>mfw no one ever posts this anymore so I can never repost my stories that I'm stuck on and get feedback and ideas

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Anonymous Thu May 26 22:40:34 2011 No.1806080 [Reply] [Original]

>mfw no one ever posts this anymore so I can never repost my stories that I'm stuck on and get feedback and ideas

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 22:43:34 2011 No.1806088 This story is about OP, who is a giant faggot

Anonymous Thu May 26 22:47:34 2011 No.1806099

How about a story about the setting being post WW3. The world was divided into 4 divisions. Europe and Russia made one continent, Africa and Australia mande another one. Asia is still there, just with more land. N and S America combined.
New Europe sealed a vaccine that the west powers want to get and that serum is what started the war. I don't know, just came out of my head. Add on if you want.

Anonymous Thu May 26 22:49:34 2011 No.1806102
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A kind-of-gothic man is obsessed with the wizards and black magic, then a mysterious woman meet him in a library where he was reading some books about black magic, she talks with him about black magic and, after she catched that he knows a lot about black magic, offers him to join to a society of black magicians/wizards.
Well at the end the protagonist was insane from the beginning but that will be implicit.

Rangaha !KJKZ7n2h3I Thu May 26 22:50:34 2011 No.1806105

Homeless man traveling across the US (written in both third person and conscious narrative); the main focal points being his psychological imbalances, pursuit of acceptance and fleeting suicidal thoughts. I want it to end in such a way that, even through all the madness, he realizes how cruel and disgusting the world is, loses all motivation to integrate into society, and goes back to walking along the countryside for the remainder of his life.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 22:56:34 2011 No.1806120 Rated based on my personal tastes, don't take them to be indicative of actual or potential quality. >>1806099 6 >>1806102 8 >>1806105 5

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 22:57:34 2011 No.1806123 >>1806102 Here. >>1806088 10/10 >>1806099 7/10 >Europe and Russia made one continent >N and S America combined. That's too trite. >>1806105 9/10

Anonymous Thu May 26 22:59:34 2011 No.1806128
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A man that falls in love with a woman, the problem is that since her bald dad use to abuse her, she developed a phobia in baldness as she always associates it with her dad. This man has thinning hair and is going bald. He wants to ask her on a date but she always purposely avoids him and never looks at him for obvious reasons. He sees an add from crazey inc. in a scalp treatment to grow his hair back. It actualy turns him completely bald and when he went to reclaim the treatment, the company mysteriously dissipated. He then starts getting migraines but finds out his head is as strong as steel as he feel from a bridge head first since he was dizzy and all. It left a hole on the ground. Other people that took treatments from crayzey inc. have different powers depending on their treatment. As a damsel in distress, the main character's love interest gets kidnapped by some group since a relative of hers had some connection to the company that vanished.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:00:34 2011 No.1806132 >>1806105 This one has potential. Would be good if it was a dark comedy blend of some kind. I don't like rating ideas before they are handled properly, though.

Anonymous Thu May 26 23:02:34 2011 No.1806145

A prince and a Princess are fighting throughout human history, choosing representatives out of population centers and pitting them against each other to decide the ultimate fate of humanity.

Prince uses a squad of knights with an animal totem that hangs around them and whose nature dictate their powers.
Princess employes increasingly powerful individuals.

Main character fights for the Prince, is the Snail Knight, and is the only one not aware that he has been the designated martyr that will sacrifice himself for a team mate.

It's a comedy.

Anonymous Thu May 26 23:11:34 2011 No.1806158

Tiger in a zoo.
Inner monologue.
Am I even a tiger?
etc.
End = man climbs over fence, tiger mauls him and is happy. The mauling is told like an orgasm.

STUFF I NEED TO FIGURE OUT:
What person / what type of narrator / from what point of view?
Maybe they put him to sleep afterword but he's cool with that because he has validated his existence as a tiger?

-----

Passionate love story, very relatable and adorable. In the end it's Hitler and Eva WHAT A TWEEST.

-----

God discovers he is god. He hates the idea of a god and finds a way to destroy himself through humanity.

Anonymous Thu May 26 23:12:34 2011 No.1806162

An elementary school boy is dared to eat a slime ball that actually came from space. He swallows it whole and is praised for being so daring. A few hour later he starts becoming more and more sweaty. His sister checks on his increasing body temperature. Also note that she's the older sibling taking care of her little brother and responsible for him since parents are out on a 4 day honey moon. She comes back to the bed too find a green ooze in the place her brother was sleeping in under the covers. She freaks out and cleans the mess with a vacuum. Later the boy comes out of the back of the vacuum in a more humanoid form asking her why she looks so scared. Blah blah plot, she and her brother get into 4 days of misadventures and must find a way to turn him back by the last day.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:13:34 2011 No.1806166 >>1806102 I don't think you know what Gothic means.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:13:34 2011 No.1806168 >>1806099 >>1806099 Those are some unrealistic alliances.

