Books about managing social and romantic isolation?

[Anonymous No.17939103]

>I don't hate women, nor do I feel entitled to their attention or affection. I am neither an incel nor a virgin.
>I don't think that I'm better than everybody else, just different.
>I'm not angry or vengeful at all, just a little confused.
I'm gradually coming to the realization that I'm probably going to be alone forever. I will probably never find "love". I will probably never have close friends. There is something fundamentally "wrong" with me that causes me to be repellent to other human beings (I'm not ugly, I'm not disfigured, I'm not a manlet, I don't have bad hygiene, I'm not a leeching bum, I don't say insane things in public)- there's just something about me that people dislike. This has been demonstrated to me all throughout my life. I'm always the person to be excluded, I'm always the person to bear the brunt of jokes, I'm always the fall guy. It's been like this since I was a child. Boohoo, poor me. I don't really care anymore and I'm long past losing sleep over this. I'm not depressed or about to lay down and rot, I just want to make a plan for the next couple decades of my life.

What I want to eventually come to know is: now what? The most common reason for people to live is because of their relationships with other people (wife, kids, family, friends). What does a life without any of these look like? Do I lean in to trying to find (a) God even though I'm thoroughly atheist? Do I go to the other side of the world and hope things are better there? Does anybody know any books that might equip me to navigate this world alone?

[Anonymous No.17939129]

Have sex

[Anonymous No.17939135]

>>17939129
>I am neither an incel nor a virgin.
learn to read

[Anonymous No.17939143]

>>17939135
Have more sex

[Anonymous No.17939150]

>>17939143
>be forced to wear a mask 24/7 in a LTR, take my chances on tinder sluts, or buy hookers
Maybe you should have sex. Pussy doesn't solve your problems.

[Anonymous No.17939158]

>>17939150
You sound like an asshole, no wonder no one likes you.

[Anonymous No.17939161]

>>17939158
Well didn't I say that?

[Anonymous No.17939185]

Houellebecq can be cathartic.

There's something animalistic and even malevolent about social interaction anyway. You've already seen some of it. Set you sights higher. You have interests other than socializing right?

[Anonymous No.17939199]

Living to learn is another option you should consider. Do you enjoy understanding things?

[Anonymous No.17939200]

>>17939185
>Houellebecq
Seen his stuff discussed on here before. Maybe I'll check him out.
>socializing
I have no interest in socializing now, hence my position. Chitchat, bar-hopping, lunch dates with people have always been profoundly dull and stilted. I mainly read and work nowadays. I've considered getting a dog.

[Anonymous No.17939212]

>>17939199
>Do you enjoy understanding things?
I really do, but I think I'm much more of a feeler/senser.

[Anonymous No.17939218]

I'm 25 in the same boat. I'm terrified of talking to women after years of humiliating experiences at school and sexual abuse at home. My therapist keeps pushing me to talk more, but it's impossible. I can only hope my brother marries his girlfriend and they eventually have kids, otherwise she's not getting grandkids.

[Anonymous No.17939231]

>>17939218
Sorry Anon. You should keep in mind that you don't OWE your parents grandchildren. It just doesn't work out for everyone.

[Anonymous No.17939236]

>>17939185
this pretty much. focus on higher interests, socialization will come along the way.
even if you're in a field that seems isolated, like writing. your writing process could involve talking to people to gain information. and all the activities that come along with publishing. just be honest about your intent to yourself.

[Anonymous No.17939237]

>>17939218
>I'm terrified of talking to women after years of humiliating experiences at school and sexual abuse at home.
Has this ruined your life? Are you a virgin? Have any plans to get married ever? How do you fill your days?

[Anonymous No.17939251]

>>17939185
Could someone elaborate on what’s so malevolent about socializing? Is it the power imbalance?

[Anonymous No.17939262]

>>17939251
It's a charade. You play a part in the ritual and then you take your costume off when the other person leaves. It's a shitty game.

[Anonymous No.17939269]

>>17939103
Idk how old you are. I'm guessing you're about 23, my age.

A few years ago I made the choice to be more "social". Before that, I was taking the easy way out by just "accepting" I was a loser who no one would ever like. Something woke me up to the fact that I was being a little bitch. I realised that forming relationships with other humans is the most OP strategy. I decided to work on it by reading all those books that famous sociopaths read, and then I read 19th century classic lit like Dosto and les mis.

