books about infatuation

[Anonymous No.18828112]

I'm struggling with this disease of the mind.
I have been infatuated with a female who doesn't even know I exist and if she does probably only has the deepest of contemptable indifference towards me.
She looks so pure.
She is probably my image of the perfect female I didn't even know existed in this form.
It is crushing, but also very exciting to act out my beta incel creep ways and stare at her and follow her around.
I feel like such an insignificant worm and I know I would never be able to say anything to her.
Also it would also destroy the perfect image I have crafted in my mind.

It's like crack, that's how addictive it is to look at her, although I know it won't do me any good and is only bringing me closer to insanity. I can't even describe what's happening.
I'm always getting some kind of adrenaline rush and my heart is throbbing faster.
Never had that sensation before.

Looking for relatable novels with this theme. Anything that deals with the unobtainable.

[Anonymous No.18828126]

>>18828112
I wish i could punch you in the face until you stopped being such a faggot.

[Anonymous No.18828137]

>>18828112
Go outside, talk to people and to women. As soon you get out of your imagination, you will see people as they are and quit romanticizing them. There are no perfect beings.

[Anonymous No.18828140]

>>18828112
That's a man.

[Anonymous No.18828190]

>>18828112
>She looks so pure.
What in God's name ever made you think that a woman could "look pure?"
>She is probably my image of the perfect female I didn't even know existed in this form.
Your problem is that you think of women in terms of what they look like, rather than in terms of what they are like. Stop it.
>It is crushing, but also very exciting to act out my beta incel creep ways and stare at her and follow her around.
You need to stop. Just stop talking to her. Stop looking at her. Leave her alone.
>It's like crack, that's how addictive it is to look at her, although I know it won't do me any good and is only bringing me closer to insanity. I can't even describe what's happening.
Masturbate every morning before going to school, and your problem will go away.

Also, delete this thread.

[Anonymous No.18828218]

>>18828190
>What in God's name ever made you think that a woman could "look pure
Uh I dunno. Not dressing like a whore?

[Anonymous No.18828229]

>>18828190
>Masturbate every morning before going to school, and your problem will go away.
I didn't talk about my dick

[Anonymous No.18828269]

>>18828218
What you see on the outside does not necessarily mean anything. Only attitude and behavior can tell you what you need to know. A quick way to figure it out is to see how she treats and talks about people she dislikes or considers beneath her. That includes yourself. If she's nasty, walk in the opposite direction.
>>18828229
You don't have to, because I know what the problem is. Start masturbating in the morning before school. You'll feel a lot better.

[Anonymous No.18828418]

>>18828218
She is, though? That skirt is showing too much skin.

[Anonymous No.18828454]

Talk to her

[Anonymous No.18828493]

>>18828418
She is wearing traditional dresses and sewing. I saw her sew.
I have never seen her talk to anyone.
I don't care about getting my dick off. I've done that often enough in the past. I haven't masturbated in months and barely feel any list at all. All I want is this unobtainable female compassion
>>18828137
Years of isolation have made me completely socially retarded. I don't care about other people. On the rare occasion I happen to talk to them, it never is about anything personal, nothing beyond 3 word sentences.
I've spent the last 3 years in my room

[Anonymous No.18828504]

>>18828493
Well, you have to work on that then. Consider doing therapy, this is the kind of thing that is hard to get out on your own. Maybe start frequenting a church or something religious, I did that and it improved my life.

[Anonymous No.18828517]

>>18828418
Always warring those dresses. The short hair adds to the youthful innocence

[Anonymous No.18828549]

>>18828504
I'm already forced to talk to some psychiatrist through the worthless government program my parents make me attend which is where I came across the female in the first place.
I don't have any desire to tell that female psychologist anything. The thought of telling anyone what I'm thinking is repulsive to me. I barely understand that myself.

[Anonymous No.18828557]

The Collector by John Fowles

[Anonymous No.18828563]

>>18828112
Can you please stop posting your creepy fucking blurred-image stalker threads?
I bet you did this one too: >>18823130

[Anonymous No.18828564]

>>18828493
I don't know what to tell you anon. If you think you can hide your intense feelings and interact with her normally, try to make some light conversations with her. If not, you should try to avoid seeing her and eventually thinking about her so that your feelings simmer down. I know how hard it is anon, but indulging in your infatuations and your "creep ways" won't do you any good. If you don't stop it now, as soon as possible, it will only get worse and worse.

[Anonymous No.18828570]

>anon sees average looking white girl waiting for the bus
>SHE IS BEAUTY INCARNATE, THE PUREST OF THE PURE

[Anonymous No.18828572]

>>18828563
No, that wasn't me
>>18828557
Thank you

[Anonymous No.18828574]

>>18828112
She looks like a schoolgirl.

