Write What's On Your Mind

[Anonymous No.19706014]

Previous: Old >>19694454

Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWN6iOFjm9U

[Anonymous No.19706018]

I am hungover and horny.

[[n.og] !XfgPwJA7M6 No.19706050]

Remember when I was eleven and some random guy on the beach called a sea anenome a sea pussy.

[Anonymous No.19706120]

>butters confirmed for footfag

[Anonymous No.19706121]

Euclidean space

[Anonymous No.19706125]

I have a date tomorrow

[Anonymous No.19706129]

I hate women. I want to fuck women all the time. I hate women. I want to fuck....I... hate....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.19706130]

>>19706014
I am coming to suspect my fetish for sexual submission in various forms (femdom, etc) was not a natural part of me, but instead a coping mechanism for my own disgust with myself. This is quite concerning, it seems very unhealthy.

[Anonymous No.19706131]

>>19706120
That’s not Butterfly.

Janitor better not delete.

[Anonymous No.19706139]

>>19706131
Sure butters.

[Anonymous No.19706190]

Good morning gents! Works like Stoner, The Anatomy of Melancholy, The Peregrine, Life and Date, and Chess story are all commonly discussed here. What are some underrated works published by NYRB that isn't discussed here too often.

[Anonymous No.19706194]

>>19706190
Life and Fate* pardon the wrong spelling

[Anonymous No.19706217]

>>19706014
CUNNY
OOOOOOOHHHHWEEEEEEEE
CUNNY CUNNY CUNNY
YUM YUM I WANT SOME CUNNYYYYYYY
CUNNY
CUNNY CUNNY
CUNNY CUNNY CUNNY
CUNNY CUNNY CUNNY CUNNY CUNNY
CUNNY CUNNY CUNNY CUNNY CUNNY CUNNY CUNNY CUNNY
YESSIR

an accurate representation of my mind

[Anonymous No.19706269]

>>19706121
non euclidean space

[Anonymous No.19706289]

>>19706014
DESPITE ALL MY RAGE IM STILL A WAGIE IN A CAGE
DESPITE ALL MY RAGE IM STILL A WAGIE IN A CAGE
DESPITE ALL MY RAGE IM STILL A WAGIE IN A CAGE

[Anonymous No.19706296]

>>19706269
Lagrange Euler Laplace

Lobachevsky Bolyai Gauss Fourier

Dirichlet

Kronecker Weierstrauss Kummer Riemann

Dedekind Cantor Sneed

[Anonymous No.19706304]

fuck me. just wrote the most important exam in my young adult life to get to a masters whose selection is mandatory and now I have to wait till whimsical teachers decide if I can have a future in STEM or not

[Anonymous No.19706312]

>>19706304
>STEM
ngmi

[Anonymous No.19706344]

>>19706304
>future in STEM

[Anonymous No.19706351]

>>19706344
>future

[Anonymous No.19706382]

>>19706296
hmm yes today i think i will do a Riemannian-Weirstrauss isomorphic transformation on the Dirichlet 4-manifold

[Anonymous No.19706391]

>>19706120
it's the same footfag who used to make half of these threads

[Anonymous No.19706394]

>>19706014
That girl is hot

[Anonymous No.19706401]

>>19706296
Minkowski Poincare Hilbert Lorentz BROUWER

[Anonymous No.19706404]

>>19706391
>>19706120
I used to think I was into feet but now I think I’m actually into legs

[Anonymous No.19706411]

>>19706401
MAXWELL

[Anonymous No.19706433]

Where are the interesting creative scenes at nowadays?

[Anonymous No.19706444]

it's not fair

[Anonymous No.19706455]

>>19706444
when they all congregate like this my mind can almost, almost see how they are just shorter, fatter men with smaller brains and all my attraction to them is an illusion that has nothing to do with them, per se, and everything to do with arbitrary lust that could just as easily be mapped onto an orangutan as a human woman, and then i would be like "holy cow look at the fine orange fur on HER!"

i can almost see that it's just a man, a bad version of a man, with different genitals. i can almost be free of this curse

but still not quite

[Anonymous No.19706500]

You are all self-absorbed cunts and that's why no one likes that

[Anonymous No.19706512]

>>19706444
heaven

[Anonymous No.19706513]

>>19706312
>>19706344
You will make it in STEM way before you’ll make it in any other field. Brainlets who can’t do math stay coping

[Anonymous No.19706526]

>>19706500
No one likes you*

[Anonymous No.19706528]

i have some strong feelings for a 13 yo girl and i'm ok with it.

[Anonymous No.19706536]

>>19706528
I'm not kys pedo

[Anonymous No.19706551]

>>19706536
I am a better influence for the people and kids around me that you will ever be, because unlike you I'm not subjugated to my desires, slave.

[Anonymous No.19706558]

I wish that 20th- and 21st century architectural theorists would stop mentioning Deleuze and Focault and Heidegger and Kant and Habermas and Wittgenstein in support of their half-baked theories, without any formal substantiation.

[the xi jinping of weed smoking !!oqyjkIO5smI No.19706567]

microwaving coffee
https://youtu.be/35z89kxQbzI

[Anonymous No.19706568]

>>19706551
I'm not either. No one gives a fuck that u have feelings for a thirteen yo girl, pedo. No one. Kys

[Anonymous No.19706575]

>>19706558
Esp Kant

[Anonymous No.19706576]

Friend told me today that he thinks i read too much and that its stunting me socially and is why I don't have a girlfriend

[Anonymous No.19706586]

>>19706576
what are you reading

[Anonymous No.19706589]

>>19706576
No, it's because ur another self-absorbed cunt

[Anonymous No.19706606]

>You will make it in STEM way before you’ll make it in any other field. Brainlets who can’t do math stay coping

[Anonymous No.19706610]

>>19706586
Nothing that out of the box, mostly just various 19th century russian lit and also a few Milan Kundera novels recently
>>19706589
probably true

[Anonymous No.19706625]

Why are the politicians in charge of minimum wage, labor concerns, etc. in America so retarded? This country is one bad day away from a communist revolution and they STILL won’t give any concessions. Raise the damn wage, encourage unionization, do something!

[Anonymous No.19706626]

>>19706610
Not probably

[Anonymous No.19706630]

>>19706568
>I'm not either
then why do you believe that something as natural and fundamental as romantic attraction is in itself immoral?

[Anonymous No.19706633]

>>19706625
We're on a one-way trip to hell at this point. Don't disturb us

[Anonymous No.19706636]

>>19706630
It's not necessarily but you have picked the wrong age, dumbass

[Anonymous No.19706661]

>>19706626
true

[Anonymous No.19706677]

>>19706636
What moral principle of yours is violated by the feeling of romantic attraction for a pubescent girl?

[Anonymous No.19706711]

>>19706513
You are right, the question is whether you can make it at all

[Anonymous No.19706718]

I shouldn't have eaten

[Anonymous No.19706789]

>>19706296
Banach Spaces

[Anonymous No.19706807]

I live in Hungary, I don't know about the rest of the world, but food costs about 30-40% more than it did a year ago. My pay hasn't changed. Having to start thinking about what I buy at the grocery store is a little unnerving to somebody used to just putting things in the cart that I want to eat.
I'm not starving or anything but I feel uneasy about the future.

[Anonymous No.19706816]

>>19706500
The self anchors reality. Everyone is self-absorbed. We're just autists that can't do something social that hides the self-absorption. I don't know how to say it in english but in spanish it literally means to hide, "disimular". I just looked up the term and it's weird how the english translation is just to hide. It means to act polite in society. Acting polite depends on cultural norms, power structures, and social grace. Speaking for myself, I "recognize" the cultural norms and power structure but lack social grace. I say "recognize" because obviously I may be wrong about them but everyone is wrong about them. Their recognition is validated by one's own social grace and I can't act with social grace. I recognize and am cognizant, I'm not entirely retarded cognizing social standings and expectations but I can't act within those things. Ironically, we also recognize the reason no one likes us, because we can't put aside our neuroticism to act as expected is social meetings.

[Anonymous No.19706818]

Can they really terminate me/"take off the schedule" for not getting the vaxx?

[Anonymous No.19706824]

>>19706807
I hope you have enough money to not be Hungary anon haha

[Anonymous No.19706826]

>>19706824
Fogd be a mocskos szádat te kurva

[Anonymous No.19706831]

>>19706807
>food costs about 30-40% more than it did a year ago
It's happening here too.
t. an EU country with more that a double digit inflation within a year

[Anonymous No.19706865]

>>19706807
How's Hungary doing these days?
Wish I could speak the language. The only thing I remember is swear words, of course.

