/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.18797834]

Every time I get existentially lonely and upset I search for videos online for people talking about that very topic. And though I sometimes find solace in people describing how they deal with painful feelings, I much more often find people explaining away loneliness or loss or unanswerable questions with passages from the bible or even more bizarre, some vague rationalized take on "spirituality" I definitely dont look down on either camp and i find it cringy as hell when autists take cheap shots at religious folk and vaguely spiritual people. Sorry for the blog post but what im getting at is I feel pained by my life circumstances and when I search online for relief and find nothing but some fool spinning tales I feel even more alone. Anyone know any books that could help or does anyone have a take on the concept of people finding comfort hiding in delusion?

[Anonymous No.18798498]

>>18797834
what exactly is your existential question? i would pursue it more specifically.

[Anonymous No.18798531]

>>18798498
coworkers hate me because i am incompetent in my job
my job is unfit to me
if they fire me i dont know what to do next
my job is making me insane. I have to eat (bought illegaly, probably fake) xanax to sit there without breaking apart crying. Few days ago i found out ive been talking to myself out loud while doing tasks. And ive been doing it i dont know how long, probably making coworkers really angry at me.
Seems like loneliness is taking toll on me too. Coworkers sometimes voice their concerns to me, but most often they are angry at me behind my backs, so they say painful things about me and i hear it all. I cant say my concerns to anyone, because no one likes me/they are occupied all the time because of nature of job. When i try to voice my concerns i see look of disgust on their face, they say ok ok, but are never honest with me

[Anonymous No.18798534]

>>18798531
Ok, but what's the question? You just wrote you think people don't like you and it hurts you.

[Anonymous No.18798542]

>>18798534
what should i do?

[Anonymous No.18798560]

>>18798542
Of course you’d be in pain if your work conditions are dreadful. The obvious answer is to do something else.

[Anonymous No.18799540]

>>18798531
What's the job?

[Anonymous No.18800745]

>>18797834
I got you covered.

[Anonymous No.18800770]

>>18797834
>>18798531
I feel your pain. I just want a place where I can be accepted and excel. I don't know what to do. The only place I am exceptional is in my fantasies. The xanax probably makes you psychotic a little, no? or affects your mood? if you are talking to yourself already, try some self dialogue to plunge the depths. In this way you will get something out of it.

[Anonymous No.18800796]

>>18800745
Pretty much this.

[Anonymous No.18801083]

>>18797834
>I much more often find people explaining away loneliness or loss or unanswerable questions with passages from the bible
I sincerely hoped that the Bible had more inspiring and intelligible things in it. The OT is... well it's God telling people to do things and so on. I eventually started reading the NT, the Gospels... I see nothing in them. It's just self-referencing over and over to say "I am the son of God, if you believe that I am, you'll go to heaven" over and over. The Devil tempts Jesus and there is zero widsom in that passage. Jesus just rebukes him after the Devil asks for miracles. What was the point of that? There are no teachings about life, sensible words or anything that looks like guidance in this book, it's just reaffirmation over reaffirmation of the lifestyle and practices of sheep herding people. It's full of contradictions, if everything in this is 4D chess allegory I don't understand it.
I don't know maybe I am just expecting too much but this book is incredibly dry. I did see enough of Buddhism to become disillusioned about it but there is far more concrete, reachable wisdom in the Buddha's suttas than in the Bible, even when extracted from the context of Hinduism. The Bible is just "see I am right, here's a miracle to prove it" and everyone clapped, or "do this and you'll go to heaven", "God said this and I'm proving it here, so I am right". "this guy did a bad thing and God incinerated him". It doesn't even try to make an argument on anything or show some sort of wisdom, it's just "do this, I am right".
What the hell am I missing? I can't believe that my entire civilization had this book in such high regard and semi-illiterate people read the passages here and feel this blissful knowledge washing over them. What the fuck am I doing wrong? I must be reading it wrong.

[Anonymous No.18801164]

>>18801083
>search "understanding the bible"
>Every answer to this is "you cannot understand it because you're not close enough to God. When you are fully committed the meaning will unveil itself"
Does that mean I have to just turn off my brain completely and be so invested in faith that the Bible could have ancient recipes in it and I'd see meaning in it just the same? Is this what Christianity says?
I'm so tired and frustrated. This isn't even a real book, this is just something that people could get away with because their lives were so much more carefee that anything else would've worked. I cannot see this point in this otherwise. Are Christians just inherently LARPers? Is it really all about reading a phonebook and pretending with other people in club that it's mystical wisdom?

