/wg/ Write General

[Anonymous No.19707612]

Stone City Edition
Previous Thread >>19700023

For Prose:
>The Art of Fiction, Gardner
>The Anatomy of Story, Truby
>Story Genius: How to Use Brain Science to Go Beyond Outlining and Write a Riveting Novel (Before You Waste Three Years Writing 327 Pages That Go Nowhere)
>On Becoming A Novelist
>The First Five Pages
>Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft
>How Fiction Works
>The Rhetoric of Fiction
>Steering the Craft
>On Writing, Borges

For Poetry:
>The Poetry Home Repair Manual
>Western Wind: An Introduction to Poetry
>This Craft of Verse, Borges

Related Material:
>What Editors Do
>A Student's Introduction to English Grammar
>Garner's Modern English Usage

Suggested books on storytelling:
>The Weekend Novelist
>Aristotle's Poetics
>Hero With a Thousand Faces
>Romance the Beat

Traditional publishing
> Formatting manuscript
https://blog.reedsy.com/manuscript-form

list of /wg/ authors pastebin and anonymous flash fiction anthology
https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ

[Anonymous No.19707651]

why keep making these threads if noone here writes

[Anonymous No.19707765]

>>19707155
>The thrilling conclusion to The Ballad of Long Porkton

It is well known that rats and pigs cannot abide one another. Anger grew in the pig’s heart, as they saw the rats overrun their pen. They were trapped and they could hear the rats laughing at them. They strained and pushed at the walls of the shed, but their pig bodies could not break through. They knocked and knocked, but no one came to help them. Rats darted in and out of the shadows, through the cracks of the floor, and even completely inside their bodies.

After days of this, Long Porkton could not take it any longer. He used his small fingers to pry open the boards of the shed. Porkton was the only one small enough to fit, so he would have to venture outside. He crawled out of the darkened hole, and nose to the ground followed the rat paths back to the pen. The rats did not fear the pigs, but they scattered when they saw Long Porkton approach.

It was still dark in the shed the pigs could not see well, but they could hear. They heard screams rising and falling from outside. The pigs could hear the high screeching from hundreds of rats and the their own brother’s cries from the yard. All night they heard the tearing of flesh and bone. When the sun rose the next day the farm was silent. The rats had been destroyed. Long Porkton lay in the muddy pen, holes chewed through his legs and fingers. Beside him, a pile of rat bones and rat tails. “I am hungry, Brothers,” he said to them. “Let’s eat,” they replied.

[Anonymous No.19707861]

>>19707651
If nobody here writes, how do you explain their ability to post? Where did all the words come from?

[Anonymous No.19707899]

I literally cannot stop thinking about having sex with beautiful art hoes who want my baby because I write well

[Anonymous No.19707909]

>>19707899
>was working
>read this
>now horny and have to masturbate
absolutely fuck you i hope mods permaban you

[Anonymous No.19707912]

what's the best booze for writing?

[Anonymous No.19707918]

>>19707861
The AI programs you fool

[Anonymous No.19707931]

>>19707909
Maybe if you weren't a COOMER

[Anonymous No.19707944]

[Anonymous No.19707954]

>>19707861
every full moon, anons write a max 1,200 word story. the rest of the month is spent arguing about publishing and publishers here while they sprinkle excerpts from their story.

[Anonymous No.19708073]

Up Ship! prepare for takeoff

[Anonymous No.19708081]

>>19706841
relinking for new bread

[Anonymous No.19708153]

surely not all of you are fantasyfaggots. what country do you set your stories in?

[Anonymous No.19708157]

>>19708153
hand over all of your doubloons

[Anonymous No.19708161]

>>19708153
I'm currently writing a story set inside a VR video game, main characters are NPCs.

I do regularly reference Earth nations such as crypto-miners out of Kazahkstan, volcanoes erupting in northern europe, chinese censorship causing synchronization issues between the servers, etc.

[Anonymous No.19708263]

>>19708161
>a story set inside a VR video game, main characters are NPCs.
so IRL? that's pretty boring dude.

[Anonymous No.19708280]

My novel is about a brother/sister incest romance. It's not fetish shit it's going to be a legit story. Wish me luck, bros.

[Anonymous No.19708305]

>>19708280
Best of luck, anon…just know that 90% of your readers will be jerking off to it.

[Anonymous No.19708360]

opinions?
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lG1kU46xhbOtBK4cyygybXd74mo8802RZaCkntQPAqs/edit

[Anonymous No.19708405]

>>19708305
That's fine honestly. I know that it's a taboo topic that appeals mostly to coomers but I have a real, emotional story that I want to tell and this is how I want to tell it.

[Anonymous No.19708439]

Get creative, self-publish on itch.io where there is a marketplace already for gamers and anime waters. Innovate.
https://sakevisual.itch.io/moon-child

[Anonymous No.19708484]

have you ever found well written fanfiction?

[Anonymous No.19708556]

>>19708484
Paradise Lost and Dante’s Inferno are pretty much Bible fanfic.

[Anonymous No.19708565]

Okay /wg/, how about we define what a STORY is! I would like to hear what you think, and I have a feeling some anonymous' on this general would benefit from a concise definition, and benefit from the reminder that all that writing is for is to tell stories.

So what is a story?

[Anonymous No.19708577]

>>19708565
a part of a building comprising all the rooms that are on the same level

[Anonymous No.19708595]

>>19708565
Roman a these. without meaning, a mere plot cannot be a story. A mere characterology cannot be a story.

[Anonymous No.19708689]

Update on writing in a different place anon: I drove 3 hours in the rain in the dark in the middle of no where texas coast. It was like OutRun but a nightmare in a 1970s burgerpunk myopic horror film.


And now I’m gonna get drunk.

[Anonymous No.19708735]

>>19708689
>drive 3 hours to the middle of nowhere
>get drunk
>forget to write
>leave
godspeed anon

[Anonymous No.19708783]

>>19708689
Did you get /x/'d or were you just particularly lonely?

[Anonymous No.19709012]

Two microscopic voices fizzed in X's ear. Upright she listened, lips parted, eyes fixed with acute attentiveness and sensitivity. Her two fingertips rested against the hook of the telephone.
Y entered, parting the doors backward, and X dropped the receiver into place. With red nose and wet philtrum, he swept toward her, carrying a paper tray of coffee and some newspapers.
“Morning, X! Any mail or anything?
“Yes, some.” She handed Y a thin bundle of envelopes, which he accepted in his armpit alongside the newspaper. He nodded and moved energetically toward the corridor. “Y. /Y!/”
He returned and placed the tray on the counter. “Is something the matter?”
She lowered her voice. “Y, you won’t believe what I heard.”
“Does it have anything to do with me?”
“No, it’s Mr. Z. He showed up at the courthouse this morning in his—”
He was already hoisting the coffee again. “No time for gossip! You can tell me in a minute.” He sidled out of the lobby still looking back at her. “I’m interested, really! I just have to get these out before they get cold.”

[Anonymous No.19709031]

>he doesn't have vulgar language in his bespoke toilet magazine article, that isn't yet published.
>he shied from adding violent scenes to his coffee table thought piece sitting in the stock room of trump tower.

[Anonymous No.19709055]

>>19708735
>weekend, more time to write
>get high
>get some decent ideas
>outline them
>week starts again
god dammit

[Anonymous No.19709113]

>>19708735
Well, the plan was basically that but get some fishing in, but the rain canceled that plan.
>>19708783
I didn't get /x/'d, but it was really interesting making this drive from the city to the rural coast at night compared to during the day. At least during the day there is some beauty in the barren landscape. At night the only things you see are the distant lights of oil factories and techno-barns. I could barely see ahead of me even with my brights on for 30 mile stretches on one lane roads to nowhere. Occasionally I would see a dance hall with a full parking lot. The more interesting bits was going through these small towns to get to where I was going. Some were these beautiful abandoned classic small towns with rowed businesses surrounding the court house made of brick, but most were the epitome of burgerpunk. Nothing but gas stations, hotels, and home improvement stores. A horror light show that distracted you from the complete darkness of the rest of the trip. I think I got some good material if I ever get back to writing, at least for a chapter of a character driving in the dark in the middle of nowhere.

[Anonymous No.19709124]

>>19709031
violence is great fun but i feel like reading is a magical experience and swearing isn't magical

[Anonymous No.19709175]

Should I just throw everything I've written onto my Royal Road shitpost? Like, even if it's 4 different books, all unfinished, wouldn't it just be more post modern content?

[Anonymous No.19709178]

>>19709055
>friday night, more time to write
>watch movies for ideas/mood setters
>follow up with some YouTube videos
>open my document, check 4chan on my phone
>beat off to incest porn thanks to the thread
>midnight, bed time
I might be distracted.

[Anonymous No.19709200]

>>19709178
I'd write a book about that guy. The problem is that for anything substantive to happen there would have to be an inciting incident and someone so into routine like that would spend years before one of the few chances they leave the house would turn up something.

>I went to the grocery store on tuesday night, near eleven p.m.. This was when my neighborhood location was restocking product, so most of the suburban moms weren't there and the staff had their headphones on. I liked playing the avoidance game where I dodged my cart around their pallets. I didn't have to apologize because they couldn't hear me. I always imagined they were listening to audio boooks about how to properly organize their life, some kon mari shit while they made sure all the Ranch Dressing bottles were facing the right way. Anyway, it was that night I went to grab this mushroom umami sauce I love putting on everything. It was the last bottle and this elderly asian woman started yelling at me for taking the last one. How could I know that this bottle of sauce was the record-scratch-how-did-I-get-here of my journey into learning the acient ways of the drunken fist and eventually banishing RagThlar, the incest demon of somalia.

[Anonymous No.19709209]

>>19709178
>movies as inspiration
worse than using anime or video games as inspiration

[Anonymous No.19709297]

>>19709124
fuck off you snowflake sodomizing fairy

[Anonymous No.19709304]

>gave draft to beta reader
>forgot beta reader recently lost his father a few years ago
>draft has a character who recently lost his father and it's of huge importance to the book and the character is clearly depressed afterwards
i'm really the biggest asshole on the planet what should i do. it's already too late to take the file back and he's started reading it.
>>19709055
tfw. wageslavery kills your spirit.

[Anonymous No.19709318]

>>19709304
Infinite jest would not be my favorite book if it wasn't for all the bits that felt like they were calling me out specifically. So if he likes it and feels something, then you did it right. If he hates it and thinks it's in bad taste and decides you aren't his friend anymore, then he probably needs some time.

