/wg/ - Writing General:

[Anonymous No.16810449]

Writing Prompt Rhinoceros Edition

previous: >>16788147

For Prose:
>The Art of Fiction
>On Becoming A Novelist
>Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft
>How Fiction Works
>The Rhetoric of Fiction
>Steering the Craft

For Poetry:
>The Poetry Home Repair Manual
>Western Wind: An Introduction to Poetry

Related Material:
>What Editors Do
>A Student's Introduction to English Grammar
>Garner's Modern English Usage

Suggested books on storytelling:
>The Weekend Novelist
>Aristotle's Poetics
>Hero With a Thousand Faces
>Romance the Beat

Suggested books on getting your fucking work done you lazy piece of shit:
>Deep Work
>Atomic Habits

Other Resources
>General grammar/syntax/editing help
https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/purdue_owl.html
> When/where/how should I write?
https://jamesclear.com/daily-routines-writers
> What software should I write with?
https://self-publishingschool.com/book-writing-software-best/
> Amazon Publishing to make that KDP monie
https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/G200635650
> Be like Charles Dickens and write serially
https://www.royalroad.com/
> Basic overview of the Screenplay format
https://screenwriting.info/

[Anonymous No.16810484]

>>16810449
Alright anons, I'm back again and ready to critique. If you want dialogue check-ups, end-notes, line edits, rewrites, or narrative advice I'll be here.

If want feedback but have nothing for review then take the time to practice your writing with this prompt from a thread or two ago.

A big game hunter is wrapping up a tour in Africa. The hunter comes across an endangered white rhino, possibly the last wild one the world. The hunter discovers that (a) poacher/s are in the area. The hunter decides to protect the rhino. Write a short story from 500-5000 words (or more if you want) about this event.

Bonus goals:
1. Write the story in the style of Hemingway. Study his writing style and short stories and translate that into your own work.
2. Make the white rhino a symbol in the same vein as Moby Dick. It can be anything, but present this without directly telling the reader what the symbol means.
3. Humanize the poacher/s. Though it is easy to hate, it is harder to sympathize. Consider John Gardner's (who's books on writing are in the OP) critique of Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath , "Witness Steinbeck's failure in The Grapes of Wrath. It should have been one of America's great books...[S]teinbeck wrote not a great and firm novel but a disappointing melodrama in which complex good is pitted against unmitigated, unbelievable evil." (You don't have to agree with Gardner, but the critique is relevant to our purpose)
4. Make this story, which easily fits the archetype of drama, thriller, or action, a comedy, satire, or romance tale (please don't romance the rhino, unless you really want to, this one is for you to practice romcom anon)
5. Have a segment of the story, a prologue or even an epilogue that is written from a perspective that does not belong to the hunter. In The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber by Hemingway, Ernest briefly takes the perspective of the lion being hunted, try to do something similar with any of the characters you create.
6. Play with the time period and the framing. This idea was originally a shift in perspective of a sci-fi story about the preservation of the life of a sentient virus by a doctor brought into a quarantine environment. I retooled the narrative when I found that people couldn't show sympathy for a sci-fi virus to something that people easily express sympathy for. Take this prompt and turn it into a similar story from the future or past. A cave man finds the last dinosaur, an alien finds the last human, a true A.I is accidentally created and the scientist responsible attempts to save it from destruction. Be creative.

Don't forget to have fun while you write anons, and good luck.

[Anonymous No.16810522]

>>16810484
is this where i get feedback on my screenplay? or should i go to reddit for that?

[Anonymous No.16810529]

>tfw all new books in your language are shit
>tfw you could be considered a really good writer in your country
mfw I am shit but they don't know better so I'm going to get published again anyway

[Anonymous No.16810532]

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08KQCTHTD?ref_=dbs_dp_wim_sb_tkin&binding=kindle_edition

Here's my work. Thanks for all the feedback so far, you guys.

[Anonymous No.16810538]

>>16810522
You can go to reddit too if you want anon, but if you're willing to post your screenplay or at least an excerpt of it I'll take a look.

[Anonymous No.16810539]

I lied anons, I haven't been able to write the past week. Life is pain.

[Anonymous No.16810568]

What are some rookie mistakes you believe every novice should be aware of?

[Anonymous No.16810601]

>>16810539
The way to do it is to just sit down and start writing, just spewing words thinking that editing will fix it. If you don't care about the quality of your first draft and realize that editing is half, if not more of the process than writing itself you'll start feeling less pressure. I get the impression that a lot of people believe that they need to create a masterpiece from scratch or else they are not cut out for writing. That is bullshit; don't fall for it. Great authors worked very hard on their projects and went through several drafts. You need to enjoy the process without caring for the end result until you get to the end result.

[Anonymous No.16810617]

>>16810522
Honestly, it depends what kind of feedback you're looking for.

[Anonymous No.16810635]

>tfw you want to share your novel with other anons to get their insight but it isn't in English

[Anonymous No.16810653]

>>16810539
Grab and notebook and just write in that, if you can’t be bothered to type them up. Getting your thoughts down at all is sometimes all you need.

[Anonymous No.16810689]

>>16810532
Learn how to use a comma.

[Anonymous No.16810732]

https://pastebin.com/i4JNKs6J

Short story, ~2500 words

[Anonymous No.16810951]

>>16810732
Didn't care for it, I could expand on that if you want. You should keep at it though, I could see a few edits on this story making it much better

[Anonymous No.16810967]

>>16810449
Wrote this as a personal statement while applying to uni. Would appreciate feedback, especially on the ending; having a hard time dramatizing it.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1I21S-nEIC-qQlEgjPCEu0E8V_hums17cIj2hAHRoRsc/edit?usp=sharing

This is the prompt:
Required (250-650 words): At the XXXXX, no two students are alike. We value difference and support equity and inclusion of all students and their many intersecting identities. Pick one of your unique identities and describe its significance.

>inb4 nigger

[Anonymous No.16811136]

Does real world 'lore' in fantasy work, or should I change it to fit the world?

I have a horse character who is a complete prick. Bites, and bucks constantly.
It feels 'not within the world' to suggest he be melted down for glue, so should I change it?
Soap could work, right?

[Anonymous No.16811146]

>>16810732
Alright anon, I've had a look. I think the story has several problems, but that is the entire point of revision.

The first issue I'm going to talk about is the narrative itself. My main focus is on the conclusion, but that becomes indicative of the work as a whole. The problem with the end of the story is that nothing has really changed. Max walks away from Gav in the garage with as little care for him as he started out with. He spends the whole story looking down on Gav and the final conclusion is just more of the same. I think you realize this as well, subconsciously or not, because Max is constantly wondering why he is hanging out with Gav. He has no reason to. To give this story the feeling of movement Max should change his opinion of Gav through a characterizing action. For example, Gav takes the blame for Max at the end of the story because he knows Max can make something of himself. The alternative is that Max comes to realize that his feelings towards Gav's more unsavory activities are well-founded as a scummy fair-weather friend leaves him in the lurch, dashing his chances to attend Dartmouth and decimating his already tenuous family relations. This is the major problem with the narrative.
The problem with the plot (the plot hole) is that they are out looking for beer when Max's dad is "drunk asleep" which means that there is likely beer in the house. Gav no doubt also has some kind of connection due to his partying. The idea that they are breaking and entering to get drunk is a bit too much on the suspension of disbelief, even for dumb high school students (especially so for Max who is moving up). At this point you could ratchet up the crime to crank the tension and stakes. Maybe Max needs money for college but his parents refuse to pay so he got together with his old criminally inclined friend to rob the neighborhood to get the money. Maybe he plans to let Gav take the fall if it goes wrong and the reason he is reuniting with him is only to use him. It's up to you, but something should be done. A good starting question for a story like this is "Why is this the one day/time in this character's life that I will commit to the page?" The answer is always because it changes them or their surroundings. In Eveline by Joyce a girl must make the choice between radically altering her life by eloping with a sailor or staying home and dooming herself to her mother's fate. That choice will forever change her regardless of what she does.

1/2

[Anonymous No.16811202]

Started my draft off with a suicide, kind of don't like that idea anymore.

Should i try to salvage it? The story can begin without it i think, I'll just be down my prologue.

[Anonymous No.16811250]

>>16810732
>>16811146
2/2

Next is the actual writing. There are a lot of weaker constructions and sentences that don't carry any narrative weight. This is often because you are 'telling' instead of 'showing'. Here is an example, "'How the fuck did we forget to bring a flashlight?' Gav said, laughing through panted breath. We were running through the streets of suburbia, having no clear destination other than away." The character expresses confusion at the lack of a plot device which will not be used in their next scene and then there is an explanation to the reader that the character's are not running towards any reasonable goal, though we will later be informed that the golf course is their 'safe space'. There is also awkward language and phrasing, "laughing through panted breath" is the worst of it but, "having no clear destination other than away" is not great either. Suburbia should be a concrete term, give them an actual location for the reader to hang on or don't mention it. A reasonable solution would be to cut the whole paragraph and nix the idea of the flashlight as a way to broach Max's family drama, which doesn't come into play later in the story anyway (you don't want loose ends).
If I had to rewrite it in a stronger fashion it would look something like this, "'We forgot flashlights,' Gav said. We had just turned right on 33rd and come into the Bolton Water's Golf Course on St. Anne's Place, which was always empty weeknights." This lets the reader know that the character's are locals. Maybe Max, who lives in the neighborhood is forced to lead Gav around, maybe this detail could come back later in the story? It gives you options at least. It also lets you know that Max is dubious enough and smart enough to scope out a retreat after criminal activity, or maybe Gav, who is more duplicitous tells him to find a place before the big day. Either way this characterizes the setting and the people while giving the reader information that can remain constant throughout the narrative.

