This Book Does Not Exist

[Anonymous No.18801165]

post a book title, other anons guess what it could be about.
> you must fill previous prompts before shitting out a new wall of titles

[Anonymous No.18801171]

>>18801165
The Shape of Books to Come.

[Anonymous No.18801170]

Cathedral of Necrophiliacs

Communal Morgue

piles and piles and piles

[Anonymous No.18801177]

My diary desu.

[Anonymous No.18801189]

>>18801171
a wannabe entrepreneur hears of a trouble-shooter that skyrocketed a guidebook company's sales by making their book smaller in format, ensuring that people have it on top of the bookpile. he sweats bullets trying to brainstorm a new "shapely" ultimate book solution to sell, and gets trapped in the Library of Babel where he just as obsessively ravages for the ultimate book about book business.

[Anonymous No.18801265]

>>18801177
> A weeb with retardation keeps a diary Flowers for Algernon style, but he switches from a moonspeak weeb jargon to classic literary Japanese

[Anonymous No.18801306]

LA ACEDEMIA

Opiumbox Wonders

[Anonymous No.18801472]

>Confessions of a White Widowed Male
>Gabriel's Stormfront
>If I Forget Thee, America

>>18801170
>Cathedral of Necrophiliacs
The year is 1121. A newly appointed priest of a heretical Christian sect is shocked when he accidentally walks in on an obscene secret ritual performed in the crumbling catacombs under the cathedral—leading him, his spunky redheaded nymphet-turned-amatuer-Nancy Drew, and an aged female housekeeper down a globetrotting rabbit hole of ancient conspiracies, rituals, and secret societies.

>>18801171
>The Shape of Books to Come
In his first ever non-fiction book, legendary MacArthur Fellow and prize-winning author of The Road and Blood Meridian Cormac McCarthy explains his theory of 'recursive influence'—how authors build on the universal conversation of literature that has been going on for thousands of years, and why some authors (like James and Proust) don't deserve to join that conversation.

[Anonymous No.18801496]

>>18801472
>>Confessions of a White Widowed Male
> I know how out of place the title sounds - but imagine how inappropriate it feels! There's no quite a niche for a widowed white male, no mould to fill, no archetype to follow or betray. I'm too young for the grampa type, too heartless for the mourner, don't care enough to be the unstoppable prowler. Perhaps I should just erase Sandy from the collective memory.

[Anonymous No.18802516]

>>18801165
The First Blast of the Trumpet Against the Monstrous Rule of Kings

[Anonymous No.18802525]

>>18801165
Guide into Metaphysical Degenerism

[Anonymous No.18802554]

>>18801165
Wtf thats literally me

[Anonymous No.18802788]

>>18802525
>Guide into Metaphysical Degenerism
A new age spiritual manifestation guide that uses a unique blend of critical disability theory and the law of attraction. Enlightenment via Degeneracy, since genesis seems to have brought us more than a few troubles.

[Anonymous No.18804354]

>>18801306
>LA ACEDEMIA
The tale of a man called steven's journey to become enigmatic doctor Franz Kessel, master of the sciences of the mind in hassen university, admired by all and renowned in the world. Mesmerizing academicians without knowing a lick of psychology/psychiatry/psychoanalysis. A comedy about the academic world made by an anonymous author.

[Anonymous No.18804359]

The Diarrhoea Diaries

[Anonymous No.18804385]

>>18801472
>Gabriel's Stormfront
A gruelling war memoir about a frenzied teen's experiences in the Russian civil war, fighting among the last of the Russian whites, witnessing disastrous republican charges, passing through fabled Madrid, and frantic knife fights among trenches, and of course, meth, a lot of meth.

[Anonymous No.18804449]

>>18801165
The last Nanban.

[Anonymous No.18804726]

>>18804449
a tale of a small tribal man speaking in frightened haphazard blurts of foreign speech, as if he's talking to the spirits, as he realizes he's the last of a kind.

[Anonymous No.18804740]

>>18801165
wtf? literally me

[Anonymous No.18804769]

>>18804740
same

[Anonymous No.18804782]

>>18804740
>>18804769
Poseurs

[Anonymous No.18804876]

>>18804359
>The Diarrhoea Diaries
Somewhat-whacky celebrity-authored travelogue recounting a year's backpacking in India and similar countries.

[Anonymous No.18804905]

>>18802516
Biography Of Jean-Jaques Rousseau

[Anonymous No.18804909]

>>18802516
>The First Blast of the Trumpet Against the Monstrous Rule of Kings
Biography of Jean-Jacques Rousseau

[Anonymous No.18804916]

>>18801165
Generation Zymurgy

[Anonymous No.18804926]

— Life Lessons From Albert Fish

— Embracing The Cactus

— After Orgasm

— What You Do Wrong Every Morning

[Anonymous No.18804945]

>>18804740
>>18804769
say something interesting about society that isn't obvious and pseud tier (ie no quoting marx, lacan, etc)

[Anonymous No.18804954]

>>18804926
> Life Lessons From Albert Fish
Collection of Albert Camus' writings specifically regarding the mediterranean

> Embracing the Cactus
Study on native american representation in southwestern cinema

[Anonymous No.18804967]

>>18804916
>Generation Zymurgy
Comic diary of a zoo attendant who started putting cheap vodka in the animals' food and gradually turned them all into alcoholics.