[Anonymous No.18828585]

>>18828549
>I don't have any desire to tell that female psychologist anything. The thought of telling anyone what I'm thinking is repulsive to me. I barely understand that myself.
You are probably fucked then, you can try getting out of it yourself, but you will definitely have a hard time. Consider just talking shit to your psychiatrist/psychologist or anything and moving on with it. They studied to deal with this kind of thing and trust me, you are not the weirdest thing they came across. I'm not a pro, but considering what is out there on the web, you are pretty normal.

[Anonymous No.18828586]

>>18828493
With getting my dick off I didn't mean I actually put it in a vagina. I've never approached a female

[Anonymous No.18828591]

>>18828112
Purefags are mentally ill

[Anonymous No.18828651]

>>18828564
>If you think you can hide your intense feelings and interact with her normally, try to make some light conversations with her
Could you elaborate? I have no clue what I would even say.
I was thinking of drowning myself with some discounter vodka before talking to her

[Anonymous No.18828693]

>>18828137
>As soon you get out of your imagination, you will see people as they are and quit romanticizing them. There are no perfect beings.
Correct, but OP already explicitly acknowledged this.
>I know I would never be able to say anything to her.
>Also it would also destroy the perfect image I have crafted in my mind.

OP needs a reason to value the real over the imagined.

[Anonymous No.18828699]

>>18828549
>The thought of telling anyone what I'm thinking is repulsive to me
This means that you are judging what you are thinking as scandalous -- as in, if you heard someone else admit that they were thinking such things, you would be surprised, and wait to see what happened, because you do not know what would happen if such things were made public. What would happen? Probably you think that others would find them as repulsive as you do, seeing as how you censor yourself from making them known to others. Now if they were to consider them repulsive, then what would happen, as you likely fear, is that your estrangement would become real, whereas now it is only hypothetical. You think you would really be cast out, and be known as a pervert, a voyeur, etc. Whereas now you are merely clandestine and no one knows it. No one but you; and since you are still overtly a 'member of society', there is a part of you that still judges on behalf of that society, and contains those repulsive thoughts. So you are in limbo, and the verge of losing your standing. Maybe your are fighting to maintain it, because you are scandalized by your own thoughts, and as far as you are concerned, they are inappropriate to make known to others. You clearly are not able to differentiate between 'normal' feelings, for which there would be nothing shameful about divulging, such as admiration for another's 'compassion' (which would require you to not feel as though it had to be showered upon you), and those which you ought to know come from an intent to harm. So long as you are fighting in yourself, maybe you are trying to protect the girl, maybe you are trying to protect your reputation; it doesn't matter. In either case, isn't it true that what you keep to yourself is the fact that there is something in you which really means to harm, exploit, and steal? And this is because you yourself are paranoid about being harmed and exploited; really because, whether it is our own intent or that of another, it universally causes fear in a part of ourselves. You think you will lose out on what everyone else has, and you think that you are the bearer of some plague which both you and others would avoid if given the chance. So you have three paths. You will continue to live like a voyeur in limbo, or you will be 'outed', rejected, leaving you to go insane if you are unable to identify your wrong, or you will leave off your intent to harm by facing your fear of isolation.

[Anonymous No.18828707]

A surprising amount of people are replying to OP without realizing he's a stalker and beyond the pale of normal "bro dont do that haha :)" dissuasion

I wonder how much social media has damaged people's minds if they can't instantly detect full-blown fucked up as distinct from "whoaa this guy's got waifus on the brain lmao!!" Do young people even know the difference between fundamentally sane but confused/holding retarded beliefs, and fundamentally insane regardless of beliefs?

[Anonymous No.18828709]

>tfw spent high school obsessed with a classmate
>would stalk her online and offline, write her name on everything I owned basically worshipped her
>in all probably spoke to her twice

We did end up hooking up but it was disastrous and so far from what I was expecting it to be that I ended up breaking up with her.

Even now I still feel the adrenaline and dopamine rush lingering at the edge of my consciousness like a long lost friend at the thought of renewing my stalker behavior and finding her again after a decade, but ultimately I understand that the path of the nightcrawler leads only to brutal despair, resentment, and finally suicide.

Anon, do not settle for a life spent in the shadows, find some qt who doesn't inspire such obsession because the Muse must never be grasped, it must always be just out your grasp for it to inspire you.

[Anonymous No.18828710]

>>18828651
It's very context-dependent so I can't really elaborate, but if you need to drink alcohol before talking to her, save yourself the embarrassment and potential disaster and don't do this. If you see her regularly on the bus, try to take another bus instead. Also try to be very active in this period so that you won't have the time and opportunity to daydream or think about her. If you do that, in a few months you'll return back to normal.

