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/lit/ - Literature

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18440163 No.18440163 [Reply] [Original]

Write in your best prose what you will tell Jesus once you first meet him.

>> No.18440168

>>18440163
"Ooh you're giving me the heebie jeebies."

>> No.18440178

I apologise on behalf on OP for sucking so many cocks.

>> No.18440508

>>18440163
John 1:1
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

>> No.18440513

You are a cuck and so are your followers when you return I'll get a plastic surgery get my nose upto 17 inches and hang you again

>> No.18440523

>>18440163
"I love you"

>> No.18440799

Keep it real

>> No.18440987

>>18440163
I'm sorry I didn't live how you lived.

>> No.18440992

>>18440163
If they hadn't written the Bible so many more people would have been saved

>> No.18440996

>>18440163
Tell your dad thanks for giving us Van Morrison.

>> No.18441232
File: 34 KB, 353x417, 1521538816006.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18441232

>>18440163
"at last! only 1 enemy remains... 2 if you count god"
*unsheaths katana*

>> No.18441354

The finale of Tommy basically

>> No.18442544

>>18440163
I'm sorry. And I will do better

>> No.18442566

>>18440163
Sorry, so sorry..

>> No.18442673
File: 74 KB, 500x500, communistjesus.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18442673

>>18440163
So communism is based, right?

>> No.18442754

>>18442673
Religion is the opiate of the people

>> No.18442759

>>18442754
Yeah, and that's why it's based

>> No.18443192

>>18441232
*Holy spirit teleports behind you*

>> No.18443371

You could have handled this all far more efficiently and simply and less convoluted and obscure and you know it.

>> No.18443436

What's a prose? Also how do i read?

>> No.18443440

>>18440163
Do you have tickets for Pearl Jam?

>> No.18443444

>>18440163
Why didn't you leave any actual evidence if you expected people to believe in you? While those who believe in you harassed and attacked others, I was saving lives. But I get to roast forever because I have standards of empirical validation before I accept a claim? Fuck off, then, let me roast.

>> No.18443454
File: 25 KB, 354x354, burninghell.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18443454

>>18443444
>Why didn't you leave any actual evidence if you expected people to believe in you? While those who believe in you harassed and attacked others, I was saving lives. But I get to roast forever because I have standards of empirical validation before I accept a claim? Fuck off, then, let me roast.

>> No.18445236

>>18440163
Fuck kikes

>> No.18445253

>>18440163
jesus christ is an emanation of the boundless, it's like asking what are you gonna say when you meet gravity

>> No.18445278

>>18442754
You'll commies don't even smoke opium

>> No.18445492

>>18440163
"Why didn't you leave more overt hints or clues that you were the Way? My mind has a hard time processing this since I chose entirely different traditional paths based on my honest assessment."

>> No.18445502

>>18440163
I want a word with your dad.

>> No.18445529
File: 62 KB, 670x677, E3t7nE2XoAEsaRg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18445529

my God :)

>> No.18445561

>>18440163
kyrie eleison

>> No.18445612
File: 11 KB, 470x454, 1581617061695.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18445612

>>18445561
should we ask for mercy in heaven still?

>> No.18445619

>>18443444
read the brothers karamazov

>> No.18445925

>>18443454
Sorry bro, but to demand empirical evidence for that which precedes all experience is frankly retarded. You should engage in proper metaphysics before you dismiss God. Whether or not God exists is not an empirical question, but a question about the structure of reality itself.

>> No.18446018

>>18443444
>homeboy believes he knows better than God
Arrogancy is a sin, anon. One of the greatest sins.

