/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.1824330]

http://www.cheatingtranslators.com/bad-translator

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

...56 translations later we get:

"A good opportunity to think."

[Anonymous No.1824332]

"You are a massive faggot"

...40 translations later we get:

"This project, like fire"

[Anonymous No.1824338]

"He's like a drug for you, Bella"

...40 translations later we get:

"White matter"

[Anonymous No.1824344]

"Mr. Jones, of the manor farm, had locked the hen-houses for the night, but was too drunk to remember to shut the peepholes".

56 translations...

"Jones is not Bush in jail, but the farmers, good start, do not forget the cell cycle."

[Anonymous No.1824346]

''Sucker of massive cocks''

...40 translations later we get:

''OP''

[Anonymous No.1824348]

"The criminal is the creative artist; the detective only the critic."

...56 translations later we get:

"Reidazugemu that."

Yeah, reidazugemu that, faggots!

[Anonymous No.1824347]

after 56 translations, "Jesus wept." becomes "Jesus cried."

just another demonstration of the infallibility of the Holy Bible.

[Anonymous No.1824355]

"The Sun Also Rises"

...56 translations later we get:

"It should be noted."

It really should.

[Anonymous No.1824363]

"Five hundred years ago, and more, there was in France an old mad King whose wife was a German harlot, mocking him."

...56 translations later we get:

"France, the former king crazy, Prostitutes, women in Germany 500 years, "he said with a smile."

[Anonymous No.1824367]

''This tool should not be used.''

40 translations later we get:

''The module is available online''

Not too bad, all things considered.

[Anonymous No.1824374]

I typed in "Tao Lin", it got to Persian where it was translated as "A" and just stopped. Even it wants nothing to do with Tao Lin.

[Laserdisk No.1824383]

" The apparition of these faces in the crowd ; Petals on a wet, black bough."

...56 translations later we get:

""Official Gazette" of Western society, black"

I don't even know.

[Anonymous No.1824392]

"I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix..."

...56 translations later we get:

"This is the most brilliant mind in baratoi 'RE first Tuesday, but decided to watch the destruction of black anger, I want to eat ..."

[Anonymous No.1824399]

"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice."

...56 translations later we get:

"His father, an ice cream business for many years after his party Tuesday aureryanobuendia fiancée after he was killed."

[Anonymous No.1824401]

"Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe?"

...56 translations later we get:

"Virginia Woolf, who feared no one."

She had an doppleganger from another dimension.

[Anonymous No.1824405]

The genteel conduct of the woman was quite incongruous; merely a street urchin

40 translations later

Women's arrogant behavior of street children is difficult.

[Anonymous No.1824420]

Original text:

"He who attempts to penetrate into the Rose Garden of the Philosophers without the key resembles a man who would walk without feet."

...56 translations later we get:

"Sex is very important to many people on the hill."

-I *knew* it was all about sex!

[Anonymous No.1824423]

Now he saw far ahead and on the right a glow that no clouds could account for, and he knew he was not alone in the silence of that dead city.

...56 translations later we get:

Can I hold her face, and not paying'm dead.

[Anonymous No.1824425]

Original text:

"All mass is interaction"

...56 translations later we get:

"Medical Office."

Well that just makes perfect sense.

[Anonymous No.1824428]

>>1824425

From a similar starting point:

Original text:

"Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts."

...56 translations later we get:

"Religious education in ignorance."

[Anonymous No.1824429]

"To be or not to be? That is the question."

...56 translations later we get:

"New? This is a problem."

[Anonymous No.1824435]

No pain, no gain.

...56 translations later we get:

Playing in pain.

... huh ...

[Anonymous No.1824443]

"For in Paris, whenever God puts a pretty woman there (the streets), the Devil, in reply, immediately puts a fool to keep her."

...56 translations later we get:

"Paris, France, and Allah (sa), Mark said."

Damed Muslims taking over Europe.

[Ted, a high school senior !!FLVqQBEAMuY No.1824449]

"for the future of the country and the world of the living room and dining room with a view to the sea and the mountains of the world and the world of the living room and dining room with a view to the sea and the mountains of the world and the world"

...56 translations later we get:

"Hello, tomorrow, a mountain in the world outside the restaurant world attention to the relationship between the mountains and the sea Nautical World."

>still doesn't make any sense

[Anonymous No.1824452]

just a simple one

He wept
56 translations later
Foliage.
>mfw

[Anonymous No.1824466]

It would be interesting to go through and analyze the process each of these took- for instance, I just punched in the first sentence of today's featured Wikipedia article, and ran it through the 56 option.

Input:

Today's featured article
Casino Royale is the 21st film in the James Bond film series and the first to star Daniel Craig as MI6 agent James Bond.

Output:

"詹姆斯邦 problem - is now a member of a casino, two radio Stations Broadcast storm Navin 尔克约丹 first flight of the film musical Instruments."

"Casino" and "film" stayed constant, which suggests to me that they're probably very heavily cognated (is that a word?) across languages. I can't be assed and anyway don't have the linguistic background to do it, but it would be interesting if someone did.

