What is your most embarrassing literature-related moment?

[Anonymous No.18455499]

>having a family get together
>have been reading Technological Slavery
>accidentally call my Uncle Ned “Uncle Ted” three times in a row
>whole family sitting around the table stares at me: “who is this Uncle Ted that you keep mixing up with Ned?”

[Anonymous No.18455547]

>Bring The Story of the Eye to school because I want to read it in study hall
>I have it with me along with my other books on my lunch break, am hanging out with some friends in the library including a girl I like
>A friend is goofing around and picks it up and starts reading aloud from it.
>I am desperately trying to get it back from him but he pushes me away, holding it out of reach, continuing to read
>He hits an explicit part and falls silent, turns red, and quietly gives it back to me.
>Girls are like WHAT WHAT IS IT, WHAT'S IN IT
>I manage to keep it away from them for the rest of lunch but the damage is done

[Anonymous No.18455582]

>>18455499
i was talking to my friend and i said that an old anthropologist he was reading was probably inaccurate. i didnt think when i said it, it was rather rude

[Anonymous No.18455617]

>>18455499
In middle school I wrote a story about how my dad shit himself

[Anonymous No.18455628]

>>18455547
You should have blamed him and said he made it up. Just refuse to show them the book afterwards. Say it’s a personal book

[Anonymous No.18455671]

>>18455499
I remember writing about game theory behind nuclear war in 5th grade of elementary. I found the copy of it later and felt pretty emberassed, but than I reread it and was actually impressed about how good it was.

[Anonymous No.18455683]

>be nihilist after watching William Lane Craig's videos
>talking to family
>say I'm a nihilist
>aunt looks at me confused and asks me what did I just say
>say that I'm a nihilist
>she smirks and says nihilist
>metaphorically die of embarrassment cause not only is saying you're a nihilist kind of pseud but I also said it completely wrong

[Anonymous No.18455689]

>>18455628
that would make it worse

[Anonymous No.18455696]

>>18455499
>cousin comes for dinner
>hey anon, what's that?
>he's holding Atomized
>I could have sworn I left it in my room
>fucker literally entered my room and took a book out like he was at home
>opens book to marked page
>jesus anon, are you into orgies?
>trad father and uncle nearby
>they both turn and read that one passage where Bruno describes the orgy in Paris

[Anonymous No.18455708]

>>18455683
Did you aspirate the h

[Anonymous No.18455731]

>>18455708
Uuuh I'm not familiar with phonetic terminology but probably?

[Anonymous No.18455834]

>>18455683
Reminds me of that time an autist here became a laughing stock after learning that the P in pseud is silent.

[Anonymous No.18455841]

>Be a Brazilian doing a semester of Uni abroad
>Befriend really cute Polish girl.
>She sees me reading The Savage Detectives
>"Oh, Anon, I did my Erasmus in Spain. I really love Garcia Marques, but never read Bolaño, how is it?...", and we talk about Garcia Marques and Bolaño for a while. (All our conversations are short, 10 to 20 minutes during lunch break.)
>A week later, she sees me reading Steppenwolf
>"Oh, anon, Hesse is one of my favourite authors. Have you read Siddhartha? No? You should, it's really great"
>A few days later, I find her reading Morgendlandfahrt (I've never seen her read before). We talk more about Hesse.
>I find out she hates Kafka. I try to understand why, but fail. It's all very light hearted, anyway.
>Next week, I'm once more reading in the same place as always and she comes very gleefully:
>"Hi, anon. How are you?"
>We talk for a bit, than:
>"See, you got me inspired, and I bought a Brazilian book. It's wonderful, I'm enjoying it very much."
>What could it be? Machado de Assis? Clarice Lispector? Jorge Amado? She takes the book out of her backpack:
>The Aleph, by Paulo Coelho
>I literally laugh out loud.
>She gets a bit angry with my reaction and ask for explanations. I never actually read Paulo Coelho, so she doesn't accept any of the reasons I give.
We kept being friends, but she never talked about literature with me again.

[Anonymous No.18455842]

>reading at a bar in public
>two beers deep, too dark to read but I keep pretending
>finally some drunk guy comes up to me to give me the attention i was craving
>well, what are ya reading?
>...a book

i die of cringe everytime i think of this

[Anonymous No.18455855]

>>18455628
autism

[Anonymous No.18455856]

>>18455834
hahah...yeah every retard knows that, there is no chance that someone would think P isnt silent
it actually isnt silent in my language how the fuck am I supposed to know its different in english?

