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/lit/ - Literature

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18243520 No.18243520 [Reply] [Original]

>just killed what I thought was some kind of tick that I've never seen before
>google to find out what kind it was
>something called a pseudoscorpion aka book scorpion
>learn that they actually help take care of your books
I'm so sorry book scorpion bro.

>> No.18243526

>it's real

>> No.18243539

Pseudoscorpions are based. And you can even eat them as a snack from time to time

>> No.18243542

pseudoscorps are hella cool
the males set up areas of territory when they're mating and when a female enters his territory he does a little dance and waves his claws in the air and then presents the female with a package of semen
if she like his dance, she picks up the semen and walks away
except that sometimes when the male's dance is rejected he picks his spunk package up again and chases after the female and tries to force her to accept it

wild little dudes

>> No.18243554

>>18243520
I am now itchy and paranoid thanks to this thread. Great job

>> No.18243562
File: 4 KB, 128x128, CA7510AB-19FC-467D-9478-04580E184BF3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18243562

>>18243539
>NOOOO DONT EAT THE HECKIN PSEUDOSCORPIAN NOT THE FLIPPIN BOOK BUDDY
I don’t get why everyone here seems to love them, they’re fucking annoying. My old one “accidentally” made a huge tear in my copy of ij

>> No.18243585

I thought lit hated pseuds

>> No.18243589

>>18243562
>I don’t get why everyone here seems to love them
They are cool. What is your problem, you fucking autist?

>> No.18243598

>>18243542
why doesn't he just use the drones to deliver his package?

>> No.18243706

>>18243542
maximum kek, based pseudobros

>> No.18244708

>>18243585
Kek

>> No.18244781

How Book Scorpions Tend to Your Dusty Tomes
Book scorpions are the best/worst thing to happen to books, because book scorpions! But also book scorpions...

>> No.18244786

>>18244781
kek. Such clarity and precision of prose.

>> No.18244791

Once a female has been lured into the arena, the male will begin his glorious courtship dance, vibrating his body rapidly and showing off his pedipalps by waving them around in what we can only assume to be a seductive manner, all in an effort to prove that he is worthy and capable of creating strong and healthy offspring with this fine lady in front of him. And oh great, she's interested! Time to commence the forepl--

Nope. Nope. These are arachnids. And what's the arachnid version of foreplay for our lucky male book scorpion?

He dumps a sac full of sperm on the ground.

And it gets worse, because then he pushes the female down into his sac full of sperm on the ground.

>> No.18244806

Bros I've been killing them. Are my books fucked now?

>> No.18244923

>>18244806
Be proud you euthanized a bunch of rapists

>> No.18244935

>>18244791
Is this real or are you making it up

>> No.18244970

>>18243520
If you see one odds are there are a few you aren’t seeing.

>> No.18244990

>>18244935
Science mag.

>> No.18245017

>culled too many of my book scorpions
>my book mouse population is dropping dramatically as their prey is thinning
>most of my book rattlesnakes haven't fed in months and are getting noticeably lethargic
It's over, boys

>> No.18245088

>>18243520
I only buy books so my pseudoscorpeon have a place to live i don't actually read

>> No.18245478
File: 73 KB, 800x750, 1577220685850.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18245478

>>18243585

>> No.18245627
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18245627

>>18243520
>pseudoscorpion
THE FORBIDDEN ALBUM BANNEDANDVANNED

>> No.18245628

>>18245017
Don't let your book gorilla die if you have one, there's shelters that will take them.

also kek

>> No.18245733

>>18244781
book scorpions?

>> No.18245747

>bookman kills bookscorp

>> No.18246397
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18246397

>attempt to reseach pseudoscorpions on the internet
>suddenly the police show up at my door

>> No.18246753

>>18243562
bro, you can eat things while also thinking they are cool.

>> No.18246759

>>18243585
lit loves psueds

>> No.18246764

>>18243520
YOU GUYS EVER LISTEN TO THAT ALBUM?

>> No.18246767

>>18243542
Bros why do femoids always have such shit taste? No woman I ever met had a good taste when it comes to dancing.

>> No.18246784
File: 892 KB, 400x225, abandon.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18246784

>> No.18246812
File: 65 KB, 624x624, FDD98372-24E9-4CBF-A073-F7D843DD5766.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18246812

> Chelifer cancroides is the species most commonly found in homes, where they are often observed in rooms with dusty books. There the tiny animals (2.5–4.5 mm or 0.10–0.18 in) can find their food like booklice and house dust mites.

Wild that books create their own little ecosystems.

>> No.18246828

>>18243520
literally most /lit/ animal

>> No.18247175

>>18244791
The first incels.

>> No.18247235

wtf I love pseuds now

>> No.18247266

>>18245017
Once your bookmice and booksnakes go, your bookbirds and bookcats are next to go. You are fucked now.

>> No.18247283

>>18244791
>sinking to this level if humiliating yourself for some femoid
more like simpscorpions

>> No.18247304

>>18246812
I used to see silverfish a lot in my grandfather's dusty ancient books in the attic.