[Anonymous No.18828727]

>>18828651
You don't know what you would talk about with her because you've created an unatural and perverse representation of her form in your mind that is uninteractible, perfect in every way, and an impossibility. Any interaction with it would be a contradiction because any movement would cause imperfection.
Unironic advice coming up
>Be 19
>Have an Instagram that showcases some of your personality
>Follow her
>She follows back
>Swipe up on one of her stories with a novel observation or simply comment something.
>She replies by liking or responding formally
>Don't respond back (now she is aware of you congratulations)
>Do the same thing except this time respond back to her. If there is a connection between the two of you, ask her to grab dinner at some popular sushi restaurant or something
>Now you are forced to sit down and get to know each other. Good luck

[Anonymous No.18828732]

>>18828707
If you think most people here are anything close to normal, it's you who is in need of a realization.

[Anonymous No.18828754]

>>18828732
Not guy you reply to but I think a surprising amount of us are passing "normal" and simply have an interest in literature. That's why we are on this board. There's a difference, however, between us and the people who migrated here from b, pol, or r9k that fully embrace that lifestyle

[Anonymous No.18828755]

>>18828727
>Have an Instagram that showcases some of your personality
Nigger

[Anonymous No.18828764]

>>18828112
my diary desu

[Anonymous No.18828766]

>>18828709
>the Muse must never be grasped, it must always be just out your grasp for it to inspire you.
sounds neat and VERY alluring but also feels like bullshit.
"If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth," right? maybe?

i honestly don't know but my instinct is that letting a lie persist will cause significantly more harm than good.

[Anonymous No.18828770]

>>18828754
I also "pass" as normal, but I can sympathize with them. If you just want to talk about books in a "normal" environment, you don't need me to show you the way.

[Anonymous No.18828779]

>>18828755
Just be normal for one second of your life is it that hard

[Anonymous No.18828826]

>>18828112
Just ask he out. Problem solved.

[Anonymous No.18828840]

>>18828112
you need to stop this path into the void anon, I suffered under the regime of my delusions of a fair maiden for almost 2 years, time in which I could have met other girls and maybe escaped my virgin tendencies. STOP IT. You must either
a)find out/affirm the ways in which she isn't perfect and would be bad for you (she was kinda dumb and not all that reliable/committed to things generally + we weren't actually that compatible, she was just a really nice person) OR
b)begin to select real flaws or invent some and begin to psyop yourself into exaggerating her faults. I spent time telling myself her gums (which showed when she smiled) were disgusting and not something I'd be happy passing on genetically (ridiculous I know, but needs must).


HERE is the final redpill: in being so infatuated, you will never act in a way becoming of a potential suitor, thus styming any chance you had. In other words, the game was rigged from the start. Give up and look elsewhere NOW or face years upon years of emotional turmoil for no good reason at all.

Good luck.

[Anonymous No.18828862]

>>18828840
>no option to directly engage with her in any capacity
lol?

[Anonymous No.18828866]

>>18828112
Sorrows of Young Werther
Don Quixote

[Anonymous No.18828879]

>>18828727
>publicize yourself in an echochamber of narcissism and propaganda controlled by corporations
god modern social interaction is depressing, it annoys me becuase your advice is probably the best solution.

>>18828707
what is "fundamentally sane or insane regardless of beliefs" even supposed to mean? if you think fundamentally good or bad people exist you are worse than the young people you talk about

[Anonymous No.18828881]

>>18828862
no. his mind is already corrupt and spaghetti shall cascade, maybe not at first but at some stage the fruits of obsession will prove themselves. I've seen it firsthand in myself and others, he needs to just move on - I promise I'm not just being horrible or cynical but he ought to just save himself heartbreak which will further obscure any objective views of women as what they are

[Anonymous No.18828922]

Why do I have to be the first to suggest what plenty have already thought:

Just Rape her.

[Anonymous No.18828942]

>>18828766
Don't let people tell you to not love, but don't be obsessed with another human. They're not worth it; the truth can only destroy human muses. But go elsewhere- the imagination, God, etc., and you will find an insatiable and undefeatable muse

[Anonymous No.18828953]

>>18828493

I saw some beautiful women picking Elder Flower from a tree next to a field full of barley last month, it was so beautiful, the summer dresses they were wearing, the greenery of the hedge rows, the golden colour of the barley, the splendid sun. I haven't gone a day without thinking of it since.

[Anonymous No.18828964]

>>18828881
>he ought to just save himself heartbreak which will further obscure any objective views of women as what they are
imo intentionally avoiding direct contact is already obscuring his views
the best way to dismantle a fantasy is by engaging with reality, not avoiding it

[Anonymous No.18828980]

>>18828190
>Masturbate every morning before going to school, and your problem will go away.
I empathize with OP and I can't say that masturbation really helps. Sure, after you ejaculate your lust is gone, but OP's case(and mine) isn't about having sex. We crave for pure love, which is tender and caring but not lustful, and there's nothing like masturbation for those feelings.

