/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.18176030]

What do you think of this poem? I'm keen for any impressions/feedback.

Of the gardens of Adonis, Beatrice, I love
Most of all those fugitive roses
That on the day they are born,
That very day, must also die.
Eternal, for them, the light of day:
They're born when the sun is already high
And die before Apollo's course

Across the visible sky is run.
We too, of our lives, must make one day:
We never know, my Lydia, nor want
To know of nights before or after
The little while that we may last.

[Anonymous No.18176095]

It's fine, reads well enough. Stop larping though. It isn't the 19th century, you aren't dying of tuberculosis; draw from your own life. Do you know of a flower which only blooms for a day?

[Anonymous No.18176106]

>>18176095
Don't be a nigger.

[Anonymous No.18176219]

>>18176030

[Anonymous No.18176227]

>>18176030
Sounds nice, like any other neoclassicist poem. Have you considered writing lyrics for a progressive rock band?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1JjOpXsJ7A

[Anonymous No.18176258]

>>18176095
It isn't meant to reference tuberculosis so much as the transience of life, the roses of Adoni are a reference to Greek Mythology. Thank you for your feedback though, I won't lean on those elements too heavily moving forwards.

[Anonymous No.18176302]

>>18176030
another trad fag moron american that love roses and nature and pre raphaellites and all the kitschy shit

[Anonymous No.18176430]

Writing in this style using rhyme nor metre shows you do not understand the genre, and are probably very lazy

[Anonymous No.18176449]

>>18176095
>>18176227
>>18176302
>>18176430
Absolute retards. OP has posted a famous poem by Fernando Pessoa.

[Anonymous No.18176468]

>>18176449
He also should have stopped larping

[Anonymous No.18176471]

>>18176449
well then pessoa is another trad fag moron american that loves roses and nature and pre raphaellites and all the kitschy shit.

but he was before his time so gotta hand it to him init

[Anonymous No.18176519]

>>18176468
OP or Pessoa, because posting a poem under someone else's name is ironically a very Pessoa-esque thing to do

>>18176471
Oh piss off. People like you are the reason nobody can produce metrical poetry any more, and we're left with Rupi Kaur-tier free verse schlock.

'In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure dome decree'

Just feel the savage beauty of that tetrameter.

[Anonymous No.18176542]

>>18176519
>OP or Pessoa
Both

>People like you are the reason nobody can produce metrical poetry any more
The Pessoa has a bit of musicality but it certainly doesn't follow a set meter

[Anonymous No.18176642]

>>18176468
>>18176471
The absolute cope from these brainlets

[Anonymous No.18176698]

>>18176519
I can write well made fully metrical poetry. The problem is that nobody appreciates it.

[Anonymous No.18176740]

>>18176519
>We never know, my Lydia, nor want
would take r kaur over this forcing into metre business

[Anonymous No.18176828]

>>18176030