Call of the arcade

[Anonymous No.17297964]

I really think i was on to something with this one. Anybody care to tell me what they tihnk? I really think you would love this thing if you are into genre fiction or have an open mind!

[Anonymous No.17297969]

>>17297964
Did you write this? Why is this book being posted so much

[F. Gardner No.17297990]

>>17297969
To say i don't believe it's great would be a lie, and yes, i did write this, but you should seriously considering trying it - it's free on kindle.

[Frank E. Gardner No.17298129]

>>17297969
Don't believe this anon: >>17297990
I wrote this. The reason it's posted so much, is because it is, great. My books have an unnatural prose to them, akin to a fever dream, which only aids the horrific atmosphere I've woven, in my tales. My benighted series has been met with great reception, and I implore you to try it out for yourself. The best part is, they can be read, in any order.

[Anonymous No.17298174]

STOP SHILLING

[Anonymous No.17298427]

>>17297964
Unironically a great book/series WELL worth the price of admission, I think Gardners giving them away desu

[Frank Gardner No.17298550]

>>17298129
>>17297964
Don't believe these anons, it is i, Frank Gardner, who wrote this book - what makes it tick is the tie-ins to gaming culture, and that they can be read, as this anon has said, to his credit, i believe, in any order. Ideally, they - again, this is not of immense importance - COULD be read in any order, but, they should all be read, and, if they are all read and enjoyed, you should consider ordering them off of Amazon. One of the cutting edge things about these, my, novels is that the grammar is intentionally skewed in places, and should be read with intent, if it should please the reader to give a humble author the benefit of the doubt. I wish you all a good time with my book, and have a good evening.

[Anonymous No.17298579]

I hate this

[Anonymous No.17298627]

>>17297969
He's trying to make the real author look bad.

[Anonymous No.17298665]

>>17298550
>>17298129
>>17297964
Don't believe a word from these impostors, I'm Gardner and I wrote this book, please read my book I will suck your dick if you do because I'm a faggot

[Anonymous No.17298734]

>>17298665
No you're not.

[Fifty Million Francs Gardner No.17298770]

>>17298665
If u pay me, some fifty million francs, i'll eat so much cheese i can't poop, then i'll let you put an auger, as if one, man or woman, were icefishing, to my rectum! In fact, i should even allow the esteemed Reader, fan, or, dareisay, non-fan, passageways into the labyrynthine corridors of my bowels, dark and claustrophobic as my novel, The Call of the Arcade, available, for free, on Kindle, through my rectum, and, as well, i shall allow latex, even though i am allergic, as a treat to The Ineffable Reader. Farewell, future Ineffables, and please have a good time with my novel, reviewing, five stars i should hope, on Good Reads, before, after, and throughout, and on as many different accounts, your readign. I humbly quit you.

[F. Gardner No.17298891]

I'm the real Faggot (F.) Gardner, and I confess to being a shit writer who annoys the shit out of everyone here

[Anonymous No.17298916]

I wrote it dumbasses now fuck off

I'm trans btw not sure if that matters

[Anonymous No.17298931]

>>17298427
Gardner, please stop. This isn't funny anymore, get off /lit/ and do something productive.

[Franklin Gardenier No.17298944]

>>17297964
Il y a quelque chose à propos de mes livres qui ne peut pas être dit sur les autres ...
Ils peuvent être lus dans n'importe quel ordre!
Vous en sortirez avec des conclusions ultérieures à celle que vous pourriez avoir dans une autre lecture
Peut-être que ce n'est pas original de ma propre création, mais mon interprétation de cette idée est suprême à toute concurrence
Ces complots ont été accueillis par des éloges triomphants. Le frisson frappé dans chaque ligne salue la bizarrerie de la structure, laissant le lecteur agréablement décalé. Donc, dans ma hâte de répondre, il est de votre obligation de reprendre mon manteau en plongeant dans "APPEL DE L'ARCADE"

[Anonymous No.17298957]

Call of the Arcade is like “The Room” of literature. The main characters are even named Johnny and Mark.

