Write What's On Your Mind

[Anonymous No.17899146]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5t1lBB3Vos

[Anonymous No.17899162]

To be, or not to be, that is the question.

[Anonymous No.17899197]

>>17899146
how did he look so good with that grey paint on his face

[Anonymous No.17899230]

>>17899197
its all in the eyes baby.

[Anonymous No.17899293]

>>17899146
It's weird. I am relatively happy with my own personal life and choices, but I am unhappy with the world at large and the way it is headed. I can try to tune out the outside world and create my little island of happiness, but that seems fake, like a coping mechanism.

[Anonymous No.17899335]

>>17899293
>but that seems fake, like a coping mechanism.
Yeah stop thinking about that or you'll kill it. Go away and save yourself. Don't read philosophy. If you have happiness don't let it go for anything, even the truth.

[Anonymous No.17899355]

>>17899335
>Don't read philosophy.
I don't lmao

My current melancholy is a result of watching this documentary last night about Anglo-American interventions in the Middle East, particularly in Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. It was a rather depressing affair, and some of the footage depicting the war and tortures was hard to watch. I try to avoid gory things but that documentary had a lot of it.

[Anonymous No.17899369]

>neet
>almost 30
>neurotic
>living with parents
>find no meaning in my life
>cowardly
>no experience regarding sexual stuff
>wasted 5 years in a field i didnt like from the start
>wasted 5 years after uni graduation
>still hope that somewhere exists a book, chapter, passage or atleast a sentence which will resonate with my weak will and destroy the cage i sit in
im probably the most pathetic and delusional person in this thread and possibly the board.

[Anonymous No.17899370]

to the anon who reccomended YIFFY, THANK YOU! I've spent the last few days downloading all the kino that I wanted to see. Cheers!

[Anonymous No.17899373]

>>17899293
Are you me. I am trying really hard to be positive because my life is pretty good. But I do not like any of the current societal currents that have emerged in the last decade.
Reading Nietzsche helped quite a bit with this. I do not see any other way other than creating your own values and living on your own "island" with a selected group of like-minded peers.

[Anonymous No.17899377]

>>17899369
Soon you will lose that hope too, then what will you do?

[Anonymous No.17899393]

>>17899369
>exists a book, chapter, passage or atleast a sentence which will resonate with my weak will and destroy the cage i sit in
You need to break free of it yourself, anon. I know it's easy for me to say and much harder for you to do, but actions, not books, are the way to make progress.

[Anonymous No.17899411]

>>17899369
If you want something, the only way you'll get it is if you take action. If you want self-respect you have to earn it for yourself.

[Anonymous No.17899568]

>>17899393
>>17899411
I honestly dont know what i want (i feel like its an indescribable thing), not what i should want according to others. I know that im a burden to my family.

[Anonymous No.17899577]

>>17899568
Do you have hobbiws? Interests?

[Anonymous No.17899752]

>>17899568
>i feel like its an indescribable thing
Just try anyway

[Anonymous No.17899769]

I’m going to be a vtuber

[Anonymous No.17899794]

I am GOING to make friends this year whether they like it or not and NOBODY can stop me!

[Anonymous No.17899800]

>>17899369
Quran

[Anonymous No.17899853]

>>17899146
I need to watch High Rise again. What a film. I’m surprised so many people disliked it.

[Anonymous No.17899865]

My life is too eccentric and unrelatable to fit in with normalfags but also not interesting or active enough to write about.

[Anonymous No.17899869]

>>17899794
Im rooting for you. I hope you make all the friends

[Anonymous No.17899910]

I mean, give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just abandon it all and try to make it as a vtuber.

[Anonymous No.17899913]

>>17899910
No need to abandon it all, just get an avatar and try weekend streaming for a while

[Anonymous No.17899951]

>>17899865
Do you watch anime

[Anonymous No.17900000]

>>17899913
I don’t even play video games often. I’m just going to do this because why not?

[Anonymous No.17900003]

>>17900000
Wasted

[Anonymous No.17900009]

It is my birthday today and it's very interesting to see increasingly less people wish me a happy birthday each year on my facebook wall. While I was in highschool, despite being a loner, at least 10 people would wish me a happy birthday. But nowadays only 2 people, one an under classman and another I haven't spoken to since middle school, have wished me a happy birthday. I suppose this is natural as wishing your peers a happy birthday is more of a ritual and not an indication of friendship, but it's still pitiful to be in this situation.

[Anonymous No.17900014]

>>17900000
Give me those zeros right now. I’ll make them worthwhile. *ahem*
I hate females.

[Anonymous No.17900026]

>>17900000 sheit
>>17999999

[Anonymous No.17900071]

>>17899794
Fuck yeah

[Anonymous No.17900182]

>>17900009
Happy birthday anon
But also don't be retarded, who gives a fuck who is posting on your fb wall. In fact, who in our generation still uses facebook?

[Anonymous No.17900184]

This board is fucking dead and the mods killed it.

[Anonymous No.17900223]

>>17900009
No one uses Facebook anymore. Wishing a happy birthday on your wall was only thing for a small window of time.

[Anonymous No.17900244]

>>17900009
my work does those stupid happy birthday emails and they literally forgot to include me lmao. i give up

[Anonymous No.17900297]

We live in a sexiety, asexuals rise up!

[Anonymous No.17900647]

>>17900000
waste

[Anonymous No.17900685]

I feel that in the future, languages outside of English or Mandarin will become hobbyist things, where people only learn new languages for cultural or artistic reasons. I dunno how to feel about this. Given how many people there are, it is certain that pretty much every language of note today will have a community of people interested in it in the future, but still.

[Anonymous No.17900698]

>>17899369
>im probably the most pathetic and delusional person in this thread and possibly the board
If these threads are any indication, you're exactly like the rest of us. In fact, we might all be the same person.

[Anonymous No.17900730]

>>17900685
I'm learning japanese so I've got my hands full with that for a few years.

Learning mandarin could be useful from a business perspective but I'd rather learn a language that I'll enjoy more. I really dislike mandarin.

[Anonymous No.17900743]

>>17900730
>I'd rather learn a language that I'll enjoy more
I'm saying you are the language learner of the future. People will learn languages as a hobby or for the sake of the language itself. The age of learning a language out of need is over for most of us. Maybe in the far future, the only people who learn languages will be people who really like the languages they learn for aesthetic/artistic reasons.

[Anonymous No.17900979]

>>17900685
>not learning Cantonese
You haven't thought this through.

[Anonymous No.17900980]

There is a lot to worry about right now, but for some reason a calm washes over me. Everything will be ok. I am going to go eat some rice.

P.S.
Is captcha different for you guys? No horizontal lines on some of them.

[Anonymous No.17900986]

>>17900730
>learning a language for sexual cartoons
cringe

[Anonymous No.17901023]

>>17899393
>>17899411
This. Just go outside and start moving objects around. I try to move 1 object a day minimum. On days where I have more free time I can even manage to move hundreds of them. My life felt aimless before but now every time I walk through my neighborhood I see my moved objects. I see the order I have created. You can do this anon. Become the object mover.

[Anonymous No.17901068]

>>17900979
You misunderstand me. I am saying that outside of "global language", other languages will become the province of writers/artists who use them for artistic or personal reasons.

[Anonymous No.17901212]

me desu

[Anonymous No.17901342]

>>17901068
You misunderstand where most of the money is in China.

[Anonymous No.17901359]

>>17901212
based

[Anonymous No.17901398]

>>17899369
I resonate towards people like you. Probably because I find the most of myself in these posts. People always preach self improvement and to decide to better your life. What if I just don't see any reason to improve? What if secretly I don't want a better life? What if I love being broken? That's kind of what I feel most of the time.

[Anonymous No.17901411]

>>17899369
incredibly based

[Anonymous No.17901496]

I am at a desperate impasse. I wanted to write a novel in the beginning of 2019, but realized, despite the knowledge I had of literature, of structure, and of writing, I had little in the way of subject matter. I drop out of university, needing to up my grades to get into the department I want, and so I have time to neet out. Now for the past year and a couple months I have had a ravenous media diet, expanding from what people consider typically very good, perhaps even high art, to futanari matriarchal space society rape doujins, all to get an idea of what can I write about, what can I take an inject my thought, my observations, and my ideas into. I have found myself engaging in books on the tarot, the works of Marshall McLuhan, a lot of Type-Moon, Lolita (Nabokov in general), history books on Indonesia and India, business management textbooks, terribly written fanfiction, my highschool maths textbooks laying about, the Bible, Moby Dick, my mom's purple sex smut romances she keeps around, phonebooks, Frankie and Grace, a book on masturbation for Christian youths,my sister's suicide notes -- literally anything and everything my mind can latch onto, soak up, and scrounge through (anime, movies, series, other books, comics, and much more). I've taken copious notes to connect all the strange, unusual, and evocative thoughts, patterns, and themes, in an attempt to understand the human mind better in its various interplays of wealth, spirituality, biology, socializing, and other societal things.

And yet, my grammar and style notably worsening over the past 2 years, I have realized perhaps I have dug myself into a hole. I still don't know what I want to write. I have no idea where to even begin regarding ideas and concepts. I don't even know how to structure a basic sequence of actions in my mind anymore. It feels like I'm staring at a blank canvas, trying to compartmentalize and/or synthesize all my observations, my ideas together. I wonder if it's simply shame holding me back from embracing writing about these things in unabashed, freakish ways, ambitions of wanting to create something helpful and solid; wonder if it's that I simply lack talent entirely, that this has all been my initiation into becoming a database; wonder if I'm perhaps just too stressed out.

[Anonymous No.17901507]

>>17901359
it's quite the opposite

[Anonymous No.17901626]

dude i have no energy lately

[Anonymous No.17901656]

>>17901496
It sounds like you’re thinking yourself into knots. Sometimes writing is more about emotion, aesthetic experience, than anything rational. Either way, I can sympathize with the feeling. I get it myself. All these thoughts and no clear way to turn it into a story.

What did you think of the fate series?