[Anonymous No.19706869]

You know those stories where an adult man and young girl are surviving in post-apocalypse, but they form a paternal bond? Well, in reality those two would 100% have sex with each other despite what their old society thought.

[Anonymous No.19706889]

>>19706807
its happening in canada too

[Anonymous No.19706909]

>>19706869
Are you talking about Last of Us or something?

[Anonymous No.19706913]

>>19706014
I'm giving up on western life and moving to a third world shit hole to become a slum lord. I hear France is nice.

[Anonymous No.19706925]

>>19706909
I wasn't thinking about The Last of Us specifically. But, yes, Joel and Ellie would have had sex, realistically.

[Anonymous No.19706933]

>>19706865
As I mentioned, inflation is skyrocketing due to massive stimulus debt and that our government got itself. Most of the economy is now devoted to siphoning money into the pocket's of our supreme leader Orbán and his cronies. We're aligning ourselves with the Russians and the Chinese, but we are still a member of the EU and NATO leaving us in a weird position where nobody really likes us.
The whole authoritarianism thing is now well known within the European union, and politicians in developed wealthy democracies like Denmark and the Netherlands are able to use "getting our tax money back from Orbán" as a political promise, the timing of which is especially bad considering that the slow bureaucratic mechanisms of the EU have finally started a legally binding investigation into whether or not Hungary abides by the funding code of ethics of the EU, which it obviously doesn't. If the investigation concludes that we aren't following the rules, then the best case scenario is that our floundering economy loses the handouts, the worst case scenario is us getting kicked out of the Union all together.
Angela Merkel was a big ally of Orbán, because he provided cheap Hungarian labor for assembling German cars in exchange for the Germans turning a blind eye to what was going on long term. With her gone, and a comparatively left wing government coming into power, our regime loses that structural support.
We're going to have elections this spring, and the entire opposition (including but not limited to socialists, nationalists, non-fidesz conservatives and the zoomers) is working together as a united front against Fidesz, but I don't really expect anything to happen. The days are ticking down but they aren't doing any campaigning, meanwhile the Fidesz propaganda is in overdrive.
Everyone I know is daydreaming about or actively working on moving west. I appreciate you being interested in our language, and very rich poetry awaits you if you learn it (I myself am a big fan of Arany János) but the country itself is a run of the mill post-soviet shithole ruined by the greed of men and the complacent fools who let them do it.

[Anonymous No.19706940]

>>19706889
Lmfao, fucking world is ending boys. Basically work on your cardio over the next few years because its going to get ugly.

[Anonymous No.19706961]

A person who is occasionally extremely negative about one thing or another is usually negative about everything in general, and these people make the most noise, and should be trusted the least. I think this realization has saved me from worries of all sorts. This type of person is the boy who cried wolf, and somehow I've gotten so used to this person that I'm all but immune to moral panics. Not that I don't have serious feelings, but that I make sure that my worries are my own, and not a contagion from someone who is chronically indignant, worried, angry, etc. This type of person should be pitied. Generally I have imagined it is a sign of helplessness and a symptom of childhood neglect, ie, shouting, shouting, "Someone look at the bad people! Someone! Someone take care of me!"

New media is a niche product designed for these people. I notice this because I have friends on both sides of politics, at the extremes, and they regularly decry that the other is destroying the state, while really they are the only people as emotionally involved in politics, whereas everyone else I know wouldn't be caught dead getting whipped into a panic over things which don't effect them. These are the people who are grounded, those who have their concerns clearly limited to their own lives and loved ones. Again, I think the chronically negative person shows his fear, his loneliness.

[Anonymous No.19706975]

>dude don't care about the world lmao just drink with the other serfs at the tavern

[Anonymous No.19706978]

>>19706933
This is what half a century of EU-NATO-CIA GDP-worship does to a person. God forbid the fatherland fall on hard times or fail to keep up with unsustainable finance capitalism and its wealth-is-debt, debt-is-wealth ouroboros self-suckathon for five seconds, let alone extricate itself from that pyramid scheme. Nobody sees more than five feet in front of their faces anymore, everything is the "fiscal quarter." As soon as times get tough, everyone should move to some fag country with infinite wealth and queer hobos shitting themselves in public but a very "high standard of living" on paper.

Doesn't mean Fidesz or Orban don't suck shit or living in Hungary doesn't suck shit but be the change you want to see in the world instead of further contributing to a world where nothing other than this exists and The Market (as manipulated by financiers and vulture investors) must be obeyed at all times. It's not like if nationalism is correct, then switching to nationalism is instantly going to work overnight. Obviously there are generations of atrophy to shrug off, obviously there are going to be withdrawals from the surface level benefits of capitalism, like any drug.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asabiyyah

[Anonymous No.19706994]

>>19706961
You fucking suck.

[Anonymous No.19706999]

>>19706978
based

[Anonymous No.19707005]

>>19706933
Man that sounds depressing, Orbán is such a grifter. My dad lives in Budapest and always reports to me how everything sucks. Seems like this is a common sentiment. Russians are fine, but why sell out to the Chinese.

[Anonymous No.19707012]

I feel like I want to be on sort of team in the name of a wider worldview, but at the same time I find it very hard to naturally feel any sort of bond with anyone and always have an urge to have doubts on what they say, so I just end up in this weird place.

[Anonymous No.19707038]

>>19707012
>this is the conundrum of childless men

[Anonymous No.19707039]

>>19706978
>no dude! don't flee the sinking ship! sacrifice yourself trying to make it better so the captain can saw off even more wood from the hull!
no thanks

[Anonymous No.19707058]

>>19707005
>Russians
They tolerate the autocratic system and sell us natural gas
>Chinese
They tolerate the autocratic system and give us loans which can be embezzled by Orbán

[Anonymous No.19707061]

>>19707039
Yeah ? Well I hope you get mistreated in the next country you move too, parasite.

[Anonymous No.19707062]

>>19706807
It is happening all around the world, inflation is high almost everywhere.
Going to the market or thinking about the future is getting more and more depressing each time.

[Anonymous No.19707064]

>>19707039
>I want to become a gypsy in a foreign nation instead of being a citizen in my own country

[Anonymous No.19707088]

>>19707061
>taking my skills to a labor market where they are more fairly compensated and where better goods can be acquired in exchange for said labor is parasitic behavior
I have no moral obligations to the place where two people decided to have sex

[Anonymous No.19707095]

>>19706940
I’m hoping things calm soon. The Fed is taking actions to lower American inflation, which will hopefully lead to lower inflation here and in the rest of the world.

[Anonymous No.19707102]

>>19706978
The problem is not globalism or capitalism or whatever, it is decades of grift and corruption that have eroded public trust.

[Anonymous No.19707108]

>>19707095
It fucking sucks for my stocks.

[Anonymous No.19707119]

>>19706978
The living standards and wealth of the people is all that matters. As long as nationalism provides these things, nationalism will prosper. When it no longer can, nationalism will be replaced. At the end of the day anon, very few people really care about nationhood or whatnot. People want happy families, to have time to do what they love, and to be rich. Everything else is fluff.

[Anonymous No.19707126]

>>19707108
Your stocks are going to tank

[Anonymous No.19707136]

>>19707126

[Anonymous No.19707141]

>>19707108
No offense sexy but I want stocks to drop for a bit so I can get in on the action. Then they should go up

[Anonymous No.19707143]

I'm 25 and I've never gone to a bar or a club. Never even dined out with anyone who isn't related to me.

[Anonymous No.19707151]

>>19707141
>sexy
I am a phone poster please forgive me, I meant desu

[Anonymous No.19707190]

>>19707088
>I have no moral obligations to the place where two people decided to have sex
Nobody has moral obligations to anybody in the "war of all against all." If you have no moral obligations to any community or the individuals that compose it, then no state has moral obligations to you not to become tyrannical and view you as its slave or material to be manipulated at will. Neither does the state you're fleeing have any obligation to let you leave, nor does the state you're fleeing to have any reason to treat you well beyond the minimum to entice or manipulate you to profit it, and then it has no obligation to hold to any bargains unless you maintain a position of force and leverage over it.

The creation of morality is never a "rational" act, it's always a coincidentia oppositorum of two elements that logically shouldn't go together: freedom and duty. If you want to repudiate your moral Duties, you will actually give up your Freedom, because you will free the state and other communities and individuals from their duties to you. You will create a world without duty or freedom, only slavery and arbitrariness.