[Anonymous No.18455879]

>>18455842
Why are you reading in a bar in the first place?

[Anonymous No.18455882]

>>18455841
Damn, this one hurts. The fact she actually spent money on it shows she was probably interested in you.

[Anonymous No.18455905]

>>18455683
your aunt was trying to fuck you thats why she smirked

[Anonymous No.18455915]

>>18455696
what did they say? " I want a copy "
>>18455879
he was "craving attention" AHAHAHAH

[I hate women No.18455976]

>>18455842
based and kek

[Anonymous No.18455983]

>>18455841
Should have bought the Borges one.

[Anonymous No.18455986]

>>18455547
It's not an embarrassing, story, but I started to read The Story of the Eye while waiting in line to buy a ticket at a bus station. It was just before an important holiday, it was extremely busy and all buses were delayed. Already in the first page I started reading the book half open, so that the person behind me couldn't read it over my shoulder. Suddenly, someone touches my shoulder: it's a friend's boyfriend. We never talked before, but he just left the line and approached me to tell that there was a shorter line if I was travelling inside the state (I wasn't). Than he saw the book cover:
"Oh... This is a weird one... Really disturbing..." He looks at the TV screen with the departures "Have to go. See ya".
I never met him again.

[Anonymous No.18455991]

>>18455547
do you thank me for recommending it on this board?

[Anonymous No.18455997]

>>18455882
Yes, I know. I only figured it out midway though my explanation of why Paulo Coelho is bad and it definitely didn't help me finding a smooth way out.

[Anonymous No.18456015]

>>18455499
>reading Mishima
>someone asks me about him, they never heard of him
>tell them he was a Japanese nationalist who killed himself after attempting to overthrow the government
>also said I really like his works
Now they think I'm a fucking NIPPON TENNO HEIKA BANZAI lunatic.

[Anonymous No.18456025]

>>18455997
Why is he bad? I almost bought the Alchemist.

[Anonymous No.18456034]

There was a time in middle school when a poem I wrote for class made my teacher cry. Also that phase in highschool where I carried around books to look impressive but I stopped that pretty quick.

[Anonymous No.18456067]

>>18455841
>>18455882
>>18455997
>>18456025
Damn, anons, I can see myself doing something like that (another brazilian anon here).
From Paulo Coelho I have only read "Veronica decide morrer". I didn't find it really awful to be honest. It was just really, REALLY forgetable.
You messed up, anon. You could have banged that polish cute.

[Anonymous No.18456090]

>>18456025
Well, as I said, I haven't read it, but it gets a very bad press in any minimally intellectual circle in Brazil for being new-age self help (what it objectively is). Coelho's books have little literary value, are completely disconnected from any aesthetic in Brazilian literature and aren't as deep as they seem. It's a soccer mom's book. But they sell really well.
Paulo Coelho alone probably makes more money than all other Brazilian writers combined, so saying "Paulo Coelho bad" is one of the most common memes in rl Brazilian /lit/. Even someone who only reads YA is often trained to say "Paulo Coelho bad".

[Anonymous No.18456097]

>>18455991
This was pre-/lit/

[Anonymous No.18456129]

>>18456090
>Coelho's books have little literary value [...]
I should have said artistic* instead of literary*

[Anonymous No.18456150]

>>18456097
better than food or iceage?

[Anonymous No.18456162]

>>18456090
maybe you should stop being a slave NPC and form your own opinions

[Anonymous No.18456170]

>>18456090
"Veronica decide morrer" is interesting because it talks (kinda) about his period in a psychiatric hospital. There's some passages about how some people are there just in order to avoid working (NEETs) and eletroshock theraphy.
It's one of his most personal books,
I suppose.
Also, MAN, he did make it BIG!

[Anonymous No.18456208]

>>18456162
I don't care enough abut him to have my own opinion, I have better shit to read. And I'm very open about it, I try to never say that Paulo Coelho is bad, but only that he is perceived as a hack.
But you don't have to have read The Learned Disguise to laugh at a Waldum meme. I was caught off guard and laughed when I shouldn't.
The sad part is that I really wasn't laughing at her at all, as I hope >>18456067 would understand. Coelho is fully a meme in Brazil. Imagine someone says "Oh, you are American? I'm reading an American book right now" and shows you Call of the Crocodile. It's (almost) literally this.

[Anonymous No.18456213]

>>18456170
>>18456090
Coelho's like a light version of salman rushdie. I only read Veronica decides to die and the alchemist, and while I found Veronica to be quite forgettable indeed the alchemist is a well written book that gets its bad reputation solely because of its success.