[Anonymous No.17901662]

I’m a poser, a fraud. I’ll never amount to anything. This world never needed me and that’s not going to change. Why didn’t I just grow up? Why didn’t I get wise when I was younger? All this wasted fucking time and for what? Nothing.

[Anonymous No.17901664]

>https://news.gallup.com/poll/341963/church-membership-falls-below-majority-first-time.aspx
>U.S. Church Membership Falls Below Majority for First Time

interesting stats in there, biggest loss was with catholics down 18%. but an unexpected stat was that church attendance dropped more among people without college degrees than with. i know there are ppl on /lit/ who are unironically religious so what's ur take on this? or general opinion on implications for america?

[Anonymous No.17901666]

Need me a bad bih, finest PAWG (ideally with jewish genes too, asian is based too) Goth thottie equipped with the meanest throat, spit and slurp-game rivaling Cleopatra, sitting on her feet in front of me on a large pink dog bed under my gamingdesk in her chinese-made kneesocks and string bikini, worshipping my groin with her forked tongue while I lose another game of League of Legends.

[Anonymous No.17901692]

>>17901664
I attend a house of worship fairly regularly, but there is no attendance recording or membership. That said, I think it reflects the rise of atheism/passive faith in the country. I don't think America will be mostly atheist, ever, but I do think at some point religion for most people will be "I believe in God, I do good deeds, and I want to go to Heaven", etc.

[Anonymous No.17901790]

>>17901656
>It sounds like you’re thinking yourself into knots.
It feels like that sometimes, other times it's more like a long parallel track of strings.
>All these thoughts and no clear way to turn it into a story.
I feel like there's a watchdog inside of me, checking me everytime I try to think in a way that isn't "go from point A to point B to point C" - done this way? boring. unfashionable. consider tombstone quips as work. so I begin to think in other modes of thought, like how to depict a murder mystery without necessarily incorporating time into the plot, or an assassination of one's self plotted out by their 5 year old self, having set the pieces of the plot in place at that age for their future self, with their death coming as a lurching inevitability. Then my mind wonders and wonders and wonders, coming up with various avenues on how to explore and approach this plot (it having been lined out at this point), thinking to myself "perhaps I should try to do something to portray it like a Greek play, how the gods, or perhaps inevitability/fate is a stronger concept here, have set the course of these actions to be something that even the very rocks of the earth have orchestrated". I start adding this into the outline and several other ideas, occasionally writing them, then realizing no one will read these, and burning my papers. I keep some short stories online, but they're mostly a way to keep myself going.
>What did you think of the fate series?
Terrible, waste of time. Some neat ideas here and there I could go into, like, say, Shirou from Fate/Stay Night and his absurdly self-destructive desire to save others and its cause of perceiving himself to have no reason to live beyond servitude due to survivor's guilt, and how his narration, personal imagery, and climactic scenes serve to enforce his mechanical, one-tracked mind. Or perhaps I could look into Kirei as a foil of sorts, a man lack in sensuous fulfilment, burdened by norms and creed, desiring to find a reason to be. There are many other similar interesting conflicts and concepts thrown around like a firehosed bukkake on a shitcake, but they're not given the respect they deserve outside of a few scenes. Special mention of Fate Grand Order, which I believe is the final form of entertainment for the uncritical mind of the average weeb consumer - the structure of it encourages perpetual boredom, the community encourages a tribalistic competitiveness over the success of chance, the "stories" are so dull and vapid you are hard pressed to believe this is a thing many are professed to expend time and energy on. Thing reeks of, for lack of a more appropriate and less emotive word here, demonic energies, Lotus-eating den. Perhaps it might be a quicker summary to say it's Pokemon without the pretense of easily digestible childhood innocence.

[Anonymous No.17901810]

She cancelled on short notice fuck me why do they do this

[Anonymous No.17901838]

Today was day 30 of nofap. One of my coworkers approached me as I was having a cigarette on my lunch. She hugged me. Soon it became sexual. I grabbed her from behind and dry humped her for one to two minutes. I came in my pants. Spent the rest of my shift with a semen stain on my pants. The load was immense. It seemed that no one noticed fortunately. I'm pissed. This girl was basically a vampire. I'm going to avoid her as much as possible. I just deleted her number.

[Anonymous No.17902014]

girls panties, I want to smell them

[Anonymous No.17902071]

>>17901838
i think i'm gonna do a like a two week detox

[Anonymous No.17902081]

>>17901838
this did not happen

[Anonymous No.17902106]

People hold many opinions for the simple sake of feeling better about themselves for having them.

[Anonymous No.17902109]

>>17899146
I've been thinking about Hinduism and it's starting to make a lot of sense.

[Anonymous No.17902119]

>>17899577
I guess reading could be described as an interest and thats pretty much it. I tried bunch of activities in school but nothing managed to stick with me for a longer time.

[Anonymous No.17902221]

>>17902071
>two week detox
What do you mean?
>>17902081
Unfortunately it did. I'm washing my pants right now. I really hope they're not permanently stained because they cost me about 30$. This girl also has a boyfriend.

[Anonymous No.17902223]

This waw inside a book I bought. whar it say

[Anonymous No.17902240]

>>17902223
>Dear John and dear Annegret, we wish you a great journey and quite a lot of sunshine. Grandma and Grandpa

[Anonymous No.17902246]

>>17902240
thanks dude

[Anonymous No.17902251]

>>17902240
I have a book my grandfather bought me, I can't imagine ever selling it. It might sound foolish, but I feel like it's something that I have of him. He passed away three years ago, and I don't want to let go of this little piece of him.

[Anonymous No.17902255]

>>17899146
I fear mental illness is finally starting to take root and I'm afraid about what's going to happen. I finally got a job and got rid of my debt, but this has done nothing but make me much more anxious and depressed. I think it's because I finally left that kind of limbo I had been in for an entire decade where I just thought things would sort themselves out eventually, or that "tomorrow was the day", and now that the day's come I realize how much time I've lost, how much I've left my life go to shit, how little I have, how little I know and how much I've let pass me by. I want to scream, I want to cry and quite frankly fucking kill myself. I realize now I'm never, ever going to get over the lost decade that were my 20s, and I don't want the half assed life that awaits me, I don't want to live always thinking of what could have been.

[Anonymous No.17902290]

>>17901838
>>17902071
>>17902081
>>17902221
Update: all the clothing I washed with my pants feel vaguely more smooth than normal, which leads me to believe the semen did not properly wash out and instead has now permeated all my clothing. I'm repulsed; yet, I'll still wear these clothes because I'm too lazy to rewash them.

[Anonymous No.17902312]

>>17901666
long time since I read a post radiating this much virgin energy

[Anonymous No.17902485]

Years of living in solitude, I've successfully made myself believe that my parents set me up for an arranged marriage and that I'll be meeting her in the near future. I knew I was doing it simply out of loneliness. But I'm starting to think it's true, it's the greatest cope I've come up to. I feel ridiculously happy, for now at least.

[Anonymous No.17902486]

why is it only girls who lie on the bed like this?

[Anonymous No.17902625]

All these things are a search for meaning. The books I buy, telling me ways to live and find happiness in places not as abstract as they seem. The art on my walls, trying to evoke an emotion or drive me toward a calling. The crucifix and artifacts that I pray over in the hope that I will be enveloped by some grace or unlock some truth; they may not. Looking up the girl online who at the store spoke kindlier and intimately than others. The dating applications I subscribe to, thinking that the presence of another will give me the missing pieces I already have.
No woman completes a man, nor man a woman; they never will be whole thinking that way. Longing is not meaning, and longing for meaning is not living.
I am living longingly, surrounded by the hope of meaning.

[Anonymous No.17902657]

>>17902625
in my country we call this the beetroot. the beetroot our symbol for this feeling. science has finally caught up with this, they have detected a field of energy around beetroot and you know i can you see the beetroot field of energy hope of meaning and longing. sometimes the things my ancestors discovered astounds me.

[Anonymous No.17902716]

>>17902486
I lie on bed like this and im a guy.

[Anonymous No.17902742]

i miss being a teenager full of rage and confusion hopes and dreams. i've sort of found my place in the world and i'm pretty happy with it. but it all seems like the same now. a predictable cycle of work and reward to the grave. i miss those long nights of wandering for lack of what else to do. i have responsibilities now, and lack the great desire to get out and just do whatever no matter what that was.

to face this on my own
well i guess this is growing up

[Anonymous No.17902748]

>>17902716
looking forward to your gender reveal party

[Anonymous No.17902777]

>>17902748
lel, its just comfortable.

[Anonymous No.17902836]

I'm attracted to men but faggotry is disgusting. A man who isn't content with merely thinking about faggotry and actually puts it into practice is no longer a man (except in truly exceptional cases, of which only a handful exist) and therefore I can't ever be attracted to him again from the moment he lets slip his attraction to me. I guess I'll have to be content with fantasizing about shooting a nice Chadly body full of arrows, like 12 year old Mishima. It's not so bad, Catholicism is vastly oversaturated with martyrs and it would take 2 lifetimes to coom to them all.

[Anonymous No.17902867]

>>17902716
*im a gay

[Anonymous No.17903250]

>>17902867
i wish, it would be so much easier than with girls.

[Anonymous No.17903328]

Revenge.
https://streamable.com/8cklrr

[Anonymous No.17903410]

>>17901810
sry king

[Anonymous No.17903426]

>>17899146
Dark

[Anonymous No.17903440]

>>17899369
Welcome come to 4chan, you're not the only special motherfucker

[Anonymous No.17903481]

whenever government agencies treat me with dignity it gives me such joy. they would have gotten away with less. I just quit my countrys unemployment agency because I'm studying, and they sent a letter wishing me good luck at uni. I thought that was nice, and definitely above and beyond.

ok the purpose of the letter was to inform me that I had formally left their services, but still

[Anonymous No.17903518]

Oh I can't win

[Anonymous No.17903530]

>>17899951
No. He clearly READs THE VN, if his attached image is anything to go by.

[Anonymous No.17903543]

>>17901496
Read Seneca Minor's second letter to Lucilius.

