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/lit/ - Literature

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18085561 No.18085561 [Reply] [Original]

>author thanks you for reading his book

>> No.18085573

>I might have read it but I didn't pay for it
so youre very fucking welcome

>> No.18085596

>author asks readers of the second edition preface to please not send him any more letters correcting the Latin grammar of the first edition

>> No.18085613

>>18085573
And this is why all creative people should quit the arts and become lawyers for scummy corps instead. People don't deserve art, they deserve illegible fine print that says the baby milk you just bought will give your kid autism.

>> No.18085616
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18085616

>author apologizes for potentially wasting your time with his book

>> No.18085631

>>18085616
Jesus just how old is Dostoevsky?

>> No.18085695
File: 1.63 MB, 384x296, LENNI VIII.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18085695

>«YOUTUBER» THANKS THE VIEWER FOR WATCHING UNTIL THE END.

>> No.18085717

>author tells you it's okay to laugh in the second edition because people were not sure with the first if it was comedy

>> No.18085822

>>18085561
>author tells you in coded language in the preface to pirate his book because he's slaving to meet his monthly new edition quota and the day he is freed is the day people stop buying

>> No.18085850

>>18085822
>Author tells you on front cover to Steal This Book

>> No.18085860

>>18085850
>Author tells you on front cover to Plant This Book
>Book is a collection of poems written on seed packets

>> No.18085876
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18085876

>author tells you that what he has written is nonsensical and you must transcend beyond it

>> No.18085920
File: 1.29 MB, 498x359, tenorrrrt.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18085920

>thought experiment kills you by you knowing about it

>> No.18085952

>author explains the plot thus far in squiggly lines

>> No.18086000

>>18085561
I always finish audible books even if they are absolute garbage because I love the old man at the end that says in the lowest quality sound file
>audible hopes you have enjoyed this message

>> No.18086111
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18086111

>>18085561
>author thanks you for reading his book
>write "You're welcome" underneath

>> No.18086156
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18086156

>author bashes you for reading his massproduced schlock instead of something good

>> No.18086172

>author praises the translator's sensitivity to the language
>Author is the translator

>> No.18086383
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18086383

>author admits his book is ghostwritten

>> No.18086429

>author does what author does while Anon congratulates OP for making a good thread

>> No.18086498
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18086498

>>18085561
>author prefaces book by telling you that finding it proves you're a rare breed, a great man, a revolutionary thinker who can truly appreciate his ideas

>> No.18086746

>>18086111
oh I'm stealing this one

>> No.18086793

>>18086172
based

>> No.18086829
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18086829

>author dedicates book to his wife
>author stabbed wife in drunken fury shortly after publication

>> No.18086863

>>18085920
>thought experiment kills you without you knowing it

>> No.18086976

thank you for reading this post Anon :)

>> No.18087014

>>18085616
>9gag
cringe

>> No.18087022

>>18085561
Did you suck his dick?

>> No.18087032

>>18085695
back to your cunny threads >>>/tv/

>> No.18087057
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18087057

>>18085561
>Author ends his philosophical treaty with "Or it could be something else entirely"

>> No.18087080
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18087080

>>18085561
>Author starts describing you buying and reading the book which is about you buying and reading the book.

>> No.18088378
File: 5 KB, 271x186, PNG_Image_271_186_pixels.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18088378

>book contains a tracking device
>last page reads "turn around"

>> No.18089115

>>18086793
it's Nabokov

>> No.18090127

>author tells you his book has plotholes

>> No.18090158
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18090158

>>18085561
>the author secretly tells you to murder a celebrity

>> No.18090204

>>18090158
meds before you do something you’ll regret Matthew

>> No.18090235

>>18085616
God I miss Doszto so fucking much
I want to hug him bros...

