/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.17846028]

>audiobook narrator breaks down and starts crying

[Anonymous No.17846035]

All Librivox recordings are SNIFFF BOOHOOHOOO in the public domain

[Anonymous No.17846042]

>>17846028
>audiobook narrator reracks the bar after each paragraph

[Anonymous No.17846256]

>>17846028
>sweet old man audiobook narrator reaches a 50 page sex scene and moaning as he acts out both parts

[Anonymous No.17846415]

>audiobook narrator reads all periods as "stop"

[Anonymous No.17846434]

>>17846028
>>17846035
>>17846042
>>17846256
>listening to audiobooks

Fucking kill yourselves,

[Anonymous No.17846439]

>>17846028
>audiobook
yikes

[Anonymous No.17846451]

>>17846256
>sex scene
>audiobook

[Anonymous No.17846462]

>>17846028
>narrater doesnt have a brittish accent
>narrator is not male
cringe

[Anonymous No.17846474]

>>17846028
>audiobook narrator fucks up and laughs and just keeps reading

[Anonymous No.17846493]

>>17846434
it's the proper way to 'read' the Odyssey and Iliad

[Anonymous No.17847583]

>narrator's stomach keeps rumbling
EAT FFS!

[Anonymous No.17847595]

>audiobook narrator starts insulting the decor in my living room

[Anonymous No.17847849]

>audiobook narrator speaks softly so you turn up the volume and then starts shouting

[Anonymous No.17848187]

dont care for audiobooks but im always willing to have a smile
any of the examples mentioned in this thread real?

[Anonymous No.17848214]

>>17846028
>Old dude narrating The Iliad
>Get to catalogue of ships
>Tells me this is boring and wants to do something fun now
>tells me to take out my dick and start jerking for him
it was a good book

[Anonymous No.17848783]

>>17846028
that's what happens when you force the cheerleader in your basement, instead of actually paying for a professional.

[Anonymous No.17848822]

>>17848214
did you do it?

[Anonymous No.17848948]

>>17846028
>Audiobook narrator calls out the author for being a pseud
>Audiobook narrator calls me a pseud for liking this author

[Anonymous No.17848960]

My audiobook diary desu

[Anonymous No.17848978]

>>17846028
>story is so scary that the narrator puts down the book and waits until it's morning to finish it

[Anonymous No.17849032]

>you can hear the narrator's parents fighting in the background

[Anonymous No.17849063]

>>17846028
>Audiobook narrator starts reading The Scouring of the Shire

[Anonymous No.17849065]

>The narrator's water breaks and you can hear her panting and grunting and the amniotic liquid hitting the floor

[Anonymous No.17849079]

>>17846028
>narrator starts reading my diary desu

[Anonymous No.17850261]

>>17846028
>Narrator has a stroke and after long silence you can hear an ambulance and the recording ends

[Anonymous No.17850280]

>>17849032

[Anonymous No.17850510]

>>17846462
The female narrator for The Red and the Black was pretty good, I thought it was funny how she emphasized "Julian" every time she said it like she was in love with him.

[Anonymous No.17850525]

>narrator begins with a disclaimer that H.P. Lovecraft lived in a different era and his cat's name does not reflect the views of the narrator

[Anonymous No.17850544]

>>17850525
>narrator begins reading about frizzy haired ape women

[Anonymous No.17850577]

>tfw your favourite narrator is a basedboy

[Anonymous No.17850591]

>>17849032
:(

[Anonymous No.17850598]

>narrator is clearly hitting something during the recording
>hear whimpering

[Anonymous No.17850637]

>>17846493
Pursits actually can't refute this

[Anonymous No.17850685]

>>17846493
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI0mkt6Z3I0
Nah, this is the only valid way. Audiobooks are just as bad as reading.

[Anonymous No.17850698]

>>17846028
>narrator asks me to analyse variant cuneiform manuscripts of Gilgamesh to follow his narration

[Anonymous No.17850752]

>>17846028
>audiobook narrator breaks character and starts telling me that this is the only way he could warn me about all the secret government agencies watching me.

[Anonymous No.17850764]

>>17850685
i listen the whole thing

[Anonymous No.17851505]

>audiobook narrator yadda yaddas over the best part

[Anonymous No.17851985]

>>17847595
Kek this would be perfect for a pomo novel

[Anonymous No.17852023]

>narrator recites my social security number and checking account balance and tells me he'll bankrupt me if I don't kill my neighbor's dog
Just one of my many complaints about Infinite Jest, I don't know why you pseuds love it so much

[Anonymous No.17852250]

>>17846462
based department

[Anonymous No.17852256]

>audio book narrator's voice actually comes from within the walls of my room

[Anonymous No.17853253]

>audiobook narrator mentions he's been browsing /pol/ a lot lately.

[Anonymous No.17853341]

>>17853253
>Narrator starts talking about QAnon and the White house Satanic pedophile cults

[Anonymous No.17853412]

>>17846028
>audiobo-
LEAVE this board before I DESTROY your wind-pipe with my fist.

[Anonymous No.17853453]

>>17853412
Good luck destroying anything with that limp wrist.
On the daily I throw mud harder than you can throw a punch.

