&amp October

[Anonymous No.19250502]

did anyone else submit something spooky?
or did you guys just submit stale copypasta like me?

[Anonymous No.19250548]

>>19250502
psyched

[Anonymous No.19250561]

ill submit in a week. save three pages for me

[Anonymous No.19250652]

>>19250502
when are the submissions due?

[Anonymous No.19250738]

>>19250652
rn; how many words you got anon?

[Anonymous No.19250769]

>>19250738
no kidding? prussia, is that you?

[Anonymous No.19250790]

I wanna submit some poems, but they're not Halloweenie at all. Should I still do it?

[Anonymous No.19250871]

>>19250738
>>19250769
fucking answer me nigga

[Anonymous No.19251199]

>>19250790
Yes still do
>>19250871
I’m lying you have time but I just want you to hurry up and submit senpai

[Anonymous No.19251241]

>>19251199
the wildfires didn't screw with your head too hard, i hope

[Misogelastus No.19251664]

Put this in your next issue (Also, do you have an inhouse editor or do I have to edit this myself? I won't, just asking.):
A PERSONAL DECLARATION AGAINST THE SIN OF LAUGHTER; or, ON MY AWAKENING TO THE AGELASTIAN VISION
by Misogelastus

The people of the world worship a false god, and that god is laughter; reflect on the doctrines of the day: "Live, Laugh, Love", "Laughter is the best medicines", and "A day without laughter is a day wasted" (a Charlie Chaplin quote).
Observe how all these sayings are obliterated, and became meaningless, as castle built upon sand, when we inspect them closer:
"Live, Laugh, Love" is widely understood to be one of the more insipid maxims of our age, and yet it is as if the whole world believes in it; We must live because it is our prime objective, and we must love to keep healthy relations and to leave progeny, but what is it we must laugh for? Laughing is not necessary to either endeavour, despite what is often said, and it does not help us in our work or teach us some great truth about the world. It is neither beautiful nor invigorating, it is nothing but idle fancy masquerading as every great virtue that man can wish to have.
Laughter is the best medicine? no, medicine is the best medicine, and I add that laughter can only be poison, or rather a result of poison as muscular paralysis is to hemlock, and a sign of perverse delusion wherever it occurs, and of moral failing in any society that encourages it.
"A day [...] wasted" he says, but has laughter ever encouraged productivity? if we were to do a cost benefit analysis, would our arithmetic show that laughter is a reasonable exercise, as we might say running is? or if we were to compare societies that do not laugh (or for that matter, societies that laugh less) to societies that do laugh (or for that matter, societies that laugh more relative to the former), would we find an increase in productivity in the philogelastic society's favour or would we find an increase in productivity to the agelastic society's favour? It seems to me that the answer to both of these questions are obvious. Everywhere and always, humour has been anathema to productivity, and it always discourages people from working; but if perhaps by "wasted", Chaplin does not mean "a loss in production that cannot be recovered due to the passing of time" then I ask you what does he mean? as I have already stated, humour is not a virtue, so unlike learning it cannot be said to be a good use of one's precious time. This erroneous claim is to be expected from Chaplin however, he is a liar, a demon, a high priest of the cult of comedy, and a revered anti-saint of that creed.

[Misogelastus No.19251668]

