/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.17222961]

Ok boys. I decided to take a plunge for you all. I read “The Call” books. Some of it was painful to read due to poor editing. BUT I'm going to review all of them.

Call of the Arcade
Surprise! This one is good. This is Gardener's best book. While I did enjoy parts of all of F. Gardener's books, it's not even comparable. The reason he likely advertised this book is because it's an enjoyable B-Movie type story. It's science fiction and stands out from the rest. Characters seem better developed. The antagonist is truly despicable yet you wonder what his motives are. If you get to this part, you're probably going to enjoy the rest.

Call of the Cradle
I liked portions of it. There's more characters in this one than the others with no real protagonist. Not terrible. But Gardener re-uses some of his ideas in this one. The main villain is pretty good in this and the ending is okay....just really goofy. Gardener is at least self aware of this as he pokes fun of the ending and how it happens in the narrative. What Gardener doesn't realize is that doesn't mean it's any less absurd. One of the most asinine and silly conclusions to a book I can think of. The fact that the book points this out and is otherwise serious in nature, makes it even stranger.

Call of the Crocodile
The most complicated book of these. It's much harder to follow and constantly references The Divine Comedy and Peter Pan. The tone is also lacking. It goes back and forth between seeming like a children's book to being extremely violent in it's content. Gardener attempts to do some similar things that he did in Arcade. Weird artistic comparisons he draws form the plot. He does the same sort of thing in Arcade by drawing parallels to Faust. But in Arcade he does this MUCH MUCH better. In some ways I kind of think it's hard to believe that the same guy that wrote Arcade wrote all of these other ones. Arcade seems like it was written by a creative genius who just didn't hire an editor. The bulk of the rest of his books feel like they were written by lunatics. It's not a bad book. I would even recommend it because this one has one of the most insane plot twists I've ever seen. I won't spoil it. But halfway through the book there's this one part where suddenly all of the confusing plot turns come together and starts to make sense. I have a feeling Gardener made this book because of this idea and just built the rest of the story around it. I will give credit where it's due and say it's extremely experimental. I can't think of any other story that does the plot twist Call of the Crocodile does here. If you don't like the twist then you'll probably hate the book. The main reason I would recommend it at all is simply because the build up and delivery of the big reveal is so strange. I have the most to say about this book because of how confusing it is. It makes me wonder if Gardener's original goal with this book was to intentionally make the most confusing book ever written.

[Anonymous No.17222963]

>Call of the Kappa
Almost feels like a totally different book series. It doesn't have any kids in the story, unlike the rest. It's also about martial arts. Interestingly enough it's more about the history of martial arts than action sequences. There's very little action scenes even in the book which is bizarre since it's about martial arts and Asian mythology. It was relaxing to read in the way I find reading history to be interesting. I would probably rank this book somewhere in the middle of his stuff.

>Call of the Cherokee
My second favorite of his books. If I were to suggest one of these other than Arcade it would be this one. The whole “Read these books in any order” gimmick Gardener's has been running surprisingly works well here. If you want to read all of these books this one would probably be most enjoyable if you read it last. I realized all of the connections Gardener's was trying to make with his other books in this one the most. Has the most references to his other books. It does the mystery or whodunit type thing that Arcade does halfway though the book in this. He also re-uses plot devices again. I looked up when Gardener's had published these books and this appears to be the 4th one. I don't know if that's because he already wrote them. The publishing dates could be out of order. It makes sense because this book and Cradle re-use a lot of ideas from the other books.

[Anonymous No.17222974]

>>17222961

[Anonymous No.17222987]

>>17222961
based i heard you can read them in any order, is this true?

[Anonymous No.17222989]

>>17222974
Get lost. Talking about books isn't advertising. I didn't even like all of these.

[Anonymous No.17222999]

>>17222987
Not really. I would recommend only reading Arcade because it's great, and maybe Cherokee because it's decent.
Kappa is comfy, but not on the same level of quality as Arcade.
Only read Crocodile is you really really want to see a strange fucking twist. Same kind of applies to Cradle I guess.

Cherokee seems like it should be read last.

[Anonymous No.17223020]

>>17222961
thanks F. Gardenbro

[Anonymous No.17223025]

>>17222961
Assuming you're not F. Gardner just tell me the twist in Crocodile.

[Anonymous No.17223033]

>>17223025
While I’m not a big fan of most of his work (other than arcade) I don’t think that would be fair. I doubt anyone wants their work spoiled.

[Anonymous No.17223137]

>>17223033
I'm not going to read it so just use a spoiler tag and tell us

[Anonymous No.17223156]

>>17223137
If you're not going to read it, why should I tell you?

