/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.17992445]

1.5 years and I'm still not over my first love - my first serious relationship, the woman whom I still hold dear for a reason I can't describe
any literature about this? is the first love really always the only true one?

and no, I'm not underage b&, just an ex-incel who made it at 24 (I'm 27 now)

[Anonymous No.17992457]

>>17992445
You never get over the first love, you just move on.

[Anonymous No.17992467]

>>17992457
This. I still think about my high school gf even a decade later.

[Anonymous No.17992483]

Its because youre meant to have only one partner in your life. Eternal broken heart is the punishment for indulging the evil zeitgeist

[Anonymous No.17992485]

>>17992445
The quality of this board is about 1/10 atm, a sharp decline from its peak of 3/10.

[Anonymous No.17992514]

>>17992485
>incel seething because he missed out on young love

[Anonymous No.17992521]

>>17992457
I really wish it happened in my teenage years. The world split apart afterwards; all the different paths in the country and life everyone takes wipe the pages clean. The change of pace, place and behaviour that would help so much to move on in line with your physical self.

[Anonymous No.17992530]

>>17992521
I would say it would be easier later in life, you have other things to occupy you, in highschool there is nothing to do but dwell on it. In the end it is probably all the same.

[Anonymous No.17992537]

>>17992521
You can make changes like that happen if you think you need them mate

[Anonymous No.17992544]

>>17992445
I felt the same way about a girl once, then I went out there dated and fucked some cringy idiots but then I met this girl who was amazing, girl of my dreams! Everything I liked she liked and so yeah I am way happier now and she's wAaaaayyyy better than my other girl, there's better out there, just gotta lift, study and keep on looking

[Anonymous No.17992566]

>>17992544
I'm glad for you, anon.
It's unfortunate that this potential next match has become harder to find for people due to the quarantine and the reduced physical socialisation.

I tried Tinder but man.

[Anonymous No.17992584]

>>17992544
Same thing happened to me, yet I left her when she still wanted to be with me. I'm fucked up and I sabotage my own relationships.

[Anonymous No.17992593]

>>17992445
Dude. I'm 25 and still can't get over the girl I crushed on all throughout middle school and high school. I saw her on the first day of 6th grade (our lockers were next to each other) and I haven't gotten over her since. I at least got to take her to prom (although that experience was shit; she didn't want to be there with me), and I at least had a good talk with her about Dostoyevsky and Nabokov. But I still dream about her once a month at least, and I think about her every couple of days.

[Anonymous No.17992632]

your first love and the fallout is just your childhood egotism hitting the cold shower of reality, she is not your saviour, shes human and fallible as anyone other women, realise that quickly and hopefully the next person you meet will not be burdened with your immense selfish expectations , and you both will be happy together

[Anonymous No.17992644]

>>17992593
>able to talk about Dostoyevsky and Nabokov
>in high school
not to add to the injury, but she seems (or seemed?) okay

after almost a dozen dates with girls who read or "read", and only two read Nabokov: one almost his entire body of work, second only Lolita (didn't like it)

the first one seemed pretty cool, although extremely shy and insecure; I would probably love her anyway, but she showed no interest in continuing talking with me (she cited depression and work problems as a reason, but I doubt these were more than half-true excuses)

[Anonymous No.17992848]

>>17992467
I still dream about her sometimes, it's been 10 years

[Anonymous No.17992861]

>>17992848
Iktf

[Anonymous No.17992920]

>>17992861
>gfs
it could be worse, imagine thinking about your hot af hs crush after 5 years

[Anonymous No.17992992]

>>17992445
Read Lindyman. Men never really recover from breakups, but the best thing to do is keep busy. I'm still in love with the first person I fell in love with too.

[Anonymous No.17993013]

>>17992483
What if they die

[Anonymous No.17993014]

I feel like she was the only person who truly loved me in my entire life.

[Anonymous No.17993115]

>>17993013
then you are understandably sad. how can this be difficult to comprehend?

[Anonymous No.17993140]

>>17992445
>is the first love really always the only true one
Geez I hope not. My first love was a trashy mutt who self-identified as a Democratic Socialist. I feel like I wasted it

[Anonymous No.17993147]

>>17992445
6 years and counting anon, it never gets better

[Anonymous No.17993152]

>>17993140
That sounds like a truly American love.

[Anonymous No.17993164]

>>17992632
Based... thanks

[Anonymous No.17993417]

Last week its been 2 years since my breakup with my hs crush. I knew her for 9 years, dated 3. I still wake up thinking on making her breakfast as I used to. I cannot visit the places we used to without wanting to die, fuck I cant even Listen to a few of my fav bands anymore.

