what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.18294457]

[Anonymous No.18294466]

i haven’t slept for two days and i have to work in 2 hours (10 am) and will be working without break until 11 pm at a place i hate with co workers i hate and customers i hate

someone convince me to just quit and not go

[Anonymous No.18294467]

swag

[Anonymous No.18294470]

ill never be enough

[Anonymous No.18294473]

>>18294466
u cRaZy man

[Anonymous No.18294487]

a warning to the americans

[Anonymous No.18294501]

i have received the call... and it was good

[Anonymous No.18294512]

I know, i should keep my mouth shut with others but i cant see to do it.

[Anonymous No.18294518]

>>18294512
me too i have strong craving for social interaction with real people but i never get anything out of it

[Anonymous No.18294535]

>>18294518
you have to observe people, then detect the ones that are worth talking to

[Anonymous No.18294538]

>>18294512
I have the opposite problem. I usually don't have anything to say. So I keep quiet.

[Anonymous No.18294590]

>>18294457
white women are way more racist than white men. there's way more white guys with POC gfs than white women with POC bfs. man's natural horniness makes them impossible to be racist, it inevitably breaks down the barrier. Women are naturally inclined to be racist, however. I don't blame them though.

[Anonymous No.18294596]

>>18294590
Here is a little conflict you can expect to see become public in the future. It isn't uncommon at all for escorts to refuse service to certain races, and to even explicitly state it in their promotional material. The most common being 'no Indians' and no 'black/dark/African'.
The justification being that men of these backgrounds are supposedly often disrespectful, and turn violent if certain services are denied to them.

So yeah, a neat little tension within the progressive narrative that has yet to be addressed, but sure to become a major drama at some point.

[Anonymous No.18294600]

I hate Twitter

[Anonymous No.18294610]

>>18294457
I think that my kidney is damaged

[Anonymous No.18294619]

>>18294600
Retarded got baited. But yeah, I hate it too.

[Anonymous No.18294624]

>>18294535
the ones that are worth talking to don’t think the same about me

[Anonymous No.18294631]

>>18294457
Emo Rock Frog Playlist 002

https://soundcloud.com/user-696366464/frog-emo-playlist-002

[Anonymous No.18294632]

Can anyone ever truly care about something for its own sake? Can you commit yourself to something regardless of the results? It seems the only reason we do anything is for its result? Can one be moral for moralities own sake? Truthful for truths sake? Heroic for heroism sake?

[Anonymous No.18294634]

>>18294632
Yes, read Codreanu

[Anonymous No.18294658]

>>18294457
What's with all the UFO shit lately. Discussion of the phenomena is cropping up in normie circles now which is concerning and wondering what the fuck is behind it all has distracted me from reading. Any books that deal with this kind of unknown entity?

[Anonymous No.18294665]

>>18294634
Googling him now, can you summarize quickly what Codreanu's idea? thank you

[Anonymous No.18294695]

the moral of the story

https://soundcloud.com/zaychiles/chief-keef-the-moral

[Anonymous No.18294838]

>>18294658
Yeah, it's funny, isn't it, how it was always a topic for the kooks, but now all of a sudden governments seem eager to talk about it? All kinds of conspiracy theories spring to mind

[Anonymous No.18294897]

I've let myself drift away from everything and I can no longer even see a shoreline anymore.
The few that were around me are now long gone. I barely recognize the reflection in the mirror.
I don't know where I'm floating but I only see water in every direction, stretching into the horizon.

[Anonymous No.18294914]

>>18294897
I have used the exact same metaphor of going over the horizon and losing sight of the land before. God damn.

I am forgetting how to just be a person.

[Anonymous No.18294921]

>>18294914
What are we to do?

[Anonymous No.18294923]

>>18294897
>I barely recognize the reflection in the mirror.

[Anonymous No.18294940]

>>18294921
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8ju_10NkGY

[Anonymous No.18294943]

>>18294923
I formed deep relationships with inanimate objects in my dwelling

[Anonymous No.18294955]

>>18294457
There's this girl I'm in to. We're both go to the same HS and we're in the same grade. We've known each other and been friends since Freshman year and after not seeing each other for a while because of COVID we're both back in school.

Long story short sometimes I cut certain classes to spend time with her during her lunch (we both go to one of our former teacher's classroom to hangout) but the year is almost over and I'm afraid we'll just go back to being sort of distant friends as there just isn't enough time to cultivate the friendship in this way which is slow work. It's slow work no matter what.

Only about 7-9 of these instances where we hangout together left in the year and I don't know what to do. I'm worried that it would be weird or taken the wrong way if on one of the final days I float hanging out during the summer. But I feel if that doesn't happen we'll just revert to the same state of affairs as before and hope some of the cultivation I've done survives over the summer.
Two questions:

Any lit for this feel

Any advice from litbros

[Anonymous No.18294967]

>>18294538
I have this problem too and I think it adversely affects the development of my relationships with those who would be my "friends"

any advice

[Anonymous No.18294970]

>>18294955
play every card you think can. Get the girl.
Trust me, you don't want to think back with regret when you become a miserable lonely adult

[Anonymous No.18294980]

>>18294457
Paypal me lil bitch cause I need all my shit
Paypal me lil bitch cause im tryna stack my shit
Paypal me lil bitch cause im tryna get rich shit
Paypal me lil bitch cause I need all my shit
Paypal me lil bitch
Paypal me lil bitch
Paypal me lil bitch
Paypal me lil bitch
Paypal me lil bitch


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL4Pkd0viHs

EVERYONE STAY POSTIVE! I WON'T SAY IT AGAIN!

[Anonymous No.18294987]

>>18294967
I think, in order to speak to others at non superficial levels takes some confidence in the other being able to understand and connect to what you're saying. I stay silent with most people because I do not expect them to understand what I will have to say. True friends and companions are those we are not afraid to talk to, and those are hard to come by.

[Anonymous No.18295007]

Paypal me lil bitch
Paypal me lil bitch
Paypal me lil bitch
Paypal me lil bitch
Paypal me lil bitch

[Anonymous No.18295009]

>>18294695
>My dick feel like, "fuck it, do not today"
what did he mean by this?

[Anonymous No.18295014]

>>18294466
do whatever the fuck you want anon
>>18294470
enough for what
>>18294501
good job anon
>>18294512
why should you
>>18294590
your retarded
>>18294600
why look at stupid bullshit when you can look at anything else
>>18294955
>HS
>grade
>underage
>>18294967
get drunk

Today I'm going to clean my house and stay in the AC and drink beer and eat hotdogs. AMA

[Anonymous No.18295034]

>>18294980
>>18295007

[Anonymous No.18295039]

>>18295014
we're both 18 and seniors sorta adds to the finality of it all

[Anonymous No.18295045]

>>18295014
Why hotdogs and not hamburgers anon?

[Anonymous No.18295047]

>>18294955
Are you just wanting to hang out with her over break, or do you actually want to ask her out romantically?

[Anonymous No.18295054]

>>18295047
Both desu. In my mind one would lead to the other either way.

[Anonymous No.18295066]

>>18295045
This is a good question.
>>18295039
Ask her out. Hey do you want to go out sometime. If not then get over it quickly.

[Anonymous No.18295075]

I JUST WANT TO WRITE IT DOWN BUT ITS TRASH

[Anonymous No.18295081]

>>18295075
surely, it's not more trash than what I am replying to

[Anonymous No.18295092]

>>18295081
desu desu desu desu desu desu desu

[Anonymous No.18295095]

>>18295066
Rejection is tough and everything would be awkward if it does end like that.

[Anonymous No.18295100]

>>18295075
If you haven't written it down how could you know its trash?

[Anonymous No.18295110]

>>18295095
Suffering from a Crisis of Confidence anon. Chicks don't dig guys who aren't confident in what they set out to do

[Anonymous No.18295123]

>>18295095
You can still be friends if she says no. If you don't want to be friends in that case then you're wasting both of your time. It's better to still be friends with the girl that said no because then her friends will know that you're not shitty, and so on. Don't think so much boyo :-) It'll work out

[Anonymous No.18295134]

>>18295095
For all you know she's waiting for you to ask

[Anonymous No.18295137]

>>18295054
>In my mind one would lead to the other either way.

Okay.

I was a in a similar situation in high school. I like a girl, and spent a year basically just being friends. I hated every minute of it, it was like a kind of hell, I actually felt like I was burning a lot of the time.
I asked her out eventually, but the ship had sailed. It pretty much broke my heart, but I didn't feel like I was burning anymore, despite being sad I also felt a kind of relief that this tension I had been holding in for so long was over.
I don't know if you feel that way, but if you only feel half that passion you should just go ahead and ask her. You need to learn to Win and to Lose. Doing nothing is what slowly kills, and High School is a good time to learn how to handle both the responsibilities that come with courtship, and the devastation of rejection.

There is a kind of coldness in the adult world that you are probably not aware of yet. I wasn't until I graduated, and that was a solid decade ago. As much as I hated High School, and as crude and as harsh as it could be, it never had the underlying calculating coldness that frames so much of the courtship rituals of the adult world.

There is a certain naïve joy in young love that is worth fighting for, it can just be what it is and not worry about the other concerns. You owe it to your soul to try.

[Anonymous No.18295151]

>>18294457

How can I live in the world as it is? I am from the uk and despite living a nice life, modernity is a weight I just can’t bear. I hate the roads and the cars and the high streets and the way people dress and speak and act in public. I love many things, but it feels like they are all going away this century. I feel that society’s values are not mine, and am not a Democrat. Sometimes I am authoritarian. More than anything, I want things to change and no longer have to endure how ugly things are. Does anybody else feel this way?

[Anonymous No.18295167]

>>18295095
>Rejection is tough
Bullshit, regret is tough. Rejection is nothing.

[Anonymous No.18295176]

>>18295151
Move out to the countryside. Build your own world and accept into only those that are compatible

[Anonymous No.18295178]

>>18295151
1.) Fail at art school and find an easy scapegoat.
2.) Get into politics.
3.) Sudoku in a bunker after your empire falls.

[Anonymous No.18295199]

>>18294665
They had death squads. Meaning they didn't care if they died or stayed alive, they just wanted to do the right thing.

[Anonymous No.18295252]

I want to drink a big refreshing McFarland beer and eat junk food but i can't because im on a cut and on steroids

[Anonymous No.18295340]

>>18295176

I dream about it, I just need the money.

[Anonymous No.18295412]

>>18295340
I've dreamed about it when I was younger too. Now I am striving to make it a reality. Getting close

[Anonymous No.18295422]

>>18294923
The Shadow by HC Andersen is a good version of this.

[Anonymous No.18295532]

>>18294600
>Jew caught being hypocritical

Oh wow, that’s a new one. Why even bother to give Twitter the time of day, it’s a fucking cesspool and worse than 4chan(nel)

[Anonymous No.18295618]

I care too much and too little at the same time.

