/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.18150349]

itt: we write newspaper headlines from the near future

>In an astonishing moment of bilateral cooperation between nations which have thus far viewed each other as ideological and strategic enemies in perpetuity, a grand solution has been reached to eliminate the pressing issues of nuclear proliferation and climate change: at 12:00pm, 12.12.40, the United States and Russia have, in this most unprecented attempt to normalize relations, agreed to simultaneously detonate all nuclear warheads remaining from the days of the Cold War, hereby ridding the world of this erstwhile fearful duality, the spectre of nuclear weapons and climate change. Upon learning of this development, Emperor Xi Jinping called President Barron Trump (who has reportedly described the decision as "based") and the Tsar to extend his gratitude on behalf of some 20 billion Chinese citizens; he was particularly grateful in regards to his project to destroy the remaing spots of the ozone layer through rapid industrialization (since its inception known as the "Raise as the Roof to Space Project"), which he sees indirectly fulfilled by the agreement of the two countries.

[Anonymous No.18150551]

>>18150349

>James Mason announces that he is GFJ in a SHOCKIKG press release

[Anonymous No.18152476]

>Anti-vaccine separatists begin new wave of guerilla operations against the White House as Harris administration deploys reanimated cyborg George S. Patton to take control of holdout militias in the southern United States. Exiled billionaire and outspoken critic Elon Musk has condemned the usage of new reanimation technology, demanding that the government put the practice to a stop until it can be determined whether reanimated individuals possess the necessary consuming habits to stimulate the economy effectively. When questioned about the usage of reanimated soldiers and generals in the conflict with anti-vax militias, GOP majority leader Jeb! Bush had this to say: "It's a testament to the fake news apparatus that so many *twitch* American citizens believe there are nanobots in the *twitch* vaccines *twitch*. I think it's apparent to anyone with a television, anyone with an internet connection, that the real racists are the Democrats. Did you know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican?"