I tried to date a few girls but I don't feel anything, the emptiness after nutting is unbearable. I now try to occupy my days working, reading and making music. Weekends are unbearable tho.

[Anonymous No.17993500]

>>17992445
i'll just repeat it - you'll never get over her, m8
just get on with it
that's life

also read Kierkegaard.

[Anonymous No.17993651]

>>17993417
>I cannot visit the places we used to without wanting to die, fuck I cant even Listen to a few of my fav bands anymore.
Fuck, that hit me so hard. I know that feel so well, anon. You're not alone.

[Anonymous No.17993806]

>>17992632

This.

Wise words, based anon.

[Anonymous No.17993817]

>>17992632
What a totally moronic response! No wonder you're single.

My parents were married for 35 years before my father passed away. They met when they were 15.

[Anonymous No.17993835]

>>17993817

Those are the exceptions. He is right, every psycholoanalyst will tell you that your first big love is unrealistic expecations for uncoditional love like with your mommy. You don't know the first thing about playing the game or how you can get fucked over in future power plays. Relationships are not rainbows and sunshine.

Its better to get rejected a few times, have a fallout and then go into it a bit wiser and with more knowledge about what clicks. .

[Anonymous No.17993874]

>>17992445
yeah well it's been like 7 for me so ur doing alright

[Anonymous No.17993894]

>>17992445
women are not worth the feelings you have for them

[Anonymous No.17993912]

>>17992445
What is it about soviet style brutalist apartment blocks that look so comfy and soulful?

[Anonymous No.17993941]

At least you guys have those experiences to remember. I just turned 26 and I've never been intimate with a girl

[Anonymous No.17993956]

>>17992445
>>17992457
>>17992467
>>17992483
What the fuck are you faggots on about? I am completely over my first love (and it was REAL, I would fucking die for this person love) and hardly even think about them 8 years later. When I look back on those days I just cringe because of all the red flags I missed.

[Anonymous No.17993977]

>>17993417
>fuck I cant even Listen to a few of my fav bands anymore
an opposite curious heartbreak artefact: when listening to the albums you didn't "get" before, you might now realise what's it about
Blonded hit especially hard.

[Anonymous No.17994060]

>>17992445
Wow OP, are you me?

I also had this exact same experience
>be obese incel
>lose 75kg in 6 months through autistic dedication to weight lifting and extreme dieting
>lose my virginity on my 25th birthday to some random bitch I worked with
>go through a string of terrible dates because I’m 25 and don’t even have basic level understandings of male-female relationships people develop in middle school like boundaries
>meet one girl that I become completely enamoured with after an incredible first date
>its amazing at first while I’m able to wear the mask of a Chad but eventually it starts to slip and she begins to see through my facade that there are serious problems with me
>also can’t cope with the insane jealousy; baselessly accuse her of cheating, thinking about fucking other men etc etc
>can only hide my inner incel/NEET for so long
>we date for 9 months and I put her through hell with my severe OCD, low self esteem, depression, jealousy and general all around stunted social growth and autism
>have my yearly mental breakdown spurred by OCD fit that involves me driving to a bridge and threatening to fling myself off because I can’t take the symptoms
>eventually she reaches her limits, is deeply disturbed by this episode, has had enough and walks out

We were engaged too. My family loved her. Been a year and a half and I think about her every single day at least once.

[Anonymous No.17994106]

>>17993977
>in midst of gut wrenching heart break
>listening to country music station
>song comes on about guy imagining his ex fucking another man
>NOPE.jpg

Don’t get how people can listen to sad music when they’re depressed. It’s torturous and about as healthy I imagine as sticking your finger in a bullet wound.

[Anonymous No.17994139]

>>17994106
Kek seriously, country can be the most depressing genre there is. Half of it is about mentally broken guys killing themselves with booze and whining about their ex fucking other people.

[Anonymous No.17994147]

>>17993835
>psycholoanalyst
sorry i don't listen to pseudo-science

Call me a bullshit romantic but I feel that experience, age and maturity have nothing to do with the success or failure in love. It's pure luck and a little bit of common sense. I don't think you can actively make a relationship work.

[Anonymous No.17994152]

>>17992445
Fuck the faggot mods for letting threads like these fester all over this board.

[Anonymous No.17994202]

>>17994060
It appears that I am almost you indeed. I know two cases is anecdotal evidence but it seems like there's a tie-in with starting relationships in mid-20s and mental issues (maybe the latter affected the former in the first place, no idea)

[Anonymous No.17994276]

>>17992445
you don't get over it and you don't have to. you can love more than one person and in different ways.