to realize how 90% of the happiness in your life is behind you despite probably having half your life left before your inevitable suicide

[Anonymous No.19778074]

>>19778059
very good response and a very good read. this

>5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

>6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.

answers very well what I meant to ask.
thank you anon

[Anonymous No.19778091]

>>19777318
I agree except it has to be natural.

[Anonymous No.19778103]

>>19777839
Can't we just kiss and snuggle (with you inevitably climbing on top of me, pinning me down, and fucking me silly) instead?

[Anonymous No.19778128]

>>19778029
yes, it's good, all Portishead albums are great as well

[Anonymous No.19778154]

>>19778128
I agree, though a lot of Third I find quite disagreeable, and I can only listen to it in particular moods

Mysteries and Sand River are the stand-out tracks for me, but yea - it's all good

[Anonymous No.19778160]

I respect flat earthers. The truth is that the vast majority of people believe in round earth simply because the authorities told them to. If you brought up flat earth objections to the average man, he would have no way of answering them, but even though he’s ignorant he would still call the flat earther stupid and moronic. Flat earth goes against the dogma that he was taught so, like a medieval friar gasping at the thought of heresy, he will ridicule and deride all those who believe in it.
When I was in uni I had a philosophy lecture about flat earth. The professor gave some arguments against it and psychologised those who believed in it as “crazy American Evangelical Christians”. Then he said something really disgusting. Namely, that there is an “economy of knowledge” whose currency is trust. This “economy of knowledge” is made up of all the “expert research and opinions” which, he said, are impossible for one man to grasp. Hence we must buy into this economy of knowledge with our trust, and put faith in the experts and institutions which comprise it, whether or not we are convinced through the evidence. That struck me as such an Orwellian, anti-philosophical notion that from that day I never respected academics anymore.

[Anonymous No.19778167]

>>19778154
>though a lot of Third I find quite disagreeable, and I can only listen to it in particular moods
for sure, I think Third is one of the best albums of 2000s but whenever I'm in the mood for some Portishead it's usually Dummy or more rarely their self titled LP

[Anonymous No.19778181]

>>19778160
Good outlook. I utterly believe that it and all other 'conspiracy' movements are made to look ridiculous to muddy the waters. First it's rehashing old memes about flat earth/what have you, then the really mundane stuff like, say, the Antisemitic Point of No Return with 9/11 being an inside job or the Lusitania being sunk to get America into WWI, then before you know it the truly grim things like the Trinity test being a cover to summon demons into the world or the CIA 'accidentally' founding a child sex trafficking ring (The Finders, freaky shit) are trumped up to the same level as something made to be the thought of buffoons. Real, documented events, often declassified, are held to intentionally stupid-looking equivalents because everything which goes against the mainstream or it's respective margins must all be the same chud/boomer/facebook nonsense

[Anonymous No.19778193]

>>19778181
Bezmenov (defected KGB (that much is probably true, but it's fair to mention that this means he has been a professional liar twice (KGB and CIA), and he didn't even have the decency to keep lying for the same side) said the russians amplify all extremes. It would, if I understand him correctly, be their strat to amplify both the flat earthers and those who ridicule, simply because all of this increases tention. I'm sure they do, it seems a simple enough strat. I'm not sure this proves that neither "movement" is organic on some level, that's not what I'm saying, I'm just saying a lot of noise is only meant to be noise. Probably.

[Anonymous No.19778203]

>>19778181
Yes this is a stupid tactic that they use, and the normie has so deeply imbibed it that he will respond, “What, you’re a flat earther now? Ahahaha moron!” if you try to bring up any government conspiracy, even if it has nothing to do with flat earth.

[Anonymous No.19778207]

>>19778193
>Noise for noise
Pretty much. It's a field of locust, Anon. I at least take solace in the knowledge that odds are good whoever's behind everything is old, decrepit, and suffered from the same Boomer generational narcissism so as to not pass on properly whatever Hellish machine they made to their children

[Anonymous No.19778219]

>>19778160
>I respect flat earthers
I do, too. Solely for the reason that it is very much better to be deeply wrong about something, than shallow in rightness, I think. It really takes a special spirit to be forthright, and earnestly believe, in any 'conspiracy theory,' regardless of how zany. >>19778181 exactly. What a terribly powerful tool it is to label something as conspiracy.