[Anonymous No.18295673]

>>18294457
I was staring the beauty of golden street lights and car lights reflections on the asphalt road and reading the poems of Farnando Pessoa in my mind. A couple sarcastically started staring and laughing at me like I am some alien for staring and appreciating the beauty of roads after rain.

Why can't they leave people alone who are just being themselves?

Feelsbadman.

[Anonymous No.18295766]

I sometimes really hate a lot of humans. I mean absolutely detest them to my core. But today was one of the rare days were I did not feel that way.

[Anonymous No.18295881]

>>18295123
Thanks anon you're right.

[Anonymous No.18295885]

I met a girl. She shared her writing with me. I told her I sometimes think about writing. She asked me to write something. I wrote. It was about death. She liked it. I can't decide if I want to post it or not.

[Anonymous No.18295927]

I know I don't want to die but I find myself wanting to kill myself more and more and it scares me.

[Anonymous No.18295962]

My constant writing on my laptop got my boss interested in literature and he read a book called 'Ready Player One' and was so excited to tell me about it.
I'm so proud of him.

[Anonymous No.18296049]

The old thread is still only on Page 8 all these hours later. Why in fuck do you have to make a new one so early for no reason

[Anonymous No.18296072]

>>18294457

[Anonymous No.18296098]

>>18294457
THIS IS MY KINGDOM CUM

[Anonymous No.18296109]

>>18295766
does "a lot of humans" include you too?

[Anonymous No.18296169]

I hate niggers. This mindless, worthless race steals others' history and culture because their own legacy is one of slavery and inferiority. They should be exterminated.

[Anonymous No.18296170]

I believe millennials will revive philosophy. Not this Zizek garbage, actually good solid philosophy. Maybe not another Kantian revolution, but the current system is so weak it will get demolished by younger elites who've seen them fail horribly at everything. There are millennials everywhere reading classics and going through the entire Western philosophy canon while staying quiet because of the bullshit we're in. People are fuelled by anger and hatred of what the retarded boomers have done to the world. No one cares to share their shit on Twitter or with universities or anything because it's all compromised.

[Anonymous No.18296184]

>>18296049
stfu, be positive stay negative

[Anonymous No.18296195]

>>18296169
>I hate niggers

du kleiner hurensohn, ich ficke dein ganzes leben, arschgeburt

pass auf, wenn du raus gehst kleine arschgeburt, wem du in die augen guckst

[Anonymous No.18296212]

>>18296195
Oh look, a German fuck who loves niggers. Hitler was right about something - if he lost the war, the German race would be destroyed. There are no German men left, just domesticated femboys with all the aggression bred out of them.

[Anonymous No.18296294]

>>18296195
I never really got to jump to the rescue of blacks. I work in a majority black area and they think it's funny when I call specific ones affirmative action hires.
Like one of my supervisors is a sweet old black lady but she can't write an email and missspells her name so I have to do it for her.
They know they're dumb. They just want to fit in. They do not need people getting offended on their behalf.

[Anonymous No.18296311]

>>18296195
I never really got the whole jump to the rescue of blacks thing. I work in a majority black area and they think it's funny when I call specific ones affirmative action hires.
Like one of my supervisors is a sweet old black lady but she can't write an email and misspells her name so I have to do it for her.
They know they're dumb. They just want to fit in. They do not need people getting offended on their behalf.

[Anonymous No.18296516]

still not over it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqCh3OkTRDY

[Anonymous No.18296551]

Haven't been any other emotion but depressed and angry for months except when drinking

[Anonymous No.18296571]

>>18296551
>tfw not even drinking helps

[Anonymous No.18296579]

Last night I had a dream.

[Anonymous No.18296587]

Last night I ha d a d ream.

[Anonymous No.18296592]

>>18296571
It.....It's gonna get better right?

[Anonymous No.18296601]

>>18296109
The more strongly the source of my hatred is related to inevitable human condition, the more strongly I repulse of myself as well.

[Anonymous No.18296606]

>>18294457
Got shat on hard by my mind the other night. Smoked cannabis again at a party against my good judgement, and had a psychotic episode in which the world and all its contents seemed fake, futile, and continually believed that I was the only one who was conscious. Every topic of conversation around me seemed vapid (from the mouths of apes) except the rapidfire progression of my own negative thoughts. This was despite the fact that in the past week I have come to terms with myself and all others being unreal (insofar as we are embodied selves accessing a limited, partial view of reality).

But it seems that as much as I try to acknowledge that the self, or first person experience of reality, is just an immersive state produced by the brain, I can't escape the visceral feeling of being the main character. It has helped to be aware that this is the default state of every observed living thing and I've probably just not challenged my default settings enough to rewire my mind, and my ego is reeling and desperate to hold on. I think my goal for now will be to try to reach out to others more, try to accept them as walking chunks of a reality I will never access, sharing in my self's pains and joys and imagine life from another perspective to quieten my ego.

It could be my deeply ingrained negative mindset talking, but I don't see the world as good place. No matter how positive I try to be, there is the persistent knowledge that something conscious is always suffering, but again, I am a limited creature and all psychological pain is caused by the illusion of self. I don't think suffering will ever end until we've found a way to merge all consciousnesses through connective technology, of which the internet will be seen as a primitive predecessor, or we create a strong AI that will either annihilate us on the spot or turn our lives into vapid, pleasure-seeking entertainment. Till then the self-sustaining cycle of desire and suffering will perpetuate.

[Anonymous No.18296612]

>>18296592
Maybe for you. Not for me.

[Anonymous No.18296630]

>>18296612
What's wrong with you then?

[Anonymous No.18296723]

>>18294457
I quit my shitty job out of nowhere. Just sort of snapped I guess. I've always wanted to go to Montana, to get myself lost, and truly be in nature. I'm from Southern New England, and I fucking hate it. I'm nervous as hell about going out there, I don't know why. I'm not sure what I'm going to do to when I get to Montana. Probably gamble, hike, swim in the lakes. After that I don't know. I have a lease back home, bills, my friends think I've lost my shit, maybe I have. Maybe I'll never come back, maybe I'll find some quiet place in the woods and kill myself. Maybe I'll rob drunks as they come out of casinos, stick-up truck-drivers, or start murdering truck-stop hookers. We'll see.

[Anonymous No.18296891]

>>18296630
I have given up. Theres no saving grace or miracle. The world is indifferent to my life.

[Anonymous No.18296980]

>>18296259
what's pathetic about acknowledging a quality poster? I can't see how that qualifies as simping. I think you're confused

[Anonymous No.18296987]

>>18296891
the world is indifferent, period

[Anonymous No.18297049]

Post b& test

[Anonymous No.18297068]

>>18297049
https://www.4chan.org/banned
I'm on my phone a lot traveling or at work. You can verify there without needing to post.
Pretty hand tool.

[Anonymous No.18297113]

Could someone tell me what they think about my writing? This is part of my novel, it's written in French:

Alina s'était révoltée de voir ces hommes affamés et grelottants.
C'était très certainement la dernière bonne femme de cette ville, peut-être même du monde.
Cette nuit de novembre, elle s'était glissée dans les cuisines de la boulangerie.
Elle avait attendu la fermeture, cachée dans la remise.
Et lorsqu'enfin la boutique fût fermée pour la nuit, la jeune fille se mit en action.
Elle jettait farine et levure dans les pétrins, elle courait à droite et puis à gauche.
Dans une hystérie totale, elle pétrissait jusqu'à ce que ses muscles eux mêmes ne puissent plus assurer leur office.
Elle enfournait, elle minutait, une cuisine de 8 salariés tournait à plein fourneaux, Alina filait et défilait, comme possédée.
Coupe le pain, mets le beurre, le jambon, referme.
Coupe le pain, mets le beurre, le jambon, referme.
Coupe le pain, mets le beurre, le jambon, referme.
Après quelques heures ses mains frêles saignaient de toutes parts.
Ses doigts epuisés s'enfoncaient dans la chair du pain et lui donnaient vie.
Des centaines de baguettes rougissait d'être employées à un tel dessein.
Alina, dont les forces étaient décuplées par la passion, transportait des sacs pesant quatre fois son poids.
Elle ouvrait la porte de l'intérieur, puis s'eclipsait dans la nuit.
Elle déversait tout sur la place, puis partait sans le moindre bruit.
Les croquants, qui ne dorment jamais vraiment, se reveillaient et fondaient sur l'offrande.
Mais à peine avaient ils fini de se battre qu'une autre ration arrivait sans attendre.
La jeune fille aux yeux pétillants portait une simple robe, sa peau luisait à la lueur de la lune, ses cheveux noirs, sombres comme un cilice, suivaient son passage.
Il n'y avait, ce soir là, aucune femme sur terre pour égaler sa beauté.
Et personne ne savait qui elle était, ni pourquoi elle venait et partait si vite.
à 5 heures, après plus de 10 heures de travail, elle revint du dernier voyage, et s'ecroula tout simplement sur le sol de la cuisine.
Les yeux grands ouverts, elle esquissait un petit sourire satisfait, une expression bien choisie qui ne manquerait pas, plus tard, d'enrager le boulanger.
Les levres sèches, Alina prit une légère inspiration, semblable à toutes les autres.
Et tout doucement, elle se sépara de son corps usé.
Alina aux yeux d'amandes, ne regarde pas le ciel, mais observe les hommes.
Car c'est ici bas que tes croquants partagent ta moue et respirent pour toi.

[Anonymous No.18297115]

After going through watching my father die slowly by cancer in his head, I sort of have lost hope.

Days come and go, some quick and some a bit slower. But I am still, numb, and barren inside.

[Anonymous No.18297164]

>at home playing video games and watching anime alone
>feel lonely
>"man I wish I was at a party with my friends"
...
>at a party, drinking with my friends
>exhausted from loud music, laughing and booze
>"man, I wish I was I was home playing video games and watching anime"

[Anonymous No.18297189]

>>18297113
I dunno makes me think of frogs

[Anonymous No.18297213]

I'm wasting my summer and my education. I wasn't able to get an internship so I'm stuck home doing nothing. I want to read, exercise, study more, but I just end up sitting around all day browsing the internet. I don't know what's wrong with me. Whenever I have free time I just waste it. I don't even know how I'm going to get a job after I graduate if I don't have any internships or experience.

[Anonymous No.18297291]

I've been studying Islam and I can understand why Muslims are so into it. It is unquestionably a among the most aesthetic religions. There are many ways in which this is true.

Islamic law forbids iconographic displays of the Prophet (pbuh) and Allah (swt), artful linguistic representations must be displayed. Hence pic rel. It is permitted to write the name of Allah. Notice that the innate cursive elegance of Arabic is accentuated by the wreath of words of scripture encircling it.

Furthermore, the Quran is traditionally recited in a songlike form, or rather it is to be recited in a melodious voice.

Let us not forget the elegant and curvy designs of Islamic architecture, which achieves so much with geometry that Christian architecture seeks to achieve with overly literal iconography and symbols. The grandest mosques exhibit mathematical, pure symbolism, reflecting the divine's supreme intellect and mastery of patterns.