>>19251664
All men bow at the altar of the cult-of-comedy, a creed whose effects are as pervasive as they are perverse, and sing praise to it's god at every hour. It's as if we were all intoxicated by gin and hopelessly addicted to that spirit, though better it were a gin, for then at least we would not be caught in such an eternal gin craze as this, as the evil of effects of the blight would be more clear, and those who promote it would be seen for the low-lives they are, the lives of those who indulge in it would be cut short, and society would recognise it's most serious responsibility to combating this grave evil.
I know how I may sound to you, the adherent of the cult of comedy,―yet, I do not blame you, for how could you have suspected that from your very birth you were lied to?―you ask, innocently, "How can a man be of such a belief?". I tell you now, and you must believe me, that I have never sincerely laughed in my life; that whenever I have laughed it was by a social coercion, and that the laughter was really a fiat on my behalf. My mother tells me that it has been this way since I was a baby, and I was a queer child she says, for I had never laughed nor ever cried, but was always right peaceful; she claims to have always known when to feed me but she also admits to some suspicion of inadvertantly letting me go hungry on occasion, though of course I never protested either way―mummy has always been very diligent and caring however so I do quite honestly doubt this to be the case and must attribute this very likely false admission to her dreadful humility, but at any rate, I am here to tell the tale. Mummy also tells me that she could, even then, sense my natural seriousness and even brilliance but I shall not go on about my life, this is not a biography; all this is to illustrate my natural inclination away from folly and towards seriousness. I was not radicalised until later, much later in fact. The reader, wherever he is reading this from, should know that I was, in fact, radicalised on /lit/, and it is on /lit/ where I (shall have) first posted this (footnote: /lit/ for those who do not know is the literature board for 4chan's sister website 4channel; the two use to be one in 4chan but they were split, and 4channel is the hub of safe for work content focused more on interest and hobbies, whereas 4channel is the hub of edgier not safe for work content focusing more on the sort of things 4chan is known for as well as pornography, though the content of 4channel is still hosted on 4chan in a way.).

[Misogelastus No.19251671]

>>19251664
>>19251668
It happened this way: I had made a thread incidentally reflecting on the faggotyness of laughing, humour, and comedy, and the ridiculousness that is inherent to hearing something and reacting like one is in the process of dying because of it―it is not a coincidence that people say "I'm dying" or "I'm dead" when they hear something funny―and as I say, incidently, as I only made the thread in the first place to seek out a book that showed how truly Reddit comedy, humour, and laughing was; bloody hell, was I not ready for how zealous the laugh-fags of /lit/ got! Note, that before this I had thought /lit/ was full of reasonable, intelligent, well-read, and even brilliant people, but throughout the entire thread there was nary a real argument against me, just invective after invective, however, I must admit that according to my memory I must except one (and perhaps two but primarily one) anon who was brave enough to entertain my argument and who tried to argue in good faith―though even he, with great shame, had to note the dearth of arguments against me, and the true cult-like nature of my opposition; everyone else continued to call me a faggot, a troll, and an autist―in reality I am none of these things, and have been noted by many as being a truly competent, handsome, and able man, a man's man even, but despite my protests, my refutations of these libellous claims, and my attempts at having a good-faith argument, my opposition remained brain-dead. I had no idea that /lit/ would have such a complete attachment to humour, I hadn't noticed their love of humour before―though I admit that it is easier for me to recognise who is likely to be a laugh-twat in person so I wouldn't have thought /lit/ was full of them―but /lit/ assaulted me like every wounded cultist does when one has indulted their idol. Almost no-one adressed my original querry for a book, but then of course they knew of none either (footnote: I do not blame them for their ignorance however, for as I say even I was ignorant, and even now I am still very ignorant, and we must all owe are ignorance to the nefarious efforts of the cult of comedy). The only person who ever addressed my querry said something to the effect of, "no, there has never been a book against comedy, for no one has been as obnoxious as you to have even thought of such an idea". Am I really so original?

[Misogelastus No.19251676]

>>19251664
>>19251668
>>19251671
I was almost convinced so for a while but after doing some research I came upon an article from the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy called Philosophy of Humour. THE VERY FIRST ARTICLE is called Humor’s Bad Reputation and emphasises how little people gave a shit about comedy for the most part:
> The first is how little they have said. From ancient times to the 20th century, the most that any notable philosopher wrote about laughter or humour was an essay, and only a few lesser-known thinkers such as Frances Hutcheson and James Beattie wrote that much. The word humour was not used in its current sense of funniness until the 18th century, we should note, and so traditional discussions were about laughter or comedy. The most that major philosophers like Plato, Hobbes, and Kant wrote about laughter or humour was a few paragraphs within a discussion of another topic. Henri Bergson’s 1900 Laughter was the first book by a notable philosopher on humour. Martian anthropologists comparing the amount of philosophical writing on humour with what has been written on, say, justice, or even on Rawls’ Veil of Ignorance, might well conclude that humour could be left out of human life without much loss.
To that I say they would be most correct! It goes on to describe how when people did talk about comedy they mostly spoke very negatively about it. Wisemen from Plato and Aristotle, to the Christian philosophers and theologians of ancient to early-modern times (both Catholic and Protestant), and even to the philosophers of the early enlightenment such as Descartes and Hobbes often spoke ill of comedy, and even in the east, though the article does not cover oriental philosophy, among the Buddhist there are many monastic doctrines calling for abstinence from laughter (just as Christians practised).
With this rich history, one can see how my disappointment over my lack of originality was washed by my pride in having stumbled upon a most noble tradition as old as time! Thank God for this! I now have a mission in life! A purpose! Those other philosophers saw no need in combatting the scourge of comedy, but they lived in an era without social media, telivision, or even to some extant, printed media. Only the puritans could have seen what was to come but their efforts ended largely in vain. I don't care if mine do too. I MUST TAKE A STAND AGAINST COMEDY, FOR THE WHOLE OF SOCIETY, FOR THE GOOD OF HUMANITY I MUST TAKE A STAND AGAINST COMEDY, AND AGAINST HUMOUR, AND AGAINST LAUGHTER. IT IS VITAL.