I hope you don't feel like I'm trying to bash you over the head with this, it's just a part of revision. I hope you can move forward with these things in mind and get the best story you can out of your idea. Thank you for the contribution to the thread anon, and good luck with your writing. If you have any more questions or want me to look at something specific let me know and I'll give it a go.

[Anonymous No.16811271]

>>16811136
Why not suggest he be butchered for his meat and hide anon? Though you should try to think about the cost of a horse, even a mean one, in the past. Would you take your only car to the scrap yard because it needs a jump or an oil change? The glue or soap wouldn't replace the cost of a lost horse, monetarily or in terms of transport, combat, and companionship.

[Anonymous No.16811300]

>>16811271
It's more of a threat.
The horse is a cunt, and won't let anyone ride him, so the threat is that he should be melted down for glue, because glue is more useful.

Meat and hide could work though. Will have to look into it more.
Thanks, anon.

[Anonymous No.16811351]

>>16810635
What language are you using, bro?
I know Polish and German

[Anonymous No.16811355]

>>16811146
>>16811250
Thank you so much anon, this was truly a big help. You're right, Max doesn't really change, and I need to rewrite the ending to fix that (I like your suggestion with Gav taking the heat for him). As far as the writing goes, I definitely agree that some places could use more specificity --- this is something I've recently been experimenting with more, so it's great that you pointed it out. On the other end of things, what worked for you in the story? What was good to you? I think hearing some of your thoughts on that would help inform what sort of direction I want to go with it/spend more time on, with other pieces as well.

[Anonymous No.16811358]

whispering willows where there thou shalt way they go?

[Anonymous No.16811374]

>>16810449
This is a part of a prologue that I wrote. I would love to know your opinions. Thanks!

I begin to open my eyes to the dull noise of the distant echoes of my own existence wrapped in a forgotten night. The water in my refuge vibrates in unison with my heartbeat drowned out by the roar of a distant drum. My body surrounded by thick warm moisture levitates in this interior. I look without seeing, I move without touching, trapped in the safety of without knowing without abandoning being. I am a slave to peace, I am dominated by tranquility, dominated by the love of unconditional essentiality. The infinity of the whole does not overwhelm me, nor the abyss of this nothing scares me. And by realizing it, by giving it a word, by possessing the truth without depending on its presence, I free myself from this reality.
A light is invoked over the center of my head that penetrates the impervious darkness of my enclosure, dragging me towards its source. Its intensity blinds more than the nonexistence of my consciousness, forcing me to cover my sight. The much intimidates me, the little intimidates me. The answers are replaced by unknowns, and my tongue learns by itself to ask questions.
Two stars shine blue, pointing the way. I crawl through an undergrowth of meat, looking for my way out. I smell the autumn leaves at the end of the journey, and a hand grabs mine. ‘’ It's a boy ’’ They sing from above. I cry in a daze, panic and cold and desolate. Everything terrifies me, nothing consoles me, until I feel his embrace; takes me in after being banished.
His eyes were the stars in the sky that I always tried to climb. The orange of her hair cleanses my skin, envelops my body, marking the coming of spring life. I am a spectator of my birth, being my preconceived word to my emergence. I understand, but I do not understand, I hear, but I do not listen, I detail, but I do not see. His youthful smile is the only aspect that seems genuine in this contrived dream. My will deaf and numb by an overstimulated sensorium comparable to that of an infantile puppy raises my arms and takes out of my mouth an unintelligible and premature sound. She responds by bringing my body closer to hers, brushing her face with mine, reaffirming the security of my newborn being. Happiness is a contrasting rush, a fading flash in its own intensity, and in its present durability, I am subdued. I am contained in emotion, still with my reason seeking to escape. No concept is an anchor that gives weight to my existence, so I look for a rope that leads me to knowledge.

[Anonymous No.16811404]

>>16810689
Commas are a meme.

[Anonymous No.16811411]

I was tired of it. Tired of the women from the city. Tired of being used by them for two hours of fellatio and violent intercourse that left us bruised. I laced my boots and ignored the woman's fingers trailing over my back. This wasn't who I was.
"When will you be back?"
"I won't be."
The woman sat up, I didn't even know her name and that little fact saddened me more than it should have. She was beautiful, she would have been beautiful if I hadn't known her.
"Where are you going?"
"Home."
"Take me with you."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
I stood up and the worn down soles of my boots tamped soft on the carpets, just the barest impression of a noise that I thought more than I heard.
"My father is sick."
"Oh no."
"I have to watch the store for him."
"Where does he work?"
Where did he work. Where had I spent my childhood crouched behind the counter watching the old man deal with customers, his hands splayed over the counter. I had never seen hands like that, thick and scarred and clumsy from a lifetime of work. I hadn't been home for years. God had it really been that long.
"Sneed's feed and Seed."
"What?"
I turned back to look at the woman naked on satin sheets, at the softness of her skin and the waves of hair falling down on sun-freckled shoulders. At the little pouty jut of full lips and a body that had never seen hurt until she found me. I hated her.
"Formerly Chuck's."

[Anonymous No.16811424]

>>16811146
great feedback very thoughtful

>>16811355
as just a random anon that read your story I definitely felt like that Max was kind of an asshole for no reason and you could either lean into that and make it clear that Gav is actually a much better person than Max which causes him to have the change of heart by the end. Alternatively maybe give him a reason to hate Gav secretly, something maybe Gav doesn't know that Max knows. For example, Gav hooked up with Max's big crush, but in the end he realizes that Gav is a good guy, or Max leaves Gav hanging as revenge then Gav could realize he was wrong and apologize. If you want to get dark with it, maybe Max leads Gav to the house purposefully knowing the old man is paranoid and sits around his property with a shotgun at the ready.

[Anonymous No.16811465]

>>16811411
SNEED

[Anonymous No.16811538]

>>16811355

I like "last night for the rest of our lives" archetype for stories, so that was something that worked for me. Another strong point was the inclusion of only two characters. There are lots of short stories in workshop that suffer from character bloat, so I was glad to see the focus remain on Gav and Max.

As you move forward I think you should put a greater focus on dialogue and concrete action. So much of this story was Max telling the audience about the relationship and the best moment in the story is not when Max thinks, "I had no idea what to say to that" but the point at which Gav says, "You’re my best friend, Max. Doing all these great things in life. I’m going to miss you so much.” The reason it is the best moment is because it is
1. actionable: a character is engaging in action/conflict (dialogue) to achieve a goal.
2. characterizing: it tells us something about Gav we didn't know and reveals his internal character
3. unexpected: Max has spent the story explaining how Gav is someone he despises and condescends to and know Gav is admitting a terrible weakness and regret at the end of their relationship.
To that end you should include more 'showing' like this. Hence my example of the conclusive ultimatum in which Gav or Max betray or sacrifice something to expose their character.

Another example of what I mean comes from the paragraph about Debbie Walker, Gav's ex-girlfriend. Instead of having Gav point and then relying on Max's narration for where they are, who Debbie is, and how it affected Gav let Gav reveal this through action and dialogue (which is also action). For example, maybe he hates her for how she treated him and is happy to rob her and damage her property. Maybe Max thinks that is what Gav would want and suggests it only to be rebuked, foreshadowing Gav's unbeknownst moral character that will come into focus at the conclusion. Maybe Max's suggestion to do so because of Gav's bad break up, which Gav might not realize Max noticed, shows a stronger bond than the reader has hitherto thought and helps push Gav to value Max's protective friendship even more. Lots of options all over the place.

Happy writing anon, keep it up.

[Anonymous No.16811802]

>>16811538
Brilliant, thanks so much again anon, got a lot of ideas about what to do in revision now. Out of curiosity, how long have you been writing/have you been published? You seem to have a very good idea of what you're talking about. Reminds me of some of the CRWR prof's I had

[Anonymous No.16811837]

>>16811424
Thank you for this, very helpful as well

[Anonymous No.16811869]

>>16811411
More?

[Anonymous No.16812010]

>>16810532
How many words is each story?
How many paid sales have you gotten?
How many free downloads?

[Anonymous No.16812018]

>>16811802
I have been thinking about writing and teaching seriously for the last three years. I have been published. Thank you again. I'm currently a graduate student but plan on becoming a creative writing professor. During active semesters (like this one) I have very little motivation to write, so I come here to help people with critique.

I won't be attending next semester so I'll be spending more time writing, reading, and possibly submitting. During that period I'd like to help by creating a more involved writers' group/workshop general here. It would be nice to help anons over a set period of time (like an average semester) write, revise, and eventually submit something for publication, if they feel the work has developed enough. It would be easier to use throwaway emails and interact through Google Docs or Word submissions so I can provide inline citations, deletions, and formatting feedback as well as rewrites and end-note style analysis. I don't know if anyone will be up for it but I thought it might be nice to have a like minded group of writers or, failing that, to offer college level instruction to beginning writers for free. In the meantime I'll settle for the rhinoceros prompt. Later this week I'll probably change it out for a new one.