[Anonymous No.19709409]

>>19707765
i mean it makes some sense but also no sense at all. Porkton is dead, yet he says "I am hungry, Brothers". I am impressed at the fact that it keeps some semblance of a storyline and that since he was the small pig he was the only one who could get out of the cracks in the wall... it is impressive how it at least is able to keep track of the promise of his death earlier in the story. I'm not sure what to think of this. More if you have any. or send us a link so we can experiment. Thanks for the posts though, i think AI is a very interesting field.

[Anonymous No.19709419]

>>19709012
use placeholder names instead of X and Y. It's impossible to judge your text when all i'm thinking of is that this is some kind of james bond code name situation. Or if they really are named X and Y, write a short explanation so it doesn't throw us off.
I have no critique of the actual writing since it throws me off everytime i'm trying to imagine what im reading.

[Anonymous No.19709429]

>>19709419
Here you go, with placeholder names:

Two microscopic voices fizzed in Jane's ear. Upright she listened, lips parted, eyes fixed with acute attentiveness and sensitivity. Her two fingertips rested against the hook of the telephone.
Bob entered, parting the doors backward, and Jane dropped the receiver into place. With red nose and wet philtrum, he swept toward her, carrying a paper tray of coffee and some newspapers.
“Morning, Jane! Any mail or anything?
“Yes, some.” She handed Bob a thin bundle of envelopes, which he accepted in his armpit alongside the newspaper. He nodded and moved energetically toward the corridor. “Bob. /Bob!/”
He returned and placed the tray on the counter. “Is something the matter?”
She lowered her voice. “Bob, you won’t believe what I heard.”
“Does it have anything to do with me?”
“No, it’s Mr. Smith. He showed up at the courthouse this morning in his—”
He was already hoisting the coffee again. “No time for gossip! You can tell me in a minute.” He sidled out of the lobby still looking back at her. “I’m interested, really! I just have to get these out before they get cold.”

[Anonymous No.19709448]

>>19709429
it's decent but i don't really understand it since it's too short to give me a good picture of the situation. The conversation is good but i don't understand the /Bob!/ part. Just write it with an exclamation mark and it will have the same effect, otherwise it looks like a web adress or some kind of weird formatting.

Like i said, the conversation is perfectly reasonable and so is the situation from what you're describing. So my only advice is to not confuse the reader. Keep going!

Oh ok wait, now i may be getting it: they're both serving staff at a hotel or a big firm or something? That's the only thing i can conclude it being since he's bringing her coffee but then blowing her off. Is that correct?

[Anonymous No.19709475]

>>19709448
> The conversation is good
Thanks! I've been trying hard to get better at writing dialogue. It's not something that comes all that easily to me, and I still find that a lot of the conversations sound sort of like me talking to myself.

>i don't understand the /Bob!/ part.
That's mean to represent italicization.

>Oh ok wait, now i may be getting it: they're both serving staff at a hotel or a big firm or something? That's the only thing i can conclude it being since he's bringing her coffee but then blowing her off. Is that correct?
Yes, pretty much. Good inference! He's a typist/gopher and she's a receptionist at a law firm.

It's a chunk from the middle of a short story I'm working on. I'm not sure why I posted it other than that I've been trying my goddamnedest to write it in a way that feels uncontrived -- I want the reader to feel like an invisible observer to real events. I'm trying to make the manipulating hand of the author as invisible as possible (for the most part). This bit was giving me particular trouble, for whatever reason.

[Anonymous No.19709507]

>>19708439
What the fuck is itch.io?

[Anonymous No.19709549]

>>19709475
it's good if you ask me, as long as you don't confuse us with X's, Y's and weird formatting. WAGMI, now get back to work!

[Anonymous No.19709740]

>>19707607
>soulless

[Anonymous No.19709779]

>>19709740

[Anonymous No.19710097]

>>19709507
>What the fuck is itch.io?
A marketplace and hosting site for everything from games to books to music to whatever.

[Anonymous No.19710163]

Everyone I know wants to be a writer. No one I know has made it as an author.

[Anonymous No.19710176]

>>19710163
You better expand your social circle.

[Anonymous No.19710189]

>>19710163
All your friends hang out here? Sad! Many such cases!

[Anonymous No.19710195]

>>19707612
Does anyone even read fiction books nowadays? Why bother writing a story?

[Anonymous No.19710203]

>>19710195
People read plenty of crime fiction and romance.

[Anonymous No.19710233]

>>19710203
Mostly female writers and readers. It'd be difficult to appeal to the female mind as a male writer. If you arent female why bother?

[Anonymous No.19710236]

>>19710233
If you don't feel like it, why are you here?

[Anonymous No.19710238]

>>19710236
Because I write to tell a good story not to appeal to the masses or try to get sales.

[Anonymous No.19710269]

writer underwear? which one do you write in ladies/gentlemen?

[Anonymous No.19710279]

>>19710269
Boyshorts it is.

[Anonymous No.19710303]

>>19709779
Okay, now that’s actually really funny!

[Anonymous No.19710310]

>>19710269
G string and I’m a 30BMI hairy Indian man.

[Anonymous No.19710329]

>>19710176
You know published authors who make enough money from it to be called full time writers?

[Anonymous No.19710373]

>>19709779
sounds like he's saying what? like he's not sure. not that he can't hear.

[Anonymous No.19710381]

>>19710310
lovely

[Anonymous No.19710386]

>>19710163
>>19710195
>Did you guys know that a relatively small number of people get published and of those only a small number sell enough to be full time writers?
Lowest form of /wg/ posting

[Anonymous No.19710404]

>>19710386
>Lowest form of /wg/ posting
Telling the truth is low?

[Anonymous No.19710443]

>>19710404
It's useful if you're checking someone's unreasonable expectations, but these posts were unprompted. Spamming those kind of "why bother" posts is the equivalent of yelling at high school athletes during practice about pro sports rejection rates. Everyone fucking knows but they're trying anyway.

It doesn't provide new information, constructive feedback, or encourage creativity/interesting posts - it looks more like (You) begging or just crab bucket mentality.

[Anonymous No.19710457]

>>19710443
Why are you coming to fucking 4chan for constructive feedback? Even paying beta readers from goodreads $5 is more than anything this place can manage. No one comes here for proper criticism nor should they hope to find something akin to a writing group. This place has been the single worst place to ask readers what is lacking or needs work, as they won’t even bother telling you. I have people on discord that will do it far better and it wouldn’t compromise my identity nor the ability to publish my work. I come here to SNEED instead.

[Anonymous No.19710469]

>>19709429
From what I see if it, it’s good writing.

Philtrum is a perfect use of a ‘hard word’. Not very common, but clearly it’s not just being pretentious (it’s the right term to us).

Would like to hear more (which is a good sign your writing well). When i read books about housestaff/hospitality i can’t help but think of Kazuo Ishiguro’s “The Remains of the Day” (one of my fav cozy books).

Keep posting, anon

[Anonymous No.19710473]

>>19710457
>I post uninteresting (You)bait because of SNEED XD
Sneed is funny, you are not.

[Anonymous No.19710477]

>>19710473
And you ignore my criticism of the post in question
Cope, dilate, sneed, ad infinitum. YWNBAW.

[Anonymous No.19710512]

>>19710477
Because you just latched onto one phrase of my argument (constructive feedback) and said you didn't do it here/it didn't work. But obviously anons do post ideas, challenges, draft text and do get feedback so your point is retarded.

All my points still stand, while it appears memes (and excessive incest points consumption) have rotted your brain.

[Anonymous No.19710515]

What do you guys think?

[Anonymous No.19710527]

>>19710512
>Because you just latched onto one phrase of my argument (constructive feedback) and said you didn't do it here/it didn't work. But obviously anons do post ideas, challenges, draft text and do get feedback so your point is retarded.
All of this glosses over the fact that IF any constructive feedback occurred, which it doesn’t, all the posted material is no longer able to be published with a traditional publisher because (1) it has been published online forever because of warosu archive and (2) 4chan is notorious in the public eye and it would stop you from having any respectability. That’s why I said I don’t post here, chud. Show me one (1) constructive critique here and I will be surprised.
>All my points still stand, while it appears memes
You’re haughty and don’t even realise that merely stating something to be so doesn’t make it real.

[Anonymous No.19710573]

>>19710527
See
>>19710469

Now add a trip so you're easier to spot or bettwr yet just fuck off because I'm done with you.

[Anonymous No.19710584]

>>19710573
Ignores my point once more and that isn’t a constructive criticism. It’s sucking someone’s dick and patting them on the back for using “philtrum” which isn’t even a “hard word” kek! Maybe get out of /wg/ if you can’t handle the spicy maymays, shadilay praise kek!

[Anonymous No.19710586]

>>19710515
Is this AI generated as well? It’s completely incoherent. Like someone with the ability to write decided, instead, to just string random sentences together from a dozen different stories.

Reading this was a waste of my time.

[Anonymous No.19710597]

Once upon a time, 600 million jews were murdered by white men, the end.
- A.N. Steinberg

[Anonymous No.19710601]

>>19710597
Stunning and brave.

[Anonymous No.19710727]

Are there better beta readers on Fiverr or Goodreads?

[Anonymous No.19710980]

>>19710727
Anyone paid is better than free anonymous feedback. Some of us are just cheap masochists, though!

I may come here more to give crit than receive it. Giving voice to what works or doesn’t in another’s writing helps me better understand and hone my own style.

[Anonymous No.19711271]

>>19710163
everyone wants to BE a writer but no one wants to sit down and write.

[Anonymous No.19711286]

>>19711271
I enjoy writing. I love it when things come together. But when they don't, it's the worst.

[Anonymous No.19711358]

>>19711271
>everyone wants to BE a _____ but no one wants to sit down and _____.
This applies to goddamn everything.

[Anonymous No.19711454]

>>19711358
Oh yeah? Name 800 hobbies

[Anonymous No.19711462]

How do you guys store/save your work? Do you make backups?

[Anonymous No.19711476]

>>19711462
Yes, every time I finish a writing session I put the stuff on my flash drive

[Anonymous No.19711496]

>>19711462
i email it to myself

[Anonymous No.19711560]

>>19711462
OneDrive

[Anonymous No.19711565]

>>19710469
Thanks for your generous feedback. I’ll post more in one of these threads when I get a bigger chunk to the point where I’m reasonably certain it’s not shit.

