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/lit/ - Literature

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17125185 No.17125185[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

what's the best way to approach cafe reading chicks?

>> No.17125195

>>17125185
Leave them alone, they're just trying to enjoy a book on the go.

>> No.17125204

>>17125195
wrong. if people didn't want to be approached they would read at home

>> No.17125210

>>17125185
hollow out one of the booths and wait for a female to sit down
then start conversing with them from beneath the cushions

>> No.17125220

Tell her you have 7 figures in the bank and that you can take her traveling across the world as you watch try out exotic cock.

>> No.17125336

>>17125185
Make eye contact, smile. If they reciprocate, wait awhile. Do it again, ask her what she's reading.

>> No.17125367

>>17125185
Approach from her behind, lean in slightly, and take a real deep whiff, loud enough so she's sure to notice it.
Women love that.

>> No.17125372

>>17125204
Women*

>> No.17125528

>>17125185
>be me
>23
>check her book cover
>gotta be fiction
>read it before
>if not
>google it, check summary
>say hi
>jokingly spoil the ending for her

"And since your book is ruined now, allow me to join you."

I've done it many times, and hit it off right away. They get annoyed at first but think it's funny. And I'm way autistic to approach a girl and ask for her number, but at certain situations you get easily the upper hand.

Lately I started to see women as subhumans and are not worth of my time. I still spoil though, but I wait till I'm about to leave.

>> No.17125561

Walk past her and rip the loudest fart you can muster. This will alert her to your presence (and power) and give you the perfect excuse to talk to her through by apologizing

>> No.17125579

>sit in the middle of the cafe
>keep getting up and changing chairs
>cough loudly
>you now have their attention
>whoever maintains eye contact is the target
>approach and say-
>"sup. you reading books?"

>> No.17125586

don't ask, just rape

>> No.17125699

>>17125579
Imagine her saying:
"Yes I'm autistic too."

>> No.17125704

>>17125336
This.

Getting the eye contact is a tricky thing, but don’t be too forceful. Like the first poster said. They’re likely only reading and not looking. But simply getting the close to her may make her look up for a moment. Smile apologetically etc.

>> No.17125717

REMINDER!!!!

>DON'T ANSWER TRIPFAGS

>> No.17125726

>>17125704
you will never be a woman

>> No.17125751

>>17125726
My sex partners would disagree

>> No.17125760

>>17125185

Unzip your pants and place your weiner upon her bare shoulder

>> No.17125858

I normally go to play with awpreen on and they look at my like I work here and just ask "caneyegetaynthingforyoumaddam?" and just start talk like I don't really work here lol

>> No.17125936

>>17125185
You just walk up and say 'excuse me,' then tell her that she is just about the most prettiest thing you have ever seen and that you would do just about anything for a chance to share her company for an evening. More or less exactly the same as you would do if there was no book involved and really you should just ignore the book, make the date and then scram unless she invites you to sit down with her.

>>17125210
Ranpo is not a good source of dating advice.

>> No.17126235

>>17125936
Fucking insane LARP, at least I hope so.

>> No.17126270

>>17125751
post your feet

>> No.17126310
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17126310

>Didn't you see the sign? No women allowed, especially no women pretending to read! What? I AM the manager. Now get out!

>> No.17126311

>>17125185
Assertively plop your copy of In Search of Lost Time on the table as you would your big fat hard cock.

>> No.17126316

>>17125185
>Hey, watcha reading?

>> No.17126325

>>17125185
walk up, smack the book out of her hand, then explain in no uncertain terms exactly whom tongues your anus

>> No.17126349

>>17126316
Does this actually work?

>> No.17126357

>>17126316
>>17126349
>hey as the first word
Literally never works. Too passive.

>> No.17126368

>>17126349
If you're attractive yes, but then if you're attractive, you could smash her head down into the table and shoot her mother dead right there and then, and she would go "lmaooo :cryinglaughingemoji:" and give you her number

>> No.17126376

>>17126235
Why? Because I did not use some generic slick line and went with the awkwardness OP is likely to show on his first try?