The free choice to do one's moral duty is the creation of a miraculous paradox, literally a miracle in the sense of a coincidentia oppositorum. It's also always the creation of a community, because all morality implies the Other and the reciprocal judgment of the Other by the Same, another miraculous paradox because it also unites two apparently logically opposed principles.

Everything is connected and reciprocally constituted. If you see the world as a playground for your caprice, you are implicitly saying you are the plaything of anyone else's caprice too. If you see the world as a moral place, even in the absence of any concrete morality, you are already in the process of creating a community worth living in and excluding or reforming the parasites and exploiters.

Classical liberalism was not laissez faire egoism, it was predicated on a community of individuals with extremely high moral character. Most democratic and republican thought throughout history has been premised on the freedom of the good citizen, not the caprice of the merely "individual." It's only modern pseudo-liberalism, "neo-liberalism," that has twisted and perverted the original ideals of liberalism to mean an atomistic hive of self-serving egoists, like Mandeville's bees. And the reasons for this are not even ideological, they are propagandistic. The people really in charge of the pyramid scheme know that increasing "freedom" for the whole pyramid sounds good, but actually increases tyranny and power concentration among the oligarchy at the top (the "iron law of oligarchy").

This creates what Samuel Francis called anarcho-tyranny, where the lower orders are maintained in Hobbes' war of all against all, but the upper classes are protected from it, leaving the lower orders in a perpetual state of dissolution and degeneration so they can never rebel.

[Anonymous No.19707213]

>>19707102
Trust emanates from good relations between the governing and the governed, and good relations are a function of good behavior by the governing. "Capitalism" (I don't mean entrepreneurship or even business, which are good things, but unrestrained wealth concentration for astroturf ideological reasons of libertarianism) creates an oligarchy that has no feeling of obligation to the people. It selects for and creates a technocrat class of parasites whose only goal is to dig themselves in deeper and make themselves more invisible to their prey.

Have you ever read Lasch's The Betrayal of Democracy and the Revolt of the Elites?

>Jefferson thought the formal features of the American system would work, and they did work till the time of general Grant but the condition of their working was that inside them there should be a de facto government composed of sincere men willing the national good. When the men of their understanding, and when the nucleus of the national mind hasn’t the moral force to translate knowledge into action I don’t believe it matters a damn what legal forms or what administrative forms there are in a government. The nation will get the staggers.
>And any means are the right means which will remagnetize the will and the knowledge.
>I think the American system de jure is probably quite good enough, if there were only 500 men with guts and the sense to USE it, or even with the capacity for answering letters, or printing a paper.
from "Jefferson and/or Mussolini"

[Anonymous No.19707235]

>>19707143
sounds based to me

[Anonymous No.19707253]

>>19707143
Im not going to lie and say you didnt miss out, but you are still young and there is plenty of time to dick around till the collapse comes, just stay healthy.

[Anonymous No.19707270]

>>19707253
>till the collapse comes
When do you think that will be? 2050 is when I think climate change will make civilization collapse.

[Anonymous No.19707346]

>>19706961
You will never be a man

[Anonymous No.19707369]

>>19707270
Yeah probably around there, it wont even be an epic collapse. Just shit conditions for most of everyone and stuff like going to restaurants and that shit wont have any importance at all, they probably will cease to exist. But yeah 2050 or whatever. give or take a couple decades.

[Anonymous No.19707374]

Stop eating fatty or kill yourself already

[Anonymous No.19707392]

>>19707369
>it wont even be an epic collapse
???
Global warming means entire cities are going underwater and countries all over the world will completely collapse. It will be extremely “epic” but in a bad way. The idea that we remain in this civilization but poorer is too optimistic.

[Anonymous No.19707433]

>>19707253
I got taken to a nice bar when I turned 21. Got pretty drunk. Some milf came up to me and had me dance. Couldn't dance for shit, the whole experience was lame. I had to piss at least 8 times that night, too.
I looked at my drunken face in the mirror, and thought, "this isn't for me. I don't like this."
The next time I went to a bar, with a buddy, I paid $8 for a drink. I saw the same fucking drink for less than $2 at the convenient store in a can, a couple years later. So fuck that. I prefer drinking alone and in moderation, or with a few friends at a house.
It all works out. Now I've got a trad girl who just turned 18, whose family I've known for years. I think I'll name my first son after a knight.

[Anonymous No.19707464]

I'm addicted to this damned website because it is the only place I can "socialize" and escape the worthless subhuman that I am and the pathetic depressive life that I have.
I need to find a way to stop this.

[Anonymous No.19707478]

>>19706014
Everyone should read this amazing essay, all the fundamental secrets of the COVID conspiracy are revealed within: https://thephilosophicalsalon.com/red-pill-or-blue-pill-variants-inflation-and-the-controlled-demolition-of-society/

[Anonymous No.19707523]

Coming here was a mistake.

[Anonymous No.19707541]

>>19707464
Install a website blocker and add 4chan to the list.

[Anonymous No.19707684]

in the garden
at the end
of history
we cant help
but feel something
has been lost

[Anonymous No.19707688]

>>19706961
You’re spot on. Most people into ‘politics’ are coping with their own shortcomings.

[Anonymous No.19707769]

I just jacked off to the video on the ukrainian girl raised by dogs.

[Anonymous No.19707806]

How does a person make important life decisions?
Up to now, I've been pursuing a TCS masters and doing a part time programming job on the side.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna drop that job, because I just can't stand how boring it is.
Eventually, I'll have to go for some job, but anything the degree will provide me with will most likely be boring.
What's the right course of action, if I'm only good at 'intellectual' stuff?
>Just go with the boredom and bear it?
>Switch fields entirely?
>Try to find something fun that's somehow tangential to my field? (like really trying hard to get into interesting research, or going for proficiency in cyber-security)
Right now, I'm just gonna finish the degree, since there's not much time left and I'm not missing out on this opportunity.

[Anonymous No.19707833]

>>19706807
Guess you're about to go...Hungary, my friend.

[Anonymous No.19707852]

>>19706826
>kurva
Does Hungrian actually have that word too?

[Anonymous No.19707855]

I need a digital illustrator for my latest project, and I can't seem to find anyone. Where do people find digital artists these days?

[Anonymous No.19707895]

>>19707806
I'd say try to bear the boredom for now and use your free time to search for something that gives you more enthusiasm
try new things, look for different jobs and lifestyles, learn new stuff, you have to reflect upon what sparkles your interest and what would you like to work with
if you find it, you will have to make a choice, either make a plan to change fields (and taking all the risks of everything going wrong) or keep boring jobs and do it as a hobby or maybe a side gig

[Anonymous No.19707907]

>>19707806
Try to make it not boring, can you listen to headphones while you work? Try to find the pleasures in what youre doing, appreciate it, people have much worse jobs than you, in morgues and mining diamonds in Africa, feel blessed for every moment, feel respect honor and joy for even being able to touch a computer

[Anonymous No.19707908]

>>19706014
I was recently revisiting the understanding, the reality really that there hasn't been a time when girls of around my generation haven't let me down, passively or actively. They don't even have to be present for it to happen! It's always been that way. I remember one time in middle school I was at home and my mom and older sister announced they were going out shopping--and boom just like that I started getting really pervy thoughts involving my sister. So that the minute they left I was up in her shit--too literally it turned out! Her room beckoned to me like a homing beacon and once there I started rummaging in her dirty laundry: the most indescribably filthiest, grossest, most beshitted knickers is all I could find. I till gag at the recollection and the grossness of it has really come to symbolize my shitty (not so grossly literal usually) luck with the "fairer sex" that I've been plagued as far back as I can remember.

[Anonymous No.19707914]

In the last couple of days, in an effort to control my propensity for projections, I've been making an effort to imagine what each of you look and live like behind your posts.
For the sake of exchange, here's a draft of myself: a tall, overweight, 25 year old man of common Iberian stock (black hair, brown eyes, long face, very white skin), posting from his father's farm in the rural outskirts of Lisbon, Portugal.
I'd be interested in reading one of yours.
>>19707769
This is an authentic post by me, the information of which is true. Some posts in other active threads are also mine, but not many. Know and note that the description previously given might match that of the author of any other post you might come upon as you browse this board, even if it is unlikely.