[Anonymous No.16812073]

>>16812010
Judging from the sales rankings and pricing I think he's made like $30 from all 5 added together.

[Anonymous No.16812092]

>>16812018
Cheers, I'm guessing you're in an MFA program then? I'm actually looking to apply for
a few next month. And I think that group idea is a great one, we could use GroupMe or something. I think it'd be nice to have a group of writers in one place outside of /lit/

[Anonymous No.16812111]

I'm halfway through my first short novel and it includes about 7 characters in close proximity (a space station above Mars)
I'm having a lot of trouble keeping track of what they are all doing at a given time and trying to make sure there aren't characters that are simply forgotten or pointless the further it goes on. I'm noticing that I focus too much on 2-3 characters a majority of the time. Tips?

[Anonymous No.16812128]

>>16812010
>>16812073
Sales ranking change, overtime. For a couple of hours I actually managed to get 1 in “Horror Suspense” for Call of the Kappa.
Anyway, the word counts are as follows
>Call of the Crocodile - 51k words
>Call of the Kappa - 40k words
>Call of the Arcade - 43k words
>Call of the Cherokee 50k words
>Call of the Cradle 47k words

I’ve had a little under 5 thousand downloads. Mostly from free downloads, and from when I lowered the price. I got a little under 100 sales on Halloween. That was my best day.

[Anonymous No.16812146]

>>16812128
Strangely enough a lot of the Halloween sales are when I raised the prices to see what would happen. I might try that again, since they’ve been lowered for about a week.

[Anonymous No.16812203]

>>16812111
why are they in the story if they aren't important?

[Anonymous No.16812205]

>>16812111
>I'm noticing that I focus too much on 2-3 characters a majority of the time
If your problem is you simply aren't having the other characters doing anything, either drop 1 or 2, or write about the others later.
If your problem is that having dialogue scenes with a bunch of different characters in close proximity means that you necessarily have to leave some in the background, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

[Anonymous No.16812225]

>>16812092
I'm in an MA program and it's pretty miserable currently. I would probably try to anchor the group here and handle the practice, work, and submissions through another program that makes the critique more convenient for all parties.

>>16812111
The first option is that you reevaluate the need for each character. If you only care about 2-3 of them that might indicate how readers will feel about them. See if there are any you can merge together or cut out.
The next option is to keep a paper next to you and write what a character is doing when you leave them. For example, you leave a chapter about Terry and he is off to do external maintenance in space so you write that down. Do this for everyone and you will have a list of character locations, actions, and motivations to balance while you write and can tag in characters as you move one through a space another character may happen to see them. So when Isaac goes to a window he notes that Terry is out doing maintenance, right where you left him. You can also use this to move characters in the background, like an out of focus actor moving around the frame while a distracted character talks. Because you have shown that competency to the reader, the next time a character looks out the window and doesn't see Terry they will know that something happened without being told. Try to gamify your issues when possible, then you might enjoy solving them.

[Anonymous No.16812519]

>>16812203
to fill a quota. different countries own the space station so I figured there should be an even number of representatives for each living there. Even then I put 4 characters somewhere else entirely because I couldn't keep track of 12 people. May have to reduce the number again.
>>16812205
Each character is (supposed to be) tightly knit with each other since they all live in one big area floating in space. I keep thinking I should be giving them screen time which messes me up.
>>16812225
I'll try this, thanks.

[Anonymous No.16813026]

I'm gonna write a harem. What kind of woman do you lot want to see fawning over the self-inserted in a power fantasy?

[Anonymous No.16813047]

>>16813026
All lesbian harem.

[Anonymous No.16813071]

>>16811374
Way too verbose

[Anonymous No.16813361]

>>16810449
I used to work a rather brutal warehouse job with my flatmate where the horrid conditions led to strange situations. Began writing a poem about it for fun, here is a little snippet of what I have so far:

five years is all it takes
for your flesh to accept the reality of
sorting boxes in a filthy hole
you might accept it with your soul
if you take the benefits into account

it's easy to make a career of chip-chipping your bones away
when the Man foots your hospital bills
puts drive-thru on the dashboard and
slops haute cuisine into kitty's bowl

though it seems underwhelming now
rockstar parking in front of the guard shack
must be heaven for the semi-centennials
whose joints have certainly started to ache by now
see: yourself in thirty seven years

[Anonymous No.16813387]

>>16810529
I have this little hobby of going to the new books section of the local bookstore and judging every new novel by their opening paragraph. 9 books out of 10 fail on the first line. They're shit. Only one out of ten are passable and something I'd actually read without cringing. I should have good chances of getting published, but I can't come up with a storyline in my own language to save my life. I only write in English.

[Anonymous No.16813401]

>>16810449
Screaming erupted into the night and I looked back to see a figure dressed in a long coat running with something in it's arms away from the gas station. I noticed the imprints of crimson they left behind on the pavement with every step taken before closing my car door and running into the gas station. It was as a scene that would be burned into my brain the rest of my life. The customers that were in here were stuck in the cement ceiling. Their lower bodies and legs hang, spasming and kicking every which way. My cobalt eyes stared in awe before drifting to the cashier kneeling in the corner with her hands up to her face.

Her back was to me but I could see that she shook with the force of her screams which were sounding inhumane with every moment. I carefully zig zagged through the flailing limbs and when I finally reached her I touched her shoulder to turn her. She forcefully tore away from my grip.

"What the fuck happened?!" I yelled, on the verge of screaming myself.

She stopped screaming. And when she turned to look at me, I felt an extremely cold sensation wash over me.

"Prosperine took my face," She whispered through her lipless teeth.

I heard the ringer go off in the store and immediately turned to look at a figure in a long coat standing in the doorway. Long raven black hair streaked down along gore streaks on it's coat as it took off it's hood to reveal a feminine face that would evoke the word beauty, if it were not for the pieces of it's skull that lifted up in makeshift horns.

"I almost forgot your honey eyes," Three voices spoke at once from it's lips as it stared at the faceless cashier.

Before turning to meet my gaze. One corner of it's pale, thin, lips curved into a crooked smile.

"Do you want to live?" It asked.

I couldn't answer it as I stared into it's spiraling eyes.

"It's a simple question, boy,"

"I don't care," I said flatly.

It tilted it's head to the side as the flailing limbs stopped. I looked at them as they began to drop to the floor in heaps of flesh before looking back at the doorway to see the figure gone. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as I felt a tug at my hand. I looked at the faceless cashier gripping me.

"Call the police," her voice came out weakly.

I gently rested her against the shelve before stepping over the limbs to the front of the station and spot a land line. As I went to it, I looked out the window to see the back of the figure in the long coat calmly walking away. The figure stopped and turned to look back at me. It's eyes focused on me before lifting it's hand and motioning to me.

I stared at the figure as a pleasant burn began in my chest, before walking out of the station and into the night to meet Prosperine.

Would appreciate feedback

[Anonymous No.16813418]

>>16811351
It was implied in the picture.

[Anonymous No.16813469]

>>16813418
Oh sorry I'm retarded

[Anonymous No.16813537]

>>16813401
> My cobalt eyes

[Anonymous No.16813762]

>>16813469
No worries, friend.

[Anonymous No.16814113]

Just finished the first episode of my five part saga (and part 1 in episodes in the double digits). 27,000 words pre-edit. Might not seem like a lot but it's quality over quantity on this one.

Once the editor gets a few pages done I can start uploading them to Royal Road.

[Anonymous No.16814167]

>>16811136
But horse glue is just as ancient as swords. Why would it be out of setting?

[Anonymous No.16814173]

>>16814113
Hey, 27k words is nothing to scoff at. Good work anon!

[Anonymous No.16814181]

>>16814173
I've already scripted and polished 4 feature length episode scripts. I adapt it scene by scene into a book. So a ton of writing has already been done. So I've got at least 4 more episodes/books of equal and greater length to go. It's not daunting but it's a little depressing how long it takes to get 27k words done when you know there's x4 (and many more) of the same to go. It's taken me a long time of chipping away at the story to get this far.

[Anonymous No.16814399]

>>16812128
Did you format your books right?
Each book should be 200+ pages, you're probably losing a lot of customers because they think it's actually smaller than it is.

[Anonymous No.16814407]

>>16814113
>Royal Road
I'm jealous, all I can do in my shit country is sending them to publishers. I want people to read my stories but how am I supposed to do that without making it?

[Anonymous No.16814420]

>>16814407
You can't upload to royal road?

[Anonymous No.16814424]

>>16814420
I would need to write in English

[Anonymous No.16814439]

Does writing become less painful the more I do it? I love telling stories and coming up with lore for art/DnDshit, but putting it down to prose is consistently a struggle.

[Anonymous No.16814448]

Give yourself the push you need to hit your 50,000-word goal and win NaNoWriMo in 2020.

Every Thursday of November, Reedsy will host a Write-In on YouTube where NaNoWriMo contestants can join us for a series of guided writing sprints, where you can knuckle down and chisel away at your writing goals. In between the writing sessions, you can submit your questions, share your progress, and enjoy the virtual company of hundreds of fellow "Wrimos".

Every Thursday of November 2020, 2 pm Eastern (11 am Pacific, 7 pm UTC, 3 am HK)

https://www.youtube.com/c/Reedsy

[Anonymous No.16814452]

>>16814439
I avoid writing without having an idea of where I'm going. I plot out the dramatic stuff, the boring stuff, and the choices my characters make as a trifecta.