[Anonymous No.17903556]

the inescapable conclusion is that the bhagavad gita is the middle way. in the non-canonical gospel of Thomas one of Jesus' saying is develoepd. Here he says "Give unto Caesar that which is Caesars; give unto God that which is Gods and give unto me that which is mine". I understand this to mean "respect that you live in an economic/power-order; respect that you live in a social order, and respect that the true you is unbound". This is very close to the Gita, as far as I understand. If one does not rigidly view it as espousing a particular caste-order (which is not hard) then it could possibly be well applicable for modern life. I have spent a couple of years trying to integrate with abrahamic tradition, but these traditions carry a political history that is hard or impossible to apply now. And the thing is that it seems the abrahamic traditions give a holistic method to foster you and your society into a certain understanding, whereas the Gita just kind of tells you the understanding as plainly as possible. Re-birth is in this life. True life doesn't die. Action is not yours but can be annexed (causing birth). Action can not be fought, but one can refrain from claiming it by realising that the fruits of action are not ones to take. The true you is not the psychological functions that are apparent to you: they are as streams while you are as the unmoving depth of the ocean. Give unto me. Karma, causing re-birth is the result of claiming the results of actions, causing an identity other than the depth.

The only apparent question is which exoteric method best respects and reinforces this knowledge.

[Anonymous No.17903592]

It's astonishing the absolute state of Western culture. Universities, internet communities, private communities, they all completely failed. Sterile critiques, everything is thought about in one narrow framework, mediocre garbage is praised, people are scared to speak their minds or their minds have been completely sterilized by endless propaganda. What a fucking death spiral.

[Anonymous No.17903719]

>>17903592
What happens when the dead body hits the ground?

[Anonymous No.17903840]

Most of my free time is spent sublimating extreme pent aggression

[Anonymous No.17903901]

>>17903592
It’s not as bad in Europe as it is in the United States and Canada. Still, Europe’s problem is that it is essentially a museum.

[Anonymous No.17903928]

>>17903592
It's alright once you stop caring and just call it out. Bobby Fischer/Frank Zappa mindset

[Anonymous No.17903962]

Work induced creative anemia and lack of inspiration.

[Anonymous No.17904020]

I've been watching footage of anti-asian hate crimes recently (almost invariably perpetrated by blacks btw) and it strikes me how often bystanders just sit there and watch or merely record it nearly every time. The least you could do is yell at the guy and tell him you have him on camera. I understand the hesitancy to rush into a melee against an unstable violent lunatic, but all it takes is one decisive blindside to disorient and knock someone over and beat them on the ground. Especially if there is a group of people willing to do it. It's crazy how dissociated from reality everyone in this society is. Both the lunatic who blames random asians for COVID, and the bystanders who watch it unfold as if it were a movie. Finally also the leftist activists who, unable to process minority on minority violence, are unable to face reality and instead blame white supremacy in a completely counterproductive and misleading spin on the facts. It fries their circuits that the skin tone of those perpetrating the violence tend to be a darker shade than those who fit their narrative.

[Anonymous No.17904048]

>>17903840
Weeb shit like that is unironically great lifting music because of its fast tempo and energetic, cute, uplifting vocals.

[Anonymous No.17904057]

>>17904020
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect

[Anonymous No.17904077]

>>17904020
I saw one of these last night, where a person was whaling on some ricecel on the subway. the pussies just sitting there with their masks on trying to ignore it were even more upsetting to me than the violence itself. i then read the comments and it was all white people saying stuff like "he probably said the n word" and "without proper context we can't judge"

[Anonymous No.17904415]

>>17899146
For the last several months I have been on such a creative ride I couldn't believe it. Most of my work is writing essays and I spewed out a dozen pages some days and I was absolutely astonished at how well it was all written.

About a week ago it just did not come out of me anymore, for whatever reason. I tried to write some commentaries on two social realists but my pencil was not moving at all. Stuck in this situation since then and no matter how much I read to gain inspiration, the pencil does not move.

[Anonymous No.17904448]

>>17904077
Probably the worst one I saw was this big brute kicking an elderly woman in the chest and then kicking her several times while she was on the ground in the head. Two security guards in the nearby building just stood there and watched, not even bothering to call the police. And then one walks over and closes the door! Also many of these are happening in NYC which whose hellish residents are notoriously indifferent to the suffering of others.
I get it that a giant raging man who could easily have a weapon on them isn't the most appealing prospect to fight. But there was two of them, and they could have at least yelled to snapped pics of him to show the police. Who wants to live in a society where anyone can just be assaulted in broad daylight while nobody does anything?

[Anonymous No.17904477]

the whole function of the mental and emotional world, indeed of the whole world of things is action. The only use of sight is action. The end result of despair and joy: action. The use of the feel of your foot against the ground: action. Knowing and action are intimately woven together. I don't know that there can be any knowledge but that it pertains to action. Perhaps such knowledge that leads to mental exertion, but then the use of mental exertion is changing ones mode of life according to the new insights gained. Even if the outward of ones life remains unchanged, its spirit has changed, and therefore its goal. Therefore the whole action is changed. What is there that is not caught in this web of events? What is there that I have that does not solely pertain to pulling me forward through time?

[Anonymous No.17904484]

>>17904077
It's so interesting how self-flagellating some whites are.

[Anonymous No.17904485]

>>17904477
>The only use of sight is action.
you may say that the end result of sight is beauty, and that this is an end to itself. I would say that beauty drives action, as much as every attraction and repulsion does the same.

[Anonymous No.17904521]

>starting to fall for the non-binary ("enbie") meme
oh no oh no oh no
but at the same time it makes so much sense wtf all these years of feeling like I didn't want to be a man but didn't want to be trans either

[Anonymous No.17904607]

What is the point of reading when my posterior delts are visible?
>>17904521
Post your smooth shaven thighs

[Anonymous No.17904691]

Saint Augustines Confessions got me feeling something

[Anonymous No.17904716]

I just read books without any aspiration to be a writer. I guess it would be nice to be one but i've had any pronounced desire to be one.

[Anonymous No.17904875]

>>17904020
did you see the one on subway where the asian guy tried to fight back but he got beat down and choked out and left unconscious on the floor? what happened to all the people marching "in solidarity" with asians after that psycho protestant shot up those massages parlors? this is the cover of today's nypost

[Anonymous No.17904890]

>>17899146
>2018
>start writing a post-apoc book
>apocolypse was a virus
>2020
>everyone is going to think I'm just trying to cash in on corona-chan
this is awful

[Anonymous No.17904932]

>>17904448
honestly i kind of think it's a fake media made narrative. that demographic has always committed acts of random violence on the vulnerable, but now deblasio and blm has enabled them. look at what happened to rick moranis. that was just violent thugs doing violent thug things.

[Anonymous No.17904937]

>>17904716
That was me until I was about 25 and now I deeply deeply regret it.

[Anonymous No.17904956]

>>17904020
I'm pretty sure the anti-asian hate crime spree is mostly fabricated by the media. Dictated by a racial activist agenda, they go out and find events and describe them in a way that fits their narrative while ignoring the reality of the events, their meaning, and anything else that doesn't fit. Just ask yourself: why would people spazz out and attack Asians because of covid now, a whole year after the pandemic started? It makes no sense. In the case of New York City (where I live) the attacks you do see in the news mostly come down to psychotic homeless people, no more no less, who have been constantly attacking people, killing each other, and pushing people into oncoming subway trains since last summer with impunity. If anything, they are targeting Asians more because of the increased attention to hate crimes in the media.

[Anonymous No.17904968]

>>17899146
I got into medical school...now what

[Anonymous No.17904995]

>>17904484
It pisses me off. I once watched a clip of these Whites literally kissing the boots of some BLM Black people, and all I could think was, "My ancestors lost to THIS?". Personally, I've decided that the Whites of the past (prehistory to 1945) and the Whites of now (1945 to today) are different races, in mental/spiritual terms. I have hard feelings towards the old race, but a certain level of respect for all they accomplished. I feel kind of bad for the new Whites. It's like looking at a robin and realizing it descends from literal dinosaurs.

[Anonymous No.17905016]

>>17899146
I find I care deeply about how I am perceived to the extent that it affects who I date officially (it's pathetic I know). I think I'm personable and I love people around me but I find that I cannot form new relationships. I form a judgement about people immediately and then J avoid pursuing the relationship further. It's not a negative judgement as such but a feeling of letting go.

[Anonymous No.17905044]

>volkswagen changes name to voltswagen
it's not april 1st for 2 more days wtf is this for real

[Anonymous No.17905049]

>>17904521
Same anon, I've been zig zagging between thoughts of killing myself and getting on hormones. I didn't want it to be like this but I'd probably be a lot happier if I did.

[Anonymous No.17905069]

>>17905044
Only for the American branding

[Anonymous No.17905210]

I feel have all the colours on an easel but no brush and my canvas is a cave wall

[Anonymous No.17905255]

I miss my friends, but I know those relationships are all rotting away.
I miss going to an office, but I know I hated it when I used to go.
I miss going to restaurants, but I know I was getting fat.
I miss going to bars, but I know I would just get too drunk.
I feel like I've been blaming all my problems on the isolation of the pandemic, but I know it's just a fundamental problem with myself. I should be content. Life will soon go back to normal. But since I lost my job and had to start my own practice the bills aren't being paid. Clients aren't coming in. All my friends from school hate their jobs but at least they know they have jobs and work to do.
I should be reading or doing specifically fun things, but instead I refresh this god forsaken website because my brain won't let me have fun until I finish my work, but I don't want to do my work. Like a magnet pushing away from another magnet.
I wake up late.
I go to bed late.
I haven't been to the gym in two years.
I used to be strong, now I've become fat and rip my pants if I bend over wrong, but I don't think I can afford new pants.
I wish everything didn't make me angry.
I wish I could just take things for face value instead of over analyzing it all down to some reductive reason to hate a given thing.
Knowledge is a burden.
I will never be good at anything.
I will be forgotten in a generation.
I miss the feeling of being loved.
The tragedy of my life is even a boring disappointment.