Anonymous Thu May 26 23:13:34 2011 No.1806169

A guy becomes unbelievably rich. Cannot possibly go broke. He is also kind of an asshole and gets bored.

He buys the rarest shit on Earth, like one-of-a-kind stuff. Let's say an original T model Ford. He gets all these collectors in from all over the world, puts them behind a glass viewing screen, and just smashes the car to shit with a sledgehammer.

He takes all of the vegetarian and vegan statistics and buys enough meat to match the number of vegans/vegetarians and render their efforts completely useless. He gives the meat to homeless shelters and third-world countries so they have higher quality food.

He sees struggling parishes and offers to buy their churches, then demolishes them. He buys MTV and plays music on it again. He gives money to useless charities and ignores important ones. Then he gives all his wealth to Russia, and flies a rocket into the sun.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:16:34 2011 No.1806172 >>1806105 Sounds like potential.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:19:34 2011 No.1806178 >>1806168 I really didn't know how to set it up, it just came out of my head that there is a serum vaccine which was the reason for WW3.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:21:34 2011 No.1806181 >>1806158 this one is my fravorite

Anonymous Thu May 26 23:21:34 2011 No.1806183

I really like the idea of writing a story that takes the basic premise of Canterbury Tales (a bunch of travelers exchange stories of various kinds as they travel to a specific place), but sets the entire thing in a fantasy setting and uses the stories to explain/imply things about the world and the storytellers themselves (and places more emphasis on the said characters).

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:21:34 2011 No.1806185 >>1806166 That's why i said 'kind of'.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:22:34 2011 No.1806189 >>1806185 That's a weird thing to do. Use a word you don't know, but preface it with 'kind of'.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:23:34 2011 No.1806190 >>1806189 I've been kind-of inoculated today.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:28:34 2011 No.1806204 >>1806190 No, you ate a Popsicle.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:29:34 2011 No.1806205 >>1806189 It's a bad habit. But i think that the idea can be catched with the 'kind of gothic' thing.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:41:34 2011 No.1806221 >>1806169 This is interesting actually

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:43:34 2011 No.1806231 Don't mind me I was just passing. >>1806099 >5 >>1806102 >7 >>1806105 >9 >>1806128 >4 >>1806145 >6 >>1806162 >3 >>1806169 >5 >>1806158 >7 >1 >8

Anonymous Thu May 26 23:44:34 2011 No.1806235

>>1806099
4/10, doesn't sound very thought out, you don't have a plot.

>>1806102
has potential to succeed, but a lot to suck as well.

5/10

>>1806105
8/10, sounds good. ([{for a tripfag}])

>>1806128
2/10, sounds boring.

>>1806145

1/10

>>1806158

You've posted this before, the god idea has been done already btw.

>>1806162

3/10 sounds like the plot of an episode of a kids show more than a complete book.

>>1806169

3/10. It could be done right if handled by a good writer, but it's a long shot.

>>1806183
6/10, but your are asking more if a frame device is good or not instead of an actual story idea.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:51:34 2011 No.1806251 >>1806088 Only good idea in this thread.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:52:34 2011 No.1806256 >>1806235 I know, I repost it in all these threads for ideas/feedback. Also, where has it been done? Not being doubtful, just not aware of where it 's been done.

Anonymous Thu May 26 23:53:34 2011 No.1806258

Secular news reporter does a story on a secluded family cult. He slowly discovers that many of the younger members are conflicted over their beliefs, but wouldn't dare say anything in front of the adults (or the cameras). When his time as a reporter runs up he decides to apply to join the cult and see if he can't help the younger members get out, or at least make their lives more tolerable. Steadily he becomes more and more influenced by the beliefs of the group, but remains committed to the people he increasingly sees as his charges, even going so far as to develop a romantic relationship with one of them. The first half of the story would comprise of interview transcripts, the second half of diary entries.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:53:34 2011 No.1806259 Someone builds a real-life Through the Looking Glass mirror. Antics occur.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:54:34 2011 No.1806264 >>1806259 SHENANIGANS FUCKING ENSUE FUCK Y U GOTTA MESS WIT A GOOD THANG?!

