/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.1746558]

Living in the suburbs is not like living at all. I want to walk into an abandoned building and rummage through filing cabinets. I want to explore hidden caverns on an unknown beach. I want to ride a bicycle across the nation and eat food out of garbage cans. I don't want to work at a fucking Starbucks and greet people with a rootless smile. A smile with no genuine source or foundation, with no history or meaning; no wisdom, lifeless. A smile that is some sort of floating abstraction for customer service. I would rather be a beach bum than a wealthy banker. Give me sand, pot, and books, and you will see me smile from my depths.

Man is born into the world against his will. He is bombarded with sense experience for a short period of time, yet he believes he knows all. I have been on this earth for seventeen summers, seventeen winters, seventeen birthdays. Sometimes I feel as though I had been here for an eternity. I was happiest as a child. I had many friends. I laughed. I have forgotten how to do so. Sometimes I want to kill myself, or run away. I don't kill myself because I figure I should try running away first. I don't run away because I don't want to do it alone. I need a companion. I have none.

[Anonymous No.1746568]

take heart, younganon. at least you can write.

[Anonymous No.1746580]

>>1746558

>Baaawwwww, my life was too privileged to let me appreciate my good fortune, I want to die because life is too easy and I have too many options

>>1746568

Apparently you cannot read.

[Anonymous No.1746583]

>>1746558
This is hugely self-indulgent, but I could see it working as the start of a story where he runs away with an actually insane girl, their wacky adventures start out fun and liberating and end up being depressing and shit because they actually are eating out of garbage cans. Then he ends up working at a Starbucks and is okwiththis.jpg, although deeply regretting the fact that he'll never have the chance to be a wealthy banker.

[Anonymous No.1746581]

Go out and explore then. I hate when people complain about how stale and numb their worlds are. Start saving money and visit Thailand or Australia or someplace exotic to you.

I couldn't afford to travel to California (my number one travel destination) but I drove there anyways, put myself heavily in debt, but I have a million stories to tell of my time there.

I read something off 4chan once. To paraphrase: if you are going to kill yourself, don't. Instead, do something drastic, like travel. There's no excuse because your alternative was death. If your life expectancy was zero, traveling to dangerous places is actually safer. If you were going to kill yourself, and you didn't, that means you can do anything. You've given yourself another life.

Stop being a baby and grow the fuck up

[Anonymous No.1746586]

>>1746583

Exactly. You can plan that out just from this paragraph because OP's work, much like the idea you just came up with, is cliched.

[Anonymous No.1746591]

>>1746586
Hey, I never said an original story.

[Anonymous No.1746593]

freegans are as parasitic as any banker

[Anonymous No.1746600]

>>1746593
>Humans are as parasitic as any human.

[sage !eQro1H2.QA No.1746602]

What he said. --> >>1746581
I hear Libya is great this time of year!

[Anonymous No.1746618]

This sounds like premature Existentialism overwhelmed with teen angst.

Pity.

[Anonymous No.1746620]

>mfw OP is a faggoty hopeless romantic

[Anonymous No.1746624]

>>1746620
>hopeless romantic
Stick with just faggot and we have a deal.

[Anonymous No.1746630]

>>1746580
I dunno, I think it's written well enough, just because I read to the end. There's nothing that jars in terms of style or turn of phrase, it's just that the content is unbearable.

[Anonymous No.1746633]

>>1746630
Actually, to demonstrate this, I'm going to attempt a tiny change that I suspect makes OP's work much better.

[Anonymous No.1746635]

Potential for deep ruined by childish and naive misconceptions of life bogged down only further by obvious teenage depression.

Hey, I wrote this story 6 years ago!

[Anonymous No.1746644]

>>1746633

Justice: A Short But Satisying Story

"Living in the suburbs is not like living at all. I want to walk into an abandoned building and rummage through filing cabinets. I want to explore hidden caverns on an unknown beach. I want to ride a bicycle across the nation and eat food out of garbage cans. I don't want to work at a fucking Starbucks and greet people with a rootless smile. A smile with no genuine source or foundation, with no history or meaning; no wisdom, lifeless. A smile that is some sort of floating abstraction for customer service. I would rather be a beach bum than a wealthy banker. Give me sand, pot, and books, and you will see me smile from my depths.

