Itt: sentences that make no sense

[Anonymous No.19229055]

>The notes in which the 53-year-old Beyle, writing during a sojourn at Civitavecchia, attempted to relive the tribulations of those days afford eloquent proof of the various difficulties entailed in the act of recollection

Like wtf did he mean by this?

[Anonymous No.19229064]

>The notes, in which the 53-year-old Beyle, writing during a sojourn at Civitavecchia, attempted to relive the tribulations of those days, afford eloquent proof of the various difficulties entailed in the act of recollection
fixed

[Anonymous No.19229068]

basically he's saying that his stay was so tough that he couldn't do it justice in his notes during the stay

[Anonymous No.19229079]

>>19229064
You've made it worse and completely wrecked the rhythm of the sentence.

[Anonymous No.19229132]

>>19229055
Beyle's notes prove just how hard it is to have an accurate recollection of events.

[Anonymous No.19229137]

>>19229079
that is proper punctuation you dumb nigger

[Anonymous No.19229159]

>>19229137
Are you ESL?
>The notes, in which the 53-year-old Beyle, writing during a sojourn at Civitavecchia, attempted to relive
Does that seriously sound either correct or good to you? You've forced in optional commas that needlessly break up the flow to such a degree that parentheses would be more functional. Get your head checked.

[Anonymous No.19229164]

>>19229159
>he doesn't understand how subordinate clauses work in English
NGMI

[Anonymous No.19229165]

>>19229064
>>19229159
>The notes in which the 53-year-old Beyle -writing during a sojourn at Civitavecchia- attempted to relive the tribulations of those days, afford eloquent proof of the various difficulties entailed in the act of recollection

[Anonymous No.19229177]

>>19229165
uhh

[Anonymous No.19229179]

>>19229165
LMAO YOU ARE RETARDED
>attempted to relive the tribulations of those days,
I love how you are showing that you know there is a subordinate clause there with the comma but still not demonstrating its beginning near the beginning of the sentence.
The sentence is trash but you are so fucking bad at English. Holy shit.

[Anonymous No.19229188]

>>19229159
A COMMA MUST ALWAYS OCCUR BEFORE A CLAUSE BEGINNING WITH "WHICH"

[Anonymous No.19229259]

>>19229164
>>19229188
Oh this is always a fun game: ESL, or style guide NPC? How subordinate clauses are marked or unmarked by punctuation is dictated by the tone and style of the sentence and writer. OP's sentence is superior and grammatically sound. If you clog up a sentence with commas where they don't need to be because that's what someone told you the rule is you're just an autist, plain and simple. I bet you don't start sentences with "and" or "but" because your middle school English teacher told you not to.

[Anonymous No.19229271]

>>19229259
Imagine defending such a shit sentence

[Anonymous No.19229299]

>>19229259
>I am smarter because instead of creating something beautiful within confined restraints, an impressive feat, I throw order out the window because I am an enlightened slob

[Anonymous No.19229319]

>>19229271
>>19229299
Do you two even read books? Serious question. If you have spent any amount of time reading English literature from before the 1950s, OP's sentence should not be confusing or rankling to you.

[Anonymous No.19229330]

>>19229319
Do you not deny that creating something beautiful within a set of rules is ultimately more skillful than creating something beautiful willy nilly?

[Anonymous No.19229354]

>>19229259
>I bet you don't start sentences with "and" or "but" because your middle school English teacher told you not to.
you are correct

[Anonymous No.19229368]

>>19229137
You dont technically need that comma because attempted can have Beyle as the subject while afford has the notes as subject

[Anonymous No.19230483]

>>19229068
I interpreted the final sentence as him having costed the time and effort to recollect his thoughts.

[Anonymous No.19230684]

>>19229064
Holy ESL

[Anonymous No.19230688]

Lysidike took her ability to read his mind as a matter of course, but his converse power was still unsettling. Time was only Anaximander ever gleaned what she thought with any proficiency; but he deduced her nature from what his oily smarts told him was the nature of a person, and only sardonically hinted at his mastery. Tlexictli didn’t even have to puzzle to catch her straight away, so the privacy she took for a metaphysical given in her youth broke up, and she felt her disagreements with her husband as dumb sensory pressures, like heat or cold. Their cross-purposes weren’t any easier for their transparency, but there was nothing to worry over – they’d conducted business together before becoming sentimental.