Prove that you read by posting a story from some book

[Anonymous No.19092039]

>be me
>spend my days masturbating
>take the monkpill, go to a monastery
>go up the tower where i will live in isolation, away from foids
>i glance through the window and see a foid drop her handkerchief
>she picks it up
>her skirt is lifted and i see her panties
>i fall through the window
>get buried in a mass grave, people think I commited suicide
>go to hell for being a coomer

[Anonymous No.19092046]

It's from one of the most influential American authors, so it shouldn't be hard to guess

[Anonymous No.19093109]

>>19092046
>>19092039
It's from Sherwood Anderson's Winesburg, Ohio.

[Anonymous No.19093688]

>>19092039
>be me
>a vice-captain of a cool merchant ship
>my captain dies and gives me some letter, do the chores for him
>your boss says you'll be the next captain
>soon you'll be married to a beautiful young girl
>life is good, you're happy
>suddenly guards take you to prison for treason you didn't commit
I'm posting this from the If castle anons, it seems my life is over.

[Anonymous No.19093700]

Does that count as a sin? It was involuntary.

[Anonymous No.19093708]

>>19092039
>go with your day
>some old retard asks you how you're doing
>asks you for some things
>asks you for definitions of these things
>keeps fucking talking
>start saying "uh huh" "yeah" "yeah i guess" while ignoring him
>after an hour or two he's smiling like he won a discussion about something
>"yeah ok i have to go now"
>he is laughing that he won another fight and you shouldn't run away
>ignore and go away

[Anonymous No.19093727]

>slave your life away for your family
>want to get money for your sister so she can go to a music school
>wake up
>turn into a vermin monstrosity
>your family hates you
>dad is bombarding you with apples
>beloved sister decides to starve you to death
>die

[Anonymous No.19093969]

>>19093727
Metaphysics by ovid

[Anonymous No.19093999]

>>19092039
>be me
>get another good writing job
>I get to travel at least
>spend some time interviewing, researching, putzing around
>the story of the book sorta spirals, the guy who rented my apartment was a huge dick
>trail eventually leads me to a Caribbean island
>nice
>babes everywhere total paradise
>interview my subject, he's weird but whatever I get my job done
>There's these absolutely perfect chick but the timing doesn't really work out
>get to, by happenstance, be present at a burial of state
>a fucking earthquake hits
>mfw
>the coffin slips into the ocean
>?????
>what the fuck just happened the ocean force I think?
>tornadoes screaming panic death
>barely escape
>still on Caribbean island so not that bad for me personally but ya know
>the world ended
>gf an hero
>religious guru gives pithy ending to his book
>fml

[Anonymous No.19094012]

>>19093708
Kek

[Anonymous No.19094037]

>>19093688
Count of Monte Cristo

[Anonymous No.19094140]

>>19093969
I worked at a college bookstore once. Some sorority slut came in asking for the Metamorphosis. I decided to be snarky and say "the one by Ovid or the one by Kafka" to confuse her. She said I don't know, and I said "well we're only stocking the one by Kafka sooooo".

I still cringe at this. It was 3 years ago.

[Anonymous No.19095595]

>>19093109
>Sherwood Anderson's Winesburg, Ohio.
Are you sure? I've seen it in another novel, but the author might be referencing yours

[Anonymous No.19095693]

>be me
>unhappy with life
>objectively in a good place, but constantly feel inadequate and out of place
>only have one friend, who's a chad, but can relate with him in a pretty unique way
>chad friend likes writing poetry
>girl I have a crush on is a sloppy slut
>out of the blue, she one day wants to go on a vacation with you
>take a trip out to the boonies with her
>visit local tribes.
>see literal brown-skinned, half-naked savages living in pueblos
>for some reason, there's a white kid there, with his white disgusting, alcoholic, middle aged mom
>turns out, long ago, the mom took a trip out there but got left behind and stayed with the natives
>she was pregnant from an affair with a high official and gave birth among the natives
>yikes
>decide to take the kid and the mom back to civilization
>the kid and the mom become celebrities
>everyone starts bribing you and giving you favors so they can meet "the savages"
>the kid starts hanging out with you and your chad friend
>they read poetry together, you begin to feel a bit left out
>the kid has very strange unorthodox ideas. obsessed something called "Shakespeare"
>the kid criticizes society and gets the authorities mad. You and your chad friend get in hot waters
>eventually, the alcoholic mom dies from liver poisoning
>they threaten to deport you to Iceland
>the kid, upset with society, isolates himself and eventually commits suicide