Man is born into the world against his will. He is bombarded with sense experience for a short period of time, yet he believes he knows all. I have been on this earth for seventeen summers, seventeen winters, seventeen birthdays. Sometimes I feel as though I had been here for an eternity. I was happiest as a child. I had many friends. I laughed. I have forgotten how to do so. Sometimes I want to kill myself, or run away. I don't kill myself because I figure I should try running away first. I don't run away because I don't want to do it alone. I need a companion. I have none."

She stood silently for a second, hands on hips, then slapped him. Hard.

[Anonymous No.1746649]

AHAHAHAHA OP FEELS EMOTIONS EVERYONE MAKE FUN OF HIM HAHAHAHA WHY ARNT YOU DEAD INSIDE LIKE US AHAHA

[Anonymous No.1746655]

>>1746644
You've turned it into a cheery monologue from a shitty rom-com.

It didn't improve at all, you just moved sideways.

[Anonymous No.1746658]

>>1746649
Can't help it. OP's emotions are funny.

[Anonymous No.1746660]

You mean change it completely?

>>1746633

All you can do is add experience and subtract self-defeat.

[Anonymous No.1746661]

>>1746644
well done

[Anonymous No.1746662]

>>1746649
It isn't about feeling emotion, it's about having the ego to feel his is special enough to blog about, on an imageboard, for people over 18, when he is clearly not.

[Anonymous No.1746663]

You're young and want adventure. Go get some. Adventure is your friend, but the Starbucks smile is not your enemy, and eventually, if you're smart, you'll realize that and not hate it. That hate will only destroy you. So have your adventure and learn to love the world for what it is.

[Anonymous No.1746669]

>>1746649
That's not it at all. You must also be seventeen winters old if you agree with OP. Grow a few more years and you can spot the angst of a teenager like THAT. No one wants to read that selfish garbage.

[Anonymous No.1746672]

>>1746655
Yeah, fair enough. In my defence, though, if acted well that might be one of the actually amusing bits from said shitty romcom. I mean, the leading guy would never say it because it would utterly alienate the audience and they'd never symphathise with him again, so it would need to be an annoying side-character or just one episode in a montage of disastrous speed-dating. And that's where the actual funny bits of shitty romcoms are generally to be found, because the central relationship is always a comedy graveyard.

[Anonymous No.1746685]

TO EACH THEIR OWN

……..♥..lovel…♥
…..♥..lovelovelo…♥
…♥..lovelovelove….♥
.. ♥.lovelovelovelove…♥……………♥….♥
.♥..lovelovelovelovelo…♥………♥..lovel….♥
♥..lovelovelovelovelove…♥…..♥…lovelovelo♥
♥.. lovelovelovelovelove…♥….♥…lovelovelo.♥
.♥..lovelovelovelovelove…♥..♥…lovelovelo…♥
..♥…lovelovelovelovelove..♥…lovelovelo…♥
…♥….lovelovelolovelovelovelovelovelo…♥
…..♥….lovelovelovelovelovelovelov…♥
……..♥….lovelovelovelovelovelo…♥
………..♥….lovelovelovelove…♥
……………♥…lovelovelo….♥
………………♥..lovelo…♥
…………………♥…....♥
…………………..♥..♥
……………………♥

[Anonymous No.1746688]

ERASE THAT SHIT! Here's what OP should have written:

I put all my effort into giving a genuine smile to the customers at work. It wastes all my energy. When I get home all I can do is sleep. The American suburbs are plastic bubbles; the American dream: lifeless.

I'm quitting tomorrow.

Going to fucking Abbottabad, Pakistan.

[Anonymous No.1746692]

>>1746672
>shitty "indie" rom-com
There, fixed, now the faggot lead can say all that shit.

[Anonymous No.1746697]

OP here. We live on food stamps and gov. welfare so we're not rich. We live in a nice white neighborhood though.

That's my last post for this thread.

[Anonymous No.1746695]

>>1746688
Trading in one country's suburb for another country's suburb.