[Anonymous No.18805019]

>>18801165
Picrel is literally me

[Anonymous No.18805021]

Passion of Jan Tomaszewski

[Anonymous No.18805030]

>>18805019
A collection of self-portaits with short bios on the artists who made them.

[Anonymous No.18805084]

>>18804926
>After Orgasm
a scuentist jerks himself to death trying to research the post-nut clarity phenomena.

ps FUCK JANNIES.

[Anonymous No.18805370]

>>18804945
we should improve it somewhat

[Anonymous No.18805765]

>>18804909
Emily
The Beast
First Treatise on Ethics
Matriarcha, Or, The Natural Power of Queens
De Principatibus (book is real, but was not published under this title)
Discourses on the First Ten Books of De Republica

[Anonymous No.18805769]

>>18801165
Can you behave like this and get away with it? It would make my life much easier.

[Anonymous No.18805787]

>>18801165
oh no

[Anonymous No.18805866]

>>18805769
an office rat sees a group of hobos in natural habitat from his window every day from 9 to 5, wondering if he could ever be as carefree.

[Anonymous No.18805905]

>>18805866
Are you telling me that this is how hobos behave?

[Anonymous No.18805940]

Holy Bilble 2.

[Anonymous No.18806018]

>>18805021
>Passion of Jan Tomaszewski
Famous goalkeeper has an unusual hobby: he draws illustrations for classic novels then surreptitiously sticks them into library copies.

[Anonymous No.18806023]

>>18801165
Die Akademie

[Anonymous No.18806028]

>>18804926
>What You Do Wrong Every Morning

Self help book about the benefits of masturbating when you wake up

>After Orgasm

Sequel self help book written by the author after he spends his royalties larping as a philosopher in some shitty third world country

[Anonymous No.18806077]

>>18801170
>Cathedral of Necrophiliacs
A sequel to A Confederacy of Dunces, where after his mother's death, Ignatius J Reilly becomes the necrophile bane of New Orleans
>>18801171
A study on the increasingly long chain of references to references that suffuse pop culture, and the effects on society of memetic osmosis. The title, of course, being a reference to The Shape of Punk to Come, being a reference to The Shape of Jazz to Come, being a reference to The Shape of Things to Come.
>>18805765
>Emily
A very sloppy "Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote" attempt at writing Jane Austen's Emma, suffuse with errors down to the basic plotline and characterizations
>Titles
A Diddler Passes
The Ides of Starch
Bal(l)(z/s)ac(k)

[Anonymous No.18806086]

The Muse and Her Lies

[Anonymous No.18806138]

>>18806086
>self-insert novel about a simp that donated over 2500 bucks to an e-thot and now takes revenge on her by depicting himself as an extraord'nary gentleman going to her home and brutally murdering her. Some encounters may resemble "Drive".

[Anonymous No.18806139]

>>18806086
>The Muse and Her Lies
Discussion of oddball artists through history (William McGonagall, Ed Wood, etc) who devoted their lives to their calling but didn't actually have any talent.

[Anonymous No.18806361]

— The Triangular Feminist

— One, Two, Three, Five

— The Sex Life Of The Letter P And Other Essays

— One Hundred Uses For A Dead Religion

[Anonymous No.18806497]

>>18806361
>One Hundred Uses For A Dead Religion
Local union of proctologists are on watch for devastating monster that has been visiting them in night terrors. The youngest is successful, but it's inside every patient.

>The Sex Life Of The Letter P And Other Essays
Novel told through essays. Titular essay about a party game last Halloween that consisted of naming sex-related words beginning with P. Moves on to words containing P. The 3 other essays are about party guests before and after that Halloween.

>One, Two, Three, Five
The Devil searches Earth for the greatest living liar.

>The Triangular Feminist
A VP of Hasbro privately draws a caricature of herself as a fat triangle on a whiteboard in a conference room, reports it to HR, and uses the incident to run ever more demanding training and lean-in sessions to drive people out of her department in a will to power narrative heavily inspired by Nightcrawler. Except everyone is really fat. Story includes factoids that aren't well-known about corporate life and being overweight and obese.

