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/lit/ - Literature

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File: 656 KB, 2135x2213, vacuum.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1935516 No.1935516 [Reply] [Original]

Hey /lit/, I am looking for some constructive criticism on my comic here. Specifically, do you think I have to make the gag more obvious?

I know this is not the comic board but I ask this here because you guys are the most intellectual.

>> No.1935526

>you guys are the most intellectual

Trust me, this board's collective intelligence matches
that of YouTube.

Anyway, the gag is pretty obvious.

>> No.1935525
File: 39 KB, 255x325, TheFarSide..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1935525

>> No.1935534

>>1935526
>Collective intelligence
>Thinking an imageboard is a hivemind
Just puss off you sad attention seeking dog fucker.

>> No.1935538

I don't get it. Is the vacuum supposed to arouse him? Is this what you're saying about capitilism?

I didn't laugh anyway.

>> No.1935539

>>1935525
I love Gary Larson

>>1935526
that may be true. but I think lit is probably a bit smarter than the rest of fourchan.

Anyways, I showed this to my friend and he didn't get it. So I just wanna get some sort of consensus.

>> No.1935543

>>1935534
You're just jealous because you know I have a better personality than you.

Fuck off and die, fag.

>> No.1935545

How Kafkaesque

>> No.1935550

>>1935538
It's like it's a vacuum cleaner and the character it's going to clean up or do away with the vacuum of meaning, or the void, or whatever you want to call it. But then ofcourse it doesn't work because it's just a vacuum cleaner. Thus "only cold indifference"

>> No.1935551

Yes, Yes you do. Also you might want to draw the comic in a way that makes it more clear exactly what he's doing.

>> No.1935556

The inevitable dense prole here. I don't get it.

>> No.1935559

>>1935551
you can't see that it is a person and a vacuum cleaner? you trollan? I am no artist anyways so that's not gonna happen.

I fully acknowledge that some people aren't going to get it. But I can't just dumb myself down to be accessible to everyone. That would be no fun.

>> No.1935563

>>1935550
oy

i thought the vacuum cleaner was supposed to be sucking his dick

>> No.1935567

>>1935563

hahahahaha snap!

You need moar genitalia, OP.

>> No.1935579

>>1935556
see
>>1935550

>>1935563
I don't understand how you could think this. Where do you see a penis in the comic?

>> No.1935584

>>1935579

vacuum cleaners and men will always stir sexual thoughts.

Plus in the third frame he's looking down at what I presumed was his flaccid penis.

>> No.1935587

this is a new yorker cartoon. self-satisfied 'highbrow' observations that don't elicit anything but polite nods from the elitists they're aimed at, whether the reader gets it or not.


tl;dr - make it dick related and giggles will follow

>> No.1935593

I am laughing so hard at this thread, I don't know whether this is the universal curse of the amateur gag cartoonist or if OP and 13-year-old me are just the two people with the least ability to convey a weird joke in the history of art made by humans

>> No.1935592

>>1935584
yes I think I ought to make him look up or something instead. Thanks!

>> No.1935599

>>1935584

He also looks away in the second frame like he's being coy or something.

>> No.1935606

his invisible girlfriend isn't going to reward him with oral pleasures just because he signaled that she doesn't have to keep doing the cleaning-up

>> No.1935612
File: 28 KB, 300x300, 128309.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1935612

>>1935587
You're right, it might be called elitist, but that's really only because in this time and place anyone posturing as an intellectual is an elitist. But I think newyorker cartoons are a lot of the time not meant to be ha ha funny. And they're not even as excessively intellectual or high brow as people seem to give them credit for. They the odd genuinely funny comic though, pic related.

>> No.1935651
File: 658 KB, 2135x2213, vacuum.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1935651

Okay guys, I made him look to the side instead of down. I was gonna give him bags under his eyes as recommended by a friend by it looked really weird when I drew them

>> No.1935657

>>1935651
I'm still getting "guy in a sexual relationship with a vacuum cleaner" vibes and I doubt if you're gonna be able to change that tbh

>> No.1935671

>>1935657
dammit. I guess vacuum cleans just have that significance to some people.

>> No.1935690

why not make a good ol' My Bloody Valentine joke?

>> No.1935698

>>1935690
haha didn't even think of that. I guess vacuum cleaners don't always recall dicks.

>> No.1935700

>>1935516
I get it. I agree with it as well. I liked it a lot. Good job.

>> No.1935736

What do you guys think of my other comic? The drawing sucks because I hadn't adjusted the settings on my pen when I drew it.

