/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.1917070]

>Go on Yahoo Answers.
>Books and Authors and Poetry sections
>mfw

I have not read one good piece of writing there, /lit/. It's all unbelievably bad. So, let's all go to Yahoo Answers and either post here the best and worst of what we find, or give the kids there some real help. One thing is for sure: they all need a good dose of critique.

[Anonymous No.1917078]

Girl from the Moon
Girl from the moon, eyes shining so brightly,
Her skin, pale like mist, white like milk.
Her soft footsteps tread so very lightly,
Her white blond hair, soft like sweet silk.

Heir to a dying kingdom, still so young;
Vibrant, youthful, a pure beauty.
To a life and world she once knew she clung,
But to no avail; she had a duty.

A father, one she never even knew,
A mother, burdened with despair.
That poor sweet girl, she didn't have a clue,
That she was tangled in such an affair.

Broken and battered, she sat on the throne,
A task far too difficult for a child.
Rapidly and joylessly had she grown,
It was a rare moment when she smiled.

Next one doesn't have a name, it's a spell.
Our world is bound by two powerful forces.
Sun, to warm our hearts and light the day,
Moon, to brighten the night and chase the demons away,
Never one without the other, the ultimate duet,
Together they make a gorgeous silhouette.
They sing their joyful song in perfect harmony,
Their sweet voices melding in holy matrimony.
Lux tenebra!

-juliannedeg

Masturbatory garbage.

[Anonymous No.1917080]

My name, Conner Rush. My wife and kids...dead. The man that committed the crime, free to go. And I served what felt like one million years in a rotting jail cell, being served meals that were filled with maggots. A crime I didn't commit. And yet I feel as though I am the one who did it. But I didn't. It's all in the past, my past haunts my mind. Like the chills after cold wind blows on your skin. The chills never end. Not for me. And today, was my would-have-been 5th year anniversary. So naturally I busted out the vodka and turned on the first season of Niptuck, another sleepless night, here I come.
And as the morning sun rolled around and made the lights in my apartment look dim, a sense of numbness and drunkenness washed over my body. And like the small infinite person I am, my small infinite mind drifted into space. What would I have done? If I was there the night it happened, I could of took the guy on, face to face. Fist to fist, but no. I wasn't there. I was out with my buddies. Drinking, and at home my beautiful long legged,skinny, blonde hair, blue eyed wife was being raped and murdered along with my three beautiful girls. How could I have known? There was no way. I still don't forgive myself and neither does God. But here in the city of New York, we don't hear much of him, no miracles or acts of him and all his holiness, but I guess that is supposed to be expected. After all there are other places in the world where people are in dire need of a miracle and they have lost all hope in the man upstairs. I haven't but I have however certainly and utterly disappointed him. I wish I could have done more to save her. But when I got to her, she had already lost to much blood and the children... I can't go on.

[Anonymous No.1917081]

>>1917080
The Best Answer for this garbage:

really well written, makes sense, descriptive, pretty good book.
look i go onto online sites and try to read people's stories, only most of the time I don't even get past paragraph one, because either it is really boring, or the wording is wrong, or it is not descriptive
TRUST ME THIS IS ONE THING I WOULD READ!!!

...
No.

[Anonymous No.1917085]

Story ideas?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I want to write a story, but have no idea what the plot will be.
Any ideas?

[Anonymous No.1917089]

>>1917080
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Anonymous No.1917091]

The circus
Have you ever been to the circus?
Not the ones you see these day's.
Not the ones with clowns and tricks and jokes
The ones your ancestors know.
The old world

In life,
Dance is dance.
In pleasure,
Performance is performance.
In the old world..
A circus is a circus.

Have you ever wondered,
How it would be like to fly?
A mystery nobody knows.
Once on the trapeze, you feel
the heat. The wind pushing your eyelids
open. Any fool can learn to swing.
But..the real thrill is the feeling.
To fly.

You must remember, nothing matters more than
the act.
To juggle,to jump,to swing,to fly.
This isn't the world you know.
This is the old world

An act may be an act,
But a circus is a circus.

"Coponicus" by Tobi Hi.

A circus is a circus? No shit, Sherlock.

[Anonymous No.1917098]

This one is still open for answers, if anyone has the stomach to do it:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AoN_VgJ74uva3Oh6CCM8bT2f5HNG;_ylv=3?qid=20110710114009A
ACXpyR

“I always knew I was different,” I slowly let out. Mom shut the TV off and her green eyes went wide. She knew it was time, but never knew it would come this quickly. “At thirteen I was unbelievably fast and strong. That’s why I quit anything with using that. I didn’t know what was happening.”
“You don’t have to-” Mom stopped when the storm picked up. She went to the window and stared out. I could see the look of horror on her face through the shining glass.
“I have to say this. On my fourteenth birthday, I noticed that I could control the weather. When I turned fifteen, a mark showed up above my breast on my right side. The mark is shaped like a wing,” I said with a serious tone to my voice.