[Anonymous No.19711579]

>>19711454
I want to give you a list of 800 hobbies, anon, but I don’t want to sit down and make one.

[Anonymous No.19711991]

>>19711462
Hard copies only with a padlocked chest, hidden where no one knows. Fuck the FBI and CIA knowing what my novel is about (so no digital ever).

[Anonymous No.19712032]

>>19710527
>it has been published online forever because of warosu archive
that doesn't count dipshit

[Anonymous No.19712092]

>>19712032
I think you’re misunderstanding. I don’tvthink this anon is saying it’s ‘published’ b/c it’s on warosu, he’s saying that trad publishers won’t want something already available online.

[Anonymous No.19712117]

>>19712032
>>19712092
WTA said. It’s technically already online and will be seen as previously published.

[Anonymous No.19712405]

>>19711286
concur

[Anonymous No.19712558]

Do you guys seriously plan on just releasing a book and praying people notice the author with 2 reviews?

[Anonymous No.19712573]

>>19711462
I have literally everything on dropbox that isn't like a videogame installation. Very useful since all the reaction images I want are on every device and I never have to worry about losing any files.

[Anonymous No.19712664]

>>19712558
I know this is bait but that's what advance reviewers are for. You give them your book ahead of time and ask for a review to be typed and written the day it releases. Within the hour of it going up, it has around 20 reviews and it boosts it in the algorithm and reader credibility

[Anonymous No.19712769]

>>19707612
I'm currently writing a book where a character is giving an interview about government lockdowns and I want it to parallel the 60 Minutes interview with Madeline Albright. If I have him say verbatim what Madeline said, "I think this is a very hard choice, but we think the price is worth it", is it considered plagiarism?

[Anonymous No.19712820]

>>19712664
I know this is bait, but there’s no way advanced reviewers would give you 20 reviews. I bet you can’t even get 3. Otherwise every no name author would have a minimum of 10 and that is not the case.
Cope, you need marketing.

[Anonymous No.19712822]

>>19712664
How do you get advanced reviewers?

[Anonymous No.19712878]

>>19712820
You asked about reviews, not about marketing. If you want reviews you get advance reviewers.

[Anonymous No.19712888]

>>19712878
Yeah and no one is going to give you 20 advanced reviews. Not unless you contact more than 10,000+ people for reviews statistically.

[Anonymous No.19712939]

>>19712888
There's advance review groups on Goodreads and NetGalley. Plus you have your professional network and personal network to leverage. You can easily get 20 advance reviews for a book that way.

[Anonymous No.19713050]

>>19712939
The problem is when your ‘professional network’ and your ‘personal network’ is all just /wg/.

[Anonymous No.19713152]

>>19712939
Yawn, how much do you have to pay for that and how reliable are they?

[Anonymous No.19713335]

>>19584717
[For Flash Fiction Anthology]
Prompt: A minor god trying to prove its existence

Come aside, Boy. And stay silent.

At dawn’s light you shall set out to find yourself. You think yourself prepared - the old ones have told you of the thirty and three gods you may meet - but tonight you will learn of one more. As the son of Bounding Hare, you carry the blood of the Thuathuan. We Thuathuan carry the blessings of the thirty and three, but we also know of another - a thirty-fourth - who will appear only to those who know how to look.

Sit and listen well. I will tell you how the once mighty Thuathuan were broken, and how - by breaking - they survive still. I shall give this tale to you as it was passed to me. None without Thuathuan blood may ever hear of it, neither from your tongue or mine. Understood? Good. If the gods will it, one day you will share this in turn, so listen well.

Many generations ago - so many we have lost counting - the Far Western Plains were ruled by the Thuathuan. Proud and strong, there were none from here to the Great Water who did not respect or fear them. They moved freely across the land, and numbered so many the deep straight lines of their footpaths can be seen on the plains still. After ages conquering man, taming plant, and hunting animal, the Thuathuan faced an enemy they could not defeat: drought.

The big rains did not fall for years. Sun scorched the earth; grasses turned brown, great heards died out, dust storms blackened the sky and burned the lungs. Still, even in the face of starvation, the Thuathuan stood strong, maintaining their traditions and way of life. They chose their paths then as now, by sending their youth out to seek their gods’ blessing. Heads swollen with tales of the thirty-and-three, the children of Thuathuan left to seek out the mighty Stag, or the resourceful Fox, or the swift Horse - yet each year fewer returned.

(1/3)

[Anonymous No.19713336]

Is it possible to over use metaphor?

[Anonymous No.19713341]

>>19713335
(2/3)

Of those missing seekers we know little. Only one story survives, that of one boy like you, then called only ‘son of Surefooted Goat’. Forty days his journey lasted. Thirsty, and starved; sun so hot he slept in caves by day, walking only at night. He saw a lone deer on his journey, skeletal and fly-covered, and moved on. He saw a dead mountain lion, it’s body so full of maggots even his appetite couldn’t overcome his disgust. These could never speak to him.

The boy knew the gods would not take this long to show themselves. Either they were seen in days, or never - many a seeker returned home to become one of the nameless. As a son of Surefooted Goat, though, the boy could not accept failure. Not out of pride, his father’s obsession, but because his people needed the god’s blessings to survive. He would die before return home without hope, some path away from destruction.

On his last day he was too weak to stand. He lay on the parched earth, staring at the clouds as the sun passed overhead. He reflected on his journey, on his failure and the failure of his people. For the thirty-and-three days they fed him roasted meat and spent hours preparing him for this. All of that, wasted. What need had they for brave warriors or plant whisperers? They would die like this —like him.

A vulture blinked in and out of the blinding sky above him. Vulture was one of the thirty-and-three, but the circling bird seemed more fixed on waiting for him to perish than to speak to him. As the boy accepted his fate, a shadow passed in the corner of his eye. Then another. Flies had come to drink the little moisture left from him, and he had not the strength to bat them away.

The sound of the flies filled his mind, the buzzing fading to a throbbing hum. And somewhere within that rhythm — words.
“These tears taste bitter with the boy’s pain.”
“Yes, but what is there to do but drink?”
“We must survive, even if he shall not.”
“A pity none ever heed us, his swarm shall die without our wisdom.”

(2/3)

[Anonymous No.19713352]

>>19713341
(3/3)

The boy, not caring of he was delusional, summoned as much moisture to his throat as he could. “What wisdom?” He rasped. A cloud of flies burst into the air at once, the thrumming wings now deafening.
“You can hear us, boy?”
“We had given up so long ago.”
“Vulture approaches, is it too late for him.”
“Move, boy. Or Vulture will sweep us away and take your eyes.”

The boy forced his fingers to clench and push against the parched ground, enough to roll himself onto his side. The shadow of the vulture, wings spread to land, blocked the sun for a moment but at his movement it shrunk, rising again to circle far above.

“Return home to your swarm, boy.”
“You are ours now, you must be named.”
“We have never named one before.”
“We have no names, why should he?”
“They name us ‘Persistent Fly’, so he too shall be.”
“Go, Persistent Fly, and share with your swarm the secret of survival.”

And he did. The flies swept in front of him, leading Persistent Fly to standing water and fresh food. They taught him how a swarm must be solid in good times, but flow like air - breaking and reforming - when danger nears.

Persistent Fly returned to his people after two moons, and told him what he learned. He convinced them to set down their pride and scatter. Do whatever it takes to survive, to thrive, to lay their eggs among other clans until the day comes when they are strong enough to return to their swarm and reclaim the land they lost.

Boy, you are a fly. As am I. As are all the Broken Thuathuan, but when the call comes we shall be swarm like no other. Listen hard on your journey tomorrow for the call of the flies. I feel our time is fast approaching.

Now go to bed, and dream of the Thuathuan Swarm.

>New Prompt: A once obsolete profession finds a new use

[Anonymous No.19713361]

>>19713336
Yes, those become tropes/cliches.

Some are ‘dead metaphors’ where the term is so overused it becomes the de facto way to refer to a thing (clock hands, body of an essay) people no longer see it as a metaphor at all.

[Anonymous No.19713568]

>>19713335
>>19713341
>>19713352
I like it.

[Anonymous No.19713577]

>>19713335
Is this still a thing?

[Anonymous No.19713647]

Until then I was writing about my experience with being abused as a child. The description is a little graphic in some parts. Is there a way for that to be published or should I tone it down? Is it right to sensor myself? I'm not doing it for porn, but to shock people and show what happens when incompetent parents don't protect their child.

[Anonymous No.19713700]

Is this too descriptive?

The transport ship impacted, piercing through several flights of armor plating and deck floor. Metal screeched with a grind; glowing sparks of titanium launched out like buckshot through the interior troop bay, slashing through plastic tarps and igniting the oxygen-rich atmosphere.
In his carrier pod, Sling Trooper AA-06 watched as tongues of fire jutted from the cracking hull. Bright flashes of light filled his vision. His body shook, jerking helplessly as the ship rocketed downwards in what felt like an out of control spin.
Colton clenched his jaw. It took every ounce of willpower to keep from screaming. On the left side of his back, he felt a slivered jet of flame chewing through armor, flesh, and rib. His bones sizzled, popping with grease. A cloud of smoke began to fill the pod with a pork-smelling stink.
His view blurred as he passed in and out of consciousness.
The ACC Jouster, the vessel transporting him and forty-five other Sling Troopers into the Cygnic dreadnought, smashed to a stop as its nose struck a second layer of ship internals. The bay walls split sideways like ripped strips of paper, and crates of ammunition and field rations were flung violently in all directions.
The pod Colton was strapped into lurched forward off its bolted mounts, shot through the air, and impaled the opposite wall with a metal ringing clang.
"Insertion complete!" a panicked voice called over the open band. "Go, go, go, go!"
Colton grunted; he tasted greasy blood on his tongue. The whole world was spinning as a headache split his skull in two, the dull burning hot behind his rolling eyeballs. With a shaking hand, he pulled away at the safety harness on his chest. The silver-jawed belt buckles snapped open and he fell onto the grated floor with a thud.
For a moment he paused, breathed in a lungful of recycled oxygen, and closed his eyes. His armors onboard Emergency Response Unit, ERU, injected him with a cocktail mix of Meperidine pain killers and central nerve stimulants. The pain on his back numbed. A layer of medical Bloodglue expanded over his exposed skin, covering the burn cavity with an adhesive paste of coagulants and antimicrobials.
When he opened his eyes again, his vision was clear. The beating of his heart had dulled to a soft, drugged whisper.
Colton stood to his feet with a raised sidearm.
The ship was a pulled apart mess, barely held together by the internal superstructure. What remained of his pod above was little more than a crimp of iron and melted seat cushion. The top of the flight ceiling beyond was torn open, giving way to plumes of smoke and red-looking sky. Liquid coolant dripped on his shoulder pauldron. Spikes of metal swayed in the air as grey vapor spewed from their softened edges. A tangled sprawl of blue, red, and yellow cable wires vomited sparks from their copper guts, and what remained of the Jouster's hull was quickly succumbing to plasma fire.