[Anonymous No.19095708]

Ok I’l describe the last book I read

>a kid gets eaten by a crocodile on Halloween when he’s at an amusement park in downtown Chicago
>the dad is sad and a bunch of meta and scary shit happens
>out of body chapters and lots of allegories about Dante’s Inferno

Try to guess what book it was

[Anonymous No.19095713]

>>19095708
Too easy

[Anonymous No.19095809]

>>19095693
Brave New World

[Anonymous No.19095823]

>>19095713
>>19095708
nice try Gardner

[Anonymous No.19095845]

>>19094140
I think that's cute of you anon

[Anonymous No.19096024]

>lay in bed all day
>die

[Anonymous No.19096043]

>>19095713
>not posting the real cover

[Anonymous No.19096074]

>>19095708
>that part where the grandma is cooking dinner and the dad randomly gets a thought that the grandma was cooking a crocodile as some sort of weird psychological "revenge" and he spends like 20 pages being weird and sad about it before realizing that wasn't the case
this shit still gets me

[Anonymous No.19097099]

>>19095595
Just tell us where it's from before your gay thread dies.

[Anonymous No.19097549]

>be african
>play with other kids
>steal a pear
>enjoy it
>literally write a book about it and how much you regret it

[Anonymous No.19097555]

>>19097549
lol is this saint augustine?

[Anonymouṡ No.19097564]

>>19092039
>be me
>marry a tall girl whose family is a bit weird
>live in a massive rambling house
>have an affair with my sister-in-law for no good reason
>spend all my spare time tinkering with a massive elaborate orrery
>have heart attack

[Anonymous No.19097572]

>be 19 years old
>travel across Europe
>be 60 years old
>write about your expedition from 40 years ago
>include a dizzying amount of detail about architecture, history, and cartography
>include details like smells and the quality of light in places
>include stories about how you were totally suave and German girls were totally 'mirin you
>include how you were totally creeped out by nazis and how they were violent scary automatons and you totally knew they were up to no good well before WW2 was ever hinted at
>call it "non fiction" LOL

[Anonymous No.19097575]

>lie on the bench
>stand at the window
>think
>he's going for a walk
>think
>stand at the window, lie on the bench
>that's a big fire
>think
>maybe i should just row my boat out while the storm is on
>that's a big fire
>think
>sheep heads on a stick and burn them
>poke the sheep eye
>the big fire is a little fire or is it a big fire
>think
>so many people in here now
>i'm in here myself like three times on the bench at the window at the fire
>think
>that's a big fire

[Anonymouṡ No.19097578]

>>19092039
>be me
>wander round looking for my sister
>watch people playing golf
>no sister
>go to the river
>no sister
>go to the gate to meet her coming home from school
>no sister
>go to bed
>no sister
>p-perhaps tomorrow will bring sister

[Anonymouṡ No.19097582]

>>19097572
Sounds like Patrick Leigh Fermor. If it is, he really did all that stuff, didn't he? I like the anecdote when he's swimming in a river with his girlfriend and two more girls walk past and laugh at them and he persuades them to join him. Way to go, PLF.