[Anonymous No.19707922]

>>19706014
I was recently revisiting the understanding, the reality really that there hasn't been a time when girls of around my generation haven't let me down, passively or actively. They don't even have to be present for it to happen! It's always been that way. I remember one time in middle school I was at home and my mom and older sister announced they were going out shopping--and boom just like that I started getting really pervy thoughts involving my sister. So that the minute they left I was up in her shit--too literally it turned out! Her room beckoned to me like a homing beacon and once there I started rummaging in her dirty laundry: the most indescribably filthiest, grossest, most beshitted knickers is all I could find. I still gag at the recollection and the grossness of it has really come to symbolize my shitty (not so grossly literal usually) luck with the "fairer sex," with which I've been plagued since as far back as I can remember.

[Anonymous No.19707962]

I might be an actual NPC, I find myself repeating the exact same thoughts about trivial subject everyday

[Anonymous No.19707984]

For the last 6 weeks i’ve gone to work and came home and layed in my bed in the dark. I can’t seem to break from this cycle. I have zero hobbies. I’m scared i might kill myself.

[Anonymous No.19707990]

>>19707464
I feel the same. I have zero friends irl, so I always find myself coming back to help fight off the solitude.

[Anonymous No.19707991]

>>19707922
It should be a legal requirement that every boy be raised with a girl, an either biological or adopted sister. It would do wonders for the deification of women issue many men seem to have.

[Anonymous No.19707993]

>>19707962
You need to expose your mind to various environments. Go out. Talk to people. Read. Do anything that will bring you new stimuli.

[Anonymous No.19708002]

>>19707895
>>19707907
Quite different pieces for advice, thanks for both.

[Anonymous No.19708015]

Hobbes the romantic, occasionally pragmatic, predator-cum-stuffed tiger.

[Anonymous No.19708023]

>>19707984
Stop living out the plot of every shitty french movie from the 70's.

[Anonymous No.19708029]

its crazy watching the artificial human construct of rationalism crumble in real time. we live in a post truth society where not even video/photographic proofs can be considered in any way valid evidence, period, and looking at how easy it is to plant an idea in the public consciousness and have people lapping it up (the latest examples being the kyle rittenhouse affair and politicians and the media proclaiming that the trumptard incident was literally 9/11 part two) its become apparent beyond any doubt that history its self cannot be trusted as anything more than imprints in the public consciousness that may or may not reflect reality.

in weathering this storm literally the only this we can do hold fast to our faith. we are in an age of irrationalism not because "people are dumb and irrational!!" or some such excuse people tell themselves to feel enlightened, but because it literally cannot be any other way. Faith is the only thing we have left now, and really, its all we have ever truly had

[Anonymous No.19708084]

>>19708029
Rationalism was a product of the highly civilized and literate mind. That culture doesn't exist anymore, and has been fading for 200 years, and has given way to an electronic, multicultural playground. Clearly, if there still exists today any rationalistic literati, they are not in the universities, and are there and elsewhere marginalized.

[Anonymous No.19708100]

>>19708023
>dude just get a hobby

[Anonymous No.19708109]

>>19708100
how hard is it

[Anonymous No.19708115]

>>19706304
>whimsical
did you mean to use this word?

[Anonymous No.19708121]

>>19708109
I remember I once thought just like you.

[Anonymous No.19708126]

>>19708084
Everything is faith based. Rationalism is no diff.

[Anonymous No.19708134]

>>19708121
And look at you now.

[Anonymous No.19708137]

>>19708084
rationalism has always been cope, a man made illusion to dress up our passions. in the end of the day everything comes down to our faith in what we believe is right

[Anonymous No.19708144]

>>19708134
I’m in rough shape. Glad you’re doing ok.

[Anonymous No.19708150]

>>19708126
What do you mean?

[Anonymous No.19708158]

>>19707922
Man created woman so that he could endlessly fall in love with himself and yet not think himself vain in the process.

[Anonymous No.19708179]

The Chinese shutting down a city of a million people because of 3 cases has me fucked up. My city won't even ask people to put masks on because "we have vaccines now so why worry."

But vaccines alone don't stop transmission. Vaccinated people can still catch and mutate and transmit the virus.

So which is closer to the truth? We have vaccines now so why worry? Or shut down a million person city over three positive tests?

Is liberalism just mucking itself to death so they can keep having golf tournaments or is China just being overly authoritarian?

[Anonymous No.19708185]

>>19706125
good luck man

[Anonymous No.19708193]

I finished school, what will happen to me now? I don't want to be an adult, I don't want to work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WZb20NinCs

[Anonymous No.19708198]

>>19708121
I have hobbies and it wasn't hard. So I cannot relate in any way.

[Anonymous No.19708231]

>>19706444
Imagine the smell

[Anonymous No.19708243]

>>19706014
the feeling when no girlfirend

[Anonymous No.19708248]

>>19708179
are the chinese cases from international travel?

[Anonymous No.19708285]

>>19708198
Have you ever been suicidal in your life?

[Anonymous No.19708296]

>>19708248
No idea. I'm sure China will say it was visiting American CIA officers.

[Anonymous No.19708300]

>>19708179
Well, it’s China. The West might be told it’s over three cases when it’s over three hundred thousand or something.

[Anonymous No.19708310]

>>19708296
they do get a lot of them

[Anonymous No.19708329]

Even though I have changed, and I know this for a fact, I can't help but feel I'm still the 12 year old I once was. My plans of an ideal life have changed, I've gained some new interests, I'm less lonely, and obviously I've become wiser; but despite all this, I find myself often replaying and pursuing the same, or most similar, media, memories, interests, even mindsets and trains of thought. It's as if every choice, action and reaction I've made since 12 wasn't the product of my current self, but rather the product of what 12 year old me would've done.
Many of the things I do today are, arguably, just me appeasing the 12 year old. It's not something that bothers me, but I wish I knew the root cause for this sentiment; or, furthermore, I'd like to answer the following question: had my 12th year not interfered so much in my life, as it seems to now, what kind of person would I be today?

[Anonymous No.19708330]

Dubs decide if I will break up with my gf right now. Can't keep up with her bs any longer. This is excruciating.

[Anonymous No.19708335]

I just can't believe my entire life is going to be defined by 9/11, a housing and banking crisis, Trump, and a novel Chinese flu.

Can't we get back to the part where the USA bombs bad guys and cums in their war sluts like Grampa did? This is it? We just sit around being sick and wishing the economy didn't such so bad we can't afford new GPUs?

[Anonymous No.19708348]

>>19708335
have you tried withdrawing from society

[Anonymous No.19708355]

>>19708285
yeah but then my hobbies included online games because i couldnt bear to be seen

[Anonymous No.19708376]

>>19708355
And the games helped?

[Anonymous No.19708379]

>>19708330
>he doesn’t know

[Anonymous No.19708383]

>>19708348
Yes, please send further instructions.

[Anonymous No.19708396]

>>19708376
Ive been incredibly high rated at every game ive played, so the feeling of "accomplishment" helped but really it was just a way of dodging the reasons for my misery. I only got better once I started meditating and came to an understanding of myself and what I wanted and putting forth a conscious effort to materialize it.

[Anonymous No.19708409]

>>19708396
poopoo

[Anonymous No.19708420]

>>19706014
GIVE ME A GF NOOOOOWWWW

[Anonymous No.19708444]

>>19708420
Be taller than six foot and have a good face. It works for me. Despite my horrible personality.

[Anonymous No.19708448]

>>19708409
im sure you know why youre miserable man, its hard to get out of the hole on your own but youve got to start moving eventually

[Anonymous No.19708456]

>>19708396
poopoo wasn’t me, that’s a diff anon. I’m glas you got a hobby and found some peace.

[Anonymous No.19708460]

Being killed by a group of people that includes some of your best friends, and your very best friend, must be pretty terrible. Heartbreaking. Et tu brute?

Maybe Shakespeare's interpretation and imputation of their words is in fact of lower calibre than was truly said. This was 2000 years ago, a different people, and a people who supposedly made great intellectual advances and practiced rhetoric and supposedly valued skills in oration and argumentation, and these were the people highest in the skills thereof. Maybe Shakespeare is a dumbed down version of the exchanges that actually took place. Which would be funny, because such a situation could take place today but it would be a dumbed down version of Caesars assassination.

[Anonymous No.19708471]

>>19708456
Oh, well fuck you anyway.

[Anonymous No.19708478]

Being killed by a group of people that includes some of your best friends, and your very best friend, must be pretty terrible. Heartbreaking. Et tu brute?