>> No.1935741

>>1935690
like how their music sounds like a vacuum cleaner? That would make me laugh and i love that band. then again i love the sound of vacuum cleaners so...

>> No.1935742
File: 422 KB, 2180x2356, freud .jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1935742

>>1935736

>> No.1935749

You know what would make it funny, OP?

It needs a title. I suggest:

GREAT MOMENTS IN POST-MARXIST DISCOURSE, NUMBER 448: SLAVOJ ZIZEK AND YAKOV SMIRNOFF IN CONVERSATION

be sure to do the proper diacritical marks on "zizek" which i'm too lazy to put in

>> No.1935760

>>1935749
I genuinely lol'd

>> No.1935766

>>1935742
you are what happens when somebody tries to fix their kid's autism with a homebrew cure consisting of heavy exposure to old cracked magazines

>> No.1935771

>>1935766
I have no fucking idea what you mean by that. Care to elaborate?

>> No.1935773

>>1935771
I can't just dumb myself down to be accessible to everyone. That would be no fun.

>> No.1935778

>>1935773

holy shit! zizek is posting in this thread!

>> No.1935780

>mfw I don't understand any of this

Back to my plebeian blissful ignorance, I guess.

>> No.1935781

>>1935773
oh i get it now

>> No.1935788

>>1935773
>>1935766
I don't really know if that's a relevant criticism. I mean maybe insofar as the first comic is concerned, but if you don't get the second on about Freud you are culturally illiterate.

>> No.1935795

>>1935788
I get the second one. It's just not funny

>> No.1935797

>>1935516
i don't get it.

>> No.1935799

>>1935795
> he doesn't get it

>> No.1935951

WHEN DOES SOMEONE GET OUT A WACKY OVERSIZED MALLET AND HIT SOMEONE ON THE HEAD WITH IT JUST WHAT KIND OF COMICS ARE THESE

>> No.1936848
File: 119 KB, 700x688, troll.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1936848

meanwhile, at OP's house...

>> No.1936863

>>1935550
really? I thought the guy bought the vacuum cleaner because capitalism preaches that owning things makes you happy. However, the vacuum cleaner was unable to make him happy, as it is just a vacuum cleaner.

>> No.1936874

I think I understand this.

In panels 1 and 2 the machine says "SUCK SUCK OFF" because the man thinks this machine is going to suck him off. And he will therefore feel hot desire.

He looks at his penis after the machine has "sucked" him "off". He feels no desire. The sexual promise of the machine is a cheat.

>> No.1936880

>>1935539
>/lit/
>smarter than /sci/
lolno

>> No.1936878

>>1936863
I thought the same thing.

Fairly amusing, OP.

>> No.1936883
File: 88 KB, 300x263, 1282985046912.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1936883

>>1935742
lol'd

>> No.1936894

>>1935651

OP the original is fine. Not having his head hang down in brief despair ruins the thing.

>> No.1936900

>>1935525

I don't get this one.

>> No.1936918

Not really very funny. I do like existential jokes though.

>> No.1936943
File: 47 KB, 1168x702, nofun.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1936943

superior

>> No.1936948

>>1936943
I chuckled. Who the hell makes plans to go out two weeks in advance though?

>> No.1936953

>>1936948
read it again

>> No.1936955

>>1936953
I refuse.

>> No.1937009

>>1936953
read it. still not funny.

>> No.1937027

Why is the bottom text in quotations?

>> No.1937031

>>1937027
"No meat-touching, ma'am!"

>> No.1937048

For the longest time I supposed I did not understand it, doubted severely my intelligence, & felt miserable for my middling mind, till I realized it simply wasn't funny, or even amusing.

>> No.1937113

>>1935563
I thought he was trying to use it like a penis pump in hopes of enlarging himself. Fuck

>> No.1937133

>>1935749
I heartily agree with this post OP, this would make the comic much funnier and still in the same vein as what you want.

Your second comic is also funny.

>> No.1937143

Let's talk about humor. There are lots of theories on what makes a joke funny or unfunny, but a common theory is that humor derives from incongruity - conflict or unexpected contrast. Additionally, the incongruity cannot be too mentally challenging, as this would make the joke a thought-puzzle, and the incongruity must be relatable, but not so relatable that the scenario becomes tragic.

The joke in the OP's comic is not funny for two reasons: the incongruity is not obvious (the character is trying to derive happiness from material goods, but it takes two read-throughs for most people to grasp this), and the concept is too abstract to relate to on a personal level (sure, the scenario is tragic, but it's not a day-to-day thought or problem).

It sounds like I'm over-analyzing, but I thought you might prefer something more substantial than, "it's not funny".