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/lit/ - Literature

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[SPOILER] No.1838684[SPOILER]  [Reply] [Original]

If you don't have any same-sex sexual proclivities then you don't know SHIT about writing

>> No.1838690

If you don't shit all over the place and hurl empty scotch bottles at passerby, you don't know SHIT about writing.

>> No.1838693

If you haven't studied comparative literature at Yale University after matriculating from some small boarding school in rural Massachusetts, then you don't know SHIT about writing.

>> No.1838699

If you have never lived like a gypsy, hired Mexican 12 year old prostitutes for next to nothing, ingest large quantities of alcohol and illegal drugs, and mooch off well-to-do siblings, you don't know SHIT about writing.

>> No.1838703

>>1838684
>>1838690
>>1838693
>>1838699
somewhere out there is someone that has done all of this

>> No.1838705

If you weren't born the last of 15 children in a destitute house and worked your way into higher education by mucking horse stalls by day and mining coal by night, you don't know SHIT about writing.

>> No.1838709

>>1838703
That's not even unlikely (except maybe the 12yo pros)

>> No.1838710

Who resurrected Andre Gide and gave him internet access?

>> No.1838711

If you have never squandered your minor nobility, became a national icon through your written works, then daddled off the end of your days trying to start a asinine cult, then you don't know shit about writing

>> No.1838712

>>1838709
12-year old pros for 12 years of prose, amirite?

>> No.1838714

If you were never molested as a child, you don't know SHIT about writing

>> No.1838715

If you've never had tuberculosis then you don't know SHIT about writing

>> No.1838717

>>1838711

Yukio Mishima?

>> No.1838718
File: 178 KB, 640x480, scared-to-death.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1838718

If you never figured out why your computer turned itself on in the middle of the night, then you don't know shit about writing.

>> No.1838723

OH HAI THERE, except I went to Cambridge, not Yale, cos I is all Britfag and that innit. But i am a gypsy, a proper one. My mum lived in a caravan. And I have used tremendous amounts of drugs and I once threw shit at this dude in Glasgow, and he'd just puked into a urinal so he threw that back at me then we had a fight.

>> No.1838730

>>1838723
Go to bed you fuckin gypo.

>> No.1838734

If you haven't went into caffeine-induced coma, you don't know SHIT about writing.

>> No.1838751

>>1838734

>agreed

>or taken a math class just to stare at the teacher who acts and looks just like the main char in your book.

>> No.1838754

If you don't wipe your ass exclusively with pictures of James Joyce, you don't know SHIT about dirty letters.

>> No.1838760

If you've never escaped from a revolution in your country and overcome racism and prejudice in America, you don't know SHIT about writing

>> No.1838774

How bout we make this into a game? We vaguely write major happenings in an authors life, and we try to guess which author we are talking about.

I've done this already:

>>1838699
Jack Kerouac
>>1838711
Tolstoy
>>1838760
Yakov Smirnoff

>> No.1838773

>>1838730

I will, and I'll wrap myself in my double first to keep me warm while I imagine your sweet, salty tears.

>> No.1838777
File: 71 KB, 533x594, lolwut.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1838777

>> No.1838779

>>1838774
>>1838760

I was just making a generic story for what a lot of immigrant writers have in common

>> No.1838780

>>1838774

In Soviet Union, revolution escapes from you.

>> No.1838781

>>1838779
Yes, and I was making a rather good joke. Are you German?

>> No.1838784

>>1838781

Was that a joke? I didn't notice.

>> No.1838786

>>1838781

You don't have to be German to fail to see sarcasm on the Internet

>> No.1838787

If you never married, divorced, then remarried a tormented bisexual who you publicly described him as "queer as a billy goat," you don't know SHIT about writing

>> No.1838789

>>1838781
Trust me, we saw where you thought you wrote a punch line.

>> No.1838794
File: 8 KB, 225x225, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1838794

>>1838787
Tom cruise?

>> No.1838807

If you don't get into a marriage with a bisexual, let him publish your work under his own name, then get divorced, have numerous lesbian affairs with scandalous women before marrying again and having an affair with your stepson, then you don't know SHIT about writing

>> No.1838828

>>1838807
....

>> No.1838832

>>1838807
>have numerous lesbian affairs
>you don't know SHIT about writing

obviously not, you're a woman

>> No.1838838

>>1838807
sounds like a fun gal

>> No.1838840
File: 55 KB, 550x502, Colette.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1838840

>>1838832

Fuck you, you'd do her.

>>1838838

No love for Colette on this board? Shocking.

>> No.1838843

>>1838684
This applies 100% to poetry.

Find me a straight poet and I'll find you a superior gay/bi poet. Except maybe Dante. Fuck. Nevermind, maybe...

>> No.1838864

>>1838840
i meant it in earnest! i'm totally ignorant of her work, existence, etc. though

>> No.1838866

>>1838690
Classic Alice Munro!

>> No.1838869
File: 14 KB, 300x408, colette2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1838869

>>1838864

French, wrote semi-pornographic series of novels called Claudine, really dirty, very doable. That's about it really. She's really good - you should read her stuff.

>> No.1838956
File: 10 KB, 185x279, 13921075..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1838956

>>1838794
dorothy parker