Maybe Shakespeare's interpretation and imputation of their words is in fact of lower calibre than was truly said. This was 2000 years ago, a different people, and a people who supposedly made great intellectual advances and practiced rhetoric and supposedly valued skills in oration and argumentation, and these were the people highest in the skills thereof. Maybe Shakespeare is a dumbed down version of the exchanges that actually took place. Which would be funny, because such if such a situation were to take place today it would be a dumbed down version of Caesars assassination as portrayed by Shakespeare, which was already a dumbed down version of the truth.

[Anonymous No.19708485]

>>19707478
Do you think we are royally fucked?

[Anonymous No.19708488]

[Anonymous No.19708497]

This vaccine supreme court shit sucks. The whole thing sucks. This whole thing has been awful. An awful two years. And it had been getting worse for a while. Materially it is okay, and it was better before even, but it's gotten worse in the way of a feeling of fear and lack of optimism and positive energy. Bad vibes. Weird, unhappy, distant vibes. Alienating vibes. Sigh.

[Anonymous No.19708507]

>>19707478
All big words with big assumptions and no compelling arguments. Pass.

[Anonymous No.19708514]

>>19708488
that's just sad

[Anonymous No.19708539]

>>19706014
My dad recently I never had a true relationship with him and now that he's gone I don't know how to feel about it the only thing I got from it was life insurance

[Anonymous No.19708543]

>>19706014
and we prayyyy
and we pray and we pray and we pray
everyday everyday everyday

[Anonymous No.19708548]

I'm sick of the bullshit... four years i wasted sipping drinks with nobodies at the bar....im not taking shit from anybody...i live for this shit... bring it the fuck on..paybacks bitch motherf--

[Anonymous No.19708574]

>>19708539
Only a lucky few have a true relationship with their father, assuming certain meanings of true related to openness and seriousness and lovingness.
You're loss and emotion are felt by many. Take comfort in that.

[Anonymous No.19708611]

>>19708574
This. Nearly everybody I know, regardless of status of life success, has dysfunctional feelings and relationships with their fathers. It was certainly a lesson I spent a long time learning, that nobody, hardly anybody has it easy. The most charming girl I know, really, has a great life, getting married, still once admitted to me that her parents were "too nice" and as a result she's become overly agreeable with people. She says they offered her so much love and support that she feels the need to show that same treatment to everybody, at cost to her, and that she feels neglected whenever people aren't warm and happy with each other. That's a big deal, as far as I'm concerned. Like, damned if you do, damned if you don't, as far as parenting.
I bitched for a long time that my mother was negligent and spiteful, but then I realized that my best friend who I bitched to the most, well his mother was secretly an alcoholic, and then she died. So that shut me up. At least it's good to sort of know where you stand with your parents, I mean like you're able to identify what kind of dysfunctional relationship you have them. Plenty of people are simply awash in the ebbs and flows of volatile resentful emotions, and I've seen these people remain slaves to their child hostilities well into their fifties. Not pretty.
Independence, in any form, is a great respite. What I see in dysfunctional parent-child relationships is the vicious cycles of rejection and then dependence.

[Anonymous No.19708635]

>>19706014
this entire website is an elaborate psyop and most of you aren't even real

[Anonymous No.19708665]

>>19708635
>im experiencing derealization and paranoid ideation from an overuse of the internet and it's 4chans fault, also psyop means "has an effect" because im prone to exaggeration as a cope for my feelings of inadequacy, again as a result of my overconsumption of internet, again, your fault not mine.

[Anonymous No.19708671]

>>19708665
i dunno wtf "depersonalization" is but you're clearly one of them so i'm not gonna sit here and argue with you

[Anonymous No.19708678]

>>19708635
>is an elaborate psyop
True
>most of you aren't even real
False. The reality is that most of us are working on the government's behalf as part of a psyop targeted at society in general. The sad part is that we are doing it for free.

[Anonymous No.19708776]

I like women but I think some degree of misogyny is good and healthy.

[Anonymous No.19708782]

i put my mirror in a different part of my room and i think has been a very smart move and has increased my confidence

[Anonymous No.19708789]

>>19708782
There’s a mirror in your room?

>>19708776
It isn’t healthy in the least little bit.

[Anonymous No.19708795]

>>19708789
Is that you, butterfly? You've stopped using your trip?

[Anonymous No.19708797]

fellas what do i have on as background noise (music preferably) while I paint for the next two hours?

[Anonymous No.19708823]

>>19708797
listen to Grouper

[Anonymous No.19708829]

>>19708795
dont encourage it

[Anonymous No.19708836]

>>19708829
How can we discourage you from posting?

[Anonymous No.19708838]

>>19708836
by killing yourself

[Anonymous No.19708841]

Does anyone know where a 60 year old lesbian like me can get a bingus and a chingus?

[Anonymous No.19708856]

>>19708485

Yes. Authoritarianism in the West is here to stay.

[Anonymous No.19708858]

>>19708471
Nice

[Anonymous No.19708868]

>>19706014
if only i'd been there those 2000 years ago and been able to follow Him in the flesh
but that's too much to ask

[Anonymous No.19708874]

I had too many Strong Zeros last night and had sex with my best friend's girlfriend.

[Anonymous No.19708883]

>>19708635
Exactly. True schizoid shut-ins, even in a lit board, would be discussing things like telepathy, but also government conspiracies of a *massive economic* nature.

[Anonymous No.19708890]

>>19708797
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-u9sKVTcVn8

[Anonymous No.19708893]

>>19708823
>oise (music preferably) while I paint for the next two hours?
>>>
> Anonymous 01/07/22(Fri)20:51:48 No.19708823▶
>>>19708797 (You)
>listen to Grouper
borrrrring

[Anonymous No.19708900]

>>19708838
Consider it done. Now never post here again.

[Anonymous No.19708908]

>>19708893
grouper's music is very exciting

[Anonymous No.19708914]

Is sex supposed to be kinda awkward?

[Anonymous No.19708915]

>>19706014
Lovely thot squat, pre-puddle.

[Anonymous No.19708918]

My dreams
Are filled with conversations
About funerals
And visits
By girl groups
Long out of fashion
And faces filled with plastic.
My dreams
Are filled with
The desire to avert
This path and choose something else.
My unconscious body screaming
About late night UFO radio talk shows
And sitting and watching the rugby with your uncles.
My dreams are fading.
Should I be worried?

[Anonymous No.19708920]

>>19708914
Usually not, it's an instinctual process.

[Anonymous No.19708929]

>>19708914
Nope it's meant to be perfect every time and if it isn't your dick is retarded

[Anonymous No.19708936]

>>19708920
>>19708929
Kill me now

[Anonymous No.19708937]

>>19708893
>borrrrring
top pleb

[Anonymous No.19708947]

I want to leave my life and myself like stepping out of a door. I don't want to be kept like a human pet in a habitat any longer. My future seems sterile, ugly, useless, a maze leading nowhere.

[Anonymous No.19708950]

>>19706014
catch me at the bottom of this bottle bitch

[v_v !!+e0M0fBMYzt No.19708971]

can i be ur friend
https://soundcloud.com/skarnerdoreboque/beatwolves160bpm

[Anonymous No.19708976]

>>19708914
like most things it is at first

[Anonymous No.19708981]

I'm like four shots in and I've already texted back my ex who's been sending me messages on and off for a year.

[Anonymous No.19708984]

>>19708914
>>19708936
It’s always awkward for beginners. That’s why it’s important for families to get their teens started early. Everything in our teens is awkward.
What really sucks is the partner that will break up with you for bad sex. They’ll say it was just a one off, but fuck that. You’re just as well without them (no matter how hot and eager you are for a second go. Fuck shallow people and this is what you get. Better luck next time)

[Anonymous No.19708985]

Anons, how do I fuck with my office for forcing me to get vaxxed? How can I sabotage the infrastructure with no traces?

[Anonymous No.19708995]

>>19708984
and we need porn for children

[Anonymous No.19708996]

>>19708985
You're stupid. Quit your job if you don't want to get vaxxed.

[Anonymous No.19709002]

>>19706014
if i'm still single after i get my shit together i'm gonna propose to my ex
i don't care if she's schizophrenic anymore, i don't care if she lies, none of that matters anymore

[Anonymous No.19709009]

>>19708995
No. No we do not. Children are not into sex. Teenagers are.
Adults shouldn’t get access to teens.

>>19708985
Is it a big pharma outside? Insurance?

[Anonymous No.19709011]

>>19709002
Just no kids. Make it fun.