[Anonymous No.18828982]

>>18828112
The Temple of the Golden Pavilion is the best work on obsession ever written. There's always Lolita as well. For a novel where the main character actually improves because of his devotion to his waifu, check out The Wizard Knight (though, crucially, he manages to transcend his desire and harness it to achieve something greater).
The advice to quit idealizing people is good, but is missing something. People create waifus for themselves, whether they are based on fictional characters or idealizations of real people, because everyone needs something to strive towards. For many young men, a woman is a perfect ideal to judge yourself against. Usually you find yourself inadequate, and sometimes you take that judgement and harness it to improve yourself. If God is conceptualized as an ideal you judge yourself against, then waifus are makeshift gods. However, waifus will almost always disappoint you. The fictional ones have obvious limitations, and real people end up disappointing or rejecting you. That's why Christians conceptualize a God full of boundless love that would sacrifice itself for your salvation and would never turn away from you no matter how disgusting you become. At any rate, you need a better ideal than a woman, but if she can help you shape up then it won't be for nothing.

[Anonymous No.18828988]

>>18828881
>maybe not at first but at some stage the fruits of obsession will prove themselves.
I can confirm. You can hide your obsession only for so long

[Anonymous No.18828996]

>>18828879
>what is "fundamentally sane or insane regardless of beliefs" even supposed to mean?
It means that some people you meet on 4chan will have a kind of fundamental lucidity and some won't, and that what normies consider crazy won't always map onto either group easily. For example there are people who are clearly not lucid and self-aware, fucked up people, who otherwise pass as normies among normies because normies can only evaluate surface features like "does he say nigger?" But then there are people who have all sorts of ironic/unironic nigger-saying behaviors and 4chan personality traits but who are fundamentally lucid and self-aware, the kind of person you could tell just by talking to them for a few minutes is basically "there" mentally, the lights are on upstairs if you know what I mean.

Normies would shun the nigger guy and allow a psychopath or narcissist into their midst because they only evaluate surfaces. What surprises me is when 4chan people can't tell the difference. Especially with how bad things are in society right now. If you hang out on 4chan (or 4chan-adjacent spaces like a faggot) you will certainly have met perpetually unstable trannies, crazy abusers, sadists, paranoid schizos, and people in all stages of decay in to one or another of these things from a previously stable state.

For example when your depressed internet friend, after ten years of being depressed and sorta schizo but basically cool, suddenly becomes a crazy tranny and changes all his beliefs to superficially more acceptable ones he's also much more psychotic about enforcing, that's a good sign he's swapped from "weird but sane" to "normal but crazy." A weeb or waifufag who makes fun of himself for being a weeb or waifufag is probably weird, but sane. A permanently online fag with radical political beliefs is probably weird but sane. But when these people get that manic psycho energy to them where you find you can't make fun of them anymore, they have probably become real crazy.

OP is not weird but sane, he's stalking some chick. I am not talking about the moral aspects of it either, just saying I'm surprised some people can't pick up on that general tone from him.

[Anonymous No.18829008]

>>18828996
This is actually a good post.
>For example when your depressed internet friend, after ten years of being depressed and sorta schizo but basically cool, suddenly becomes a crazy tranny and changes all his beliefs to superficially more acceptable ones he's also much more psychotic about enforcing, that's a good sign he's swapped from "weird but sane" to "normal but crazy."
I have experienced this.

[Anonymous No.18829062]

>>18828982
Yes, but men also desire an exotic experience and a beautiful body or humanoid personality, and there is nothing of that in God. You'll just cite marriage, but couldn't that be considered idolatry? Can I not just "marry" myself to whatever else it is I love and thereby attain incarnation?

[Anonymous No.18829114]

>>18828996
>OP is not weird but sane
I feel like a broken superficial person
The internet has destroyed my brain and I don't think I have any real interests left which might be one reason why I'm obsessing so over her
I wouldn't even know how to hold a conversation or what I could tell her as I don't have any passions or interests besides ocassional internet binges and numbly staring at the wall

[Anonymous No.18829121]

>>18829062
*erotic

[Anonymous No.18829134]

>>18829114
She is making me even more numb and lethargic
Simetimes I'm daydreaming for hours without reading anything

[Anonymous No.18829136]

>>18828996
but OP is not crazy. i read an account of a serial killer who kept the skulls of his victims and was planning to make an altar out of them. when he was finally apprehended (something which had been in his thoughts since the beginning) he exclaimed to the officers something like "i deserve to die for what I have done." when they caught him, he was in the middle of seducing another victim; he was consciously carrying out a plan, and was in this respect, sober and collected. granted he was planning to murder someone and make idols out of their body parts, yet he knew what he was doing and when he was caught in the act, and all his years of committing killings whilst maintaining a standing in society, passing as 'normal' (enough to attract a lover anyway) came to the fore of his consciousness, he burst forth with a thought that had been on his mind all these years: "i am a murderer and i ought to be imprisoned." he said this as though to approve of his own apprehension by law enforcement, as though he were finally giving it up of his own accord and condemning his own acts. later in prison this killer took to reading the bible and talking with a pastor, and he would ask the latter whether he deserved to die -- whether he ought to remain alive. this is not insanity but the inkling of a long neglected conscience capable of being in accord with his fellow man. so there is a wide, wide gap between what you refer to as 'weird' and 'crazy'.