[Anonymous No.17223158]

>>17223033
>>17223156
please stop shilling your books here. just buy ads like everyone else.

[Anonymous No.17223162]

>>17223137
You say that, sure. But I have a feeling if I say it it might make you wish I didn’t say it. Other people read spoiler tags, too. Often by mistake. I don’t want to feel bad for spoiling things. Sorry dude.

[Anonymous No.17223171]

>>17223158
Fuck off, schizo. One of the posted you quoted wasn’t even mine. See pic.

[Anonymous No.17223185]

>>17223025
buy my book and ill tell you

[Anonymous No.17223198]

>>17223171
the second anon responds like he's you, how does that make him a schizo?

[Anonymous No.17223211]

>>17223198
I'm assuming it's someone else who read it. I called him a schizo not just because of that but because he's accusing me of "shilling my books here." That I'm secretly F Gardener.
Does my post read like I'm shilling this series? I'm not praising it. I liked Arcade, but that's the most of a plug you'll get out of me.

[F. Gardner No.17223225]

>>17223025
Gardner here, I won't give it away, but I think you'll really enjoy the twist if you feel the same way about the Jews that I do.

[Anonymous No.17223306]

>>17223225
Lol you actually surprised me for a second there with that username. I thought you were really him for a moment.
That would honestly read a book series with racist twists.

[Anonymous No.17223309]

>>17223306
*i would

[Anonymous No.17223376]

[Anonymous No.17223382]

>>17222961
sup gardner

[Anonymous No.17223466]

>>17222961
> Call of the Arcade
> Surprise! This one is good. This is Gardener's best book.
I read this and I thought it was terrible. This is not a good sign for the rest of his books. Now I'm wondering if you're a shill

[Anonymous No.17223505]

>>17223033
Hello Gardner.

[Anonymous No.17223521]

>>17223171
>editing the html to pretend you aren't me
Who's really the schizo here?

[Anonymous No.17223524]

>>17223171
Liar, I back traced your pic and this is what I found

[Anonymous No.17223528]

>>17223524
Sir, I'll have you know that I, >>17223521, am me, not you.

[Anonymous No.17223579]

>>17222961
BAP.

[Anonymous No.17224817]

>>17222961
Fuck you op

[Anonymous No.17224876]

>>17223466
It's Gardner himself posting. Kinda pathetic.

[Anonymous No.17225203]

>>17223225
Your not him. Why do you guys keep impersonating him?

[Anonymous No.17225212]

>>17223466
>read this

Say something that proves this then. What was the ending?

[Anonymous No.17225249]

>>17224876
It’s that butterfly poster again. He’s been trying to ruin his rep.

[Anonymous No.17225284]

Cant you just say the twist here

[Anonymous No.17225308]

>>17224876

Considering he's mispelled "Gardner's name as "Gardener" and refers to the series as "The Call' instead of "Horror's Call" I highly doubt it. I don't even know if Gardner even posts here, anymore.

[Anonymous No.17225398]

>>17225308
the presence of errors could just mean he has something of a brain unlike most samefagging authors

[Anonymous No.17225409]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE TWIST IN CALL OF THE CROCODILE JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS FAGGOT GARDNER I NEED TO KNOW

[Anonymous No.17225455]

>>17225398
That some serious mental gymnastics. OP is clearly not Gardner. Misspelling his name numerous times and getting the name of his own series wrong?
>>17225409
This. Someone just say it already. Only reason the thread is still up is we want to know this part. Not giving Gardner any money for the books. I only want to know what this big twist is.

[Anonymous No.17225464]

>>17225455
Sadly, we’ll never know. Someone is likely going to post a fake twist like the guy larping as gardner

[Anonymous No.17225479]

>>17225464
>>17225455
>>17225409
NO ONE HAS EVER ACTUALLY READ THE BOOKS. THE MEME IS SHILLING IT WITHOUT READING IT. THE GREATEST PART IS THAT YOU CAN SHILL THEM IN ANY ORDER

[Anonymous No.17225484]

>>17225455
>That some serious mental gymnastics. OP is clearly not Gardner. Misspelling his name numerous times and getting the name of his own series wrong?
You're just easily tricked. I post on an imageboard with flags (not 4chan) where I maintain multiple personas just for fun, this guy actually has something to gain from it

[Anonymous No.17225533]

>>17225479
That’s the meme. But it seems Gardner somehow has some fans of his shitty books. There’s always going to be fans of any series. No matter how terrible.
>>17225484
If anything OP is >>17223225
The nutjob pretending to be him.

[Anonymous No.17225582]

>>17225479
>>17225484
Dude stop shilling this. No one is going to buy it.

[Anonymous No.17225608]

>>17225582
He actually has quite a few reviews on Amazon and Goodreads already.