[Anonymous No.17906036]

why do women come to 4chan, never post anything original or involving effort, but reply to random posts they don't like with "gross" and such

what a strange existence it must be, is it that they can't conceive of creating anything themselves? but don't they understand that they are then reliant on other people's creations? or do they think that everything in the world is simply "given," do they think every person is just wandering around reacting to things, by their sharing unsolicited emotional responses, and that's what it means to be a person

[Anonymous No.17906059]

>>17906036
why do men come to 4chan, never post anything original or involving effort, but reply to random posts they like with "based" and such

what a strange existence it must be, is it that they can't conceive of creating anything themselves? but don't they understand that they are then reliant on other people's creations? or do they think that everything in the world is simply "given," do they think every person is just wandering around reacting to things, by their sharing unsolicited emotional responses, and that's what it means to be a person

[Anonymous No.17906071]

>>17906036
Did you get rejected by a femanon on /soc/ or something lol

[Anonymous No.17906121]

> want to be a novelist
> didn’t realize this until I firmly implanted myself into debt slavery and the corporate rat race
> realize it will take at least 10 years or more to write anything worth publishing
> contemplate suicide
I need out immediately.

[Anonymous No.17906132]

>>17906121
Take the short story pill anon. That writing format is more suited for a lifestyle where you're working.

[Anonymous No.17906135]

>>17906121
start writing, fagoid. and every time you feel 'too tired' remember this fucking face smiling smugly at you, saying "i did it."

[Anonymous No.17906184]

>>17904937
But you didnt know that before being 25 or 20.

[Anonymous No.17906189]

>>17906059
golden mean fallacy, it's a matter of degree

[Anonymous No.17906195]

>>17906071
>pussy the only value of women is pussy pussy pussy pussy
I know this already, you don't need to state it every time someone says something bad about your sex

[Anonymous No.17906235]

>>17906195
I just ignore roasties when they do the typical "Lmao did you just not get a roastie to like you? t. roastie" post. It's 85% of what they say, you can't possibly respond to every instance.

It still does give me an uncanny feeling though. Like I can't put myself in their shoes. I can't imagine walking around, someone saying "hey Greg, stop blocking the bike lane!" and I go "Uhhh heh? Bet a LOT of Gregs must like you lmao. You must be reeeeal popular with Gregs. You just lost your chance to impress THIS Greg, bucko." I can't imagine it. I can't imagine feeling so important just for being Greg. Are there any esoteric theories that women arrived here on a rogue asteroid and are not actually native to this world?

[Anonymous No.17906252]

>>17906121
>trying to get rich by writing a novel
why don't you just save time and buy lottery tickets

[Anonymous No.17906475]

He sat down on his chair. The very same chair he had just recently spent 30 minutes, cock in hand, browsing various pornographic sites which aroused his monkey brain. He used to think of himself as a man of potential, but that vision, just as his will to live, was fading gradually. Where once he had made it a principle to reject comfort – to always be trying new things – he now was comfortable in his own unhappiness, and refused to feel otherwise. “But it’s not fair!!! That this is happening to me!!”, He would complain to the few that were willing to listen. It was a sad sight. A man wasting precious minutes on senseless internet browsing and at the same time very aware of the finite nature of life. What a horror indeed! But what rescued him from his rut, what put an end to his self-pity and destructive ways was:

[Anonymous No.17906512]

accidentally stumbled on monteverdi and it was surprisingly good (i'm not devout classical music fan, besides occasional listening)

[Anonymous No.17906525]

>>17906512
what did you listen to? the vespers are fucking amazing

[Anonymous No.17906569]

>>17906525
magnificat, madrigals book 7 and best of monteverdi

[Anonymous No.17906741]

>>17904521
most men dont want to be men, the burden is heavy af on all of us and the weaker of us start to wish we could be women.

Sad but true.

[Anonymous No.17906751]

>>17905049
Instead let go of all worries and simply just BE for a while.

Watch the world go by as a spectator and think about what everybody is doing and why. You'll find your answer.

[Anonymous No.17906752]

>>17906741
Yeah, thats true but even men partake in feminine acts but they dont base their personality around it.

[Anonymous No.17906765]

>>17906752
What is a feminine act?

[Anonymous No.17906776]

Does anyone have some advice regarding the fourth commandment and filial responsibility if, say, one parent has entered something of an adulterous downfall, initiated a “divorce”, and after cursing out his spouse loudly turns to speak to you in a softer voice and different tone as to garner respect. I’ve been autistic and oblivious all this time, and other than praying or fasting for my father’s return to his former nobility, I’m not sure what I should do. Duplicities and hypocrisies are starting to become distasteful to me. As a useless, quiet, NEET who accomplishes nothing I’m not sure I can do anything other than pray, fast, and show obedience and respect to my parents as I do. Favoritisms, duplicities, manifold vanities—it’s not in my interest and I prefer to retreat to my cave and study and cook and whatnot. I’m just proceeding as if nothing happened, and just as Catholic “divorce” doesn’t exist, so too it’s not like my filial duty of obedience has disappeared. But by silently helping out and being oblivious and obeying as usual, how do I not get interiorly aggravated by either parent trying to gain favoritism or sorrowful that my noble father has reached his downfall.

From a secular perspective, as a NEET who hasn’t lived the tough life I’m not taken seriously if I ever decide to give counsel to any parent (ex: to let go of vanities and adulteries) so I suppose all I can do is pray, fast, and remove my own vices. Seeing your parents descend into vanities of wealth and pleasure and trivialities is becoming tiresome. So I’ll just keep quiet, pray, fast, obey, and maybe end up in the military to gain independence.

[Anonymous No.17906847]

Why is it that I worry what the impact would be on my family and friends in the case of a suicide but I don’t worry about the same in the case of homicide or an otherwise natural or accidental death?

[Anonymous No.17906855]

>>17906184
Right but that doesn’t make it any less regretful especially if there’s a sense of “if I had just done X”.

[Anonymous No.17906932]

I wonder how I should rest in a way that favors God-awareness. I usually just browse meme with some show on in the background. but memes always get racey eventually, and I would rather describe this as tv-zombie consciousness, rather than God-consciousness. Meditation? It kind of feels like a chore right now to be honest. I really only want to be here, reading about your misery with eyes half closed. I fear this is somehow idolatrous. I don't know, it's the modern world, this is what we have. I don't know what I would have done in the old world. Sat by the fire, listen to Obongo tell stories. That would have been nice.

[Anonymous No.17906943]

>>17906855
this is your supervillain story anon. use it.

[Anonymous No.17906956]

>>17904020
>tfw live in country where everyone joins in the fight
We're mostly homogeneous too. There's a funny video of one drunk or drugged guy shouting abuse at a foreign student and two guys who hate drunks and drug addicts picking him up and throwing him in a river. The student thought they were anti racist but it's because the serious racists here are interested in only policing our race. None of the internet antiracists care they just threw a guy who probably can't swim into a river.

[Anonymous No.17906987]

>>17904968
read the House of God. just know that my doctor friend tells me it is a bit over the top

[Anonymous No.17906993]

I'm not sure how to start my essay. I kinda know what to say but I don't know how to begin.

[Anonymous No.17907023]

I was not like this a year ago. I was not like this a year ago, at all. I was a lot happier. I didn't feel worthless or hopeless. I felt somewhat better. But now, I feel like absolute garbage. I wasn't like this. I wasn't like this a year ago, and it really hurts. It really hurts to... sorry that my hair keeps getting in the way. It really hurts that this is how I am now. I didn't intend for this. I did not, at all. But it just happened. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to anybody that expected me to be a certain way, and that I kind of ruined those expectations by acting like this. I really do apologize. It's just been tough. And it's really hard. Um... can't really think of anything else to say. I don't know. I'm just not doing well, that's all. I'm really not doing well. And I feel trapped. That's all. Bye.

[Anonymous No.17907039]

>>17907023
fembrain detected

[Anonymous No.17907048]

>>17905255
>tfw no one even checked my dubs

[Anonymous No.17907070]

I don't think I want a partner. It's hard to see how I'd spend a lifetime like this, but I just don't see how anyone could fit in and day by day this life isn't bad. That said, whenever i have a shot with a woman I get completely absorbed. I'm curious if it will happen again. It's some kind of horniness I think. It is really nice not having to take anyone into account, but just dicking around and spending my days reading and contemplating

[Anonymous No.17907093]

>>17907023
phoneh

[Anonymous No.17907101]

>>17905255
Wasted

[Anonymous No.17907563]

>>17902625
Damn, the diamond in the rough I've been waiting for. Really like this idea anon

[Anonymous No.17907564]

so women keep beta orbiters because it feels good to feel desired. the question is, what does it really achieve that it feels good to feel desired? why is this a valid strat? is the good feeling and end in and of itself?

[Anonymous No.17907586]

>>17902625
You gotta find that lost sheep, but you gotta really fucking try man. You got plenty of the 99, it's just that one

[Anonymous No.17907621]

>>17907564
resources, and if things get bad then she can start dating orbiter for security.

[Anonymous No.17907635]

>>17907621
fair enough, good answer

[Anonymous No.17907668]

>>17907635
You shouldn't get overly invested in these cynical meme concepts though. They are partly true, but woman might also just be friends with the 'beta' guy because they like hanging out, nothing really more than that, people are social after all.

[Anonymous No.17907818]

How important is it for authors to be mentored by other successful authors?

[Anonymous No.17907854]

>>17907818
Depends. If what makes an author successful can be taught, then I suppose it is quite important. But I don't believe that.

[Anonymous No.17907934]

>>17907854
Reading through the biographies of a lot of my most admired authors in history they have 2 things in common:
1) they started pretty young
2) they were mentored by other successful writers
I’m taking this pretty severely as a man well into his late 20s who has neither, wouldn’t know how to get the 2nd, and obviously, doesn’t have a time machine.

[Anonymous No.17907963]

>>17907934
you dont need to be some revolutionary author to make a good or popular book. stop bogging yourself down with external factors and just write!!