[Anonymous No.19713729]

>>19713700
I don't read sci-fi/fantasy so take it with a grain of salt, but I think it's right in the limit of too much. I'd put another character talking with the the pilot so they interact during the scene, easing the pace.

[Anonymous No.19713765]

>>19713700
If it were any other genre, I’d say it’s way too much. For Sci-fi it’s only a little too much.

If it’s a short story, I’d say drop the details like ship classes and ERUs, and focus on the plot. If it’s a longer story, introduce these things slower, rather than dump it all. This sample really lacks any character focus, if you put this all in the context of what AA-06 sees/thinks (there’s a joke in there about his name being ‘naught six’) it will ground it all and flow smoother.

Also ‘metal screeched with a grind’ or ‘metal ground with a screech’? Sound in space? See, this is why sci-fi needs detail, we’re all just autists looking for inconsistency in the minutiae while ignoring any themes or character arcs. Enjoy.

[Anonymous No.19713818]

To the anon who commented on my story last thread saying that the opening description of the interior of the car was (paraphrasing) screenplayish and amateur, I wanted to call you a faggot and defend myself, but while editing today I bit the bullet and cut that passage out entirely and it actually reads much better. So thanks. Faggot.

[Anonymous No.19713997]

>>19713647
do you remember those comics with the abused child?
you have to do it but do it artfully. no one wants to watch PETA commercials for a reason. but people love that comic. be a professional, not a whiner.

[Anonymous No.19714079]

>first chapter is worst in entire book
>first section of first chapter is worst in entire book
>this is what i get judged on
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.19714082]

I have not written anything. I went fishing. Started a fire. And now I’m drunk again.

[Anonymous No.19714133]

I can't write good dialogue but I feel I have good ideas

[Anonymous No.19714140]

>>19714079
Funny enough is not all books start strong so you wonder how they got published. Better get good with query letters.

[Anonymous No.19714162]

>>19714082
I didn't write anything at all this week. Tonight I wrote 1000 words for a flash fiction prompt and I had a good time and it went up on my website. It's not my book, but it's still something I did.

[Anonymous No.19714163]

>>19714133
very often the dialogue is bad not because of delivery but content. here's a tip to get you started: only write dialogue if its either a joke or an argument that results in some change (one person convinces the other, pisses them off, etc.). otherwise just summarize what was said. it's not a hard and fast rule by any means but it's a good initial filter.

[Anonymous No.19714390]

how long should a chapter be ?
I can keep a coherent series of events to 6k words, but it feels like too big a chapter.

[Anonymous No.19714395]

>>19714390
a good heuristic is the human attention span: about 10-15 minutes (note that in film and tv sequences are about this long). since the average person reads at 250wpm, 250*15 = 3750 words per chapter. Most short stories are about this length as well (~3-5k words).

[Blarty Hongo !H0lVGXJNm6 No.19714490]

>>19714133
Alice LaPlante's "The Making of a Story" has a great section on dialogue. Robert McKee's "Dialogue" also has some value.

[Anonymous No.19714573]

Every day is a step up the decrepit staircase of youth
I used to try but now I wonder what's the use
Every day is another chance to fall through into the abyss
I find myself praying that today my foot does miss
Every day is the same as the last
I can't tell the present from the future or past
Every day is my mind becoming less clear
I don't remember the difference between hope and fear
Every day is a new trick to get by
I keep piling onto the lie
Every day is its own end
I stay alive but I don't mend

[Blarty Hongo !H0lVGXJNm6 No.19714601]

>>19714573
I think this could be excellent if it were revised with a stronger emphasis on meter. The very strong rhymes and the weak meter combine in a way that isn't too pleasing.

I like "I stay alive but I don't mend."

[Anonymous No.19714679]

>>19714573
>Every day is a step up the decrepit staircase of youth
If you make it a step down
1) it conveys descent, rather than uplift/progress
2) the falling if your foot misses is more real
3) walking down is just more perilous than up
4) the whole poem will look like a shrinking staircase

Def agree with >>19714601 on meter
For example:
>Every day is a step down the staircase of youth
>I once used to try, now I don’t see the use
Not the best, but has an emphasis every third syllable with the second line slightly offset from the first.
A word like ‘Decrepit’ will fuck up nearly any meter you throw at it.

[Anonymous No.19714704]

>>19714133
dialogue reveals character
that's all you really need to know

[Anonymous No.19714769]

>>19714573 One revision for now and perhaps ever. Either way.

Every day is a misstep on the staircase of youth
I ignore that I become ever more uncouth
Every day is another chance to fall to the abyss
I find myself praying that today my foot does miss
Every day is a mistaken stumble
I can't help but wait for the final tumble
Every day is the same as the last
I confuse the present, future, and past
Every day is my mind less clear
I don't remember the difference between hope and fear
Every day is a new trick to get by
I keep piling onto the lie
Every day is a new experiment in abuse
I used to try but what's the use
Every day is its own end
I stay alive but I don't mend

[Anonymous No.19714780]

>>19714769
*I meant to try but what's the use

[Blarty Hongo !H0lVGXJNm6 No.19714807]

>>19714769

First off, let me say I recognize the effort you're putting into this poem.

Some of the rhymes leap out at the reader a little bit too strongly. Like here:

>Every day is a misstep on the staircase of youth
>I ignore that I become ever more uncouth

The rhyme between "youth" and "uncouth" is a little too deliberate. "Uncouth" was clearly chosen mostly for the rhyme; it doesn't emerge naturally.

I think the ending section of the poem is better than the beginning section, perhaps just because the lines are shorter and seem a little more metrical. I think the poem is at its best when the meter is strongest, like here:

>Every day is the same as the last
>I confuse the present, future, and past

But a couplet like this:

>Every day is my mind less clear
>I don't remember the difference between hope and fear

...could be improved if the meter were stronger. For instance:

>Every day is my mind less clear
>Forgetting the difference 'tween hope and fear

(Obviously "'tween" is cringe, but you see what I'm saying.)

[Anonymous No.19714843]

>>19714807
>let me say I recognize the effort you're putting into this poem.
Not really. The one that I first posted was the first draft that I just wrote stream of consciousness in a couple minutes. Then I went off and did some other stuff, saw the posts, and made a few quick revisions. I'm not invested in this at all. I wouldn't post anything I was in this thread.
Again mostly chosen for the rhyme, but at least it's a bit more fun, to me anyway.

Every day is a misstep on the staircase of youth
I never thought it'd be this hard, forsooth

Every day is my mind a little less clear
I forget the difference between hope and fear

[Anonymous No.19714971]

Last year I started writing a book on January 6th and finished it in 8 months. It sucked though and nobody will ever publish it.
I'm three days late but I'm going to start another book in earnest today. But what will it be?
1. Novel about a sect of creatonists and their con-man leader, with two protagonists who start off on opposite ends of the religious spectrum (one is part of the sect, the other is an atheist reporter) who over the course of the story reverse positions
2. Fantasy novel about a wizard's tower getting built with two competing pirate crews aiming to rob him blind and kill each other
3. Just give up
Thanks for reading my blog.

[Anonymous No.19715014]

>>19714971
Three sounds like a good option from what your other outlines look like.

[Anonymous No.19715218]

>>19714082
>Started a fire
Will the fire rise?

[Anonymous No.19715622]

>>19714843
If your don’t care why ahould we?

Poetry is fun because of it’s constraints. They force you into clever turns of phrase you may not have found without.

Rhyming alone is entry level poetry
You learn to hide ‘forced rhymes’ like ‘youth/uncouth’ by setting them up better or choosing better matches. It makes it sound leas grade school.
Next you learn meter. First same syllable count, then stresses (Iambic pentameter etc)
Later you can find more links between chosen words, get more playful.
Finally, you learn how to break the rules while keeping the artfulness of the piece.

The poem had potential, but if you’re committed to stay between level 1 and 2, it’ll stay there. Maybe turn it into song lyrics, music can hide many crimes in bad poetry.

[Anonymous No.19715625]

>>19714971
#1 sounds like something Palahniuk would cook up, would be pretty fun in his tone especially if it took place in the 70s with the atheist reporter traveling to a South American Jim Jones style compound

[Anonymous No.19715651]

>>19714971
#1 def has more potential. Converting creationist is *yawn*, but the idea of the atheist going deeper at the same time is pretty cool if handles well.

I can see rolling the dice like this on a short story, but for a novel you really need more commitment/motivation. Hope you get it.

[Anonymous No.19716002]

>>19715651
Potential has zero value when the person clearly has no ability to realize it. Fantasy shlock is better suited to someone like that.

[Anonymous No.19716107]

>>19716002
I don’t think there’s anything to say he ‘clearly’ can’t realize it. First, he’s finished one book already. And second, he thinks it sucks.

Imo, the worst writers on here are the ones who think their shit doesn’t stink…if he thinks it sucks, it might actually be worth a read.

[Anonymous No.19716118]

>>19716107
Fuck no
If publishers don't want it, it's not worth reading. Simple as.

[Anonymous No.19716139]

>>19716118
Then literally nothing posted here is worth reading. Anyone even thinking of trad pub isn’t going to post it.

[Anonymous No.19716228]

>>19715622
You shouldn't care. I'm just having
fun.

[Anonymous No.19716243]

>>19714971
Which of these is something that you would want to read the most? Write what you want to read.

[Anonymous No.19716304]

>>19707912
Sparkling water.

[Anonymous No.19716308]

>>19716243
So far you have two votes for #1 (creationists) and one for #3 (just give up)

[Anonymous No.19716314]

>>19716308
The compromise solution would be fantasy then. Just what the world needs, right? Another fantasy novel?