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:57:34 2011 No.1806273 A modern scene-for-scene and character-for-character adaptation of Dickens' Hard Times. Settings could include cocoa plantations in Africa and/or sweatshops in Asia.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:58:34 2011 No.1806276 >>1806256 God's debris, scott adams. >>1806258 So, like an inverse 1984? Instead of trying to get out of an all-inclusive shitfucked state, he's trying to get IN to a smaller version of a shitfucked state? i dunno. it doesn't seem compelling.

>>	Anonymous Thu May 26 23:59:34 2011 No.1806280 >>1806273 would work better as a movie >>1806259 2/10

Anonymous Fri May 27 00:01:34 2011 No.1806290

>>1806276
>So, like an inverse 1984?
No, nothing like that at all. It's about comparing the mindset of a cult which wants to save people from society to the mindset of a man who wants to save people from the cult. A mediation on the pervasiveness of the messiah complex.

NobodyInParticular !!PdyTLmgrbwc Fri May 27 00:03:34 2011 No.1806298

Post-apocalyptic desert wasteland. Just before the nuclear blasts that decimated the planet, humankind had found the technology to create large, house sized robots. Afterwords, scrap-metal mecha are the most common weapons and transportation, with most of the fighting done over resources and viable water. Lawlessness reigns, with bandits, mercenaries, religious zealots, hardline militant soldiers, and shady merchants.

The main character lives in a little village, and was recently engaged to his childhood love. However, in a bandit raid ended in her being kidnapped, and he has to grab a small mech and trek into the waste to find here, bringing his best friend.

After collecting a couple more comrades along the way, they fight their way through bandits, horrifying mutated monsters, crusaders trying to instill a martial law across the land, manipulating merchants, and the remains of a illuminati-esque shadow organization that was responsible for killing the planet.

The plot moves over from simply saving the love interest to stopping the shadow organization from retaking control over the planet. The organization has only a few remaining heads left, each one controlling a major faction, and each with his own unique mecha.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 00:06:34 2011 No.1806302 Still working on my novel about a man who is murdered, then mysteriously comes back to "life" as a walking corpse. Doing research for it has been rather fun, since he has to find ways around all the natural things that happen to corpses (decay, etc).

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 00:06:34 2011 No.1806303 >>1806290 Oh. Sounds better now. Why the interviews/diary split? Why not concurrent?

Anonymous Fri May 27 00:07:34 2011 No.1806310

>>1806298
I love mechas so this idea is obviously appealing to me, but the post-apocalyptic multi-faction dog-eat-dog vibe I get is that of Philip Reeve's Hungry Cities quartet. You should probably have a read, ensure that the similarities are kept to a minimum.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 00:07:34 2011 No.1806305 >>1806298 For a book 2/10 For an anime or a manga 4/10

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 00:11:34 2011 No.1806317 >>1806298 1/10 shonen is no genre to stick into a book. >>1806302 6/10, sounds good.

Anonymous Fri May 27 00:12:34 2011 No.1806321

>>1806303
Something about the interview style has a ring of inherent objectivity to it, its merely a transcription of two people talking. In that way, it's sort of like the journalistic ideal, which this guy wants to embody, to be detached, to ask the questions and let them give him the story.

The diary is the complete opposite, it's a subjective meditation which is replete with monologue and ramblings and distortions and bias. Separating them helps to show how the cult is affecting his mindset at the level of form alone. Also, it fits the story timeline: the interview transcripts would be compiled when his camera crew is still with him, but when they leave and he stays, a diary is the only way to record his thoughts.

Though some overlap may be useful, come to think of it. Would help to make the juxtaposition even more apparent.

Anonymous Fri May 27 00:18:34 2011 No.1806338

Posted this before. Giving the short pitch.

Office worker from earth is a big dreamer and always wanted more excitement in his life. One day he gets unwillingly teleported to a alien planet. He immediately gets arrested before being let out. He meets another alien soon after release and gets swept up in a resistance movement lead by his new friend. The planet is just one of many that were conquered and used to have a race that was exterminated by the dictator leader. As he gets more swept up he is trying to find his way back home and deciding if this is really what he wanted or if he wants his old life back. Later realizing that his new friend had unintentionally had a hand in his teleportation in the first place.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 00:25:34 2011 No.1806355 >>1806338 5/10 could be good, has an old-school sci fi tone to it

Anonymous Fri May 27 00:27:34 2011 No.1806362

>>1806338
The problem with pitching sci-fi is that so much of it depends on your ability to create worlds, which you really can't express in one paragraph. That said, I don't see why the story lends itself well to sci-fi. Why couldn't the teleportation just be deportation? Why couldn't the alien imperialists just be one nation on planet Earth invading another? You need to demonstrate why this genre is right for what you are trying to explore - and I don't really know what that is, either.