[Anonymous No.17299425]

>>17298931
>Man who has written 5 books being told to be productive by some loser on the internet. How ironic.

[Anonymous No.17299529]

>>17298734
I am

[Anonymous No.17299580]

You guys are gonna meme me into paying 99 cents for Call of the Crocodile aren't you

[Anonymous No.17299853]

>>17298770

this is the greatest post i've read in a while. Please write a book as a ghost writing Gardner.

[Anonymous No.17299976]

>>17299580
Yes.

[F. Gardener No.17300023]

Don't believe these other guys. They claim to write books but the truth is I was a book along. It was rigged from the start.

[Anonymous No.17300648]

>>17298957
Haha I may have to read it then the room is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

“You BITCH!!!”

[Anonymous No.17300656]

>>17297964
Fine I’ll read your dumb book if it really is free on kindle

[Anonymous No.17301320]

>>17297969
He wrote it and this is how he shills. He’s even paid people to write review here, does it constantly.

You get numb to him.

[Anonymous No.17301360]

>>17298665
I am the real F. Gardner. I’ve been away, I know. It’s been a productive week for me so I’d like to share with you this advertisement. ALL MY BOOKS ARE FREE, and available on Amazon, B&N’s, and hell Apple Books. I’m also happy to announce a New Trilogy inspired by my mother whom I used to fuck when dad was not around.

[Anonymous No.17301407]

Would the real slim shady please stand up

[Anonymous No.17302373]

It's a masterpiece.

[Anonymous No.17302935]

>>17298174
talking about a book isn't shilling.

[Anonymous No.17303014]

>>17298944
C'est legendaire

[Anonymous No.17303089]

My prediction is that all this shilling will lead a few anons (myself included) to read the book ironically and start memeing it. Then others will follow just so they are in on the joke and it will get memed to death leading newfags to think that it's actually a good book, ending up with it becoming a cult classic.
The eternal 4chan cycle of dumb asses.
Screencap this post

[Anonymous No.17303113]

>>17303089
Sounds plausible. I think we might be witnessing this happening right now.

[Anonymous No.17303139]

>>17303089
Fuck off Gardner. You're not going to astroturf your book into 'meme status'.

[Anonymous No.17303164]

>>17303139

le edgy internet guy

[Anonymous No.17303175]

>>17303139
im not even the guy, its just my prediction

[Frank Gardner No.17303195]

>>17303175
A classic, is a classic, is a classic, is a classic you can read in any order

[Anonymous No.17303200]

>Please buy my book

[Anonymous No.17303229]

>>17297990
>>17298129
>>17298550
I don't know why, but these posts had me laughing out loud.

[Anonymous No.17303232]

>>17303200
Thicc dicc spicc kicc tricc Nicc

[Frank E. Gardner No.17303242]

>>17303089
I can honestly, see this happening. I mean combine the meme status, with the well-written horror, and the general nicheness of it; you have, an instant, cult classic.

[Anonymous No.17303271]

>>17297964
I'll tell you what OP
I'll read your books if theres a way to download them for free online

[Frank E. Gardner No.17303306]

>>17303271
There is! With Kindle Unlimited, every single one of my acclaimed books are free!

[Franklin Gardner, Author Extro(...) No.17303388]

>>17303271
Maybe, after you read the 4.1 stars on goodreads, and compare it to the score of Jamieson Joyce's novels, particulary Ulysses, you will change your mind, and come to the realization, which is inevitable regardless, for you can't deny the truth a whole lifetime, that the series is, objectively so, i might add without overreaching, better, in fact, than The Esteemed Jamieson Joyce, by large margins, in fact an abyss impossible for Mr. Joyce to close, poor guy, for Ulysses cannot be read in any order, and does not provide the reader with an unquellable darkness, seeping into every cell, piercing the reader's mind, skin, nerves, heart, and, alas, SOUL... BEWARE YE WHO ENTER THIS SERIES...
Free on Kindle, make sure you leave a positive Good Reads Review, and every person who buys it on amazon, for 45.99$ USD, and sends me their purchase receipt on a 4chan post in which, one sees my name, will be entered into a contest for a free Zoom chat, with me.