>> No.18247329

>>18243520
> Google it
> "arachnid"
Nope, sorry buddy, I know you were trying to help, but all spiders belong in the oven.

>> No.18247334

Any pests I can buy to kill roaches?

>> No.18247363

>>18247329
Arachnophobic bigotry has no place here

>> No.18247369

Kafkaesque thread

>> No.18247509
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18247509

>>18243520
>Not starting the thread with a picture of the subject
>Posts his disgusting blowjack again
And nobody else posts a pic either? Wtf people?

>> No.18247523

>>18247509
kys tranny

>> No.18247535
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18247535

>>18243585

>> No.18247547

>>18247363
Spider apologists also get the wall.

>> No.18247663

>>18243542
literally me

>> No.18247683
File: 640 KB, 1365x1365, pseudoscorpion20-2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18247683

>>18243520
disgusting
I hate bugs, they are all gross

>> No.18247702

>>18247509
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID TRANNY

>> No.18247713
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18247713

>>18247683
They’re just alien to us

>> No.18247739 [SPOILER] 
File: 61 KB, 860x516, 1621099115651.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18247739

>>18247683
Bees are cute.

>> No.18247775
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18247775

>>18243520
>that time you found a big spider in your room and couldn't sleep afterwards

>> No.18247798

>>18247775
The fuck are you doing even attempting to sleep after seeing one and not killing it? If I have to move all my furniture out of the room to find it at 01h00am, I'm fucking doing it.

>> No.18247807
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18247807

>>18247739
so fuzzy...

>> No.18247814

>>18247798
I forgot to mention I did kill it but I'm always paranoid that there's more lurking somewhere

>> No.18247824
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18247824

>>18247739
You WILL dump your boyfriend for a bug

>> No.18247826

>>18243585
One learns to love you guys.

>> No.18247832
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18247832

>>18247739
>It is over
>You said this beehive would never fall while your bees defend it, they still defend it!
>what can a bee do against such size?

>> No.18247841
File: 2.72 MB, 480x260, 1564610508291.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18247841

>>18247832
>Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath. Now for ruin. And the red honey!

>> No.18247849

>>18247775
I found a big dead centipede in the bungalow bedroom once when I was on vacation

>> No.18247855

>book rat peed on the carpet again
why do I even keep these things

>> No.18247864

>>18247832
>>18247841
Based webms

>> No.18247873

>>18247824
that movie is wild

>> No.18247892
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18247892

>>18247807
Also,
> that tongue

>> No.18248959

>pseuds
>incels
>hate ereaders
>claws
>cum packages

Extensively based.

>> No.18249221

>>18243542
I thought you called them pseudoscorps because they only infest a pseuds bookshelf after the books haven't been touched in ages. It's literally their name though.

>> No.18249307

>>18248959
>mom found the pseud cum packages

>> No.18249454

>>18243562
>My old one “accidentally” made a huge tear in my copy of ij
Man, I'm just learning about these guys and I'm already in love!

>> No.18249485

>>18247509
Not posting a picture makes it better because if you don't know what a pseudoscorpion is, you can't tell if OP is bullshitting or not. A lot of people wouldn't open a thread about some scary looking insect.

>> No.18249515

>>18249485
Why anyone opens blowjack threads is beyond me

>> No.18249839

>>18249221
>pseudoscorps because they only infest a pseuds bookshelf
KEK

>> No.18249870

>>18247841
That was so fucking metal.

>> No.18250022
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18250022

How does one attract pseudoscorpions? Have good tasteheh?

>> No.18250175
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18250175

>>18247739
They are. It actually brightens my day a little to see them buzzing around the bushes and flowers outside. It's fitting that an insect that has given us honey and aid in agriculture over thousands of years also appeals to our sensibilities well, it's like we were meant to bee together

>> No.18250183
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18250183

>relying on unreliable bugs to clean your books instead of just buying a bookwasher
Ishygddt

>> No.18250225

>>18247841
They will literally cook this fucker alive and die doing it

>> No.18250233

>>18247798
>>18247814
That spider did absolutely nothing wrong you violent cretins

>> No.18250247

>>18247739
they are, but i love bumblebees

>> No.18250459

>>18246764
I listened to the entire thing while working at an office.

>> No.18250469

>>18243542
>HOW CAN SHE SLAP

>> No.18251563

What is even going on in this thread.

>> No.18251602
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18251602

>>18243585

>> No.18251627

Thank you based pseudoscorpion

>> No.18251708

>pseudoscorpion shill thread

Pseudoscorpionfags are the worst

>> No.18252928
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18252928

>>18247739
based

>> No.18253570

>>18243520
>pseudoscorpion
MOOOOODS!

>> No.18253637

>>18250022
Have shit taste lmao

>> No.18253673

>>18247798
>he kills the spiders that keep the insect population in his house under control
ungrateful bastard

>> No.18254161

you sick fucks ffs gb2 /mu/ your dead board