I'm at the point where I instinctively distrust anything targeted by conspiracy theories i.e. if there is a legitimate conspiracy theory regarding something it seems to indicate something worth paying attention to, at least

[Anonymous No.19778220]

>>19778160
THE EARTH /LOOKS/ ROUND WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE HORIZON AND YOU CAN /SEE/ THAT IT IS ROUND WHEN YOU CLIMB UP A MOUNTAIN

[Anonymous No.19778231]

Knowledge of software programming. Any useful info to get fiction writing wise if i go into this?

[Anonymous No.19778235]

>>19778160
>This “economy of knowledge” is made up of all the “expert research and opinions” which, he said, are impossible for one man to grasp.
This is broadly true though. Just as most people don't have much real knowledge pertaining to the earth not being flat, it is impossible to have deep enough knowledge of too many of the multitude of available topics at once to actually claim to understand them. You have to buy into a sort of economy of knowledge. There will always be "knowledge" you implicitly accept without really knowing the first thing about it. Don't you think?
Unless you really commit to cultivating an awareness of your own cognitive limitations to the point where you refuse to participate in conversations even about things normally considered "common sense" or accepted knowledge.

[Anonymous No.19778253]

Fire is coming. What good shall I do today? God made the integers, all else is the work of man. You're supposed to have fun with it. Get your steps in. Cantor's revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. Silly bitch. Your weapons cannot harm me. I'm the juggernaut. Degenerates like you belong on a cross. N*E*R*D*: No-one Ever Reads Derrida. & why would they? Totally Spies was like a Powerpuff Girls rip off for sassy teens but you know what I like it, too, by God.

[Anonymous No.19778255]

>>19778253
I'm reading Derrida as we speak.

[Anonymous No.19778295]

>>19778220
Right that’s personally why I think it’s likely that the earth is round. But flat earthers have responses to this and they have their own objections, such as: Why do we only ever see one side of the moon? This is one objection that I remember my professor dealing with, and he admitted it’s not straightforward to answer. The point I’m making isn’t that the earth is flat but that we are actively encouraged not to engage in critical thinking and just “trust the experts”.
>>19778235
I don’t positively affirm anything that I haven’t been convinced of. It’s true I may go to a doctor if I get cancer, but I will always view their methods with distrust and skepticism. Otherwise it’s no better than religion. And you can easily disprove the “economy of knowledge” by showing that at one point in history it would have you accept geocentrism, and at another it would say you’re a moron if you don’t accept heliocentrism. The “economy of knowledge” is not a stable epistemic principle.

[Anonymous No.19778307]

>>19778295
>Why do we only ever see one side of the moon?
Because of how the moon rotates vs how the earth rotates, simple physical concepts.

[Anonymous No.19778443]

Pussy pussy pussy
Pussy on my mind
Pussy at the Grade 10 disco
Pussy on her 25th
Pussy on valentines day
Pussy gave me HPV
Pussy gave me herpes
Pussy on the couch in the backyard of your friends place, I taught her how to smoke her first cigarette
Pussy cries because he wasted his life chasing pussy
Pussy pussy cock
Pussy pussy dread
Pussy pussy ghost
Pussy drank peach vodka straight by the swingsets on new year's eve
Pussy broke her heart
Pussy on her bed as the rain is falling by the big Coca Cola sign
Pussy hole is empty
Pussy from a big fat French bitch
Pussy from your best friend's girlfriend
Pussy hole
Pussy heart
Pussy death

[Anonymous No.19778473]

I might sound like a complete snob and pseud right now but I find it pretty hard to connect with people and friends who don't read or don't share reading as their main hobby tbqh. A lot of the time this is not a huge issue but occasionally there seems to be such a disconnect between us.

[Anonymous No.19778480]

>>19778160
You can fucking see that the earth is round with your own eyes though. I have no gripes with conspiracy theorists but this a stupid one to even pretend to defend as a contrarian thought exercises.

[Anonymous No.19778494]

>>19778307
>simple physical concepts.
but, surely, on some level completely fucking insane. they just *happen* to be *exactly* in sync?

[Anonymous No.19778511]

Late night lit hours

[Anonymous No.19778535]

>>19778494
if anything THIS must be the work of the jew

[Anonymous No.19778543]

>>19778494
There's a rope tying the two together duh

[Anonymous No.19778568]

>>19778494
Yes things are in sync because they are connected by gravity in spacetime.