[Anonymous No.19251732]

>>19250548
c'est une frambois?
>>19251664
>>19251668
>>19251671
>>19251676
saved and included. a toast-worthy pasta and an honor.

[Anonymous No.19251861]

here's something spooky

>Yes, that is me, in the mirror
>A schoolboy, with hopes and dreams
>Just as intact as my foreskin

[Anonymous No.19251983]

Issue 009 is cursed.
>waxwing slain edition
Left it out by my window and a bird crashed into the window and left a bloody mess. Save us, OP.

[Anonymous No.19252334]

>>19251983
Please tell me you just made this up...

[Anonymous No.19252367]

>>19252334
It wasn't propped against the window like this; just for the sake of the picture.

[Anonymous No.19252940]

>>19252367
Oh fuck

[Anonymous No.19253032]

yo this shit slaps frfr

[Anonymous No.19253080]

OP do you charge money for the ads like the unreal discord people &c.?
P.S. lampbylit.com/elite
P.P.S. user: anon pass:god

[Anonymous No.19253405]

>for whoever coined the phrase 'curiosity killed the cat' forgot to mention the un-curious cat dies too. Also, was a bore

That piece written in French is bullshit. I don't speak French

[Anonymous No.19253514]

>>19250502
Where can i see the previous ones?

[Anonymous No.19253558]

>>19253514
https://lampbylit.com/magazine/

[Anonymous No.19253981]

Be honest: do those of you that contribute actually read others’ work? What’s your favorite piece of someone else’s?

[Anonymous No.19254015]

>>19253981
favorite piece was the one by jnoaubrey, nto sure if he used that as his pen name or not. it was about some whore spy who is a dumb bitch and fucks a turk.

[Anonymous No.19254026]

>>19253981
i wouldnt contribute if i didnt like at least some of the ones written by others. my favs over the issues are
>trillionares
>thine is the kingdom
>the good the bad
>some of the poetry
>the baseball one
>generals
>newlyweds
>justice system
>a few ideas (?)
>every gay one

[Anonymous No.19254057]

>>19254026
>>every gay one
so all of them?

[Anonymous No.19254059]

Is it considered too old fashioned to write metrical, rhyming poetry? It's all I write, so that's what I submitted.

[Anonymous No.19254066]

Where do i get earlier versions?

[Anonymous No.19254255]

>>19254066
https://lampbylit.com/magazine/issues/

[Misogelastus No.19255006]

>>19251732
Thank you. So, am I correct in guessing that you fellows don't have an editor? I might have to revise this submission in other editions sometime later, though since I will be submitting only the freshest content to your magazine I don't believe I'll be publishing revised editions there (I don't want to take up space with old content); I will, however, try to submit other Agelastic literature/philosophy if you don't mind. I truly believe that the people need to be made aware of the cancer which has metastasised in all present societies and I encourage anyone reading this to do the same.

[Anonymous No.19255849]

How many people are involved in assembling these issue?

