Insane goodreads reviews

[Anonymous No.19064607]

Found this while looking at the reviews for Blood Meridian. Turns out goodreads is a gold mine for insane book reviews, try to find some funny ones for books you enjoy.
>Tried twice, failed twice. Cormac has a good track record with me – Child of God is a 5 star classic, No Country for Old Men is a 4 star classic, and All the Pretty Horses is a solid 3 star.
>I tried reading it as an extended metaphor – The Judge and his band of murdering renegades is like….Corona Virus! Of course! But it got a little tiresome : Judge/Corona comes to town, slaughters people, leaves. Repeat. Repeat without any end in sight.

[Anonymous No.19064622]

Here's another I found while looking at Blood Meridian.
>This book is well written. If I'm a 11th grader, and I need to do a book report, I'm drooling over the blatant symbolism dripping from each page. The scene is set admirably, though the repetitive nature of our brave hero's wanderings (at least it's with symbolic reason) lead to a paucity in novel adjectives by the 13th desert crossing. There are only so many ways one can say that it's hot, dry and empty. And dry. Boy, that sun sure is strong. I'm there, I'm with you, all right, it sucks around here, phew, the sun's really beating down today. And there are a lot of bones. Dead things abound, OK, I get it.
>Then there's the story line. Explain to me again why I'm interested in the wanton marauding of a band of depraved demons?

[Anonymous No.19064627]

>>19064607
imagine getting filtered by ubik of all novels

[Anonymous No.19064637]

[Anonymous No.19064658]

>>19064627
Did he even read it? Holy shit how do you get filtered this hard?

[Anonymous No.19064659]

>>19064607
>>19064622
>>19064627
>>19064637
What gets me is that these people probably think that there is some value to their opinions; why else would they post them? I promise nobody is pining for fuckin Eric's hot take on Blood Meridian

[Anonymous No.19064671]

>>19064637
>that profile pic
>ugh, fictional racism hurts!
Come on.

[Anonymous No.19064683]

>>19064659
>What gets me is that these people probably think that there is some value to their opinions; why else would they post them?
Good question.
Personally the reviews I post on (site similar to goodreads) are 10 lines MAX, and I write them mostly as a reminder for myself, I don't expect anyone to read them

[Anonymous No.19064707]

[Anonymous No.19064736]

>>19064622
I just hate these types that act like they know everything about the world and human nature just by sitting in their aprtments and with only 2 decades under their belt.

[Anonymous No.19064741]

>>19064637
What's the cat's name?

[Anonymous No.19064743]

>>19064741
Adpocalyptic

[Anonymous No.19064760]

>>19064607
>all the pretty horses 3 stars
I think that's what I rated it too, possibly 4, but a 2 star book for me is 60-70 out of 100. This guy rated a book he couldn't finish 2 stars out of 5? Bullshit. He shouldn't be rating it at all -- he didn't read the entire book.
This guy rated All the Pretty Horses, an incredibly beautiful novel, only 1 star higher? Elephant shit

[Anonymous No.19064762]

>>19064659
obsessive reviewers consider their opinions their life's work and possibly the only influence they'll ever have on the world at large. it's sad and yet it's more than most will ever do. everyone is going to come up with a cope for irrelevance

[Anonymous No.19064788]

>>19064659
The ultimate midwit indicator
Whenever they get filtered, they feel the need to justify themselves with these long-ass reviews. Didn’t “get” Faulkner? Can’t believe these stupid modernists feel the need to throw in all this stupid symbolism just to seem more complex. Can’t appreciate Moby-Dick? Dumb whaling manual, nobody actually enjoys it (and then there’s a long tangent about how literature needs to be enjoyable or something). Can’t stomach Lolita? Disgusting, pervy book.
They’ll always find a way to explain why our literary culture is wrong and their YA and genre fic ought to be the standard.

[Anonymous No.19064798]

>>19064607
>good authors can write a bad book
>the silmarillion

[Anonymous No.19064926]

>>19064741
Negrito

[Anonymous No.19064955]

>>19064798
That's bad author / bad book though.

[Anonymous No.19065193]

>>19064659
> I promise nobody is pining for fuckin Eric's hot take on Blood Meridian
I uh...haven't read Blood Meridian yet and...I uh...wasn't planning on giving my hot take but you know what? NOW I WILL! FUCK YOU PUSSY.

[Anonymous No.19065246]

>>19064741
NIGGER MAN!!!!! THERE I said IT SOME ONE HAD TO!!!!!

[Anonymous No.19065488]

>>19064955
Cringe.

[Anonymous No.19065502]

>>19064955
based. hobbit was his best

[Anonymous No.19065511]

>>19064627
Imagine reading the absolute drivel that’s Dick.