[Anonymous No.1746702]

>>1746688
Leave one set of suburbs for another, I like the ironic twist, it really reflects the juvenile nature of op's whining while delivering it in a way that is more agreeable.

[Anonymous No.1746705]

underage b& gtfo

[Anonymous No.1746711]

>>1746697
So now you are complaining that other people's hard work and money go to feeding your lazy family?

Delete the fucking thread and go get a job, food stamps my ass you're posting on the internet and I don't want to hear any bullshit about this being a library computer, that's more taxpayer money you'd be wasting.

[Anonymous No.1746789]

>>1746697
OP, if you're still here and the post was a non-fiction expression of your feelings, don't take the comments here hard. It does read like stereotypical teen angst, but that's pretty much expected of (developed world) teenagers, which is what you are. You should expect to look back on this in much the same way as the anons here do. The good news is that I think it's pretty well-written despite the content, because otherwise there's no way I would have read to the end of it.

PS rummaging through filing cabinets? Not all it's cracked up to be.

[Anonymous No.1746798]

>>1746711
...don't look back on it like this anon though, I suspect he's a little... right-wing.

[Anonymous No.1746826]

>>1746558
Eighteen and I sympathise with you OP.

Nothing wrong with wanting to be a traveling vagabond, just eat the right berries when you hit Alaska.

[Anonymous No.1746833]

Living in the suburbs is not like living at all.
>go live somewhere else then
I want to walk into an abandoned building and rummage through filing cabinets. I want to explore hidden caverns on an unknown beach. I want to ride a bicycle across the nation and eat food out of garbage cans.
>all cliched shit you can find on any cartoon/movie/etc
I don't want to work at a fucking Starbucks
>who does?
and greet people with a rootless smile. A smile with no genuine source or foundation, with no history or meaning; no wisdom, lifeless.
>this is just bad. smiles contain wisdom? history? a source or foundation? too abstract.
A smile that is some sort of floating abstraction for customer service.
>again, too abstract
I would rather be a beach bum than a wealthy banker. Give me sand, pot, and books,
>without bankers you have no books
and you will see me smile from my depths.
>the hell does that even mean?

Man is born into the world against his will. He is bombarded with sense experience for a short period of time, yet he believes he knows all.
>wut? explain. how short is the short period? what constitutes a sense experience?
I have been on this earth for seventeen summers, seventeen winters, seventeen birthdays.
>yeah we get it. be more subtle
sometimes I feel as though I had been here for an eternity.
>eye roll
I was happiest as a child.
>cliched
I had many friends. I laughed. I have forgotten how to do so.
>cliched
Sometimes I want to kill myself, or run away. I don't kill myself because I figure I should try running away first. I don't run away because I don't want to do it alone. I need a companion. I have none.
>cliched

overall, too cliched or too vague.

[Anonymous No.1747386]

>>1746558
Good story bro, really enjoyed it. Oh wait, im uneducated 18yo depressed faggot. Tho know how you feel.

where are the adventures

[Brynjar !!rSaloUbhLV6 No.1747393]

>Wants adventure
>Doesn't seek it
>Works at starbucks
>Complains

[Anonymous No.1747403]

Wow I love writing about the suburbs, it's very compelling! So much so that it makes up 90% of rejected MFA portfolios! And then it gets published. (lolfreedom)

[Anonymous No.1747411]

Well, man, sometimes I feel the same as you do. But then I stop it and am awesome instead. Srsly, it works. Stop fucking complaining.

[Anonymous No.1747416]

His cane comes in front of him always. The old man shuffles to the counter, and taps down four fifty-cent pieces. There is gray leaking from his head, his ears, his nose. His cane is a burnt mahogany brown and on the handle a swan's face has been carved in to it. I wonder if it's more difficult to smile when all your skin hangs like that.
"Coffee, there, please." His s's whistle. I smile weakly and take his money and ask him what he'd like in it. I am so tired.
"Some creams and some sugars, please." He smiles back, the edges of his face holding up his friendliness like a tent pole: laboured, but stable.

"There you are."
"Thanks, son."
"You're welcome."
I wondered, in the exchange, if one day the old man's heart would fail, or if his had already done so in some way that I am just beginning to understand: will i be one day laying on the floor, everybody doing the dinosaur?