[Anonymous No.19255870]

put this in it
>I kille 3 to 5 people in afganistan and now i get free college and uncle sam gives me 1900 dollars a month for ptsd. I really had a good expeirtence when i was deployed. sorryt for the typos im drunk. I loved deploying and so did all my friends,. War isnt the same any more. its so easy. just look at the casualtyuu rates on wikipedia. even world war two you had a good chance of surviving. war sucks for small weak people though i reckon. the guy i killed was just opening his fronty door. might have been two of them theri honestly i dont reallly remeber. it was so fast. i just started shooting. i got a high five afterwards. during that mission we killed 40+ people and only one of our guys got shot. he gopt paralyzed from the waste down. we knew we killed 40 people becuase a few days later the ISR drones took a picture of tall the graves they dug in the village. man, so it goes. war was so easy. imagine rolling into a village with 70 higfhly trianed dudes with night vision and 3 helicopoters overhead plus drones and radios and all that shit. its like cheating. there is basically npo danger. its more dangerous to be a coal miner. its the fucking afgans fasult for fighting back. dont you understand how poer works? just submit you idiots, or die. play the game. its just a game. its the law of nature. the deck was rigged. now i get free college. i was a mercenary. some girl asked me if i missed the army today in class. i said no not really.

[Anonymous No.19256443]

>>19250502
>Watched Exorcist III because I heard it was better than Silence of the Lambs
>Mental patient gets possessed by demons and kills people
>Pretty spooky
>Realize the US military kills innocent people all the time
>Just smoked 10 civilians in Afghanistan including 7 kids
>Realize my tax dollars fund more murder than Jason/Michael Myers/Freddy/ect.
>combined
>too spooky.
>MFW

[Anonymous No.19256520]

>>19252367
holy shit!
>>19253080
nah, if you have an ad you can just submit it as content and i'll put it in.
>>19253405
submit something in french. i've got an anon cooking something up en framboise as we speak.
>>19254026
>feels good man
>>19254059
did you submit already? do so.
>>19255006
there's a couple editors doing what we can.
actual copyediting of content does not really happen though, anons are mostly responsible for making sure their work is print-worthy.
>>19255849
anywhere from around ten to thirty anons per issue.

[Anonymous No.19256601]

also please submit memes for the (((instagram)))
@lampbylit

[Anonymous No.19256893]

>>19256601
The only memes I'll ever make are forestanon wojaks. Everything else is fag and gay.

[Anonymous No.19257167]

>>19256893
poast 'em

[Anonymous No.19257170]

FUCKING SUBMIT PLEASE WE ARE BEHIND HERE

[Anonymous No.19257227]

>>19257170
all i have is a page and a half of dramatized blogposting, anon

[Anonymous No.19257235]

>>19257170
I asked this in a previous thread but I wasn’t around if it got answered

Can I submit PDFs

[Anonymous No.19257362]

>>19257227
i'll take it. is it spooky—nevermind i'll take it.
>>19257235
yeah all formats are golden. i use google docs and canva but i encourage submitting esoteric filetypes and creepybins.

[Anonymous No.19257376]

Lord Mixner, don't you know who I am? I love girls just like every man! well...every man that's a man that is...every man except sam, you dig?
Lord Mixner, won't you let me be? I am me for eternity―but not much longer, see, cause everything has it's end, everything including you my friend.
Lord Mixner, won't you suck my cock? I'll even give you some shiny rocks? but no more than two, cause last night you left me blue and I don't forgive or forget―yet.
Lord Mixner, you seen me cry? I don't care cause soon I'll die, and shame don't follow you to the grave, far's I know anyway...but what do I know? save I'm gonna die some day.
Lord Mixner, can you tell me how? now came from then, but it's always now into now? I saw the old lady killing the old hen or was it the other way around? I wouldn't know anyhow so why don't you tell me friend?
Lord Mixner, you seen me get shot? that vaccine gets me hot but my arm was numb so it felt like another hand...you mind giving me one sam? or do you think no-one knows you're not a man?
Lord Mixner, I must say good-bye and I'm sure you know just why is why, for you got me shot and let me be, you knew me friend and sucked my D., you told me how and saw me cry, and now I gotta say goodbye, goodnight my friend we'll meet again soon :)

[Anonymous No.19257386]

>>19257376
*I'll even give you some shiny rocks;

[Anonymous No.19257404]

>>19257170
>>19257362
do i get paid if i win?