[Anonymous No.18456230]

>>18455879
>>18455915

i wasn't actually craving attention, anything but. who wants attention from a drunk guy? maybe a drunk girl...alas

i just thought it would be a nice thing to have a drink and read with some buzzing going on around me. im way too much of a sperg to pull it off though.

[Anonymous No.18456256]

>>18455856
p before s is silent in English. learn English

[Anonymous No.18456258]

>>18455499
God what a fag. I hate zoomers.

[Anonymous No.18456362]

I read this book, pic related..

>A robot invaded a smart home, grows a giant penis and rapes the feminist living alone inside the house. His whole plan is to make a human hybrid of himself.

Yeah.. that was an interesting first book to start my sci-fi book reading journey lol

[Anonymous No.18456402]

>>18455683
Based aunt.

[Anonymous No.18456418]

>>18456015
Would you rather they think that or that you're gay? When I expressed an appreciation for Mishima's work And the general corpus of Fascism they said I came off as a homoman

[Anonymous No.18457007]

>>18456418
Fascism does attract a lot of homosexuals.

[Anonymous No.18457028]

High school English, teacher makes me write the opening paragraph of an essay I wrote on the nigger board. She then circles with pink chalk all the words I used that were "made up" and said if I actually read books I'd develop a real vocabulary.

[Anonymous No.18457536]

>be me
>9th grade
>newly moved to new school, don’t know much about anyone
>english teacher gives us an assigment. Read book and present what it was about and the like
>not a reader back then
>remember this one book I read by Sydney Sheldon
>I have two weeks to prepare
>constipation.exe engaged
>wait until school starts and then read through it as fast as I can
>start making shit up about the book and trying to make the kids laugh
>teacher writes me a B- while giggling
>said I am a good comedian
Thanks miss Ettelt. Also the kids started talking to me at lunch that day. Felt niceu

[Anonymous No.18457541]

>>18455683
I pronounce it nigh-ill-ist, is that right?

[Anonymous No.18457551]

>be me
>be german
>want to read stirner
>decide to order Der Einzige und sein Eigentum online through a local bookstore
>go to pick it up
>store is only open for picking up orders because of corona
>wearing mask
>the day i ordered it i came up with what i thought was a sick piece of small talk
>decide to use it on the person processing my order, no matter who it's gonna be
>rehearsing the bit in my head
>hoping for a cute girl
>go up to the register and it's a middle aged woman
>tell her i ordered a book
>she says "name?"
>i thought she asked for the author's name and say "Max Stirner"
>she's typing it in and says no one by that name ordered anything
>i explain and give her my name
>already cringing
>she gets the book
>as she hands it to me i prepare for my badass small talk bit
>start by saying "you know-" right as she gives me the total
>off we go again
>mumbling under my mask "you know if I adhered to the philosophy that this book is talking about i would steal this book hehe"
>"I'm sorry come again?"
>keep mumbling "well this book talks about egoism... it's about you know, being your own creative nothing"
>she doesn't seem to understand
>"it's not that important"
>asks me to pay again
>struggle to get the money out of my wallet with the book in my hand
>leave
>as i exit i shake my head and realize i did not act like an egoist

[Anonymous No.18457553]

>>18457551
kekkle my fucking shekle

[Anonymous No.18457563]

>>18455683
>walking to the shop
>some chav calls me a speccy-spacker
>the absolute nerve
>tell him his words don't affect me because I'm a stoyc
>laughs at me and says "it's stoic you mong"
>go home and cry

[Anonymous No.18457567]

There was this one fantasy book I was reading when I was like 14 and it had a sex scene where an orc queen forced a man to have sex with her. I beat of my meat to that a bunch of time and it resulted in the book being worn out and opening on those pages by itself when you opened the book. My dad found it and I tried to explain away why the book was so worn out on those specific pages... I don't think he bought it

[Anonymous No.18457579]

>>18457541
I just looked it up, yes that's correct.

I feel stupid. I always thought of it as nuh-hill-list. Good thing I never talk to people, I'd be so embarrassed

[Anonymous No.18457588]

>>18457541
>>18457579
Have either of you not watched The Big Lebowski?

[Anonymous No.18457589]

>>18457567
What’s the name of the book anon

[Anonymous No.18457594]

Is this the correct way to pronounce nihilist?
https://voca.ro/1mqmDSCcSb5u

[Anonymous No.18457595]

>>18455683
well how did you say it? you just typed nihilist three times without any indication how you pronounced it

[Anonymous No.18457597]

>>18457589
>>18457567
I don't know what the name of the book was, but if someone can let me know I'd be grateful

[Anonymous No.18457609]

>>18457594
Yes boi.