>> No.18090367

>>18085631
who is Dostoevsky? sounds like a dumb booktuber

>> No.18090398
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18090398

> author thanks his wife, his childhood friends, everyone in his family and his college friends, and you have nothing

>> No.18090650

>author writes roman à clef filled with Nazis, poets, scientists, intrigue of the build up to war
>you can tell which one is his ex-wife because she only wants to talk about her manicure

>> No.18090707

>>18086829
Name 5 books

>> No.18090860

>>18090158
The Tom Cruise segments in AP are really funny though

>> No.18090865

>>18086172
Beckett was unfortunately too based to do this for his own translations

>> No.18090877

>>18086000
>>18086111
Trips unchecked (two in a row?). Otherwise, blessed thread

>> No.18090904
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18090904

>>18085561
>n-no, thank y-you!!

>> No.18090916

>>18086976
:3 ^-^ <3

>> No.18090932

>pseudonymous author claims another one of their pseudonyms is responsible for the naughty bits
>encourages reader to launch campaign against their filth

>> No.18090975

>>18085561

I wish women really were as adorable and timid as portrayed in anime. I couldnt help but rape them every day

>> No.18090985

>>18086976
Awww

>> No.18091198
File: 145 KB, 700x393, Book-of-Revelation.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18091198

>author blesses you for reading his book

>> No.18091251

>author claims his autobiography with celebrity scandal, government corruption, major crime syndicates, terrorists etc is fictional
>moves to the autobiography section upon his death
>turns out the only fictional part was the random hunting trip he supposedly took because he needed a break from scandal
>not the mob, the terrorists, the actors, the senators, priests, robbery or other stories
Did he expect to be sued by the deer he didn't shoot?

>> No.18091444

>>18091251
What book

>> No.18091463

>>18091444
Vedam

>> No.18091466

>>18086829
Norman Mailer?

>> No.18092431

>Author leaves a crossword puzzle on the back

>> No.18092482

>>18085573
>>18085613
I'd just be happy someone actually read it

>> No.18092488

>>18085717
Lol source?

>> No.18092531

>author pretends the book is merely an adaptation of a book written by somebody else, asks the reader to thank both him and the original author if they liked the book, and says sorry if they instead didn't like it

>> No.18092729

>leave a favorable review
>author flirts with me
b-but i'm not gay

>> No.18092783
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18092783

>author is in jail

>> No.18092797
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18092797

>author curses his enemies

>> No.18092813
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18092813

>>18092729
>leave a 4,5 star review
>author tells me to grow up

>> No.18093097

>>18090707
Anything by Cormac McCarthy.

>> No.18093779

>>18090877
wholesome dubs

>> No.18093786

>>18091198
based

>> No.18093810

>>18092488
I got it slightly wrong, because he put it in the first edition author's note but in all caps
>Please bear in mind throughout that IT IS MEANT TO BE FUNNY.
Waugh's Decline and Fall.
>>18091444
Ringolevio by Grogan, nice trips btw

>> No.18093850

>>18091466
Could be Althusser

>> No.18093855

>>18093850
Althusser smothered her, not stabbed her. Though he did claim it was an act of love.

>> No.18095040

>>18086976
Qt

>> No.18095060
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18095060

>>18085695
>tfw your toddler says 'make sure to subscribe' instead of 'good night' when you tuck him in

>> No.18095067

>>18095060
it’s the parent’s own fault that the kid does that. Imagine being so lazy a parent that you let youtube recs and an ipad raise your toddler instead of you.

>> No.18095116

>>18095067
My kid told the teacher she doesn't have an iPad so they sent CPS to my house. Now I have to see a social worker every other week to make sure I am not abusing my daughter in any other ways.

I should thank them. Youtube is great for kids. Without it, my child would have never discovered her true gender identity.

>> No.18095153
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18095153

>>18085613
>>And this is why all creative people should quit the arts and become lawyers for scummy corps instead. People don't deserve art, they deserve illegible fine print that says the baby milk you just bought will give your kid autism.

Genuinely funny and insightful

>> No.18095169

>>18095116
weird fantasy

>> No.18095176

>>18095116
I would go full ruby ridge at that point

>> No.18095530

>>18092813
>author looks like a total jackshit in these twitter interactions and makes people reconsider purchasing her book