[Anonymous No.17907982]

>only irl friend told me he's moving away this summer

[Anonymous No.17908009]

>>17907934
Look, neither one of those things (starting young and being mentored) is what made them successful. It was their work, dedication and some talent/vision/whatever. Sophocles had his dramatic debut in late 20s as well. You're smart enough to be able to educate yourself on what is it you want to write, eventually it might be useful to find likeminded people, some kind of group and such so they can motive you and critique you.

[Anonymous No.17908173]

I'm concerned

[Anonymous No.17908201]

Is it fine for justice to discriminate against AAVE speakers? They say justice is blind not deaf.

[Anonymous No.17908307]

How the heck do you identify your favorite author?

I’ve found a handful of authors who’s books really resonate with me. The thing is they all wrote in a language I don’t understand so I’m reading someone else’s interpretations at best and even so I fail to really pick one or two of them as standouts. Meanwhile, finding authors or books that resonate with me in my native language has been an exercise in futility.

[Anonymous No.17908324]

>>17908307
What do you mean? You can't tell whether you like a book? Try making a top list, like top 25 favorites or something.

[Anonymous No.17908415]

>>17908324
>What do you mean? You can't tell whether you like a book?
No. That’s not what I mean.

If I asked you to name some authors whose books resonate with you the most, would you be able to do it? What if I asked you to name just one or two?

[Anonymous No.17908456]

>>17908415
I could name some books that resonate with me, but those actually aren't even in my list of top favorites. To me my favorites are those that have the best rereadability, having enough depth to read again and again without tiring of it. There's books that resonate because of nostalgia or relatable experiences, but I wouldn't want to reread just on that alone, that could be the only thing good about the book.

[Anonymous No.17908476]

I was just thinking about my day. I had a free day from college but I planned on using this day to do some work from college anyway. But I didn't. Still (or maybe because of that) my day was great.
I woke early, meditated for 20 minutes, had a really nice coffe, read a book on tibetan psicology and then went to the supermarket with my mom. It was packed and I got that Covid paranoia, but I guess nothing happened (who knows). Got on a small fight with my gf that resulted on her coming to my place and begging for my forgiviness. I forgave her and she went home.
Then, on the afternoon I just wrote some poetry, sended some to a few online literature magazines and saved a few others to send my poems later.
After that I went to the field play some football with my brother and now I'm sipping some beer and waiting to go my gf place, where I'm going to get some deepthroat and cum on her tits. Thinking about the day now,
I guess I'm lucky; I guess life is good.

[Anonymous No.17908865]

>>17908307
having favorites is a pastime for children.

[Anonymous No.17908888]

meditation rules

[Anonymous No.17908896]

its all so tiring

[Anonymous No.17908920]

>>17908896
prove him wrong

[Anonymous No.17909050]

>>17908009
Cope. Some people don't catch the bus and that's that.

[Anonymous No.17909826]

i had been thinking about how garbage was one of the few bands i had some nostalgia for from the 2000s and kind of missed, and i guess their label's focus groups must have signaled the same thing because lo and behold, a new album is announced, but boy that first single really sucks, kinda bummed man

[Anonymous No.17910203]

Sometimes you'll be sleep deprives, overly caffeineted, a little manic, and see the absurdity and the ugliness and the futility of the world for what it is. Other times, you'll be well rested and those types of thoughts fade to the background and don't bother you. It's when you are feeling 'well adjusted' and still you can't ignore the insanity of everything, that is the scariest.

[Anonymous No.17910227]

>>17908888
Nice

[Anynomous No.17910226]

>>17908920
It's self-evident why it's wrong. Wasting resources on junk that cannot be used.

[Anonymous No.17910327]

I am absolutely boring. A toroughly boring person. My stench is boredom, it’s a secretion that infects everyone around me.
To be fair, I love being boring. I am quite a general about it; I own a nuclear arsenal of facts that, when deployed, can instantly nuke a conversation.
I know fun people, but fun people are so boring to me. They always seem to talk about the same things. I get it. I get why they’re fun; I’m not saying they’re not, but they just don’t work on me. I am genetically immune to fun. Maybe even allergic.
I know people see this on me. They single me out like a sick dog. I don’t resent them, sometimes I do the same to them even before they do, as a sort of preventive measure, protecting both of us from my condition. I know they don’t feel any ill will towards me. It’s something even worse, they feel pity. They don’t wish me any harm, they just absolutely loath my presence.

[Anonymous No.17910365]

>>17899146
i think i might be getting back on track. I don't think i'll be around on 4chan for much longer (unless i minimize my internet usage generally), but that's not a bad thing. I'm so sick of the anti-semitism, the anti-intellectualism, and the fucking constant hate that this board seems to feul. I want to go back to a younger verson of myself, but i know that will never happen, so what i need to do is focus heavily on what i can do moving forward. I think i'll try to write a criticism of Nick Land's work, so I can get back on the writing grind, but from there it's uncertain. I'll probably start writing about music and fashion for fun, but i really need to buckle down on philosophy if i'm going to achieve that.

Unironically, reading Ayn Rands horrible literature has been very helpful. I used to hate it, but it's grown on me. I think philosphically she leaves a lot to be desired, but the point of individual freedom seems to be lost on so many people (me included) that it seems necessary to think deeply about my own individual freedom as a launching off point to help others think of theirs.

But all this said, i still feel like i'm just shit posting. My brain feels fried form too much internet, but I'm sure regularly meditating wouldn't be a bad thing. But i digress. I hope if any anon reads this they will be someone intrigued and rewarded or profited from this in some way. hopefully they don't think i'm too full of shit (god knows we have enough bullshit in the world today). but anyway yea

[Anonymous No.17910389]

They say to pursue your hobbies outside the 9 to 5 and find meaning in your personal relationships, but it's so hard to do so when work takes us so much of your life and saps you of any and all energy. Eeeeeh that's no news. That's been the case for the vast majority of us throughout history. My family until this point were factory workers and before that, peasants. I don't really deserve anything different, just for being alive now.

[Anonymous No.17910434]

>>17910389
>They say to pursue your hobbies outside the 9 to 5 and find meaning in your personal relationships, but it's so hard to do so when work takes us so much of your life and saps you of any and all energy.
When I was growing up, I used to resent my dad for coming home from work and not talking to any of us. He was too tired to do anything except for watch tv and drink beer. Seemed like he never even cared about my siblings or I and that his entire life was work. My mom eventually divorce raped him for this reason. As a wagie now I understand most of us will end up like this. Reminds me of this quote - "by the time you realize your dad was right, you already have a son who thinks you're wrong"

[Anonymous No.17910446]

>>17910365
>I'm so sick of the anti-semitism
why did you put that first? you're not some kind of kike-lover are you?
just kidding but really, i wouldn't take it too seriously. what jews are to most anti-semites are a kind of mystical half-god omnipotent and omniscient entity capable of things ranging from controlling international finance for millenia to making them stub their toe in the morning. any relation to actual jewish people is incidental at best

[Anonymous No.17910459]

>>17899146
>Be me
>25
>Never had a GF
>Never had sex
>Never held another's hand
>No genuine friends
>Been a doormat for most of my life
>Realized I've been living for the validation of others
>Realized I pretty much have no idea who or what I am and am unsure if the things I enjoy and believe are things I truly enjoy and believe in or are merely things I use to make others happy to be around me
>Never been happier
It's strange... really strange. You'd think I'd be so sad but I can't help but be happy to find out who I am and what I really enjoy. I genuinely feel like an individual for once.

[Anonymous No.17910724]

>>17910459
Im in the same (only 28) but i feel absolutely terrible.

[Anonymous No.17910833]

>finally laid off from job after 11 months of furlough
>decide to become a paralegal for shiggles
>apply to particular law office
>no actual litigation experience
>not certified, plan on taking paralegal course but haven't yet done so
>write long-ass cover letter using experience in Literature BA program as analog to theoretical litigation experience
>actually get appointment for an interview tomorrow
>glance at firm's website once more on a whim and see a name I recognize
>attorney who used to work in the same firm from which I was just fired
>she works in the same practice for which this paralegal job is meant to support
>she was always impressed by my assistance in my previous job, and could very well support me as a last-minute reference
Holy fuck, this is Providence if ever I saw it.

[Anonymous No.17910870]

My god, what am I doing with my life?

[Anonymous No.17910887]

>>17910870
What are you doing? I personally live in an eternal weekend, usually its a blissful Saturday, rarely there are moments of a dreadful evening of Sunday but the real Monday never comes.

[Anonymous No.17911086]

I am a joke. If I was born 200 years ago i would have been the village idiot and probably happy.

[Anonymous No.17911120]

>>17899293
Wouldn't busying yourself with grand things you have no power over be a form of cope for perceived meaninglessness? Accepting that you're just a random nobody like 90% of the human population an getting on with your life seems wiser than roleplaying as a political philosopher because your daily life is boring.

[Anonymous No.17911198]

I honestly think the gym is the only thing that gives my life meaning. It's a consistent routine that allows me to work toward a goal where progress is gradual but visible. As i progress, weights that used to be too difficult I can now lift with ease. Being able to look back and see that progress so clearly is very gratifying. Even when everything else is shit my workout routine remains consistent.

[Anonymous No.17911199]

>>17910887
I live in an eternal Sunday Night. It has lingered and the dread has never left.

[Anonymous No.17911236]

>>17911199
Whats the dread about?

[Anonymous No.17911240]

>>17910459
>>17910724
I wonder why seemingly similar situations lead to such different outcomes

[Anonymous No.17911243]

>>17911236
Staying awake until its far too late.
waking up and putting on a shirt
assuming the persona of a stable, upwardly mobile modern office worker.
The endless useless chatter of people grown fat on the efforts of those long dead.

[Anonymous No.17911247]

>>17911243
How long will it continue?

[Anonymous No.17911253]

>finished: Revelation
>up next: Genesis

[Anonymous No.17911260]

>>17911247
until it either paralyzes me, I snap, or I die.