[Anonymous No.18457615]

>>18457567
the cringe part is not the fact that you jerked off to it or that you had to explain to your father why it opened like that. the cringe is that you read scifi

[Anonymous No.18457625]

wrote a poem for a girl in 4th grade and my friends ran around the school sharing to everyone and laughing at it before first period (pun intended)

she is now fat and I am happy. I still had a great childhood.

[Anonymous No.18457632]

>>18457595
Nigh hill list
Idk how to do IPA or whatever it is sorry

[Anonymous No.18457638]

>>18457625
same deal here except she became a fat lesbian

[Anonymous No.18457665]

>>18457588
No, I haven't watched it. I've only seen the well that's just like your opinion man meme

[Anonymous No.18457951]

>>18455499
Someone recommended Gödel, Escher, Bach to me and I said which books.

[Anonymous No.18458008]

>>18457579
I shall a-nuh-hill-late you for this

[Anonymous No.18458035]

>>18457567
WE NEED THE BOOK

[Anonymous No.18458100]

Mom found the Wordsworth Classic Erotica collection

[Anonymous No.18458118]

i asked the book store if they had any 'go-eth'

[Anonymous No.18458122]

>>18458118
LMAO it's Gooter you absolute pleb.

[Anonymous No.18458130]

i read these books by Conn Igdulen about Ceasar when i was a kid. Someone in my family bought them for me and neglected to mention that they were 'alternate history'

went about a decade believing that ceasar did everything in them , despite them being wildly historically inaccurate

[Anonymous No.18458143]

>>18456090
>500 million
Gawd damn, props to him I guess

[Anonymous No.18458145]

>freshman year of college in some low level lit class
>I mispronounce Camus' name and the professor goes on to focus in on that and talk about how it's okay to make mistakes
>feel like an idiot
It was almost absurd. I don't know how I managed to make that blunder. Did they not say his name out loud before?

[Anonymous No.18458157]

>>18457551
And they say Germans aren't funny lmao

[Anonymous No.18458165]

>>18458145
If it makes you feel better, my philosophy professor mispronounced every non English name

[Anonymous No.18458177]

>>18457541
Yes, I learned as a kid this from The Big Lebowski

[Anonymous No.18458199]

>>18458165
Thanks, anon. I suppose it does.

[Anonymous No.18458222]

>>18455499
>tfw sold all my literature to travel to watch Black Sabbath + Megadeth play live
I lost my grammar books, Kafka, Kant and a copy of The Republic and I never found them again in any library. It sucks. To make things worse, I listen to Megadeth now and it sounds like fucking shit. Black Sabbath is ok though.

[Anonymous No.18458374]

>>18455499
>write fantasy novel in middle school
>have mom read it and "edit" it (literally just correcting misspelled words)
>write edgy fantasy and horror stories in high school, she edits them
>in early college, write a story that's essentially a mix between death note and battle royale, with cute high school girls mixed in
>there's a small temporary romance where a high school girl (17) gains an advantage in the game and her older brother's GF (26) makes strong moves on her and they hold hands and even kiss once
>not really thinking much about it, send to mother for editing
>says she stopped reading because it was creepy
>asks why I'd write a story about a pedophile
>explain to her that the girl is a bad person and ends up the main antagonist by the end and dies
>"I don't care, I don't think you should write things like this."
And that's when I lost my mom as a beta reader. Felt really weird. She hasn't read anything of mine since, because she no longer "approves" of my hobby, though she has never said it outright.

Also, one more that I've told on /lit/ before but it's a classic:
>at college
>sitting in hall, waiting for a class
>just received a proof for a book, scanning pages to make sure there are any w i d e lines or other things that need to be taken care of
>black ham planet waddles down the hall and stops in front of me
>"Oh, I know dat book."
>I look up and smile "Yeah, it's pretty good."
>"Yeah, iz gud. Yeah I'm a reader."
>I say nothing, stare at book pages.
>"Yeah, I read it before, iz gud."
>continue ignoring
>she continues waddling down the hall
Either she was hacking amazon's servers to read my unpublished book or that beast was into nerdy white boys.