[Anonymous No.19257417]

we don't have to submit here, right
we can submit through the website

[Anonymous No.19257431]

>>19257404
unfortunately &amp Media is not in a position to offer compensation for printed material, in exchange for this lack of compensation, we will strip your name from your work and attribute it to Anonymous kek
>>19257417
yeah whatever's clever

[Anonymous No.19257492]

>>19250502
running a little late, huh? That shit better be out before next Monday.

[Anonymous No.19257571]

>>19257492
Yes sir!

[Anonymous No.19257740]

>>19257431
Put this >>19257376 in your next issue daddy-o, and make it snazzy!

[Anonymous No.19258204]

THANKS BOIZ KEEP EM ROLLIN

[Anonymous No.19258209]

>>19257170
I sent you a short story and twelve poems. I hope that helps. Check your email. Some of my submissions have gone to your spam folder before. Email me back if you got them.

[Anonymous No.19258210]

>>19258204
Bruh can I submit my poem? Or is this edition thematic?

[Anonymous No.19258252]

>>19257376
Should read "any man" instead of "every man" now that I think about it...

[Anonymous No.19258709]

>>19258210
Spooky theme preferred but judging by OP's desperation I think he'll take anything at this point

[Anonymous No.19259862]

>>19258210
>>19258709
you got it

[Anonymous No.19259924]

>>19250502
>>19257170
>>19258204
i saw this 'Holloween' poem last year in a Whats on your mind thread and i thought it was quite good but nobody ever replied to him. could go in the issue

[Anonymous No.19259992]

>>19259924
There have been at least 2 times where a screenshot of something I posted has made it into the mag and it feels way better than a (You)

[Anonymous No.19260051]

>>19259992
well glad you didnt leave reality on that matrix of drugs just yet & i can imagine. one time i drew something in mspaint in high school and posted it on /b/ and then years later while browsing /lit/ i saw someone post it and almost threw up in excitement

[Anonymous No.19260301]

>>19260051
Post it

[Anonymous No.19260695]

>>19256893
don't cheapen him by making any for this shill mag its not like he'll see it

[Anonymous No.19260878]

>>19260695
>being gay

[Anonymous No.19261218]

>>19260695
I love forest anon and I love &amp, and unless forest anon wants to be associated with &amp, we should leave him alone. I agree with you

[Anonymous No.19261683]

The the author of Ecce Homo,

If that was an ironic work of fiction I laud you for your ability to point out the cognitive dissonance of smug materialists. Especially because of what you said about Cuba do I think that the thoughts of the narrator Shane Collins are not your own thoughts.

However, I am not totally convinced that you didn't mean every word you wrote. If (You), the author of Ecce Homo, believe the things that Shane Collins, the narrator of Ecce Homo, writes, then you are a sad and pathetic loser. Don't blame capitalism for your lack of creativity—if you really were creative as a child (which you probably weren't) then getting bullied at school would not have taken away your creative spark. Your "friends" likely resent you and don't want to spend time with you because you berate them about politics and the people they are friends with. You completely misunderstood Camus, and I suggest that you read the essay yourself before you adapt it into your ideology. A woman dying of cancer praying to God to heal her is not a Nazi soldier—justify it any way you like, but you are a piece of shit for being glad she is probably dead. Get over yourself. Your shitty life is the fault of no one but your own, and you will continue to have a shitty life until you accept that fact and move on. It seems to me you prefer to wallow as you think it gives you some sort of license to complain. You strike me as the kind of person that will one-up someone having a bad day. I hope you do make your way to Cuba, where unless you seriously change your attitude toward others, you will live the exact same miserable and unfulfilling life. You are correct when you say you'll never be a writer. You are not a great undiscovered artist. I hope at the very least you treat your mother well.

Up yours,

Anonymous

[Anonymous No.19262136]

Hope you knuckle heads are actually submitting

[Anonymous No.19262245]

>>19262136
any self-confidence to spare for me?

[Anonymous No.19262248]

[Anonymous No.19262264]

>>19262136
EditorAnon emailed me saying my piece about eating cheeseburgers and ripping off the government is going in. I'm stoked. Working a piece for 011 about all the local ways people in America drink coffee that I've found in my travels. If you think that sounds gay, wait until you read it.
>it's super gay.