[Anonymous No.19716320]

Image to preserve formatting. Fun again. How dreadful that is.

[Anonymous No.19716364]

>>19716320
First version, best version.

[Anonymous No.19716563]

>>19714390
>>19714395
I have 16 chapters across 80k words... each chapter should stand out and be one cohesive idea IMO, so you can look back and say, "chapter 4 was such and such, chapter 12 was such and such." i hate books that have like 130 stupid little chapters where nothing happens.

most of the chapters are made up of sub-scenes that provide a stopping point for readers. idk but i'm autistic about it, i must be able to visualize all of the chapters and their contents as unique, whole ideas in themselves

[Blarty Hongo !H0lVGXJNm6 No.19717089]

>>19714843
>I'm not invested in this at all.
Then why are you asking the rest of us to spend time looking at it?

>>19714971
#1 sounds like it could easily get very heavy-handed. I vote for #4 (come up with some different concepts).

[Anonymous No.19717096]

Is there an audience for slice of life prose in the west, or is my novel about cute girl space truckers having inane conversations in an asteroid diner doomed because it'll never have an anime adaptation?

[Anonymous No.19717161]

>>19717089
>Then why are you asking the rest of us to spend time looking at it?
I'm not asking anything. Everything is of your own volition, including these replies.

[Blarty Hongo !H0lVGXJNm6 No.19717191]

>>19717161
Well, don't let me keep you from piling on the lie and falling down the stairs, I guess.

[Anonymous No.19717209]

>>19717191
I Told You About Stairs

[Anonymous No.19717286]

>>19717096
Is that what you would want to read? Write for yourself as an audience first and foremost. There's a niche for almost everything out there.

[Anonymous No.19717355]

>>19717096
I think the success of ‘The Long Way to a Cold, Angry Planet’ shows that there’s a market for cozy/slice-of-life scifi. The genre is so full of authors focusing on the tech and sweeping plots, there’s def room for a character-driven story that just happens to take place on Ganymede or w/e.

The challenge for most authors (just my guess) is building A scifi world consistent and realistic enough to not be a distraction, while also resisting the temptation to explain it all in detail. I think that’s why this is easier to to in a pre-existing universe…you can have stormtroopers shooting the shit about the price of roast porg and it’ll go over easy since the woldbuilding’s already done for you.

[Anonymous No.19717438]

>>19717355
>look up this book
>actually sounds good
Oh!
>look up author
>shaved head, from Northern California
Oh.

[Anonymous No.19717452]

>>19717438
>"SF for the Tumblr generation, a feel-good tale of non-conformity, gender fluidity, multiculturalism and unorthodox sexual relationships"

[Anonymous No.19717465]

I have crossed the ridge and unto the other side.
December 8th, 2021
(1/2)

*Sakura pedals in the evening light. No breeze. Two figures underneath an elder tree in a park near a metro station. A girl and boy. Young and foreign to the county. One seems lost in speaking, and the other won’t look up. The girl puts a hand on the boy’s crossed legs and looks into him. After a moment, he speaks something beneath his breath and she begins to cry. No wailing or change in demeanor just tears. He speaks again--, he will leave, not just from the park but from the land entire. She takes this in, and after the moment of decision, she decides she will too, but before him. They agree, and he departs with a kiss, leaving her beneath the tree in the winter air.*

He stands at the window and sees death in the light. A double-exposure of exterior imposed behind a translucent glare before him. Beyond there is movement and caustic waking as the devil beat his wife on the misting glass. Inside shows course and gray. One incandescent light reaches towards the ground, illuminating false stars in broken glass, stripped linens, ash spilling from split aluminum cans and a body mirror garnished with blackish-crimson down a reflecting face. There be all that surrounds him while he wakes early with the vibration of a church bell across the lanky square, only to stand at the window looking to the road in gradual cessation of all endeavors. This vigil bares him closer to her than he comes each day. Never at night when all is still, sitting at his table or by the window plunged in blackness with eyes shut. And in those eyes, there be cobblestone and wet sidewalks in the belly of an lowland city. Young faces on rooftops among bright asiatique characters crystallizing in neon signs. A moon guiding the surf towards entangled bodies rolling tight in sand, their lips meeting and parting over and over and over again with the fervor of religion in the ebb-tide — , as all things in dreams and in places without time.
The bell ceases.
It could happen at night, he thinks. Quick and certain as machine could provide. Then the warm gated blackness spiriting him towards where she is now. Because there is no magic in this. Nothing but the ringing of the bell ever faithful and deafening. Slow and overwhelming the clock turns over as a grim fate of conclusion, and it carry nothing but this metric fact of what awaits, and in that warm certainty something appeals within him, as it did beneath cherry blossoms in the cold.

His eyes are open.

The phone rings out beside his pistol on the chair by the window. He picks it up.

-Hey are you up? The sister said.
-Yeah. Just woke up, he said.
-I’m going to Publix. Wanted to know if you’d join me?

He thinks she doesn’t know and holds off speaking a moment.

[Anonymous No.19717475]

>>19717465
(2/2)

-I’m parked by the curb, do you want to go or not? she said.
-No, I’m busy.
- What you doing?
-I’ve got to finish this introduction for class.
-Introduction? school isn’t for three weeks.

He realized the day.

-Yeah, but I wanted to get it through with.
-Get it through? So you aren’t so jet-lagged. Good for you, I guess.

The rain subsides in silence, until the bell sounds again nearby. She pauses nearby.

-I heard something terrible today.
-You did?
-Yeah, I did. I really did.

She stutters something as he signs.

-I’m sorry, Martin.
-No. No its fine.
- She didn’t seem the kind to do this. I’m just so sorry for you.
-Really. It’ll be okay.

A flash goes through him, and he sees the body with cherry blossoms covering her chest.

-Have you spoke with her parents?
-Yeah. They called me this morning.
-Do you… Do you know exactly what happened?
-Yes.

She loses breath nearby.

-I want you to come with me Martin.
-I can’t.
-Please, just come outside.

He doesn’t respond.

- We can just sit in the car if you’d rather not go with me?
-I can t.
-You can, or I could come up to you.
-No. Not this time.
-Please, Martin. You don’t deserve to be alone.

The bell ceased.

-I won’t be.

He places the phone on the windowsill and sits on the floor by the chair. His hands cover his eyes. He can still feel the acoustic shadow of the bell, and the clouds lift for a moment torching the interior with sunbeams. Then they fold back again, and the cold sneaks back like a whisper. He sees the tree, and her face. The cherry blossoms, and the winter air brushing the leaves. Then a hand glides free and across to the side onto the chair. And he never opened his eyes.

-XXX-

[Anonymous No.19717499]

>>19717475
>>19717465
cancerous tense
mou, yamete

[Anonymous No.19717560]

What's the secret to reasonable dialogue? The only time I can get a back and forth between characters is when I parody Tarantino, and I don't like it.

[Anonymous No.19717615]

>>19716139
>Then literally nothing posted here is worth reading.
You only discover this now?

[Anonymous No.19717668]

>Man, that would be a cool idea to add to my story!
>Add it in without thinking
>Doesn't make sense early on
>Ruins the story
How do I avoid that? How do I learn how to balance my desire to add a cool idea or twist without it ruining the story's momentum?

[Anonymous No.19717728]

>>19717668
Retroactive rationalization.

[Anonymous No.19717735]

>>19717668
If it doesn't work, don't add it?

[Anonymous No.19717904]

>>19717465
>>19717475
Very good writing, if a bit purple for my taste.

You can clearly put together a strong, poetic sentence…but in my opinion they read more strongly when used at just the right time. If you whisper something meaningful, someone has to lean in to hear you better. If you always whisper, it’s just hard to follow. Again, just my opinion…maybe I’m just filtered by long sentences.

As the other anon pointed out, present tense can be challenging (both to read and write). Given the subject, it makes sense (though perhaps the first para could have been past). I assume it’s intentional for the last line to slip into past.

Are you ESL? The vocabulary is clearly extensive, but there are a few things like ‘there be a’ or the way you handle dialog.

Overall, great post! Was this for anything? Flash fic, just a writing exercise? Thanks for keepin’ the quality of /wg/ up!

[Anonymous No.19717915]

>>19707651
>no one here writes

Tell that to F Gardner

[Anonymous No.19717953]

>>19717915
it's just crabposting they do every thread. plenty of anons here have completed ms.

[Anonymous No.19718121]

>>19717668
Throw it into a notebook and use it for a short story collection later

[Anonymous No.19718337]

Okay so a short story of mine is being published in a quarterly for the first time. They asked me to supply a bio and I think I completely sperged out because I looked at some examples and found some really cringey "IN HER SPARE TIME SHE CAN BE FOUND DRINKING WAY TOO MUCH COFFEE" and decided I would make mine as modest as possible however I kind of spent the whole thing talking about my home state in a very pseudy-dreamy kind of way. Anyway if it's shit will they just ask me to write another or will they possibly cancel the whole thing once they get a look at what a faggot I am (and by the way, how much this one little publication means to me which I've disguised so far).

[Anonymous No.19718412]

>>19717904
Thanks so much anon,

I'm going to take to heart what you said about "whisper[ing] something meaningful" at the right time, and not all the time since, like you said, it can be hard to follow. I prefer long sentence that you can speak and read with a certain cadence (I read all my shit aloud for edits), but to just read I can understand how longer sentence can drain on the eyes. I need to work on that.

It is intentional, for that exact purpose. My idea is that the existence of events or characters in fiction exist when written, not before. In other words: The story you write isn’t passed in the moment the events or characters take place within the work, rather, they are being created and happenings in the present. So, I want to tell stories like moments occurring, not as if they already existed and I’m re-telling them. Because I’m not, I’m creating them. Does that make sense?

With that, I want to write as active and present as possible, until it’s time to use the past for stylistic reasons when explaining a moment that is presently happening within the story. It’s an intentional handicap, but obviously I break it for grammatical reasons and from habit. It’s just an idea I had for stories.

Nope, English is my first language (but I speak french and at one point Cantonese), I just suck dick at dialogue and change things too much within sentences to make them sound better to me spoken (Because again, I read all my stuff aloud for edits and rhythm) than written. I was home-schooled and didn’t received proper instruction in written English, so I taught myself to read and write through fantasy books mainly (Redwall,LOTR, Harry Potter, etc) and song lyrics. So, that’s an explanation for why some things aren’t correctly written. The one example you named I’ll change, just thought it sounded better and wanted to experiment.

