/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.18464368]

Are there any books out there that can help me fix myself?

I’m essentially a self-loathing man of inaction. I’ve always wanted to be a better person, to become an improved version of my previous self but so many things that seem to come easily to others are so difficult for me to do. I’ve only ever wanted to be an inspiration to others and to help but every day I feel like everyone would be better off without me.

Is pic related worth reading? Will it help me understand why I keep fucking everything up and I how I can stop it?

[Anonymous No.18464379]

>>18464368
I’m sorta like this pic but even when I was productive I was barely coping with the workload of everything.

My parents have kinda fucked me up. Grew up obese. Recently got diagnosed with ADHD? Maybe I have some psychological issues resulting from that?

Are there any good books that talk about the long term consequences of that sorta stuff?

[Anonymous No.18464525]

>>18464368
The Bible.

[Anonymous No.18464555]

>>18464368
No one on /lit/ knows where the answers you need are, and anyone that claims to know is a fool not to be trusted

If Atomic Habits seems like it might be helpful then just start reading it, else you risk entering into a different form of procrastination: delaying action under some pretext. Start reading it. If it doesn't seem helpful try a different book

[Anonymous No.18464560]

The War of Art

[Anonymous No.18464563]

This thread

[Anonymous No.18464600]

>>18464368
>Are there any books out there that can help me fix myself?
No. Not to be rude, but your mindset is clearly unhealthy and you need to focus on what YOU should be doing to fix your problem instead of relying on and blaming external factors. Don't bother reading books like these unless you're already making a serious effort to improve yourself.

[Anonymous No.18465031]

>cut off your internet access
>Do >>18464563
>get a secondhand kindle
>get a copy of goggins book from lib gen (your dopamine junkie brain will need something easy and enjoyable to read)
>Daily long walks

[Anonymous No.18465086]

>>18464368
Stop disappointing the man in the mirror and you will be happy

[Anonymous No.18465125]

>>18465086
Where is this from?

[Anonymous No.18465200]

>>18465125
It's a poem from Peter Dale Wimbrow Sr.

[Anonymous No.18465231]

>>18464368
Books aren't going to fix you
Go out and do something useful
If you insist on reading get yourself a copy of meditations

[Anonymous No.18465389]

>>18464368
I just read that book and let me tell you, it's not that good. I'd recommend downloading it for free and going to pages 212-213. Has everything you need to know.

He divides the book by the four variables that help build or destroy habits.

Visibility
Attractiveness
Effort required
Satiety

If you want to build a particularly good habit, make it as visible, attractive, easy, and satiating as possible.

If you want to free yourself from a bad habit, make it as invisible (out of sight, out of mind), repulsive, difficult, and unsatisfying as possible. For instance, I used to play a lot of videogames, so I started to take apart my PC setup and put it in my closet.
1. Couldn't see the PC, no visual cue to crave vidya
2. Always thought about how those 4000 hours of playing CSGO could've been put to something better
3. Too lazy to set up my PC again/remember steam password
4. Do something else that is more meaningful.

I hope that serves as a quick rundown of the book. Seriously though, don't buy it. I just summarized the entirety of the book.

[Anonymous No.18465473]

>>18465389
>I just read that book and let me tell you, it's not that good.

I agree with this assessment. But OP should read it anyway. It's not going to solve all your problems -- nothing will. It may give you some tools to start moving in the right direction.

Also, be kind to yourself. Life isn't a game. You can live a happy, meaningful life and not achieve anything at all.

What do you want? Take a step in that direction and stop tripping over things that are behind you.

>Seriously though, don't buy it.

Also, libraries exist. You can read a thousand self-help books for free.

[Anonymous No.18465519]

>>18464368
>Are there any books out there that can help me fix myself?

Read Schopenhauer's On the Fourfold Root of the Principle of Sufficient Reason.

You will always be who you are. Character can't be changed.

[Anonymous No.18465539]

>>18465519
That's bullshit lmao
All this "accept your flaws never improve" shit is guaranteed to make people die alone and miserable

[Anonymous No.18465555]

>>18464368
Honestly, just make a large, irreversible change. A book won't do anything by itself, and people have an amazing ability to remain stagnant.

The best thing you can do is read Atomic Habits, How to Win Friends and Influence People, or any other self-help book, and then move to a different country, join the army, or enroll in university classes.

[Anonymous No.18465566]

>>18464368
No book can fix you. At best it'll give you some patterns that have helped others. At worst it will server as a distraction from your central issues.