[Anonymous No.1917100]

>>1917098
She turned and faced me with tears streaming down her face. I knew it hurt her to have an odd child. I knew it hurt her to know I was like my absent dad. “When the months became longer after my sixteenth birthday, I noticed nothing different had happened until I looked in the mirror one day and saw the mark wasn’t a white line anymore like a scar, but outlined black. So I went into your study and hunted down for anything about-”
“Skyler, your dad was normal. Your dad was an amazing man and left for the war,” she cried. That’s what I thought until I found something different.
“No he wasn’t. I found his e-mail address and e-mailed him. He told me I was different, odd, and that is I didn’t seek him out I would be killed. I had Larkin trace where the e-mails were coming from. They were coming from Phoenix,” I sighed. A tear welled up in my eye as Mom’s lip began quivering. I felt normal- No honey you are normal. That is what my mother had told me after I brought this up last year. Now I have proof I’m not anything close to normal.
Her hands flew up to her face and she began to ball her eyes out. She knew what I wanted to do. She knew what I had to do. She obviously didn’t want me to go, but I have no choice unless death is what she wants from me.

[Anonymous No.1917102]

>>1917100
“When I turned seventeen almost a year ago, I screamed from the pain. Pain I knew that you could see, but didn’t even look twice at it. I screamed from the pain all over. My body was changing just like Dad had told me it would. My body is lean and light. Marks showed up on my legs, arms, back, and chest. I changed what I wore so no one would see them.”
I stole from you, I wanted to say. I stole money for my clothes. Tomorrow was the final day. Tomorrow was my eighteenth birthday when I would scream in pain, become strong, and change more than I already have. What was I before thirteen? I was human, normal. Now I am something different and odd. I am something I don’t even know what to call and neither does my kind.
“Tomorrow I will change again and leave for Phoenix. I don’t know how I will get there, but I will.” The tears finally fell. I let my black hair fall into my face so Mom wouldn’t see the sadness hid behind the wave of darkness. Mom let out a wail and ran out. I was alone just like I felt all the time.

[Anonymous No.1917104]

These ghosts they haunt me
raped daily
the past lives on
this cruel world does not forget
my soul is torn
I am worn.
Will this burn cause the pain to peel away?
or will it just leave it's retched scar?
I am worn.
How many lies must I be told to hear a single truth?
In love there comes death
In age, there was youth
I heard the cry of the tortured.
The cry of the beloved.
I am worn. I am worn.
I hide.
not out of fear,
but of pure regret.
I am worn.

[Anonymous No.1917106]

>>1917102
>>1917100
>>1917098
ohhhhhhhh goddddddddddddddddddddd
I could barely make it through the first one

[Anonymous No.1917110]

>>1917104
CRAAAAAAAAWLING IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN MYYYYY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

[Anonymous No.1917114]

>>1917078
>>1917080
>>1917098
>>1917100
>>1917102
>>1917104

[Anonymous No.1917117]

This is gold.

>What do you think of this? Please read!?
>My friend and I have been writing a story for over a year now and I was wondering if you could read the first paragraph or so and tell me what you think of it. Also, please give advice.

>Thankyou! (:
>Forever and always

It only happened in a matter of seconds...
I thought I was too late...
But that didn’t matter...
Not when he... was...

I was too breathless to speak. I was sure he was coming close. And closer. Closer. Closer and closer. I was afraid. Something bad was going to happen. I knew. Just knew it. I couldn’t help myself falling into place with my gift. I looked around for something. Something useful... Then I remembered... Then I remembered. On the side of the wall... A sword! I ran towards it, not bothering to waste any precious time. But then I felt something explode in my hands. I let it go and threw it straight into his chest. He let out a blood curdling scream that made my soul go cold. I looked down at my hands and now realised what the sharp pain was in my wrists. There was blood all around me. Although, only a few seconds later, which seemed like forever, the cuts were gone... What was happening to me?! My gift was taking control of me. I suddenly turned around and found he was gone. I dropped to my knees in pain. How could this be happening to me? Why me?

[Anonymous No.1917127]

Before I met you, I was having a hard time explaining
and maintaining all my thoughts & emotions,

now I'm coasting through the supermarket
looking for some special lotions, okay
I get it, you're thinking I'm moving too quickly

I'm just trying my best to make you ignore all the rest
& finally pick me, I'm feeling sickly but it's a good sickness

I can tell that your love is a magical spell that I wish to witness
so bear with this, baby gimmie the business, you'll get yours in return

I'm here whenever you need me, you can be assured just tell me the word
God has finally answered me, I think prayers have been heard...Don't be scerrrd.. ha ha yeeah

Horny middle-class white teens REPRESENT

[Anonymous No.1917134]

>>1917127
And here you have it: what Justin Bieber will be singing when he hits puberty.