[Anonymous No.17303501]

>>17303306
Cool. I'm going to read them. Wish me luck guys.

[Francesco Gardner No.17303580]

>>17298944
>>17298550
>>17298129
>>17297990
>>17297964
Non credere a questi negri, sono io il vero autore Francesco (frocio) Gardner. Se vuoi puoi ammirare la mia stupenda prosa gratis grazie ad Amazon.
Ricorda che si possono leggere in qualsiasi ordine, è la che si dimostra la mia genialità.

[Anonymous No.17303672]

Someone should post the entire book on a thread here so everyone can make fun of the writing.

[Anonymous No.17303787]

>>17303200
Whose the, Chad?

[Anonymous No.17303798]

>>17303787
F Gardner. The man who destroyed /lit.

[Anonymous No.17304037]

Wtf did he mean by this?

[Anonymous No.17304076]

Have some respect the man is barely cold.
>>17302790
>>17302790
>>17302790

[Anonymous No.17304088]

>>17304076
Sad. Which one of you did it?

[Anonymous No.17304100]

>>17304088
Somebody at &amp must have pulled the trigger.

[The REAL Frank Gardner No.17304195]

>>17297990
>>17298129
>>17298550
>>17303580
>>17303388
>>17303306
>>17303242
>>17303195
>>17298944

Niggers, all of you.

I've made a cool book, go read it pls.

[Anonymous No.17304242]

>>17304037
based

[Frank E. Gardner No.17304248]

>>17304195
We have made the greatest book,

[G. Fardner No.17304255]

>>17304248
None can surpass OUR literary divinity. WE have become the penultimate, WE have become icons.

[Anonymous No.17304262]

>>17304248
Maybe the real Frank E. Gardner was the Calls we made along the way

[Anonymous No.17304272]

>>17304100
The Death of Fred. Gardner.

[Frank E. Gardner No.17304278]

>>17304255
Finally, someone, understands. Someone has finally, read my books, in the true order.

[Anonymous No.17304279]

>>17304076
RIP F GARDNER YOU WILL NOT BE MISSED

[Anonymous No.17304294]

Is that....a CROCODILE!?!?

AHHH!!! I'm going insane!

[Frank E. Gardner No.17304345]

>>17297964
Here's the new cover!

[Frank E. Gardner No.17304349]

>>17304345
This man is an imposter.

[Anonymous No.17304386]

>>17304345
>That review

Filtered.

[Anonymous No.17304447]

at least 30 of these posts are the same person

[Copyright F. Gardner No.17304564]

>>17303089
Id like this

[Anonymous No.17304657]

>>17297964
Just downloaded the Amazon, Kindle apps and got the free sample of crocodile.

It’s actually full of grammatical errors and is just badly written generally.

3 pages in, gave up, better things to read I’m afraid.

[Anonymous No.17304658]

pure gold: the thread

[Anonymous No.17304718]

>>17301407
>shill shady

Fixed that for ya.

[Anonymous No.17304794]

>>17304657
Why do Zoomers like this have such short attention spans? To be fair, you need an insanely high IQ to understand Call of the Crocodile.

[Anonymous No.17304910]

I've read Call of the Arcade and Call of the Crocodile. Arcade is maybe worth it but Crocodile isn't. IDK about the rest.

[Anonymous No.17304917]

>>17304910
Cherokee takes places right after Arcade.

[Frank E. Gardner No.17304925]

>>17304917
Uh, no. My books can be read in any order, and your simplistic idea of chronology is dust, in, the, wind, in my horrific series.

[Anonymous No.17304945]

.

[Anonymous No.17304976]

>>17304925
You're not F. Gardner. You haven't even bothered to read the books of the man you're impersonating. Call of the Cherokee has references to Arcade.

[Frank E. Gardner No.17305025]

>>17304976
>You haven't even bothered to read
No, I haven't read them. I WROTE them. My books reference each other, of course, yet, this doesn't denote a chronological order. Each book you read is the current place in the Call of the Horror timeline, there is no past or present. Claiming the Cherokee is before Arcade, is as if claiming Nature was before Man.