>> No.17126377

>>17125185
Wait until they’re clearly taking a break or in-between chapters and ask about the book or simply leave them alone.

The reality is that most girls reading in public probably do want to be approached but some don’t. Some are seriously just reading in public.

>> No.17126388

>>17125704
Do you honestly believe any of us are capable of making eye contact and then delivering a non-awkward smile? I’m not and I have an actually had a girlfriend and am not even a virgin.

>> No.17126395

>>17125185
from behind.

>> No.17126403
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17126403

>>17126368
That's a lie. I'm attractive and women always get nervous when I talk to them so it's just awkward.

>> No.17126419

>>17126403
Are you leaving your National Socialist German Workers Party armband on? They don't like that until a few months in

>> No.17126431

>>17125185
You ask them for their order.

Aside from that you dont. They are there to be seen and not spoken to.

>> No.17126439

>>17126431
Shut up faggot. You think like a waiter and you'll die like a waiter, alone with aching feet.

>> No.17126539
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17126539

>>17125936

>> No.17126559

>>17125204
Do you want someone to talk to you when you're reading on the train or over lunch?

>> No.17126577

>>17126559
someone of the opposite sex? for sure.
trust me, women do stuff like read in public because they want to approached by a guy that reads. not all of them, but most of them. they wouldn't admit it but it's true

>> No.17126584

I honestly dont understand why someone would approach another person and try to talk to them when they're reading, I get if you have to for some specific reason but don't do it just because you want to meet them or talk to them.

>> No.17126596

>>17126584
How else are you going to meet them? Stalk them until they're not doing something?

>> No.17126606

just stare at them, unblinking, and when they look at you slowly stretch your mouth into the widest, biggest smile you can fit on your face because this shows them that you are happy they noticed you. this will show them that you are happy they are look at you. smile Really big and don't blink. if they leave, follow them but stay 20-30 foot behind. if they try go fast then follow fast. they cant run forever

>> No.17126613

>>17126596
yes, Stalk them. thats how I meet all my lil babys

>> No.17126615

>>17126584
there's a reason why they chose such a public place to set up and read my dude

>> No.17126704

>>17126615
Maybe they just want to get out of the house.

>> No.17126717

>>17126704
no shit

>> No.17126718

>>17125185
Only do this if you aren't awkward.
>catch her reading
>try to see the title and Google it
>ask her what she's reading
>Get next to her to "catch a glimpse"
>at this point you're close to her
>touch her hand
>say something like "wow your hands are cold femanon"
>you broke the physical barriers
>sit next to her and talk about personal stuff
>tall for at least 20 minutes, while at the same time getting agressively physical
>kiss her lips out of nowhere. she's too in the moment to back off.
>she is now in your spectrum.
>show her your world
She will be glad that you broke her boring routine. That doesn't mean you should waste her time with stupid dates. They also have a life. Just don't ditch her suddenly out of nowhere and stay in touch if she wants to. It's probably tricky to pull this off now because of covid, but there's ways around that.
Go get em champ.

>> No.17126739
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17126739

>>17126388
I never said it would be easy.

>> No.17126928

>>17126739
And I never said “”difficult”.

Also, don’t look at me like that.

>> No.17127015
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17127015

>>17125185
just walk up to them and upper cut their tits

>> No.17127074
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17127074

>>17125210

>> No.17127076

How do I get one of those joan of arc haircut bitches, those bitches get me SOLID

>> No.17127135

>>17125185
I don't think this is a good idea if you were me.

>> No.17127162

>>17126349
No, not at all.

>> No.17127203

>>17126349
Are you interested in her or the book? If you are interested in her just say so, get to the point so she can get back to her reading.

