[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature


View post   

File: 2.59 MB, 2156x2614, ukrainian hobo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18880294 No.18880294 [Reply] [Original]

Anyone else here /literarygenius/?

This is not ironic, or a shitpost. I once made my attractive female English professor break down into tears with my genius. It was like the scene in Good Will Hunting where the math professor breaks down after Will easily solves the math problems he was given, saying "there are some days where I wish you didn't exist." She thought it was probably the best thing that she had ever read from the last 20 or so years. Yes, we did have sex eventually. I write the greatest work out there today. You pathetic posers will probably try to project onto me and deny it, but it's true, and I don't need to prove it to a bunch of sad anime-watching, hentai-jerking retards on the internet, so no, I will not post my work. No, I'm not scared or doubtful of my work, I just don't want my name to be ever associated with this sad little website. I have read most of the Western Canon, am fluent in 6 languages (Russian, Mandarin, Latin, Greek, Spanish, and of course, English), and my poetry and prose are both at the level of Joyce's. A different professor of mine once said that if I do not go down in literary history, then literary history has failed us. I once met with Bloom in person, where we had a deep and detailed conversation about Faulkner, and he told me that I was "incredibly competent and wise young man." My philosophy professor praised my work in philosophy, but as my true strength remains in art, also told me that a poem of mine "has the emotional depth of Coleridge and the precise linguistic mastery of Yeats." Upon graduating college, I will publish my masterpiece which will undoubtedly shock the literary world. It is profoundly imaginative, reaches a level of linguistic perfection on the level of Flaubert, and effortlessly dismantles the superficiality and degeneration of modern culture with a violent and powerful personal confession, reaching beyond the modern age to something much greater. I am 6'2" and very good looking, so I have many female admirers, but I have often ignored them for the sake of literary greatness. I have even received a love letter from a lovely petite brunette in my sophomore year. After being accepted into a highly selective program at my university (highly prestigious, of course, but I will not name it for the previously articulated reason), I have had the opportunity to work with the greatest poets alive today, all of whom have been blown away by my work. After publishing my work, I plan to study at Oxford or to travel around Russia, my homeland.

I hope there are some of my kind on this website, with whom I can talk about literature and philosophy at a level that I find appealing and worthy of me. It is difficult to find people like this at university, of course, which is so full of pretention, insecurity and stupidity. My life is not lonely, aside from the fundamental loneliness that affects us all, but the life at the top of the peak is often frustrating, as most of you imagine.

>> No.18880299

sneed

>> No.18880301

>>18880294
That's good m8, gl with your writing

>> No.18880434

It is said that I was brought into this world in the typical fashion: with much sobbing and many tears. But they were not mine. The doctors and nurses heard my gentle cooing, loaded with poetic resonance and deep thematic symbolism, and they all immediately began weeping. My mother told me that although many had been born before me, it was only on that day that anyone began to live.

A letter came to my house on my fifth birthday. Sent by a coalition of writers (Nabokov, Joyce, Etc.) stretching all the way back to the dawn of time. Apparently it had been passed down from one master to the next, each one adding some secret insight into the art of literature. The instructions on the envelope begged that it should be burned unopened, lest their inferior prose should infect my mind and hinder humanity's progress in the arts. I ignored their instructions and have been no worse for it.

At the age of ten I was invited to Harvard to give a guest lecture on the proper placement of semicolons. Many female coeds fought for the privilege of taking my virginity. They were disappointed, because to join me in the bed of passion is an act of such purity that they all left with their own virginity restored.

You have already read my work. Every single book written in the last five years was mine. "Even the bad ones?" you ask. No, those books weren't bad, they are actually really good in a way that you couldn't possibly comprehend.

Am I lonely? You might think so, because you are of inferior mind. But not me. I have /lit/. It is here that I come to entertain myself by writing hundreds upon hundreds of posts every single day, entertaining every thought possible on the art of literature. Every post here, except for yours, were all written by me. I don't expect you to believe me. In fact, I knew you wouldn't. Because I wrote you as well, and even now I am writing your fate. Alas, I regret to inform you that I have grown bored with your development as a character. By the time you finish this sentence, you will be dead.

>> No.18880445

>>18880294
Lmao this is good

>> No.18880601

>>18880294
>I once met with Bloom in person, where we had a deep and detailed conversation about Faulkner, and he told me that I was "incredibly competent and wise young man."
missing an indefinite article

>> No.18880610

>>18880294
Saving this, God bless you.

>> No.18880611

>>18880601
He was pretending to be Russian as a callback to an earlier part of the conversation.