[Anonymous No.19778580]

>>19778511
Its 1.30 PM, baby.

[Anonymous No.19778596]

Nostalgia is so funny. Intellectually I know that things weren't necessarily better 8 years ago but emotionally your heart only resonates with the good times. I've been feeling a lot sadder about the past lately, I'm not sure why, part of entering your mid 20s I suppose. I know it's better not to dwell on the past but it can nice sometimes, even when it makes you sad.

[Anonymous No.19778614]

>>19778580
Not in North American West

[Anonymous No.19778619]

>>19778614
Where? My continent is the only continent that exists.

[Anonymous No.19778621]

>>19778619
I don't want to be specific

[Anonymous No.19778627]

>>19778596
>but emotionally your heart only resonates with the good times
I find it the same, it's incredible. it's like over time you only retain what mattered. maybe, I'm not sure. I'm also just discovering this.

[Anonymous No.19778663]

tomorrow I'm going to read 100 pages of my book and write down all my story ideas in my new journal

[Anonymous No.19778695]

my ability to speak is decreasing. i can mumble if i try but it causes a lot of friction. i dont understand why. its starting to annoy others.

[Anonymous No.19778717]

15 Signs you're a "Gremblo" Male (SUPER RARE) & Is it Better Than "Alpha"?!

[Anonymous No.19778718]

Does anyone else have bad dreams every single night? Not nightmares per se, but uncomfortable or confronting dreams. It makes sleep a real chore.

[Anonymous No.19778988]

>>19776460
I beat your highscore by 2 decades, rookie.

>>19777213
Check the place isn't listed on rubmaps maybe?

>>19777434
Watch a load of Alan Watts vidz on YT

>>19777935
Always did

>>19778255
To what end?

>>19778443
reminds me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dchU2Zf93VU

>>19778596
People tend to remember how things make them feel rather than specific details ((y)mmv w/'tism). So, we tend to remember the emotional apexes of the past and tie a few impressions of people or places to these feelings. Only on extended reflection and in long quiet do the details emerge. In this way we can feel that there is some now-lost emotional power in the past whilst simultaneously
knowing on some level that quality of life is not monotonic decreasing w/time.

BONUS: the above is also why if you want to remember something it's made easier by somehow relating that piece of information back to something about which you already feel strongly & committing the relation betwixt thee two to rememoria.

>>19778695
Stand in front of the mirror and practise like a Sim/austist.

>>19778718
In a depressive period, yes. I'm usually back at school and being blamed for something I did not do. I usually also am repeating a stage of education I don't need and it just feels like a frustrating waste of time (e.g.: re-doing my gcse english (despite already having an A* thankuvmuch) and also being about to cop a de-gree). Feels a lot like being at school irl did at the time, actually.

Break's over now fellers. Back to tha grind für me.

[Anonymous No.19779037]

I'm an angry and moody person. I crave for conflict and my life feels empty without the struggle. However, I cannot seem to direct this anger into creativity.

[Anonymous No.19779109]

Would anyone be interested in watching 30+ hours of my autistic psychotic rambling about art theory and history of culture. Anyone?

[Anonymous No.19779112]

>>19773594
It’s especially brutal when you were once renowned for your charisma, but have since been reduced to a sullen, apathetic autist after an extended period of isolation. I am haunted by the specter of my former self, a reflection that reproaches me with its very existence

[Anonymous No.19779118]

>>19778988
>To what end I'm reading Derrida
To rhetorically BTFO all my ideological opponents with the power of deconstruction of course.

[Anonymous No.19779132]

Remember when you were a kid and you could enjoy stuff without even really understanding what it was?

[Anonymous No.19779256]

>>19773760
Theories regarding life's meaning (or lack thereof) are non-falsifiable, which is to say, not scientific. In this sense, they are very much like religions. Becker's book is a brilliant example of a man rationalising his disposition. You think it's true because you share his neurotic tendencies.

[Anonymous No.19779279]

>>19779118
How will you BTFO a man of true spirit when he demands to know your deadlift 1RM? Or if he molests your woman (male)? When you are confronted by the man with the eagle stomach and he bites your tiny neck how can you hope to hide your miserable indignity? I speak roughly to thee with no malice and nor does it bring me any joy.

