/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.18194643]

>1000 word essay due Monday

[Anonymous No.18194651]

>>18194643
>100 word report on where I took the class teddy bear due Monday

[Anonymous No.18194657]

>>18194643
Holy fuck!

Good luck!

[Anonymous No.18194666]

>>18194643
I wrote an entire 15,000 word dissertation in 24 hours and got a 1st for it. You'll be fine.

[Anonymous No.18194684]

>>18194643
>babies second semester

[Anonymous No.18194699]

>>18194643
>50 word email due in 10 days

[Anonymous No.18194737]

>>18194643
5 word letter due in 100 days

[Anonymous No.18194752]

>1 word text message due whenever I feel like it

[Anonymous No.18194756]

>>18194643
this is what like 2-3 pages? and you have 3 days? are you fucking retarded? thats not difficult

[Anonymous No.18194759]

>>18194756
welcome to 4chan newfag

[Anonymous No.18194801]

>>18194756
The 1000 words excludes footnotes and bibliography. Do you have any tips?

[Anonymous No.18194812]

>>18194801
Tips on what? Who the fuck struggles with 1000 words on any topic? You should be severly restricted by only having 1000 words IMO

[Anonymous No.18194820]

>>18194643
Einstein's thesis on special relativity was 6 pages

[Anonymous No.18194834]

750 word op-ed is due tuesday, but I need to finish it today so I can focus on my Advanced Tax final.

[Anonymous No.18194843]

>7 slide powerpoint presentation due Monday

[Anonymous No.18194869]

>>18194643
I do not even understand the purpose of education. If something is really important I can teach it to myself. I do not need to sit in a room with some fat fuck who mouths off all the time and an autismo with the brain of a potato.

[Anonymous No.18194875]

>>18194869
NO NO NO YOU NEED THE PIECE OF PAPER FAGGOT

[Anonymous No.18194876]

>>18194643
Buddy. It's an hour's work. You did learn what you needed to say stuff off the cuff right?

[Anonymous No.18194881]

>>18194869
if there are people who are way smarter than you, then its good to be educated by a master.

[Anonymous No.18194904]

>>18194643
1000 words?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?
That's just tooooo much, OP!
Just offer your boypussy to the teach, maybe he'll give you a 6 week extention if you let him stretch you by 6 inches. That's how academia works.

[Anonymous No.18194906]

never got people who judge an essay by word count. Like a 1,000 word essay can take anywhere from 2 to 10 hours depending on what type of essay it is.

[Anonymous No.18194918]

>>18194869
It's more efficient really. You can get a quick idea as to the relevant factors in play, and the various ways to approach the problem in a single lesson. Otherwise your only way is to dive into a pool of foreign material. A teacher can provide you with the tools necessary to deal with the actual sources more efficiently.

[Anonymous No.18194934]

>>18194643
LOL that's literally an hour of work you fucking retard hahahahahahahahahahahajahahahahahahah

[Anonymous No.18194947]

OP here. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TOPIC SENTENCES TO USE FOR MY FIVE PARAGRAPH ESSAY HELP

[Anonymous No.18194962]

>>18194947
>introduction
>the facts
>issues raised
>conclusion
This never fails me

[Anonymous No.18194973]

>>18194947
REMEMBER SEA
S-statement
E-evidence
A-analysis

I'd also add MEN
M-masturbatory exposition of how smart you are by vainly namedropping random Philosophers and economists
E-Enrage the depressed TA marking your paper by writing like a schizophrenic and jumbling your sentence structure around to the point where it's entirely illegible.
N-drop the N bomb mid-sentence: "through extended periods of recession NIGGERS we see a retraction..."

NEVER FORGET SEMEN

[Anonymous No.18194975]

>>18194947
what are the topics?

[Anonymous No.18194981]

>>18194666
satan is the king of liars

[Anonymous No.18194990]

>>18194643
>0 words diary due to never

I WILL KILL MYSELFFFFFFFFF

[Anonymous No.18194991]

>>18194973
fucking kek
I think OP has some experience with semen desu

[Anonymous No.18195013]

>make your first tweet
>no due time
AAAAA

[Anonymous No.18195017]

>>18194973
lol

[Anonymous No.18195036]

>>18194812
>>18194756
>double-bait
Genius

[Anonymous No.18195050]

>>18195036
i am a master of the 4channel dark arts

[Anonymous No.18195181]

>>18194666
satan trips aside, that's impressive. What was it on, Gender theory or some shit?

[Anonymous No.18195212]

>>18195181
anime

[Anonymous No.18195216]

>6 essays, a presentation, an original composition for chamber orchestra and four arrangements for ensembles of varying sizes due by the end of today

[Anonymous No.18195228]

>>18194752
This one is the the worst.

[Anonymous No.18195232]

>>18195216
are you retarded? I could do that in my lunch break whilst slurping my soup as loud as possible, dribbling large amounts down my versace shirt

[Anonymous No.18195270]

>doctorate thesis due in 5 years

[Anonymous No.18195304]

>>18194643
1000 word is like one hour of work and another of editing

[Anonymous No.18195307]

>>18194643
>5 character text due sometime later.