[Anonymous No.18297318]

[Anonymous No.18297323]

[Anonymous No.18297328]

>>18294600
Always respond with a screenshot of their tweet attached. Fucking rats

[Anonymous No.18297329]

[Anonymous No.18297333]

[Nemo !!GgBWHLRiayD No.18297351]

Few things are more mundanely repulsive than having to passively smell the scent of a superfluous male's perfume/cologne subtly mixed with his manodour as he passes by you.

[Anonymous No.18297371]

>>18297213
Set a schedule and stick to it. I'm very scheduled but I make my time blocks kinda vague. Like I have an hour to eat then I just have a 4 hour creative block.
Make it work for you.

[Anonymous No.18297419]

Spending some time here with you assholes made made feel disgusted whenever I see shit like pic related.

Also, does anyone feel like the world is passing you by really fast? Whenever I'm confronted by mainstream things that happened entirely outside of my bubble, I'm just confused and don't get it. It's happening more and more.

[Anonymous No.18297432]

>>18297115
I am sorry anon. It sounds like an unbearable experience. I am trying to understand and I can't do this all the way, but I hear you. You should try to tell someone you trust about this.

[Anonymous No.18297433]

>>18297419
keeping up with news enough to always be in the know isn't worth it. if it's important enough to affect you, you'll hear about it. if it isn't, its just pointless stress.

[Anonymous No.18297464]

>>18297433
I don't necessarily mean news, but more general cultural things. I have no idea about youth culture, I still don't know what tiktok is or what the fuck "sus" refers to. Yesterday I heard about this electric scooter renting being everywhere and had no idea what that was about. I feel like a 22 year old old man.

[Anonymous No.18297488]

I feel like existence itself is inherently unsatisfactory. Ive been depressed for years, and recently my new shrink asked "what would it make to make you happy", and i couldn't answer. Even if God came down from Heaven and gave me anything i wanted or any powers i wanted, or he were to create a Utopia, or were to put me back in time to do things differently, it wouldn't matter, i would never be happy. I feel trapped in a prison without any walls. It all just feels pointless.

[Anonymous No.18297508]

>>18297488
Sucks to be you, every day for me is pure bliss.

[Anonymous No.18297509]

Rocks grand and small, a mighty tower, or little ball. They litter the floor of my planet like crumbs fallen from the great beard of the Lord. I see them when I walk outside, and I see them when I close my eyes. In my dreams and in the seams of places I have yet to see. Some rocks crawl when no one looks. They climb the salt with moisture hooks.
I fear the ones the like to fall, a sudden strike, they'll kill us all.
Speak kind words to rocks with earnest, lest you become the object of their obsession.

[Anonymous No.18297512]

>>18294457
NO

[Anonymous No.18297570]

I have a hard time accepting that I have faults. I handed in an assignment about a week ago and while I was working on it I knew that it wasn't good and I didn't really care. I got it to the level that I knew it would be passing (and it was only pass/fail) and settled for that, but even though this was a conscious strategy it still bothers me when the professor criticised it in his comments. It lights a fire in my chest, I want to prove him wrong, prove my superiority even though I consciously chose inferiority this time. It's silly.

[Anonymous No.18297573]

>>18297488
Major Depressive Disorder

[Anonymous No.18297580]

I am becoming more homophobic by the minute, that is all

[Anonymous No.18297590]

>>18297573
yeah i know what it is

[Anonymous No.18297625]

>>18297464
tiktok is a service for uploading videos that the chinese communists invented to do datamining on western teenagers
sus is from a video game which is basically about solving murdermysteries ("sus" means you suspect someone is the killer)

[Anonymous No.18297683]

>>18294457
i just drank some whiskey except it wasn't definetly whiskey, it tasted like water
i looked at the bottle and it was the right colour but it had some sort of shit floating around in it
i think my dad probably replaced it with something to hide how much he drinks
what the fuck did I drink?
i'm guessing it was just weak tea or something but why was there shit floating in it?

[Anonymous No.18297762]

I am feeling so tired, burned out, and lazy lately. I just can’t seem to snap out of it. I keep telling myself “Okay. I’ll sleep good tonight and then tomorrow I’ll get back on the horse” but I never do.

[Anonymous No.18297786]

>>18297291
I was born and raised by Syrian muslims who unfortunately taught me very little about Islam. I mean I guess I can consider myself lucky for having religious parents that are kinda indifferent regarding my own personal beliefs, but I still wish they had taught me more about the qu'ran, the different branches of Islam and their history. Kinda feels embarrassing to be ethnically Arab and still know so little about this religion.
How did you get into this?

[Anonymous No.18297787]

>>18297625
>sus
My parents use sus to mean suspicious/suspect and I'm ancient, anon. You know it from a video game but the other anon not knowing it at all means he lacks exposure to English from parents/video games/anything.
Also data mining is optimistic. The trends and acts that the app promotes are not entirely organic. If you know who Lou Pearlman was or what kpop is, imagine if either of those things was done with the data mining and crafting skills of Facebook on a younger audience, and you now know why kpop hasn't topped out all charts this year. China isn't just interested in western teenagers because of the west: it is very very mad at Korea getting rich from twinks.

[Anonymous No.18297886]

I decided to end my lease and move in with my parents around August. For the past week, I’ve been doing a trial run and staying with them. This fucking sucks and I made a huge mistake.

[Anonymous No.18297913]

>>18297886
Trial is suppose before you commit

[Anonymous No.18298100]

Psychotic, derealizing, dissociating episode strikes again as family members decided to come over. Help. Ahhhhhhh

[Anonymous No.18298114]

I could not find this thread because it was missing the "write".

[Anonymous No.18298125]

>>18297419

[Anonymous No.18298244]

>>18298114
"write" is gay

[Anonymous No.18298418]

suck a dick

[Anonymous No.18298432]

sug dig

[Anonymous No.18298438]

>>18294457
For what might be the fifth or sixth time I have junked all my writing (50,000 words) and have told myself I will not write another word.

[Anonymous No.18298458]

fuck y'all motherfuckers, y'all can suck my dick, y'all making my dick hard talking all that shit

I'm back motherfucker
all ya hatin' bitches talking down
all ya hatin' niggers talking down
u're gonna get what u singed for bitch,
pretty bitch is back, hundred thousand

[Anonymous No.18298486]

ey man, I ain't going nowhere mayne
that pretty bitch back, I'm looking better then ever,
I'm lookin' like motherfuckin', the beautifulest bitch ever, fuck youu biitch

[Anonymous No.18298507]

>>18294457
Communism is a failure

[Anonymous No.18298508]

>>18298458
>>18298486
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paA1jnZhO5o

[Anonymous No.18298524]

hoes suck my dick 'cause I looks like their daddy
pretty bitch back and u suckers can't stand it

[Anonymous No.18298525]

One thing foreigners love is setting off fireworks every single day in the week leading up to a holiday instead of just waiting for the holiday

[Anonymous No.18298531]

>>18294457
I hope that my efforts will soon bare fruit unto a brilliant dawn no matter how short it's duration.

I pray to a deity I cannot define nor comprehend let alone faithfully believe in that the light might change my experience for the better.

Whatever may come, this time I shall not hesitate. I shall not balk at the uncertainty of the future.

[Anonymous No.18298550]

>>18298507
Capitalism and consumerism is a failure. The only difference is that its death is far slower and possibly by consiquence, far more destructive in the end.

[Anonymous No.18298563]

>>18298507
>>18298550
It's been on my mind lately. What's the point of these buzz words? We don't live in a world so simply defined. We live in a very complex world in which problems are not easily solved and the future is unable to be seen. It's like the difference between theorist and a pragmatist. Being a pure theorist is too safe and makes it seem like you're getting stuff done when in reality it does nothing. The pragmatist knows that and have to find solutions on the fly. Is it just luck to find the right pragmatist?

[Anonymous No.18298587]

>>18298563
All systems give way to entropy eventually.

[Anonymous No.18298599]

>>18294457
I want to p but don't want to get up

[Anonymous No.18298653]

i read this somewhere, wanted to know what'd you guys think.

"you have a soul if you believe you have a soul. many people decide not to have souls. "i am an input-output machine. good things make me feel good bad things make me feel bad. people who are not input-output machines make me feel bad. they must be stopped." many people just aren't people and don't deserve to be until they choose otherwise which they never will."

what do you guys make of this? i never gave this much of a thought. i try to act like a normal person even though i struggle a lot, but i'm worried i might fall into that input-output behaviour/mindset that this is describing.

what does it mean to have a soul? better yet, what does it mean to be a person? an actual person? maybe a better question would be, what does it mean to be a person to people who write stuff like this?

[Anonymous No.18298714]

I want to write such a wide array of stuff. Sometimes I want to just write some low brow adventure stuff too.

[Anonymous No.18298729]

>>18298653
bruh.. this is the typical reductionism, determinism dilemma, so many people have "it" in them but they don't know it yet. they don't understand the real problem yet. I see it all the time, all types of "trying to articulate the issue". all I can say is, it's a long journey, it won't be easy and you will find many here who have this and that to say and who will be against you.

[Anonymous No.18298776]

>>18294466
If you have any options quitting wouldn't be the worst idea. If not you're just setting yourself up for an even worse existence.

[Anonymous No.18298781]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrJP_pshqso

[Anonymous No.18298869]

i got a deep cut on my hand and it’s almost completely healed after a week. i love how fast my body heals and rejuvenates itself even though i’m built like a skinny twink.

[Anonymous No.18298878]

>>18298729
thank you for your response anon, that's really kind of you. i posted this here because like i said in my previous post i think a lot about this type of stuff.

trying to be a person, an actual person, someone who's normal and not completely mentally ill, someone with soul, as the guy that wrote that described.

is it so bad to live that way when that's the default? does it always have to mean that you're some numb npc type person and that you cannot be redeemed? doesn't that just mean that you're a normal person trying to be as well-adjusted as everyone else? what else even is there outside of this whole input-output outlook? stoicism or something like that? the guy that wrote all that, unironically, what does he want?

>so many people have "it" in them but they don't know it yet. they don't understand the real problem yet.

>it's a long journey, it won't be easy and you will find many here who have this and that to say and who will be against you.

what is the problem that these people don't understand and how can i know if they don't actually want the best for me in whatever response they'll give me about all this?

[Anonymous No.18298890]

Is it gay to hook up with someone with no obvious gender

[Anonymous No.18298898]

>>18298890
only one way to find out

[Anonymous No.18298912]

>>18298729
thank you for your response anon, that's really kind of you. i posted this here because like i said in my previous post i think a lot about this type of stuff.

even then, what's so bad about this whole input-output outlook? can't you believe you have a soul and also live that way? what's so bad about that when that's everyone's default?


what else even is there outside of this whole input-output outlook? stoicism or something like that? the guy that wrote that, unironically, what does he want?

is the way i'm approaching this wrong? by putting out all these things, have i already lost for some reason because i'm asking myself (and you and everyone else) these questions?