[Anonymous No.19779368]

>>19779279
Nice LARP.

[Anonymous No.19779413]

>>19779368
thanks it was fun

[Anonymous No.19779505]

Work in a call centre and found out you can reset the timer subtly and no one calls you for an extra 10 mins

[Anonymous No.19779531]

I have no idea how to salvage it at this point. This was a terrible misstep that ruined everything.

[Anonymous No.19779634]

I had a dream of my ex a while back. I don't really remember the beginning. We were outside. Things were very good, I remember. I think we did some sexual things, but we didn't finish, and it kind of wasn't the point, it was just a part of our general joy, which was quite childish, pure, and really sort of.. you could feel it so strongly in your chest. Then we walked to some house, a relatively flat house. We were both excited, not exceedingly so, not in a hurry, just sort of uplifted. My grandfather was in front of the house fixing some car. We went in and ended up in a room that was entirely empty except for a sofa. We got down on the sofa and sort of fooled around, in both senses of the word. Again sort of sexual but not really the point, more as a part of a whole language of love and play and infatuation. She got up and stood with her back turned to me and I remember laying there looking at her thinking I couldn't believe I was so lucky. Then I got up too and put my arm around her and said something that made her put her head down and smile. But then she acted: she turned swiftly into my grasp, took my hand and we started dancing. Tbh I think our hands were place in a way where she would be leading, but it felt like we were both leading, alternating. Maybe her a bit more, but still. And then she started singing this dumb song, it was barely even a song, just the words "We are so happy, we are so happy" over and over again. After a little while I chimed in as the bass, "we are so happy, we are so happy". And we just danced like that for a while. And we were. Then she said "if you fix the pan I'll do the meatballs", and we had to make our way to the kitchen, which was through a sort of corridor that crossed the main hall. But neither of us wanted to stop dancing, so we sort of waltzed/sidled/crabwalked through. I'm not a weeb, but it would have made for good anime this maneouvre. My grandpa was by then standing in the hall looking on in consternation as we slid by. We crashed into the counter in the kitchen which broke up our embrace. I remember seeing a half chopped up onion, and then seeing my frying pan, which needed cleaning and I thought "ah, right". And then I woke up.

We were that happy at times. That supid level of happy. Nice thing was, maybe, that as I woke up my first thought was "I have to remember that dumb song"; second thought was to try to feel if I felt sad, or that I missed her, but really I didn't at all.. I felt a kind of optimism, and I thought "I hope she had the same dream, I hope that was really her in there somehow". I say "maybe nice" because maybe it's time to get over. But I feel ok and do fine. Hope she's doing good.

[Anonymous No.19779663]

I can't stop fantasising about picrel.

[Anonymous No.19779719]

>>19779531
Civilization is going to collapse within 30 years because of climate change so it doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous No.19779729]

>>19779719
No it won't. Nothing ever happens.

[Anonymous No.19779754]

>>19779719
Climate is more subtle, but the shift from US hegemony to Chinese dominance is going to be quite messy.
“Civilization” has never been civil, so don’t waste any tears for it, but it’s going to take longer than thirty years.

[Anonymous No.19779756]

>>19779663
man, kate beckinsale should change her plastic surgeon

[Anonymous No.19779857]

>>19779756
Millie mogs her.

[Anonymous No.19779877]

>>19773633
I remember my dreams in detail, when I wake up I walk my way back through them as best as I can for a little while before I get out of bed.

[Anonymous No.19779897]

>>19779754
>Climate is more subtle, but the shift from US hegemony to Chinese dominance is going to be quite messy.
Literally who cares about China. Mark my words, they won’t be able to take Guam away from us, much less any of the American mainland. Climate change will drown our coasts and cities, destroy our interior, etc. China is far less of a threat to America than climate change is.

[Anonymous No.19779923]

>>19779897
China isn’t itching to invade, didn’t mean to imply.
And Guam, as you say will be reclaimed by the ocean in due time. Maybe thirty, maybe fifty years. The collapsing is going to be multifold. I’m just saying which calamity comes first.

[Anonymous No.19779931]

>>19776448
I do that with my gf now while we lounge

[Anonymous No.19780224]

I watch ASMR videos on mute because I find some of those girls painfully beautiful but the whole ASMR sound thing annoys me to the extreme.

