[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]

/lit/ - Literature


View post   

File: 15 KB, 600x384, 25B7938F-9563-48AC-8F36-13FDFB1FD383.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17600250 No.17600250 [Reply] [Original]

EXPLAIN THE PLOT LINES AND TWISTS TO EACH HORROR'S CALL NOVEL RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!! DONT DUMB IT DOWN FOR ME DONT TELL ME THE TWISTS ARE TOO GOOD TO SPOIL AND DONT FUCKING TELL ME THEY CAN BE READ IN ANY ORDER!!! RIGHT FUCKING NOW SOMEONE BETTER TELL ME THE TWISTS TO CALL OF THE ARCADE CALL OF THE CROCODILE CALL OF CHEROKEE CALL OF THE KAPPA AND CALL OF THE CRADLE FUCK F GARDNER!!! IM NEVER READING HIS BOOKS!!! SUM THEM UP FOR ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!

>> No.17600273

>>17600250
call of the arcade is basically a haunted arcade, but it's actually aliens

>> No.17600290

The mere mortal minds cannot possibly comprehend the deep meaning behind Master Gardner's masterpieces

>> No.17600297

>>17600273
how the fuck is that an original never been done before twist?

>> No.17600336

>>17600297
idk i didnt read it

>> No.17600347
File: 1.12 MB, 260x454, D7C5A833-C5CF-4DFD-807F-D33265421D9B.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17600347

>>17600336
SO YOU JUST FUCKING MADE IT UP? OK THIS THREAD SO FAR IS PROOF NONE OF YOU NIGGERS ACTUALLY READ ANY OF THIS GARBAGE. IT'S PROOF THAT ALL THREAD SAYING THE BOOKS ARE GOOD AND MUH TWISTS ARE MADE AND POPULATED BY FAG GUZZLER

>> No.17600358

how long are these books anyways?
I'm tempted to give them a try but I dont want to waste too much time on that

>> No.17600569

>>17600358
approximately 90-100 pages on a kindle for each book. So maybe 20,000-40,000 words?

>> No.17600581

>>17600569
fuck that
I could finish something much much better with that time
I thought they were meme books with like 20 pages each or something like that

>> No.17600607

>>17600569
They’re 40-50K words each. They appear as shorter than they are because of Gardner’s weird formatting.
>>17600273
That’s not the twist.

Read them yourself OP. This board really is filled with lazy retards who don’t really read.

>> No.17600622

>>17600581
Yes, your time is priceless. Hence why you’re on 4chan. I swear this is the laziest cop out. Anyway Arcade Kappa and Cherokee are the best ones.

>> No.17600659

>>17600622
unironically my time is better spent shitposting here than reading his books

>> No.17600699

>>17600607
>Read them yourself OP. This board really is filled with lazy retards who don’t really read.
Sum them up for me. I'm not going to slog through bad prose and poor unreadable grammar. Everyone claiming to have read them agrees Gardner's writing is bad. But the one thing they all agree on is that the plot and twists are good. I'm not going to trudge through his shit. Tell me the plots. Tell me the twists. Put your money where your mouth is, prove you've read the books, and demonstrate that his plots and twists are good.

I know you won't reply because you haven't read the books, or you'll cop out like you already have by saying "read them yourself". All you're doing is proving no one has read these pieces of shit.
Outline the plots.

>> No.17600712

>>17600622
This post is a cop out too. You're here on 4chan, clearly your time isn't precious, you've read the books, so explain the plot and twists.

>> No.17600797

>>17600712
Never said it’s precious. I just like supporting people from this board. Unlike you I’m not lazy enough to not read a few short books. You could’ve read a couple chapters from one of them instead of making all these posts. If you only going to read them why the fuck do you even care about the twists?

>> No.17600832

>>17600699
I’m not going to spoil them for some asshole who is clearly just out to shit on F Gardner. I don’t care how valuable you think your time is. No one believes that to be true but yourself.

>> No.17600896

>>17600797
>>17600832
Ok so you haven't read the books. Get the fuck out of my thread. If you did you'd know the plots and be able to summarize them. Bye bye cuntie

>> No.17600932

>>17600896
Never said I didn’t read them. I read some of them. Still not going to spoil them for someone who makes excuses for not reading.
Why do you want to know? You insist you don’t care or have the time yet here you are.

>> No.17600966

>>17600250
how much money do you think Gardner made off those books?

>> No.17600977

>>17600966
Enough to write full time apparently

>> No.17600983

>>17600966
Gardner could feel his bank account grow
He'd sure made it a long time ago
Where did F come from?
Where did F go?
Probly gone watching his bank account grow

>> No.17600997

Gardner Derangement Syndrome

>> No.17601039

>>17600932
I already explained why I want to know. Read the thread again. You haven't read the books. Tell me the twists.

>> No.17601041

>>17600983
Based

>> No.17601053

>>17601039
>I just want to know the endings but don’t want to read the actual books.

That’s hardly a reason or answer. In fact, it’s downright absurd. You could apply the same insane logic for any book. I’m not going to spoon feed you. This board is for actual discussions of books.

>> No.17601250

>>17601053
Yeah now discuss the plot asshole. Explain why it's so good. Explain why the twist is so good and original.

You're just mad because you're F. Gardner himself. You know that if anyone knew the plots to your shit books no one would read them.