[Anonymous No.17911270]

>>17899369
You need self esteem. (I don't know where to get it or find it because I literally have never had it. I'm also full of anxiety, especially the social kind.) Anyway dabble with "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by Dr Burns. You need to slow down and self reflect your thoughts that fly by 100mph and you don't know it. Deconstruct your invisible thoughts and do the hard work in addressing every one of them. It's tedious but it works if you treat it like a project. (Don't be like me, you can do way better.)

[Anonymous No.17911279]

>>17900685
I think you should include Spanish, Urdu and Arabic in that list

[Anonymous No.17911312]

>>17911270
I read the feeling good not that long ago. It felt like i read about the practical side of psychology whereas my problems are more of a deeper level like the loss of meaning in life, not knowing what kind of person i am, seeing how your life crashes down and not being able to do anything about and etc. I think that the book is better suited to people who get too big bumps on the road and not the ones who dont even have a road to walk in the first place. That or i need a therapist.

[Anonymous No.17911356]

>>17911312
I'm doing a second restart of the book and I stopped early again, I don't know why exactly, because he makes so many good points, plus maybe I'm too lazy to do the exercises (which are a huge part of improving oneself, like even "normal" people say daily to do lists are effective, and that's the easiest of the exercises; maybe a therapist you can talk to playing the role of teacher assigning homework might work better). Wow that parenthetical went too long. What I wanted to note about the book is early on he says taking action first affects your mood. So as others have said, just do something that's both physical and mental? Last thing I wanted to add because I'm kind of ocd is that yeah the issue can be deeper than thoughts (e.g. existentialist or nihilist ideas). Maybe read philosophy? I think most people get through life by getting themselves wrapped up in some shit. The easiest one is having kids. Ok I've said enough, and I'm likely a pseud but I try. Best wishes.

[Anonymous No.17911370]

>>17911356
Oh, the action is an important thing. I made quite a number of decisions which all ended up in failure so its hard to become "naive" enough to try again and hope for the best. What would you recommend to read regarding philosophy? From what i've read stoicism seems very practical but it just doesnt click with me and absurdism/existentialism doesnt liberate me at all.

[Anonymous No.17911534]

Everything I want to do is illegal. Doing crime requires contacts. Contacts require trust. I don't trust anyone. Books for this feel?

[Anonymous No.17911545]

>>17911534
You should settle for petty crime. Read Roger Nimier, for instance "Les Epées".

[Anonymous No.17911565]

>>17899146
plop

[Anonymous No.17911599]

Frater, I found your r*ddit brother https://old.reddit.com/r/Poetry/comments/mgt63f/poem_anonymous_roma_spanish_poem/

[Anonymous No.17911632]

>>17911370
I don't have any recommendations about philosophy at the moment as I'm in a similar position as you and not an expert, but recently Advaita Vedanta has been intriguing, mainly for its metaphysical nondualist ideas. I think about the nature of reality and consciousness quite a bit but don't really know how to tackle a problem humans have been thinking about for thousands of years.

[Anonymous No.17911665]

>>17899369
Bearer of the curse... I will remain by your side. Till this frail hope shatters...

[Anonymous No.17911687]

>want to be writer
>hear short stories are a good way to get started
>every single idea for a story I come up with is way too grandiose
Fuck

[Anonymous No.17911696]

>>17911632
Maybe we just think too much and it throws us off balance.

[Anonymous No.17911751]

>>17899369
>passive income
>early 20s
>relaxed
>living with SO
>find no meaning in life
>fearless due to lack of caring
>experienced in all life has to give
>ivy league uni education
feel fine until I randomly break down and start hitting myself because of flashbacks, words on repeat telling me how useless I am
>still hope somewhere exists a book, a chapter or passage that will resonate with my lack of worth and destroy the cage i keep around myself

who you are doesn't affect what you feel like, anon

[Anonymous No.17911934]

>>17911696
It's a curse man. I just wanna live. And I don't want to make lists and do exercises daily just to be a normal happy functioning person. Fucking sucks. I think in order for us to get better we need to abandon ourselves and who we've grown accustomed to and become someone else. And I don't know what it is, (fear, arrogance, stubbornness) but I don't want to do that.

[Anonymous No.17912009]

>>17899146
Why did Youtube utterly destroy its 'recommended video' function back in 2017 or 2018? It used to work very well, it would basically just make you a playlist of videos algorithmically related to your video, which for music would just create an automatic playlist and show you all sorts of new songs, it was genuinely good. Now it just plays videos you have already seen, with one or two new videos by the same artist, and then literally loops the circuit sometimes. Why would they remove something that worked perfectly and replace it with this, I just don't get it. I can't even make any sense of it from an advertising perspective, because it's not showing you more content you're likely to want to watch so that they get more ad money.

[Anonymous No.17912043]

I have some how transferred all the hate and disgust for my own failures on to the mental representation of a certain friend. I still remain cordial in our interactions but his idiocy shines through and tortures me now. I can't unsee how much time I've spent with this person and how much of an idiot this person is and thus transfer all my resentment for my current state of being on to him (or more accurately his representation).

[Anonymous No.17912061]

>>17912043
Honour thy family, anon

[Anonymous No.17912097]

I want trad bf awyhwyahaiwuauah goddammit

[Anonymous No.17912119]

I crosspost on many boards.
Im just afraid that i will be recognized despite being anonymous due to my word pattern or something. I may be paranoid.
Can someone recommend me a book on speech patterns

[Anonymous No.17912146]

>>17912119
Based on what you said in that other thread, I think you may be a lost cause, buddy.

[Anonymous No.17912158]

>>17900009
Same, but with all of social media trackers. Eg I think if it came to updating a profile pic, I'd be sure to do it only after a bout of socializing, else getting less likes than previously would only spell a tipping point, a downward trend of gradually giving in to my proclivity for reclusiveness as well as aging.

That said, the most sociable people I know are one by one disabling such things as profile pic likes or birthday wishes. I think it's silently gnawing at everyone.

[Anonymous No.17912161]

All my friends decided to hang out today. They'll pass the evening and the night together.
I'm the only person who didn't get invited.

[Anonymous No.17912223]

>>17912119
tryna spook me i see

[Anonymous No.17912246]

>>17912146
tryna spook me i see

[Frater Asemlen !XS8vrClKs2 No.17912409]

>>17911599
>roma

Nah, I’d call myself a Gypsy and I’ve no relations to anything Spanish, russian and Italian are my variants of gypo. Want me to make an account and try to bully/hardball them?

[Anonymous No.17912415]

>>17912009
Because people were trying to game the system.

[Anonymous No.17912441]

>>17899568
I'm basically you with gainful employment, it doesn't feel any better if that's any consolation. Our angst is spiritual in nature

[Anonymous No.17912452]

>>17911243
Get a different job, goddamn.

[Anonymous No.17912500]

I finally quit my wagie job yesterday and I feel so happy. Those chains are gone. I'm finally gonna move out for college tomorrow. No more wagecucking for now. I know that I'll probably have to do it again post-graduation but for now I feel happy.

[Anonymous No.17912514]

>>17911751
>who you are doesn't affect what you feel like, anon
what do you mean?

[Anonymous No.17912536]

>>17912514
You could be rich with a hot, loving wife and still feel like absolute shit

[Anonymous No.17912571]

>>17912536
Thats true but i cant even function in society on an average level.

[Anonymous No.17912631]

Do you believe it's possible to stop being a pussy? If I move out from my parents' into a new country and expose myself, is there a chance for me? Will I ever become a man?

[Anonymous No.17912643]

>>17912500
Based. I also wagied before going to a university and I'm still happy three years in.

[Anonymous No.17912675]

I hate the days when all I wanna do is sleep and I end up sleeping my day away

[Anonymous No.17912695]

>>17912631
If you dont try, you never know.

[Anonymous No.17912702]

>>17912675
I love those. Especially now that we aren't allowed to do anything cool, my dreams are more fulfilling than my awake life.

[Anonymous No.17912708]

>>17912695
I'm planning on getting a foreign internship two years from now when I finish university.

[Anonymous No.17912731]

i wonder if i can find work in finland or germany without knowing anyone

[Anonymous No.17912735]

>>17911253
weird order but you do you
>>17911086
at least you write fun posts. cheer up brother, everything will turn out fine.
>>17912097
I assume you wouldn't be female, right? Then what exactly do you even mean with trad?

[Anonymous No.17912756]

I hate my job so fucking much. I seriously can’t take it anymore.

[Anonymous No.17912763]

>>17912500
I’m so jealous but I already graduated...

[Anonymous No.17912775]

>>17912161
How do you even know then? Maybe if you know, you should've just say something. Chances are half of them are going thanks to doing that.
Unless you know because they are picking on you, in which case they are no friends.

[Anonymous No.17912808]

Hey wazzup my bros, this thread is totally lit! xD(Smiley face, tears in pinched laughing eyes, and holding up an okay sign with gloved hand)!!!

YOOOO wazzup peeps, my dudes and dudettes, guess who just published a new chapter in the super cool, you really want to read and review, publication of awesomeness, that is totes availiable for free on fictionpress, so you can read! For everyone to read YES!

I mean, you're so cool and mysterious, like a sexy witch or darklord. You should like totally read and review my books and stuff! You're such a complicated person, so smart and well-read!

Just do it. Oh! It will be such an honour for me, you know, it is a HUGE honor for me to have YOUR REVIEW!!!! on my bookzies. bruh.

FICTIONPRESS -> SEARCH -> SYNTH PILL

I am currently writing the sequal on my first book ever yo. I'm pretty stoked about it soon being finished.

OH! you know what you should do!? You should like totally read my new chapter and shiet! Chapter 20 is called VAPORWAVE MALL? Yeah, you into that shit? That sum of that good good!

Here, have my poem:

Colorful clothes in pink and teal
Sun in the sky shining bold
At night neon lights up the Ferris-wheel
Such were the seasons of gold

As the sea mirrors moon from above
By the beach the campfire dances
There on the beach we first made love
City noise said we took our chances

Dead are the malls we used to enter
The Ferris-wheel removed from it's coast
Yet I am still around to remember
Golden seasons of pink and teal clothes
----
OOOOH you can't brushie the dog against it hairs!
>>17911003 #

[Anonymous No.17912829]

>>17912702
Don't you get tired of sleeping all day?