[Anonymous No.18195314]

>>18195212
I too wrote my dissertation on Homer

[Anonymous No.18195344]

>>18194643
You should start a protest at you university for being overworked and unfairly treated.

[Anonymous No.18195643]

>Copy and paste inform about technology due next semester
WHAT FUCK DO I DOOOOOOOOOOO

[Anonymous No.18195925]

>a baby due in 2 months
Cant wait :)

[Anonymous No.18195938]

>>18195925
congrats anon!

[Anonymous No.18195968]

>>18195925
>he didn't take the antinatalistpill

[Anonymous No.18196013]

>>18195968
I know you're half-joking but antinatalism is the most retarded concept ever

[Anonymous No.18196024]

>>18194973
>"through extended periods of recession NIGGERS we see a retraction..."
amazing

[Anonymous No.18196062]

5000 word essay on film noir as an oscillating genre due on Wednesday.

[Anonymous No.18196260]

>>18194752
Just reply "k"

[Anonymous No.18197100]

>3 word message to my gf until tomorrow
holy me bros

[Anonymous No.18197114]

i got talked into writing some kid's 500 word essay the other day but since i was into the topic it ended up being 1000+ words, i hope he doesn't get in trouble for doubling the size lol

[Anonymous No.18197131]

>0 word essay in 8 days
i am graduating

[Anonymous No.18197138]

>>18197131
congrats anon

[Anonymous No.18197150]

>250 word book report due last week

its over for me lads

[Anonymous No.18197155]

>>18197131
is your topic lazyness? otherwise i would be worried

[Anonymous No.18197166]

>>18194759
Only newfriends call people newfriends.

[Anonymous No.18197273]

>>18194651
kek

[Anonymous No.18197279]

bro that is nothing. 500 words a day is my writing average for an essay once its all planned out

[Anonymous No.18197388]

>800 page manuscript due in 2 years.

[Anonymous No.18197510]

>>18194666
>11WPM
Gigabrain stream of consciousness.

[Anonymous No.18197530]

>>18194947
Well what's your thesis?

[Anonymous No.18197602]

Just drink a ton of coffee and take a micro dose of LSD. You'll be fine.

[Anonymous No.18197646]

>>18194666
Impressive. I thought several thousand words a day was a lot.

[Anonymous No.18197739]

>5 flashcards due Monday on the words we learned today

[Anonymous No.18198147]

>>18194643
s a (by default) evil white man, I'm happy to say that there are precisely zero negroes or other undesirables in my works. And they're better off for them. If I wanted to have a stand in I suppose I could write in a fantasy setting and have orcs or troglodytes or something equally hideous and stupid serve that role
Seeing people in this thread clenching their hands in worry about poorly or, more precisely, accurately depicting people of crime is a goddamn shame. I don't know how you have the patience or self loathing to do that, but I hope you at least enjoyed writing the story in the first place.

[Anonymous No.18198815]

>>18194643
>thrallmaster commanded me to hunt and skin 15 piglots before the end of the fortnight

[Anonymous No.18198895]

>haiku due monday
>i have not started it yet
>expelled if i fail

[Anonymous No.18198922]

>2 page essay due Monday
>single spaced
YOU BITCH THATS 4 PAGES!!

[Anonymous No.18198928]

>>18198922
>each page has to be double sided

[Anonymous No.18199576]

>5 page single spaced essay due a week ago
>BS it in 5 hours
>Teacher thinks its the best in the class
the fuck bros

[Anonymous No.18199585]

>>18194699
anti-natalism the gif

[Anonymous No.18199589]

>>18194666
I guess it's possible if you doing some meme degree where you don't need sources.

[Anonymous No.18199669]

>canonical oeuvre due in 50 years

[Anonymous No.18199671]

>>18194643
>30+ pages thesis due the 15th
>Haven't read a single source from my bibliography I collected
kek, will probably take 1,000 mg of caffeine every day and stay awake the entire following week

[Anonymous No.18199709]

>>18195925
Congrats on making a girl preggo

[Anonymous No.18199728]

>0 word suicide note due to never

THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE I WILL KILL MYSELF TOMORROW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.18200123]

>>18199669
Bros...

[Anonymous No.18200147]

>>18197166
Good job I didn't call him a newfriend then.

[Anonymous No.18200157]

>>18199671
I just ctrl+f keywors and spend about 15 minutes collecting quotations from a book, referring to the summary if one's available. I'm on my way to a first and technically haven't read a single book for my degree lol

[Anonymous No.18200210]

>>18194906
Very true, but you'll be ignored in favor of the people trying to make funny jokes or those bitter many who get off at telling OP he is categorically retarded.

[Anonymous No.18200223]

>Stressing about an essay in academia
The entire system is broken, just vomit something onto the page in your best pseud voice and you will get an A+

[Anonymous No.18200225]

>>18200210
>he thinks OP is serious
X due by Y is an ancient /lit/ meme, usually starting off somewhat believable and getting increasingly silly.

[Anonymous No.18200232]

I have a 1500 word essay on the social contract due Monday

[Anonymous No.18200241]

Hardest part of these essays is research, the writing part of it was never hard. If I wanted to draw out a point, just use purple prose lol.