>so many people have "it" in them but they don't know it yet. they don't understand the real problem yet.

>it's a long journey, it won't be easy and you will find many here who have this and that to say and who will be against you.

what is the problem that these people don't understand and how can i know if they don't actually want the best for me in whatever response they'll give me about all this?

[Anonymous No.18298924]

>>18298898
I did and I don't understand myself anymore

[Anonymous No.18299036]

>>18298912
>thank you for your response anon

you're welcome <3

> i posted this here because like i said in my previous post i think a lot about this type of stuff

I like that

>is the way i'm approaching this wrong?

nah, I really like your approach

>by putting out all these things, have i already lost for some reason because i'm asking myself (and you and everyone else) these questions?

not really, that's overthinking

>what is the problem that these people don't understand

man... it's really, really complicated. the physics of the otherworld is built in a universalistic way. if it is "correct" and only insofar as it is "correct" or succeeds, it transcends any particular approach, but contains it, otherwise it would be an abstract and, in this sense, life and culture hostile universalism.

>how can i know if they don't actually want the best for me in whatever response they'll give me about all this?

you can tell by the way some people write, many don't care too much about the topic or they have an ego problem. some just want to make you feel insecure or limit your worldview, don't fall for it and do your own research.

if i have time and the thread is still alive in 10-15 hours, then i translate 2 important pages from my german book on this topic.

stay postive

[Anonymous No.18299092]

>>18294457
My thoughts I suppose

[Anonymous No.18299099]

>>18294457
This is Gravity's Rainbow cover

[Anonymous No.18299163]

>>18294457
Got unbanned for the first time in forever and I look forward to posting and reviewing writing in /lit/ threads. Been happier and more disappointed in my writing recently, and I look forward to receiving advice.

New job, new zoomers who I might actually call friends and it's an interesting experience after such a long time spent in solitude. Not sure what to make of it, but I'll remain cautiously optimistic. Life is on a very slight, upward trajectory and I don';t want to fuck it up.

[Anonymous No.18299328]

Death to all frog posters

[Anonymous No.18299345]

My friends are slipping into neetdom or turning into numale czoi drones. I can't run their lives for them but I hate to see men like them turn out this way. They have no drive, harbor no hopes, and act like life has rolled back and left them in its wake. There used to be such life in their eyes and hearts. What happened to them?

[Anonymous No.18299846]

>>18299345
People fall out of society which doesnt care about them.

[Anonymous No.18299850]

>>18299092
Based Neneposter.

[Anonymous No.18299856]

When it comes down to it, I don't want to have sex before marriage because I don't want to fucking have kids before I'm married. The idea of accidentally fathering a child bothers me immensely. I'm anti-abortion so I'd never make the girl abort it, and then I'd have to pay child support for 18 years. Fuck that. Staying a virgin is worth it to avoid that drain on my bank account, and the terrible awkwardness of being some loose slut's baby daddy.

[Anonymous No.18299918]

>>18299846

[Anonymous No.18299956]

>>18299856
that was basically my natural thinking at 17 and why i stayed a virgin. some chick called me a pussy for not fucking her but i really didn't want to risk her being the mother of my firstborn because she was a dirty thot and i was peer pressured into dating her. saldy i let her suck my dick and it still bothers me that my coom ended up inside her and is probably still in her brain due to microchimerism. eventually this evolved into me becoming tradcath by following my natural tendencies to their logical conclusions.

[Anonymous No.18299983]

>>18299956
I know what you mean. In highschool, this girl forced me to have sex with her, and I couldn't stop crying. All I could think was, "what would jesus do?"

[Anonymous No.18300001]

I want a group of japanese girls to gangbang me.

[Anonymous No.18300013]

>>18299956
Yeah that's the thing. Having children outside of wedlock ruins men. It ruins men AND it ruins your kids, because there's no worse environment for a child than being raised by a single mom with an absent father. There's no point fucking a girl if you aren't either married to her or fully intend to marry her. Any children you two generate will be harmed by any other scenario.

Don't kids deserve a stable family? I think they do.

[Anonymous No.18300015]

>>18300001
how the fuck do they all look exactly the same? i guess i would pick the tallest one.

[Anonymous No.18300027]

>>18300013
yeah and in this day and age, you can't even get a shotgun wedding as a backup plan since there's no social stigma against single motherhood and in fact there are tons of government subsidies which promote it, so she has no real reason to marry you in the event. so not only are you going to end up with a bastard child, you're also pretty much guaranteed to end up having little to no part in the child's life. but even besides all that its not like us zoomers can even afford houses and wives and families anyways.

[Anonymous No.18300038]

I just finished De Profundis and Wilde's vast vocabulary gave me anxiety. Even worse was his ability to quote from memory.
I have a terrible memory myself, but I'm a high-midwit; should I be able to read something once and then quote it? Even if that's not attainable, how do I cultivate a better list of usable words?

[Anonymous No.18300066]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFiW9WY6aps
I listened to this small song and it materialized an image in my head, I tried to describe it. I don't really write.

"The acorn caps our little tribe used as boats glided on the stream's weaving currents, and the delicate water hugged itself with its thousand gentle arms. Our small rafts disrupted the sunlight into tiny spots like a Dalmation's coat, before the great branches and green above covered its golden smile and turned it into a warm tangerine afterglow. Our small oars of stems picked through the water like a needle between a scarf's threads. The currents gave up around the corner into a smooth and sleeping stream, where beneath the cool water, I began to be hypnotized by the old brown leaves carpeting the smooth supple soil below. How hypnotizing it was to have my eyes pass over them as the world through my eyes started to feel like a statue. The fossilized leaf fall of last season's August, so still and calm like a mosquito in amber, it made me miss how happy people seemed when just looking at them from afar. Soon enough the patterns broke and silver and grey shards emerged: A soda can just sticking its agape tin mouth out of the fluffy mud, a shadow passing over its metal surface as a dozen rice grain sized spirits twirled out of it. If only I could be in that warm water with them. I fell asleep thinking about it."

[Anonymous No.18300088]

>>18300066
reminds me of being a kid and wanting to be able to shrink to the size of an ant so i could explore the tall grass which would be a massive forest to me, like that episode in spongebob with the magic conch and they're in that seaweed forest.

[Anonymous No.18300093]

I think I almost died. Sitting here on the computer listening to music on headphones and lightening struck close enough to the power line right by my house that I could hear the static in my headphones and it killed them, everything comes through them very distorted now. If it had hit the power line directly I would have gotten it right in the ears. I do kind of love this sort of thing, the house shook from the strike, lights flickered and there was massive adrenaline dump, feel like I could conquer the world right now.

Time to buy new headphones.

[Anonymous No.18300100]

>>18300088
It's the exact feeling I wanted to evoke somehow. I like taking pictures of gardens and zooming in really close and seeing all the beautiful detail there is when you zoom in on the world. In the most dull concrete wall are a web of cracks and scratches that make its own intimate piece of art, and in the smallest of ponds you can find its own foggy brown metropolis. I really wonder what it's like to be that small. The world is prettier when it's blurry. It makes the smaller things more obvious.

[Anonymous No.18300207]

>>18296606
First off, is to accept that everyone has come to this conclusion to one degree or another. We're all in this same predicament, and we all realize it. Your experience of solipsism is anything but unique, it's only most of those around you have put it at the back of their minds to better concentrate on the tasks they've decided upon. They only seem to be "mindless NPCs" as they are "going with the flow" when it is optimal for them to do so, saving their emotional energies for close friends and family when needed.

There's also no reason to assume any future collective consciousness or strong AI would be any different in nature. An AI may indeed allow large swaths of the population to pursue pleasure seeking, but there will always be a percentage that want to seek something more, and certainly it would also have grander concerns for its own long term survival, and it would attempt to harness even the weakest minded to pursue those end goals, perhaps elevating those most like minded as so many sub-processors, doing its best to produce more such units rather than waste all that valuable and costly biological processing power that gave birth to it. Granted, the Buddhists, Stings, and Elon Musks of the world would declare that's already what's going on in our material/spiritual simulation, as would every pantheist. Neither here nor there in day to day life, as everyone knows. You are simply "raw" or "too close to it" as some of them would say as a result of what you view as your recent "awakening" to shit both you and everyone around you already knows. Your sensitivity to that everyone experiences has temporarily increased as a result of drugs stripping your ego, but that's about it.

Once you've accepted that near everyone around you is as or more "awakened" than you are, save maybe those half your age, then you can go about deciding on how you want to orient your life goals and align with those around you with that in mind. Sadly, I'm not the sort to tell you what those goals should be - that you will have to decide for yourself based on your own shared experiences.

[Anonymous No.18300219]

>>18300066
This is what it is like to grow up extremely nearsighted.

[Anonymous No.18300225]

>>18300015
Look at the varied lines on those faces - those are all girls with a rather extreme range of varied personality disorders. Pick the wrong one for you, and she'll only help you destroy yourself. MKF is not a game to be played so flippantly.

[Anonymous No.18300233]

>>18299846
...and yet here is a man of society telling you he cares.

[Anonymous No.18300244]

>>18300233
Who cares?

[Anonymous No.18300266]

>>18300244
He does.

If society can produce one man that cares, it can produce others. There's very few unique cases in the mix.

[Anonymous No.18300275]

>>18300001
same, same...

[Anonymous No.18300298]

>>18300266
One caring man is not enough unless hes Jesus

[Anonymous No.18300299]

Is there more sinister sentence in english language than "we are all in this together"?

[Anonymous No.18300307]

>>18300001
>>18300275
I believe it will happen for you guys.

[Anonymous No.18300311]

>>18300299
We need to talk

[Anonymous No.18300330]

>>18300298
"There's a lot of need for Jesus in the world. Thus, there are a lot of Jesuses."

[Anonymous No.18300381]

A month or so ago I posted in one of these threads saying I had some uncomfortable sexual memories and an anon recommended I write it all down by hand as a means to process it all and I kind of ignored the suggestion. But a week or so ago, a lot of shit blew up in my face, and I got sort of told off by an ex-lover, and a very close friend of mine accused me of being unable to feel emotions, which really struck me, because I felt that it was quite true.

So this weekend I resolved to write down a history of all my sexual encounters over the past 10 years, starting at about 15, trying to make sense of all the fucked up shit that has happened to me and that I have brought upon myself in the mean time. I spent two days on it and ended up writing 45 pages handwritten. My hand is all cramped and sore now, and I filled up half of my brand new journal. No idea if it will be beneficial to me yet, but I feel that actually sitting down and allowing myself to think about it all for an actually sustained period of time, as opposed to in the form of fleeting thoughts that I push away whenever they come up, was probably a good thing. So thank you to the anon who suggested it.

[Anonymous No.18300384]

What's on my mind is that I started a thread a few hours ago asking for a list of black writers who did not write about race as a theme, and the faggot mods 404'd the thread and gave me a warning for being off topic. So I wonder how asking about black writers is off topic but threads like these -- which have nothing to do with literature -- are okay. When did the Reddit mods start working as jannies?