[Anonymous No.1917136]

a gruesome night,
the feeling of fright,
a killers delight.

[Anonymous No.1917142]

[Anonymous No.1917145]

>>1917136
Just about to post that one.

[Anonymous No.1917148]

>>1917145
Great minds think alike.

[Anonymous No.1917151]

>>1917098
>>1917100
>>1917102

Has the potential to be the new Twilight. But seriously she doesn't describe anything in detail; It's just sentence after sentence telling us in the most general terms what she is doing.

[Anonymous No.1917154]

Not thinking who i am
Wearing whatever i want
Anything goes on whatever i find
Who cares nows my time to shine

I dont care what you have to say
gonna be who i was always before
Never will you speak up for me
Ill always be me thats for sure

Nope im not trendy
Proudly away from the crowd
I dont dress all preppy
Im just living in the future tense forward

Glam kings on unicorn motorcycles
Im sure this wont pass your fashion trials
Who the damn cares what goes now days
Yesterday was just another day like today
But when tomorrow comes the cycles done
The trials are destroyed and the fun's to begin

I dont care what you have to say
gonna be who i was always before
Never will you speak up for me
Ill always be me thats for sure

Nope im not trendy
Proudly away from the crowd
I dont dress all preppy
Im just living in the future tense forward

I don't wanna copy what he wears
In all honesty whats his i don't care
I'm not a follower
I'm a trendsetter
A fast forward thinker
Thinking about the future

Your like a king everyone wants to be
You got the swag you talk all slang
I speak proper with a clean tongue
Understand me or get a dictionary
With all your soldiers coming with a bang
There all trained to just be like you
Just like some wannabe dude
Only to you they listen because your the king

Nope im not trendy
Proudly away from the crowd
I dont dress all preppy
Im just living in the future tense forward

Fast forward to the future
changing minds and culture
Fast forward to the future
Dethroning the kings
Fast forward to the future
Being the king of kings

>Sing with me, /lit/.
>"Oh I just can't waaaaaaaait to be kiiing!"

[Anonymous No.1917153]

>mfw I made this thread a month ago and people called me a faggot

[Anonymous No.1917158]

Found this goldnugget:

So this passage is supposed to be rather obscure and surreal I don't want to give away the plot so I can't explain why it has to be that way. The problem is that i don't want to overdo it, I want to get the confused feel across without making it completely unreadable. So is this still readable?

______________________________________…

Through the doors of a suburban home a man barraged through. He entered the kitchen. On a shelf in a dusty cupboard opposite the man sat a little teapot observing the room.

“Something about him seems different today” Contemplated the teapot, after a short pause the teapot continued: “His hair is still the same, a big greasy messy bob. His movements maybe? They’re a bit quicker than usual but-- It’s his eyes! Yes that’s it; his eyes are out of control, darting all over the room. Oh, I do believe the poor man is in dire need of some earl grey right now. If only I could wave out to him”

The man was shuffling through all sorts of rubbish. He had already emptied three drawers. His impatiens was turning to rage.

“I can’t find my f****** teapot anywhere. Oh god where did I put that wretched thing” the man roared in a violent fit of anger.

Next the man lifted up a glass from the counter beside himself.

The glass was rather irritated. It felt the tight clasp around his circumference. Then it was violently shook and finally released. It glided through the air until it smashed into a wall.

The man threw another and another losing control to primal emotions.

The man now found himself on the sofa after suffering from one of his black-outs, his trousers were unbuttoned and his hand was cosy. He had forgot what he even wanted. His eyes were beginning to get heavy from all the strain. They closed.

[Anonymous No.1917163]

A poem written by S,G, and Gio. (Super Girl, thank you!!!)

[LoL around]

I came to get down, I came to get down
So get outta your seats and LOL around

LOL around, LOL up and get down
LOL around, LOL around
LOL up and get down
LOL up, LOL up and get down

LOL, LOL, LOL
LOL, LOL, LOL
LOL, LOL, LOL
LOL, LOL, LOL
LOL, LOL, LOL
LOL, LOL .... ....

Additional Details
whoa, whoa, whoa
whoa, whoa, whoa
whoa, whoa, whoa
whoa, whoa, whoa
whoa, whoa, whoa
whoa, whoa .... ....

>I lol'd.

[Anonymous No.1917164]

>>1917158
Reminds me of Through a Black Hole Cemented, only worse.

[Anonymous No.1917165]

>>1917102

What is it with people writing things that are obviously aimed towards a set audience? I get that you need to know your market, but make it fucking subtle, instead of the misunderstood, scared and lonely girl with daddy issues has magic powers. Okay, I get it! It's for whiny teenagers! Yeesh...