[Anonymous No.17853656]

>each chapter is a different narrator
>wildly different volumes

[Anonymous No.17853674]

>narrator vomits in your ears through the earbuds

[Anonymous No.17853740]

>>17850685
Sounds kinda like throat singing desu
Makes sense considering that most pre-Homeric Greek myth is Turgic.

[Anonymous No.17853829]

>>17853656
Yeah, that's kind of the problem with LibriVox. They can use a 5 dollar microphone if they wish too.

[Anonymous No.17854157]

>>17853656
Which books does this?

[Anonymous No.17854218]

>>17848948
>>17848214
>>17847595
>>17846042
>>17846035
based librivox enjoyers

but unironically, you can find some pretty decent readers though between the mic deapthroaghters. there is an old man who reads the republic in a great way and a gravelly guy who does the bible. think the later is called Micheal Armenta.

also, found a cute foreign girl who read japan:an attempt at interpretation and the story of the middle ages.

[Anonymous No.17854239]

>audiobook narrator suddenly stops in the middle of a sentence to recite your full name and address

[Anonymous No.17854240]

>>17847595
>>17851985
that's just the beginning of fight club

[Anonymous No.17854246]

>when the reader really doesnt like the author, or has a strong interpretation of the nature of a excerpt as being sarcastic and they go way overboard with a funny voice to make sure the intent is understood

[Anonymous No.17854270]

>>17846493
uhh not if youre listening to it in English retard

[Anonymous No.17854279]

>narrator pauses at every line break

[Anonymous No.17854293]

>>17854239
tfw the recited full name and adress are an old alias and adress you went by so you know you are still a few steps ahead of them.

[Anonymous No.17854514]

>>17854279
You like that?

[Anonymous No.17854573]

>audiobook narrator called me a nigger

[Anonymous No.17854588]

>>17854514
it's cute

[Anonymous No.17854644]

>>17854573
>audiobook narrator says “negro” with emphasis

[Anonymous No.17855113]

>audiobook reader says "huh!" or "hmm!" in the gayest fucking voice everytime the author says something they find poignant
not even memeing. look up the culture of critique audiobook on youtube.

[Anonymous No.17855316]

>Audiobook narrator starts off reading before slowly trailing off and starts reading to themselves

[Anonymous No.17855336]

>audiobook narrator starts off using voices for characters before getting embarrassed and going back to speaking normally for dialogue

[Anonymous No.17855358]

>>17855113
wait it was protocols of the learned elders of zion.

[Anonymous No.17855813]

>audiobook narrator propositions me, then calls me a slut when I turn him down

[Anonymous No.17855850]

Moby dick has the best audiobook ever made
Even better than the Odyssey

[Anonymous No.17855855]

>>17855813
>narrator suddenly sounds kinda like bill murray
>says, "no one will ever believe you. now blow your load for me you fucking piggy"

[Anonymous No.17855881]

>>17855850
hootkins or muller?

[Anonymous No.17855883]

>narrator tells me its time to coom hands free

[Anonymous No.17855912]

>>17854218
I liked the guy who did the mark twain books
>>17854157
Tristsham shandy. one of the narrator was a women who mumbles her words and there was a siren in the background. I thought she was some crack head reading a British classic.

[Anonymous No.17855970]

>listening to american psycho
>bateman draw a picture a rat and apperently includes it with the text
>"uhhh... its a rat"
>still no idea what it looks like

[Anonymous No.17855987]

I've never heard an audiobook
any fun ones to get started?

[Anonymous No.17855991]

>>17855987
pnin read by stephan rudnicki.

[Anonymous No.17856012]

>butterfly actually modified a post of hers tonight like my cocktail was pressing on her lips but then stabs me
Feels good :3

[Anonymous No.17856019]

>>17856012
cock I'm phonepos6ing

[Anonymous No.17856081]

>>17850685
this video is unironically cool

[Anonymous No.17856143]

>audiobook reader speaks in a funny accent
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8Q3kGeYfCw

[/|\(◦.◦)/|\ !!7F6dsMavGNr No.17856154]

The Tempest by Shakespeare on LibriVox is a complete atrocity.

[Anonymous No.17857155]

>>17854293
>narrating suddenly stops and you hear knocking at the door
>as you get closer to the door you can hear the narrator's voice more and more clearly
>All Librivox recordings are in the public domain

[Anonymous No.17857214]

>>17846028
>listening to crime thriller audiobook
>detectives are talking about possible suspects
>hear my name, my address, date of birth, place of birth, schools, place of work, everything about me
>silence for a moment
>"No this isn't him"
>they continue

[Anonymous No.17857299]

>>17846434
The GR audiobook is kino

[Anonymous No.17857479]

>>17857214
>No Sergeant, I was asking for the *perp*'s address

[Anonymous No.17857728]

>>17849065
based preggo fetishist anon. patrician taste

[Anonymous No.17857747]

>audiobook of Julius Caesar's Commentaries
>narrator is a woman with an American accent

[Anonymous No.17858181]

>narrator announces the opening and closing of parentheses