>> No.17127227

I read books in cafes and you don't want to date me or ask what I'm reading.
Some girls reading in cafes will want someone to talk to them, and you can tell which ones because they look like female pseuds (art hoes are a close approximation, but any kind of glasses when trying to be a bookish girl if they aren't necessary to reading is offensive to the female pseud reader). They will also probably be reading a book that is "smart" (/lit/ starter chart if not still in high school; anything male pseuds read) or "romantic" (okay it's always Austen and half of them probably think she was a romantic). The book has to be surface level well known for you to talk to her. If it's smart or romantic pseudery, she's begging you to talk to her and pretend she's a bookish virgin. If it's something with a specific following (Kafka, Lolita, DH Lawrence) she's telling you she's only dtf certain kinds of people, or she's reading it for a course. If she's reading DFW, you probably deserve her.
Do not approach women reading works you have never heard of before. If she happens to be reading some obscure middle English poetry or some Russian sounding author with a one word ambiguous title or some seeming no name author with a boring title, she probably likes reading more than you do. The only ones of these that are inviting male attention are doing it so they can shut you the fuck down for talking to someone who is reading. If having a cold conversation which implies you're too much of a fucking loser to understand why sermons in old English would be more interesting than talking to you is your fetish however, these are the best to bother. They'll look at you like you're scum.

>> No.17127228

>>17126577
Because I'm going to trust an incel on 4chan.

>> No.17127268

>>17127227
>They'll look at you like you're scum.
And that will make me cum.

>> No.17127278

>>17127268
Natural extension of the librarian fetish tbph

>> No.17127287

>>17125185
The following is THE guaranteed way to approach, and with great subtlety:

All of this is under the presumption that you're not a hideous golem.

>Always, ALWAYS bring book to cafe. It can be what you're currently reading or a safe classic such as something from Dostoevsky or Dickens (popular names will surely grab attention).
>Find your person of interest
>Walk close enough to her so she can see what book you have on you (make sure you are carrying the book in the arm that is closest to her)
>Read the menu and figure out what to do ... Don't be afraid to speak quietly to yourself like: "Hmm. What should I get this time?" Just loud enough so that she might hear you and look up and see your book
>If you notice her looking in your peripheral, turn to look at her SLOWLY.
>Give a small smile. She will likely reciprocate if you're in the least bit attractive (i.e. don't be fat and smelly)
>Go order whatever
>Sit down NEAR her and in a way that she can easily look towards you if she's interested
>If you exchange several glances, then you're good to go
>Walk up to her and ask if you can join her
>Discuss literature

The most important thing here is to trust your instincts. Your gut is pretty good at telling you if someone is interested in you or not. If you sense that she's not interested in you, then she probably isn't. Don't expect anything in a cafe. After all, she's there to have some coffee and read. However, she can always do that at home on her own. Part of her IS wanting to meet someone. Make it worth her while.

>> No.17127307
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17127307

>>17127287
>Don't be afraid to speak quietly to yourself like: "Hmm. What should I get this time?" Just loud enough so that she might hear you and look up and see your book

>> No.17127324

>>17125185
back in the old times my brother used to pick up chicks at book stores. he told me many stories of the book sluts he banged and what books they liked to read. this was in the early 2000's, idk if you can even get laid that way anymore.

>> No.17127423

>>17127307
Lol that part is cringe.
>>17127227
>so they can shut you the fuck down for talking to someone who is reading
Only if you're trying to debate, which is a BAD idea. Just ask her it sounds interesting, and get deep into it, but without letting it distract you from the main goal, which is to fuck her. If it works out, great, if not, then I would still feel proud of taking a challenge.

>> No.17127449

>>17125528
I would kill you if you did this near me. And no, it’s not because I care about the endings of books being spoiled, but because you’re a blight on this Earth.

>> No.17127450

just leave them alone jesus fuck

>> No.17127453

Men are disgusting filth. Read Solanas

>> No.17127458

Please don’t . They genuinely don’t want to be bothered . But Bar chicks will let you fuck, just wait like five months

>> No.17127468

>>17127449
You would keep your coward mouth shut and seethe.

>> No.17127470

>>17126349
Depends on the book she’s reading. Is it a /lit/ book? She may just be a fellow autist, so you have a shot. Normie YA? Forgedditaboutit; she doesn’t want to talk to you, she wants to talk to other girls her age who also read the same books, and you don’t want to talk to her.

