/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.19008696]

Hello, /lit/. I'm in need of advice but I'm also looking for books that may be of help to someone in my situation. There's one thing above all else which is my lack of interest in the world around me. My parents (I live at home) currently think I'm starting some mid-semester classes at a university when I haven't done anything since spring. Not sure how I'm going to break the news, it's not even something I think about because I just don't give a shit. It's not even laziness. I know what I can do when I put even a slight amount of effort into my studies, I just can't be bothered to on a bigger scale. I feel like my time in college has been nothing but me prolonging the inevitable (graduation) for as long as possible, and I'm at the point now where my peers from high school have graduated by now. What should I do, honestly? Is there anything I can do? You often hear about so many people in this society with large ambition, big plans, "caring about their future" "dream jobs" and stuff of that sort, but I personally have no idea what desire even is. I've never felt any urge aside from squandering potential, and even that seems more unconscious than anything.

[Anonymous No.19008703]

>>19008696
didnt read
start with the greeks

[Anonymous No.19008710]

>>19008696
Nice blog. No words I string together are going to impart upon you the desire to learn. One day you will wake up and realize what you should have been doing the whole time. But it's not going to happen for a while, zoomer child.

[Anonymous No.19008731]

>>19008703
>start with the greeks
I respect your dedication
>>19008710
>No words I string together are going to impart upon you the desire to learn
This is true.
>One day you will wake up and realize what you should have been doing the whole time. But it's not going to happen for a while, zoomer child.
This is the thing, I know what I should have been doing, I know it perfectly well. Where there should be regret there is instead just emptiness.

[Anonymous No.19008746]

>>19008696
Stop posting jezebels.
Coffee is good in moderation.

[Anonymous No.19008758]

>>19008746
>Stop posting jezebels
Only posted it to get people in here.
>Coffee is good in moderation.
I drink coffee.

[Anonymous No.19008769]

I know people who were like this and now they're 35-40 year old drug addicts on the dole. The tragedy of being young is you have so much influence over your future but no perspective on it whatsoever.

Maybe you have some schizotypal disorder or some shit and need to work on that long term, or maybe you're some kind of deep poetic soul whose true destiny is to drop out of society and write the ultimate rejection of it, but look at it this way, even if something like this is true, you're still going to want to not be an unemployed faggot on the dole at 35 years old because you can't get started in anything in life because you got C's and B's in university. You don't know how you're going to feel or especially who you're going to be in 5 years, but trust me, statistically speaking you are going to be someone, with concrete desires and goals, even if it's only a stepping stone to something amazing 20 or 40 years from now. And when that day comes, when you do feel motivation and goal-orientation for the first time, and you concomitantly have your first realization of "uh oh I have no resources and I'm a dead beat in a hole ten feet deep because I've jerked around for 6 years and my unfinished bachelor's degree is a massive red flag on any job application but I need money and freedom to be able to do my real long term goals.." you're going to hate yourself for how much of that freedom you blew out your ass right now.

Unless you are somehow sure already as a little zoomer baby that you're going to have a cool drifter lifestyle for 50 years, and money and resources will just come to you, you should do the same middle of the road bare minimum effort everybody else does to get B's and A's and have the piece of paper. If you switch careers ten times, if you drop off the earth to take LSD for a decade and then come back to society, if you go to a shamanic retreat in Indonesia for 6 years and then come back and want to found a karate dojo, if you start a multi-level marketing cult, if you become a struggling solo guitarist or cartoonist, if you end up meeting the love of your life and learning that your entire purpose in existence is to love and care for your children, or even if you just have a change of heart and decide you want to be a relatively stable hedonist for a few decades, all of these are better served by getting the piece of paper. You have no idea what levels of misery are possible for 10 foot deep hole dwellers in their 30s who finally get the reality check that the hole is getting deeper every year.

[Anonymous No.19008810]

>>19008769
>Maybe you have some schizotypal disorder or some shit and need to work on that long term
I've considered that I might. As for everything else, there is just nothing there. I see no future for myself in this society and I want nothing to do with it, but I also don't give a fuck about voicing my opinions about being anti-society like you mentioned. I'm not anti-'society' as a construct, I just hate the culture I was born into, but I don't pine for another time, I believe I was born here and now because that's just how it is. No mistakes.
>You don't know how you're going to feel or especially who you're going to be in 5 years
In all honesty I'll have probably shot myself by then. When I say there isn't much keeping me tethered to the world I mean it.

[Anonymous No.19008826]

>>19008731
>This is the thing, I know what I should have been doing, I know it perfectly well. Where there should be regret there is instead just emptiness.
No, you think you know what you should have been doing. You have social and societal pressures upon you to 'know what you should have been doing' but that's not what I mean. Again, it's not something I can quite put into words, but one day you will just wake up knowing what to do. What actually drives you.