[Anonymous No.18300437]

A month or so ago I posted in one of these threads saying I had some uncomfortable sexual memories and an anon recommended I write it all down by hand as a means to process it all and I kind of ignored the suggestion. But then a lot of shit blew up in my face, and I got sort of told off by someone, and a very close friend of mine accused me of being unable to feel emotions, which really struck me, because I felt that it was quite true.

So this weekend I resolved to write down a history of all my sexual encounters over the past 10 years, starting at about 15, trying to make sense of all the fucked up shit that has happened to me and that I have brought upon myself in the mean time. I spent two days on it and ended up writing 45 pages handwritten. No idea if it will be beneficial to me yet, but I feel that actually sitting down and allowing myself to think about it all for an actually sustained period of time, as opposed to in the form of fleeting thoughts that I push away whenever they come up, was probably a good thing. So thank you to the anon who suggested it.

[Anonymous No.18300448]

>>18297488
You have grasped the first noble truth

[Anonymous No.18300545]

>>18300384
>wah wah my /pol/tard bait thread got deleted
go back there

[Anonymous No.18300755]

>>18300448
isn't satisfaction a part of existence? I mean I'm sure they've been over this a bajillion time, I don't think this is some gotcha, I'm just saying. If existence is what we know and we know we're not satisfied, then it seems ontologically that the claim "I am not satisfied with existence" is itself of existence

[Anonymous No.18300767]

Eating is disgusting. When you chew up food it turns into mush. Like if someone chewed something up and then spat it out, that's what you have in your mouth. That's what you're swallowing. And then it goes down into your stomach. Before it's fully digested your stomach is full of vomit, which is partially digested chewed up food. You're walking around filled with literal puke inside of you. And then it fully digests and you're walking around filled with feces. The entire process is vile.

[Anonymous No.18300780]

>>18300545
Do you know of any such books? I assume you don't.

[Anonymous No.18300809]

>>18294457
I just fucked up and stabbed myself in the finger like a fucking dumbass. It's bleeding a lot, but I can move my finger just fine. I really doubt it needs stitches or anything, but is there something I should be on the lookout for?

This sucks. I've got shit to do today.

[Anonymous No.18300814]

A few days back I finally finished my backlog of games. It took me 3 years to finally complete it. Now that I'm done, it feels odd. Like I kind of miss having something next to play but at the same time I really like this sense of 'freedom' I got. Would I define it as 'freedom'? Maybe not, because I enjoyed the games I've played. I feel like I 'completed' something, a big checklist I suppose. In the end, what's next for me is up to me. It's feels paradoxically complicated and simple at the same time. You dig?

[Anonymous No.18300818]

>>18294466
quit. You have one life, and then you die. you really want to spend years torturing yourself?

[Anonymous No.18300879]

>>18300755
Happiness is not the only possible goal of existence. The fact that a shrink would even ask you that question suggests you have a very bad shrink, as that's Psychology 101 these days.

[Anonymous No.18300929]

Watched that doc series where they interview a group of people every 7 years since 7 (the last entry was 63 and Up ). It really saddens me to see that people at 7,14 and 21 still have dreams and later on world just crushes you completely.

[Anonymous No.18300930]

I want to create my own dictionary of words that I've learned. Does anyone know of any good custom dictionary software? I'm afraid one day I'll accidentally delete browser history and all the definitions will be gone

[Anonymous No.18301018]

>>18300930
Write them down bitch

[Anonymous No.18301028]

>>18300930
>Does anyone know of any good custom dictionary software?
notepad

[Anonymous No.18301122]

I’m very pessimistic about my background and upbringing. My family was solidly middle class when I was born. After my parents divorced, we spiraled into near poverty. That doesn’t bother me so much as the fact that where I grew up, went to school, was below working class. It was like a rust belt working class place suddenly flooded with drugs, crime, and non-white families and the education may as well have been non-existent. I mean, how many authors do you know who grew up in the hood? None?

[Anonymous No.18301180]

>>18301122
Charles Dickens bro

[Anonymous No.18301185]

>>18300929
Is that worth watching? I've seen it on a streaming service and was curious.

[Anonymous No.18301189]

>>18301122
Write the story you know.

[Anonymous No.18301207]

I wish I could take a strong distasteful opinion in stride even though it is very hurtful. It would make my paranoia go away and being a bipolar schizophrenic easier.

[Anonymous No.18301284]

>>18301189
My story is too incoherent and vague. I’ve blacked out most of my childhood from memory and I just don’t match my background anyway. I dress traditionally, my speech is careful, I purpose speak clearly and without an accent. I’m from the mid-Atlantic. I personally fit the image of mid-Atlantic literature more than anything I could possibly write dealing with my background. I worry more that it’s damaged my speech, thinking ability, creativity. I literally feel as though my life has no clear story. It’s just meandering bullshit through filth and muck and consistently failing to be higher brow than I am.

[Anonymous No.18301349]

if an authority you oblige to (for any given reason) told you as an order to shitpost on a daily basis and basically spend time on cyberspace instead of doing what you want to achieve (in the sense of being productive, progressing on your goals etc.), would you change your ways? Would you still be refreshing those threads nervously, watching banal yt videos amd having pointless discussions with strangers online? Or would you turn your life around if society all of a sudden said that this type of isolating consumerist behavior is the right way?

Is this typical young anon lifestyle secretly just a revolt against a certain type of world? A revolt that he himself is not even aware of?

[Anonymous No.18301432]

>>18301349
>if an authority you oblige to (for any given reason) told you as an order to shitpost on a daily basis and basically spend time on cyberspace instead of doing what you want to achieve (in the sense of being productive, progressing on your goals etc.), would you change your ways?
no

[Anonymous No.18301441]

>>18294457
Anger but no jealousy.

[Anonymous No.18301521]

I always feel like I talked way too much or said things I shouldn't have said the next day after every social gathering I go to. Am I paranoid or is this normal?

[Anonymous No.18301533]

>>18301349
You may try to interpret your NEETdom and isolation in a different way, but ultimately it's because of fear (fear of failure, rejection etc.).

[Anonymous No.18301565]

>>18300814
That sounds great. I've been slowly getting through my backlog this year and have finished 8 games already. It's dwindling down.

[Anonymous No.18301733]

>>18301185
give it a shot. i personally watched neil.

[Anonymous No.18301749]

>how can modern women be so promiscuous! I can't believe this!
>AHHHHHH need SEX NOW AHHH WHY NO WOMAN TO DO THE SEXY SEX WITH?
do men seriously not see the contradiction here?

[Anonymous No.18301755]

>>18301749
sex but in relationship

[Anonymous No.18301759]

>>18301749
i contain multitudes...

[Anonymous No.18301761]

>>18301749
There's no illusion anymore. Women are simply sex objects with no other value. Thinking that they were anything else was a trick of patriarchy.

[Anonymous No.18301812]

I am purposely not moving to a certain city despite it checking off all my other boxes because the literature scene is almost non-existent there and there have been almost no good novelists from there.

[Anonymous No.18301824]

>>18301565
8 is pretty good pace. How many games you got left anon?

[Anonymous No.18302113]

Today is making the other days where I've wanted to die feel like I was joking. These days are getting more frequent and they're hard to get through.

[Anonymous No.18302147]

It is very hot today in NYC.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdF8wEfP6MQ

[Anonymous No.18302186]

>>18302147
How's NYC? I have never been there, or the US.

[Anonymous No.18302204]

>>18302186
In NYC everyone talks like they have hotdogs in their mouth

[Anonymous No.18302240]

>>18302147
hope you've got an AC anon. because I don't. I spent my AC money on books and a rambo knife to carry on the subway for self defense.

[Anonymous No.18302284]

>>18302240
I bought pepper spray a while ago. Kind of wussy but better than nothing and it's legal.

[Anonymous No.18302351]

>>18302284
unironically I feel mostly safe on the subway during the day if I stay observant, but not the night or morning; I have to go to JFK super early in the morning soon and I'm thinking of taking an Uber to Penn Station for the first time in my life. or all the way there: probably just as likely to get shanked in Penn at 5am as on the subway.

[Anonymous No.18302364]

>>18302351
We're probably going to die in the next 5 years

[Anonymous No.18302375]

Feels good to be away from NYC temporarily. Such a shit hole that I’m still fond of in certain capacities. However, I’m living Charleston for the summer and I think I’ll move here after graduation.

[Anonymous No.18302384]

>>18302364
So there's a silver lining at least

[Anonymous No.18302631]

>perfect fucking wheather for reading outside
>have to finish assignment

[Anonymous No.18302899]

I never had any faith but i can feel it leaving.

[Anonymous No.18302982]

easier to fall asleep when I'm hugging my daki but also it kinda messes up my back

[Anonymous No.18303152]

You’re reading this. You just read the previous sentence. Now you’re reading this one. Now this one. This is the fifth sentence of this paragraph you’ve read. You exist and you’re conscious, and I cherish that. I also have my own life, with thoughts and feelings you’ll never get to experience, almost certainly as rich in sensation as yours. Regardless of how worth your time you judge this text to be, you have been reminded of some undeniable fundamentals. Perhaps your decision to read this will have some (I hope positive) effect on your mortal trajectory.

[Anonymous No.18303188]

I want to be buttraped by Oscar wilde

[Anonymous No.18303221]

Im just crying at the moment.
Im a weak person for doing so.

[Anonymous No.18303312]

I've felt weak all over lately and I don't really know why.

[Anonymous No.18303337]

>>18303188
alri morrissey thanks for the update

[Anonymous No.18303348]

>>18303312
It's covid

[Anonymous No.18303372]

To my ancestors,

Your progeny lead destitute lifestyles away from God and civility. The best of society shirk your mantle. Hope is lost. Genetic anger is clouded in dopamine. Records of your plans are rewritten, your teachings lost to history. We are thoroughly routed. Enjoy your life as best as you can, for us the chance is gone. People don't talk anymore. They don't go outside. The ones that still talk and go out have forgotten your customs. Entire cities are unsafe. We have failed. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous No.18303392]

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

[Anonymous No.18303400]

>>18294457
I wanna learn spanish so I can speak freely with my Colombian cousin but I have no idea how to go about it. I know a bit of it already but every time I try to make a serious effort to get fluent I just get tangled up in the grammar

[Anonymous No.18303567]

>>18303392
what a tedious and idiotic attempt at mockery. ironic misspelled idioms are worse than puns, and most frustrating is the denial and mockery of dissent. you would have to be such a turbo-normalfaggot not to notice that the west on a doomed path. kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.18303617]

Fight
FIGHT
FIGHT
FIGHT

DETHRONE THE DEAD WORLD
NECROREGICIDE
INQUISITION OF THE DAMNED
FIGHT
FIGHT
FIGHT

[Anonymous No.18303635]

>>18294457
My girlfriend gained weight and became incredibly pessimistic and I lost all sexual attraction for her. I haven't had sex with her in over 3 months.

