/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.18921442]

Why haven't you read the Bible yet /lit/?

[Anonymous No.18921454]

>>18921442
Antisemitism.

[Anonymous No.18921458]

>>18921442
It's incredibly boring and very weird.

[Anonymous No.18921459]

Because my dad is an ex-Catholic and my brother is a fedora-tipping Reddit atheist and I don't want to read it in front of them.

[Anonymous No.18921465]

It's boring.

t.ex christfag

[Anonymous No.18921471]

I tried to read it way back when but it was like trying to eat handfuls of undiluted turmeric, a chore.

[Anonymous No.18921486]

>>18921442
" 24. And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the LORD met him, and sought to kill him.
25. Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, "Surely a bloody husband art thou to me."
26. So he let him go: then she said, A bloody husband thou art, because of the circumcision."

Yes, we should all read a book about Jews cutting off their infant sons' foreskins so God doesn't kill them. It's the pinnacle of literary achievement.

[Anonymous No.18921530]

>>18921442
I have read bits. It's amazing.

[Anonymous No.18921538]

>Why haven't you read the Bible yet /lit/?
Because I barely read. I struggle through 10 pages a day.

[Anonymous No.18921593]

started reading the new testament and boy is it a slog
>The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the sone of David, the sone of Abraham.
>Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; And Jacob begat Judas and his brethren;
>And Judas begat Phares and Zara of Thamar; and Phares begat Esrom; and Esrom begat Aram;
>And Aram begat Aminadab; and Aminadab begat Naasson; and Naasson begat Salmon;
>And...
you get the idea. it's like that book in the iliad that everyone skips

[Anonymous No.18921613]

>>18921593
It's ok to skim such content unless you're taking notes and memorizing the entire genealogy for some reason. Are you new to reading? :3

[Anonymous No.18921625]

>>18921459
read it behind them anon, just pray they don't turn

[Anonymous No.18921632]

>>18921613
it doesn't bode well for the rest of the book if the writer is this longwinded from the get-go. even proust is more exciting than this tripe

[Anonymous No.18921638]

>>18921442
is there any point in reading just some of it? i'm not against reading it at all but fuck off am i reading the whole thing, too much other shit i care about to bother with that
what are the good parts bros? is there a chart for the relevant shit?

[Anonymous No.18921670]

>>18921593
Have you tried doing the gematria on Jesus’ genealogy??

[Anonymous No.18921745]

>>18921442
But I did. Please stop assuming I'm illiterate like the idiots above me.

[Anonymous No.18921756]

I read Matthew yesterday, left me sad. The bit when the "cock crows" and Peter realizes he's betrayed Jesus as prophesised was a really powerful scene.

Also, do the other Gospels explain what happened to Jesus after his resurrection, did he go to South America like the Mormons think or did he go back to Heaven?

[Anonymous No.18921994]

>>18921593
Anon, that's like the first bit of the first Gospel... just skim over it? It's not even very long and I can't recall much else of the New Testament which is similar.

[Anonymous No.18922003]

>>18921756
He ascended to heaven, it's not really noted in Mathew for whatever reason lol

[Anonymous No.18922008]

>>18921442
I read Ecclesiastes and book of Thomas.
Rest is trash.

[Anonymous No.18922094]

>>18921442
Because I'm reading picrel

[Anonymous No.18922099]

>>18921442
too much other stuff to read first

[Anonymous No.18922107]

I’ll just watch evangelion instead, that’s like two bibles

[Anonymous No.18922190]

>>18922099
You should read the Bible first idiot

[Anonymous No.18923079]

>>18921458
it really is boring but it's one of the few books you can quote to non-readers and not be seen as a complete schizo

[Anonymous No.18923233]

>>18921471
Tastelet

[Anonymous No.18924524]

>>18921670
do i do this with the hebraic names, their anglicized versions, or their greek translations?

[Anonymous No.18924580]

>>18924524
It's the greek translation apparently, if you google you'll find versions of this meme with even more constraints. None reports the actual greek text, I wonder if it's true and if anyone verified it.
I tried and it turns out that not even the total number of words is divisible by 7 but maybe I used the wrong version or maybe counted the words wrong.

[Anonymous No.18924760]

Watch the biblical lectures by Jordan Peterson first, then you can perhaps appreciate it more

[Anonymous No.18925043]

>>18921458
>>18921465
>>18921471
>>18921593
What are your favourite books?
>>18921442
Im reading it. Currently started 1Sam. During my first year at the university i read the gospels and the acts.

[Anonymous No.18925045]

>>18921458
Check out the book of Judges
>Fat king gets stabbed and the whole sword disappears into his belly
>Woman kills enemy general w/ a tent peg thru his head
>Samson kills hundreds w/ donkey's jawbone

[Anonymous No.18925052]

>>18922190
You should read The Idiot first Bible

[Anonymous No.18925055]

>>18925045
Plus the rape and the consequent dismemberment of the whore of some richfag

[None !mS1dPSgQ8Y No.18925269]

>>18921442
I read some portions because I was raised in a Christian household, it's excruciatingly boring and schizophrenic, thank "God" most Christians don't really read the bible, they would be worse than Mudslimes, if they weren't already. There are just better books out there, the only reasons that I could think of to read the bible are to: read it because you believe or read it for academic purpose. The later could be good depending on the field, either way it's a waste of time, it's 2 times the length of Don Quixote, but unlike Cervantes the writers are mentally ill.

[Anonymous No.18925281]

>>18921442
Done with Genesis and Exodus but I'm dreading Leviticus.

[Anonymous No.18925332]

>>18925281
Many such cases.
Paralipomenon may be the biggest challenge though, or maybe the 'big prophets'.
When I read the full Bible, after reading Jeremiah, Isaiah and Ezechiel, I found Daniel incredibly good and entertaining - and with the interesting historical context aswell.
I reread the book recently and was surprised how non-entertaining it is when you haven't just finished the epitome of boring books beforehand.

[Anonymous No.18925382]

>>18925269
Don't remember Don Quijote being so long.

[None !mS1dPSgQ8Y No.18925460]

>>18925382
That's because it's good and enjoyable, you don't feel its length.

Word count:
DQ = 381 104
Bible = 783 137

[Anonymous No.18925597]

>>18925460
Wtf. It took me over four months to read the Bible. Don Quijote was like a month.

[Anonymous No.18925611]

>>18921442

Finished the KJB last week. It was a rewarding read. I honestly came away with a lot from my first read.

[Anonymous No.18925627]

>>18924524
You do it with the KJV because that was produced when the British nobility and their artisans were heavily into Rosicrucian gematria.

[Anonymous No.18925634]

I read the KJB last December and while I enjoyed it from a quasi historical and literary sense. It made me feel less Christian. Especially the Old Testament.

[Anonymous No.18925768]

>>18921442
Which version should I read?

[Anonymous No.18925781]

>>18925634
When you go to church is there a multimedia display and a rock band?

[Anonymous No.18925782]

>>18925597
I'm surprised too. I would swear the Bible is like four times longer than Don Quixote.

[Anonymous No.18925815]

>>18921442
it's boring af I'd rather read stirner

[Anonymous No.18925846]

>>18921442
Got bored at genesis

[Anonymous No.18925879]

>>18925782
>four times longer
I would even say more. Which canon/translation did you base the word count on? I read the Cath canon in a Czech translation that used longer passages if multiple exist.. maybe the Evangelical canon would take a couple weeks less, especially with a briefer translation.