[Anonymous No.1824565]

"Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed."

...56 translations later we get:

"Bokemuli joy and happiness of the first World Cup bubble glass."

[Anonymous No.1824573]

>>1824565
Here's the full first few sentences of Ulysses:

Bokemuli joy and happiness of the first World Cup bubble glass. Breakfast place in the Polls ungirdled yellow:
-- Introibo ad altare Dei.
Yes, coke, banadinegongsedm!
-Oogporaehgr!
Hill to play in the nice weather and the danger now.

[Anonymous No.1824576]

"Pretty sure machine translators are excellent and totally infallible. "

...56 translations later we get:

"Good health is very simple."

[Anonymous No.1824577]

"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

...56 translations later we get:

"See Monster. If you have time on the water."

[Anonymous No.1824579]

>>1824573
>yfw you realize this is how Finnegan's Wake was created

[Anonymous No.1824581]

"The sky at sunset is so lovely."

...56 translations later we get:

"Beautiful blue."

wtf.

[Anonymous No.1824590]

"Ineluctable modality of the visible: at least that if no more, thought through my eyes. Signatures of all things I am here to read, seaspawn and seawrack, the nearing tide, that rusty boot." (Ulysses, start of chapter 3)

...56 translations later we get:

"The lack of punishment. If you do not have so many problems, but I could not believe his eyes. I believe that customers started Attacking Aircraft."

[Anonymous No.1824593]

"Dick sauce."

...56 translations later we get:

"Ketchup"

[Anonymous No.1824597]

From Whitman:

"None but would subordinate you, I only am he who will never consent to subordinate you, I only am he who places over you no master, owner, better, god, beyond what waits intrinsically in yourself. "

...56 translations later we get:

"If you decide to rent a hotel, but why not wait, God is."

[Anonymous No.1824603]

"Take me now, moot."

...56 translations later we get:

"Here, in fact."

I love it.

[Anonymous No.1824629]

Trying with a single word: 'horse'
It's stopped at Japanese for some reason: 'the'

[Anonymous No.1824640]

Slide and release the power switch to wake
>becomes:
Click on Renewable Energy.

When they eventually make a solar-rechargeable Kindle, that'd be somewhat appropriate.

[Anonymous No.1824643]

A spectre is haunting Europe -- the spectre of communism. All the powers of old Europe have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Pope and Tsar, Metternich and Guizot, French Radicals and German police-spies.

became:

"Among the former kommunists - in Europe, frequency stable, metternitsh, Bad King, papa goyzot, French and German, the ethics of the European Union, the Provisions in the ancient world."

[Anonymous No.1824644]

>>1824640
That works as a slogan! Translator wins.

[Anonymous No.1824663]

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the simple, misinformed, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of thorns."

...20 translations later we get:

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, and the priest said simply magnificent winged six angels jealous. Watch this taco in a bowl."

[Anonymous No.1824664]

"U MAD"

...56 translations later we get:

"It"

[Anonymous No.1824666]

"Q: Are We Not Men? "

...40 translations later we get:

"Q: Who are these people?"


--

"A: We are Devo!"

...40 translations later we get:

"? Shop by"

[Anonymous No.1824671]

"There is but one thing that haunts us: and that is fear. It stalks us silently in the night, in the day, through the forests, through the deserts, through the places we once considered safe. Fear, my friend, is what shall destroy us"

...56 translations later we get:

"Children of the desert, night, quiet Forests, bang, bang, very reliable friend, I can find the killer."

[Anonymous No.1824670]

On the plus side, the Afrikaans translation always seems to be spot-on! I guess that's bad news for professional English-Afrikaans translators...

[Anonymous No.1824674]

"PUDDI"

...56 translations later we get:

"Bark"

[Anonymous No.1824690]

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was
upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon

became

Originalli, God created the heaven pain buy air and water.
the face of the waters.

Became:

[Anonymous No.1824693]

It was love at first sight.
As soon as Yossarian saw the chaplain he fell madly in love with him.

56 later

Love yossaryan first use.

Not the best...

[Anonymous No.1824701]

Original text:

"The Catcher in the Rye "

...56 translations later we get:

"Conclusion of the game."

[Anonymous No.1824723]

>>1824701

[Anonymous No.1824733]

"The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain."

...56 translations later we get:

"Rain Falls Most in Spain"

[Anonymous No.1824737]

Bonzo, he so precise, he piss on a plate and never splash.

56

Funny story to clear urine.

[Anonymous No.1824744]

"Crime and punishment"

56 translations later...

"Crime and punishment"

I guess Dostoevhevsky is universal!

[Anonymous No.1824748]

"Light of my life, fire of my loins."
...56 translations later we get:
"I beam."

"Indubitably"
...56 translations later we get:
"It sure"

"OF Mans First Disobedience, and the Fruit
Of that Forbidden Tree, whose mortal tast
Brought Death into the World, and all our woe,"
...56 translations later we get:
"This is the first month of death worldwide, unlike the results of Perry."