[Anonymous No.1917166]

>>1917154
>Understand me or get a dictionary
>Grade school vocabulary

The only way in which a dictionary helps understand this bitch is the fact that it contains the definition of angst.

[Anonymous No.1917167]

>>1917163

I ironically lol'd

[Anonymous No.1917176]

Has anyone actually bothered to give out concrit?

And now, I present to you a poem by XxXcanttouchthisXxX

They speak of lies and lust
Their hearts outgrown run down with rust
But they were once loved, once cared for
But time passes by and their lives, their eyes look to a dark night
A story spoken quiet breaking me inside
I want to scream aloud to tell all those broken down
Its a picture, their lives.
Such beauty was shown
The love that grew in the darkest of skies
Its nothing more than an hour show
On a stage running with full speed no room to breathe
Pushing their hearts they are without truth
Plasted paper mache with a drum thumping they dance, they dance my laughter away
Singing of pain bringing me inside such dark walls I cry
Their lives folding within speaking again an again
The paint painted dims all the love they once shew was half truth
But its not just a show its my heart you cut through
The shadows, the dark run away
Your life you live will find another face
Another face as you so untrue
You will feel what i feel
You will one day know how muched i loved you so

[Anonymous No.1917189]

Ok, seriously which one of you posted this?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AggsJf76nWzrkW0zEd8ddBmf5HNG;_ylv=3?qid=20110710163622A
ADzycM

[Anonymous No.1917186]

This thread... just... no. Fuck. This hurts to read.

[Anonymous No.1917200]

>>1917189
Daaaamn.

Oh, look guise! I found Pedobear's favorite poem!

Broken hymen gal

You whisper I love you in my head I’m screaming no!
You grab my hand I just wish you would let go
I feel your cold hands on my body
Your clammy fist clasps tight
around my tiny fragile wrist
And your dirty desires prey upon my soul
I cry and say stop!

You say
Don’t you wanna be a good step daughter?
Just remember
Don’t tell mommy.
You kiss me as I say icky

I try to get away
You’re so strong I can’t stop you
A good slap the toddler is on the floor for a whirl
Forced to play your twisted games
Now I’ll never be quite the same

You push yourself onto me, knowing you had the upper hand
knowing I won’t tell a soul
You rubbed you're foul traumatizing hands against my toddler sized breast
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest

Every inch of my body numb
As you move down my small body frame line
Taking down my undies
You grab my hands back as I try to hide the last bit of myself

I knew what my night is to be within
It was not the first
It was the same as the last
and same as the next
As you attacked me like a bull

[Anonymous No.1917202]

>>1917200 Contd.

Years go by I act as if nothing was wrong
As I look back at those panties
I have in my hand I still see the stains of cruel denial

But to afraid to tell
Afraid to be called a slut
treated as an outcast

Looked a pound badly
My internal life at stake

all because of my past
As I sit here with the sin
I’ll be a cast out of heaven
rejected by hell
as fallen misfit I fall
torn wings and broken dreams
No one wants a broken hymen gal

Hell on earth is where you left me
I am still ,
the 'good step daughter' you asked for,
Afraid to tell mummy
afraid to tell anyone

For years you have haunted me
Like a poltergeist
an omen
a dirty little secret
As I look back
to the days where I was 'yours'
I see you've left your mark

I did not say anything for years
That was my mistake

Your secrets safe with me
for i can't let it slide
Its too late
been to long
No one cares
Dragging up the past
is pointless
causes hurt
for everyone

I’m laying here in a puddle of tears
But no one really cares
About this broken hymen gal

[Anonymous No.1917214]

>my toddler sized breast
>toddler sized
>breast

...

Anyone else picture a really malformed tit shaped like a toddler? Like one of those African kids with their brother hanging out of their stomach? You are now aware that that is somebody's fetish.

[Anonymous No.1917219]

>>1917214
Guilty as charged. Eurgh.

What kind of toddler has tits anyway?

[Anonymous No.1917223]

>>1917219
Well, I mean, toddlers are kind of generally soft and chubby all around, so a toddler would have more in the way of soft flesh there than, say, a prepubescent eleven year old.

[Anonymous No.1917229]

>Going through a landfill expecting to find diamonds

What a noble endeavor, OP

[Anonymous No.1917234]

Hm. I actually found something nice. I's not awesome, but it has a sort of soft musicality about it. It reminds me a little of a poem of Oscar Wilde's, the one that starts, "Tread lightly, she is near".

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush.
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

[Anonymous No.1917237]

>>1917234
>Thinks some fag on Yahoo Answers wrote this.
>I seriously hope you don't do this.

It's an old poem, anon. It was in my seventh-grade English book years ago.

[Brownbear !Wfn4kkpLag!!fEGZw8wphGR No.1917262]

>>1917234
>>1917234

that's written by Mary Frye