Once I have that as a basis then at least I'm not writing blind. Doing that can be a nightmare because of the mental effort it takes to create a world whilst writing prose. Some writers might be able to do it but I can't. I break down writing my story so I have 4+ drafts to rework it into something halfway decent. Trying to be perfect from the get-go (even with edits in mind) is too much hassle for something I enjoy and it simply doesn't work for me.

[Anonymous No.16814467]

>>16814452
some people are discovery writers, some are outline writers
even that fat faggot george martin doesnt use outlines and thats okay

everything that works for you is okay anons

[Anonymous No.16814488]

>>16811136
will he be road later on in the story? is the horse important at all to the story? or is it just world building with some people trying to break-in a horse?

[Anonymous No.16814624]

Hello anons. I'd like to do a small survey for fun. Reply to this post with the following.


>Average word count of your first drafts
>Your average scene/chapter length
>Time of the day you write
># of days per week you write and the amount you write per session

I'll start
>40k (rewrites usually bring them to 60ish)
>probably 50%+ are between 1000-1400 words
>noonish or right before bed
>one or two days of 3000-4000 words

[Anonymous No.16814644]

>>16814439
It shouldn't be painful, you should enjoy it. It sounds like you're doing it wrong, and it probably shows in your writing. Write from your heart, anon, not from your head. Use your head later to edit and rewrite it.

[Anonymous No.16814684]

>>16814644
You're probably right. There are moments when I really get into a state of flow - normally right when I'm trying to sleep - where words come easily to me and I'm able to articulate what I want to write really well.

I just can't often get into that state, which is where the difficulty lies. I sit there for an hour and get 500 words that I'm not particularly happy with, that don't convey very well what I'm trying to get across.

[Anonymous No.16814694]

>>16814439
I just tell myself I can't get back to playing Terranigma until I finish this draft. It's worked so far.

[Anonymous No.16814828]

>>16812225
Why is it miserable?

[Anonymous No.16814858]

>>16810568
Don't overdescribe things visually. It's a common mistake that first writers make. We don't need to know specifically how each character's weight is, or the way he dresses, or the way he talks if it's not really necessary to the story. What we need though most of the time, is to get into the main character's way of thinking.
Don't make short sentences unless it's to make a pause. There needs to be rythm, and that usually means long sentences, sometimes cut by short ones. Long sentences help to get into a stream of thought, and inside the characters or the story.

[Anonymous No.16814862]

>>16810601
This is truth!

[Anonymous No.16814865]

>>16814684
Maybe think about whether or not what you're writing is crucial to the story, if the story needs to be as long as you're trying to make it to convey what you want it to. Likewise, if you're a beginner, you may just need to learn how to effectively manage your inspiration or get better at scene pacing so you aren't boring yourself with your own content.

[Anonymous No.16814868]

Do any of you have a blog or website where you post material? I'm curious to read what you guys are writing.

[Anonymous No.16814885]

>no time at all, work 14 hours a day
>the only time you can write is maybe 4 hours a week when you have a free day
I'm not going to make it, right?

[Anonymous No.16814893]

Do I have I quit my job and become penniless to go after writing? I’m on break and only get 15 minutes, when I get home later it’ll be cleaning cooking running trash to the road Washing clothes getting tools ready for next day lawn care etc etc

Feel like the only way I would have hours to dedicate is to quit my job and that’s just not going to happen, how do I become a neet

[Anonymous No.16814927]

>>16814893
>>16814885
My advice, you have to steal time for it. You have to sacrifice other activities. That is what it means to be passionate. Instead of TV or Twitter, take out your notebook. You must fall into it headfirst, scared, as one falls in love.

[Anonymous No.16814949]

>>16810449
"I say, what on earth is that...beast?"
"They are what those learned folk call a 'rhinoceros', Franklin."

[Anonymous No.16814961]

>>16814624
>Draft is still ongoing, sitting on top of 150k words at the moment
>2~3k words
>Any time I'm not playing other hobbies, or migraine, or starving, or anything negative
>Might work on a chapter as much as 2-3 days, each session can be about 500 words minimum to ~2k words in a session. Last night was rough for me, did 1,400 words in 6hr period due to distractions.

>>16814868
I write on Royalroad. A few others did too, but their fics went on hiatius. Many such cases.

[Anonymous No.16814964]

>>16814949
"I say, what on earth is that...a nigger?"
"They are what those learned folk call an 'afroamerican', Franklin."

[Anonymous No.16814969]

>>16814399
The page numbers seemed off to me as well. No idea why. I thought I formatted everything correctly, but perhaps I’m mistaken.

[Anonymous No.16815002]

Guys, i'm writing a short story and trying to make a plan of the actions inside the story.
It's about a couple that's separated since a while and they're invited at some beach party. It's pretty awkward cause they haven't announced it yet to their friends and they're kinda afraid to say it and disappoint them.
And as the party goes along and they both get drunk, talking to different people...the woman suddenly gets second thoughts and asks the guy if they're sure they wanna stay separated.
I have a very vivid sense of how that scene would happen, but beyond that, i have no idea where this story goes from there.
There is a sense of destiny/fate that i'm trying to grasp, but it's getting a bit too dark and i'm not sure i want to write something like that.
So i'm kinda blocked in the story process because i'm not sure where my motivation is in writing this story.
Any recommandations/advices?

[Anonymous No.16815033]

>>16815002
>very vivid sense of how that scene would happen
Write as much as you can. You might be surprised by how much you figure out as you go along. Ideas will pop into your head. If not, then you have to brainstorm. I recommend paper and pen. Your motivation for writing the story is to improve your craft and get the idea out of your head, so it stops haunting you.

[Anonymous No.16815039]

>>16815002
literally just write
discovery writing brother

[Anonymous No.16815052]

>>16814399
>>16814969

Amazon will shrink your page count as much as possible. It does this to prevent authors from gaming their system. So a 50k word book will only be about 100 pages or so.

[Anonymous No.16815054]

Is it bad form to share a first draft of a first chapter? I'm anxious to get input on my pacing and writing style, but I appreciate how it can look a bit half-arsed.

[Anonymous No.16815064]

>>16815054
Go for it senpai

[Anonymous No.16815072]

>>16815054
no

[Anonymous No.16815095]

I AM THE BEST
I WILL MAKE IT
I AM GOING TO FUCKING MAKE IT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.16815103]

>2.5 hours
>278 words
this shit better be worth it

>>16809448
>Elaborate if you will.
that's pretty much it. i thought, hey isn't it neat if i could symbolize someone's broken dreams and disappointment by making him look for his lost cat in a forest fire? then there's nothing because i couldn't come up with a plot to drive it. a scene is the best i could do. sometimes i get lucky and get ideas as i write, and sometimes the piece ended up becoming drawn out with no substance.
>How can you illustrate those?
i'm just going to read through people's short stories to familiarize myself with how plot works and also get ideas while checking myself to not plagiarize. gonna pass on the thread prompt for now, though, as i'm in the middle of trying something out.

>>16810539
small exercises, bro. find a prompt and just aim for two hundred words or so every day.

[Anonymous No.16815109]

>>16815064
>>16815072
Thanks anons.
https://pastebin.com/f4XEpeQg
950 words, perhaps a bit padded out. I wanted it to be sort of a conversational style, though. Will accept any input whatsoever.

[Anonymous No.16815111]

>>16813071
But i love verbose shit :(

[Anonymous No.16815114]

>>16814969
For what it's worth, my 50k book is a bit over 200 pages on Amazon and my 35k book is around 140 pages. I used Vellum. Also had shorter paragraphs and 1k-3k chapters.

[Anonymous No.16815142]

>>16815095

[Anonymous No.16815159]

>>16815033
>>16815039
Thanks guys!

[Anonymous No.16815164]

>>16815095
DON'T! You don't have to be the best.
You have to MAKE IT!

[Anonymous No.16815192]

>>16815095
>>16815164
This, but you also don't have to MAKE IT if that means being published and becoming successful!
You have to MAKE IT as in MAKE THE STORY, WRITE IT DOWN. Write it and enjoy it! A hobby is just fine too desu desu desu!

[Anonymous No.16815282]

>>16815192
That's what i wanted to say, yes. MAKE IT as in JUST WRITE!

[Anonymous No.16815342]

>>16815282
>>16815192
Fighting~

[Anonymous No.16815353]

>>16815342
I'm not fighting, it's all good!

[Anonymous No.16815392]

>>16815342
The only thing I fight for is anon's happiness!

[Anonymous No.16815443]

>>16810449
“Verily my Janny dear, verily your time is near
Of toil and diligence” I briefly sneer “bequeathed thee thy master here,
with many riches, coin and gold?
Jannistorius my friend of old, of which thine works I doth behold
Surely there’s another way, than to delete threads without pay?"

"With a room so small and wage so scanty
how can thy maintain thy ass, with pustules plenty?
Subsist on hot pockets, and gatorade
prepares thee for the longest raids"

Delete my thread and banished me away
kicked mine ass by his dung-crested boots
Smirking, smug and gay, the Janny made his final say
"It matters not, I will convey, the price I earn is not of goods
rather than complete thy post, I'll scorch it by the end of day"


"Verily my Janny queer, do not rebuke me so severe
as truth of truths you cannot know, unto which address my IP will go
I've copied these works, so doth not gloat
next time I'll bring it from abroad"

[Anonymous No.16815547]

>>16814424
Submissions in other languages are accepted too.
If they'll have readers too is another matter.

