/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.17025117]

Would you read all the Harry Potter books if you'd get to suck on her milkers as a reward?

[Anonymous No.17025123]

Yucky stale milk

[Anonymous No.17025158]

>>17025117
Sucking on these old milkers would probably be less dull than the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though

"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

[Anonymous No.17025191]

[Anonymous No.17025196]

Hell no!

[Anonymous No.17025197]

>>17025158
if this isn't pasta
well it is now.

[Anonymous No.17025302]

Someone post the incest pasta

[Anonymous No.17025356]

I've already read all the books

[Anonymous No.17025638]

>>17025117
Kys

[Anonymous No.17025777]

>>17025117
She’d need to go to at least third base for me to agree to read all of them, probably all the way because I can imagine getting really bored through the longer later books. I’d agree to read the first three books for a milker suck

[Anonymous No.17025789]

>>17025197
>PASTA

[Anonymous No.17025834]

>>17025158
audible kek, bravo

[Anonymous No.17025854]

>>17025117
ew no, I'd do it for $50 though

[Anonymous No.17025878]

Imagine sliding your cock between her boobs

[Anonymous No.17025888]

For a young man in the 21st century, J.K. Rowling embodies just about everything that he hates about his own mother, but can't outright say to her. An aging neoliberal single mother with an inflated sense of self-importance using twitter to cope with her increasing irrelevance. The sort of woman who hasn't seriously thought about any of her opinions, but feels the need to push them on to others and condescend to anybody who might think differently.

She is an archetype. Neither insightful nor funny nor controversial. She is a consummate mediocrity basking in the praise of similar mediocrities the world over who have projected their own aspirations on to her, satisfied that somebody like them is a billionaire. Her Christianity is an accessory. She takes everything that she's been taught by public school and daytime television and fashions a god out of it.

She conceives of public affairs in the nebulous terms of "love" and "hate". The fact that an action might fall outside of either of these two categories, or that something she deems "hateful" might in fact be the wiser choice has not occurred to her. Despite this, she is shockingly easy to bait into a bitter, spiteful rage. Furthermore, her generosity only extends as far as her personal comfort. At the end of the day, it's little more than virtue signalling and if social opinion undergoes some vast sweeping change then she'll fall in line.

In many ways, she's already missed the boat. Her brand of comfortable feminism has already fallen out of style. She just doesn't know it yet. The second wave man-hating sexual phobia that sees rape everywhere. Its frigidity is evident in her writing. Then the bizarre merger with proud slut queer positivity. The post-hoc declarations of characters' sexual proclivities. The rationalization of racial retconning. It's like she discovered a Harry Potter fan tumblr, followed a couple links, and incorporated whatever she saw, resulting in an incoherent schizophrenic worldview. That's probably exactly what happened.

Her name is fucking Joanne. Need I say more?

[Anonymous No.17025893]

>>17025888
And one more thing. She has a surprisingly nice pair of tits that I'd really like to suck on.

She looks a lot like my own mother, but with nicer hair and way nicer tits. In fact, she's basically a more attractive version of my mother, which is great since the only thing that really held me back from fantasizing about my own mother is that she just wasn't good looking enough.

Rowling really seems like the kind of woman who'd suck her teenage son's dick. I mean it.

She gets back from le ebin GIRLS NIGHT OUT XD!!! Plastered out of her mind from sipping too much shiraz or perhaps pinot grigio. Maybe she and THE GIRLS even passed around a blunt at Samantha's house. I always find it funny when Gen X women think they're being SO BAD smoking weed. Mouth full of the most expensive cheese available at Tesco and whatever crackers Georgia had to get rid of. She's cackling with laughter and sobbing as she lurches in through the front door. She has zero self-awareness when it comes to her emotions, but defends them with religious fervor.

Clumsily, she makes her way toward the living room where her son is playing video games. She sits down on his lap, suffocating him with her embrace and exhaling the stinking fumes of cheap wine right into his face. For a couple minutes, she rants about what a BITCH Leslie at the office is, before muttering the he's the only on who understands her. Briefly, she looks into his eyes, trembling all over. Then she locks her mouth with his and begins to kiss him passionately. At first he is paralyzed, but his mom is kind of hot and he'll probably never have another chance like this. He's thought about it before. He kisses back and before long she's between his legs, pawing at his penis like the cats she collects. She takes it in her mouth and sucks it like she's back in college. She's STILL GOT IT.

The next morning, she pretends not to remember anything, but blames him for the incident, finding subtle ways to punish him.

[Anonymous No.17025897]

>>17025117
I have already read them as a child. Now give me my reward mother.