[Anonymous No.19709021]

>>19709011
no kids is a given regardless of who i end up with. my mental illness alone is too much to inflict on another human being. my parents never should have reproduced

[Anonymous No.19709028]

Dreaming of
That face again
It's bright and blue
And shimmering
Grinning wide
And comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes
On my back
And tumbling
Down that hole
And back again
Rising up
And wiping the webs and the dew from my withered eye
In
Out
In
Out
A child's rhyme stuck in my head
It said that life is but a dream
I've spent so many years in question
To find I've known this all along

[Anonymous No.19709042]

>>19708914
She said she had an orgasm. Can’t really believe her.

[Anonymous No.19709050]

>>19709042
Are you so daft you couldn't notice the tell tale signs? But then who am I doubt any anon's story.

[Anonymous No.19709054]

>>19708984
excellent bait

[Anonymous No.19709081]

>>19709050
What are the signs? I wish i was joking. Like i said kill me now.

[Anonymous No.19709112]

I need to blogpost bros and may ramble a bit. I don't know if I'm actually happy or if I'm just telling myself I am. I used to be really miserable, very shy, no job and few friends. Then a year ago I developed trigeminal neuralgia which by rights should have made me extremely bitter because I'm in a lot of pain and the medication the neurologist prescribed does little. But then I started putting myself out their more, got a good job, met a lot of new people, learned how to make small talk and not act like the autist I was. I feel good about where I'm at now in life but my face literally never stops hurting, it manifests itself as a toothache that never goes away, and often radiates into my jaw accompanied with sharp pains. For the longest time I kept going to the dentist thinking something was surely wrong with my tooth but they assured me its not, I thought I was going crazy. After months of waiting I got to see a neurologist and get an MRI and learned that I am indeed not crazy. I do not tell anybody about it, not even my family, because there is no point. Its just so strange to receive compliments from people but while in pain. As far as work I actually like my job, it isn't glamourous but it makes me feel like part of a community and like people rely on me. Some days the pain is really awful but I put on a brave face and look happy, then I begin to feel happy. But am I really happy or am I fooling myself into thinking I'm happy? Maybe it's enough that I "feel" happy. Or is this facade that I'm putting up going to fall down one day and make me feel horrible. It just everything is going my way right now and I'm getting everything I want and I don't want it to end.

inb4 take your meds schizo

[Anonymous No.19709123]

>>19709112
I think your disease motivated you to make changes in your life which made you happier.

[Anonymous No.19709142]

>>19706014
No, I'll rather poison my mind with alcohol and listen to old songs than share my deepest feelings in an anonymous Mongolian throat singing forum.

[Anonymous No.19709148]

HATE BREWS IN ME SO EASYYY

[Anonymous No.19709151]

>>19706869
No shit, what is the appeal supposed to be?

[Anonymous No.19709160]

>>19709112
I think you're describing, in general, the kinda of happiness most people have, though yours may be more intense at first, because you were apparently very unhappy before.

[Anonymous No.19709162]

>>19709112
Well, first I just want to say, there was a few weeks where I needed a root canal and the pain of anything touching that nerve directly was so ungodly unbearable that I couldn't do anything. I couldn't focus. I couldn't smile. I could only wallow. That sheer amount of direct pain really opened my eyes, and I'm upset that it did. I used to work social security disability and these clients would talk about their pain and I'd shrug it off, I didn't ever really know. Just like how I used to make fun of anxious people until I had a panic attack learning to drive. It's those life experiences that truly expose you to the empathy of others and I hate that I have to experience D.A.D. (death, abandonment, divorce) personally before I could really appreciate the emotional suffering people go through, though, since then I've kind of become desensitized to it. People normally define themselves by one thing and to be someone who experienced the whole range of family drama it puts things in an even more different perspective. Anyway, enough about me.

The question I have to you is what do you define happiness as? For me I've realized that happiness is only something discovered in hindsight. the "I was happen then" situation. Like, even just now, I was drinking with a bud, and it was fun, I had a good time, we had some laughs and some deep talks, but I'm not sure I would consider myself "happy" in that instant until I'm sober tomorrow and say "boy that was a happy time". Maybe I'm just bitter and my perception of the emotional spectrum is off. I'm not sure. I just have a nagging feeling that most of our more poetic emotional states are descriptors of past states and not actual depictions of our current state. I can say "i'm miserable" but I also think miserable is more of a totality of the circumstances, which can only happen upon analysis of the whole at a later date.

[Anonymous No.19709182]

>>19709162
This would be inaccurate: happiness can (and frequently is) be an actual "live" emotion that surprises you in front of a mirror, etc, especially in the context of months of emotional fallowness.

[Anonymous No.19709185]

>>19709112
My off hand guess is that now that you are doing okay NOW you are subconsciously extrapolating and worrying about the future, which manifests as a general sense of uneasiness.

But this isn't the sort of question anyone but you can find an answer for. You'll have to sit and reflect on it youreself

[Anonymous No.19709199]

Going to try to quit this website again. Farewell, anons.

[Anonymous No.19709204]

>>19709182
So then what's wrong with me, anon? Why can't I ever acknowledge happiness as it happens?

[Anonymous No.19709226]

Haunted still
your spirit binds me
to masculine purpose
to a dream of what's to come.
I writhe my hand in sand on pointed beaches
wishing you were leaves of grass,
scratching my palms with natural tendrils,
embracing my skin in earthen desires.
But now is not the time for Whitmans.

Eros lashes out against the darkness of Necessity.
He awakens in fury when she makes the cosmos cold.
He brushes up against her in spite of the bitch,
to unfurl her brows
and soothe the cunt out of her.
He teases her forcefully
because love is an animal,
a savage beast pursuing the beautiful.

You allure me in beads of sweat,
you smile knowingly yet look away in shame,
to forget me so I must remember you.

You cursed me to be alone
so that I might become your counterpart
long after you're gone
someday
somehow
I'll be what I must
that no one else can
since no one else has opened their heart to Walt's wonderland
A modern erotic tragedy
Accursed beloved
Betrothed and forgotten
Wanting and wanton

The look that tamed the clouds and let the sun shine again
Forever gentle on my mind and
writhing in my heart

Bless you Herakles, idol of mine
Each day I question if I want
to kiss you or
be you
or just see you
yet all of the above
give me reason
to live to fight

[Anonymous No.19709260]

Merrill Lee
Merrill Lee
Merrill Lee

[Anonymous No.19709280]

there's something I wanted to do; but I kant remember what it is

[Anonymous No.19709378]

nigger moment

[Anonymous No.19709412]

I thought the anglo hate on this board was overblown but then my anglo friend told me that English poetry was singlehandedly the most influential type of poetry ever since the Greek/Roman days.

[Anonymous No.19709424]

>>19708179
Would you enjoy living in China? I certainly do not.

[Anonymous No.19709445]

>cried to my own writing again

[Anonymous No.19709449]

A year has passed since I wanted to truly end myself for the first time. I can confidently say I'm only alive because of religion. Only my mother knows and I'm not sure she believed me when I told her. I've never hurt myself but I would have jumped in the void without an ounce of hesitation if it weren't for the fear of God. A year ago, nothing would have stopped me. I had scraps to hold onto and I knew that if I continued living as I did, my future would've served no purpose. It's a bit funny, with hindsight, I think some girl (27) I talked to a year ago knew I had suicidal compulsions even though I never told anyone. I've always found it strange that she kept coming back and asking for my well-being even though I was far from being pleasant with her and there was nothing romantic between us. How come someone that was almost a stranger to me was able to figure this out when nobody else could? I wonder how she is now.
Anyways. It's been a year. I've grown as a person, not so much as a man. It's coming along, though. I can feel it. I'm working to get a job. I've never had much trouble getting girls but I've realized I needed to love myself again before loving someone else so I put relationships on hold for the moment. I talk to a lot of people and try to help but can't open up as much as I used to in the past. I think I get how extroverts fill up by being around other people now. So far, it's been pleasant. I still have intrusive thoughts but it's receding slowly. No purpose in life yet. I think I'll work 3 to 4 years in my country (France) once I finish my studies before applying for a Canadian passport. I want to see the world. Maybe build a family. I don't think I'll be a great dad, though.
Blogposting anon, over.

[Anonymous No.19709470]

>>19706312
>>19706344
>implying you can have a future outside of STEM

[Anonymous No.19709481]

>>19709470
>I'm a anti-social tranny faggot who went into computer science because all I know about is video games and computers, and I don't have the capacity for entrepreneurship due to my risk averse nature.
Thanks for telling us.

