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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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1846181 No.1846181 [Reply] [Original]

I'm sitting on the toilet as I write this. At this very moment, three cups of coffee are sloshing around in my guts with some cereal, looking for a way out. I can feel it. They're getting desperate. They aren't too picky about the method of escape (and at this point neither am I). But as I said, I'm currently sitting on my ass. Consciously or not, I've placed my bet. Worst case scenario the floor gets covered in a bitter black stew with little orange and green life-preservers.
Five minutes go by. The pressure is building and I think I'll explode, from one end or the other. My stomach rumbles. My esophagus tightens. I dry heave. Get off the toilet. On my knees, bowing before the throne now. And then it happens. Wrong choice.
It's everywhere, I mean it's on my socks. It's in my socks.
My girlfriend's parents are never going to invite me over ever again.

>> No.1846182

I am laughing so hard right now. I think it's because I haven't slept in a day and a half.

>> No.1846183

give this man the fucking nobel prize

>> No.1846187

This makes me wish spoiler tags were a thing that could be put into actual print, like with some sort of black tabs the reader can pull up.

I want to invent this technology and then use it to publish this work of art

>> No.1846194

>>1846187
Yea when I read a book my eyes always wander down the page.

>> No.1846196

I knew a friend who went to a girl's house, took a shit and it clogged the toilet.

He found a magazine and scooped it up and put it in a drawer in her room and left.

He said he hasn't spoken to her to since.

He's not exactly Einstein

>> No.1846199

>>1846196
I don't even need to look at the spoilers to laugh at this one.

>> No.1846200

this is art

>> No.1846457
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1846457

>mfw this is the best thing I will ever write

>> No.1846464

itt:samefag
I didn't laugh and you can't write for shit
No pun intended
Because you suck at writing
This is just generic /b/ shit
It's not good at all

>> No.1846477
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1846477

>not having a shit in someone's house that clogs the toilet so you scoop it up and put it in the bath and try and force it down the plug with your foot and then you stick of shit so you jump in the bath and get all wet and then dry yourself, clothes and all with their hairdryer and they don't suspect a thing
i seriously hope you guys don't do this

>> No.1846480
File: 43 KB, 150x152, 1299902998969.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1846480

>not having a fucking plunger.

I seriously hope you guys don't do this.

Spread the fucking word. There are people like me who regularly clog toilets with shit alone, and not being able to shit for an entire weekend while I'm at someone else's apartment is fucking horrible.

>> No.1846504

That was pretty entertaining there.

>> No.1846790

>>1846464
>implying this was intended to be anything more than that

>> No.1846925
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1846925

>> No.1846998

so this is the kind of short stories that 4chan likes!