/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.18077596]

In this topic we rewrite movie dialogues and monologues.

[Anonymous No.18077640]

>You know, wouldn't it be great if we had weapon searches for people entering the senate, in case a certain Chancellor was carrying a red lightsaber for example?

[Anonymous No.18077647]

>>18077596
>Natalie Portman (born Natalie Hershlag,[2][3][4] Hebrew: נטע-לי הרשלג;[a] June 9, 1981) is an Israeli-born American actress
>Portman was born in Jerusalem, to parents of Ashkenazi Jewish descent.[1][6][7][8] She was given the Israeli Hebrew name Neta-Lee (Hebrew: נטע-לי, lit. "plant for me").[4] She is the only child of Shelley (née Stevens),[9] an American homemaker who works as Portman's agent, and Avner Hershlag, an Israeli gynecologist.[10] Her maternal grandparents were American Jews and her paternal grandparents were Jewish immigrants to Israel.[11][12][13]
>She learned to speak Hebrew[17] while living on Long Island and attended a Jewish elementary school, the Solomon Schechter Day School of Nassau County.

[Anonymous No.18077681]

>>18077640
>checking the literal galactic chancellor for weapons
High officials never get checked for weapons

[Anonymous No.18077694]

>>18077681
You mean if I become president I can walk around the white house with a grenade launcher and nobody will question me? Based

[Anonymous No.18077707]

"I'm glad you were partial to this, Anon, this image board is always in need of new janitors.." He calmly sparks up his cigarette and draws greedily from it. "We can't seem to get enough of them."
He toggles the heavy switch on the recorder and the cassette awakens and hums.
"What is your name?"
"Anon."
"Say it again."
"Anon."
"May as well say it one more time, eh?"
"A-anon." Anon smiles an autistic smile with only his mouth.
"Okay, Janitor application #47800, April 21st 2021, time is 10:45 BST." He shuffles his rotund mass, the weary stool responding with a creek.

"What is your name?"
"Anon."
"What position are you applying for?"
"Janitor."
"Why are you applying for janitor."
"I want to clean up these boards."
"Why are you applying for janitor."
A pause.
"I want to clean up these boards."
"Are you a faggot."
"No."
"Do you suck cocks every day?"
"N-no."
"Are you sure."
"No. FUCK! FUCK!" Anon's vein grew prominent on his gay forehead, face the colour of a post-sodomy asshole.

"Now we go back to the start. What is your name?"
"Anon."
"What position are you applying for?"
"Janitor."
"Why are you applying for janitor, Anon."
"Because I want to clean up these boards."
".......Why are you applying for janitor, Anon.....tell me.."
"........Because I am a homosexual."
"You suck cocks?"
"Every day?"
"Yes."
"You suck cock every single day you miserable faggot?"
"Yes sir," he seethes through bared teethe, tears welling in his pleading eyes.
"When did you realise you were a total faggot?"
"When I gave my cousin a blowjob and said no homo."
"But you were a homo, weren't you Anon?"
"N-no, not like that."
"COME ON, ANON, YOU ARE A FUCKING GAY FAGGOT."
"NO SIR."
"You did it again and again, didn't you?"
"fuck you."
"You ARE a faggot."
"FUCK YOU"
"WHAT POSITION ARE YOU APPLYING FOR?"
"JANNIE."
"WHY ARE YOU APPLYING FOR JANNIE, COCKSUCKER?"
"BECAUSE I'M A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT."
"WHAT WILL YOU WORK FOR?"
"FREE, I'LL DO IT FOR FREE!"
"Why work for free anon?"
"I don't know."
"Yes you do, why will you work for free?"
"Because I'm a stupid gay cunt."
"Close your eyes." Anon obliges and scrunches his beady eyes tight to hide from the truth.


>Someone else can finish it if they want.

[Anonymous No.18077743]

>>18077707
Fucking KEK, someone finish it please

[Anonymous No.18077766]

>>18077707
Wew

[Anonymous No.18077821]

>>18077694
do it anon

[Anonymous No.18077827]

>>18077707
Based

[Anonymous No.18077843]

There's something really off about Mrs. Hershlag

[Anonymous No.18077848]

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a single fuck"

[Anonymous No.18077858]

>>18077843
she's cute though, she's just vey vey fragile, a delicate lil flower that needs protected

[Anonymous No.18077878]

>>18077821
I'm gonna run for POTUS in 2024 and nobody is gonna stop me. You heard it here first!
I'm gonna mention y'all in my inauguration speech, and then shout sneed as loud as possible and jump off the balcony into my legions of adoring suckers

[Anonymous No.18077960]

>>18077878
Based, I believe in you anon

[Anonymous No.18078475]

>>18077848
mega based

[Anonymous No.18079432]

heckin bumperino

[Anonymous No.18079465]

>>18077647
>newfag
everyone knows this

[Anonymous No.18079515]

>>18077647
>>18077596
I'd still pork her, if you know what I mean

[Anonymous No.18079532]

>>18079515
w-what did he mean by this?

[Anonymous No.18079605]

>>18077843
>>18077858

I doubt a professional actor wouldn't be in control or at least aware of his facial expression in a public setting like that.

[Anonymous No.18079620]

>Luke, I'm your mother's husband

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.18079646]

>>18077596
"We'll always have that memory of the time we fucked in Paris before the Nazis invaded in 1940."

[Anonymous No.18079661]

>>18077647
>an Israeli gynecologist

[Anonymous No.18081375]

>>18077596
>My phone was rangebanned from /tv/