[Anonymous No.19709482]

Just put my finger in my ass for the first time

[Anonymous No.19709485]

Wow there's some trash ass writing here -- like, trashy in the sense of what someone might call the poster ,,schizophrenic''.
I just finished yesterday ,,Infinity: A Very Short Introduction'' and ,,The Golden Ticket: P, NP and the Search For the Impossible''. Still continuing a short book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and a super long, dense book on Chaos and Fractals.
(Hint: just use a procedural CBT guide [1] developed by a good doctor [2].)
[1] https://www.iwanttochangemylife.org/tools/cbt-worksheet-thought-record.pdf
[2] https://www.iwanttochangemylife.org/steven-melemis.htm
Been trying to eat better (prioritize vegetables, avoid sugars, etc.) and working out, but fuck -- going to take a while to lose ten pounds.
Started looking for work too. Anybody here also start looking for work recently?

[Anonymous No.19709486]

>>19709481
are you an entrepreneur, anon?

[Anonymous No.19709489]

>>19709482
Are you going to do it again in the future?

[Anonymous No.19709491]

>>19709481
It's okay, Anon, I also made the mistake to go into Computer Science.

[Anonymous No.19709508]

>>19706014
I speak in the mangled heap of dreams
Come join me as we sing the song
Of thotters swimming in the tepid fumes
Of bedsheets encrusted with a billion
Living Fiery shards of white bioluminescent light.

[Anonymous No.19709517]

>>19706014
I speak in the mangled heap of dreams
Come join me as we sing the song
Of thotters swimming in the tepid fumes
Of bedsheets encrusted with a billion
(Erstwhile) fiery shards of white bioluminescent light.

[Anonymous No.19709521]

>>19708868
frfr

[Anonymous No.19709552]

>>19709449
Same boat anon but I haven’t found god just yet.

[Anonymous No.19709579]

>>19706014
Nobody ever replies to my posts.

[v_v !!+e0M0fBMYzt No.19709582]

https://www.amelt.com/blog/i-want-to-develop-a-gold-refinery-where-do-i-start/
refining gold bullions in my backyard as mao intended

[Anonymous No.19709682]

the rich got a big piece of this and that
the poor got a big piece of roaches and rats
can you get to that
tell me where its at

you and your thing meet me and my thing
and me and my thing
got a very good thang

[Anonymous No.19709695]

>>19709579
Lie

[Anonymous No.19709758]

>>19707143
Hey it's alright mayne. Going out like that isn't necessarily a surefire way of making freinds or smth like that.
When I was in college, a girl from my class took me out to eat once and was REALLY flirty with me the whole time. I wasn't into her much, just wanted to befriend her, so when I told her I'm getting mixed signals, she screamed at me and we haven't spoken since.
So, uh, it's okay, try nto to stress yourself over it :)

[Anonymous No.19709768]

I worked two hours overtime and then went to the gym. Now I'm just sipping on some wine and journaling. I am a very high functioning person, but sometimes, I just need to let loose. I disowned my family, my new years resolution is to look more evil, im dating a girl that makes me feel nervous in a way I havent felt in years, and I just don't feel human anymore.

iluvbarbarians#3831 if you just want to get fuckin retarded with me before I go to bed.

[v_v !!+e0M0fBMYzt No.19709785]

[Anonymous No.19709814]

I want a family so fucking badly

[Anonymous No.19709848]

>>19709768
Get well soon, Anon

[Anonymous No.19709854]

Quit my job of 4 years about 3 months ago. I planned to take a few months off and start looking at prospective companies in Jan. but I haven’t yet. A lot of my old issues started popping up after being a shut-in for just a few months. Drinking again, weed, opiates, anxious and depressed, locked to my computer or e-reader, gaining weight and getting pale. It’s insane how fast a life I thought I left behind came back at the first opportunity like a fucking parasite just waiting for a moment of weakness. I feel a gap of a lifetime between the person I was a few months ago and the person I am today. All my confidence just evaporated and I hate knowing I have a huge mountain to climb just to get back to slaving away 12 hours a day, and then realizing it sucks just as much as this does. I hate this era we live in a lot, I should’ve died in a war or something.

[Anonymous No.19709866]

>>19709482
Based

[Anonymous No.19709885]

>>19709854
I hear you anon, almost exactly the same story here. We'll be OK.

[Anonymous No.19709986]

Beer, bourbon, scotch or wine
What’s your drink?

[Anonymous No.19710001]

>>19708971
not if that's what you listen to. Christ what absolute garbage

[Anonymous No.19710016]

>>19709986
beer or spirits

[Anonymous No.19710029]

I am just a body.

[Anonymous No.19710037]

"Empowerment" just means dopamine and more access to dopamine.

[Anonymous No.19710060]

The Thousand Armed Buddha - To Be In Many Places Simultaneously.

First, there is the soul, a substantial unity with the ability to know self-referentially. Then there are the attributes of awareness - bliss, radiance, spaciousness and intensity.

So, it looks like a monad imprinted with knowledge, what it knows is that it knows a.k.a. possesses self-knowing. The bliss is the intrinsic harmony of the awareness(awareness contained within soul, and the awareness applies to soul)Then there is some concept of the space the awareness occupies.
The radiance is the perpetual onward motion of the awareness. The intensity is how magnified the awareness of the bliss is, up to a maxima.
Awareness can also be made expansive, or reflect upon itself, multiplying itself inwardly exponentially.

Now to the thousand faced awakened one.
1.) There is an objective metric space used, a background measure of all things.
2.) Just as we can increase the amount of self-awareness within the soul (i.e. expansion) by adding interior ideas of awareness to the souls infrastructure, we could add multiple concepts of space to a single soul.
3.) We can multiply the soul's relative center, and spread these out as much as we'd like, up to a single infinite distance across the objective metric space.
4.) Now across an infinite plane, many locus of awareness branch out non-locally and loop around one another.
5.) In a virtual simulation you can be in many places at the same time.

With man this is impossible, With God all things are possible.

[Anonymous No.19710109]

I cant quit soda and energy drink addiction.

[Anonymous No.19710154]

My heart was broke 4 years ago.

Still no progress.

[Anonymous No.19710181]

>>19710154
confess and be absolved

[Anonymous No.19710268]

>>19710154
7 years for me. Doesn’t hurt anymore, I don’t feel much when I think about her, but it’s still like a hole in my soul that I know will never grow back or be filled. I think this is a specifically male thing…women really aren’t built like us, they don’t feel love or loss like us and they recover quickly from these things, especially because they seldom love a man for everything that makes him who he is (like we often do with them) so much as the superficial things he offers her or even something as petty as how women feel about him being with her. It’s a curse when you consider that women will shatter a heart at the drop of the hat, the moment their fairytale idea of what a relationship should be fades, even minutely.

The femoid black pill is one I’ll remember for the rest of my life…and yet, still, want nothing more than the warm embrace of a woman I’d die for in a heartbeat. I hate my biological urges. I no longer try though, so it’s in unlikely to happen at least

[Anonymous No.19710275]

>>19710181
confess to what lol.

[Anonymous No.19710305]

>>19710275
ngmi

[Anonymous No.19710315]

>>19710268
For me its more like I will never feel that level of all consuming intensity toward anyone else again. It's like I only had one round in the chamber as far as that sort of emotional experience goes and I used it.

This was so long ago (high school) that we have become different people and I don't even want to get back together. Its more that anyone I partner with now the experience is more distant, intellectual even, the train of thought is now "okay, their personality and looks are pleasant enough, the children will not be retarded if we have any, I guess I could do this" rather than something guided by passion.

[Anonymous No.19710356]

>>19710181
Sure thing, boss, I'll CONFESS.

I tell you truly... m'lord... I wen't to the library and made the screensaver on all the computers a HORRID picture of Wyndham Lewis... and scrawled Rimbaud's NIGGER poem into all of the (12) books on poetry there.
TRULY EVIL! EVIL! EVIL!

IM A SINNER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

[Anonymous No.19710363]

>>19710181
next thing i know you'll be telling me to go see a psychiatrist, lol

[Anonymous No.19710377]

My new guilty pleasure: Kanye West, particularly listening to BLK SKNNNHEAD while browsing /lit/

Also, really like RiRigal, niggers in Paris, etc.