[Anonymous No.19065660]

Goodreads is a goldmine for retards experiencing cognitive dissonance. Look at the reviews for anything from the western canon and you’ll find a bunch of snarky 1 star reviews that basically say “I didn’t understand what was going on so I stopped reading”. Bonus points if you check out their profile and find they only read young adult books or erotic fiction.

[Anonymous No.19065672]

>>19064659
you're putting too much stock in someone sharing their opinions online, anon

[Anonymous No.19065675]

[Anonymous No.19065689]

>>19064607
blood meridian is a pretty shit book though

[Anonymous No.19065718]

>>19064622

> as far as my unlearned mind can concoct at the moment

New Waldun pseudonym?

[Anonymous No.19065725]

>>19065660
I've noticed that this applies to Call of the Crocodile. It's either "I don't like all the commas" or "Wow that was great!"

[Anonymous No.19065730]

>>19065689
t.paul

[Anonymous No.19065732]

>>19065725
That book is an old meme that’s been out for a year and it took you this fucking long to notice that? This place is filled with snarky contrarians.

[Anonymous No.19065735]

>>19065725
>Implying the author didn’t insert all the commas deliberately to filter out the retards

[Anonymouṡ No.19065871]

She's right, you know. A frog really couldn't pull off a daring prison break disguised as a washerwoman. It's completely implausible.

[Anonymouṡ No.19065879]

Poor Maggie. We feel your pain. (We don't understand it, but we feel it.)

The book: Waiting for Godot

[Anonymous No.19065885]

>>19064607

[Anonymouṡ No.19065886]

What Jess needs is someone to call her an elf and/or a pixie.

The book is guessable: Jane Eyre

[Anonymous No.19065890]

>>19065885

[Anonymous No.19065893]

[Anonymous No.19065894]

>>19065893
classic

[Anonymous No.19065905]

[Anonymouṡ No.19065908]

This one is surreal. Literally impossible to guess (this author never uses bad language).

The book: The Long Goodbye

[Anonymouṡ No.19065910]

>>19065905
That's cute and succinct, though. It might be wrong but it's 100x better than most of them.

[Anonymous No.19065913]

[Anonymous No.19065921]

>>19065886
I thought him being an asshole was part of the message?

[Anonymous No.19065927]

>>19064607
>paul Bryant
oh, this man is a frequent sight in top-rated reviews. you'd want to percieve him as cultured, but he's unbearably sογ. look at this shit.

[Anonymous No.19065981]

>>19065885
a female opinion. incomplete without blogposting.

[Anonymouṡ No.19065988]

No chance of guessing the book. I just think it's funny that she made so little impression on her teacher he flipped a coin between this book and Rabbit, Run. He obviously had no idea who she was.

The book: Emma

[Anonymous No.19066001]

There's this one historical topic I love and this tranny has reviewed literally every single book I care about somehow alongside a very based reviewer who makes a fucking essay for each book.

[Anonymous No.19066682]

>>19065879
this one is fair enough; seems honest without being insulting.

[Anonymous No.19066698]

>>19065988
lol shouldn't this one be the other way around?

[Anonymous No.19066786]

>>19064760
>He shouldn't be rating it at all -- he didn't read the entire book.
this is such a midwit take. If a book is so bad you didn't even want to finish it, there's next to no chance it'll be better in the second half, and a book that doesn't carry you to "the good part" is a bad book anyway.

[Anonymous No.19066794]

>>19065871
Have you considered it's possible that you just don't know the right kind of frogs?

[Anonymous No.19066804]

>>19065885
>try reading image
>eyes go out of focus
>letters turn into weird, sanskrit-esque symbols
guys I think I'm going to go lay down now

[Anonymous No.19066932]

>>19066786
He knows he won't like the rest of the book so it's fine for him to quit. Nothing wrong with that and nothing wrong with telling people he didn't like it and couldn't finish it. He shouldn't be rating the book if he didn't read the entire thing though.

[Anonymous No.19066937]

>>19064607
Suttree is his magnum opus. Blood Meridian is just really critically acclaimed.

[Anonymous No.19066952]

>>19064798
Was a collection of reference material for his other books. Was never meant to be published.

[Anonymous No.19066977]

how about that one persian guy that has reviewed like a million books but his reviews are always just the book blurb first in English then in Sanskrit

[Anonymous No.19066985]

>>19066977
kek this one's a local beloved weirdo. he adds literally nothing of personal opinion into those blurbs, just sits there shitting out dozens of descriptive 'reviews' a day, like a madman categorizing the babylonian library

[Anonymous No.19066996]

>>19065981
Buzzfeedbrain

[Anonymous No.19067075]

The book: Thucydides - The Peloponnesian War
> Almost no character development and you can't relate to the few interesting characters out there. Also the narration is too in-your-face and the plot is unnecessarily convoluted. I did not enjoy this book. Also, spoilers: Athens loses.