Writing exercise (I suppose). I wanted to explain a scene had in my head of a couple who enter into a suicide pact after being forced to move away away from each-other.

Thanks so much again.

[Anonymous No.19718559]

>>19712769
It's not plagiarism if you acknowldge it in the postscript or wahtever they call it.

[Anonymous No.19718574]

>>19718337
>if it's shit will they just ask me to write another
Worse…
>will they possibly cancel the whole thing once they get a look at what a faggot I am?
Worse…

In all likelihood, they’ll publish your cringe bio verbatim. Either send them a revision (well in advance of pub date), or accept it for what it is.

That shit will be stuck on your mom’s fridge for years!

[Anonymous No.19718618]

>>19718574
Btw, this is 100% from first hand experience. Was profiled in a magazine, accidentally gave them wrong age (38, but was only 36 at the time...brain fart). See that every time I visit home.

[Anonymous No.19718639]

>>19718337
Just stop caring. You might write a piece that seems written by an anxious fag, which you'll only realize in hindsight. You can always be as boring as possible. Nobody pays attention to that shit.

[Anonymous No.19718709]

/wg/, is it normal to connect songs to your characters?

>MC's theme is Eat It by Weird Al
>roommate's theme is Birds by Imagine Dragons
>love interest's theme is Strawberry Fields Forever by the Beatles
>roommates little sister's theme is Not Afraid by Eminem

[Anonymous No.19718757]

>>19718709
I don't pick out songs specifically to be the "theme song" of characters, no. But it's human nature to connect things like that naturally.
This song makes me think of my protagonist a lot:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVKFumFUGlI

[Anonymous No.19718783]

>>19713700
>he tasted greasy blood
Are Americans really so fat that their blood is greasy?

[Anonymous No.19718802]

>>19718783
Yes

[Anonymous No.19718907]

>>19707912
Coffee or tea

[Anonymous No.19718909]

>>19718709
i told you last time you have bad taste in music and that was cringy af

[Anonymous No.19718962]

>>1970761
Which poetry anthology should I buy?
The Best Poems In The English Language
The Norton Anthology of Poetry
The Oxford Book of English Verse
The Winged Horse Anthology
The Princeton Encylopedia of Poetry And Poetics
The New Oxford Book of English Verse

[Anonymous No.19719036]

>>19718909
you must think I think awfully highly of your opinion

[Anonymous No.19719065]

>>19719036
Indeed, for you posted here twice asking it.

[Anonymous No.19719226]

Should I be using shorter sentences for action scenes? I've seen them recommended before and I can't help but feel like they do give a snappier, stronger impact, while having long drawn out sentences makes it feel so much softer and less intense, which isn't what I want at all.

[Anonymous No.19719321]

My friend screengrabbed this paragraph from my work and said the following in critique:
>These 3 paragraphs alone tell me a lot while explaining little.
>It's more like a series of events is inside the protagonist's mind and what I get is their diary--Their personal feelings about the events.
>But what actually happened to provoke those feelings remains hidden away from me.
>And the way the feelings are poured out, at least right here, don't connect me to some idea of what these events could have been.
>It feels a bit oppressive.
Is this valid critique?
What's actually wrong with these paragraphs? Seem fine to me.

[Anonymous No.19719347]

>>19719226
Action scenes are one example, but as a rule consider how the pace of your language matches the story.

If someone’s reflective, maybe the sentences are longer and more lyrical. If it’s an argument, a straightforward back-and-forth might do. If it’s action, fast works.

[Anonymous No.19719425]

>>19718709
I have a trilogy where my main characters and their villains are constantly being introduced and fighting anime-style to March of Mephisto by Kamelot.

[Anonymous No.19719436]

>>19719321
>>It's more like a series of events is inside the protagonist's mind and what I get is their diary--Their personal feelings about the events.
Very valid to the piece, it is completely "telling" and not showing/sharing why things are being felt or what it feels like in a concrete way (e.g. lump in my throat).

No idea what he meant by "oppressive" though

[Anonymous No.19719460]

>>19719321
>>These 3 paragraphs alone tell me a lot while explaining little.
Fair but I don't see the problem with that.
>>It's more like a series of events is inside the protagonist's mind and what I get is their diary--Their personal feelings about the events.
There's a whole section of literature dedicated to this exact style so, if you did that intentionally, not valid here.
>>But what actually happened to provoke those feelings remains hidden away from me.
Fill it in or read on. Maybe the author left it out on purpose for you to make it your own. If you did that intentionally, not valid again.
>>And the way the feelings are poured out, at least right here, don't connect me to some idea of what these events could have been.
See above. There is something you can say about how the ideas are presented to give an impression, but that has to be intentional too.
>>It feels a bit oppressive.
What does?

[Anonymous No.19719523]

>>19719460
They read more and got what I was going for. The protagonist is supposed to be explaining to another character what they were going through in a previous part of their life and why they never want to relive it.
Once my friend understood that they enjoyed the chapter a good bit more, it seems.

Thanks for the input.

[Anonymous No.19719863]

you don't deserve yakusoku fanart
volume 1 is somewhat edited. now i've spent the past 2 days researching and outlining for volume 2 and setting myself up for success.

[Anonymous No.19719983]

woah, hold on there, buckaroo! I ain't see no writin' goin' on in this here thread. You best put yer lead to use before I do the same with mine, partner

[Anonymous No.19719989]

reply with a 200-300 word short story. if you want.

[Anonymous No.19720029]

>>19713352
Good story

[Anonymous No.19720083]

>join online writing group months ago for company as old haunts closed by cuckdowns in area
>semi-productive due to camaraderie and healthy competition aspect of writing with others
>recently server explodes with membership
>to appeal to self-pub, "I'm going to be the next NYT bestseller with my werewolf story!!!" sensibilities, content policing upped
>weirdest and most insufferable users now mods
Is it possible to have a writing group online that doesn't get assblasted by twats? Did online writing culture really peak in 2005 on the forums?

[Anonymous No.19720090]

>>19720083
desu stopped taking you serious after
>my werewolf story.

[Anonymous No.19720097]

>>19720090
I could go the rest of my life without reading about another werewolf and probably be okay with that

[Anonymous No.19720110]

writing, writing, writing...

[Anonymous No.19720131]

>>19720110
iktf. I have a shit idea but i'm just going to go through with it. if it's shit then so be it but I want to start writing already lol.

[Anonymous No.19720143]

>>19720131
I am confident that this one sentence is better written than anything anyone else has ever written with how much i've revised it.
The rest of this, not so much. But that one sentence is a masterpiece

[Anonymous No.19720154]

>>19720090
If reading that was bad, imagine getting told to mediate your language discussing a murder scene because some 40-year-old she/they writing werewolf shifter romance writer with bestseller aspirations is a mod now.

[Anonymous No.19720168]

>>19720154
I was once told, in one of these nonsense author groups, not to use the words "a black man" when introducing a black character for the first time. They are so anti-racist that they have managed to become incredibly racist

[Anonymous No.19720171]

If I write a new chapter, is it a good idea to give a quick summary of what happened last chapter, or should I just move on and assume that the reader knows what happened?

[Anonymous No.19720180]

>>19718709
Yes because it's too mainstream. You need to delve deeper and be a complete weeb like MC's theme is Do You Remember Love from Macross

[Anonymous No.19720181]

>>19720171
Have you read a book before?
What kind of question is that?

[Anonymous No.19720189]

>>19720171
>LAST TIME ON DRAGONBALL Z
No, anon, people know what they've already read, they can just go back if they need to remember something

[Anonymous No.19720198]

>>19720154
kek

[Anonymous No.19720204]

>>19718709
i told you last time that i write my own music for them so that i can strong arm myself into having a bit of creative control when the movie and video game adaptations come around

[Anonymous No.19720212]

>>19720171
a while ago i said i found the stupidest anon on all of /lit/ but this anon has surpassed him.

[Anonymous No.19720220]

>>19720181
>>19720189
I guess summary is a bad word, more like thoughts from another character's perspective, but it gives a general gist.

i.e.
>previous chapter
Jack found a skeleton ring, and lost his arm.
>current chapter
Rick wondered if the skeleton ring was worth Jack losing his arm.

[Anonymous No.19720222]

>>19720212
how do you know I'm not the same anon?

[Anonymous No.19720233]

>>19720222
>how do you know I'm not the same anon?
>digits
by God it is the same anon. stupid-anon is back!

[Anonymous No.19720240]

I’m bored. Anyone up for a little swashbuckling? Lets have a duel

[Anonymous No.19720251]

Why am I a nobody when Hollywood can write trash?

[Anonymous No.19720257]

>>19720251
Almost everyone who says this or something like this writes worse turds than what hollywood is coming up with. Shut the fuck up and be humble

[Anonymous No.19720259]

>>19720168
To springboard off of that, how should I describe a character's race in a fantasy setting or sci-fi so far removed from Earth the characters don't even know the names of the continents? I won't lie, I'm only making the characters minorities in these situations to try to get brownie points (no pun intended) and want to avoid getting immediately cannibalized by the people I'm trying to pander to.

[Anonymous No.19720277]

>>19720257
lol imagine being unable to write better than some blue haired LGBTQ hollywood schizo.

[Anonymous No.19720289]

>>19720277
don't insult schizos like that, dude.

[Anonymous No.19720302]

>>19714395
>>19716563
Thank you both for the info, i ended up chopping it in half and chucking an different POV chapter in the middle for good measure.

[Anonymous No.19720412]

>>19719321
Your friend obviously cares about you, so that's good. I could not be bothered to unpack this boring shit. 3 paragraphs of you tell me meaninglessness shit about you, a boring faggot. I say this with love as it is a natural phase all new writers go through but you need to read more and grow up. Stop showing shit to your friends cunt because you're only looking for validation. Buckle down and write, you've got a whole decade ahead of you before you produce anything worth while.

[Anonymous No.19720421]

>>19720143
Post it

[Anonymous No.19720426]

>>19720097
>>19720143
>>19720189
oh i love blimpmaxxing. blimps and being on blimps is good for me, allowable. post blimp and maybe steampunk literature here.

[Anonymous No.19720435]

I write to sell shit stories hoping 200 out of 2 billion English speaking people in the world give me $5

[Anonymous No.19720444]

>scene happens at 2 am in the city
>actually drive out at 2 am and walk the city for research
Anyone else do this?