[Anonymous No.19097590]

>>19097555
Aye

[Anonymous No.19097954]

>>19097099
The Beautiful and Damned

[Anonymous No.19098285]

>>19092039
IN PRAISE OF DARKNESS

Old age (the name that others give it)
can be the time of our greatest bliss.
The animal has died or almost died.
The man and his spirit remain.
I live among vague, luminous shapes
that are not darkness yet.
Buenos Aires,
whose edges disintegrated
into the endless plain,
has gone back to being the Recoleta, the Retiro,
the nondescript streets of the Once,
and the rickety old houses
we still call the South.
In my life there were always too many things.
Democritus of Abdera plucked out his eyes in order to think;
Time has been my Democritus.
This penumbra is slow and does not pain me;
it flows down a gentle slope,
resembling eternity.
My friends have no faces,
women are what they were so many years ago,
these corners could be other corners,
there are no letters on the pages of books.
All this should frighten me,
but it is a sweetness, a return.
Of the generations of texts on earth
I will have read only a few-
the ones that I keep reading in my memory,
reading and transforming.
From South, East, West, and North
the paths converge that have led me
to my secret center.
Those paths were echoes and footsteps,
women, men, death-throes, resurrections,
days and nights,
dreams and half-wakeful dreams,
every inmost moment of yesterday
and all the yesterdays of the world,
the Dane’s staunch sword and the Persan’s moon,
the acts of the dead,
shared love, and words,
Emerson and snow, so many things.
Now I can forget them. I reach my center
my algebra and my key,
my mirror.
Soon I will know who I am.

[Anonymous No.19098391]

>>19095693
What is this one?

[Anonymous No.19099086]

>>19092039
I dont read
>super based
>thread closed
>/thread
>its over

[Anonymous No.19100400]

>>19093700
It's not even that it's that pleasurable, or desirable, it's just that the body takes over the mind so easily you just coom, so definetly not a sin because you don't really care, only your body does.

[Anonymous No.19100413]

>>19094140
I still remember when I thought being a smart reddit fellow with knowledge jokes was intelligent, but everyone had that phrase. Watch Swingers, Jon Favreau is playing one of those characters

[Anonymous No.19100422]

>>19096074
Loved CotC. It’s absolute insanity.

[Anonymous No.19102326]

>>19097582
yeah, but come on. It's clearly a fictionalized account. No doubt he went to these places and met some people along the way, but the way it's written he was clearly embellishing a lot of things. Particularly the way he describes people, they all seem like caricatures.

[Anonymous No.19102950]

>>19098391
>>19095809

[Anonymous No.19102991]

>>19102950
Shit, I clocked the wrong one, I knew BNW. Meant to ask about >>19093999

[Anonymous No.19103013]

>>19092039
>be me nicest man alive
>im so simple hearted
>girl with BPD is cute
>wow this tsundere girl sure is cute too
>go to tsundere girls house
>break her mothers expensive vase with my seizure while ranting about catholicism

[Anonymouṡ No.19103408]

>>19103013
Even an idiot could get this.

[Anonymous No.19103468]

Alright /lit/, here's a difficult one since I doubt any of you have read it. It's a classic short story from the 1800's.
>be me
>newly appointed judge of a hundred in Jutland
>meet local priest and his daughter
>beautiful lass
>fall in love and get married
>happiest man in the world
>some time later everything goes wrong
>her dad, the priest, apparently whacked one of his servants with a shovel
>and the servant just disappeared, presumed dead
>lots of people come out and affirm that he really did hit the servant
>one guy even claims he buried the body in the yard
>everyone, me included, rush to the vicar's house
>dig around, finally find a corpse buried in the yard, same clothes as the servant who disappeared
>the penalty for murder is death
>priest and father-in-law swears by all that is holy that he didn't do it
>wife begs me to let him go or give her time to investigate
>im heartbroken
>i give them some time, but nothing turns up, and i sentence the priest to death
>after his death, my wife leaves me never to return
>i become bedridden with shame, disbelief and heartbreak
>i never find out what really happened

[Anonymous No.19103712]

>be me
>handsome, rich fencing champion
>read a book
>get it my head to die "a beautiful death"
>go around asking people how to die a beautiful death
>meet a coward talk big colonel
>cook up a conspiracy to murder old capitalists
>colonel backs out at the last moment
>decide to go through with it anyway
>get caught
>jail
>guy my dad knows works his ass off to get me out
>sneak in to a capitalist's mansion
>stab him again and again
>rush to a cliff nearby and commit suicide just as the sun is about to rise
>retain my purity

[Anonymous No.19103762]

>>19097572
Austerlitz

[Anonymous No.19103781]

>>19103013
>>19103408
Lmfao. This book made me cry ngl.