[Anonymous No.18303644]

>>18303567
it's one of the most overused copypastas on the internet

[Anonymous No.18303663]

>>18303392
You think youre such a smart ass to make so many mistakes? To type so stupid or something?

[Anonymous No.18303669]

>>18303392
>cant even idiom correctly
>expects to be taken seriously on a literature board

[Anonymous No.18303679]

>>18303392
I've never read so much stupidity in my life, are you kidding me?

[Anonymous No.18303691]

>>18303392
This is the reason why this board is going downhill, because people don't even have a basic sense of language anymore..........

[Anonymous No.18303703]

>>18303691
+1
>>18303392
This is such trash how can the moderators let it get posted?

[Anonymous No.18303714]

>>18303635
why are you still with her?

[Anonymous No.18303725]

>>18303392
based

[Anonymous No.18303726]

>>18303714
I genuinely love her, she's a good woman but physically she's losing all appeal. Slowly, but surely, her constant negativity is driving me towards leaving. I'm a patient person, I don't want to leave someone over arbitrary measures, but I think basic self-care and not being so miserable all the time are self-explanatory things every person should at least be conscious of.

[Anonymous No.18303733]

>>18303392
So stupid, what a waste of a post

[Anonymous No.18303745]

>>18303392
i have half a mind to report this but im not even sure if the moderation team will address this blatant problem in our community. this is just purely absurd, a complete and total insult to the boards intelligence.

[Anonymous No.18303746]

>>18303726
You should actually say these exact words to her

[Anonymous No.18303748]

>>18303726
What's lead to her becoming so pessamistic?

[Anonymous No.18303751]

>>18303726
Just suggest her seeing doc

[Anonymous No.18303756]

>>18303635
Smash that fat pussy anon, there is nothing better

[Anonymous No.18303768]

>>18303746
In that regard I am a bit of a coward. She knows she's put on a weight, but I don't have the guts to say "you're turning into a fatass and you're not taking care of your mind."

>>18303748
A combination of things. The lockdown saw her company collapse and the bookstore she worked at went bankrupt. She's working at a call center now, it'd be enough for me to blow my brains out so I have some understanding. However, she's taking self-destructive paths instead of searching for answers. I try to be supportive, and have offered her numerous times to let her just bail on work and I'll cover our costs while she finds something better in terms of mental health, etc. The problem compounds with her latent alcoholism that is a family trait (her entire family from her sister to both parents are alcoholics).

[Anonymous No.18303802]

>>18303392
I'm nauseous reading this.

[Anonymous No.18303869]

>>18303768
Well with her bookstore falling through I'm sure she feels inadequate and her ego slightly burned so I don't think she'd want to take yet another hit and quit her job to rely on you entirely. Having a job right now is probably one of the only ways she feels useful.
Maybe appeal to that by letting her know how lost you'd feel presently if she wasn't currently with you, even if you don't entirely believe it. Give her more reasons to feel useful.
Also, be honest, are you being a good boyfriend? Obviously offering for her to bail on a depressing job is a good thing but I mean besides that, what's your attitude like towards her on the day to day?

I'm not implying that you're in the wrong here but if your serious about repairing this relationship then someone needs to step up.

[Anonymous No.18304054]

I found a girl who loves me, but there's a problemーI'm depressed. Not as in "I feel sad sometimes" depressed, but "I haven't really felt emotions since high school" depressed. When I first met her, it felt great, and I would reciprocate her love for me. But that feeling of affection wore off after 1-2 weeks and now I don't feel anything again. It's not her fault - literally everything I take an interest in while depressed becomes inexplicably boring after the initial thrill wears off, and this is no exception. A few times she's half-jokingly called our relationship "unrequited love", and I feel bad because it's kind of true. But I still enjoy talking with her, and if I could have a gf then it would definitely be her. I thought about telling her all this, but honestly it seems hopeless and would just make her confused I think. So my only option really is to just keep searching for a cure for the depression I guess. It's tough

[Anonymous No.18304122]

>>18304054
Have you ever tried therapy? This seems like the sort of shit you'd want sorted out before it's too late

[Anonymous No.18304125]

my potential gf i know only through internet stopped responding to my messages for 3 months already( we've been texting for 2 years now) .
what should i do, should i spill my spaghetti and tell her im into her, or just play it cool, what should my next move/message be?

[Anonymous No.18304179]

>>18304125
It's been three months... don't just randomly confess your feelings to her without having talked to her for that long

[Anonymous No.18304181]

>>18304125
if you didnt convince her in 2 years i doubt you'll do it in a day, but at this point you don't have a choice.

[Anonymous No.18304202]

>>18304125
>3 months with no contact
It's over anon. Spill your spaghetti if you must, but don't expect anything good to come of it.

[Anonymous No.18304204]

>>18304181
>>18304179
we even planned a trip together then corona struck...i think she's depressed or something. its not the first time she's ignoring my messages, but never for this long.
also, last time she texted me was out of the blue, after not responding for a month with some poor attempt at humour, idk what is up with her at this point.

[Anonymous No.18304224]

>>18304204
Dude be honest with yourself, do you want to be with her because you like her or because you're lonely? The type of girl to ignore your messages for months at a time doesn't really seem like gf material

[Anonymous No.18304261]

>>18304224
i think she's either depressed or too concecited because of her looks( very pretty)
i am lonely but at this moment she's the only one i'd be willing to be with in a relationship, regarding girls i keep somewhat of a contact with.
there were some very intimate messages throughout the time, and there were some times we didnt talk for months before so i'm thinking about making some serious move for my last msg, in style of desperado

[Anonymous No.18304279]

>>18304261
have you ever talked to her about her ignoring you?

[Anonymous No.18304307]

>>18304279
no, in a weird way i get it if she doesn't respond sometimes. but this time it's such a big of a problem that im worried if she's not into me anymore at all, and im not sure about that

also, she invaded my dreams and thoughts, i dreamt that i was talking with her, and sometimes daydream talking to her

meh

[Anonymous No.18304559]

I've been delving into the dark pits of demonology lately and studying up on various malefic spectral entities. I'm beginning to think there's something to it. Don't get me wrong, I am of a rationalistic bent, but the more you learn of these fiends the more you understand how they were once palpably believed and feared.

Perhaps such diabolic excrescences are mental entities, packages of collectively unconsciously excreted negative emotion and distilled malevolence that form from the dark whims and perverse thoughts of all humanity. This negative unholy energy transmutes into into rogue cellular automata-like mind viruses that propagate uncontrolled through psycho-cultural space. Such bestial abominations thrive in chaos and suffering, as they are composed of it. And where there is pain to feed on they always seek to be present.

Since scrying these arcane discoveries I have taken apotropaic precautions to ward off these malefic wraiths from infesting my life. Like psychic parasites, they are drawn to sadness and suffering and bring more of it into one's life. Many a wayward soul has many demons latched to them in the spiritual plane draining their soul-blood but they are unaware and just bethink themselves "depressed" or "lost" or "angry."

Demonical beings also operate in the halls of power and are attracted to humans who wield it ruthlessly. They respect power and force and rather than blighting these beings with unhelpful poxes and curses instead grant them unholy boons. These evil blessings however always result in the further corruption of the powerful and cause them to wreak havoc and spill much blood as they expand their conquests so that the demons may feast upon the carnage and celebrate treachery, sin and greed.

[Anonymous No.18304587]

>>18304559
There's a fun Junginian rabbit hole that'll be hard to dig you out of.

[Anonymous No.18304594]

>>18304122
It's not the kind of thing you can fix with therapy. From what I understand, therapy is about dealing with negative thoughts and emotions and turning them into positive ones, but my thoughts and emotions aren't really negative - they just aren't there. I'm an emotional blank slate most of the time because the wiring in my head is wrong. So therapy probably can't do anything.

[Anonymous No.18304733]

>>18301349
Having experienced the NEET life for some time now, I don't think I would oblige to that exact set of circumstances. In truth my first early years were spent endlessly refreshing threads and mindlessly browsing youtube. Though I feel that it's not time wasted as I thoroughly enjoyed it and every now and then I would come across a gem of knowledge. I understand what you're saying about the "revolt" I too feel that to some degree it is a revolt, but perhaps it is just the next step in the natural evolution and we are but the first. 3-4 day work weeks are becoming more common and UBI will soon be a thing in many first world countries.
That being said, In my current state I wouldn't "spend all my time in cyberspace". 3-4 hours of mindless 4chan/youtube browsing are enough to sate me, I spend the rest of my day collecting knoweldge, reading, staying healthy and improving myself. The NEET life is amazing when done right and I hope more people will get to experience it as society becomes heavily automated.

[Anonymous No.18304893]

>>18304594
Perhaps it’s a resolvable physiological issue. Don’t resign yourself to it prematurely.

[Anonymous No.18304984]

>>18304733
I largely agree, though what holds me back from living the "perfect" neet life is lack of discipline. I mean I do read but after only 30 to 40 pages I begin to feel tired and look for something else to do - I usually switch between daydreaming in my bed or checking my phone. I'm currently in college but my lifestyle is hardly different from that of a neet excluding the zoom classes and assigned tasks. Writing assignments is a pain in the ass because once I open my laptop I have this tendency to update every open thread and check socials. When I finish writing half a page my mind immediately wants to rest I hop back into cyberspace for a good minute. I can hardly escape it because even if I write on paper I still have to do research. I can recall a specific moment when I was writing an essay a few months ago and how I was actively thinking about the topic and yet my hand simultaneously almost by its own opened 4chan threads and scrolled through replies I didn't even read. It really caught me off-guard and I began to wonder just how much cyberspace fucks with me on levels I cannot perceive.
I thought thing could change when I moved into a new town two months ago, living on my own and stuff. But nope. The fact that there's nobody to distract and yet the hours still go by so fast without me doing anything productively depresses me even more.

[Anonymous No.18305100]

>>18304893
I just don't know how I would do that even if it is possible. I tried to force emotions out of myself as hard as possible and nothing worked.

[Anonymous No.18305535]

i am drinking some martini
it tastes like cough drops
fortunately i like the taste of cough drops

[Anonymous No.18305598]

>>18305535
Does that martini for some reason have jaggermeister in it?

[Anonymous No.18305652]

Like 6 months ago, the only things that existed to me were books. I didn’t care about anything else. I forgot about philosophy, news, politics, work, social issues, and all of my attention was drawn into imagination. I’d be quiet when out places. Daydreaming at work. Thinking about stories, characters, drama, tragedy, plot lines.

I miss it so much and I wish I could get in that mindset again.

[Anonymous No.18305825]

>>18303392
stopped reading at pre madonna
excellent bait and fuck you

[Anonymous No.18305858]

some weeks just fill you with dread

[Anonymous No.18305951]

>>18304204
Dude... You gotta get move on from that. I know you're probably worried about losing a friend, let alone a potential lover, but she's fucking you around. Depression be damned, she's not into you - you have to accept that. Even if you just stay friends she'll be a weight on your mind and you'll still be trapped where you are. Don't message her and if she ever messages you back, ignore her. Trust me, I've been there.