>> No.18446085

>>18440163
I must be dreaming

*pinches self*

*jesus vanishes*

Of course that was the case. There was no, and never will be, a resurrection

>> No.18446101

"'Is it Thou? Thou?' 'Don't answer, be silent. What canst Thou say, indeed? I know too well what Thou wouldst say. And Thou hast no right to add anything to what Thou hadst said of old. Why, then, art Thou come to hinder us? For Thou hast come to hinder us, and Thou knowest that. But dost thou know what will be to-morrow? I know not who Thou art and care not to know whether it is Thou or only a semblance of Him, but to-morrow I shall condemn Thee and burn Thee at the stake as the worst of heretics. And the very people who have to-day kissed Thy feet, to-morrow at the faintest sign from me will rush to heap up the embers of Thy fire. Knowest Thou that? Yes, maybe Thou knowest it,'

There is no need for Thee to come now at all. Thou must not meddle for the time, at least. Hast Thou the right to reveal to us one of the mysteries of that world from which Thou hast come? No, Thou hast not; that Thou mayest not add to what has been said of old, and mayest not take from men the freedom which Thou didst exalt when Thou wast on earth. Whatsoever Thou revealest anew will encroach on men's freedom of faith; for it will be manifest as a miracle, and the freedom of their faith was dearer to Thee than anything in those days fifteen hundred years ago. Didst Thou not often say then, "I will make you free"? But now Thou hast seen these "free" men, Yes, we've paid dearly for it, but at last we have completed that work in Thy name. For fifteen centuries we have been wrestling with Thy freedom, but now it is ended and over for good. Dost Thou not believe that it's over for good? Thou lookest meekly at me and deignest not even to be wroth with me. But let me tell Thee that now, to-day, people are more persuaded than ever that they have perfect freedom, yet they have brought their freedom to us and laid it humbly at our feet. But that has been our doing. Was this what Thou didst? Was this Thy freedom?

For now for the first time it has become possible to think of the happiness of men. Man was created a rebel; and how can rebels be happy? Thou wast warned. Thou hast had no lack of admonitions and warnings, but Thou didst not listen to those warnings; Thou didst reject the only way by which men might be made happy. But, fortunately, departing Thou didst hand on the work to us. Thou hast promised, Thou hast established by Thy word, Thou hast given to us the right to bind and to unbind, and now, of course, Thou canst not think of taking it away. Why, then, hast Thou come to hinder us?'"

>> No.18446118

>>18440163
"Where's Hitler?"

>> No.18446138

I'd probably just cry honestly

>> No.18446995

Hi Titus

>> No.18448070

bump.

>> No.18448094

I cross to the other side of the road.

>> No.18448139

>>18440163
I honestly didn't think you were real. I am not worthy of your forgiveness, nor do I deserve it. I can only apologise wholeheartedly and accept you and your Father's judgement. I'm sorry lord.

>> No.18448190

Hey bud! Yeah the eternal paradise thing is great, thanks for asking. Just one quick question, maybe I missed something. I’ve been here for awhile now, and this morning I did a quick jog around Hell to see how the other half lives… I couldn’t help but notice there aren’t any Asians, here or there. What’s up with that?

>> No.18449138

>>18440163
"Cringe"

>> No.18449155

"Hey man, what's up? Sooo.... can I like, swear here? Is that allowed? What if I call someone a nigger but, like, as a joke? Can I put in a request for a bigger dick?"

>> No.18449178

>>18440163
Thank you!

>> No.18449211

Makes me think of The Grand Inquisitor poem

>> No.18449244

I'd like to know why God permitted mankind to indulge in idolatry of him when he was clearly a prophet chastising the Jews to follow the Law

>> No.18449252

>>18446101
Baste Dostoevsky Grand Inquisitor poster. One of the most profound passages ever committed to paper.

>> No.18449254

>>18440163
Hello, Jesus. Nice to know you exist. Sorry for not believing in you, how can I make up for that?

>> No.18449255
File: 168 KB, 112x112, 1623166585136.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18449255

I'm so sorry.

>> No.18449259

>>18449255
There there, buddy. There there.

>> No.18449289
File: 459 KB, 1510x1066, hi jesus.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18449289

>>18440163
Pic related.

>> No.18449315

>>18449255
You should be sorry. Dumbass.

>> No.18449336

>>18440163
>Write in your best prose what you will tell Jesus once you first meet him.
Yudhisthira's reply to God, "I choose hell."

>> No.18449470

>>18440163
Do you find it riseable when I say the name Biggus Dickus?

>> No.18450153

>>18440163

You HAVE overcome the world!

>> No.18450186

>>18440163
oh