If you must read a book, read Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg, the Stanford professor whose work is used by large tech companies to get you addicted to their apps (not joking, look it up).

For the fastest method of radical change in behavior, permanently change your environment.

[Anonymous No.18465599]

>>18464368
First of all, it's good that you are striving to fix yourself.
I am also trying to fix myself and this is what I
have stumbled upon, take it with a grain of salt
because it will be hard and may not help you at all.
Here go the book recommendations :

Self Compassion by Mckay, Marsha [Mckay, Marsha.

Emotional Agility by Susan David.

And just try to look for stuff on emotional intelligence on your own.
You will get better OP, just open up to it.

[Anonymous No.18466111]

dont read books to improve yourself, just build habits. write down a list of things you want to do regularly every day or week on a white board (get excercise, shave, shower, brush your teeth, make your bed, talk to people, look for a (better) job, etc.) and check them off when you do them.

[Anonymous No.18466115]

>>18464368

[Anonymous No.18466123]

>>18465519
Even if that was true which I don't think it is. A person can't live thinking that way, saying that to someone who hates themself is as good as telling them to kill themself.

[Anonymous No.18466133]

>>18464368
I hate this self help crap so fucking much, self help is itself a distraction to stop you from helping yourself. You know how to form good habits, you just don't because you spend your time reading a book by a 'habit expert' instead, you know how to get projects done, you just don't because you spend your time reading a book about 'deep work' instead. STOP READING AND JUST FORCE YOURSELF TO DO THE THING YOU WANT TO DO

[Anonymous No.18466224]

>>18466133
If you hate the idea of self-help it says something about you imo

[Anonymous No.18466233]

>>18466115

[Anonymous No.18466951]

>>18466115
I read the war on art, it was pretty cringe. I didn't like it that much and didn't get anything useful out of it

[Anonymous No.18467133]

You should meditate, anon. Everything will fall into place.

https://www.dhammatalks.org/books/WithEachAndEveryBreath/Section0001.html

[Anonymous No.18467243]

>>18464563
This sounds really good, actually; I want to try this. Only problem is that my work requires me to work on a laptop

[Anonymous No.18467301]

>>18464368
Honestly, Deep Work, Models, and No More Mr. Nice Guy helped me the most. For two weeks, I recorded what I was spending my time on and was horrified at how much time was spent on porn and video games per week. I put limits on how much of that material I use each week and it really helped with my general anxiety about everything.

[Anonymous No.18467381]

>>18465539

> That's bullshit lmao
All this "accept your flaws never improve" shit is guaranteed to make people die alone and miserable

People can definitely improve but there's a bit of truth in that there are inherent qualities and traits in people that don't quite change, and a person has to lean into their natural strengths and weaknesses to actualize. The problem with self help books is that they're one-size-fits-all solutions and the people that the advice would be most helpful to are probably already employing it. If the advice comes down to "just be more concientious bro" and you simply aren't concientious, tough luck.

When I started to observe and record my instances of highest productivity instead of trying to forcefully fit myself into the mold of "successful person" I realized that I'm not inherently lazy I just have a more manic productivity pattern that I actively suppress because it's "not healthy" and doesn't fit in with a 9-5 work schedule. It would be easier if I was built different but I'm not. It helps to remember that very few successful people do this "muh self improvement" shit and just have a natural inclination towards behaviors that society rewards them for whether that's being a workaholic NPC or being obsessed with money/status or boundless intellectual curiosity.

[Anonymous No.18467396]

>>18464368
Read this, it will give you some perspective.

[Anonymous No.18468204]

>>18464368
Go Ape

[Anonymous No.18469657]

>>18464563
>mfw reading this at 3AM

>I wasted time improving online personas and gaming avatars
I really feel that. Having played games since I was probably around 5, so for at least 16 years, somehow I feel like I'd be getting rid of a big part of myself, but in the end it's all in the past. Nowadays I play videogames because I never did otherwise even though the shitty League of Legends I play (and have been for the past 8 years) is almost always a frustrating experience. Maybe I really should try and make gaming a happy memory from my past instead of a shitty way to spend my hours as an adult. Not that I feel like completely dropping it I might just play something casual and singleplayer every now and then. My uncle used to give me Humble Bundle games so I've got probably some 200 games I've never even played.
Sorry for the whining, as I said it's late and I'm sleepy, and thanks for posting this, anon.

[Anonymous No.18469977]

>>18466233
Based.
>>18466115
Cringe

[Anonymous No.18470550]

>>18466224
You didn't read my post at all, I don't hate 'self-help' I hate the self-help industry and how completely worthless most of it is.