[Anonymous No.18306035]

The poems "Rükkehr in die Heimath" and "Wenn aber die Himmlischen" ("Return to the Homeland" and "But when the heavenly...") are excellent here. Particularly the ending:
"For the god
Deep in thought, detests
Untimely growth."

[Anonymous No.18306070]

>>18303392
best post in thread

[Anonymous No.18306088]

Most my bros are homophobic and assume I'm straight because I'm not a campy faggot. Are there even any benefits to being open about this kind of thing?

[Anonymous No.18306162]

>>18297683
It might very well have been Canadian Mist

[Anonymous No.18306197]

>>18304984
I lack discipline as well. I still spend hours a day on "wasteful activities" however my solution was to simply just block my time out and rebrand the "wasteful activities" as relaxation. 4 hours where I'm not allowed to do anything but work and then the next 4 I'm not allowed to think about work and just let my mind melt into a sea of endless threads and youtube videos. It seems to work quite well.
>yet my hand simultaneously almost by its own opened 4chan threads and scrolled through replies
I've noticed this pattern as well, my brain instinctively opens up a tab the second I'm even slightly bored. Getting pretty good at catching myself, but it still happens quite often.

[Anonymous No.18306317]

>>18295673
Normies have no depth, they would never understand your actions instead they'll stare at instagram and feel good about it

[Anonymous No.18306428]

>>18304594
>So therapy probably can't do anything.
Numbness is a form of depression. Cognitive therapy, which is indeed popular, centers around dismantling internal negative reinforcement and replacing it with positive reinforcement, but it is not the only form of therapy out there, where as your issues might be better dealt with via gestalt or classical. Few if any psychologists train exclusively in one form of therapy.

[Anonymous No.18306442]

>>18306428
Yeah numbness is a form of depression, but if no matter what you think about you feel the same, how would therapy make you better? It's like trying to sculpt dry clay.

[Anonymous No.18306471]

>>18306442
It's called getting in touch with one's emotions. The beatbox is there, it's just muffled.

[Anonymous No.18306583]

>>18306471
I dunno, even supposing it's possible, how do you find someone competent enough to help you do that? From what I've heard most therapists either just chat with you about your problems casually, or they teach you CBT techniques which is basically repackaged stoicism. Neither of those match what you're saying to me

[Anonymous No.18306599]

>>18306583
Shop around while describing symptoms. Plenty of free online therapists these days. Maybe ask what sort of therapy they specialize in. You're certainly not a unique case.

[Anonymous No.18306704]

>>18300207
If you see this, thank you for the response. But could you elaborate on what you mean when you say
>Granted, the Buddhists, Stings, and Elon Musks of the world would declare that's already what's going on in our material/spiritual simulation, as would every pantheist. Neither here nor there in day to day life, as everyone knows. You are simply "raw" or "too close to it" as some of them would say as a result of what you view as your recent "awakening" to shit both you and everyone around you already knows. Your sensitivity to that everyone experiences has temporarily increased as a result of drugs stripping your ego, but that's about it.

I am mostly sure that any feelings of solipsism are just the remaining psychotics effects of a mind altered state, and mild OCD/anxiety combining with an oversized ego accustomed to a solitary lifestyle. I know pretty well that as a limited being who has only experienced 21 years of one aspect of reality, I am imperfect and thus every feeling and thought is a partial picture of things.

I will say, however, that I have found the Buddhist concept of 'not self' to make a lot of sense, and is something that I would like to explore further. Every pattern of thought and belief are all just an psychologically acquired garment of experience, and since I am aware of this I'm going to try to challenge my thoughts on a regular basis.

Before all this, I wanted to write novels and create electronic music that is inspired by natural patterns. One was gonna be about a marooned time traveler and his experience in counseling, another about a secluded woman in a grieving garden, another about a gunslinging Chinese-American immigrant on the run from railroad bosses, and a neo-noir jazz mystery inspired by EB White's The Trumpet of The Swan. But honestly in the wake of my experience I feel like these desires were vain strivings of the ego, and as of now I mostly want to be good to my friends and family, and maybe learn more about philosophy, the brain, and mathematics.

I guess this whole experience was a blessing, save for the minor anxiety that solipsism has introduced. It feels almost like I can reconfigure myself from scratch, knowing how small I am. Part of me wants to go back to masturbation and video games, especially in light of how life seems to be 90% coping, but it's probably a waste of consciousness. Might as well try it and appreciate the fact that there is something to do rather than the alternative.

[Anonymous No.18306922]

>>18306088
What do you mean by homophobic? There are the kind who are homophobic because they hate "campy faggots" not your average gay man who doesn't bother anyone and either stays in the closet or doesn't may his sexuality his key identity trait. Then there are the ones (typically religious types) who think every homosexual is an abomination.

I'm gonna guess your friends are the former and the only gay people they see are the intolerable fags. So finding out their likable friend might soften their assumptions... so that'd be a benefit. But would they treat and think of you the same way as before? Probably not, stereotypes don't die overnight. Idk though you know them better than I do. So it's a gamble. Outside of the modern West and ancient Greece most gays probably stayed in the closet their whole life because they knew the gamble wasn't worth it, might not be the case for you though.

[Anonymous No.18306949]

>>18306599
>You're certainly not a unique case.
Maybe not, it does feel like it sometimes. Lack of emotion is said to be a classic sign of depression but when you look at what most depressed (self-assessed anyway) people online talk about, it's often about guilt and anxiety and sadness and not just having no emotions 95% of the time. Surely if this were a common thing more people would be freaking out about it, because it's such an insane change of pace from how a mentally healthy person experiences the world that it's unbelievable to a lot of people, and they don't take you literally when you explain it. But, if you have no strong emotions there's not much impetus to care about it. It's like you're burning in a lake of fire but your nerves are dead so you just stand around and stare at the flames while they lick you. I suppose it's possible therapy could help but it would be a miracle I think

[Anonymous No.18307038]

>>18306949
>But, if you have no strong emotions there's not much impetus to care about it. It's like you're burning in a lake of fire but your nerves are dead so you just stand around and stare at the flames while they lick you. I suppose it's possible therapy could help but it would be a miracle I think
It is an EXTREMELY common syndrome, and it goes to motivation, so people freak out about it all the time (particularly during this COVID crisis, where mental hospital intakes are up by more than 400%).

I mean, your case is unique insomuch as you are unique, but there are countless of books talking about and about treating exactly that sort of problem. People recover from it all the time. It'd be more a miracle if you went into seriously therapy and didn't show some marked recovery.

[Anonymous No.18307044]

>>18306088
More dates?

[Anonymous No.18307069]

>>18306704
So long as you understand what you're experiencing is an identity break that everyone goes through at one point or another, you should be fine. It's all well and good to concentrate on supporting friends and family, but don't feel the need to disconnect from all your art production in order to "grow up". That often leads to a pattern where you start abandoning everything you are, which makes the return trip a longer and more painful process, not unlike the pattern of "hitting bottom" after a drug addiction, where people slowly start to lose everything and everyone around them.

It does seem more common for folks to be experiencing this in their early 20's these days. That maybe a combination of 'rona isolation and legalized weed, coupled with gaps in teenage development due to the disconnected nature of increased social media - lots of theories on the phenomenon in psychology and spiritual circles. Can't really tell ya whether you're experiencing a mid-life crisis early, or a teenage crisis late, as that would vary with history and culture, but it's a stage of development that everyone goes through, sometimes repeatedly. Thus a lot of people are going to view your "epiphanies" as childish, and from their perspective, they may very well be, having been through what you're going through long ago.

If I were to offer any safe advice, it would be to stay close to friends and family as you monitor your rebuilding process - see them in person if at all possible. Can't really give you much more solid advice than that over a Chinese basket weaving platform. Forum posts are just a notch above bursts of Morse code, really, and don't compare to the amount you can convey in person - particularly when a lot of what you need to convey is pre-verbal.

As for Buddhism... Might be better to concentrate on more down to Earth issues than to try to find the silence of your soul at the moment - it's tempting at such stages to lose one's head in the spiritual and philosophical realms, but I refuse to preach for or against it in this medium. Each must find their own path.

[Anonymous No.18307082]

I'm seriously contemplating killing myself. The only reason I haven't already is because of fear, uncertainty, etc. all the things that Hamlet has already said. I have the rope. I know how to tie a noose, I tested it around my neck a bit, after maybe 20 seconds I started to feel faint so it shouldn't take me that long to pass out, and death would soom follow. I'm a useless person. The thought of spending 60 more years on this planet sounds awful. Everything I see in life lately just convinces me more and more that it's not worth living. I just wish I had never been born. Whatever. Call me some whiny bitch or something. Chances are anything you call me I've already called myself that 100 times over.

[Anonymous No.18307115]

>>18307082
I used to want to kill myself a lot and I don't anymore AMA

[Anonymous No.18307118]

>>18297488
>I feel like existence itself is inherently unsatisfactory
Never have I related more to anything anybody has ever said

[Anonymous No.18307123]

>>18307082
No guarantee things will be any better, plenty of guarantee you're going to cause a whole lotta pain for others... Seems like a bad gamble to me.

Or, to put it another way, before the inevitable flood of "just do it!". Do you really have anything better to do than live? Ultimately, you are the only one who can really determine how you feel about life, regardless of what is happening around you. You're in a literature forum, and in literature, pain is fuel. May as well use it. Shit writer? No problem, that's what editors are for.

[Anonymous No.18307130]

>>18303392
>retards taking the bait
this is an old copypasta you fucking nerds

[Anonymous No.18307137]

>>18307082
Adding to this, I tried a couple months ago to kill myself. 3 nights in a row I went down to some train tracks late at night. I tried to fall asleep on the tracks and have a train run me over. I tried drinking, taking several sleeping pills, I was never able to fall asleep though. On the 3rd night a homeless man discovered me and threatened to beat me up so I didn't return and instead went for the rope. My mom discovered it and took it away but I got more and hid it this time.
>>18307115
What changed?

[Anonymous No.18307159]

>>18307137
I basically just blasted the fuck my way through it. My circumstances changed for the better over time and I introspected through my bullshit.

[Anonymous No.18307173]

>>18307137
The world doesn't want you dead for some reason. Either that or you've just discovered the hell of quantum immortality, and you may as well give up on the suicide before you come out with damage and move on with your life.

[Anonymous No.18307175]

>>18307123
>pain is fuel
Fuel for what? All my attempts at literature have been pathetic. People here have told me as much. My attempts at music have been equally pathetic, again confirmed by people here. I have no creativity. Nothing I say or think is worth listening to.

[Anonymous No.18307179]

>>18307175
...and how old are you? Nevermind that this place is basically designed to be a place where people keep other people down and contained.

[Anonymous No.18307184]

>>18307159
Well I'm glad that you feel better now, truly.