[Anonymous No.19720461]

>>19720444
No, I’d probably get stabbed for drug money. My city is not safe at night

[Anonymous No.19720466]

>>19720426
This was an enormous influence on me

[Anonymous No.19720481]

>>19720444
I read about people doing this and I want to try it out. depends though on where your story takes place. 2am in NY is different from 2am in a shithole euro country.

[Anonymous No.19720684]

>>19720481

Here's a passage I'm struggling to get right:


He clasped his hands and stretched them over his head until his right elbow produced a satisfying click. It was still snowing outside. He advanced across the room to his camel coat, took out the pack of Chesterfields and slammed it against the heel of his palm so a single cigarette slid out. He cranked the casement window open a few inches just below his chin and put a match to the cigarette. The first breath he sucked down deeply and then released in a smooth gray stratus that was siphoned out the window. Frothy clumps of snow tumbled through the air and clogged the hedges that ran to either side of the entryway below. Bob sucked on the cigarette again. Beneath the window there was a child fat in a bold fuchsia-colored down jacket, mittens and a turquoise hat — looking like, if she fell off a cliff, she’d bounce. This child was, with focused and calculated blows, kicking the edges off a pillow of snow that had accumulated on the raised concrete surrounding the hedge. Entering from the right, the child’s mother strode up and took the child’s wrist.

“Don’t do that, honey. Don’t kick.”

The mother was dressed in a cyan-colored coat that blazed like a blob of unmixed paint on canvas. The coat was ring-belted and had oversized, cutesy buttons and a prominent fur collar that succeeded in making the wearer look a little hunchbacked. The mother scooped up the girl and carted her away, chin-on-shoulder. Bob drew the ember a further centimeter up the cigarette.

[Anonymous No.19720687]

Here's a passage I'm struggling to get right:


He clasped his hands and stretched them over his head until his right elbow produced a satisfying click. It was still snowing outside. He advanced across the room to his camel coat, took out the pack of Chesterfields and slammed it against the heel of his palm so a single cigarette slid out. He cranked the casement window open a few inches just below his chin and put a match to the cigarette. The first breath he sucked down deeply and then released in a smooth gray stratus that was siphoned out the window. Frothy clumps of snow tumbled through the air and clogged the hedges that ran to either side of the entryway below. Bob sucked on the cigarette again. Beneath the window there was a child fat in a bold fuchsia-colored down jacket, mittens and a turquoise hat — looking like, if she fell off a cliff, she’d bounce. This child was, with focused and calculated blows, kicking the edges off a pillow of snow that had accumulated on the raised concrete surrounding the hedge. Entering from the right, the child’s mother strode up and took the child’s wrist.

“Don’t do that, honey. Don’t kick.”

The mother was dressed in a cyan-colored coat that blazed like a blob of unmixed paint on canvas. The coat was ring-belted and had oversized, cutesy buttons and a prominent fur collar that succeeded in making the wearer look a little hunchbacked. The mother scooped up the girl and carted her away, chin-on-shoulder. Bob drew the ember a further centimeter up the cigarette.

[Anonymous No.19721174]

>>19720444
Vince Hazard patrolled the deserted streets of Vapor City at 2 AM
>author plans to visit real city street at 2am
>sets alarm
>snooze
>snooze
Vince Hazard patrolled the Panera Bread of Vapor City at 8 AM

[Anonymous No.19721181]

>>19720687
>He clasped his hands and stretched them over his head until his right elbow produced a satisfying click
The detail here seems unimportant on a first read, but it might be seen as a quirky observation about what people do when stretching(?).
Everything else is slightly non-evocative until we get to:
>The mother was dressed in a cyan-coloured coat that blazed like a blob of unmixed paint on canvas.
This is quite good, well done. I also like how you finished with a nice line:
>Bob drew the ember a further centimeter up the cigarette.
I don't really know what you're building up except imagery, so take my comments with a grain of salt. Keep editing and rework it until you're happy with it, is my advice.

[Anonymous No.19721195]

>>19720687
Your writing is good, anon. Kicks my ass, at least…so take the rest with a grain of salt.

There’s a time for so-descriptive-you-can-feel-it writing, and a time for simpler move-it-along prose. You’re being so thorough at explaining this scene as a painting that i can’t tell what i should care about, his cigarette brand or the color of the woman’s parka.

A whole book of this - a short story even - would bore me to death…but you’re descriptions here are fantastic, and to be able to bust those out at the right places will make any story pop!

[Anonymous No.19721743]

>>19720435
Hey that's $1000 if you can pull that audience.

[Anonymous No.19721884]

I had no idea what to do today so I just started writing about a guy who has never had to cook trying to make spaghetti. He puts a frozen block of meat on a pan and hopes the pan will just melt it, then tries to smash the meat it with the handle of a kitchen knife when it doesn't immediately do so.
I have no idea why I'm writing this.

[Anonymous No.19721983]

>>19721884
God i miss having free time…enjoy it, anon, and don’t let guilt or procrastination take it from you.

You children may be too young to know this video (and I hope you’re too young to know how real these feels are):
>Henry’s Kitchen - How to Make Henry’s Anytime Chili for One
https://youtu.be/GFjstQ30RI8

[Anonymous No.19721989]

Is summer camp horror overdone? I want to write one but not a slasher.

[Anonymous No.19722056]

>>19721989
When someone says summer camp horror I either think hilarious parody or something campy. Is it srs litrachure or just for fun

[Anonymous No.19722157]

>>19721989
I've got to agree with >>19722056, we're long past the point of summer camp horror being common and well into it being so cliché it only exists in parody or deconstruction. You've got an uphill battle if you want to escape that.

[Anonymous No.19722246]

What is the best site to publish online?

[Anonymous No.19722254]

>>19720083
>weirdest and most insufferable users now mods
many such cases. only these kinds of people have the time and drive to make themselves lords of their only 2x2 space. instead of, you know, writing.

[Anonymous No.19722262]

Editing chapter 6 today. Should also finish reading Blood Meridian today. I made marginal notes on McCarthy's prose. It's great prose that I can learn from but don't want to imitate, as it's far more morose and discomfiting than my own voice.

[Anonymous No.19722266]

>>19722246
Depends on your audience and whether you publish serial or in whole. What's the genre and what's the publishing plan?

[Anonymous No.19722272]

>>19721174
If authors actually forced themselves to do/see the things they wrote about we’d either have much more interesting writers, or much more mundane books.

My bet is on the second outcome.

[Anonymous No.19722362]

>>19721181
>>19721195
Thanks for the feedback, both of you.

[Anonymous No.19722431]

>>19722272
yeah bro let me just buy a time machine one sec

[Anonymous No.19722463]

>>19722431
much easier to get a hold of a going into games machine

[Anonymous No.19722608]

>>19720240
*pulls out my trusty katana, Electrica, making a whirlwind of electricity and thunder around me*
"BRING IT ON!!!!!"

[Anonymous No.19722628]

>>19722608
Don't make fun of the autistic anon who needs to give every weapon a name.

[Anonymous No.19722746]

>editing my original novel
>make barely any progress
>take a break
>type out a 3k word fanfic in one sitting
Why does this happen?

[Anonymous No.19722818]

>>19722746
Because fanfic is easy and good writing is hard.

[Anonymous No.19722848]

>>19722818
The fanfic turned out better written than my original work thought.

[Anonymous No.19722861]

>>19722848
Post it pussy

[Anonymous No.19722918]

>>19722628
>idk what your talking about, it’s clear as day:
With a flash, Phil drew Drew and swung wildly at Perry. Drew fiercely bit into his un-armored arm before Perry parried with Lance. Phil thrust Drew again as Perry and Lance nimbly dodged and blocked. Perry pushed. As Lance advanced, the empty space between him and Phil was filled with a dance between Drew and Lance. Walking backward, Phil fell. On his way down he threw Drew at Perry, but it knocked harmlessly off Lance. Perry then lanced Phil with Lance.

[Anonymous No.19722932]

>>19722848
Not sure how well that speaks to your work

[Anonymous No.19722990]

>>19722932
Well, your mom told me it's a good sign last night

[Anonymous No.19723039]

>>19722990
You wrote a fanfic about my mom?

[Anonymous No.19723173]

I recorded my piece today at the radio station bros. Year of hope has commenced

[Anonymous No.19723182]

>>19722746
Youre unsure of yourself concerning your novel. This happens to every writer in the middle of a project no matter how much theyve published. Take a sober look at what to next. Clear your mind and ask simple questions and you can provide answers one step at a time. If overthinking makes you hesitate, simplify your approach.

[Anonymous No.19723188]

>>19723173
Audiobook?

[Anonymous No.19723193]

>>19723182
Thanks for responding seriously.

[Anonymous No.19723272]

>>19723188
A short piece I wrote for a local radio station that they liked and had me read today

[Anonymous No.19723652]

what about
12 zodiac children who fight to save the world for their generation in the cycle of eternal torment they must suffer to live
greater themes of meaning and suffering and evolution of state

what do you think

[Anonymous No.19723712]

>>19723652
why do people write incessantly about the same handful of shitty fantasy tropes? dont we have enough of that fucking shit?

[Anonymous No.19723718]

>>19723652
i like it, really depends on what you do with it and what it ultimately ends up being.
but its a great starting point

[Anonymous No.19723793]

>>19723652
12 kids or 13? What’s your plan for Gemini?

[Anonymous No.19723840]

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/49395/the-undying-emperor
>publish chapter 11
>scroll down in my working doc
>the next chapter is also labelled 11
>the rest of my chapters are therefore mislabeled
Well I guess I have 30 chapters instead of 29 but this will be a pain to fix

[Anonymous No.19723876]

>>19723793
idunno, i was thinking someone with a split personality in reminiscence of an author that passed away and one of his one off characters

alter ego was deadly etc
could always do something about the new 13th sign as well, something about evolution

>>19723712
it's all been done before, and it's a little one the nose but i would make it intricate to make up for the sake of simplicity

[Anonymous No.19723918]

How do I write a thriller?
More broadly, how do I write suspenseful scenes?