[Anonymous No.19780366]

I'm thinking about the best handjob I've ever gotten

[Anonymous No.19780375]

I wonder if there's a relationship between inteligence and difficulty expressing oneself

[Anonymous No.19780413]

Ind wo ce f omed me aly' acrlye qureme an ofld ntentendse hanct o

[Almonde No.19780464]

"A Heart Shaped Box"

A vison of Christ!

Breakings news! This just in... Joshua Norton heals the sick of their illness! He claims it is the "Will of God" so that the Son of God may be glorified! Scientist are reeling, as there is no logical explanation behind the miracles!

Is this man who he claims he is? Could it be a ruse? Perhaps it is the work of advanced technology.. Back to Tom with the Weather!

[Anonymous No.19780531]

>>19780464
Hey! Wait! I got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice

[Anonymous No.19780781]

Today I consoled the girl I am or was infatuated with. Our relationship was confusing and I had intrusive thoughts.
Turns out her boyfriend broke up, and my first reaction wasn't: Yes now's my chance!
Rather it was to provide comfort.
I'm glad these we're my thoughts.
I wanted to be friends in the first place and I hate being infatuated with her. I hope my emotions fall in their place and the intrusive thoughts completely dissapear.
I think I can make it.

[Anonymous No.19780786]

>>19773743
>but they simply paled in comparison against a raw, strange character.
what happened?. your post is a good articulate post. but what happenned with her?.

[Anonymous No.19780796]

>>19780781
You definitely can make it, Anon.

[Anonymous No.19780859]

>>19773555
I have so many ideas for short stories and novels, so many things buzz around in my head. And yet, I have no idea how to get these ideas on paper. I can see the words, I can hear the words, I can visualize it as if it were real. I can describe every little detail... Alas as I build this room through words, nothing ever moves. Nothing ever changes. Once the ideas are written down, the rest is gone. No longer can we continue the story of some poor adventurer or space cowboy. No, the room is frozen in time. The world does not exist outside this room. Our hero is now just stuck in a room, with no life around him. He has no idea why, perhaps it is instinct. Or the mind of the creator. He has no idea why he is rocking in fetal position on the floor of this room. This room he cannot comprehend, only you can. Will he stay there forever?

[Anonymous No.19780914]

I deleted all the porn from my computer, and now I feel great. I kept having nightmares that they needed to use my computer or I'd die and my family would discover all the shocking fetish videos.

[Anonymous No.19780992]

I can't take it bros. I want to believe there's more than the physical world. I want to believe there's more than competition. I spent my teens to early 20's (now 24) sniffing the air and absorbing all I could of the rational, scientific point of view while participating in competitive, manly endeavors. I built my body and mind, I worked tirelessly.
Now it may seem cringe-y but my hesitation with this worldview began when I fell in love. Whether or not this girl is my eternal counterpart doesn't much concern me as much as the act of love and loving beginning to fully make sense and acquire weight in my mind. I'm callous and narrasistic. I've become an (unconscious) machine concerned with game theory and Nash equilibriums. Hate grows in me every day. And on top of it all, the women whom I've fallen in love with is exactly the same. It was only when I felt this fallen-ness of love and its effects on my emotional state that I began to genuinely see myself. It can also be an effect of how the feminine spirit sparks self-consciousness in men especially if you are aware that you have submitted to her. Regardless, once the arrow was in my mind could no longer go on believing what is now considered the height of male, rational thought. We are all in pain because we can not see it. What we really want.

[Anonymous No.19781042]

>>19780786
a lot of reasons lead to us breaking things off. we had a lot of differences regarding where we wanted to go in life, and we had the issue of long physical distance, but ultimately i think i wasn't mature enough to handle the responsibilities of a relationship. gotta grow on your own.

[Anonymous No.19781091]

Stuck in an intro to C++ lecture. God I'm bored. And starving. I need to skip more often

[Anonymous No.19781125]

>>19779109
Trim it down to the good bits.

[Anonymous No.19781153]

>>19780914
You'll probably redownload it all within a week or so

[Anonymous No.19781184]

A PAWG in her mid 20s blew up a mall restroom. The smell finally went away 3 days later.

[Anonymous No.19781308]

>>19781184
Shit joke?

[Anonymous No.19781347]

New thread
>>19781317

[Anonymous No.19781432]

>>19780992