[Anonymous No.19067284]

>>19065885
Someone let this poor woman know how to make a blog so she doesn’t need to cram all her thoughts into a book review

[Anonymous No.19067293]

>>19065981

I fucking hate these retards that exaggerate their views and post photos and over-express stupid shit without substance.

I write long reviews of the books I read, but I keep a coherent post, analysis, not this facebook shit.

[Anonymous No.19067297]

>>19065927
it's been years since I've used the site, but this guy sticks out in my mind as the absolute fucking worst. deserves credit for leaving an impression I guess.

[Anonymous No.19067322]

>>19064627
He's a fucking egg!

[Anonymous No.19067339]

>>19064659
They believe themselves morally and intellectually superior to the rest of the world.

[Anonymous No.19067362]

>>19066952
You don't even have to read a fucking biography.
>Tolkien wished to publish his mythology (The Silmarillion) after The Hobbit. In late 1937 Unwin examined the Quenta Silmarillion, the Lay of Leithian, and other manuscripts, but he and critic Edward Crankshaw thought it was unsuitable for publication, especially in its current form.[2][note 1] Unwin didn't reject the Silmarillion, but instead of being published as a mythology, he proposed that it should rather be used as source to write "further books like The Hobbit".[3][4]:p. lxxi

Tolkien liked Rayner but, as he said, didn't like much his father, despite their friendly relations. He resented the rejection of The Silmarillion and considered giving The Lord of the Rings to another publisher who would accept to publish both works; but he felt morally obliged to Unwin because of his promise for a sequel, and their personal friendship, and proceeded with him.[5] On the matter of publishing both works, Rayner suggested to his father to have one of Tolkien's sons to edit some parts of the Silmarillion for publication with the Lord of the Rings and later drop it. This infuriated Tolkien who put an ultimatum to Unwin, to which he replied "no" as he didn't have enough time.[6][4]:p. xxx This started a feud between Tolkien and Allen & Unwin.

[Anonymous No.19067403]

Someone post the nietzsche bitch talking about Evola. Her ig was smth like Android girl

[Anonymous No.19067430]

>>19064637
Is the word “nigger” offensive? I think most people would agree that it is, yes.
Is having a cat named “Niggerman” something as shockingly racist as this person seems to think? No. It’s literally a cat’s name. He’s not berating black people and calling them names. It’s just a cat’s name that has a bad word

[Anonymous No.19067433]

>>19065246

[Anonymous No.19067666]

>>19064659
>>19064762

I review everything I read as a way of "taking notes". I try to describe everything I've read in the review which works like a thought exercise to put everything together to see what I've got out of it. Then I keep it there in case I want to check it later on (don't have to bother saving txt files or anything). Maybe someone enjoys it, who knows, or my take might help him get a new perspective. Now I'm reading a philosophy collection translated into romanian, so naturally the books don't have many reviews (if any), so I'm trying to populate the section a bit as well.

[Anonymous No.19067714]

>>19067293
>I fucking hate these retards that exaggerate their views and post photos and over-express stupid shit without substance.
So... the average 4chan user?

[Anonymous No.19067814]

>>19067714

Well at least on 4chan you get some fun out of it, but these people on goodreads that are proffessional reviewers are just cringe. They read only stupid YA shit then review it like it changed their life with the more cliche phrases and a ton of references to a bunch of mediocre movies and abusing gifs usage or shit like holy fuck bro get a personality.

[Anonymous No.19068417]

>>19064607
Being raped is impowering, and it definitely has nothing to do with the authors sexual fantasies.

[Anonymous No.19068511]

Yikes, the Judge should really get cancelled for his behavior in those chapters. At the very least he should be banned from reddit. Anyway, what was I saying

[Anonymous No.19068525]

>>19065672
why are posts that end with anon the only reasonable ones, anon?

[Anonymous No.19068555]

>>19064607
Big ups on the John fahey profile pic, all is forgiven

[Anonymous No.19068601]

>>19065981
is this review an example of toxic positivity or do I have a warped sense for happiness?

[Anonymous No.19068608]

>>19064622
Eric is an idiot. He actually pulls the
>actually that's not how it was back then
card when Cormac RESEARCHED THIS TOPIC AND THE GLANTON GANG FOR YEARS.
He is so uncomfortable with truth he pretends it isn't real. Hmmmm sounds like some people that Eric definitely criticizes....yet he is guilty of the same thing.

[Anonymous No.19068768]

>>19064607

[Anonymous No.19068917]

>>19064607
That Paul fellow always appears and his reviews always suck

[Anonymous No.19070174]

>>19064741

[Anonymous No.19070220]

>>19067430
Have the name of a cat being Niggerman is just silly.

[Anonymous No.19070246]

i laffed

[Anonymous No.19071592]

bump

[Anonymous No.19071602]

>>19068917
I hate him

[Anonymous No.19071603]

>>19064671
People who put on a tough guy image like that are always the biggest pussies. See: Henry Rollins