[Anonymous No.18829139]

>>18829134
It is you, the control over your body is yours not hers.

[Anonymous No.18829223]

>used to stalk hs classmate since our senior year(2013)
>she was really bubbly and sometimes we would chat, but I knew she looked at me as just a friend
>we graduated and went separate ways
>she wanted to study law
>I never went to college and barely leave my room
>she starts college and deletes her facebook page to avoid distractions on her studies
>having been trying since then to find any trace of her existence on the internet
>found out she works in law and moved out to another city
>eventually find some of her hs friends on facebook, but too shy to ask for her whereabouts
>all I get is two pics where she's posing with her friends, but they're old, still from hs
>I know that even if I had the corauge to reconnect with her and ask her to be my gf, she would reject a NEET like me
>she's on my phone wallpaper
>can't stop daydreaming about her
it is what it is

[Anonymous No.18829233]

>>18829223
why deleted

[Anonymous No.18829234]

>used to stalk hs classmate since our senior year(2013)
>she was really bubbly and sometimes we would chat, but I knew she looked at me as just a friend
>we graduated and went separate ways
>she wanted to study law
>I never went to college and barely leave my room
>she starts college and deletes her facebook page to avoid distractions on her studies
>having been trying since then to find any trace of her existence on the internet
>found out she works in law and moved out to another city
>eventually find some of her hs friends on facebook, but too shy to ask for her contact
>all I get is two pics where she's posing with her friends, but they're old, still from hs
>I know that even if I had the corauge to reconnect with her and ask her to be my gf, she would reject a NEET like me
>she's on my phone wallpaper
>can't stop daydreaming about her
it is what it is

[Anonymous No.18829251]

>>18829233
I mistakenly said that I didn't know her whereabouts, but the truth is that I know where she is but can't call her or anything

[Anonymous No.18829262]

>>18829234
>>18829251
Would you be okay with a platonic relationship with her?

[Anonymous No.18829272]

>>18829262
No. Either I get together with her or some other girl who takes her spot in my mind.

[Anonymous No.18829297]

>>18829234
Get out of your room and meet other people. Consider doing therapy or something.

[Anonymous No.18829345]

>>18829297
I mostly understand what is wrong with me, but trying to ''reason'' with my feelings is simply not enough to make them go away.
Why shouldn't I get what I want?
Also, therapy makes things too mechanical and cold, and it doesn't really reflect reality. There's something else going on and I can't explain what it is.
Maybe I'm simply trying to connect with my soulmate, if there's such a thing.

[Anonymous No.18829364]

>>18829345
>Why shouldn't I get what I want?
Because you don't have the means? Maybe if you weren't a neet, you would have.

[Anonymous No.18829368]

>>18828112
Why do you need books on infatuation? Might be better to listen to music about infatuation it will cure something in your heart.

[Anonymous No.18829369]

>>18829234
so in a way you are 'faking' a relationship with her; doing what people do when they are in a relationship, only this time she doesn't know; you have her on your phone wallpaper, etc. in fact, this is similar to most relationships where the couple is really 'more or less' in a relationship, so that one of the couple might gradually find themselves annoyed that the other is so comfortable with them, etc. this would make the other look like a larper, like they were only faking it like this poster. so the girl is 'in our thoughts' so long as she is not actually with us; and this state is what we prefer, since even when we 'have her' we prefer to have her as a thought-object, since the whole ordeal is chimerical by nature. you take actions to 'have her with you', e.g., having her on your phone wallpaper, as though you had captured her; and all these photographs that you can find online are 'captures' of her -- and this is what you are after, more captures, as, e.g., a 'contact' in your phone, or 'as your girlfriend', the concept of 'girlfriend' being for you like a kind of unfilled slot in your mind, something which you have not. likewise she 'fills' your thoughts and dreams, which are so to speak, more 'captures' of her, imagining 'captured' moments which you might have together, a filled narrative of your 'story' together; how you met, what your plans are, etc.

[Anonymous No.18829372]

>>18829345
She's not your soulmate you stupid fag, she's a girl whom you've never spoken to

[Anonymous No.18829373]

>>18829345
>Why shouldn't I get what I want?
Things aren't going to invade your room and fall into your lap. You have to go outside.

[Anonymous No.18829385]

>>18829373
gtfo of my board you fucking boomer. if you aren't a boomer that is even more pathetic; you are just regurgitating boomerisms. no one asked you for advice you worm.

[Anonymous No.18829404]

>>18829385
Boomer? I'm saying that you have to deal with that shit if you feel bothered by it. Quit bitching about not having things if you want them, but won't leave your room. Start doing therapy or some shit, ask for help or whatever, what the fuck are you waiting? Bitching on 4chan, that is what people should do to solve their problems.