[Anonymous No.17025914]

>>17025893
>the only thing that really held me back from fantasizing about my own mother is that she just wasn't good looking enough.
Based

[Anonymous No.17026624]

>>17025638
Sneed faggoliny

[Anonymous No.17026710]

MILKY, MILKY, WARM AND TASTY!
MOMMY! MILKY! PLEASE BE HASTY!
REFRESHING DRINK FROM MOMMY'S UDDERS!
I WANT MOMMY'S AND NO OTHER'S!
GIVE IT! GIVE IT! GIVE IT NOW!
GIVE ME MILKY, LAZY SOW!
UNTIL YOU DO I'LL SCREAM I'LL SHOUT!
I'M CRY I'LL WHINE AND STOMP ABOUT!
UNTIL MY BELLY IS FULL AND HAPPY!
I REFUSE TO TAKE A NAPPY!

[Anonymous No.17027234]

pretty sweet milf really. just imagine dumping loads in her and spending her money jetsetting to all the best cities on the globe. then when society collapses you have a pass into the underground billionare cities that will continue on. fuck i gotta find a way to bump into rowling and impress her...

[Anonymous No.17027489]

>>17027234
>impress her
Tell me more about your plans to impress her.

[Anonymous No.17027506]

God no

[Anonymous No.17027545]

reading the Harry Potter books is its own reward
JK Rowling looks like a Fox News talking head

[Anonymous No.17027559]

>>17025117
just look at those protruding nips begging to be teased

[Anonymous No.17027609]

yea i would. i don't mean to suggest that i find her attractive or that i have an uncontrollable libido. it'd do it because she's famous--no other reason, t.bh. i guess i'm just a whore for fame

i'm not ashamed of this

[Anonymous No.17027664]

>>17025117
It tells a lot that /lit/ is still one of the best boards.

[Anonymous No.17027897]

Yes i would spill gallons of cum inside her milf pussy

[Anonymous No.17027971]

Yeah probably

[Anonymous No.17027976]

>>17025158
>"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
>I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
Bloom has already been exposed for this. That phrase isn't used that often at all. I doubt he even read the book. I'm surprised by how often he lies for someone so established desu, especially with something like this which can easily be checked. It's hard to disprove his autistic savant tier reading speed and eidetic memory claim but this is a retarded lie even for him.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oI3er5KKetj No.17028003]

>>17025117
Naw. One book for the whole thing perhaps.

>>17027609
Sort of like climbing a mountain. Nice little notch on the bedpost, hm?

[Anonymous No.17028012]

>>17025888
My mother is an animal-loving racist who uses Facebook and not Twitter, and I love her very much, thank you.

[Anonymous No.17028067]

>>17025117
For a young man in the 21st century, J.K. Rowling embodies just about everything that he hates about his own mother, but can't outright say to her. An aging neoliberal single mother with an inflated sense of self-importance using twitter to cope with her increasing irrelevance. The sort of woman who hasn't seriously thought about any of her opinions, but feels the need to push them on to others and condescend to anybody who might think differently.

She is an archetype. Neither insightful nor funny nor controversial. She is a consummate mediocrity basking in the praise of similar mediocrities the world over who have projected their own aspirations on to her, satisfied that somebody like them is a billionaire. Her Christianity is an accessory. She takes everything that she's been taught by public school and daytime television and fashions a god out of it.

She conceives of public affairs in the nebulous terms of "love" and "hate". The fact that an action might fall outside of either of these two categories, or that something she deems "hateful" might in fact be the wiser choice has not occurred to her. Despite this, she is shockingly easy to bait into a bitter, spiteful rage. Furthermore, her generosity only extends as far as her personal comfort. At the end of the day, it's little more than virtue signalling and if social opinion undergoes some vast sweeping change then she'll fall in line.

In many ways, she's already missed the boat. Her brand of comfortable feminism has already fallen out of style. She just doesn't know it yet. The second wave man-hating sexual phobia that sees rape everywhere. Its frigidity is evident in her writing. Then the bizarre merger with proud slut queer positivity. The post-hoc declarations of characters' sexual proclivities. The rationalization of racial retconning. It's like she discovered a Harry Potter fan tumblr, followed a couple links, and incorporated whatever she saw, resulting in an incoherent schizophrenic worldview. That's probably exactly what happened.

Her name is fucking Joanne. Need I say more?


And one more thing. She has a surprisingly nice pair of tits that I'd really like to suck on.

[Anonymous No.17028077]

>>17028067

She looks a lot like my own mother, but with nicer hair and way nicer tits. In fact, she's basically a more attractive version of my mother, which is great since the only thing that really held me back from fantasizing about my own mother is that she just wasn't good looking enough.