[Anonymous No.18807089]

>>18806497
>>One, Two, Three, Five
>The Devil searches Earth for the greatest living liar.
holy fuck, that's a good one. stark and luring. would read.
you should stick in these threads, writebro, and drop some titles too

[Anonymous No.18807181]

>>18805940
>Holy Bilble 2
Pierre Menard but the Bible. This summons the desert djinn known as REDACTED. Story then becomes very Godzillaesque with the globohomo state apparatus fighting REDACTED. Satan-Kali appears as a distributed fungal entity fungifying much of the planet to a halt. REDACTED's psychic vessels continue on in this new psilocybinetic world.

sorry >>18806077

[Anonymous No.18807528]

>>18801170
>piles and piles and piles
Man has a vague memory start to surface every time he enters his garage. Turns out his son and wife have the same feeling. Their dog starts talking to them in their sleep, explaining the ecstatic power of violence. We follow them day to day in their lives as their bloodlust spreads inside their thoughts and they each separately begin planning something extreme. The book ends before anything actually happens. 4 and a half stars on Amazon, 1 review.

[Anonymous No.18807538]

A Metahistory of Vegetables

[Anonymous No.18807553]

Mind the Guide.

[Anonymous No.18807567]

>>18807538
>A Metahistory of Vegetables
A book of aphorisms drawing parallels between pesticides and cultural self preservation.

[Anonymous No.18807595]

>>18807553
>Mind the Guide
Guided tour into the Carlsbad Caverns turns into a survivalist nightmare after an unnamed cataclysmic event (meteor) occurs and seals in multiple groups of people.

[Anonymous No.18807610]

>>18807595
oops forgot pic

[Anonymous No.18807616]

>>18807538
How artificial selection of produce premeditated the ground for tge industrial society and its mind

[Anonymous No.18807624]

>>18805370
i own many rare funkopops

[Anonymous No.18807657]

Fallen Sunshine

[Anonymous No.18807677]

>>18807624
>I Own Many Rare Funkopops
In the style of Alexievich's Voices From Chernobyl, an oral history of the enormous Funko recall (over deletery plastics) with stories from those who parted to those who chose to hang on and suffer to those who run the continuing black market.

[Anonymous No.18807679]

>>18807657
>Fallen Sunshine
A sleazy, Gawker-style cash-grab describing Brittney Spears' plunge from pop superstardom to mental instability and bitter court battles.

[Anonymous No.18807693]

>>18807657
>Fallen Sunshine
A nonfiction historical account of the men who've attempted to weigh light.

[Anonymous No.18807694]

>>18807679
based

[Anonymous No.18807709]

Thank You For Sperming

[Anonymous No.18807725]

The Open Window

[Anonymous No.18807731]

Madam Orphoses: Surviving David Foster Wallace by Mary Karr

[Anonymous No.18807742]

The Seven Storey Magic Mountain

[Anonymous No.18807753]

>>18807725
an essay on the comforting nature of a chance to kill omeself. with this one last freedom taken away - say in captivity, psych wards, or anything of the like - men reach the true heights of despair, like an animal chased into the corner.

[Anonymous No.18807757]

Dolce & Gabbana & Joyce

[Anonymous No.18807767]

>>18807725
Controversial bestseller by the serial rapist known as "Mr Bee" who preyed every summer on ladies living in ground-floor apartments without air-conditioning.

[Anonymous No.18807768]

The Crop Circle Shaped Hole

[Anonymous No.18807777]

Pesterlinks

[Anonymous No.18807782]

You Are Being Redacted

[Anonymous No.18807788]

Caligula IS BACK

[Anonymous No.18807793]

Draculas

[Anonymous No.18807803]

>>18807777
the cybernetic rock bottom. interviews with discarded, outlawed and discontinued artificial intelligences.

[Anonymous No.18807821]

Cumme Fatale

[Anonymous No.18807831]

The Phenomenon of Screens

[Anonymous No.18807841]

A Steel Reserve Beneath the Library Awning

[Anonymous No.18807854]

A Hippo for the Doomed Youth

[Anonymous No.18807861]

Goblin

[Anonymous No.18807867]

>>18807831
a schizophrenic monk's musings on how technology is used by demons to bypass the bindings Solomon put on them

[Anonymous No.18807888]

black is better

[Anonymous No.18807898]

Andrew Cuomo: Translations

[Anonymous No.18807908]

My Dearest Son Is Drunk

[Anonymous No.18807945]

How A Ghastly Story Became of Me

[Anonymous No.18807978]

Flit

[Anonymous No.18808007]

>>18807978
a gay and pedophilic reinterpretation of catcher

[Anonymous No.18808313]

>>18807908
Hemingway's mom's memoirs written in old woman classical blogpost style

[Anonymous No.18808540]

The Body Holes Chronicles

[Anonymous No.18808638]

>>18808540
a trypophobic body horror written in a form of online chat on a holeporn site, new users being confused at first, then more and more finding the cluster hole disease irresistibly sexy

[Anonymous No.18808653]

>From The Void
>The Five Objects
>The Seven Exaltations Of George