[Anonymous No.18829410]

>>18829385
I'm a NEET and single, but the main difference is that I'm ok with this. And I'm thinking about what I want, you already know what you want. Go after it and quit being a retard on /lit/.

[Anonymous No.18829411]

>>18829364
>>18829373
Yes, I'm shy and lack confidence and all of that but I'm partially that way because I don't racionally believe I can truly satisfy my desires. But like I said, the feelings won't go away with this realization, and this might be the case because I still have a little bit of hope left.
Remember, this isn't about getting any girl to like you or whatever.
I feel like my crush is already part of me, like my mother and father.

[Anonymous No.18829419]

>>18829411
You have to work on it, I already said, ask for help and do some therapy. Bitching about how shy you are on 4chan isn't going to solve anything.

[Anonymous No.18829422]

>>18829404
i'm not the poster you were responding to, cunt. your advice is just a series of disgusting and worthless boomerisms
>get therapy
>go outside
>quit bitching

[Anonymous No.18829426]

>>18829411
If you don't feel like doing therapy, read a psychology book, and then read a book on therapy. I recommend CBT, check it out, it is probably the easiest one to do yourself.

[Anonymous No.18829438]

>>18829422
Well, what do you think is the best approach to solve this kind of thing? That anon is fucked, he won't manage this thing by himself easily, he needs help, that is how people do it. He can try to do it himself (I did), but it took 4 fucking years of study and I'm still dealing with it. If I could get back on time, I would just get a psychologist, if I had the option too. And those 4 years would probably turn into 3 months or even less.

[Anonymous No.18829468]

>>18829369
yeah that's mostly true
>>18829419
>>18829426
I already said that insofar as therapy can help, I can do it on my own, since I have much free time to think.
But therapy is simply very limited when you don't believe in materialism. It can help anyone, but is far from being enough to answer your most fundamental questions.

[Anonymous No.18829478]

>>18829422
holy autism, boomerisms are proven to work, if you are too much of a pussy to do those things keep sperging on online forums, maybe you'll find some alternative like deluding yourself into schizophrenia to see your waifu irl

[Anonymous No.18829481]

>>18828112
sorrows of young werther.

anyway OP indulging in this illusion is a disordered desire and a foolish use of your time. lust is stupid, stop lusting. whoever this person is, you are mistaken about her. you are in love with an image, and if you love this idol (this idealized form of femininity) so much you should remove it from her and from yourself desu. never touch your idols, the gold will come off on your fingers.

[Anonymous No.18829496]

>>18829438
i have been posting in the thread with some actual analysis instead of just 'advice'. op clearly doesn't understand his situation and could use actual insight. i am in agreement with the op that 'therapy' is worthless, since the therapist will just seem to reaffirm that there is a 'normal society' out there that the patient is 'outside from' and has to 'get back into'. what therapist could i possibly meet that was not actual himself or herself a nutcase, only 'normal' like that other anon was saying. 'psychologists' get their power from thinking that they represent 'psychological health' and that they are a big legitimate institution, a real thing, etc. but there is as little real about your average therapist as there is with your boss or your boomer dad or whatever. no therapist nowadays will be able to explain the simple fact that the mere application of one's own understanding, imperfect as it is, is what allows persons to bond with one another intellectually, which is what op needs. but a therapist will not tell you this; instead they will talk about what sort of 'thing' you 'have', what sort of 'case' you 'are' and so forth.

[Anonymous No.18829498]

>>18828112
Women are absolutely worthless, OP. Whatever you do, just make money so you can get the fuck away from everyone. This is all that matters.

[Anonymous No.18829508]

>>18829062
No, I wouldn't cite marriage. There are billions of beautiful bodies, interesting personalities, and erotic experiences that can be (relatively) easily had on this planet. I don't deny that men desire these things. What OP is talking about is obsessive idolization. I'm not even sure where I stand when it comes to religion. My point is that your highest aspirations need to be higher than some flawed human being that might reject you or an anime waifu or something.

[Anonymous No.18829509]

>>18829468
The anon above who suggested reading psychology books is certainly right. I'd suggest learning about Jung's conception of anima and in particular anima projection, which is exactly what you are experiencing. If you know what you are dealing with, you'd be in a better place to solve your problems.

[Anonymous No.18829518]

>>18829509
jsesus crhist anon that is really what you recommend? clearly you're just recommending the latest thing you're into. jung is a horrible choice. no one ever solved their psychological health issues by reading jung.

[Anonymous No.18829522]

>>18829496
Yeah, '4chan meme science' this is where is at. And you know shit about therapy. Specially considering that you are thinking that it is all the same. There are countless different models and approaches. Quit being ignorant and this bullshit.

[Anonymous No.18829532]

>>18828585
Don't listen to this faggot. "Therapy" is the greatest con game ever created, keep your money.

[Anonymous No.18829546]

>>18829522
Only therapist I believe are the ones working pro bono.

