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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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17444007 No.17444007 [Reply] [Original]

Kant literally shit himself in his bed /lit/, a female came to tuck him into bed and he froze where he lay. Sweat rolled down his humongous forehead, and then dripped onto his crooked, bent and jew'd nose. He quickly imagined scenarios where the woman would just walk past him or walk to the next room, only for her to just dissappear through the doorway. He wrote about the matter in a letter to his friend, David Hume: "I was trembling with the utmost fear, my mind picturing images of my stiffened shaft being noticed, that came like a visceral tidal wave, in a fraction of a second I was flipped from one mood to the next. I slowly lay my head back down with uncontrolled excrement seeping down my garments"

CATEGORICAL FEAR
A POSTERIORI TREMBLING
ABSOLUTE SHAMBLES
nice one /lit/

>> No.17444025

>>17444007
>a female came to tuck him into bed
kant is so lucky, i would pay money for a woman to tuck me into bed and say goodnight to me

>> No.17444027

>>17444007
Hmm

>> No.17444037

>>17444025
He liked to sleep rolled up like a cigar, it was soothing to him I've read. (He also strictly requestedale servants to do it, so he wouldn't embarrass the ladies). Something to do with his autism.

>> No.17444051
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17444051

>>17444037
sounds comfy. i usually just hug a pillow and pretend its a woman

>> No.17444059

>>17444007
Kant?
More like Can't
haaaaaaaaa
ha ha ha ha.

>> No.17444068

Why is there no "Stirner shit himself in the woods" thread in the catalogue?

>> No.17444076

>>17444051
I have a gf, but due to my countries lockdown restrictions I cannot see her. I hate it anon :( all I have is /lit/, my monotonous job, and my books.

>> No.17444078

i mean why even read Kant anymore? Einstein already disproved him

>> No.17444084

>>17444068
Thanks for letting me know anon

>> No.17444088

>>17444076
what country? i'm from rural australia and my life has not been affected by the pandemic in any way

>> No.17444108
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17444108

was excrement limited to shit then as well? seems like he's saying he splooged in his pants rather than literally shitting himself

>> No.17444110

>>17444076
Something something black dicks

>> No.17444119

>>17444088
UK cocker

100,000 deaths surpassed a few days ago at this point, we're fucked.

>> No.17444124

>>17444037
There is no denying this man was autistic beyond comprehension

>> No.17444134

>>17444119
my ancestor :)

>> No.17444147

>>17444007
>I was trembling with the utmost fear, my mind picturing images of my stiffened shaft being noticed, that came like a visceral tidal wave, in a fraction of a second I was flipped from one mood to the next. I slowly lay my head back down with uncontrolled excrement seeping down my garments
Now I want to read Hume's reaction

>> No.17444155

>>17444134
Big up aussies, I heard you guys were rascist towards us Brits but you seem sound generally

>> No.17444156

>Kant
Someone post that obese e-celeb

>> No.17444163

>>17444155
>rascist towards us Brits
assuming you're an anglo we are the same race. its more banter, not any actual hatred

>> No.17444190

>>17444147
>"So one must ask the question, why is Kant fearful? Surely there exists an element of the Spook in him, where the anatomy of genders and implicit and inherent expressive vivaciousness of the female sex causes him to have a psychologically detrimental reaction."

>> No.17444214

>>17444163
Yeah anglo. I heard from a wo4k colleague who moved to Australia temporarily, that his son got extremely bullied for being english, and fully grown ass men would heckle them in the streets. Isn't it a quite nationalistic country? Times might have changed since he came back however, this was a good 20-30 years ago.