NobodyInParticular !!PdyTLmgrbwc Fri May 27 00:27:34 2011 No.1806363

>>1806310
Well, the whole idea with my idea and the Hungry Cities quartet is all based off of the same genre, a sort of road warrior wasteland apocalypse. Basic idea is that the earth is turned into a barren desert, law breaks down, and everything's reduced to a sort of kill or be killed mentality. Fighting over gas, food, water, etc. Few relatively safe spots, usually towns, warlords trying to take control and wage turf wars, that kind of thing.

Frankly, Road Warrior apocalypses are my favorite, the idea of a zombie one is so incredibly overused it's practically a cliché nowadays. The things that do present a Road Warrior don't seem to showboat nearly as much as zombie ones. Brink, Borderlands, the Road, even Fallout manage to emphasize on it without throwing it into a spotlight yelling 'HEY GUIZE LOOK AT ME I HAVE ZOMBIES AM I COOL YET?"

Mad Max never gets enough love.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 00:31:34 2011 No.1806370 >>1806363 Sounds like you know your genre, I wish you the best of luck.

Anonymous Fri May 27 00:34:34 2011 No.1806377

>>1806362
The reason I picked sci fi was because of the main character. He is supposed to be a every day, nerdy kind of man. He's always day dreaming and getting caught up in video games or books or like material. It's all about this guy who's day dreams and fantasies are coming true and how he has to deal with losing everything he's had to get what he at one point wanted so much.

I suppose I could do the same thing putting him in a fantasy type setting. And just change the material of his fascination. However I want him to thrive in a world that he is in awe of given what he comes from. Looking at everything in amazement rather than how simple everything is if put in a fantasy setting.

All of that being said I have thought about some of the more important races he'll be running into and how this world will impact him as well as he impacts it.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 00:35:34 2011 No.1806379 Hey /lit/, I wrote a bit for Uni a couple weeks ago that I'm seriously considering expanding. Its pretty short at the moment (7pages double spaced) and I was wondering if you guys would care to comment/critique. tl;dr I wrote thing, you read?

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 00:40:34 2011 No.1806385 >>1806379 Sure

Anonymous Fri May 27 00:42:34 2011 No.1806390

>>1806377
But you understand that's an even more overused plot trope than amnesia, right? How many stories can you name where the main charachter wants to have an epic adventure to escape the tedium of their life, only for it to happen and for them to discover it's not as fun as they thought it would be? Don't start naming them, you'll be here for hours. This isn't a reason NOT to do it your way, but be warned that by doing so you are practically inviting comparisons to Neo, Luke Skywalker et al. And thems some tough boots to fill.

Anonymous Fri May 27 00:43:34 2011 No.1806394

I have no original ideas at the moment that I care to type about. So instead, captcha stories.

>1913, iparofit

A black boy in 1913 is put into school late. He struggles to learn to read and do classwork and faces racism from a predominantly white school.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 00:45:34 2011 No.1806397 >>1806385 Posted it as >>1806393 New topic since it could derail this thread

Anonymous Fri May 27 00:50:34 2011 No.1806410

Story takes place in world's biggest asylum. Man character is a new male nurse on first day of work(First person). Almost magically, all the prisoners begin to run free well the outside universe seems to have seperated from the asylum, leaving the sane to fend aganist serial killers and all those crazy people. A civilazation starts buliding insde the Asylum with tribes and other groups. It gets gorey at parts. Soon the man character ages, dies, grows insane himself a bit, and even has children. Just a mess full of scary bits, life and insanity.

Anonymous Fri May 27 00:54:34 2011 No.1806422

>>1806390
I'm not the poster you were replying to, but perhaps the reason that the theme is popular is because so many of us dream of escaping our banal jobs and lives. A fair majority of successful movies are based on this idea (The Matrix, Fight Club, etc).

duccul presuppose KOZ !Ry9.HRD23k Fri May 27 00:54:34 2011 No.1806423

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS MOTION PICTURE EPIC BASED ON A CAPTCHA THAT I POSTED ON /tv/ TWO DAYS AGO?