[Anonymous No.18458384]

>>18458374
based writer

[Anonymous No.18458401]

>>18458374
>says she stopped reading because it was creepy
>asks why I'd write a story about a pedophile
>17 and 26
>pedophile
jfc your mother is completely retarded. not only is that not pedophilia by any non-twitter definition, it's also the textbook example for a completely unproblematic age difference. people that think 17=pedo and 18=a-okay are the lowest of the low. they simply know the law says 18 so anything else is sick and criminal. Nothing demonstrates inability to think for oneself like this retarded take. Spit in your mother's face next time you see her

[Anonymous No.18458656]

>be me, 17 or 18
>hanging out with my uncles and cousins.
>we're all drinking and visiting in the backyard. >I've just got back into serious reading and had started dabbling in reading poetry.
>have read a few poems by Shelley and a few poems by Robert Frost
>topic of books comes up
>uncle says he likes Michael Crichton
>"Michael Crichton is just empty action-movie stuff"
>other uncle who's always very diplomatic says, "Who do you like to read?"
>"Robert Frost"
>"Does he write better stories than Michael Crichton?"
>"He's a poet."
>deadly silence from everyone
>my criticism was obviously out of place and invalid, and my preference was obviously quite gay
>never speak of literature or the arts to my family ever again
>cringe to death in the shower when this memory pops up every 8-12 months

[Anonymous No.18459333]

>finish moby dick
>start crying
>mum comes to my room to console me

>read possibility of an island to mum
>the part about old people
>start crying mid sentence and finish reading it sobbing

i wish i wasn't such a faggot

[Anonymous No.18459408]

>>18455499
Once in my undergrad I read an assigned reading of Gertrude Stein in French, not knowing she was American. I then made a fool of myself in class saying she's better in french.

[Anonymous No.18459431]

>>18457551
this is how I picture every Stirner's fan.
Shame is definitely way stronger than any morality.

[Anonymous No.18459519]

>>18459408
Well with a name like “Gertrude Stein,” how were you supposed to know she wasn’t French?

[Anonymous No.18459546]

>>18459519
I have Google like everyone else. I deserved my shame, doubly so because I made a mistake while trying to be a smug asshole.

[Anonymous No.18459555]

>>18459519
>>18459546
And there are french Jews. Still no excuse though.

[Anonymous No.18459568]

>>18458145
I intentionally mispronounce every French name just to piss off other people.
But, c'mon, one of the most pretentious things is to pronounce foreign names perfectly in the middle of a conversation. I'm not talking about not even trying, and in certain contexts you should pronounce everything perfectly, but every language has some subtle pronunciation rules that if broken midphrase, sound completely artificial. In particular for vowels. I do not need do pronounce the German Üs or Ös when I'm having an informal talk, or respect the weird Japanese U. This is even worse for English words. People who pronounce "brainstorm" or "briefing" at work perfectly make me cringe hard.
Except for Italian. Every chance I get to pronounce an Italian name I will do it in the most Italian way possible because Italian is a funny sounding language.

[Anonymous No.18459651]

>>18455842
based

[Anonymous No.18459826]

>>18459408
This might be the most embarrassing story yet, even compared to the autist who sent his mom his fetish shit

[Anonymous No.18459842]

>>18455499
I failed to identify an Epictetus quote because it came from the Enchiridion when I mainly read the Discourses. Thought it was Plato. Most embarrassing

[Anonymous No.18459848]

>>18457541
nay-kee-leest

[Anonymous No.18459863]

>>18455499
I wrote some big cringe when I first got started. Still do sometimes. Shame I don't have my early notebooks or I'd post some for teh lulz

[Anonymous No.18459869]

>>18457541
Nee-hill-ist

[Anonymous No.18459936]

>>18455547
>carrying Erotism by Bataille around the bookshop while browsing other stuff
>cute clerk that I've seen before a few times comes to me, gives the book a perplexed look
>I ask her if they have the other books by Bataille of the same publisher
>she looks it up on their system and says "how weird, these are all under philosophy"
>"yeah"
>"oh, sorry, I thought it was something else"
Later we were browsing kind of a dump shelf full of old shitty editions of every kind of book trying to find interesting stuff and she kept asking me about random shit we came across like The Symposium, The Prince and Thus Spoke Zarathustra. I think she was trying to figure out what the fuck I was on about.

[Anonymous No.18460030]

>little sister finds copy of lolita
>shows it to parents
>explain to them its literary merit and cultural relevance
>explain the difference between 'hebephile' and 'pedophile'
>they can't understand my autistic incoherent rambling

[Anonymous No.18460042]

>>18457007
There IS a disturbing amount of overlap in aesthetics, isn't there?

[Anonymous No.18460088]

>>18458656
You deserve the shame, anon.