I'm a lot better at socialising now than I used to be. It's not my aim in life, and I'm not one of those people who want everyone to like them. I just want to be true to myself, as faggy as it sounds. I think you've attained one aspect of forming relationships, which is not to care what people think of you and to just beee yourself. I don't think you're inherently bad, you're just /notliketheotherhumans/ and so you need to work harder to find a common link between yourself and others. I was adamantly atheist until a few years ago when I invented my own God and told him I'll do my best and prayed that if I do my best he'll guide me in the right direction. The best book for you doesn't exist. You need to make it for yourself.

With that said, maybe Zarathustra could help you.

[Anonymous No.17939296]

Im basically this and have no idea where to start fixing myself. It seems nothing comes naturally.

[Anonymous No.17939312]

>>17939296
fuck bros is there a /loomer/ reading chart?

[Anonymous No.17939338]

>>17939269
I'm 25, so close. I think we did things in the opposite order. All throughout college I tried to be social. Even made some "friends" with whom I would go out drinking, sit with in classes, talk to occasionally on the weekend, etc. I assume they more or less liked me but I simultaneously felt like a weird burden while also dreading any time they would ask me to go do stuff. Not sure what it was but my heart-rate would shoot up whenever my phone buzzed because I was worried they were going to ask me to do something. I wasn't even afraid of making a faux pas or anything like that, I just dreaded the constant possibility of a social irruption.

[Anonymous No.17939362]

>>17939212
For me the moments of greatest apprehension either fill me with a powerful feeling of appreciation for being born in an interesting universe, or I'm too busy being immersed in the process of learning to note or care about anything else. That FLOW is a state of bliss, and I think it unifies rationality and feeling in a way some call spiritual. I think other anons can generally back me up on this. These experiences might be fleeting and somewhat rare if you're undisciplined like me, but I think we could both agree social value is at least less reliable from personal experience.
Relating to the original thread topic I'm sorry but I can't think of any books I've read that cover this. I write about it frequently but I'm no author.

[Anonymous No.17939405]

>>17939231
I know, but my mom talks about it pretty frequently. She'll off handedly mention how much she looks forward to being a grandmother
>>17939237
It was chiefly at the hands of my dad, up until I was 16. It's made me terrified of authority figures and upsetting/disobeying them. I'm a virgin. I'd like to get married but I can't see myself maintaining a relationship, or even getting a woman who'd tolerate me enough to date me. I mostly play video games, read books, write, like a normal loser. Covid has made my already meager social life even more pathetic

[Anonymous No.17939409]

>>17939338
I don't dread socialising, I just find most outings to be inefficient and a waste of time. Sometimes it's fun, once every so often. I like to go out and talk to strangers like it's an rpg, it's good when it's in a place where there are too many people for you to ever see them again or be remembered. I deleted most social media and my phone is on silent 24/7 unless I'm expecting an important call. I enjoy being detached from the world, but I also understand that some people are worth knowing. I don't really do it for nepotism, nor am I a sycophant, I just try to surround myself with people who will be good for my professional or personal development.

I used to feel like a burden, but now other people feel more like the burden. My inner world is too rich and interesting for me to constantly be entertaining outsiders for their benefit alone. Maybe I'm just a sociopathic cunt. I don't get much fun from socialising in most contexts because either people are too sober to tell you much about themselves, or they're your friends and you already know something about them. People can be interesting, but generally I don't find it interesting when your favourite show is the mandalorian and you love dogs. Everyone loves dogs. I take a lot of words to say nothing at all. Thanks for listening.

[Anonymous No.17939428]

>>17939103

[Anonymous No.17939429]

unleash your inner schizo

[Anonymous No.17939460]

>>17939251
Like the other anon said, it's the charade. There's usually a flow of power in social interactions. A competition. I hope that this does not characterize all of them, but it seems to be operant a lot of the time.

[Anonymous No.17939503]

>>17939429
I've seen people on here be incessently mocked for claiming they have this but I unironically think I do. The problem is that it doesn't make a difference. There is no treatment (what am I gonna do- go on SSRIs forever?) so there's no sense in getting diagnosed. I probably have SPD- now what? Nothing.

[Anonymous No.17939533]

>>17939503
read rd laing

[Anonymous No.17939544]

>>17939533
Anything specific?