*** *** *** *** *** ***

A BRUNNETTE DUKE IN HIS QUEST OF BUILDING AN EMPIRE THROUGH INVADING NEIGHBOURING KINGDOMS WHO IS CHALLENGED BY A BLOND KING FROM THE NETHERLANDS BECAUSE THE DUKE'S "FASCIST WAYS" OFFEND HIS "RIGHTEOUS HONOR" IN AN "ANAL MANNER", WITHOUT REALIZING THAT THE DUKE'S ULTIMATE GOAL IS TO CREATE A LAND WHERE SOCIAL AND INDIVIDUAL SPHERES ARE IN LONGLASTING EQUILIBRIUM AND THAT BY DOING SO HE HAS TO ELIMINATE AS MUCH OF "THE OPPOSING FORCE" (COHERSION) REIGNING OUTSIDE HIS LEGITIMATE DOMAINS THROUGH INVADING NEIGHBOURING KINGDOMS, EXPANDING HIS DOMAINS IN THE PROCESS.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 00:55:34 2011 No.1806425 >>1806410 3/10 that's barely even coherent yo

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 00:56:34 2011 No.1806434 >>1806410 I think that happened in an episode of Superjail.

Anonymous Fri May 27 00:56:34 2011 No.1806435
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>>1806410
>Almost magically
Lost me here. No. You either have an explanation, or you start after everything has gone to shit. Otherwise you are asking the reader to gloss over the fact that you don't have a fucking clue what you are doing.

>Soon the man character ages, dies, grows insane himself a bit, and even has children

Timeline fail, much?

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 00:58:34 2011 No.1806441 I'm thinking about writing a story about redemption.

Anonymous Fri May 27 00:58:34 2011 No.1806442

Chance, who's worked for a morally questionable corporate army all his life has been on the run for nearly a dozen years. He ran because his bosses refused to let him go and eventually put a price on his head forcing him to stay until he escaped one night. Over the years he's found a team of men and women from all over the world, a ex terrorist lead, a ex genetics scientist, a old friend, and a man whom nearly killed him 3 times before they joined forces can be counted among them. They live as soldiers for hire, until one day a mission to help a local village from some bandits leads them back to the company that Chance had left in the first place. Now controlling having it's hands in over half the world, Chance decides to end the assassination attempts, end the running, and put it all on the line for one final mission. He's acquire enough allies and resources that it won't just be his squad fighting, but they will be the prime target.

Anonymous Fri May 27 01:00:34 2011 No.1806446

>>1806422
Precisely my point. If you're going to use an overused plot device, you'd better have something else up your sleeve or else you'll only ever be seen as a poor man's Wachowski Bros or whatever. I realise it's a common trope for a reason, but that doesn't necessarily make it good literature.

Anonymous Fri May 27 01:01:34 2011 No.1806451

>>1806410
I know it's played out. But it still is strong because it's a story people can relate to in it's most basic form. Someone wanting something more out of life.

That being said the entirety of the story won't just be focused on that theme. A side theme will be the relationship he builds with his friends. And how that trust is betrayed when he finds out he was responsible and how motives of each of them will be questioned and trying to figure out who each of these guys really are. Or if it was all just a facade they put on to each other.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 01:03:34 2011 No.1806454 >>1806442 Sounds like the kind of story that would sell well without pushing anyone's buttons (unlike, say, Dan Brown), but it'll never be whispered with reverence in the halls of academia.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 01:05:34 2011 No.1806466 >>1806446 So then it being good literature would involve the variation of the cliche being considered revolutionary for it's time (like Fight Club was, when it came out).

Anonymous Fri May 27 01:05:34 2011 No.1806467

>>1806451
Again though, friendship betrayal is another common trope which doesn't alone justify another book on the subject, not unless you have something really original to say. Nothing about your story idea screams "read me!", which is pretty much what you need in this day and age.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 01:07:34 2011 No.1806471 >>1806466 Yeah, but I'd venture to say that Fight Club has more going for it that just the everyman theme. The underlying dualism of the main character is probably the main reason it's endured.

Anonymous Fri May 27 01:11:34 2011 No.1806481

>>1806454
Let me explain more about the company he worked for. They are a corporate army in which they cybernetically enhance their soldiers. Every one of them is put through ever modification they can to get the perfect soldier. Chance didn't want any of it. He proved he was able to stand with his fellow soldiers without the modification, much to his employers dismay.

One day he got injured in combat and the company took that opportunity to enhance him a bit. He hated them for it and tried to leave after that. When his employers told him he'd have to pay for what was done to him he realized the price was so high just to keep the soldiers working for the company forever so he ran.

A running thing throughout the book will be how the main character hates modifications and has to deal with one of his own and how the rest of the world has embraced them and because of that tend to be more than a match for Chance.

This causes a stir among his men when Chance finally does tell his story to them and how the reason he wants them all to put their lives on the line for him is for a personal preference.

So it'll have a underlying theme of which is better, being set in your ways and working harder to get the job done, or modding yourself to get a faster edge and pushing things forward.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 01:16:34 2011 No.1806494 >>1806471 Well it has the everyman theme, coupled with the "it was actually me all along" cliche, (which I've always thought was a variation of the it-was-all-a-dream cliche). But it did hit at the right time. We're the middle children of history man.