I strongly urge you to reread my series to gardner a better understanding of them. It's free right now with Kindle Unlimited, which has a free 2 month trial. It's like piracy, but you get to support the author!

[Anonymous No.17305049]

>>17305025
Gardner thoughts on Evola?

[Anonymous No.17305467]

>>17305025
>I WROTE them
You clearly didn't. You haven't said anything about the actual plots, other than your made up summaries.

[Anonymous No.17305651]

>>17305467
>>>17305025
>>I WROTE them
>You clearly didn't. You haven't said anything about the actual plots, other than your made up summaries.
Hey man, have some respect wtf ...

[Fredrick garner No.17305835]

>>17297964
>>17298129
>>17298129
>>17298550
>>17298770
>>17298944
>>17300023
>>17303242
>>17303388
>>17303580
>>17304255
Ignore these wayward baffoons, I, F garner, am the real F garner writer of the call of X series, because I am F garner, buy my new book call of the shark, free on kindle, it's a very good. Book you should buy its free on kindle, very good.

[Anonymous No.17306048]

>>17305835
prove it

[Anonymous No.17306648]

>>17305025
Why did you use the word N*gger to describe every black person?

[Anonymous No.17306722]

>>17305835
Okay, wow. I am glad I found you. So, important question. Why do you use the word N*gger for every black person?

Is this an allusion to something?

[F Gardnericus No.17307303]

>>17305835

No, I'M F GARDNERICUS!

[Anonymous No.17307362]

Please pdf bros

[Anonymous No.17307382]

>>17297964
worst advertisement campaign over

[Anonymous No.17307572]

This is a legendary thread

[Anonymous No.17307577]

>>17307382
Really? Because it seems to be working.

[Anonymous No.17307603]

>>17307577
Have any of you been stupid enough to buy it yet?

[F.Grdnr No.17307675]

>>17307603
Yeah i've bought it, and, i must say, i quite enjoy it, the prose was stellar, and i felt as if i had known the author, known him well, yes, all of my life, for he was so articulate, and seemed to share all my fears. That scene, those who have read will surely recognize, in which a man, a black man, as it is politically correct to say, gets eaten by the vagina of a woman, her skin white as a wedding dress, who, for she has known it all before it happened, has drugged her husband into a perceptive yet paralyzed state, akin to the night terrors i feel every night, in order to have this niblack man crawl into her body, until he must force his way out from the woman's eyes, but not before he takes control of the white woman's body, seducing her all-too-aware husband the next night, and, with a lick of the labia lips, castrates the husband with his teeth. The husband, relatable to the average human, loses all meaning in life, and resorts to wandering arcade rooms, one more ball in the world's pinball machine, being flicked to and fro by traumas he can't fully explain, or, for that matter, understand, but wandering, yes, wandering arcade rooms, like the one he met his wedding dress white wife in, looking for blaiggers to castrate in revenge. I shan't spoil more of this, lest the reader desire to have ten elevenths of the plot to discover themselves, in this cornucopia of horror, trauma, destruction, frunklin gardner, poor troubled bastard, has concocted for us.

[Anonymous No.17307766]

I admire the hustle, but goddamn, dude. Take a break every now and again.

[Anonymous No.17307776]

>>17307675
"Call of the arcade: a harrowing commentary on race relations and the disillusionment of America, which can be read in any order." - Harold Bloom

[Anonymous No.17307914]

>>17307766

You will never be an F. Gardner.

[Anonymous No.17307924]

The combination of the endless ads for your books and mods allowing your shilling just because you paid for advertising resulted in my enabling ad blocking on 4chan. I was OK with ads, figure I use the service for free so should accept them, but this took it too far.

[Better Homes and F. Gardner No.17307978]

>>17307675

You might be interested in how I got the inspiration for this scene. Before I came to /lit/ I actually had a long career as a crocodile hunter. I watched several friends die wrestling these beasts. The call is a real thing, as is punching your way out of them from the inside.

[Better Homes and F. Gardner No.17308011]

>>17307924

[Copyright F. Gardner No.17308869]

There's no niggers in my books.

Futa tho