Rowling really seems like the kind of woman who'd suck her teenage son's dick. I mean it.

She gets back from le ebin GIRLS NIGHT OUT XD!!! Plastered out of her mind from sipping too much shiraz or perhaps pinot grigio. Maybe she and THE GIRLS even passed around a blunt at Samantha's house. I always find it funny when Gen X women think they're being SO BAD smoking weed. Mouth full of the most expensive cheese available at Tesco and whatever crackers Georgia had to get rid of. She's cackling with laughter and sobbing as she lurches in through the front door. She has zero self-awareness when it comes to her emotions, but defends them with religious fervor.

Clumsily, she makes her way toward the living room where her son is playing video games. She sits down on his lap, suffocating him with her embrace and exhaling the stinking fumes of cheap wine right into his face. For a couple minutes, she rants about what a BITCH Leslie at the office is, before muttering the he's the only on who understands her. Briefly, she looks into his eyes, trembling all over. Then she locks her mouth with his and begins to kiss him passionately. At first he is paralyzed, but his mom is kind of hot and he'll probably never have another chance like this. He's thought about it before. He kisses back and before long she's between his legs, pawing at his penis like the cats she collects. She takes it in her mouth and sucks it like she's back in college. She's STILL GOT IT.

The next morning, she pretends not to remember anything, but blames him for the incident, finding subtle ways to punish him.

[Anonymous No.17028081]

>>17025158
classic

[Anonymous No.17028108]

>>17025117
i'd stretch her titties into my mouth if you catch my drift

[Anonymous No.17028123]

>>17025117
I'd make her wear a latex gimpsuit in a sauna beforehand then suck on her sweaty milkers.

[Anonymous No.17028148]

>>17025117
I'd wrap my vermilion lips around her chocolate nipples and slowly extract the elixir of the gods out of those fountains made of flesh.

[Anonymous No.17028160]

I’ve already read them. Get those doggies out, JK, woof woof!!!!

[Anonymous No.17028167]

>>17025117
I need to deepnude this pic

[Anonymous No.17028175]

Ann Coulter lookin ass bitch
only thing coming out of those "milkers" is dust

[Anonymous No.17028209]

>>17028148
Cormac McCarthy would never use chocolate as a color. Try mahogany, sienna or ochre.

[Anonymous No.17028238]

Mommy milkies

[Anonymous No.17028246]

>>17028238
fake

[Anonymous No.17028265]

>>17028246
No shit

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oI3er5KKetj No.17028266]

>>17028238

[Anonymous No.17028286]

I just came here from the 4channel home page, is this a literature board?

[Anonymous No.17028319]

>>17028286
Yes but like all other hobby boards, no one actually engages in said hobby.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oI3er5KKetj No.17028320]

>>17028286
Should be, but a lot of pseuds are trying to take it over and make it a poltard colony

[Anonymous No.17028332]

>>17028286
Yes. We discuss burger politics and the refinement of YA. Enjoy your stay.

[Anonymous No.17028374]

>>17028320
why the long face?

[Anonymous No.17028474]

>>17028320
way too old to be taking pretentious selfies in front of bookshelves

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oI3er5KKetj No.17028493]

>>17028374
Cute Polish girl
>>17028474
She has nice fashion sense

[Anonymous No.17028521]

>>17028493
Aren't you a burger? Why do you type like an ESL?

[Anonymous No.17028524]

>>17028493
Eww. She's cute in the first one but in this one she looks like a chicano dyke.

[Anonymous No.17028534]

>>17026710
He said, calmly

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oI3er5KKetj No.17028654]

>>17028524
>Chicano

>>17028521
Where? What?

[Anonymous No.17028675]

>>17027545
Surprisingly based

[Anonymous No.17028691]

>>17028286
Not really, we mostly discuss politics and the lives of writers.

[Anonymous No.17028875]

>>17028493
bruh, she dresses like me, except i literally have my dads hand me downs

[Anonymous No.17028937]

>>17027234
All the underground cities are in new zealand and russia. I want to camp out there after the collapse and shit in all their air shafts so they can smell my processed lunch of bugs and bark as the cancer sets in from the radiated niggers glowing around everywhere raping white and asian women

[Anonymous No.17029122]

>>17025117
Went and finished all the HP books. I'm not sure if it's a rose-tinted glasses type of thing with HP because these books were releasing when I was still in school. Some parts of the story were annyoing and completely retarded but I like the world of HP more than the story itself to be perfectly honest. As far as JK herself she's a dumb whore. Everything retarded she has said over the years in any form be it interviews or twitter has made me completely hate her. HP was fun in parts but overall it's shite.