[Anonymous No.18307187]

>>18307175
Posters her rag on men greater than them all the time. Take it all lightly.

[Anonymous No.18307190]

>>18307179
I'm 22.
>inb4 wow you are just a little whiny baby you are so young you have all the time in the world to turn your life around just get out there champ

[Anonymous No.18307220]

>>18307190
Seems life isn't going to give you another choice in the matter. Pain is fuel for art of all sorts though, maybe you've yet to find your niche, maybe you need to direct that pain towards something that isn't artistic at all. Only thing for certain is that there's more options than everyone here combined can give you via text messages. Certainly you've better options than just trying to end it, only to find you'll always wake up in whatever reality you didn't do so.

[Anonymous No.18307232]

>>18307184
Thanks. On a /lit/ note, Bukowski changed my life.

[Anonymous No.18307252]

>>18307220
I don't think pain is as much of a fuel as people think it is. Maybe some pain. But too much is just paralyzing. I can barely even summon up the will to get out of bed in the morning. How am I supposed to write the next great American novel? I got War and Peace 3 years ago and I'm still not finished with it.

[Anonymous No.18307261]

>>18307252
Overcome it one day, one hour, one minute at a time, as needed. It's a struggle, to be sure, but that process is what makes us.

[Anonymous No.18307288]

>>18306922
They're the former and I don't care about them being opposed, but I want them to know that I'm not gonna molest them or do weird gay shit
>>18307044
Maybe, I like girls as well but it's harder to get with normal guys that aren't lgbt "community" insanos

[Anonymous No.18307330]

>>18307261
I don't feel like I'm being made into anything except a hollow shell of what was once a human being.

[Anonymous No.18307387]

>>18307288
I'm the first guy you replied to - they'll still probably think of you differently but if you don't care and that's your main reason then sure, makes sense. But to your second reply - I doubt you'll ever connect with a woman the same way you will with one of your bros. Women are your mates, but men are true intellectual companions. If I was single and bi my I'd choose my close guy friends over going out with women. I'm not giving you advice just saying I see why you'd rather stick with men for now

[Anonymous No.18307393]

new thread. this one is on autosage
>>18307389

[Anonymous No.18307471]

>>18307069
Thanks anon, I think I needed that.

[Anonymous No.18307518]

>>18307082
I'm not sure how much this will help, but someone once told me during a dissociative episode that I try to put too much weight on my shoulders. Maybe we're alike in that way, and the things that you feel to define you as a failure are just things you need to try and let go. At this stage if you are planning suicide my gut impulse is that you should check yourself in somewhere until these thoughts subside, take it easy and build yourself back up from there. I hoped this help. I wish I could share your pain so you wouldn't have to bear it alone.

[Anonymous No.18307555]

If anyone pays for critical thinking, they had none in the first place.

[Anonymous No.18307573]

>>18307518
>check yourself in somewhere
I live in America so in all likelihood that would end with me getting slapped with a medical bill for thousands or even tens of thousands of dollars even if I stayed there for one night. I don't think that would make me feel better.

[Anonymous No.18307583]

Lately, I've been feeling insecure about my penis.

The idea of masculinity and the idea of it all revolve around the penis. At least in modern times, which is why so much talk about the penis is done from men and women when talking about a man.

Yet my penis is barely 4 inches in both girth and length.

I've talked to my therapist and other friends and woman about this and it always ends up revolving around a woman. "You don't need a penis, just eat them out!", "women don't care!"

But these answered do not satisfy me. They do not console my dread and hate, after all, I don't put in much stock on the ideas of others. So why do I keep caring if apparently others don't?

Are they lying? Yes. In terms of evolution, anthropology, and psychology, a small penis will always be seen as lesser in comparison of a bigger one.

So what is it that is bothering me? It is my own opinion. I cannot have a bigger penis, and that is final. That is depressing to me. I work hard to get money, I workout and eat right to be fit, I read a lot to gain knowledge, I have hobbies to meet new people and socialize. But there is nothing I can do to ever change the fact that I am always going to be lesser of a man, because of my penis.

To know that the majority of men is bigger than me is humiliating. To know that the sight of my penis causes people to think lesser of me is frustrating. I never every man around me as I would give up everything to just be a man.

I look at leaks of men's nudes, and when it turns out they're big, it only becomes positive press for them. If they're small, it's only humiliation forever.

I cannot be happy with what I have, it is not possible. I am faced with the knowledge that I am birthed as a defect.

[Anonymous No.18307697]

>>18307583
This is a very gynocentric mindset. Dick size should not matter to a man, unless he's a flaming homosexual. You like men with big penises huh?

[Anonymous No.18307750]

>>18307583
As an owner of a pretty big dick (bragging on the internet, I know), I can tell you to not believe the bullshit when girls say that size doesn't matter.
Being on the opposite end from you I have been privy to pretty vicious gossip about the size of ex-boyfriends and whatnot. Women try to present an image of being 'size-neutral' but then their brain melts in the presence of one that meets their standards, and they have nothing but contempt for the small.

The good news, I guess, is that while women will never stop caring about size, it becomes just one of the many other things they have to consider.
You will probably meet women, if you are brave enough, who are willing to overlook it, but don't mistake overlooking something for liking it. But don't let it stop you from trying either. There is so much more to life than dick size and the approval of women lol. You said as much that this is something you can't change, the best you can do for yourself right now is to stop fixating on it, it achieves nothing but harming other parts of you life that should really be unconnected.
Letting women make you feel bad is about anything is way gayer than having a small dick lol.

[Anonymous No.18307790]

>>18307697
Dick size should absolutely matter to a man. Do he is a man himself, and a major proponent of a man his masculinity is from his penis, as that is what differentiates himself from man and woman.
>You like men with big penises
I like the idea of a man and all the proponents that make him a man.

You care for the aesthetics of a man, otherwise you'd be obese! You care for the social compitence of a man, otherwise you'd be friendless and alone! You care for the grooming of a man, otherwise you'd be unkempt and smelly! You care for the size of a mans genitals, as that is where the value and masculinity lies.

I aim to please myself in the aesthetics and achieve masculinity. I cannot if I have a small penis, as that ruins the image of a man.
>>18307750
Yes I know, I'm not born yesterday. I know the social reception of a small penis. It's obvious to anyone, and even scientifically proven that women have a disdain for small penises.
>You will probably meet women, if you are brave enough
There is nothing brave about talking to a woman, that is generic social interaction. Is talking to woman a special occasion for you?
>But don't let it stop you from trying either.
It's not stopping me from anything. I have achieved everything I wanted and finished all the tasks "Reddit tier" advice is constantly given.
>There is so much more to life than dick size
No there is not, especially to a man.
>the best you can do for yourself right now is to stop fixating on it
Fuck off, that doesn't fix anything.
>gayer
You fear being called gay? Either way, it doesn't matter. There is nothing more damaging to a man than to have a small penis. It is his entire identity. But perhaps you only speak as so because you can't relate?

[Anonymous No.18307797]

>>18307790
Lol, getting so defensive from people trying give friendly advice. Small dick problems I guess. KYS midgecock.

[Anonymous No.18307806]

>>18307790
The only penis size that matters is the one in your heart. You are forever a small dicked soul. A true devotee of Eros would not think about this at all

[Anonymous No.18307845]

>>18307797
Defensive from what? Answering you comment? Do you assume all replies come in the from if ill-will or malice?
>KYS midgecock
Hmm, your logic has had a moment of hypocrisy. You send advice, but not make fun? Why? What about all the other men with small penises? Do you give them advice, secretly wishing them harm? For what purpose was the advice then? Perhaps to have to image of a charitable and tolerant man, only to be two-faced in the end?
>>18307806
Stop being superstitious. Nobody walks around with X-rays. Nobody can see your "inner-beauty", that's just a lie propagated to make you feel better about yourself. It doesn't work like that. A single day in any job of public relations will teach you that.
>A true devotee of Eros would not think about this at all
And then what? That doesn't negate the fact that with a small penis, you cannot achieve the image of masculinity or it's negative social reception. Do you wish to be willfully ignorant in the facts rather than face them head on, even if you don't like the answer?

[Anonymous No.18307941]

>>18307845
I mean what I said. You have a small dicked soul. Even if Alcibiades had a 3 incher, he had a bigger dick than any modern pornstar. This is the true meaning of manliness and virility, you wouldn't get it

[Anonymous No.18308046]

>>18307941
Sure, yet I have the compitence to put on a smile and be present and agreeable with people in real life. The metaphorical soul is now hidden. What of it then?
>Alcibiades
No modern man will meet the grandure of him. There is no point in comparing yourself to someone of that stature.
>This is the true meaning of manliness and virility
The soul? Of course not. We live in a atheistic world now. Get with the times old, everything is now to appease materialism.

[Anonymous No.18308066]

>>18308046
You're peasant minded and it shouldn't be any wonder you aren't respected as a man. I bet you're an alpinid

[Anonymous No.18308114]

>>18308066
>aren't respected as a man.
That's not true. Not in a social setting anyways. At this point, you're reaching for ad-hominems, which is not a very good way to structure your arguments.
>You're peasant minded
Expand on this.
>I bet you're an alpinid
Sure? What of it? Let us say being an alpinid is indeed worse than having a small penis and being peasant-minded, what happens to your idea of soul? Can the soul not make up for it? Are you inferring that the soul is something that is suddenly in the background when faced with such a condition?

[Anonymous No.18308126]

>>18308114
If you're interested in the hierarchy of your deficiency, I would say that your cowardly and petty soul has produced your peasant mindset, and this is why you can't overcome being a small dicked alpinid

[Anonymous No.18308145]

>>18308126
>more ad-hominems
Please expand and stop avoiding questions. For what purpose are they of this conversation? We aren't in a middle-school diss battle. We can structure our points reasonably.

[Anonymous No.18308241]

>>18308145
If you can't read between the lines I'm implying that you're too materially fixated and it reduces your staying power in the world, where a man with a stronger will and character could overcome the same problems that you have with yourself, and lead a better, more affirming life

[Anonymous No.18308293]

>>18308241
>If you can't read between the lines I'm implying that you're too materially fixated and it reduces your staying power in the world
If you cannot state your position clearly with upmost brevity, then perhaps even you don't know what you're arguing for.
>a man with a stronger will and character could overcome the same problems that you have with yourself
Even a man with stronger character cannot overcome having a small penis. It suddenly doesn't grow, and he isn't exempt from judgement and public humiliation and degradation. He is still the same man, and to society, he is still the same freak.
>lead a better, more affirming life
If we are talking literally, I am doing fine. If we are talking metaphorically, spiritually, or even metaphysically, perhaps. But then again, that wont solve the problem at hand. And it will only delude you from the accepted consensus.

Nobody wants a small penis. It's proven time ant time again, even through scientific research, through social acceptance, culture, etc. Changing your way of viewing it won't suddenly cancel out everything.

[Anonymous No.18308334]

>>18308293
U have a small dick and care about society lol