I only listen to him for the pop side of things, really like Timbaland too. Good schizo shit honestly, can't really describe why i like it besides that i just do lol. The Satanism goes hard, I'm truly an admirer of hollyweird, love the idea of jonah hill being tortured, raped, etc, and blackmailed to gain over 80 pounds biannually, JUST after he got fit again!

[Anonymous No.19710388]

>>19710377
Yes. I too remember The Key of Awesome.

All in the name, brother. Truly a gnostic evidence.

[Anonymous No.19710459]

>>19707433
Sounds nice man but you shouldn’t name the mother of your child a trad girl.

[Anonymous No.19710465]

>>19708193
Learn and grow through the suffering of adult life and you will come out the other side a wiser and stronger person. Plus it does get easier if you just commit to it.

[Anonymous No.19710484]

>>19708635
Yes! You and only you, anon, are the new messiah to guide us lowly npc’s nonentities into a new utopian age of eternal bliss and everlasting peace. Go forth and eject your opinions on this image board in the hopes that this will put a stop to the tyranny that is the breakaway government!

[Anonymous No.19710489]

>>19708893
Homer Simpson level iq

[Anonymous No.19710493]

>>19708985
Kill yourself during work hours

[Anonymous No.19710506]

>>19709768
Remember that everything you know about yourself is transitory bro.

[Anonymous No.19710514]

Writing attracts the worst people.

[Anonymous No.19710551]

>>19709814
Not gonna happen

[Anonymous No.19710599]

>>19708874
Care to elaborate?

[Anonymous No.19710661]

What poetry book do you guys recommend?

[Anonymous No.19710713]

books that describe this sort of relationship?

[Anonymous No.19710748]

>>19710661
I don't read a lot of poetry but I have a collection of john ashbery I would recommend

[Anonymous No.19710755]

>>19708488
based kid

[Anonymous No.19710769]

>>19708635
famously there are only two people on the internet, (You) and a korean 12 year old with ADHD

[Anonymous No.19710775]

>>19708797
loop this
https://looptube.io/?videoId=udcmBrdeQH4&start=0&end=1903&rate=1

[Anonymous No.19710792]

>>19709050
>>19709081
they're not always obvious at all

[Anonymous No.19710800]

Rekao sam majci sve što mi na umu. Da patološki imam strah da pokazujem šta me interesuje njima, da mislim da sam protraćio mladost, da se osećam zarobljen u ovaj naš dvosobni stan sa šestoro ljudi u kući. Kao Rastku Nemanjiću, pao mi je kamen sa srca kada sam podigao mač. Plakao sam. Teško mi je bilo reći šta sam imao na duši. Oslobodio sam se. Bože oprosti za sve što još skrivam i što ću skrivati.
I am free

[Anonymous No.19710816]

>>19710661
Ernest Dowson

Before my light goes out for ever if God should
give me a choice of graces,
I would not reck of length of days, nor crave
for things to be;
But cry: “One day of the great lost days, one face
of all the faces,
Grant me to see and touch once more and
nothing more to see.

“For, Lord, I was free of all Thy flowers, but I
chose the world’s sad roses,
And that is why my feet are torn and mine eyes
are blind with sweat,
But at Thy terrible judgment-seat, when this my
tired life closes,
I am ready to reap whereof I sowed, and pay my
righteous debt.

“But once before the sand is run and the silver
thread is broken,
Give me a grace and cast aside the veil of
dolorous years,
Grant me one hour of all mine hours, and let me
see for a token
Her pure and pitiful eyes shine out, and bathe
her feet with tears.”

Her pitiful hands should calm, and her hair stream
down and blind me,
Out of the sight of night, and out of the reach of
fear,
And her eyes should be my light whilst the sun
went out behind me,
And the viols in her voice be the last sound in
mine ear.

Before the ruining waters fall and my life be carried
under,
And Thine anger cleave me through as a child
cuts down a flower,
I will praise Thee, Lord, in Hell, while my limbs
are racked asunder,
For the last sad sight of her face and the little
grace of an hour.

[Anonymous No.19710846]

I'm considering a move to Austin to TX and am wondering if it's worth the ludicrous rent to live downtown or if it's better to live a bit further out and just drive when needed. Also how far out could you live and still get to downtown easily enough? But I know none of this will solve my unhappiness.

[Anonymous No.19710960]

I have to write an essay,
After 100 words i forget what i want to say and achieve my final brainlet form.
wtf do i do.

[Anonymous No.19710973]

>>19710846
The ellipse of that glass is upsettingly wrong

[Anonymous No.19711006]

>>19710960
Sketch it out first

[Anonymous No.19711161]

I am my worst enemy, I either acted as a coward and didn't even tried because I was afraid or I failed every single thing I tried and it was all my fault. All of it.
I hate myself and I realized that it is to the point of unconsciously sabotaging my life and screwing everything. I want to swallow a grenade and just explode once and for all or set myself on fire.

[Anonymous No.19711207]

>>19711161
I feel the very same.

[Anonymous No.19711223]

>>19709814
Work to build one and see how it goes

[Anonymous No.19711239]

>>19711161
You will explode one day. Have courage

[Anonymous No.19711323]

Moving back home with the parent is one of the single biggest mistakes I’ve ever made.

[Anonymous No.19711342]

The choices I’ve made and the ambitions I have are irreconcilable. I should kill myself without delay.

[Anonymous No.19711380]

>>19706129
there may be a correlation there

[Anonymous No.19711388]

>>19710748
>>19710816
Thanks Guys

[Anonymous No.19711390]

>>19711323
I've moved in with parents 5 years ago...

[Anonymous No.19711391]

>>19706217
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hesychasm#Katharsis_(purification)

[Anonymous No.19711410]

Next thread.

>>19711401
>>19711401

An anonymous from Kazakhstan first alerted me to the unrest there. I wonder how he’s doing.

[Anonymous No.19711421]

>>19706018
I typically jerk off like 5 times the day after drinking

[Anonymous No.19711436]

>>19711390
And are you happy with that?

[Anonymous No.19711443]

>>19711436
Fuck no.

[Anonymous No.19711448]

>>19710275
Extramarital sex. Perhaps you understand that dogma isn't arbitrary now.

[Anonymous No.19711474]

>>19710356
imagine what it would be like to consider those words unironically

[Anonymous No.19711576]

>>19711443
Why did you do it?

[Anonymous No.19711597]

>>19710356
What’s evil about Wyndham Lewis?

[Anonymous No.19711601]

>>19711576
Because I'm a fucking loser with severe neurosis.

[Anonymous No.19711967]

I really want to improve my life, but I also really want to kill myself. I try to mount the effort to actually get up and do stuff, but the idea of suicide always feels so much easier (and this is actually something I could do, I have a gun). I had a friend who felt like I did, but he struggled with addiction send eventually died as a result. He was the only person that I could say this to in person. I have other friends, and I'm sure my brother and father would want to help me, but I feel like I can't talk to anyone else. My other friend who is in prison has told me to be more spontaneous. So, I'm going to a party with my brother later if I can tickets. I don't really want to kill myself, but changing my life feels like... I don't even know. Not impossible, but my brain always defaults to "just kill yourself". I don't want to waste my life, but I don't see myself overcoming my obstacles. All I have to do is try, but that's the hardest thing ever. What would any of you do?

[Anonymous No.19712057]

>>19706500
How do I stop being a self absorbed cunt? I honestly don't know what move I could make that would change it, especially if I'm just making it to excavate myself from self absorbed cuntery.

[Anonymous No.19712074]

>>19711967
What does improving or changing your life look like to you?

[Anonymous No.19712080]

>>19710846
ask /trv/

[Anonymous No.19712107]

>>19712074
Gaining some sort of skill. Preferably one that cam be made into a career. I wasted the years of 18-25 (currently 25) and have nothing to show for it. Others my age are beginning to reap the benefits of not wasting this time, and I don't really know what to do. I was an electrical apprentice for a while, but I didn't know that you actually had to *try* and pay attention. I always skated by and, at my first job, which was retail, I did very little work. Finding out that you can't just skate was quite the shock. And I'm not even mad at that or anything. I get why you can't just not try, but now I don't really know what to try with/on.

[Anonymous No.19712124]

This energy drink and soda addiction is pretty bad. I cant kick it.

[Anonymous No.19712176]

>>19711601
Is that really true?

[Anonymous No.19712192]

>>19712107
Why don’t you pursue electrical again and try this time, if that’s what you want?

[Anonymous No.19712252]

>>19712176
Yes its true. Why it shouldnt be?