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/lit/ - Literature

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1833260 No.1833260 [Reply] [Original]

Hello Lit, let me tell you what I do as hobby.

You see, Facebook is littered with ripe material. If you want to improve yourself as a writer - or you just like being a smartass - then I have the adventure for you.

What I like to do is make a literary review of Facebook statuses. What this means is that I take statuses, and I review the as if they were literary masterpieces. Each sentence, lexicon, punctuation, anything that a professional master of writing would use to develop their piece, it's up for grabs here.

Now why do this? Because it pisses people off. A lot. The idea is that you're praising them for being stupid as shit. That causal attention whore, give it to her in the greatest of senses. Respect her as the pinnacle person of a generation. That bad grammar or spelling? It was deliberate! Make them know their own genius they might not have known.

It's fun to do this stuff, at least, I think it is. And continue as long as you can. If they're retarded enough to actually believe you, proceed. It can only increase the excitement and the humour.

Example in the OP.

>> No.1833267

lol, and people tell me i waste time on /lit/

>> No.1833272

That's extremely pretentious and pedant.
Don't wanna sound like an asshole. Thanks, anyway.

>> No.1833277

>>1833272
That's not necessarily a bad thing.

>> No.1833279

>>1833267
Yeah, but at least this is kind of entertaining.

>> No.1833280

That sounds incredibly boring.

>> No.1833282

Madness lies that way OP. That would be very unwise.

>> No.1833287

I laughed at the idea, but the example provided reads like an 8th grade essay.

>> No.1833291

I am not saying it's the best written thing ever, it's just you have to give the status an idea of grandeur.

>> No.1833292

I mean we're not striving for a fucking dissertation over one sentence.

>> No.1833293

You're performing your intellect in front of a group of people who don't give a fuck.

I think you should spend more time reading, exercising, and getting a girlfriend.

>> No.1833296

It's a hobby. Like, if I am doing nothing exciting, I just type it up real quick without any editing or correcting, just being as big an asshole as possible to people who make inane statuses.

And I already have a girlfriend.

>> No.1833308

>>1833287
This.

Also, Martin Amis disapproves, OP.

>Enjoying being insulting is a youthful corruption of power. You lose your taste for it when you realize how hard people try, how much they mind, and how long they remember (Angus Wilson and William Burroughs nursed my animadversions - and no doubt the animadversions of others - to the grave).

It was a point about serious lit-crit, but as a broader point about being a good human it's just as true.

And look, I'm not immune to this- like some delirious bastard politician I continued on from there with some quite insulting stuff about you. But I thought better of it, and not just to not look like a double ass, and edited my post.

>> No.1833320

Haha congrats OP, you're a bigger prick than Martin Amis. I think you might be legally required to drop out of life and join a Buddhist monastery now

>> No.1833327

I guess I should rethink my life a little. Well, you guys helped me develop as a person a little today, thank you for that. I feel like a cock now.

>> No.1833335

>>1833327
ha aw

I always feel a little weird when someone seems to learn a tiny lesson or mature a little bit as a result of a 4chan shitstorm. I can't hold a grudge against someone who doesn't have a defensive wounded animal internet meltdown in a thread like this

>> No.1833339
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1833339

>>1833327
no dont listen to their slave morality!

>> No.1833354

I mean, I've posted writings on /lit/ before - and had them thoroughly trashed - but I never thought about how I felt then (truly awful) and that I was doing the same to other people as I did myself due to my concern with my own creative work. I just feel, I dunno, empty now.

>> No.1833358

>>1833354
Ayo, tha keyboard assassin here, you can fill that empty hole in you with liquor, if you'd like.

>> No.1833375

>>1833260
sounds fun...but I take it you have lots of strangers added in your friend list...I don't wanna disturb my school's bullies O_O

>> No.1833381
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1833381

>>1833354
buck up op

~i guess that this is growing up~

>> No.1833384

>>1833375
No, these are all people I know. This particular person was one of my close friends girlfriends.

>> No.1833387

>>1833384
that's weird. cos 'awesome' isnt even one of the lame 'im so full of myself' posts is it? ive seen so many worse screencaps on here and yet you churn out a few paragraphs for 'awesome'. thats kind of lame.

>> No.1833399

>>1833387
A little background info real quick:

She is one of those "Oh god I am so sad look at me" people.
This is a common thing. There's probably hundreds of post similar to this on her wall because she reads someone elses wall, and makes random interjections about them. It's like she has to have attention on her for the smallest of things.
I've heard many things that make her 'life horrible' but they're common complications, which is just sad for a 17 year old girl to be doing this. I expected as much from a 13 year old one, but not her.

Before I quit doing this forever - something you guys just saw me do, due to the consequences of myself and others - the longest one I did was a five page paper in 11 font, times new Roman, over a sentence she wrote complain about graduation statuses. I never posted that one though.

>> No.1833402

>>1833399
asl

>> No.1833405

>>>1833402

Ha, no.

>> No.1833408

>>1833308

dat quote

>> No.1833424

>>1833399
>She is one of those "Oh god I am so sad look at me" people.
There are a lot of them OP. They're pitiful, but not because of their attention-seeking personalities. It's as if they know their lives are utterly meaningless, but still they try to pretend as if every part of it is meaningful by inflating the importance of everything. That's what humanizes her, I think.

>>1833339
Thanks Nietzsche.

>> No.1833442

>>1833292
>>1833291
You can downplay all you like, but the fact is you are doing this to "show off" how clever you think you are, but you just sound dumb. Do you not grasp the irony?

Had what you presented been *funny* then far fewer people would care about how juvenile the act actually is. Funny gets a pass.

>> No.1833453

>>1833442
I know this, I had this casual, misanthropic realization already: I am a bad person, I feel deplorable and I feel that I have grown some from this whole thing. But thanks for making me worse in the process!

>> No.1833454

>>1833399
you are much much more pathetic than she is

You sit down and write five pages because she likes to complain on facebook? Just block her man.

>> No.1833475

>You're pain, you're 'awesome' pain.

She's pain? What the hell are you saying?

>> No.1833481

Jesus, OP, you are just a total fucking cunt. I've no doubt you think you're just so hilarious, but you're fucking filth.

>> No.1833492
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1833492

Hey, guys? OP's learned his lesson. The hell are you berating him for?

>mfw OP gets it and everyone else is missing the point