[Anonymous No.17912878]

>>17912829
To tell you the truth, I don't actually sleep all day. It's more like
>wake up at 11
>read a book in my bed after lunch, get tired and fall asleep
>wake up at 5 with superior energy and will to live and do stuff
>go to sleep at 3 AM

[Anonymous No.17912978]

desu I'm taking a little break in life. nothing much anon, what's going on with you?

[Anonymous No.17912981]

I think I’ve discovered that my grandfather’s family was Jewish. That explains this repulsive nose and this awful hair. I should kms rather than pass on my genes.

[Anonymous No.17913013]

>>17912708
Go for it anon. Let the destiny unfold.

[Anonymous No.17913080]

Never underestimate my ability to have a completely blank mind, OP.

[Anonymous No.17913112]

it turns out I'm realy tired

[Anonymous No.17913131]

Aside from the large number of dangerous and violent ones, black people are generally unreliable, dishonorable, and disloyal. That's why it's not nice to be stuck living with them. You can't rely on them in a pinch. It's like that ancient Chris Rock bit about how you can't have nice stuff in a black neighborhood. I finally understande exactly what he means. He means that pleasant chitchat and the warmth and affection built up over years with a neighbor is still no guarantee of anything if they're a low class black, they'll still rob you and smile at you the next day. They live a brutalized existence at the bottom of the system.

It's so hard not to see them as active participants in their own immiseration. White liberals who see them as purely victims have the luxury of seeing it all abstractly, not having to see them close up. When you do have to live with them you get a level of disdain that can't be quantified or rationalized away. It wears on you in a way that you can tell is leaving scars somewhere invisible, somewhere in the deep psyche.

I think the worst part of it is how they seem to revel in it. They love living life on the outer edge of nihilism, they love running the hourly risk and being an hourly threat of starting a "beef" with a stranger that escalates into life without parole. They love that the state of chaos they produce in aggregate creates infinite opportunities to slip between lines, slip through holes and gaps in social fences and find creative ways to be degenerate. All this makes life unliveable in their own neighborhoods but they love that too. They turn it into a competition to see who can make the most obnoxious noises, be the most erratic and dangerous.

They're like me when I was 13 and had a head full of notions how I would be cool when I grew up (except their notions are from rap instead of anime). They are living out 13 year old fantasies of power and being cool, with a 13 year old's sense of consequences. They're also like Orks from Warhammer 40,000. The more there are in one area, the more powerful their chaos aura is.

That's where the resentment comes from. They are fundamentally happy like this and you aren't. They live on the offensive, you live on the defensive. They are thriving and you are always losing ground. They respond to the chaos by becoming a bombastic anime character, screaming and causing a scene in the Walmart, and your bad reaction to this only proves that natural selection favors the psychotic chimpman. There are no winning moves around these people. It's a race to the bottom, and if you don't like that, you have lost the race.

[Anonymous No.17913175]

>>17913131
Also they radiate self-satisfaction and you can tell their worldview comes from extremely simplistic media stereotypes tailored for them. You can tell they think white people are eternal victims and that they, a violent obnoxious low ambition perpetually stoned black man with a chip on his shoulder, are the real protagonist of life. White people are like the square father figure to bully and prove you are cooler than.

That is where a lot of the resentment comes from too. You can't be like "Now see here my black friend, you live a very precarious existence as a welfare leech in an inner city that should have failed when its industries died 50 years ago. The reason you are so accustomed to bullying people in the street like a child on a poorly supervised playground is that the average random white person is not willing to shoot you and deal with years of court and probably jail because you decided to 'square up' on a Thursday afternoon." You have to just avert your eyes and play the role, in the movie that's running in their mind, of the lame white guy who "won't do shit."

Knowing that you're forever stuck in this role, in a dumb violent asshole's state-supported, media-pandered inner city thug roleplay video game is annoying.

[Anonymous No.17913191]

>>17912978
just read a book.

[Anonymous No.17913206]

>>17913191
nah I'm too beat to focus properly. I'm rereading the Bhagavad Gita and I want my apprehension to be strong when I'm working on it. I do have one novel I've been considering reading for a while. Maybe later. Right now I've been watching a show on netflix called Shtisel. It's like a family drama about the family of an orthodox rabbi in Jerusalem. It's pretty damn interesting, all the trad-larpers should watch it.

[Anonymous No.17913265]

>>17912631
You don't even have to go to another country

[Anonymous No.17913572]

> be 18
> apathetic teenager
> only really like English class
> go off to college
> Mom wants me to be a doctor or a lawyer
> Dad not in the picture
> Don’t have much interest in anything in particular
> like books
> remember my Junior year HS English teacher complimenting my writing
> enter the Comparative Literature department
> this is such bullshit
> it’s all feminist and black rights anti-colonial anti-Western stuff
> forced to read shitty books
> get really jaded
> be put off of literature
> abandon desire to write
> won’t even write for student publications or campus newspaper
> figure writing is an unrealistic dream anyway
> forget about it
> enter the economics department
> I hate this so much
> give up all hope
> apathetically drudge through 4 more years (5 1/2 total)
> amass an enormous amount of debt
> barely pass
> want to kms daily
> figure it will be fine once I get a job and start working
> finally graduate
> spend a year unemployed
> get a job working in the finance department at my school
> barely pays anything
> this is even worse than school
> trapped in this miserable little college town
> broke
> want to kms
> read my favorite authors
> realize all of them hated their school but published as a student anyway
> be 27 years old
> 3 years out of school
> not published
> barely written anything
> realize the only thing I’ve ever wanted was to read and write
> still want to kms
> will probably kms

[Anonymous No.17913638]

>>17913572
> spend a year unemployed
That was a lie. I spent maybe 6 months unemployed then I worked at a bank for probably 9 months and it was so bad that I quit without notice/got fired and prefer to pretend like it never happened.

[Anonymous No.17913758]

Twitter only became insufferable when Tumblr users migrated platforms.

[Anonymous No.17913767]

>>17913265
how do I do it at my parents' during lockdown?

[Anonymous No.17914172]

>>17913767
I meant that just moving out will probably be sufficient

[Anonymous No.17914217]

Had my first “I’m a lawyer lawyering” nightmare after watching better call Saul and reading the prince.

I woke up to immediately figure out how I can do public defense work. Turns out I need a bunch of continuing legal education credits, so I’m figuring out how to get those on the cheap.

[Anonymous No.17914243]

>>17914217
try kys, the world doesn't need another fucking lawyer.

[Anonymous No.17914318]

>>17914243
Oh gee, thanks, anon. I really appreciate the high quality feed back.

[Anonymous No.17914472]

>>17914217
You want to be a public defender? How come? I almost went into law and I always think to myself I would have done something like that, I grew up watching the internal bullshit of big firm law and private practice and I fucking hate lawyers, fucking midwit nouveau riche pricks. I couldn't stand being around that for years. Or maybe I could have if law school had changed me, dunno.

[Anonymous No.17914500]

>>17914472
>watching the internal bullshit of big firm law and private practice and I fucking hate lawyers
That's basically it. I put out my own shingle this year because I can't stand big firms and all that. Getting on the PD wheel is another revenue source and I actually get to help people and get experience. It's a win win except for the whole rigged system of oppression, alcoholism, and losing all the time.

[Anonymous No.17914593]

This is real.
Corporation paid today. There is 30 USD less than I expected but I guess that is my fault. I went to the ATM at the gas station and withdrew the money which I will give to mom and dad. The line was long. There was a petite, brunette woman with Asian features wearing pink pajamas reading on her cell phone as she waited and I imagined her sweaty, smelly little body impacting moist flesh against mine as I squeezed her neck. The erection came with the same intensity it left when it was my turn on the machine.

I always liked the gas station, on the side of the road. Its smooth, homologous pavement stretching out beneath the cars crowding like spaceships waiting to refill the tanks to keep traveling across the highway.

It's my first paycheck in a year. The country has been hit by pandemic and social crisis and my salary is humble and I feel some pride in that. I'm good at what I do I tell myself as I order a hot dog, a precooked hamburger and a mockachino so tiny it wouldn't wake a field rat. Someone else stops and orders two coffees and I can see that the picture of my country is on the carton of the cup.

A message from my technical leader indicates the surprise delay of a list of tasks of which no one was aware. The person responsible is someone who is still in the company because when I ask whose fault it is, I am told that it is not important and that we are a team that protects itself as a single indivisible unit. VG is bad in his motivational speeches, he is as subtle as a gunshot in the middle of the night. What irritates me is the inability to take control. I want to grab him from behind and with my fingers pull his mouth.

The tasks don't seem difficult. We're basically talking about performing aggressive QA.

I think about our enemies.

[Anonymous No.17914595]

I think I may be losing a friend in real time. I'm currently stuck on read. We've been close on and off, sometimes pretty close and other times not so much. He's one of very few friends I have. I could talk about it to him, maybe, but the thing is that in truth I feel like a lot of time that we spend together isn't actually worth that much, but then some of the time we spend together is worth very much to me. And I don't want to have to face him and ask what's up and lay all cards on the table because I would have to be honest about the times I don't enjoy hanging with him. It can be pretty stiff. But it really can also not be, and the thing is that I don't have anyone I don't feel like that with, there's noone with whom I am not stiff like that. I think he has more and more begun to sense when I'm not enjoying his company, but I just don't know what to do about that, when that's true it's true. I can't tell him that. I did tell him sincerely that I appreciate him being in my life but he's... distant. I really feel like I should ask him what's going on but I do not want to have to tell him how I feel.

[Anonymous No.17914625]

I hate where I live and my lease is up soon. I don’t have any plans to go elsewhere though. I’m torn between just going to a parent’s once it ends or requesting that I change to a month to month lease. I’m 28 and my job is remote.