[Anonymous No.18829564]

>>18829509
The truths found in psychology works almost never truly explain the bigger picture. ''Anima projection''? That isn't satisfying when you try as hard as you can to truly see the ''why'' of my obsession with my old hs classmate.
Why did I ever meet her? Why was she part of my life? Was it all an accident?
Any deterministic explanations stop at a point and leave a big void.

[Anonymous No.18829579]

>>18829564
> That isn't satisfying when you try as hard as you can to truly see the ''why'' of my obsession with my old hs classmate.
If you give it a try, you might find out that it does.

[Anonymous No.18829589]

>>18829522
understanding is what can be communicated; if you go to a therapist and you go through a 'program' or an 'approach', then the understanding is concealed from you; it is not communicated to you; instead you are put through a scheme which was devised by another's understanding, which probably even the therapist has only an inkling of. psychology is not really even science; and who would want to be the object of a science anyway? who wants to be 'studied'? no one; as long as the therapist is always analyzing you, you will feel estranged. science is fun as long as you are the one practicing it; having it applied to you is awful.

[Anonymous No.18829612]

>>18828112
Tanizaki’s Naomi

[Anonymous No.18829633]

>>18829579
''Human likes thingy cause it remind him of something that he liked as a child xD''. Oh really you solved reality right there.

[Anonymous No.18829683]

op here is my final advice.

read, e.g., tolstoy, dostoevsky, proust, along with insightful commentary, and try to _understand_ along with these authors; the mystery in voyeurism can be expanded to the greater mysteries of life, generation, death, transcendence, etc. you can become a 'voyeur' of life, a 'stalker' of holiness, and so on. woman doesn't know her own mystery; she is probably not at all conscious of it, and realizing this we recognize that it is not the particular personality of the girl but more the idea of womanhood, beauty, which passes into our awareness in an immaterial way; desire itself is a great mystery; but where does it lie? where does beauty lie or in what sense does it subsist in objects and scenes? hmm? do you not suppose that it is possible to grasp these mysteries in another way? not as holding them as you would an object, or gazing at them, but in terms of being with them, of partaking of them without being in yourself base and reprehensible. not as though you yourself would become the beautiful or graceful object, but that you would be an ally to these, and amply satiated, not on account of your possessing them, but on account of their being so pervasive that they permeate throughout your entire vision and sensitivity, like a radiant light, etc. is it not possible to bask and to be entirely delighted in radiance, and to also be in accord with the humanity in others, with what in their souls god protects and lets shine forth to others, so long as we allow it to shine, and to be contented with the light therefrom.

[Anonymous No.18829720]

>>18829579
I'm not just a human. There's things that only exist in relation to me. Now, try to consider my unique existence when thinking through psycological patterns. You can't.
Why was that girl in my life and why do I love her? -

[Anonymous No.18829788]

>>18829720
>Why was that girl in my life and why do I love her? -
hormones, dummy

[Anonymous No.18829800]

>>18829633
Not at all. Jung posits that in the mind of each person there exist some sort of structure of the mind, which he calls archetypes, which a priori gives meaning to any of your experiences. To give an example, if try to consider a woman in purely objective ways, she would only be a female human; now if you, as a man, try to consider a woman who you personally care about, you can't just view her as an objective female human anymore - from your perspective, there is some deeply personal meaning attached to her. One of the most important of these a priori structures of the mind for men is called the anima: the archetype of the Woman, the Mother, the Lover etc. Intense love happens when a particular woman occupies your anima. This of course entails that your view of her would now have a lot of prejudices (almost always positive when in love), and you won't be able to see her flaws since you don't see her as a just person anymore, but now she is the embodiment of your anima. Doesn't this aptly explain your feeling that "my crush is already part of me, like my mother and father"? She is in fact "a part of you", more so than you realize, but not because of her own independent existence, but because you are projecting what is deeply personal to you - your Woman - on that particular woman.

[Anonymous No.18829824]

>>18829589
Hm, you are fucking dumb, he isn't going to be studied. People already did those things, it is mainly therapy. Have you ever read anything about it? The fact that you aren't even recommending the OP to read a book about it and maybe try it himself, like I said that it could be an option, just show how ignorant you are. People sell those things to other people who pay for it. 4chan is something that you get for "free" and ruins your brain and get you addicted to porn, so they can milk money out of you.
>>18829546
It is a job like any other, you can always learn it and do it yourself.
>>18829532
Just read a book (I didn't even bought a book about it, just downloaded CBT: basics and beyond by Judith Beck on libgen) about it and do it yourself. FFS, don't be a fucking retard, people use behaviorism to train dogs and children. Works with most living organisms, it is pretty 'basic' but one can probably do CBT himself, if he is willing to be honest about things.
>>18829509
Psychoanalysis is too hard to do yourself. He is probably better using something simpler like CBT or something related to behaviorism.

[Anonymous No.18829826]

>>18829788
I specifically made sure itt to not deny materialistics explanations but to doubt their sufficiency.