"SHE walks in beauty, like the night Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that 's best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes:"
...56 translations later we get:
"The course is a very dark eyes were dead."

[Anonymous No.1824747]

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

...50 translations later we get:

Gardens of the night, and sounds like a lot of joy and communication ESA room was tired and weak, grateful for success, do not forget to click on the sudden decision. I Zašomrala. "And he said:" People knock on the door - and only.


Does /lit/ want to translate the whole work?

[Anonymous No.1824751]

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap

becomes:

I am the father of the country, poor children first big pig Stressful kebofeyer said David.

A massive improvement on Salinger's tedious crap.

[Anonymous No.1824753]

Call me Ishmael = I ishumaerukoru

[Anonymous No.1824763]

>>1824429
"To be, or not to be, that is the question:"

...56 translations later we get:

"I know I said it."

[Anonymous No.1824780]

"I have completed the construction of my burrow and it seems to be successful."

...56 translations later we get:

"I can not build a house"

Finally an analysis of Kafka I can agree with.

[Anonymous No.1824787]

"The Penis Was"

...56 translations later we get:

"March"

[Anonymous No.1824798]

"Vaughan died yesterday in his last car-crash."

translated x56

"Several years ago the car was hit by iPhone."

[Anonymous No.1824801]

From :
"It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me."
To:
"Published 81 Hours gentle on the bed."

[Anonymous No.1824805]

>>1824801
a pretty faithful translation, except for completely ignoring the archbishop.

[Anonymous No.1824804]

>>1824801
>It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite

[Anonymous No.1824811]

"Happy is the man who can make a living by his hobby"

56 translations later we get

"Forum first, and so on."

hmmm....

[Anonymous No.1824812]

>from THE NAPOLEON OF NOTTING HILL by GK CHESTERTON
"The human race, to which so many of my readers belong, has been playing at children's games from the beginning, and will probably do it till the end, which is a nuisance for the few people who grow up."
to
"People like to read this in March children can be difficult in the first half."

[Anonymous No.1824813]

"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show."

...56 translations later we get:

"One of the sites in Rome - a hero in life, or CD - Ram."

[Anonymous No.1824814]

She lifted her face to him, and he bent forward and kissed her on the mouth, gently, with the one kiss that is an eternal pledge. And as he kissed her his heart strained again in his breast. He never intended to love her. But now it was over. He had crossed over the gulf to her, and all that he had left behind had shrivelled and become void.

The Horse Dealer's Daughter
...40 translations later we get:

My mouth, I'm loyal to the soft light of oral tolerance, I see. Heart and nervous system and heart. Now she loves. But most of them. This vacuum is dry and all the comments.

[Anonymous No.1824815]

"It was all love on my side, and all good comradeship and friendship on hers. When we parted she was a free woman, but I could never again be a free man."

The Adventure of Abbey Grange by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
...56 translations later we get:

"I love you, and I am an independent woman voojeongip soneitda time. But I can not open."


This translator is so profound.

[Anonymous No.1824816]

I love you

56 translates

Our Jimmy

[Anonymous No.1824818]

His hobby, collecting postmarks, got out of hand.

...50 translates later

UA printing system

[Anonymous No.1825486]

"Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this sun of York."

40 translations later...

Currently, New York, summer, winter, spring dissatisfaction.

[Anonymous No.1825491]

"I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different."

...20 translations later we get:

"Let me tell you that we are not at Purdue University say others."

[Anonymous No.1825494]

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure dome decree

30 later:

Kublai Khan, the decision out of the liver

[Anonymous No.1825505]

"If you want to preserve your power indefinitely, you must get the consent of the ruled."

...56 translations later we get:

"This means, the control of the country."

[Anonymous No.1825518]

"A witty statement proves nothing"

...56 translations later we get:

"Environment"

WHAT

[Anonymous No.1825522]

"...56 translations later we get:"

...56 translations later we get:

"... And years later, in 1956, to begin."

lol'd

[Anonymous No.1825525]

The most important lesson of history is that no one ever learns history's lessons.

56

The main function of history, make sure you know everything to learn.

Pretty damn good.

[Anonymous No.1825527]

"An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't work today"

...56 translations later we get:

"The next day, the economy, and Analysts predict that no matter what."

[FM No.1825529]

"In a village of La Mancha, the name of which I cannot quite recall, there lived not long ago one of those country gentlemen or hidalgos who keep a lance in a rack, an ancient leather shield, a scrawny hack and a greyhound for coursing."

...56 translations later we get:

"I am in the forum or in movies country hidalgo, I see clearly support the proposed audit."

[Anonymous No.1825531]

'john watched and masturbated while i pooped'

56 translations

'orgasm with his president'

[Anonymous No.1825534]

"Soulja boy off on this hoe watch me crank that watch me roll watch me crank that Soulja boy then super man that hoe"

56 later

"In the time I noticed that children are children, young vilbreken Geek"

LOL

[Anonymous No.1825540]

"No John, you are the demons! And then John was a zombie"

After 56 translations ...

"And John kunpooodtoou! Lo, John."

WTF