[Anonymous No.17914643]

>>17914595
I can somewhat relate to your situation
>be friends with someone since childhood
>spend sometime and have memorable experience together
>he gets into college in different city from mines
>we still visit other from time (usually 2-3 times per year)
>meet up when we both visit parents in home town
>he gets a job
>still meet up but he starts to change into more serious mode
>finds a gf
>we barely meet
>even in hometown he doesnt want to see me, despite his brother seeing me atleast for an hour
>gets married and has a child
>last time i wrote was to congratulate with the birth of kid
>that was last mid october
I'd like to honestly talk with him like "whats going on? things used to be different before" but then i remember that we basically were each other friends because we didnt have any other friends and once he got different ones in college then it all came tumbling down. We never talked about deeper stuff but basically killed time together. Sure, he's a bit whipped but his wife doesnt like me that much but that shouldnt change much. There's no point in saying anything as it wouldnt change a thing.

[Anonymous No.17914730]

al wahdat al wujud

[Anonymous No.17914771]

>>17914643
>were each other friends because we didnt have any other friends and once he got different ones in college then it all came tumbling down
this could be what is happening. he also just met a new woman, that could be it. we have talked about real things though, I don't remember if he's seen me cry but he has certainly seen me very vulnerable, and vice-versa.
>There's no point in saying anything as it wouldnt change a thing.
my stereotypical holywood-fed impression is that if we were women we could do things like this, have those kinds of conversations. Idk, I'v been meaning to call him but it feels off for whatever reason, so I wrote instead

[Anonymous No.17914802]

>>17899146
I am lonely.
I am horney.
I'm not wanking.
I am working.
I am for once happy.
First sunny day in a while.
Clock out from work, get an ice cream, meet a friend.
A bit messy, pricey, not really tasty, but I have my friend.
We sit down, have a chat.
A black homeless guy sits next to us - dirty, smelly, swollen hands and tongue, almost toothless. Talks to us for a bit, surprisingly coherent.
We move on, we start talking girls and female companionship.
All around us girls walk with barely anything on them in the middle of the city, tits bouncing around and almost popping out.
You should totally sign up to dating stuff anon, don't knock it till you try it.
I'm not trying it because I won't have any success.
I sign up on a whim, and I quickly prove my point.
I should have stayed in the office till sunset.
Now I am lonely, horney, and sad.
Wank at home and feel nothing.
I'm not gonna go back and put in meme arrows fuck you.

[Anonymous No.17914940]

>>17914771
I wish i could say "let's communicate like we used to" but when i think about it - there was barely any communication in the first place. The moment he found anything better, he ditched me.

[Anonymous No.17914972]

>>17914940
that's a part of growing up though. I'm sorry you feel bad about it, that sucks. I'm not really in touch with anyone I knew before I was 21 I think. I suppose you grow up into someone and don't recognize the old any more. I've even avoided seeing people I knew as a kid because I feel I would have to revert to the guy they knew. A big part of why I don't want that is precisely that we never actually communicated, in some ways we never really knew eachother. But there is some kind of sweet-spot in youth where that all doesn't matter so much.

[Anonymous No.17915050]

>>17914972
I guess you're right. Time only shows who you really are.

[Anonymous No.17915076]

>>17899293
I feel similar. Have a life and family I am happy with.
When ever the outside tries to intrude I am so annoyed.

I just want to raise my family, read, write, and generally create. The rest is so depressing and can just fuck off

[Anonymous No.17915083]

>>17915076
>I just want to raise my family, read, write, and generally create
What is stopping you?

[Anonymous No.17915087]

the world is a place where nothing has ever been any good and nothing of significance done: no art worth a second look, no philosophy of the slightest appositeness, no law but served the state, no history that gave an inkling of how it had been and what had happened. and no love, only egotism, infatuation and lust.

[Anonymous No.17915136]

>>17915087
correct as to phil and law. The rest is posture.

[Anonymous No.17915147]

>>17899293
Opposite for me.

[Anonymous No.17915168]

>>17899146
I am grotesque, inside and out.

[Anonymous No.17915243]

>navalny is in super-jail you guys
>meanwhile we get daily updates from navalny about his various cramps
I remember years ago russians on pol were adamant that navalny is false opposition

[Anonymous No.17915374]

>>17915243
Why do you care what Putin or any tinpot dictators does to political opposition? I don't defend Russia, I just think it's been turned into a boogeyman thanks for Baudrillardian fear porn from the media.

The US acts like Russia and Iran are our greatest threats (when they pose no genuine threat outside their regions) but walk a fine political line when it comes to China. Biden called Putin a killer but would never say that about Xi and we all know why. Stop feeding into this mentality.

[Anonymous No.17915392]

>>17915374
oh that wasn't my intention, I didn't really have an intention I just thought it was funny. I feel like we're in a shift regarding China. Some countries talk about uighurs and shit, they didn't used to. I feel like there have been more real negative press on them, but I could be wrong

[Anonymous No.17915404]

>>17899370
>YIFFY
takes me back...anon, where can I find yify nao?

[Anonymous No.17915416]

Four day weekend for a Easter. I'm so tired I just want to spend the whole time in bed. But I know if I do that I'll feel like shit the whole time. I guess I should get into nature, but all those spots will be busy for the weekend. What should I do with my break anons?

[Anonymous No.17915431]

my sister was properly bullied as a kid. we went to different schools, so I never saw. I just remember her being quiet around that time. I should be nicer to her.

[Anonymous No.17915455]

I am going to die alone in my shell and when I think about it rationally it's the only thing that feels worthwhile. No matter how hard I try to become normal and meet normal people I eventually suffer too much and I have to go back.
The only thing worse than having zero opportunity to change your life is to have an exit, and try to open that door, but it only barely open and one can only take a look. I can't get through. There's nothing worse than seeing that door half open that I can't get out of.

[Anonymous No.17915463]

>>17899355
What documentary?
Watch Bitter Lake by Adam Curtis if you're interested in that kind of material - it's more social commentary than gore so maybe you'd enjoy it more. Still a blackpill though.

[Anonymous No.17915550]

I’m really wondering if doing some writing for this game company would be good. They’re headquartered in a country I’ve been wanting to live in. The work is all remote so it’s not like they’re offering visas and it’s like a side job at best so I wouldn’t be able to quit my day job and it would definitely cut into the writing I actually want to do. Still, it might be good for me and I’m desperate to escape my day job. I don’t know what to do.

[Anonymous No.17915577]

>>17899146
I am a teacher, my students are empty, my students can fill up on thoughts and think critically moments at a time, and the next day they restart from zero. They have unique ideas and share in that moment that they are pulling out something they thought of by themselves. The next day, it's all gone. They are without hope and I want more for them. I want them to see past where they feel society has placed them. Their parents do not want that. Their parents want them to not be able to critically think and challenge what they are being told to conform to. I am a teacher and my students are empty.

[Anonymous No.17915655]

>>17908920
Look at his dead eyes. Look at his facial expression; mimicking all the others he has seen, as real as the hobby he lies to himself about.

[Anonymous No.17915758]

I’m going to continue to write in English but I really want to move to the country that most of my favorite authors (didn’t write in English) called home.

[Anonymous No.17915837]

i'm in one of those communities where since the demographic for it - slash where the game was made - is in japan, the japanese side of the fandom is waay better than in the west. i was writing for this fandom for a while until i got sick and tired of the hissy fits and shit people threw around at each other for any and all reason. i did it for myself but i guarantee i fell out of love with writing faster because of this hell hole community. so now i did a complete 180 and i'm drawing now. and fucking off social media for longer periods of time. things seem to be getting better.

[Anonymous No.17915964]

I mean its not the first I've tried. I should know how it is by now. Yet, this whole process feels incredibly dehumanizing. I am just a piece of meat, an object. I need to sell myself, to people who don't really want to buy me. If I listen to myself, no one really wants to buy me, but this is just the usual drivel that bounces around in my tiny head. If I'm a product, then I'm not a great one.
I do have qualities though. I came from a good school. I got my diplomas, albeit from the skin of my teeth, but we'll hide that from them. I did some very brilliant studies and papers in a field I knew nothing about, on some subject only a few dozen people on earth care about. But I can't talk about that, can I ? I need to say general things about me, about how I'm a perfectionist, a virgo, or how I like team sports, The Office or whatever non sense is in vogue at the moment.
This whole ordeal has made me feel like shit. It shouldn't, I know. But who am I, if not for others ? Identity and worth does not exist in a vacuum. With no one to compare to, no one to tell me who I am, I am everything and nothing at the same time. The constant negging, the constant ghosting tells me something, but I don't like it. I try to avert my attention on the ever more evident conclusion.
If I'm an product, I'm not a really great one. Because each time I manage to get a meeting, a date, a call; and it's not often mind you; no one calls back. I'm trying not to be pushy, I know they don't like that. It's like playing a game no one told me the rules. But I need what to be bought. I need to be had. It is the one thing I have been building my whole life towards, yet no one wants me.
Maybe I don't need them. Maybe a life well lived is a life alone, away from those who I desperately need, but I cannot have.

[Anonymous No.17916006]

>>17899146
I don't find happiness in anything

[Anonymous No.17916021]

>>17915577
I'm a teacher too and this is something that dawned on me recently too. The biggest problem for the majority of them is that they don't retain information. Which means that they're unable to figure things out for themselves later on down the track. It is the marker of intelligence to be able to apply past knowledge to new situations in order to gain new outcomes. It's only something a small percentage of the population can actually do. The rest have to get by on rote learning.

[Anonymous No.17916031]

>>17914595
Alex?

[Anonymous No.17916170]

>tfw no gf
>tfw no wife
>tfw no children
>tfw will be a miserable lonely weirdo until I die

[Anonymous No.17916249]

>>17915083
The outside that is trying to intrude. That is what he just said.

[Anonymous No.17916732]

>>17916170
you just need to find peace with it, most men reproducing was a historical anomaly

[Anonymous No.17916978]

>>17916732

Quite the opposite. The concept of personal safety is a historical anomaly.

[Anonymous No.17916984]

>>17899197
Fit, good haircut, shirt fits, eyes have a nonbrown color.