[Anonymous No.19262555]

>>19262245
Yes: FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOUR SELF YOU FUCK

[Anonymous No.19262584]

>>19262555
expect an email soon desu

[Anonymous No.19263266]

Never thought much bout amp but I've recently considered participating, where would I actually submit?

[Anonymous No.19263286]

>>19251664
>>19251668
>>19251671
>>19251676
based as fuck. laughter rots the brain

[Anonymous No.19263381]

>>19263266
Here is the email
[e-mail]

[Anonymous No.19264129]

save me 5 pages and give me a few days

[Anonymous No.19265186]

>>19262136
btw here was the follow up to my eggs, perfect yolks desu

[Anonymous No.19265393]

Apparently if you want to submit for the print version you have to 'have your agent submit your work via the proper channels on /lit/'. What does that entail?

[Anonymous No.19265414]

>>19265393
Why don't you read through this thread dummy

[Anonymous No.19265443]

>>19265414
too busy writing

[Anonymous No.19265490]

>>19265443
Based

[Anonymous No.19265708]

>>19265186
looks absolutely... yummy.

[Anonymous No.19265801]

just submitted my shit
sure hope ain't too late

[Anonymous No.19265811]

>>19265801
also I used the submission page on the website, not the email
the title is The Sun Seeker, feel free to post it in print in case it gets in, we have no "literary agents" where I live.

[Anonymous No.19265895]

>>19265811
Submission page on the website will just put it on the website, you need to email him to be in print

[Anonymous No.19265987]

Circumventing the contents of your writing to the concurrent season of the society is something penis appraisers do.

[Anonymous No.19266001]

>>19265895
What's the best email to go through? I've seen a few, one with a gmail suffix and another at the lampbylit domain.

[Anonymous No.19266017]

>>19266001
Idk man just send it to both

[Anonymous No.19266026]

>>19266017
But then I'll look like a pleading faggot, anon. Don't you understand that I have to hold on to at least a modicum of pride when I submit to an anonymous alt-zine?

[Anonymous No.19266106]

>>19250502
how do you submit?

[Anonymous No.19266133]

>>19266026
>>19266001
>>19266106
see url mentioned here >>19253080

[Anonymous No.19266152]

>>19266133
I used the one there initially. I sent another to the admin email just to hurt myself, though.

[Anonymous No.19266497]

>>19266026
Not my problem

[Anonymous No.19267038]

>>19265801
submit it via email.
the slush submission thing is being funky.
you know it works when it takes you to a thank you page after submission but it only works half the time. needs an upgrade. please send to [e-mail]

[Anonymous No.19267860]

>>19267038
is there an expected release date yet?

[Anonymous No.19267907]

>>19267860
should be live on halloween

[Anonymous No.19268209]

Was Eggplant worth reading? I started reading part 1, but lost interesting knowing that there were 2 more parts to read.

[Anonymous No.19268342]

>>19268209
Yeah it’s fun if you like dialogue. I enjoyed it but I enjoy most submissions that aren’t a garbage fire.

Also anons, I know you don’t have Instagram so tell your friends to follow us online, @lampbylit

[Anonymous No.19269394]

>>19250502
Wtf is an &amp?

[Anonymous No.19270179]

My copy of 009 just came in and I really liked the madness one

[Anonymous No.19270579]

>>19250502
Next month maybe, I don't like writing spooky things

[Anonymous No.19271314]

>>19267860
I scored some good blow with the sales of Issue 009, so it's going to be around 3 weeks, I think.

[Anonymous No.19271351]

>>19268209
I stuck with it, and I like it but I feel like it’s probably still got a few more installments

[Anonymous No.19271464]

Come on man, don't pull a fucking Simpsons on me and release Treehouse of of Horror during November like they did a few years ago. I want to read spooky stories during Halloween by my fellow anons.

[Anonymous No.19271671]

>>19271464
I agree. Riot if it isn't out by Halloween

[Anonymous No.19272688]

bump

[Anonymous No.19272879]

>>19272688
digits confirm