Anonymous Fri May 27 01:19:34 2011 No.1806497

>>1806481
>This causes a stir among his men when Chance finally does tell his story to them and how the reason he wants them all to put their lives on the line for him is for a personal preference.

The rest I can take or leave, but I really like this. Go forth sir, and write your arse off.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 01:20:34 2011 No.1806502 >>1806423 Sounds decent for a captcha based outline. For that I'll give you 7.5/10

Anonymous Fri May 27 01:36:34 2011 No.1806556

Okay /lit/ I got a long one for you.

My older brother suddenly had this crazy urge to make a graphic novel about zombies and he wants me to write it with him after he makes the outline for the story. I told him zombies are played out and that if he really must insist on zombies then he should make the focus on the characters instead. He came to me drunk a few times and spilled out all of his ideas. Here's a summary of the whole story, tell me what you guys think:

A dad lives with his two sons. Son one, we'll call Bob, is about 23 and son two, let's say Carl, is 18. Using nuclear weapons is basically national suicide, so the US tries to sidestep this by synthesizing biological weapons and viruses etc. They fuck it up somehow and it starts to spread through the states (the details of how and why really arent that important yet) and the whole zombie outbreak-deal happens.

Shit starts to get hairy, and our main characters need to get moving if they want to survive. Bob never really got along with his dad, and he decides he wants to go separate ways when they disagree on the game plan; Carl follows. Dad is disapoint, but so it goes. Bob and Carl leave; they face some trouble and get rescued by some soldiers from a nearby military base. They get recruited into this little army and get trained like real soldiers; after a couple months they consider this base their new home and the soldiers like their brothers. They even get super tight with whoever is in charge (colonel? general? I don't know military hierarchy) Carl is always looking up to Bob for what to do and basically follows what he does.

cont

Anonymous Fri May 27 01:36:34 2011 No.1806559

>>1806556
Eventually Bob goes out with the soldiers during a mission to wipe out the zombies in a particular portion of the city, and they go this big squad with tanks and they start gunnin down zombies. Bob and some other soldiers go to clear a building and find a woman and her children; the other soldiers Bob is with kill the kids and they partake in a gangbang rape of this woman. My brother insists Bob be part of this rapage too, but I don't think he should. Anyways, Bob realizes they're/he's fucked up and doesn't consider them family anymore and begins to regret his decision to leave his father. He decides to escape the base and go out to look for his dad. He tells Carl to come along, but Carl decides he wants to stay at the base because he considers them his family now. Carl has been hanging out with those guys too long and is also a fucked up soldier now, too, and Bob leaves him there (this is where we're super deep, because Carl's decision to leave Bob is the same as with Bob and his father).

Bob ends up leaving the base (either he escapes or gets kicked out, haven't decided yet), and then the story is supposed to end soon but we couldn't agree on an ending. He kept throwing cliche superdespair endings at me ("He accidentally kills his dad!" "His dad is already dead and he dies too!" etc). I guess the ending isn't really important just yet, but it'll probably end with the dad forgiving him or something.

tl;dr my brother wants to make a zombie story that focuses on father/son/family themes rather than actual zombie fightan, what does /lit/ think?

Anonymous Fri May 27 01:37:34 2011 No.1806562

>>1806497
The entire reason the part you like comes about is because it is such a big issue in the world. Most don't think about modding. Most just do it to do it. Only a select few actually make a effort to not mod, or mod a little as possible. Even the main characters best friends is almost a full body replacement and stands at the opposite side of the issue as him.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 01:38:34 2011 No.1806566 >>1806559 I think so long as The Walking Dead remains in the capable hands of Mr. Kirkman, your brother should wait his turn.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 01:41:34 2011 No.1806574 >>1806566 I was thinking the same thing, which is why I haven't been 100% on him with his idea.

Anonymous Fri May 27 07:14:34 2011 No.1806931

A young man is plagued by recurring nightmares in which he and a group of other people are fighting an evil entity. He searches online for an interpretation of the dream and finds an eerily similar account. He contacts the person who posted this account and realises she is one of the characters in the recurring dream.

In the next dream, the two of them communicate this fact to the other people in the dream, and sure enough, within hours of waking those people have also contacted the first two IRL.

By comparing notes, they discover that the evil entity appears differently to all of them. They also form a plan of attack they hope will allow them to defeat it.