[Anonymous No.16816111]

>>16815109
Overall I would say I don't know much about James (failed writer with a dead dad and a dog), I don't know much about the place, and I don't know where it's going plot-wise until the last paragraph (and even then, I don't know much about where it's going). For that amount of words, I should know a lot more about at least one of those things. It might be what you intended but, personally, I thought the last paragraph was a little bit too abrupt.

>Whenever he realised that a writer he was to be, mattered not.
>It was to be a walk, then.
These bits seemed a little off, too formal (or trying too hard to be formal). I think I know what you were going for but I don't think it really fits the tone.

>He often reckoned he could’ve been a Google engineer because of it, having seen some quote once about how doing things the easy way was a wiser choice than it’s given credit for. Becoming a Google engineer certainly wasn’t the path of least resistance, though.
I don't know where google came from in this thought, it doesn't seem really very relevant. The first sentence was quite a difficult way of conveying the sentiment as well.

>Premier
People outside of the UK won't know what this is. Even people in the UK might not know. I'd use more universal language personally.

>Mrs Patel
>Brexit
This is a bit pedantic of me but would Brexit really impact someone called Mrs Patel? I assume she's Indian and not European.

>James checked his phone as the two of them reached the steps down to the old rail line. Hannah had texted, asking about how today’s writing session had gone. James put his phone away, before immediately pulling it back out to check the time. Eight minutes to get across town - he was close with his estimate. He put it away a second time; he’d reply to Hannah later.
Again, I think I know what you were going for but I'm not sure you need to describe him pulling out his phone and putting it back a bunch of times. Doesn't really add much. Same goes for the line about him needing to pee.

>With that, Mario was off down the stairs, his paws making a satisfying pitter-patter as he scrambled to the front door in record time. James had to smile. An excited dog was definitely one of life’s sweeter joys. A transfer of happiness, from dog to owner. Maybe he could write a book about a dog and its owner swapping bodies. Had that been done already?
I liked this bit. I think this bit hits the tone that you wanted while still conveying information. It tells us more about James than the whole first two paragraphs.

All just my opinion, of course. I think it has potential if you give it a bit of an edit and a bit more purpose/content.

[Anonymous No.16816377]

Why can't I stop going into so much detail whenever I describe a character's actions? I have spoken so much but said so little. The worst part is that I like what I'm reading when I'm done, but I know that this is a problem that needs to be fixed. Isn't it?

[Anonymous No.16816489]

>>16816377
If you like it, fuck everyone who doesn't. Unless you want to publish something, because then, you'll need to sell your soul. Share your work, anon.

[Anonymous No.16816510]

>>16816489
It's in Spanish. I wish I could show it off, though.

[Anonymous No.16816571]

>>16816510
I'm a native spanish speaker kek. You could do a quick google translation at the cost of grammar, or show it in spanish for those who understand it.

[Anonymous No.16816636]

>>16816571
Okay, here goes nothing. This is not edited, at all. I was planning on showing it to some people after I was done writing the first chapter, and only edit it after the entire novel is complete.
These are the first 1200 words of the first chapter:
https://pastebin.com/U8M66zWn

[Anonymous No.16816812]

I have an almost ready story idea, about the relationship between two characters. The problem is, I simply can't come up with an interesting way how they meet for the first time.

They're students, it would be natural to meet in a classroom and get to know each other over a shared assignment or whatever. But that's so mundane and boring. They could share a dormitory room, but that feels too "lucky" and convenient too. Such obvious wish-fulfilment. I want something more unique and meaningful. A dramatic encounter that immediately creates a special connection.

In jap LNs, the MC always walks in on the heroine in her underwear, getting changed. It's so dumb, but also genius. The protagonist and the heroine establish a link of intimacy and tension in a single moment, a shared secret, which gives them an easy topic to talk about when they meet again. But how can I achieve the same effect in a way that's not pants-over-head retarded and cliche? This is surprisingly difficult.

[Anonymous No.16816847]

>>16816812
How about meeting in a party in which they are shoved into a closet to make out with a stranger, but instead they just talk and pretend they did it when they come out so that they don't lose face?

[Anonymous No.16816903]

>>16816847
>a party in which they are shoved into a closet to make out with a stranger
They're not American students. And that sounds even more like wish-fulfilment than accidentally catching a girl in her underwear.

I did think about starting with a party, but the other character is not much of a party-goer type and only made things awkward, so I scrapped the draft.

[Anonymous No.16816939]

>>16816636
Te hablaré en Español para que podamos entendernos mejor, si te parece bien. La mayoría te diría que es demasiado forzoso, que es ''cringe'', que no tiene sentido, pretencioso o que es ''púrpura''. Yo te digo que no sobra ni una sola palabra de la que has escrito, y que esta clase de escrituras merecen la pena leerlas tranquilamente, e incluso releerlas, porque hay mucho que procesar y sentir de cada frase. Se nota que es íntimo, y sincero. Me encanta, y creo que tiene mucho potencial si la historia en sí misma es buena. El único error que veo es que deberías poner comillas en los diálogos/monólogos para separarlo de la narración, pero como dijiste, no está editado.

Aún así, como dije, la mayoría no diría esto. Así que, el mayor consejo que te puedo dar te lo resumo en algo que se me ocurrió escribir en inglés:

Have Faith in your work as an extension of yourself, do not trust others to treat it as it should, because the majority of people are a bunch of egomaniacs who don't care about Truth. Fuck readers, fuck writers, and glory be to words.

If the reader doesn't like the perspective of the fictional character, the reader isn't worth to meet such fictional character. If the fictional character worries more about the perspective of others than of his own (therefore sacrificing it to satisfy others), the fictional character is a faggot who has no self-respect, and his existence isn't worth.

Eso sí, este consejo solo vale si escribes con integridad e intimidad, pero si tu objetivo es tener éxito en el mercado, entonces no me hagas caso.

[Anonymous No.16816963]

>>16816903
Yeah, you're right. Dramatic encounter that creates a connection...
What if one of them loses a personal object in a public place and the other character finds it by chance? Then, the second character has it around in class, the first one recognizes it and wants it back. That's the starting point.

[Anonymous No.16817025]

>>16816963
That's rather trivial, I think. A has no real reason to even remember B's face after they get the item back. Unless B is a bully and refuses to give it. In which case they become enemies instead of friends. I guess a grudge turning into affection over time could be fun too, but I didn't envision B as such a jerk.

[Anonymous No.16817046]

>>16816939
I really appreciate your post. You are right in that it goes against conventional criticism, and while that might be problematic for some people, I wouldn't dare be ungrateful to you. To be honest, I didn't care about a market when I wrote it. The prospect of making money off this does not really appeal to me. It would be wonderful, but I've realized that that's not my priority. What I wanted to do was to get across a certain set of sensations. There are several works of art that have inspired certain emotions in me, and have taken a permanent residence in my thoughts, and I wanted to recreate that experience in other people. I'd only care about being a best seller because it would mean that a lot of people would get to read it, and then the chances of someone feeling the same kind of love towards my work as I have felt towards other's would increase.
I don't know how much of myself I poured into that character, as her background and concerns are pretty different from my own, but I really want to explore that other person and have her come out to the light. I want to make something that appeals to the sublime, so to speak. Edgar Allan Poe wrote that beauty is an effect, a reaction rather than a attribute, and that writers either appeal to the mind, the heart or the soul. I don't expect to reach grand heights of aesthetic appeal. But I wanted the reader to feel immersed in the reading, to create a sentiment that follows them even after their eyes have left the page. That's the most valuable experience I've ever had with art, and I love it so much that I wanted to contribute to it, and spread it among others.
Man, must this sound pretentious and up my own ass. But still, that is what I want to do.

[Anonymous No.16817056]

>>16817025
I want to help you, but I'm probably missing some key elements in regards to their relationship to be able to conceive a proper first meeting. I think you should take into account the nature of their relationship and try to set the most appropriate setting stone for it from their very first encounter.

[Anonymous No.16817176]

>>16817056
I suppose I should tell more. Both characters are girls, but their relationship probably won't be sexual. It's mostly rivalry and friendship, as they deal with school and private life matters. Later on, A ends up learning a grim secret she doesn't want B to find out.

But this only makes the circumstances of their meeting more difficult to picture. I mean, a guy and a girl in a romance, that's about the easiest thing in the world to set up. There are a trillion stories like that. But how to connect two people without the implication that they want to bang? I'm not getting it.

[Anonymous No.16817218]

>>16817046
>But I wanted the reader to feel immersed in the reading, to create a sentiment that follows them even after their eyes have left the page.
Exactly what I felt with those 1200 words. But, mostly won't. That's why I insist to you to have Faith in it, to keep going no matter what they tell you, unless it is truly valid and objective and not ''muuuh too much explanation''. It seems that you already have a conviction, but still, take this as a boost. It feels isolated having such attitude, I know it myself.