[Anonymous No.1747422]

I wanted to do all that shit, too.
But being the misanthropic tortured soul that I am I didn't need or want a companion.

Everything turned out quite splendid.

[Anonymous No.1747427]

>what the fuck is this sh-
>seventeen
>mfw

[Anonymous No.1747432]

People who haven't spent their entire lives in suburbia don't get it OP :( Place sucks a dick, especially if you don't fit in like you're supposed to. I'm a child of nature, love the outdoors and everything, but anymore there's nowhere to go where I live. I've considered dropping college and hitchhiking across the nation actually, just to get out in the world a bit. Probably never will :x

[Anonymous No.1747437]

>will i be one day laying on the floor, everybody doing the dinosaur?
Full retard. I'm going to walk the monster mash, opening the graveyard smash.

[Anonymous No.1747444]

I think OP could be a successful author for the teen (young adult) market .

[Anonymous No.1747540]

i hate when people complain about suburbs. cause it's so fucking awful living in a stable and safe neighbourhood where carpet bombs DON'T rain on you and where men DON'T break into your home and rape and torture your family. Or at least, statistically speaking it doesn't happen very often

people who complain about their stable lives are narcissistic and self-centered. grow some cultural and social awareness

[Anonymous No.1747581]

For fuck sake, hurry up and read Nietzsche.

[Anonymous No.1747587]

>>1746558
Troll post, but whatever. Your paragraphs are bullshit. You could leave at any time. You choose the security and ease of life. You know this to be true.

[Anonymous No.1747588]

>>1747540
>i hate when people complain about suburbs. cause it's so fucking awful living in a stable and safe neighbourhood where carpet bombs DON'T rain on you and where men DON'T break into your home and rape and torture your family. Or at least, statistically speaking it doesn't happen very often

The "your sufferings don't matter because there's always somebody who has suffered worse" argument is disingenuous bullshit.
Why do you not tell people that their happiness is meaningless as there has always been somebody happier than they? It's just as absurd.

[Anonymous No.1747590]

>>1746558
Also don't kill yourself. If you want to give up on life, do it by living only for self pleasure. At least then there is a chance that you might snap out of it one day.

[Anonymous No.1747712]

I don't blame you OP.

I've always lived in the busiest and most chaotic big cities: London; Hong Kong; Bangkok; Jakarta etc.

The more chaotic the better.

I lived in Melbourne, Australia once and I was just uneasy at night, especially because I at times had trouble getting to sleep. I finally figured it was due to the fact that it was so damn quiet. I was just so used to ambient noise pollution that without it was like when the parents turn off a child's night light for the first time.

The more messy the better, the ones in the orient were generally more fascinating.

So many people, so many stories; the raw humanity of it all, the human noise! Ah!

I've always considered the quiet life of suburbia to be the next closest thing to death, and have vowed that if I were to ever end up there, I would end myself (Melbourne, sleepy and pedestrian as fuck, was pushing it).

[N7 !!n7knod9KpyO No.1747764]

I don't why people complain about the suburbs so much. The largest town I've ever lived in had 3,500 people and it was the largest one around.

I'm currently in a town of 1,500.

[Anonymous No.1747824]

OP is saying is that he doesn't want to be a part of "the mass of men [who] lead lives of quiet desperation." You act as though this is a ludicrous and childish desire, when it's something that has been touched on by literature for generations. There's no reason to chide OP over his desires.

[Apostrophe !8hzzLmleDA No.1747832]

Oh my, as I was reading OP's post I was listening to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5dcEXpViiI&feature=player_embedded#at=185

made it 100x more depressing

[satan !OW9DVqIqy6 No.1747842]

>>1747832

RICHARD D. MOTHERFUCKING JAMES.

props for good taste

[Apostrophe !8hzzLmleDA No.1747866]

>>1747842
thank you good sir.
I only recently discovered his piano work, I tended to listen to the more ambient stuff or his balls-to-the-walls crazy techno.

[Anonymous No.1747886]

just find a girl to stick your weiner in and ull b chill with that