>> No.18880619

>>18880611
what deft usage of language. i truly am not worthy.

>> No.18881348
File: 1.70 MB, 2082x3000, MV5BOTY2NzFjODctOWUzMC00MGZhLTlhNjMtM2Y2ODBiNGY1ZWRiXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMDM2NDM2MQ@@._V1_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18881348

>>18880294
It seems we are in a similar situation. If it is to be true that you are an intellectual rival to me, how about we discuss a topic that no midwit in the world could even begin to understand. Did you enjoy the movie Free Guy? I loved how it was a nuanced satire of videogames and the morality behind it. My favorite part is the fact that the movie is called "Free Guy" when he is indeed, NOT a Free Guy, it may be the single greatest irony ever created.

>> No.18881406

>>18880294
>my poetry and prose are both at the level of Joyce's
You mean your poetry is very unremarkable but your prose is god-tier?

>> No.18881489

>>18880294
This is my fantasy too, even the Russian part.

>> No.18881492

>>18880294
And then everyone clapped and queued up to kiss his dick in turn

>> No.18881522

>>18880294
New pasta just dropped. Based sex-haver.

>> No.18881531

>>18880294
Is this a copypasta? Cause it will be now.

>> No.18881547
File: 1.35 MB, 3463x1999, 1609027837322.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18881547

I'm 19 years old.

I am handsome, smart, athletic and virile.

I have a novel that is in it's final editing stage, and a creative writing professor at my college has read the first draft and thinks it's saleable.

I have a girlfriend who is confident, articulate, playful and spontaneous.

I have a small group of interesting friends from different social and academic backgrounds, and I also have many other acquaintances who see me as a reliable source of humour and good company.

Both my parents are alive and in good health.

I have no regrets.

I have already experienced three existential crises, the latter of which was described as having the depth and profundity of a man twice my age.

I am a passionate lover, a sharp thinker, and a trader of witty repartee.

I am not self-pitying, meek or needlessly humble.

I will live a good life at your expense. My name is John.

>> No.18881567

>>18880294
This is what how I fantasize myself if I was given another shot at life with everything I know now.

>> No.18882311

>>18881547
>I have a girlfriend

I fucked her

>> No.18882362
File: 17 KB, 480x360, E47B7E30-6A32-468C-A6DB-30BFA532EE84.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18882362

>>18880434
At the age of ten I was invited to Harvard to give a guest lecture on the proper placement of semicolons. Many female coeds fought for the privilege of taking my virginity. They were disappointed, because to join me in the bed of passion is an act of such purity that they all left with their own virginity restored.

>> No.18882403

>>18882311
Kek

>> No.18882410

>>18880294
Cool cool, drop some book recs anon

>> No.18882415

>>18880294
cool story

>> No.18882416

>>18880434
Literally me

>> No.18882421
File: 11 KB, 242x251, bb2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18882421

/lit/ equivalent of pic related

>> No.18882438

>>18880294
Yes same here OP

>> No.18882440

Insanely narcissistic. Are geniuses supposed to be narcissistic? If you were a true genius you would hide it, wouldn't you?

>> No.18882476

>>18881547
>experienced three existential crises
you can only have one existential crisis - if you were able to have another you did not finish the first

>> No.18882482

>>18882362
kek

>> No.18882490
File: 356 KB, 1219x1280, ouroboros snake.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18882490

--Mind
Opposition to spirituality
Consciousness
Logic system

--Cosmology
Something out of nothing
Cosmic purpose
Free will

--Values
Meaning of life
Brotherhood
Good and evil

https://medium.com/illumination/manifesto-of-coeus-answering-all-the-fundamental-questions-of-life-b6bf676113d

>> No.18882554

>>18880294
No in fact I am largely ignored by common folk, peers, and superiors alike.
I suspect my greatness will come to be appreciated following my own expiry.

>> No.18882900

>>18881522
>New

>> No.18882907

>>18880299
Damn this post made me laugh so much

>> No.18883673
File: 19 KB, 554x554, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18883673

>>18880294

>> No.18883697

>>18882490
Ah shit, you've woken the schizos.

>> No.18883896

>>18882476
His soul is large enough to take the existential space of three normal men's, and requires multiple emotional frequencies to fully envelop in crisis.

>> No.18884175

The first few sentences are very funny, but you go over the edge from the sentence "Yes, we did have sex", and from that point the whole piece degenerates.

Good effort, though. The beginning made me lol

>> No.18884180

>>18880301
>>18881522
>>18881531
Lurk moar