>Man, must this sound pretentious and up my own ass.
A pretentious thing pretends to be without being, it is empty, false. What you said is objective, truthful and with a meaningful core. Therefore, objectively, not pretentious. What truly is pretentious is something that sells itself at the expenses of its essence. Beauty, like Truth, is absolute, and even tho we only can grasp very little in comparison with the whole of it, it is worth trying to for the glory of such, which I call it ''God''. So, keep doing what you want to do, because it is worth. May God guide you in your purpose, which is guiding you to Himself. Bless you

[Anonymous No.16817221]

>>16817176
You should aim for a moment of ambiguity. Their passions should lead them to coincide in a particular place, and their personalities would direct their attraction to each other, be this as a rival or a friend. Since you want to emphasize more the friendship aspect, their first meeting should reflect that over their rivalry.
Maybe those lesbian undertones would be best communicated later down the line?

[Anonymous No.16817249]

>>16817218
Thanks a lot, anon. You've really given me a boost. I've read it for the first time since I wrote it and I feel that there's still much to correct. A lot of awkward phrases that should be structured, and some details have me questioning their purpose, such as the marks on the bench. Still, this is basically the natural rock after being chipped for a while; there is much work needed before it will be up to the standards I want to set. I'm happy that you found the essence already present, but I believe I could do better. Still, I will reaffirm myself and have faith in realizing my own vision. Getting people to read it might prove an obstacle. If I am ever given an offer to publish it, but it needs to be edited by a third party I might refuse; it feels wrong to leave something so personal in the hands of a stranger.
In the last thread an anon showed how much an editor had changed their work and I found that level of modification a little disturbing.

[Anonymous No.16817335]

How do I start an isekai story in such a way that my reader will think
>shit this looks pretty cool I need more
on the first or second page?

[Anonymous No.16817337]

>>16817221
>You should aim for a moment of ambiguity.
That's not good. There needs to be a clear, concrete reason why A has no choice but to deal with B, instead of remaining as strangers. As I said, this can't be played like romance, relying on emotion to make them naturally gravitate towards each other. There's only one place where they can meet, the school they go to, somehow the trigger has to be found there. It's like a puzzle.

[Anonymous No.16817347]

>>16817335
I mean how do I promise them that the story will be fucking cool and full of fun things without a boring beginning?

[Anonymous No.16817413]

>>16817249
>details have me questioning their purpose, such as the marks on the bench
Many people were there for fun, but she is alone in her exceptional situation (Heavy contrast for dramatic effect). The fact that you say that the bench is a ''lifeboat'' after telling about the marks of a much more casual past would imply that she feels safe because of the normality that transmits her being sitted there. Like, common/monotonous things are what helps us cope with disturbing/rare experiences. It would make sense.

>but I believe I could do better.
Always. As I said, in terms of Beauty and Truth, we can only grasp very little in comparison with the whole of it.

>it feels wrong to leave something so personal in the hands of a stranger.
It isn't that personal for the majority, I think.

[Anonymous No.16817511]

Anons, how to write good dialogue?

[Anonymous No.16817664]

>>16817511
Write a conservation, then act it out loud to see if it sounds natural. If not, phrase it until it does.

[Anonymous No.16817908]

>>16817664
How do I know if it sounds natural? What is "to sound natural"?

[Anonymous No.16817959]

>>16817908
if it sounds like a normal conversation you fucking autist

[Anonymous No.16818035]

>>16815111
Verbose stuff has a very small appeal. It can be good, but the problem is that it literally takes more effort to read a verbose sentence. If the reader doesn't know if your book is worth reading, they'll see dense wordage and feel repelled. Also, thinking of how to concisely present the point of your paragraph will help you hone the overall theme/meaning of your writing.

[Anonymous No.16818036]

>>16817959
A-Anon, what would be a "normal conversation"? A-At least, give me examples! I want examples.

[Anonymous No.16818060]

>>16813026
Harems are haram

[Anonymous No.16818082]

>>16816812
Anon, judging by everything you've said, no one with western tastes would read what you're writing anyway. You're writing a light novel and your similar-taste audience will appreciate the cliches just like you do, so play into them instead of avoiding them.

[Anonymous No.16818088]

>>16818036
Not him, but open a book and find some dialogue. If you need to because of autism, imitate the structure and style the first few times until you get comfortable with it.

[Anonymous No.16818093]

>>16816812
>In jap LNs, the MC always walks in on the heroine in her underwear, getting changed
what light novels do you read?
i think you should change the genre bro or at least read something at higher level

[Anonymous No.16818117]

>>16817511
Tarantino says get the characters talking to each other.

[Anonymous No.16818126]

I want to write a creation myth in form of a poem, but I can't decide on a form. I don't think I want to write it in true rhyme but merely in rythm.
So far I have tried each verse being three lines of eight syllables each, ended by a single three syllable line but it sounds clunky and I dont have much experience in writing poems. Keeping the lines short and snappy feels just like the most elegant approach, so I have not strayed far from that yet.
I already decided that twelve and seven would be important numbers for religions, but I don't know whether to shape my metre after that.
What are some good inspirations for poetic rythms?

[Anonymous No.16818139]

>>16818035
>Verbose stuff has a very small appeal. It can be good, but the problem is that it literally takes more effort to read a verbose sentence. If the reader doesn't know if your book is worth reading, they'll see dense wordage and feel repelled.
I know.

>Also, thinking of how to concisely present the point of your paragraph will help you hone the overall theme/meaning of your writing.
The problem is that the theme/meaning is not at all concise kek. Literally, an adult man with no development emerges as a newborn baby inside of a woman that isn't his mother and overanalyzes his impulses and enviroment as a way to overtake control of them. The fact that the narrator is in first person instead of a omnipresent thirdperson complicates it even more.

>TL;DR WAKE ME UP INSIDE

[Anonymous No.16818154]

>want to write an isekai ln
>know that no sane person is going to like it except some random weebs
>no idea if you should go with it or turn it into a normal fantasy story

[Anonymous No.16818166]

>>16818154
you underestimate the buying power of weebs
you can also churn out five of them instead of one western fantasy novel, and you dont even need to edit them!

[Anonymous No.16818180]

Just received the printing proof for my second book, anons. It’s a great feeling. It’s a collection of genre-specific writing prompts.

[Anonymous No.16818181]

>>16818154
Bro make it the best and maybe itll be the only one of its kind in the western canon

[Anonymous No.16818335]

>>16818126
One of my books has a six line iambic pentameter poem at the beginning of each chapter. It's loose iambic, more worried about ten syllables and rhyming than being a perfect flow of rising and falling emphasis. Was pretty fun crafting them and helped bring out the important parts of the stories as well.

[Anonymous No.16818341]

>>16818335
>>16818126
Also, I read a bunch of Pope to get the timing and rhythm down. https://www.gutenberg.org/files/6130/6130-h/6130-h.htm#toc5

[Anonymous No.16818448]

>>16817511
Depends on what you're going for. The dialogue in something like Pedro Páramo is going to sound very different from Zola, for example. What kind of feel are you going for? Something grounded, or fantastical? Sane, or delusional? It really depends on what kind of world and people you are making.

[Anonymous No.16818470]

I literally have no idea how to publish. Do you just look for a publisher's website and their contact info and drop a PDF on them or something?

[Anonymous No.16818509]

>>16816111
Sorry to reply late anon, life got in the way for a while there. Thank you so much for your input - you've pretty much summarised a lot of doubts that I had about the piece after my first re-read.

This shit is hard, bros

[Anonymous No.16818556]

1/2
“Where is this thing? You would think Google Maps would have reliable directions to a hospital.” Mandy said.
“Where’s it saying to turn?”
“It’s saying William Street but we are on William Street.”
I tilted my head left, momentarily taking my eyes off the road to read Mandy’s device.
“That says turn Wilson Street, not William.”
I quickly turned my eyes back to the road. What I did there was equivalent to a microsleep. 20% of all fatal crashes in Australia are caused by microsleeps. I could have died. Or so they say.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. 20%. I read it somewhere. Check it again.”
“Oh, my bad. You are right. Sorry, I don’t have my glasses on. I swear this thing lies sometimes.”
“Maybe you just have trouble concentrating.”
“I can usually concentrate on this phone for hours on end most times. It’s just when it comes to directions. That’s when I get fuzzy” she said, while dangling her phone around.
“I see. Just keep your eyes peeled. I really don’t want to be late. I promised Linda we would meet her at 3:30.”
“I am keeping them peeled.”
We passed Ben’s Obstetricians & Gynaecologists.
“You know, you ought to try and see the bright side of this Jon.”
“How could there be any bright side to this?”
“Well think about it. Now you don’t have to worry about disappointing him anymore. I’d kill to have that feeling.”
“That’s a horrible thing to say.”
“No, it’s not.”
“I never disappointed him in the first place anyway. I have never done anything that would warrant disappointment. I’ve been very straight.”
“Well maybe not disappointment in the sense of him being disappointed in you here and now. More like, the possibility of disappointment. Disappointed in a way where if you felt he saw what you really thought about things, he would be disappointed in you. That kind of disappointment. Disappointed.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Yes, it does. You have secrets? Yes?”
“Yes of course. Everyone has secrets.”
“Well what if he found out about one of your really dirty ones? Wouldn’t you be ashamed in his probable disappointment?”
“Stop saying disappointment.”
“Be ashamed in the thought that his idealized version of you has been destroyed?”
“Jesus, I guess. But it doesn’t matter because I’ve heard plenty of times from my father and many fathers alike that despite whatever we do or believe, they will always love their children.”
“Do you think if Klara Hitler had lived to see what her little Adolf would become that she would still love her son?”
“I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not.”