[Anonymous No.19104440]

>>19094140
Ovid's is called Metamorphoses not Metamorphosis you midwit

[Anonymous No.19104462]

>be me kid who likes ships
>mum invites Sailor over for the night
>tfw catch mum having s*x with the Sailor
>decide to be a Salior myself someday

[Anonymous No.19104482]

>>19092039
>go on a journey to ireland
>on a beach
>see a fisherman chilling in his boat
>approach and join him
>ask him why he's not fishing
>"i am chilling"
>tell him he could get some fish and buy another boat
>tell him he could then buy another and find helpers
>buy an actual big boat and go get even more fish
>start a fishing company
>give him a business plan thinking he'll go fishing
>he asks why would he do that
>"so you can get rich and chill and do nothing when you're older"
>"but i'm chilling and doing nothing right now"
how do I reply anons?

[Anonymous No.19104485]

>>19104462
>kills sailor
The film of this is a true kino

[Anonymous No.19104570]

>>19092039
>kinda bored with life, become sailor
>sorta chill
>meet hot and rich widow on shore leave
>bang her
>decide to get married and quit the sea
>problem.jpeg
>she has a schizo creep of a son
>catch him watching us bang
>decide to take him and his friends hiking to bond a bit
>they all can't wait to hear my stories about sailing
>have some tea

[Anonymous No.19104571]

>>19092039
>be me
>comfy living with my extended family in a fancy home
>surrounded by people who care about me
>feasting on coconuts and mangoes everyday
>beautiful landscape around me that I can explore whenever I want with my sister, cousin and friend
>"life can't get any better"
>go to the movies with the family to watch a fun movie
>old man molests me and cums on my hand
>cousin drowns in a river
>mom fucks bestfriend and destroys family
>get autism
>shipped away from everyone I've loved for 10 years
>fml
>come back to hometown
>get to fuck hot sister
>worthit.jpeg

[Anonymous No.19104578]

>>19103468
No clue but it sounds great

[Anonymous No.19104613]

>>19092039
>be me
>fall for girl
>she's engaged to someone
>become good friends with the couple
>feelings for the girl intensify
>stop seeing them temporarily
>visit them again
>they are now married
>feel completely heartbroken but keep hanging out with the girl
>she tells me to stop visiting her so often
>I visit her one final time and we both feel overwhelmed with emotions after I recite a poem
>I send a letter to his husband asking if he can lend me of his hunting rifles because I'm going on a 'hunting trip'
>they have arrived today

That's it, bros. I can't take it any longer.

[Anonymous No.19105325]

>be me
>be returning from a war caused by a whore
>I say goodbye to my comrades
>we all take different routes
>the weather is fucked up
>my boat is literally fucked by gods
>Ilosteverything.jpg
>my men are dead
>a god is pissed with me so starts fucking me up
>I had to pass many years traveling and seeing the people I meet get killed
>my wife is being pretended by the local incels of my kingdom
>my son administrate my farm
>he is an idiot btw
>I had to have sex with a godess (technically I got raped by her)
>finally start traveling again after being copulating with the godess
>I arrive my home disguised as a poor by a godess
>they don't recognize me, but I can start interfering with their plans
>I kill al the fuckers that were consuming my farm
>I fuck my wife after like 20 years
>I had to leave again walking with a wooden paddle
>some idiot think that it is a shovel
>ok, I can return now