In the next dream, they implement the plan, but something goes wrong and our hero is the only survivor. Trapped alone with the evil entity he is amazed as it transforms into a being resembling an angel. The angel explains to our hero that he is a god, that he has 'hidden' himself on Earth in human form to hide from his enemies, that the others in the dream were really just manifestations of the defence mechanisms against his realising that he is a god, but that the time is now ripe for him to return and do battle.

In order to this, of course, he must 'discorporate' - ie, destroy his physical body in the real world.

Anonymous Fri May 27 07:15:34 2011 No.1806932

>>1806931
After some agonising, he eventually attempts this 'discorporation'. The suicide attempt fails and after he confesses to his family, he is committed to an asylum.

The dreams begin again, the angel explaining to him that his enemies have narrowed down the number of humans who might secretly be him, and have confined all of them to asylums. The 'medication' they give him is actually a slow poison that will eventually kill his divine aspect, with terrible consequences for the universe.

I don't really have a final act as such, but the denouement should be the protagonist's gradual realisation that... TWEEST... he's actually just suffering from paranoid schizophrenia. He's not a god or anything special at all. Focus particularly on his gradual maturation as he works towards the eventual goal of recovering his mental health.

Anonymous Fri May 27 07:36:34 2011 No.1806961
File: 18 KB, 399x299, FacePalm (1).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>1806183
So, about ten years ago, I got the idea to write a science fiction version of Canterbury Tales, with the characters telling stories revealing the universe as they were on a pilgrimage to... don't remember, that was a long time ago.

mfw, five years later, I start reading the Hyperion Cantos.

How many times has that bullshit happened to you guys?

Anonymous Fri May 27 07:54:34 2011 No.1806976

>>1806961
That's nothing, my friend.

It happened to me SO often that I thought, well, lemons => lemonade, and I thought I'd write a short story about a guy who has lots of great ideas, but discovers in turn that they've all been done.

Meet "The Longest Science-fiction Story Ever Told" by Arthur C. Clarke - an epistolary short consisting solely of a rejection letter to an author explaining that the author's idea - for a story about a guy who has lots of great ideas but discovers they've all been done - has already been done.

Twice.

At least.

GAH!

Anonymous Fri May 27 12:02:34 2011 No.1807373

Written in first person from the POV of a serial killer, who basically invites actors to play dead in his "House of Death" and tells them to lie down while he gets the make-up kit. He then comes back with a gun and shoots the actor. The rest of the book (more like short story, amirite?) is about how he really doesn't have a reason to kill these people, but he sort of likes the idea that they just layed there, not expecting to be shot in the face. Just random insane shit like that. And then the police catches his and everyone walks the dinosaur.

Anonymous Fri May 27 12:08:34 2011 No.1807391

Some bitch wit a dank booty is walking by the train tracks late one night when a masked dude rapes her and pumps her full of jelly. Believing firmly in fried chicken and anti-abortionism, Shaniqua lets the corrupted seed in her belly bloom and she gives birth to a prodigious child. Shaniqua struggles to raise her child, a gift and potential exit from the ghetto, with the knowledge of its conception

Anonymous Fri May 27 12:27:34 2011 No.1807427

A man creates a time machine, goes back in time and steals all the best songs of the future and becomes famous, then the time police chase him for time plagiarism in an epic way thru different periods in time then he gets killed and finds out it was all a dream

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 12:28:34 2011 No.1807429 A man takes heroin and a celebrity dies, he realizes every time he takes heroin a random celebrity dies...

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 12:29:34 2011 No.1807433 Putin is secret agent gorge bush monkey bad man

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 12:31:34 2011 No.1807435 A guy get's a time machine, brings back an AK-47 w/ laser and scope and lots of ammo to christmas, year zero and rescue's jesus off the cross

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 14:35:34 2011 No.1807555 File: 255 KB, 720x478, 1305220625799.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1807435

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 14:42:34 2011 No.1807565 Some stuff happens to some person and they learn a lesson or don't.

Anonymous Fri May 27 14:49:34 2011 No.1807582

Short story opening with a first person narrator wandering around town in the midst of a heavy MDMA comedown. He sees a homeless guy and decides to get the old fella some lunch. Whilst eating the old guy starts talking about his life, and the narrative switches to his perspective. He reminisces about how he became homeless through poor money lending/borrowing and drug use. This takes up the majority of the short story. After eating the old guy and the first narrator leaves, and the narrator sees the homeless guy get hit by a car and killed. It is up to the reader to choose whether the narrator learns anything from the old mans story or not.