>> No.17444220

>>17444037
lol imagine being rolled into a cigar and having a woman sit on your face haha wouldn't that suck haha i can't breathe aha

>> No.17444225

>>17444190
That sounds more Stirnerish

>> No.17444248

>>17444076
same position as you anon. I just call her when I'm off to bed and hug a pillow and pretend it's her. it hurts too much bros

>> No.17444262

>>17444214
>that his son got extremely bullied for being english
thats just kids finding a reason to pick on someone because he is different. him being english isn't a reason they would actually hate him, he being the only englishman makes him an easy target and kids make fun of him so the bullying doesn't happen to themselves.
>and fully grown ass men would heckle them in the streets
yeah thats weird, when it comes to adults i don't know why it would still happen unless it was playful banter. it must be an anomaly for it to happen to that extent
nationalism here is polarised heavily between self hated or tattooing the southern cross on yourself with most people in-between who don't think about it

>> No.17444265
File: 103 KB, 480x599, 480px-Immanuel_Kant_portrait.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17444265

>Kant had eccentric beliefs about health and wellness. Kant wrapped himself up very tightly in his bed, and his manservant Lampe had an almost maternal relationship with him. Kant had pseudoscientific beliefs about pollutants in the air during cold weather (it would be anachronistic to refer to ‘germs’ for his understanding), and the importance of sleeping properly. Kant believed in the importance of regular and consistent sleeping patterns for reasons us moderns would perhaps disagree with. Kant believed that sleep brought us closer to death, insofar as having more time in bed led to having less time alive.

Lmfao this is literally Spinoza levels of autisimo

>> No.17444292

>>17444262
>nationalism here is polarised heavily between self hated or tattooing the southern cross on yourself with most people in-between who don't think about it
what i should have said is that the level of nationalism here doesn't differ much from other places in general other than its extremes

>> No.17444313
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17444313

Be Kant
>absolute (1.57 m) manlet
>believed in a 'Categorical Imperative', no exceptions.
>liked to be swaddled like a babby, and preferred a man to do it, so no lass would clock his stiffened shaft.
>would've lost to Spinoza in a Spider death battle. (Spinoza pbuh, had a prized collection of fighting spiders. Kant had a shitty house spider that he hated)
>Died a "weak and feeble" old bastard
Kant BTFO'd

>> No.17444371

>>17444225
Hume was the OG Stirner

>> No.17444402
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17444402

>>17444248
Goddamn brother, I never thought I'd relate so much to someone on 4scam. Blessings be upon you anon, you showed me the glimmering light of humanity within this repugnant anonymous board.

>> No.17444440

The numbers are coming bros! The numbers!!!

>> No.17446031

>>17444119
The pathetic status of the modern brit is so shameful. I am nauseated by the absolute fucking state of how cucked britons are. It's fucking disgusting.

>> No.17446053

>>17444119
burgertown has over 500k lmao

>> No.17446072

>>17444265
is this from a biography? I gotta read me one. Also will you extrapolate on Spinoza’s autism? Idk anything about him that isn’t related to philo

>> No.17446078

>>17444025
he did

>> No.17446459

bump for categorical tism

>> No.17446928
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17446928

>>17446072
>According to Colerus, an early biographer, Spinoza liked to amuse himself by transferring a spider he had caught into a rival spider’s web, pitting them against each other in mortal combat. Another variation was throwing a fly or two into the mix. These insect battles reportedly made Spinoza roar with laughter. He also enjoyed examining his insect finds under a microscope.

>> No.17447005

>>17444037
>You'll never smoke a mummified Kant cigar worth $2 million

>> No.17447066

>>17444440
witnessed

>> No.17447105

>>17444444

>> No.17447145
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17447145

Most accurate Kant? This waa modeled from his death mask. You won't find a more accurate representation bros

>> No.17447196

>>17444119
Bruh, my gf is a care worker that visits old people every day, but she still comes over to me. They came up with that whole ‘bubble system’. How cucked can you be?

>> No.17447204

>>17447145
Horrible.

>> No.17447217

>>17447196
Two separate families mate, she lives with her grandmother and mum, both of whom are old and haven't had the vaccination (same with my senpai), and I'm not too keen on getting a 200 quid fine since I would have to drive 40 mins to her

>> No.17447310
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17447310

>>17444110
you are mentally ill

>> No.17447325

>>17444119
Lmao I'm in UK and I see my girlfriend every other day. Stop cucking yourself we're never coming out of lockdown.

>> No.17447390

>>17444007
Source? I can't find anything on this, I think you're baiting

>> No.17447403

>>17447325
Have fun with the fine