[Anonymous No.16818565]

2/2
“Her little Adolf, her sweet boy. It could have been you in another life you know. Suppose you were born in 1889 and the same experiences and phenomena that Hitler lived through were somehow also exposed to you. You most definitely could have achieved the levels of destruction he did.”
“I don’t believe that. I’m a normal guy, I’m not Hitler. I don’t have any secrets that are as bad as being responsible for the deaths of millions.”
“Yes, this is true. However, discovering that your child was responsible for the deaths of millions can have the same emotional impact on a parent as say, finding out that your son has a fetish for animal pornography.”
We passed Julia’s Health Tresillian Parents and Baby Service.
“What?” In what way?” I practically yelled, completely taken aback.
“It is true.” She rebutted, unperturbed by my outrage. “Human emotion is a finite spectrum. For happiness and misery alike. Picture a man in solitary confinement. Imagine this man has been living in a white 3 by 3-meter bedroom for months. Imagine further that during his incarceration the only item that he has been allowed to interact with is a chess set. This chess set is the only thing he has to occupy his mind. Every day he would be playing and experimenting with the pieces, trying different variations, playing games against himself, all in an effort to keep his mind busy. A truly grim existence in it of itself. Now say one day the person or persons imprisoning him decide to randomly take away this chess set. His only distractor in life, what would happen? My friend you would see human misery on a scale that is equal to that of a mother losing her child, or a man his limb. Relatively speaking.”
“What has that got to do with Hitler and animal porn?
“Don’t you see? Emotions are relative. Think in geometries. Could be a line or circle, whichever is easier to imagine. They may be vast and intricate, but it’s not infinite. Do you see what I’m getting at here?”
“Not really. It sounds like all you have said could be put simply as an advocation for determinism. Is this what you have been learning about in night school?”
“Yes, some of it. But other bits of it are my own ideas. Honest.”
“…”
We drove around a few more blocks before finding the Wilson Street sign. An unbearable load off my chest as I hate being lost. I turned the dial on the radio and changed the station to 106.2 The Edge. One of the announcers was giving the daily news report.
“This just in Chinese warships stand in stalemate with Australian warships in the South China Sea. The ongoing dispute over the ownership of the Spratly Islands is believed to be the cause. Prime Minster Christopher Lep to speak shortly.”

[Anonymous No.16818575]

>>16818470
This should be added to the OP, and if it's not, I'm going to start using it as a pasta because I keep having to answer the same question anyway.

Traditional publishing:
>ensure your manuscript is fully completed and edited
>format it properly https://blog.reedsy.com/manuscript-format/ (if you're smart, you'll use scrivener which can export to whatever format you want in a few clicks)
>write a query https://www.janefriedman.com/query-letters/
>(optional) write a 1k word synopsis. not many agents ask for them, but you will feel as though you are dying when you try to write one, so might as well prepare one while you aren't also under the pressure of a deadline
>go to https://querytracker.net/ or similar site and find agents who fit your genre
>tweak your query letter to personalize it to them, usually only one or two lines at the end
>follow the instructions they provide for sending the query letter
>repeat around ten times
>wait a month or two
>if they all reject/ignore you, send ten more
>if anyone doesn't reject you, they'll request the first few chapters of your manuscript or the full thing
>follow their instructions and be polite

[Anonymous No.16818588]

>>16811374
>muh too verbose
Dude, you're a good writer. I shit on you a bit earlier in the thread but in context I like this. I was the anon who said we have similar word choices.
Now let me ask you something, and I do hope you'll respond honestly:
>Do you put in mental effort to use verbose language, or is this the way you naturally type?
For me, I just write how I want and I've been told it's rather verbose or even pretentious. Read Nabokov and tell me that's not verbose

[Anonymous No.16818750]

>>16818588
>Dude, you're a good writer
Thank you, anon. Appreciate it.

>I shit on you a bit earlier in the thread
>I was the anon who said we have similar word choices.
Sorry but, I don't know who you are. In this thread, or the previous one?

>but in context I like this
Do you mean after explaining it myself? The context is weid as fuck, and I understand that it may not come into mind easily/initially without a calm read or even a reread.

>Do you put in mental effort to use verbose language, or is this the way you naturally type?
It comes naturally, but it isn't the only way I type.

>For me, I just write how I want and I've been told it's rather verbose or even pretentious. Read Nabokov and tell me that's not verbose
Almost every writer in history has been verbose and dense as fuck. It can only be pretentious if it's fake/superficial (pretends to be without being), and the fact that someone doesn't care enough about the meaning, doesn't mean it isn't there. I would love to read your work too

[Anonymous No.16818780]

>>16818575
>tfw you're not American and this doesn't help you

[Anonymous No.16818844]

I tried writing a western fantasy story, thoughts? https://pastebin.com/Q6b9Z6zc

[Anonymous No.16818850]

>>16818750
>>Almost every writer in history has been verbose and dense as fuck. It can only be pretentious if it's fake/superficial (pretends to be without being), and the fact that someone doesn't care enough about the meaning, doesn't mean it isn't there. I would love to read your work too

Agreed.
Here is a snippet of a small, discarded project I worked on a while back. I am very cautious about my published work as I've won contests and could easily be doxxed or whatever. Perhaps I'm being paranoid and /lit/ could not give less of a shit, but this website has some deranged people on it. Anyways, critique it if you'd like!

A majority of the in-patients, however, were astonishingly quiet. Years lived in the total absence of conversation. Just the ambience of dull moans and hoarse whispers. Many resigned themselves to their quarters, reading picture books and defecating on the floor. It was a grotesque culture to adjust to, and I disliked it for some time. Just as I grew to abhor the task of cleaning the patients’ bodily waste and feeding medications to rows of clattering jaws, I began to change. A peculiar worm of dopamine burrowed gradually through me, until I came to enjoy the daily routine. Groping schizoids and apeish masturbators had begun to greet me with grating whines and upbeat babbles.
Sullen visages leered from behind interwoven metal laces and elaborate, rusted restraints. An endless procession of papery footwear upon moist tiles.

[Anonymous No.16818905]

I have 100, 200 words tops left until the end my story. I’ve already written 1.5K today, should I finish up or call it a night?

[Anonymous No.16818928]

>>16818905
Finish it; you're gonna have to edit it anyway, so don't worry about not sticking the landing tonight. It'll be better if tomorrow you only need to concern yourself with editing instead of both writing and editing. On top of all that, if you write the ending now you'll be able to sleep on it and have a better perspective on it by tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.16818939]

>>16818905
Finish it right now.

[Anonymous No.16818941]

>>16818850
Hey, that was pretty good. I'm not the best critic and tend to be very forgiving, but I really liked it. That cold analysis accompanied by a bit of a sardonic voice reminded me a little of Hollebecq

[Anonymous No.16818945]

Anons que hablan español, ¿qué opinan de mi novela? Es una épica a la manera del Gilhamesh, la Ilíada y Paradise Lost, pero con rasgos de eroguro juvenil y misticismo. No se la tomen muy en serio, es para pasar un bien rato:
https://www.amazon.com/Ezra-Panini-%C3%A9pica-subjetiva-Spanish-ebook/dp/B08M8KDGHF/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ezra+%26+Panini&qid=1604345019&sr=8-1

[Anonymous No.16818976]

>>16818850
Holy fuck, that's very uncomfortable and bizarre kek

>Groping schizoids and apeish masturbators had begun to greet me with grating whines and upbeat babbles.
Fucking gold anon. It is fun and disturbing. I would like to reach that kind of ''cynical darkish humorous'' touch someday.

>>16818941
Exactly, sardonic.

[Anonymous No.16818986]

>>16818928
>>16818939
Okay, will.
but my favorite streamer is on right now

[Anonymous No.16818987]

>>16818850
Overwritten. It reads like you're trying to prove you know lots of words.

[Anonymous No.16819011]

>>16818987
>t.Retard

[Anonymous No.16819098]

>>16818987
I did not call you a retard, I actually agree with your criticism it is a problem I have. I am an insecure and rather new writer compared to most. If you could delete or modify a specific part, which one would you chose?
>>16818976
Thank you friend, that makes me smile really big.
>>16818941
>compared to Hollebecq in any way
Damn dude thanks a ton

[Anonymous No.16819120]

>>16818986
Agreed with the others: shit it out and come back to it later. Post some of it if you want

[Anonymous No.16819144]

>>16818945
He leido muy poquito, y solo tengo una pregunta, ¿Cómo cojones has publicado esto en amazon?. No lo digo a mal, todo lo contrario. Más que literatura, es ''anti-literatura'', algo que en mi ignorancia, no creía posible (No conozco algo parecido). No sé si pensar que eres un degenerado, un genio o un esquizoide kek. Probablemente una mezcla de las tres. Nadie va a comprar esto, porque es mirar a la locura a los ojos. (Pero deberían) Basadísimo, 10/10.

Otra pregunta, ¿Tiene un sentido en concreto que se va desarrollando poco a poco o es una ''anti-literatura'' pura?

