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/lit/ - Literature

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1786878 No.1786878 [Reply] [Original]

I woke up one morning next to my dog wondering what happened last night... my underwear was missing. My stomach was sticky from a substance I couldn't describe until I tasted it, yes jelly I thought to myself. I got up from my bed, walked into the kitchen and did what any normal 18 year old guy would do. I took a shit in the sink. The shit wouldn’t go down the drain so I left it sitting in the piss filled sink. I scratched the inside of my asshole and proceeded to smell my finger, it smelt funny. I don't know why I washed my ass hole with the antibacterial soap for your hands. Anyways I walked outside after putting a new pair of underwear on and started tossing a baseball to myself. Yeah I really thought maybe I had no friends. That all changed however as when I was tossing it to myself superman came out of nowhere and took the ball from me. This was the beginning of something great I thought to myself. That day was one of the best days of my life. Maybe after the first time I was thrown into jail for possession of child pornography. That's another story however. Superman and I really didn't know what was in store for us all we really knew was what we had was special, special enough that we didn't sleep for two straight days. It was like hypnosis. I would rub his back, and he would rub mine. He would feed me and I would feed him. I would take a shit, and talk to him over the phone, and he would do the same. It was something I never had with anyone.

>> No.1787830
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1787830

Go on.

>> No.1787837
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1787837

>>1786878

It's impossible for me to explain just how accurately this picture describes my attitude towards this post.

>> No.1787839

>>1787837
Man, I have totally been that girl.

>> No.1787840

>>1787830
I agree. Please continue.

>> No.1787863

>>1787839
YOU EVER WANT TO SMACK CHINESE IN THE FACE FOR:
* ALWAYS BEING SO FUCKING LOUD
* NOT UNDERSTANDING THE CONCEPT OF A LINE
* PICKING THEIR NOSES IN PUBLIC


????

>> No.1787869
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1787869

>>1787863

Constantly.

>> No.1787888

>>1787863
You forgot

>making that gargling hawking up spit sound

And the answer is yes, momentarily. Meet that feeling and let yourself flow past it until the feeling is gone and only you remain. Be like water.

>> No.1787897

>>1787863
1. Yes, very much
2. No, it's fun once you get used to it
3. Yes, very much

>> No.1787899

>>1787888
>be like water
I see they've gotten to you

>> No.1787902

(CONTINUED)

*WHEN CHINESE OVERSIMPLIFY LIFE'S PROBLEMS BY APPLYING ALL OF THEIR CRAPPY PHRASES, AND IT DOESN'T HELP AT ALL

>> No.1787908

>>1787902
We Chinese think it does.

>> No.1787907
File: 48 KB, 300x311, 千手观音.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1787907

sillly beasts moaning out complicated symbols, only to get caught up in them and abandon enlightenment.

>> No.1787915

>>1787907
Fun fact: Guanyin in Japanese is Canon. The camera company.

...you smug bastards already knew that, didn't you?

>> No.1787921
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1787921

>>1787915
same same, i am called by many names.

>> No.1787924

>>1787908
actually i prefer hard logic and stuffs. it's more excitingggg oh god logic leaves me breathless

>> No.1787928
File: 15 KB, 248x300, SpockVulcan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1787928

>>1787924
But logic is so... illogical.

>> No.1787929

*OR WHEN CHINESE SAY SHIT ABOUT YOUR COUNTRY/RACE WHEN IT'S JUST BULLSHIT THEIR GOVERNMENT OR OTHER CHINESE PEOPLE HAVE TOLD THEM.

FOR EXAMPLE: "YOUR GOVERNMENT USES CHINESE PEOPLE'S MONEY FOR YOU GUYS, WHICH IS WHY WE PAY MORE THAN DOUBLE FOR EDUCATION"

WHEN IN FACT IT'S JUST THE GOVERNMENT PAYING UNIVERSITY HALF FOR LOCAL STUDENTS TO ENCOURAGE AUSTRALIANS TO GAIN QUALIFICATIONS AND SHIT

>> No.1787931
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1787931

>>1787888

I must not smack Chinese in the face. Smack Chinese in the face is the mind-killer.Smack Chinese in the face is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my smack Chinese in the face. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the smack Chinese in the face has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

>> No.1787934
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1787934

>>1787931
much hurr in this post

>> No.1787937

*OR WHEN THEY GIVE THE BIGGEST FUCKS, EVEN ABOUT THE SMALLEST DISCREPANCIES, LIKE 5 CENTS, BUT MANY WILL HAPPILY STRIVE FOR GAIN AT THE DETRIMENT OF OTHERS

>> No.1787939
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1787939

>>1787934

Everybody hurrs sometimes.

>> No.1788012

>>1787931
underage b&