[Anonymous No.18801175]

>>18801083
Idk either man, Christianity just fills me with dread most of the time, may be my catholic upbringing and fear of hell, but I don’t get it either. And obviously the bible is mostly just bizarre, even a super charitable metaphorical approach to the religion as a whole doesn’t seem to work for me.

[Anonymous No.18801193]

>>18798498
woah what the fuck >>18798531 hijacked my thread asshole Im the OP. Im not some kind of retard that cant get a xanax plug. The nature of my existential freakout is that I have awful narcissist parents that constantly sabotage my independence at any cost. Including constantly impeding my progress in college. Nothing is sacred. Its the kind of truly pathetic person who is so miserable that they need to find someone helpless enough to stifle to make them feel better. Im existentially horrified im going to waste away my life doing shit i dont want. I have some tiny traction in the type of work I want to be doing but I still cant completely take care of myself. Thinking about how helpless I am makes me literally freak the fuck out. I know what I have to literally do (make money become autonomous completely) but all the uncertainty and the CRUSHING loneliness and the memories of childhood are so debilitating honestly. I just loose myself in the work.

>>18798531
you are a stupid faggot and you clearly cant write at the level as I did in the OP.

>>18801083
Its truly the interpretation of whatever sociopath preacher that can wrangle enough down on their luck or just gullible people. Back in the actual times of the in inception of the bible, normal people weren't even allowed to read it if they could read. The idea was to say whatever they wanted the bible to say. I think most people rely on this translated and re-translated directors cut of vague allegorical stories just because Christianity is so dominant in our culture. (i live in America) Based on my experience If I even question the validity of this bronze age book of actual bullshit It would trigger this fear response because without the bible to fill the existential hole for the average person their grasp on reality is gone and thats just too much. I think this is why you see a lot of people now trading the bible for these made up spiritual concepts.

[Anonymous No.18801368]

>>18801193
>Back in the actual times of the in inception of the bible, normal people weren't even allowed to read it if they could read. The idea was to say whatever they wanted the bible to say.
I would agree with this but so much was built on the Christian faith. And people who are far better than me refer to the scriptures as this treasury of wisdom. There are far too many people I respect intellectually who actively praise the text for me to believe that it's all a Ron Hubbard tier scam with no meaning. If people really just read this with their brain turned off and LARP that they're gifted with joy then this will turn into my most final blackpill. I cannot imagine this. There must be something I am missing. Way too many passionate people in history, way too much that was done with this belief in mind.

[Anonymous No.18801534]

>>18801368
Oh absolutely I agree there are far more intellectually gifted people than me that are christian or believe in the bible. Im not really trying to say you would have to be stupid to believe this. To give Christians the benefit of the doubt they are positing answers to questions no one has and no one will ever have most likely. And the bible definitely has great value in the allegorical meaning of the stories as a means of teaching a moral ideal. I severely fuck with that idea. But be honest, most Christians youve come into contact with take the bible varying amounts of literal. However much they need to not freak out and rip their skin off. Im personally getting very frustrated when Im reaching out for relief from these aching tender feelings and I constantly come into contact with people taking liberal interpretations of whatever idealized fantasy story they've concocted whether it be christianty or something else entirely.

[Anonymous No.18801585]

>>18801534
I wonder if any of the resident crossfriends have a non meme answer because I'm getting closer and closer to a David Foster Wallace ending and every sign points to the idea that finding faith is the one and last shot I have.

[Anonymous No.18801604]

>tfw dropout
I would've had a meme degree probably but it burns so much that I never finished. I was doing well and close to finishing too. I just quit studying because I became depressed to the point where I couldn't get out of bed.
Too many years have gone by. Maybe today I would be able to have the enthusiasm to finish but I'd have to start over.
I still think I signed off of life when I dropped out. I just accepted I didn't want to live and spent every year since living off inertia and not wanting to give grief to my family.
I'm so envious of the people here who attend collage. It may look like a meme but don't drop out ever, just finish your commitment it means a lot.