>> No.17127491
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17127491

>>17126718

>> No.17127500
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17127500

very quietly

>> No.17127533

>>17127450
>>17127453
>>17127491
Post feet now

>> No.17127558

>>17125185
1. Be attractive
2. Dont be ugly
3. Be their type
4. Wait for them to stop reading and only approach them when they go get a cup of coffee etc. Do NOT stop them if they are headed toward a bathroom or to leave. Get behind them in line, and ask them what they think about the book or relate an opinion you have of the part of the book they are in.

This is your best approach. You havent interrupted them and you make it clear you noticed them and are aware of something about them in a non creepy way. If they seem to appreciate the attention then introduce yourself. If not, just extend a hand toward the line and nicely excuse yourself for interupting them and insist they resume waiting in line without you bothering them.

>> No.17127603

>>17127533
>touch her hand
>say something like "wow your hands are cold femanon"
Yes, I’m a femanon for frogposting at an autist. Ffs. Leave.

>> No.17127640
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17127640

>>17126606

>> No.17127646

>>17125185
Pull out my amazon credit card and tell her if she wants she can have a package delivered to her home in a few hours.

>> No.17127650

>>17126718
This is the most auistic thing I've ever read, holy shit. She would call the cops on you.

>> No.17127678
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17127678

This thread is proof nobody on /lit/ has ever had sex.

>> No.17127691

>>17127678
i have but it's been so long that my virginity has certainly grown back

>> No.17127727

>>17125751
>My sex partners
Confirmed for incel.

>> No.17127734

>>17125185
>I have an 8 inch dick, may I join you?

>> No.17127736

>>17125528
Guarantee you just imagine doing this and haven’t actually spoken to a woman since rona loooool

>> No.17127745
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17127745

>>17127646
Kek

>> No.17127784

>>17125185
Take one loud sip and say "OOH MAMA MIA THAT'S HOT!" Take loud sips while staring at her every once in a while until she notices you. That will get her attention.

>> No.17127809

>>17127734
That might work desu

>> No.17127830

>>17125185
I just flop out my 11” BBC and use her book to catch a drop of my high powered nigger baby batter pre cum. At the same time I lean over and whisper “I have AIDS”. Whenever I do this all the white males around us start compulsively fapping and cooming in their pants. If Jews do the same while taking pictures. Soon after I rape to death everything in sight including the coffee making equipment. What a time to be a nigger!

>> No.17127831

>>17127015
Lol underrated

>> No.17127836

>>17127736
why is "lmao XDD this guy's a total INCEL wowww suuuure buddy i bet your story about being made emperor and fucking 500,000 women is TOOOTALLY true, NOT!!!!!" such a common newfag tell

how new do you even have to be to not detect the joke, in a whole thread full of similar jokes

>> No.17127852

>>17125185
You need to be at your most constipated , the ensuing expressions (of flatulence retention) u make they'll find mysterious and inexplicably itrrestiblly endearing

>> No.17127859

>>17125185
From behind, with chloroform

>> No.17127914

>>17125528
>>17126310
kek
>>17126403
>Lidl shoes
nice apu

>> No.17127987

I wish I was not old and balding

>> No.17128155

>>17125185
Step 1. Be a Chad.
Step 2. Don't be ugly.

>> No.17128290

>>17128155
The only real answer.

>> No.17128330

>>17125185
Approach mechanism; use it.
Go up to her
"Excuse me, sorry to bother you but, what are you reading?"
Go from there. Be honest and earnest - if you've never heard of it, say that. Ask about it. When you find out it's feminist theory, seethe, and begin to cry, because she Is not the fictional submissive reading tradwife of your dreams, but instead a normal woman whom you are bothering.

>> No.17128504

>>17127228
Good job not being an incel lol. always glad to find people who haven't fallen victim to that shit.

>> No.17128512

>>17127468
You just sound like a dumbass, not intimidating at all. Wannabe anime villian.

>> No.17128524

>>17127678
Fuck, this is so true. People are so damn weird about women here.

>> No.17128534
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17128534

>>17127678
>>17128524
It's to ward off people who do exactly what you're doing now. They're called tourists. You don't belong, yet your only instinct as an outsider who doesn't even understand what's going on is to mock it and hope it conforms. You might have a better time if you start questioning why you don't belong. Maybe you're the problem.