[Anonymous No.18829896]

>>18829826
i am doubting your sufficiency as a suitor

[Anonymous No.18829904]

>>18829800
I was making a general statement about psychology. I'm not new to Jung or any of the popular philosopher/psychologists. Their works are never satisfying. Where do archetypes come from? Why was that specific girl a projection of my idea of a woman?
Again, I don't believe in materialism.

[Anonymous No.18829921]

>>18829904
I'm not here to teach you a whole course on analytic psychology. If you think that is materialism, you have a whole lot of learning to do.

[Anonymous No.18829948]

>>18829896
Is there anything a man who doesn't believe in platonic love can do if the object of his obsession is not obsessed with him?

[Anonymous No.18829969]

>>18829921
What did Jung say about the origin of reality?

[Anonymous No.18829991]

>>18829969
Jung was a psychologist, "the origin of reality" wasn't his subject of study. But he personally probably believed in something Platonist, Christian, Gnostic related.

[Anonymous No.18829999]

>>18829948
finish growing a nutsack and move on to another woman. its called being in control of yourself.

[Anonymous No.18830369]

>>18828727
I agree that OP portrayal of her is unnatural and disjointed from reality, she is not perfect and if he thinks of her as such any interaction with her is doomed to fail. He expects too much of her, and even if they ended up in a relationship, she'd feel too much pressure from him and think of him as either a creep, emotionally feminine. She may give the "it's not you, it's me" response and ultimately end up alienating him to friend-zone status. If OP wants to get her, he should destroy this deity image he has of her in his mind and treat her like a fallible human being.
I actually went through what OP did once, fell head over heels for this "christian girl" in college who ended up leaving me for some dropout ex-con stoner. I'm very grateful that happened as I was turning into an unforgivable woke liberal, literally begged God to bring me back from that cesspool and I've been all the better for it.

[Anonymous No.18830382]

>>18828112
The Great Gatsby
EZ

[Anonymous No.18830395]

>>18828190
>>18828269
jerking off thinking about some broad every day is not going to make him less obsessed with her
in fact it would drive him to insanity and he would probably commit some crime

[Anonymous No.18830441]

>>18828112
Wow, you sound obsessed. I can def relate, except I'm not an incel and I've actually approached girls whom I've felt this way about.

Here are some literary recs:

'I am Charlotte Simmons' by Tom Wolfe. There's. a character, Adam Gellin, introduced about 150 pages in who perfectly exemplifies what you're feeling. He's obsessed with the title character, Charlotte Simmons, who despite appreciating all the nice guy stuff he does for her, can't help but only be attracted to the book's other two major characters, frat boy Hoyt Thorpe and basketball player Jojo Johansen.

'Scott Pilgrim' by Bryan Lee O'Malley. They're comics, but IMO the best comics ever put to paper. The title character, Scott Pilgrim, a 20-something slacker, starts the series recovering from a big break-up by dating a high schooler, only to fall madly for the new girl in town, Ramona Flowers. The books, and the great movie you can find on Netflix, follow him securing her love. There's an ongoing dub: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHsj3iBNaWU

That's what I'd give you.

[Anonymous No.18830461]

>>18830441
why is so common for pathetic male weaklings to post those gay ass simplistic cartoon reaction pictures?
People like you deserve to be bullied until you cry.

[Anonymous No.18830522]

tao lin. read his early books then his newer ones

[Anonymous No.18830709]

>>18830461
I think their mentality is that it makes them stand out and adds personality to their post, but this style of imagery and anime girl reactions are just gay in an emasculating way

[Anonymous No.18831260]

I think this might be for you. More angrier though.

[Anonymous No.18832019]

>>18828112
>Anything that deals with the unobtainable.

The Noldor's quest for the Silmarillions. Anons quest for happiness.

[Anonymous No.18832071]

>>18828112
Read Goethe's Faust
Part 1 and 2.

[Anonymous No.18832172]

>>18828112
Let it go.
https://youtu.be/MU1Rp184IT4

[Anonymous No.18832178]

>>18832172
Zoomers get off my fucking board.

[Anonymous No.18832464]

>>18832019
>>18831260
That sound just like what I'm looking for. Thank you

[Anonymous No.18832868]

>>18829234
Do a Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights (read: come back into her life as a fucking chad with his life in order, completely different from the person you were back then)

[Anonymous No.18832913]

>>18832868
Fuck no.

[Anonymous No.18832914]

>>18828112
go out, talk to her or other people, please don't be a creep and don't be an idiot. Talk to her, get interested in her, and if she's not interested go away and move on

[Anonymous No.18832920]

Wuthering Heights, Aspern Papers

[Anonymous No.18833188]

>>18828112
have sex

[Anonymous No.18833254]

>>18830709
The masculine thing to do is to use whatever image you want despite what anonymous people will think about you or try to psychologize

[Anonymous No.18834032]

>>18828557
Oh no.