Just bare bones at the moment to be honest.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 15:06:34 2011 No.1807606 >>1807582 I swear I heard someone, maybe you post this in 2008 except it had something to do with vietnam or something

Anonymous Fri May 27 15:44:34 2011 No.1807676

Alternate reality history of humanity.
A complex combination of recessive traits (one in about 10,000) causes a human to grow into a giant, about three times as tall, ten times as heavy and ten times as strong. The traits are not predictable in their heritability; most children of giants are not giants.
Traditionally giants have dominated all other humans. They are very difficult for ordinary humans to kill, so they are not killed. The only reason they are kept alive when it becomes clear they are giants is that (like all humans) they tend to be very loyal to their immediate family and relatives.
My problem is, what plot is based on this premise? "Ordinary humans revolt"? -- sounds like every other "sf revolution" story. "People find out how to become giants"? -- uninteresting.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 15:49:34 2011 No.1807686 >>1807676 Sword of Damacles- it is dangerous to be a giant because of other giants wanting to kill you. So really no one wants to be a giant.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 15:59:34 2011 No.1807699 File: 26 KB, 384x288, 130401639991.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >mfw nobody rates.

Anonymous Fri May 27 16:06:34 2011 No.1807712

A mine in rural Pennsylvania that has been burning for over 50 years goes out in one day. A group of local police officers, ranging in rank, discover that it had been some kind of temple complex and find themselves at odds with its inhabitants spawned from the inbreeding of the miners and a subterranean race.
It needs work but I like the intial idea of the mine fire going out and an investigation

Anonymous Fri May 27 16:12:34 2011 No.1807719

Anything not to study for monday's exams...

>>1806099
Difficult to rate, where are you going with this, sam? Not sure if I'm feeling it. Another political commentary about the world's superpowers?
>5/10

>>1806102
Gothic man? wut? What more happens after he's introduced to the secret society? I assume they start practicing magic?
>5/10

>>1806105
I like it! There has to be more to it than him just witnessing the terrors of man though. Some subtle nuances.
>7/10

>>1806128
Is this a comedy or something? Seems like it would deal too lightly with serious issues. Though you can do interesting things with it.
>5/10

>>1806145
Fund it.
>8/10

>>1806158
I like your last idea.
>8/10

>>1806183
Sort of like the bar in Sandman? Where they exchange tales from their respective universes and former lives? Like it.
>8/10

>>1806258
Intradasting.
>7/10

>>1806298
No. Mechas do not work. It sounds like a fairly low-budget gundam series.
>3/10

Will get to the others soon enough.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 16:19:34 2011 No.1807728 >>1807582 7-8/10 The other last fifteen or so stories all suck. Except the zombie one, but that one kinda sounds like The Walking Dead + The Road, so meh. consider yourselves rated. I award you no points and may god have mercy on your souls.

Anonymous Fri May 27 16:22:34 2011 No.1807732
File: 166 KB, 363x500, 5517910515_cbc3255eae.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>1807719
Continuing this post.

>>1806338
Wanting to return should only be a minor plot point. Do not make him return to real life when there is an enormous alien rebellion going on out there. It sounds like you have some interesting points worked out, I would definitely go for it. Make the character relate-able!
>8/10

>>1806410
I don't like the way you're presenting this. Not in the very least. "it getz gory xD!"
>1/10

>>1806556
Been done man, been done.
>3/10

>>1807712
From whose perspective are you writing this? That makes or breaks it in my opinion.
>?/10, possibly a 8/10

Now for the story I am currently working on. Posted it so many times before.

- Man wakes up in an abandoned science facility.
- Discovers that he has psychokinetic powers
- World is in absolute disarray
- A team of scientists harvested powers from him and others.
- The world is now split up into 3 nations, 2 are led by the former scientists and 1 is led by a former test subject
- He sets out for revenge.

There's a lot more to it if anyone's interested. Need to get in 10 minutes of studying now...

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 17:10:34 2011 No.1807803 Great....

Anonymous Fri May 27 17:30:34 2011 No.1807852

First half is the story of a man who is alive near the end of the Universe's lifespan and decides to try to reach the center as it ends to hopefully be remade in the ensuing implosion. (Might have some crazy theory on how this will work.) Second half is his restoration as a type of energy cloud or some such, with greatly fractured conscious and has been restored as a sort of embodiment of entropy that hungers for matter. Like a type of need that washes over and tickles at him. Told through a type of stream of consciousness style during slight moments of realization.

Yeah, it has a lot to be worked on. I thought of it a couple weeks ago and told a friend and he said it sounded too much like an Asimov story he read.

>>	Anonymous Fri May 27 17:38:34 2011 No.1807883 >>1807852 What aspect of the story will you focus on? Tell us more about this person, he needs to be something other than just a regular human. >6/10

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/lit/ - Literature