[Anonymous No.18460292]

Apart from pronoucning Goooter Go-e-thee there was only really the time I wrote light erotica for an English exam in year 8

[Anonymous No.18460325]

>>18459826
It's been 7 years and I still remember it. It's not all bad though, I said smart things in that class sometimes.

[Anonymous No.18460346]

>>18460030
>>explain the difference between 'hebephile' and 'pedophile'
here is where you went wrong.

[Anonymous No.18460552]

>>18455499
You made me lol.

I also have an uncle Ned. However, I have not made the same mistake, as I only read the manifesto last week, great work.

[Anonymous No.18460636]

>>18455842
>>18456230
Why would you ever go to a bar alone, don't you guys feel horribly embarrassed

[Anonymous No.18460697]

>>18459568
Yeah you’re retarded

[Anonymous No.18460706]

>>18455499
Once I read The Little Prince when I was having a manic-depressive episode. It wasn't funny, I had a fucked time.

[Anonymous No.18460715]

>>18455499
i was reading Gravity's Rainbow in community college and when slothrop had the vision going down the toilet i kept nervously looking over my shoulder to make sure no one knew i was reading about a guy identifying different kinds of poop but somehow it was racist

[Anonymous No.18460719]

>>18460030

[Anonymous No.18460760]

>>18460636
yes that's why im posting it in this cringe thread

[Anonymous No.18460807]

>go wirh mom to a german book shop
>mom wants to buy Winnetou
>scream so everyone in the shop can hear me, that she's a stupid bitch, because Karl May is a english author and I am going to read him in english not german
>at the same time I am holding Man without qualities i my hands
>mom buys Winnetou anyway
>come home
>at dinner I tell everyone how stupid my mother is for buying Winnetou in german
>my cousin starts laughing
>he tells me Karl May was german
>I don't believe him
>search Karl May on Wikipedia
>he is actually german
>feel extremely embarrassed because now the lady from the german bookstore knows I am a huge pseud
>I haven't gone to that bookstore since then and all the german books I read are bought online

[Anonymous No.18460925]

>first year of college
>history class in lecture hall
>qt3.14 usually sits next to me
>read before classes start
>decide to look like an avid reader
>literally bring a different book every class and be "reading" it while waiting for class to start
>all /lit/ recommended books i bought
>literally five different books a week
>run out of books after a few weeks because i don't want to bring in the books i ACTUALLY read, as they're not impressive or notable
>i'm a weeb who isn't a dekinai so i have plenty of japanese books
>start bringing in random japanese books and "read" them
>history class is two semesters long, but when the first semester ends, qt is in another of my classes
>romantic lit
>plenty of the books i was bringing in were the romantics
>class ends and qt approaches me
>weird small talk
>suddenly: "hey, this will sound super weird but you read lots right? we have history together and you're always reading. i hate reading, but i need this course, but i hate talking to professors. do you know this stuff? if i have questions, can i email or text you or something?"
>turns out she's insufferable
>dumb as a brick and can't tell a comma from a period
>texts me strings of words that are apparently sentences and questions but i can hardly parse them
>apparently in her late 20s with a kid
>ends up dropping the class anyway because she can't handle it
>never saw her again, probably dropped out
All my larping wasn't for naught though. The next year, in another lit class I started talking to a shy girl and when we started dating, she admitted she had only noticed me and started having a crush because I was always reading cool books in that history class. She was apparently in one of the rows in the back and I never saw her, but she saw me. she also browsed /lit/ and hadn't read the books i never told her i wasn't actually reading them, so she was impressed mission accomplished

[Anonymous No.18460947]

>>18455617
kek. underrated

[Anonymous No.18460978]

>>18455499
I only partially remember it but I went on a whiskey fueled rant about The Iliad, Evola, the Indo-Aryans, and Norse paganism during a christmas vacation in Mexico and burned a bridge between myself and my homosexual but religious cousin.

[Anonymous No.18461103]

I've acquired a stupid amount of books over the years and 90% of them I still haven't read to this day. Including:

>+40 misc. books from my grandma's house that she wast throwing out
>a copy of Beyond Good And Evil that I bought clueless about Nietzche's writing style
>8 Mishima novels I got 2nd hand through wallapop (I really couldn't let someone else get them before me)
>around 30 ebooks I downloaded in an impulse
>a Mein Kampf copy I got during a brief /pol/tard phase at 18
>a bunch of universal classics such as The Great Gatsby or The Foundation that I've been buying through he years
>I still think of buying more

Do I have a problem? I really wish I was a more disciplined reader. Deep in my heart I know I will never get through all of it.