[Anonymous No.18200272]

>10^100 word essay due in 2 seconds
what the f

[Anonymous No.18200275]

>>18200225
You know what, you snarky nigger, I dont care. I know the fucking meme, it isnt rare. But wanna know what's going through my head? It isnt a whole lot of lollipops and candy corn, buddy. It's sincere fucking pain. And whats worse is that its all over transient and meaningless things, yet they hurt nontheless, only exacerbated by how little they matter. Thats a whole lot of hurt, PAL. With all that cooky shit sealed up in me, I oepn this thread, and my instict is to play the game. Spew some shame, or try to be make a haha funny too. And as I was tackinf away like a GOOD LITTLE PRIMATE IN A LAB it hit me like a truck. HEY. What if, in the off chance, this isn't a joke. And some lil homie waltzed up to us looking for some support. Do I wanna be the MONKEY ON THE LADDER of pain, spreading more meanness from inside me onto him like the rest of the MONKEYMEN? Nah my nigga. So I closed the box, and scrolled through. Determinedly. Suredly. Saying nothing. When I spotted that lil guy. That lil guy who, all alone, no (you)s or shoes, saying something sincere, my dear. He wanted to be nice. He wanted to be cool. And what did I decide? Fudge it, ill throw something his way to make him feel a little warmth in his tummy. A warmth I hope to feel one day again. Cause if we all just made a little effort to share a little warmness then life would get better and I wouldn't wanna..........

Oh man, im a cunt.

[Anonymous No.18200283]

>>18200275
Woah, just take it easy man

[Anonymous No.18200297]

>>18199589
That's all degrees, but especially in stem. Your advisors aren't going to check your sources. They may not even read your dissertation at all. Just pick a bunch with titles similar to your research topic and include in-text citations at regular intervals to pretend your paraphrasing. They just need post-doc bodies they don't need to pay in their labs and introductory classes.

[Anonymous No.18200302]

>>18200283
Do NOT tell me calm down. I fucking HATE THAT when some CHILL DUDE BRO who always goes on about vibes and shit gets a small taste of my SHTICK and rather than being HUMAN he goes "shahhhh beeh, lik relaaaax". SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU NIGGER. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. RELAX?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHATS GOING? You sit and you listen, eyes totally vacant, and rather than ENGAGE WITH ME you offer some pre programmed computer like response?! I'm not your FUCKING water tank! IM HUMAN. TALK TO ME LIKE OM HUMAN. PLEASE. IM A MAN. I AM A HUMAN MAN. FOR THE LOVE GOD PLEASE just talk to me like you're human too

[Anonymous No.18200310]

>>18200297
Modern academia operates from a "customer is always right" mindset

[Anonymous No.18200312]

>>18199589
Unless you're in math your degree is just as much of a meme as everything else

[Anonymous No.18200317]

>>18200302

[Anonymous No.18200330]

>Short story due in one week for literary contest
Not even memeing. I'll be fine though.

[Anonymous No.18200339]

>>18200302
>>18200275
Mad.

[Anonymous No.18200344]

>>18200310
Maybe for undergraduates. Pursue anything more advanced, and you're just grist for the academy mill.

[Anonymous No.18200351]

>>18200312
Graduate work in math is some of the worst writing out there. I get that the math is what's important, but that doesn't mean these documents are any less a meme.

[Anonymous No.18200414]

When you guys elongate the word count, how do you do it?

Purple prose? Paraphrasing same points? Digressing with some irrelevant shit?

[Anonymous No.18200486]

>>18194973

[Anonymous No.18200555]

>>18194973
Top kek

[Anonymous No.18200579]

>>18200414
Definitely purple prose. I don't know if that counts against you at certain academic levels but I employ it in spades. It's fun trying to see how much flowery shit you can cram in. Also using the full titles for everything as much as possible without it sounding ESLish. Like Dr. Ambrose Cathage, PhD, Director of the Center for Quaaludes Resynthesis Research at University of Tacoma.

[Anonymous No.18200665]

>>18200275
>>18200302
based solipsist poster

[Anonymous No.18201088]

>>18194643
You should be able to write 1000 words without thinking if you know anything about the topic.

If you can't there is seriously something wrong with you. A normal paper length at university is 5000.

[Anonymous No.18201094]

>>18194643
I'll write it for 50$. But your prof might get sus when its quality so greatly exceeds your usual submissions

[Anonymous No.18201762]

>>18194737
oh god i wish that were my dick

[Anonymous No.18201836]

>>18200232
a bit of help

[Anonymous No.18202056]

>>18194643
I write 9000 word 4chan posts regularly

[Anonymous No.18202063]

>>18195212
Post an excerpt?

[Anonymous No.18202084]

>>18194699
reminds me of gas Station carnivals

[Anonymous No.18202097]

>>18200414
Expanding the theoretical apparatus by a few pages.

[Anonymous No.18202110]

>>18200414
You can get a paragraph outlining other considerations that you have not analysed, and highlight the areas where further research is needed.

[Anonymous No.18203516]

>>18200302
based schitzo