[Anonymous No.17939560]

>>17939544
the divided self
the politics of experience/the bird of paradise

[Anonymous No.17939561]

>>17939560
thank you

[Anonymous No.17939647]

I can sympathize. I’m not an incel nor a virgin. I’ve been with more than one girl and really sincerely truly loved at least one of those. Every single one left me so disappointed, so disaffected so profoundly feeling like I had been basically betrayed that I’ve come around the idea that even if I were to magically find “the girl” as I’m now looking on the horizon to thirty years old, it would just be a matter of time before she got bored and left, or divorced me, or whatever. The one who I loved the most and had the most hope for turned out to be the one who most easily and readily was willing to crush me and burn everything and walk away like I never even existed at a time where I really needed anyone, and had no one. Really, there is no such thing as love, or at least commitment, in this world that we live in. My mother didn’t have it for my father. The mother of my children wouldn’t have it for me. My parents’ divorce was so painful that I always told myself, I would never marry if it would just end in divorce. I now realize that means marriage is no longer an option. It’s simply depressing.

[Anonymous No.17939706]

>>17939647
>tfw you realize marriage really is a thing of the past

[Anonymous No.17939860]

>>17939103
Neville Goddard's books tell you that you are the God of your reality and that your feelings about being foreveralone is what caused you to be foreveralone.
If you shift away from the state of being foreveralone, you can attract to yourself love.

[Anonymous No.17939864]

>>17939860
just BEElieve

[Anonymous No.17939873]

>>17939429
>>17939503

[Anonymous No.17939888]

>>17939429
Kiyoaki from Spring Snow is a good representation of a schizoid

[Anonymous No.17939915]

>>17939103
Make yourself a big dream, and go for it. Normally when people talk about dreams is mostly shitty materialistic stuff and/or having a inner and outer peace; but having a dream is more than that, Calderón de la Barca write once
«What is life? a tale that is told;
What is life? a frenzy extreme,
A shadow of things that seem;
And the greatest good is but small,
That all life is a dream to all,
And that dreams themselves are a dream». (It's so much better in spanish for god sake)

Dreams are an essential part of life, in fact, are life by itself, your dream must be big, as big as you can think of, and then, no matter what, where or who, you will succeed, maybe not in the way of accomplishing your dream but rather living and making love with the process of it.

[Anonymous No.17940169]

>>17939915
Maybe I’m a fucking pleb but my “dream” is something like:
>not a wage slave, don’t work too much
>not poor, financially healthy
>lots of free time to read and learn
>no health problems
>cozy place to live
>safe neighbourhood
>frequent pussy
>healthy relationships with decent people
>have a few children (probably)
That’s pretty much all that comes to mind when I think of “my life’s dream”. I just want to avoid abject material, social, and psychological destitution.

[Anonymous No.17940506]

>>17939103
>I'm always the person to be excluded, I'm always the person to bear the brunt of jokes, I'm always the fall guy. It's been like this since I was a child.
Thats how most people feel. Nobody cares about you very much is the reality so don't worry about it.
The reality is that you're what Aristotle would term a natural slave. You lack intrinsic motivation to position yourself in a social hierarchy, and society has broken down to a point that you can no longer simply fall into a social role. This isn't negative or anything, most people are like this, but our society is uniquely alienating which leaves a lot of young people completely devoid of meaning.
Regardless of how you feel about meaning, its important to have duties in life. Rituals and obligations which have to be fulfilled, because in the repetition of those rituals you ennoble your life and create meaning in it. There's this idea that people should create meaning, but it's very hard to create rituals and obligations for yourself, and harder still to stick to them. This vacuum is why society is so lonely.
What you need is a natural master. Somebody who is capable of envisioning meaningful long term actions, and also of breaking them into concrete steps, obligations, and rituals.
I'm a lot like you. Moreso than you in fact, because I DO have bad hygiene, I AM a leeching bum, and I OFTEN say things which are too perceptive and wide-thinking for people to handle which has alienated several people. The real reason I'm repellent other human beings however, and I'm fully aware of this, is because I'm selfish, emotionally withdrawn in the extreme, and sometimes prone to violence.
All of what makes me an excellent natural master. I have a lot of ambitions and plans, and I can use people who have no real purpose of their own to serve me. To be the Quasimodo to my don Quixote, to put it in literary terms.
You don't need books. You need a strong man who will tell you what to do. If you're cute I'll even cure your incel problem.
>>17939218
You too, although I secretly suspect you're a woman.

[Anonymous No.17940523]

>>17939103
>I'm always the person to be excluded, I'm always the person to bear the brunt of jokes, I'm always the fall guy.
god that kind of mentality is so tiring to be around. enough with the self pity!

[Anonymous No.17940554]

>>17939103
Anon you must look into Dabrowskis theory on positive disintegration. He explains the NPC and how negative emotions are a catalyst for consciousness. Also how these emotions are quite necessary for your personality development.
https://www.positivedisintegration.com/Dabrowski201.pdf