>> No.17601405

>>17601250
I'm not going to indulge you any further. I thought you were just an asshole, but now I see you're actually a lunatic.

>> No.17601418

>>17601405
Ok so you've never read the books and if you have that's because you are F. Gardner.

>> No.17601481

OP the books are good BECAUSE of the twists. You are missing the point.

>> No.17601529

>>17600622
Most of us read every day anyway. Why read garbage during your designated reading time ?

>> No.17601580

>>17601529
Because they’re good. You’re dismissing them as garbage to justify not reading them. If you’ve read one you would realize this to be true.

>> No.17601594

>>17601580
I’ve read enough to know it’s garbage lol. It’s not about reading Gardner vs Going on 4chan. It’s about reading Gardner vs reading literally anything else, so please don’t give anyone this “precious time” shit in the future. Please don’t try to convince me. I won’t reply to your next post. Use it on the next guy

>> No.17601626

>>17601594
No you haven't. Because you haven't made it to the end. The endings/twists are the entire reason they're good. Clearly, you just don't want to be proven wrong. You care more about proving to yourself that they are bad, than the possibility that you might be wrong. Which is silly.

>> No.17601656
File: 79 KB, 600x500, 98D71582-9DBA-479B-B968-86B7123FB801.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17601656

This entire thread is literally pic related.

>> No.17601724

>>17601481
>>17601580
>>17601626
Plot doesn't excuse poor writing. Explain one twist. Explain how it makes the book good.

>> No.17601750

>>17601724
Sure it does. Take a look at poorly translated video games, visual novels, or anime/manga. They still have fans. A few spelling errors wouldn’t get in the way. If they do, I’m sorry but you have reading comprehension issues.
Keep trying to read a little bit every day and I’m sure you’ll get better at it. Reading is a skill. You just need to practice.

>> No.17601796

>>17601724
The writing isn't poor. I was able to understand it just fine. I think you just got filtered.

>> No.17602042

>>17601750
>>17601796
You seem to have overdosed on copium F. Gardner

>> No.17602091

>>17602042
Yes anon. Everyone you disagree with is F Gardener.

>> No.17602100

>>17602091
Yes anon. F Gardner can't post from his phone and his computer. User count hasn't gone up. Only one guy has been arguing for F. Gardner in this thread. It's you and you are F. Gardner.

>> No.17602454

>>17602100
based
>>17602042
fuck you bitch gardner

>> No.17602482

>Start losing argument
>N-No!
>Accuse them of being the person in question. Something which cannot be proven or denied.
>Heh. Looks like I win again. Nothing Personal kid.

>> No.17602506

>>17602482
you've been doing this long enough that your robotic posts are now mass retrievable in the archive

>> No.17602682

>>17602482
shut the fuck up bitch gardner

>> No.17602690

>I refuse to read something a vocal crowd has discovered before me, and yet a fear of missing out has compelled me to mask my genuine interest in the work with pseudo-maniacal shitposting

I am he, bitch ooga booga

>> No.17603140

>>17602690
>F. Gardner is still coping this hard
I think you're actually shocked that no one can summarize the plots to your shitty pamphlets. I bet you actually thought people on this board were reading them. And now it turns out no one was reading them at all and they were just shilling it ironically because it's funny since they are so bad.

>> No.17603166

>>17602100
>>17602454
>>17602506
>>17602682
>>17603140
samefag

>> No.17603184
File: 382 KB, 1125x1170, 2B907DE6-4907-4BE3-8CB7-92E099C618E6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17603184

>>17603166
Nice try F., but everyone knows its you and that your novelettes are garbage.

>> No.17603621

>>17603184
this is no proof. you merely used photoshop you loser.

>> No.17603631

>>17603184
BUY MY BOOKS YOU FUCKING CUNT

>> No.17603675

>>17603621
>>17603631
>poster count doesn't increase
Saw your neww thread F. It's a sad excuse of a thread. You're really pretending to be three different people now by using your phone, computer, and tablet?

>> No.17603816

>>17603675
shut the fuck up loser. you are only one person. my books have been downloaded thousands of times. the reason you are being so upset is purely out of jealousy.

>> No.17603832 [DELETED] 

>>17603675
Holy based

>> No.17603849

>>17603816
Based. Your the man.

>> No.17603863

gardner you should spend less money on 4chan ads and more money on an editor, fucking idiot

>> No.17603931

>>17603816
Lmao just tell me your groundbreaking plot twists.

>> No.17604412
File: 632 KB, 275x251, bosski dziadziuś.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17604412

>54 replies
>10 posters

>> No.17604433

>>17604412
Yep. Almost all of them from the guy who hates Gardner. Which is ironic since he's accusing the handful of others in this thread of samfagging.

>> No.17604634

Any advice for self publishing the way Gardner does? Is there actual money to be found in writing short novellas? Does kindle marketplace or whatever just let anyone put books up?

>> No.17604677

>>17604634
Idk. Ask Gardner. A lot of people on this board are already in contact with him.

>> No.17606671

>>17604433
That's not true F. The other half are made by you trying to defend your excuses for novels.

>> No.17606680

>>17604634
self publish on amazon, print like 100 copies of your book for initial sale, see how that goes, buy ads on 4chan and then spam lit until your book becomes a meme.