[Anonymous No.17225644]

>>17225608
I’m sure you do, Gardner.

[Anonymous No.17225674]

>>17225644
Stop bumping your own thread, Fagner.

[Anonymous No.17225702]

>>17225674
>Holy shit dude. This is so desperate. No one wants to read your books.

[Anonymous No.17225738]

ironic that his best book has the worst cover

[Anonymous No.17225891]

>>17225702
t. Gardner

[Anonymous No.17225904]

>>17225455
>>17225464
>>17225479
>>17225484
>>17225533
>>17225582
>>17225608
>>17225644
>>17225702
>>17225738
>>17225891
same faggot

[Anonymous No.17225937]

>Gardner’s of the most famous posters on this site.
>But everyone who talks about him is actually just him.

Cope. Advertising works.

[Anonymous No.17225976]

Someone post the torrent already

[Anonymous No.17226168]

BAP

[Anonymous No.17226183]

/mu/tant here, I'm new to /lit/. Is this guy basically your DJ Dubbi? Could they be the same person?

[Anonymous No.17226196]

>>17226183
You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack

[Anonymous No.17226371]

The twist in Call of the Crocodile is that the Crocodile is the ticket taker guy in the Chuck-E-Cheese scene

[Anonymous No.17226395]

please stop this obvious shill garbage.

[Anonymous No.17226410]

>>17226371
OP here. No it’s not.

[Anonymous No.17226448]

>>17226371
Gardner here. You forgot to mention that that ticket taker guy is a Jew.

[Anonymous No.17226653]

[Anonymous No.17227666]

The twist is that the narrator is the crocodile

[F. Gardner No.17228352]

Is that.....a crocodile?!?!

AAAHH! I’m going in insane!!!!

[Anonymous No.17228390]

SOMEONE FUCKING TELL ME WHAT THE TWIST IS I NEED TO KNOW BEFORE I LEAVE THIS SHITTY THREAD AND THE REAL TWIST PLEASE F(AGGOT) GARDNER

[garden No.17228419]

Buy my books and take your meds you stupid faggots

[Anonymous No.17228423]

>>17228390
Two posts above yours, brainlet

[Anonymous No.17228429]

>>17227666
No the twist is you need to read the book to find out what the twist really is. The plus side is it doesn't matter what order you read the twists in.

[F. Gardner No.17228439]

nigger

[Anonymous No.17228471]

>>17222961
Sean Goonan v2.0

[Anonymous No.17228494]

>>17223162
>Other people read spoiler tags, too. Often by mistake
that is their own fault. many people like myself will spoil things for themselves to know if it's worth reading. if you really want to shill this book you should post the twist and ill consider buying it.

[Anonymous No.17228526]

>>17228494
>people like myself will spoil things for themselves to know if it's worth reading

That is fucking retarded. Ruining the twist ruins the experience.

[Anonymous No.17228628]

>>17228526
If a book needs a twist to be good, it's not worth reading

[Anonymous No.17228652]

I like the ad he bought where the entire ad is a picture of a 5 star Amazon review that just says "sneed"

[Anonymous No.17228658]

>>17228628
That has nothing to do with what I’m saying. Some twists are actually good and spoiling them takes away from the impact.

[Anonymous No.17228691]

>>17228658
Thank god I'll never read these books because they have hideous cover art and the writer puts ads on 4chan about them

[Anonymous No.17228812]

>>17228691
Filtered.

[Anonymous No.17228881]

>constantly references The Divine Comedy and Peter Pan

unfathomably BASED

[Anonymous No.17229205]

>>17228881
you guys are all making these books sound really interesting

[Anonymous No.17229260]

I guess I could do a “storytime” of the book like on /co.
Is that allowed?

[Anonymous No.17229278]

>>17229260
But which one would you start with?

[Anonymous No.17229324]

>>17229278
Probably Crocodile since everyone wants to know the twist.

[Anonymous No.17229524]

>"Tell me the twist."
>What? No I won't actually read the book."

I'm convinced most of /lit is filled with nothing but midwits. If the book was long then I would understand not wanting to commit. But it's super short. You guys are all normies who just pretend to read.

[Anonymous No.17229617]

>>17229524
Dude nobody wants to read your garbage fucking books.

[Anonymous No.17229627]

>>17223225
A fellow zionist?

[Anonymous No.17229637]

>>17229617
I'm not him retard

[Anonymous No.17229703]

Damn I really want to know the twist. I'm going to read it. This had better be good.

[Anonymous No.17231012]

BAP

[Anonymous No.17231030]

>>17229524
I don't want to spend 3 dollars

[Anonymous No.17231096]

>>17225308
You're the only one who gives a shit, gurgler