[Anonymous No.18461183]

>>18461103
This is normal behavior. You should still try to read them. As a wise man once said, one can't read a book if it's not on their shelf.

[Anonymous No.18461207]

talking about what i've read recently when i'm coked up at a party

ffs

[Anonymous No.18461213]

>>18457536
based as fuck

[Anonymous No.18461373]

This one still haunts me to this day

>be me at 15
>huge high school sperg
>teacher wants us to write a review on the last book we read
>I write a really edgy, pretentious destructive critique about some shitty book I’d read years ago
>give it to teacher
>next day she wants us to read them to the class
>teacher asks for volunteers, to no avail
>she gets annoyed, but then looks at me
>”you Anon, your review was pretty good! Why don’t you read it to your classmates?”
>whole class looking at me
>”eeh, no I’d rathet not”
>teacher insists
>start getting nervous, sweaty and tomato-red
>the Stacy sitting on the desk before me turns back
>”want me to read it for you Anon?”
>takes the page before I even finish my answer
>Stacy starts reading my own review for me
>fails to understand my doctor-tier handwriting
>”okay, what the hell is this word supposed to be Anon?”
>interrupts the reading every two words like this
>I end up reading the whole shitty smartass review myself sweating, red as a fucking tomato and with a shaky voice to the class
>nobody has read/heard about the book in question
>they stare at me dead-silent for like ten seconds when I finish

I basically got humiliated by a roastie in front of the whole class

[Anonymous No.18461395]

>>18457007

[Anonymous No.18461422]

>middle school
>moved to new town a year before
>very introverted, have trouble making new friends. feel very angsty as a result
>final assignment for the poetry unit in english class
>assignment is to write a poem about how you don't fit certain stereotypes others might have about you
>decide to write about being a quiet kid and how that doesn't mean i deserve to be left out/made fun of
>teacher has a surprise the day it's due
>we're going to be reading them out loud to each other for the first time all unit
>GOD NO
>i'm one of the last ones to read
>literally everyone else wrote about how just because they're a first/second/only child doesn't mean they're x
>practically in tears by the time it's my turn
>beg teacher not to make me read it
>sorry anon, everyone else had to read theirs
>choke my way through it
>dead silence
>teacher looks at me for what felt like an hour and then moves on to next student without a word
>run to the bathroom to sob after class
>teacher sends home poem to my mom who makes fun of me for writing it
>my reputation as a weirdo is cemented well into high school

I still want to stick my head in the oven every time I think about it. Thankfully I learned how to be a normal person and form relationships in college

[Anonymous No.18461435]

the intensity with which and the number of people to whom i recommended infinite jest when i was younger and infatuated with it

[Anonymous No.18461445]

>>18461103
thank you for reminder me that i have a copy of mein kampf... somewhere... and i should probably find it before it turns up at an inopportune moment

[Anonymous No.18461456]

>>18461395
incredibly based

[Anonymous No.18461458]

>>18460030
>>explain the difference between 'hebephile' and 'pedophile'

[Anonymous No.18461465]

>>18461422
>teacher sends home poem to my mom
What the hell, why would someone do this?

[Anonymous No.18461480]

>>18461465
I think it's normal for schools to send home schoolwork that would indicate some potential mental health problems or something, especially for younger kids.

[Anonymous No.18461494]

>>18460030
Should've slapped your sister for touching your stuff.

[Anonymous No.18461518]

>>18461435
at least you aren't this guy

[Anonymous No.18461541]

>>18461518

[Anonymous No.18461548]

>>18461541

[Anonymous No.18461564]

>>18461518
no, but a) if such a simple comment was able to trigger a two year existential crisis then he was/is a brainlet and b) my shit was still pretty bad. talked to fucking everyone about it. read it 3 times. read it in public on the regs. recommended it left and right. sigh.

[Anonymous No.18461588]

>>18456256
In the many videos I've seen, they do pronounce the p in stepsister.

[Anonymous No.18461611]

>>18461588
>apsis
>copse
yeah this guy is full of shit

[Anonymous No.18461667]

>>18461548
My sides

[Anonymous No.18461691]

[Anonymous No.18461774]

>>18460807
I don't normally suggest suicide, but am tempted.

[Anonymous No.18461847]

>>18455547
yeah i feel you there. i read Justine in the bus and defs got a couple weird looks from the people sitting next to me trying to read a few lines

[Anonymous No.18461870]

>>18456256
-Psycholhy,chips,encapsulate, on the top of my head.