[Anonymous No.19723922]

>>19723652
Okay but make sure you read Story of the Vivian Girls before you write it

[Anonymous No.19723925]

>>19723876
>it's all been done before
fuck with this shit, ther'es a difference between two or three works over 300 years on a concept vs dozens of dozens of cheap gimmicky schlock rags churned out about it every year

[Anonymous No.19723930]

>>19723918
A lot of tension is built on uncertainty and unpredictability. You need to ratchet up those aspects in the scene by thoughtfully disclosing certain details/having your POV notice certain things. With a closer POV, it's much "easier" to write suspense because you're bound by the character and what they know like you are by the camera for a suspense movie.

[Anonymous No.19723959]

>>19723925
okay what about, a secret lore of crows as ancient timeless beings guiding humanity for the sake of their own self-creation and dominance of the universe and time
follows a guy who thinks hes schizo as he's made a puppet/prophet of this order of crows

or, instead of just 12 random children, reincarnated heroes...damnit.
a modern telling of the 8 immortals from chinese folkore that goes on to deal with other cultures and gods as re-apotheosised individuals who find their place again in a world without worship

my overall themes are suffering and evolution so i can always change the dumb premise.

im being serious on all accounts, looking for open criticism

[Anonymous No.19723963]

Is it even worth it to try and write fantasy anymore?

[Anonymous No.19723973]

>>19723959
damnit i just summarised american gods.
i cant fucking stop

do you have anything? im trying my best here with what i have

>>19723963
if you can make it anything like david gemmell, yes.
stories with interwoven one-off characters that tell the intricacies of human emotion hightened by sword and sorcery

[Anonymous No.19724004]

>>19723973
>>19723959
you should find a story worth writing before you sit down to write. i cant' do that for you. find one story of honesty in the world and write that.

[Anonymous No.19724014]

>>19724004
thanks dude

[Anonymous No.19724098]

>>19723959
>okay what about, a secret lore of crows as ancient timeless beings guiding humanity for the sake of their own self-creation and dominance of the universe and time follows a guy who thinks hes schizo as he's made a puppet/prophet of this order of crows
If you want to avoid cliche, find a different bird. Better still, make them cicadas instead and you’ve got something that’s both original and will get a sales boost every 17 years.

[Anonymous No.19724112]

>>19724098
yeah i could make cicadas work. you think cicadas?
i can see it already. do you think that's necessary? because of the honesty and personal tough, i chose crows.

you relaly think i should just go for the marketing aspect instead of the personal touch?
i guess j k rowling isnt exactly an orphan or witch

[Anonymous No.19724124]

Based on a fever dream i had yesterday:

You walk past your old elementary school, its a late November night. Very late. You were already walking for 30 minutes and only 2 cars passed you. You are alone at your former school, looking at the courtyard from the street. Everything is still the same, but the more you look, the more changes you notice. There are new basketball hoops installed, the janitor finally got to repainting that dark and grimy wall. You could swear that the benches used to be arranged differently. Also that dark sillouhette sitting on the bench looks pretty out of place, doesnt it? A bit of a shocker, yet he is still far enough away. That guy shouldn't be a threat, neither has he spotted you. Legs crossed, leaned back, arm on the back of the bench. Awaiting, pondering, all that in complete darkness. You move on to keep walking, step after step to continue your journey down the road, but with an eye on the silhouette. Its late, its dark, its cold, head straight, dead on, down the road. One last look back before you cross the road, while you still can. He hasnt moved. Yet you have to.

[Anonymous No.19724230]

anyone writing in the writing general today?

[Anonymous No.19724286]

>>19724112
Personally, i think cicadas are so strange and lend themselves both to the conspiratorial mindset and their deafening hum could hide a voice/message for one looking for patterns.

But that’s me.

If a crow means something to you, use that. If neither calls to you, write something else.

My approach is to write flash fic/short stories. Low commitment, good exercise, play with various ideas and styles. When i find one that calls out for a deeper story, that’s the one to develop into a novel.

Writing a novel without playing with short stories is like setting out to marry without dating first.

[Anonymous No.19724325]

>>19724230
After I fix my budget, yeah. I want to do my card story today at last.

[Anonymous No.19724343]

How can I build my world without any exposition dumps? The story takes place within one homogenous society with no outsiders so the characters giving each other a historical lesson makes no sense.

[Anonymous No.19724353]

How easily do you come up with character personalities and backstories, main character or otherwise? I find myself needing random strangers for dialogue and coming up with rather colorful characters on the spot.

[Anonymous No.19724357]

>>19724230
I need to write another ~1300 words for this chapter and then edit it all for release on wednesday because I doubled the length of another chapter a few chapters ago, smooshed two parts of the next one together leaving me with half a chapter now.

[Anonymous No.19724387]

>>19724343
anime writing cancer

[Anonymous No.19724494]

>>19724343
If it doesn’t matter for the characters then it doesn’t matter for the reader. If someone from outside comes in, you can explain it to them then (and it becomes more of a shock for the reader too)

[Anonymous No.19724530]

>reading PDF of my draft
>PDF viewer is in dark mode
>get thought
>put libreoffice background to black
>forget my text is in 4 different fucking colors for the working document so i know what is what
>can't ctrl+a and put the text white without ruining everything
>black text is now invisible
>fuck fuck fuck
>have to turn it back

[Anonymous No.19724681]

>>19723840
Get an immortal elf-scribe to do it for you.

[Anonymous No.19724958]

>>19707612
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79xx14T2sFY
any feedback on how to make my future stories better would be appreciated

[Anonymous No.19724980]

>>19724681
Good idea, I'll get right on it at the employment house

[Anonymous No.19725106]

ive been writing a few things on and off the past year, i suppose im just tripping over transitions because i know how important they are in film.

when writing, i try to string each scene end to another's beginning to make it flow better, but ive decided to drop that importance down a bit. so i want to know if it would benefit me to just write the scene as stand alone, do that for every scene, and string them together at the end for what they are needed.

i just worry that it will leave me with a lot of holes i need to fill in that could inflate my story unnecessarily or make things feel like they are jumping around or trying to catch up to its self.

what do you suggest if anything? or am i just worrying too much over something that doesnt often show as a problem?

[Anonymous No.19725126]

>>19725106
stop thinking in terms of film. go read about a dozen novels and wash your brain out.

[Anonymous No.19725149]

>>19725106
Hard to say without examples.

Transitions/parallels can be clever but also disorienting if you don’t make it clear you’re somewhere else. In a movie it’s clear in an instant the characters and place have changed, even if the action seems similar from the prior scene. In a book, it’s harder to pull off well.

Nothin’ wrong with just starting a new chapter. A gimmick is no longer fun when it distracts from the story, rather than enhance it. Use it sparingly, and when it makes the most sense (I think Cloud Atlas used parallels and transitions beautifully…but that was because it was central to the story).

[Anonymous No.19725151]

>>19725126
yeah its a bad habit of mine to think in film, its really just what im most familiar with i guess. i suppose the lack of timing and length management is in its favor for going more in depth. i just know film structure by heart more than novels.

so it really isnt as big of an issue in writings? not so much the transitions i mean, but the amount of explanation to get between one passage and another in place of what would be a transition.

[Anonymous No.19725170]

>>19725149
im not the most avid reader, adhd makes it tough so i rely on audio books which takes much longer than others to just up right read it.

so its really just "say what you need to say and then say the next you need?" without any need to care for what happened last as long as it isnt contradicting? im not so much trying to use transitions as a device, more its just the medium im familiar with and wasnt sure how to use them if at all. so if i dont have to care as much then im glad in once sense, shame something im knowledgeable on in another skill cant be 1:1 though if so.

[Anonymous No.19725278]

>>19725151
Novels, if you would care to read some, use hard scene breaks, as # or *** symbols, and chapter breaks.

[Anonymous No.19725282]

>>19725170
Don’t blame audiobooks. The issue is that you’re not reading (listening) critically. Filmmakers don’t watch movies the same way most viewers do, and authors should take the opportunity do the same when they read (or listen).

[Anonymous No.19725298]

>>19725282
the only reason ive gotten interested in writing is because of my lack of resources to do films for the stories i would be telling. so this is a fairly different medium. im not really blaming audio books but it is a case as you say where im not reading those critically for my skills, only enjoyment. but i do watch film critically.
either way now i know how to better use this medium than i did an hour ago from these confirmations.

[Anonymous No.19725303]

>>19725298
cinematography and prose are completely different devotions
man, i wish movies were never invented.

[Anonymous No.19725309]

>>19725306
Bread baked

[Anonymous No.19725312]

>>19725303
well thats pretty dumb. you dont see pencil sketch artists wishing painters never existed, or musicians.
its just art and expression.

[Anonymous No.19725322]

>>19725312
The problem is the translation between them is misconstrued. The basic fundamentals of storytelling are the same in terms of craft, plot, characters, mostly. The execution and presentation is two completely different things and new writers who have mostly watched film often try to write books like movies when they should just be writing screenplays.

[Anonymous No.19725330]

>>19725106
don't worry about it. just finish the book and read it through and if it's fine, it's fine.

read some novls including very famous ones and you'll see that they very often just jump around with no explanation or bridge.

dont' use it as an excuse to stop writing or 'block' up

[Anonymous No.19725342]

>>19725330
thanks! reading it plain out is a lot easier to process compared to others wishing 'movies were never created' lmao. so thanks.

[Anonymous No.19725356]

>>19725322
i wonder what you think of comics then.
its a matter of preferred media. if it sucks it sucks, why should you care? just look at the good that comes out and acknowledge the problems or shot comings of every medium. not everyone is able to make blockbuster or best seller content. they try and they fail and they learn. no need to be critical of an entire medium or those who enjoy it who are still learning.

[Anonymous No.19725378]

>>19718907
I unironically most excited about writing on my early morning coffee kick.

[Anonymous No.19725398]

>>19725378
>tfw banned from coffee for a week because i hit my tolerance limit from overuse and it triggered a neurological issue again
fuck

[Anonymous No.19725408]

>>19725398
thats a fear for me. drank a heavy caffine coffee and i was fucking wired and on the edge of a panic attack since i was on an empty stomach.

i even avoid sugar now, damn thing is in everything.

[Anonymous No.19725480]

>>19725398
>>19725408
Holy shit, how frail are you poeple? When I was 20 I'd be drinking 4 or 5 cups a day because it tased nice. The caffine didn't really do much for me. I had some headaches but that was it.

[Anonymous No.19725637]

>>19725480
when i was 20 i drank 4-5 pots a day, so shut the fuck up.

[Anonymous No.19725646]

>>19725637
yeah well, when I was 20 I drank 45 gallons a day, so eat my dick.