[Anonymous No.19008832]

>>19008731
>I know what I should have been doing
no, you dont

[Anonymous No.19008851]

>>19008826
>but one day you will just wake up knowing what to do. What actually drives you.
I feel like this is akin to waiting for a dragon to be perched atop my house. I can hardly even imagine that happening, it feels like I would have to not be me to experience any kind of drive.

[Anonymous No.19008870]

>>19008851
You have enough will to respond to my post. The fact that you made this thread means you are to the point of screaming into the void, but not yet at the point to take action or to decide on anything. The good news is, because you are thinking about it, the wake up effect will happen eventually. Like when you attempt to learn something new on guitar and you can't quite get it but magically the next morning you can do it perfectly. It's surprising and it takes time.

[Anonymous No.19008880]

>>19008870
>the wake up effect will happen eventually.
not a guarantee

[Anonymous No.19008895]

>>19008880
Nothing in life is a guarantee, but you don't sound like someone who cares enough to change. Might as well hope you'll change in your sleep, or die. Either one will put you out of your current inescapable misery of your own creation.

[Anonymous No.19008904]

>>19008769
blablabla
bullshit. degrees dont mean jack shit anymore because women and niggers diluted it into meaninglessness

[Anonymous No.19008916]

>>19008870
>You have enough will to respond to my post. The fact that you made this thread means you are to the point of screaming into the void, but not yet at the point to take action or to decide on anything
The thing is, I don't even know where to start. There's simply no desire where it 'should' be. Most people would look at me like I'm absolutely insane. That desire is inborn in most people. Am I defective?
>>19008895
That wasn't me

[Anonymous No.19008924]

>>19008895
I'm not the OP. but you incessant optimists always throw in lines like that without thinking. And then when someone pessimistic pushes you on it you'll always just say 'ok well then kill yourself loser' which exposes your real ugly unsympathetic soul.

[Anonymous No.19008933]

>>19008924
I've noticed that too kek, they so quickly become vindictive and cruel

[Anonymous No.19008952]

>>19008696
You're not going to grasp the meaning of certain things until you start doing them.

[Anonymous No.19008964]

>>19008933
at least Schopenhauer understands

[Anonymous No.19010162]

>>19008696
Read Bartleby the Scrivener. It's shortish, funny, and sad.

[Anonymous No.19011573]

>>19008746
>Stop posting jezebels.
>Coffee is good in moderation.

[Anonymous No.19012085]

>>19008696
I think I know exactly this feel. As >>19008710 said nobody can tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I think I did.
>retreat, retreat hard
I eliminated things and called them experiments. Meat, sugar, all food, sleep, internet, bed, home. All that shit at once or one by one.
>exercise
Ended up running and cycling long distances because that keeps you healthy while you do the "retreating".
>create
Life imitates art. So you do whatever art you can in order to figure out what life you are destined for.

[Anonymous No.19012095]

https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1630751880340.webm

[Anonymous No.19012100]

>>19008696
Didn't read your post. What is the !$#% girl in the video saying?

[Anonymous No.19012108]

ALL SIMPS MUST FUCK OFF

[Anonymous No.19012114]

>>19012095
That is an incredibly good looking girl, possible contender for PGOAT

[Anonymous No.19012176]

>>19008769
not op but im a zoomer baby that hasnt been to school since 7th grade because of various reasons (im 19 now). ive struggled with motivation to get my life in check but this post really helps, ty anon :)

[Anonymous No.19013176]

>>19008696
First off, come clean. The only reason you're posting this thread is because the lie is about to crumble into a million pieces while you're trying to procrastinate telling them up to the final moment. They're going to freak out because most parents are incapable of understanding why a kid whom they 'raised' doesn't desire anything.

[Anonymous No.19013332]

>>19008769
Student loan cope
>t. Six figure salary who didn't finish highschool

[Anonymous No.19013373]

>>19008696
Your description matches me perfectly, except I haven't done anything since spring of 2020.
I still haven't particularly figured it out, but as a guy that's further down the line, this is what you have to look forward to if you don't get back on the horse:
>and I'm at the point now where my peers from high school have graduated by now.
If you feel shitty about this, learn to cope with this ASAP. Any feeling about getting left behind will get so much worse when they all start getting jobs.
>My parents (I live at home) currently think I'm starting some mid-semester classes at a university when I haven't done anything since spring. Not sure how I'm going to break the news
Do this sooner than later. I personally don't regret anything about not having the desire to continue my classes (how could I? I can't make myself care), but I regret more than anything lying to my father about it and betraying his trust. It's one thing to feel like a loser dropout, it's another thing to feel like a loser dropout and a slimy liar.
>I've never felt any urge aside from squandering potential
If you in any way value yourself as "someone with potential", the disappointment and shame you will feel to yourself will become unbearable sometimes. Make sure your other qualities compensate enough to replace it so you don't feel like total shit.

Let me know when you figure it out!