[Anonymous No.18461996]

>>18457579
>>18457541
>>18455683
There are multiple pronunciations, variation in the vowels, but yeah none include h. Nothing hugely wrong with it though, the main thing is communication and this does not obscure the word. H has simply been elided over time or was originally used in a timerange where h could not be used in that position in English. The spelling is directly from Latin. I'm sure it's a common enough mistake that it could be considered a variant if such things were descriptive rather than prescriptive. Many h have already been added based on spelling not pronunciation.

Btw what you did is called hypercorrection. Many many words in present-day English have been hypercorrected, totally changing pronunciation, since spelling was standardised in the 18th century and not based on current pronunciation at all but a mingling of standards and lots of personal variation, 're' Latinisation, and taking spellings from other languages (namely French). Lieutenant was, as conserved in British/Commonwealth militaries, primarily pronounced with an f in English which is shown in the older language as the older language was written how it was spoken and has a wide range of dialects and variation within them. This is seemingly how it was transmitted from French in the Middle Ages. The current spelling is simply taken from 18th century French spelling and so a mix of hypercorrection and additional transmission of the word from French changed its pronunciation in English.

[Anonymous No.18462015]

>>18461518
also

[Anonymous No.18462039]

>>18461183
Unless he knows of libgen, of course/

[Anonymous No.18462048]

>>18461996
Hmm, well I hadn't heard the word pronounced irl so I just pronounced it like I thought it read, is that really hypercorrection?

[Anonymous No.18462059]

>>18462015
>then SMACK! i had another copy of Infinite Jest in my backpack.

[Anonymous No.18462060]

>>18461611
>>18461588
>>18456256
stepsister is not a consonant cluster. it's totally different syllables. p and s are separate.

the same goes for apsis. copse is a consonant cluster, same syllable, but it's at the end of a syllable rather than at the start. different positions have different rules. pseud begins with it and that is not allowed in english.

[Anonymous No.18462103]

>>18458145
>>18459568
>>18460697
Dropping s doesn't mean you're pronouncing his name correctly lol. The vowels and sound system are different. It's unimportant to care about pronunciation outside of that language. Even people native-level in two languages will use two different pronunciations for names and such because it breaks the flow of speech to switch between sound systems just for certain words. More natural to use one or the other.

[Anonymous No.18462207]

>>18461422
Share the poem anon.

[I hate women No.18462250]

>>18461373
I hate foids

[Anonymous No.18462433]

>>18460925
THERE ARE GIRLS ON HERE?
WHAT THE FUCK???

[Anonymous No.18462473]

>>18461373
Based Stacy

[Anonymous No.18462541]

>>18455834
wasn't that the "dfw guy" greentext

[Anonymous No.18462548]

>>18460978
Elaborate further. Is it that you criticized Christianity?

[Anonymous No.18462561]

I used to read moby dick in class when I was 16 instead of the assigned reading titled something like "growing up gay and black" but I'm not embarrassed about it

[Anonymous No.18462597]

This was the most entertaining thread I've read during my short time here on lit.

[Anonymous No.18462697]

>>18462561
Yeah? What are you now, 17? Shut the fuck up man

[Anonymous No.18462737]

>>18462697
I will sodomise you if you continue to provoke me

[Anonymous No.18463236]

in junior high school, everyone needed a novel to take with them to class so you could read if you were finished working.
i had with me Lolita, mostly because i thought it was edgy and it was always in the top 10 of those "100 novels you must read" lists.
none of the teachers thought anything of it (not that i know of), but there was one who said to me, "are you reading that just out of interest, or...?"
goddammit, i just don't why i thought taking that book with me to class wouldn't be a silly idea.

[Anonymous No.18464008]

>>18462597
Don't get used to it

[Anonymous No.18464023]

>>18455547
bitch own that shit with your solar sexuality

[Anonymous No.18464072]

>>18459333
That's sweet anon, I won't judge you for that.

[Anonymous No.18464114]

>>18459333
>abloo bloo fictional characters WAHHHHH
fucking fag ahahaha

[Anonymous No.18464145]

>>18455842
>well, what are ya reading?
>words, words, words...

[Anonymous No.18464166]

>>18462060
you're a fucking retard and do not know anything about language, jesus christ

[Anonymous No.18464184]

>>18461103
Same. I own >2000 books, family library mostly, but a lot I bought myself. And I still continue to buy new ones, despite fully understanding that I won't live long enough to read all of them. Though the idea that there'll always be something I never read is also sort of interesting.