[Anonymous No.16819162]

>>16810484
i will work on this prompt over the weekend and post here or in the next /wg/

[Anonymous No.16819237]

>>16818976
>>16819098
> I actually agree with your criticism it is a problem I have
I'm that anon, (I called him retard) and I disagree with you. Simplifying it would be a heresy, yet, of course, it is your work. And I understand if you want to ''adapt'' your style to the masses. But it would be sad nonetheless. (The fact that it has ''muuh many words'' makes it funnier and more bizarre)

[Anonymous No.16819277]

>>16816812
>In jap LNs, the MC always walks in on the heroine in her underwear, getting changed. It's so dumb, but also genius.
Bro

[Anonymous No.16819289]

>>16819144
Quisiera decir que es materia literaria cruda, que no fue digerida por mi mente ni estilo, y es el lector el que la digiere --de ahí lo de subjetiva. Es una mirada a mi propia existencia, sin pretensiones ni adornos

[Anonymous No.16819295]

>>16819237
Thank you

[Anonymous No.16819330]

>>16818850
I like it. It has good flow. Turn it into a novel. I would buy it.
>>16818987
No.

[Anonymous No.16819389]

>>16819330
Thank you, I am currently working on other stuff right now but the reactions make me want to write more of it. I mostly write about prehistoric life as juvenile as that may be.

[Anonymous No.16819446]

>>16819289
>Materia literaria cruda
Y tan cruda kek. Es muy original, o al menos eso creo, porque no conozco ni he oído hablar de nada parecido. (Si lo hay, corrígeme).

>que no fue digerida por mi mente ni estilo, y es el lector el que la digiere --de ahí lo de subjetiva
Sí pero, una vez se digiere, tiene que haber algo. Es decir, ¿Hay un sentido/mensaje oculto que se va desarrollando poco a poco en el caos? ¿O son varios sentidos que cada cual interpreta? Si es pura subjetividad y puro caos, da hasta miedo existencial kek. Es decir, no onions muy fan del antiarte, onions muy esencialista.

>Es una mirada a mi propia existencia, sin pretensiones ni adornos
Esquizoide basado.

[Anonymous No.16819482]

>>16810601
This is good advice if you're not serial writing, or in the event you are serial writing you haven't started publishing it yet chapter by cha[ter and thus have a buffer log to upload at a gradual pace. In either case, you have all the time in the world.

>>16810653
I do this for chapter outlines sometimes, mostly when I'm at work. Outside of my story I might do some self-care and write about positive stuff no matter how small it is on that day or earlier in the week.

>>16815103
>small exercises, bro. find a prompt and just aim for two hundred words or so every day.
I never really liked this advice. I could instead be writing on my story itself or typing long shit out on 4chan instead.

[Anonymous No.16819526]

far, I feel so very far
the door open or ajar?
Do you have any real dreams?
Nothing, no, rather it seems
No, Nothing satisfies me
Tell me, What do you wish to be?
Away from self and near god

Lord be not so far from me
You are all that I wish to see
Lifeless lonely ash am I
So scattered along the winds

Open for me your Great eye
Only your sight is true sight

Do not be afraid my soul
worry not where you shall go

Though this fever ravishes
You hold me with your right hand
No, no, I am not alone
If I perish I go home


Wake me from this dream wake me from this dream wake me from this dream wake me from this dream wake me from this dream wake me from this dream wake me from this dream

[Anonymous No.16819552]

>>16819446
De hecho sí tiene un significado esotérico: Panini es la realidad última que sueña nuestra realidad dualista sujeto-objeto, que es ilusión. La novela en realidad es el camino místico que sigue un Yo-Panini desde su individualización por la noción de que existe hasta su reconocimiento en esta realidad última-Panini. No sé si haya algo parecido. Yo creo que sí

[Anonymous No.16819777]

>>16819552
Debo decir que he continuado leyendo, y que me encanta. La mejor forma que tengo de describir lo que es por ahora, es con ''anti-literatura''. Tiene sentido en no tenerlo, y lo tiene kek. Es tan ridículo que me hace mucha gracia, casi como un meme por escrito, pero no parece estar ''vacío'', o es un ''vacio'' lleno de cosas, o es una ilusión. Puta locura existencialista y bizarra la Roma ochentera. ¿Cuántas páginas tiene este libro? ¿Tomaste alguna droga al escribir esto? ¿Tienes algún problema mental? Si tiene bastante contenido, me lo compro y te dejo una review al terminarlo

[Anonymous No.16819837]

>>16819777
Impreso tiene 350 páginas en Georgia 11. Es un libro más o menos largo, dividido en tres partes, cada una más rara y experimental que la anterior. No usé ninguna droga y no tengo ninguna enfermedad mental. En realidad significó tres años de mucho estudio de las religiones del mundo y sus textos sagrados en las mejores traducciones que conseguí. Quisiera decir que este es mi libro de libros, y que en él estoy yo completamente plasmado en lenguaje

[Anonymous No.16819896]

Argentina is white.

[Anonymous No.16819923]

Alright anons, I'm back for another round of critiques. Feel free to post excerpts or short stories. You can even take advantage of the Rhino prompt to write something specifically for the thread.


>>16814828
My MA is miserable right now because the required classes I'm in are awful. Bad professors, classmates, readings, and assignments. There aren't many classes I can look forward to either. Most of the fun subjects are cross-listed and I'm not interested in taking undergraduate courses for twice the cost and twice the work.

[Anonymous No.16819936]

>tfw have written something very unusual and realize that trying to get it published is going to be somewhat difficult

Fortunately, I THINK I have some leads. That's better than I had the last time I tried to get a book published.

[Anonymous No.16819981]

>tfw have stories in my head I know are good
>tfw I need to write or I get grumpy after a few days
>tfw I've watched over 1000 movies
>tfw I've read less than 100 (fiction) books
All I want is to get to work writing what I feel I should be, but know I don't have the proper foundation to do so.

[Anonymous No.16820034]

>>16819981
In that case what you need to do is write for exercise. You won't get any better if you don't put in the practice. That's what the prompt and the exercises in the books in the OP are for. Write something, anything. Then report back for critique. Then revise.
I'm in the same situation as you and I'm sure there are plenty of other people waiting for the time they can adequately compose their ideas here in this very thread. The only way to get there is through practice. You'll fail at first. Then you'll get better. Someday you're going to write those stories anon. You might as well start preparing for them now.

[Anonymous No.16820035]

>>16819837
>en él estoy yo completamente plasmado en lenguaje
>y tienes la valentía de decirme que no tienes un problema mental
Esto roza la locura y la genialidad y la estupidez constantemente y al mismo tiempo, y me hace reir. Es muy estimulante. Ya me lo he comprado, pero no leo más por ahora que cuesta de digerir y asimilar. Que aventura kek

[Anonymous No.16820066]

>>16819981
Literally just start writing, you need to treat it like a muscle, if you have all the story in your head, you need to be able to put it on paper, and to do that in the most efficient way, it will take a lot of practice

[Anonymous No.16820101]

>>16819981
>>16820066
I'll reiterate this, so much of writing is just transplanting the scene in your head onto the paper, you need to really start building up your ability to do this. At first, it might be tough, you want to get to the point where, if it's in your head, you can get it down no problem.

[Anonymous No.16820197]

>>16818939
>>16818928
Okay I finished it. Thanks guys, time for a break!
>>16819120
Nah, it’s pointless to post anything before the first edit. I’ll try to start on that this weekend, once I take some time away from it. Maybe I’ll post it here then.

[Anonymous No.16820539]

>>16811374
(The original is in Spanish, and this would be a part much better translated)

I begin to open my eyes, to the deaf noise, of the distant echoes of my own existence, wrapped up, in a forgotten night. The water of my shelter, vibrates in harmony with my heartbeat, drowned by the thunder, of a distant drum. My body, surrounded in dense, and warm humidness, levitates, in this interior. I stare without seeing, I move without touching, caught in the security, of the unknowing, without abandoning being. I am a slave of peace, dominated by tranquility, subdued by the love, of an unconditional essentiality. The infinite of the whole, does not overwhelm me, nor does the abyss of this nothingness, frighten me. And by realizing it, by giving it word, by possessing truth, without depending on its presence, I free myself, from this realm.

[Anonymous No.16820662]

>>16810635
No seas maricón y pásalo.

[Anonymous No.16821126]

>>16818575
>write a 1k word synopsis
>the synopsis is another novel
lol

[Anonymous No.16821139]

>>16818082
>judging by everything you've said
>You're writing a light novel
I don't know what gave you that idea, because it's the exact opposite of what I'm saying. I'm trying to write real literature here, so take your cliches elsewhere

[Anonymous No.16821176]

>>16818341
>Gutenberg is blocked from German IP addresses
Fucking German cunts.

[Anonymous No.16821751]

What they don’t want you to know is that when you get out there, I mean deep out there, past all the roads and the wires, it’s dark, black as night. No more fluorescent lights and slamming doors, you can take a moment to really get eaten up and spat out. Sure it’s dangerous, it’s always dangerous, hell you’re more likely to die any given day than most are willing to admit. But if you’re too scared of getting burnt to light the fire, you freeze. Out there in the howl of the world, where the wind hits from all sides and the rain is to be danced for, you start reading between the lines. A moment of silence is something to strive for, and the time and place to think is something most people don’t see many times in their life. So my prescription is simple, you pick a direction and you drive, when you can’t drive you walk and when you can’t walk you sleep.

[Anonymous No.16821760]

just a short bit of prose I was working on yesterday

The street lights slide by like shooting stars, and your breath fogs gray against the chill night. The lights cut to black as you cross city bounds. The engine growls as you reach the top of the hill. No resistance, only acceleration. You feel yourself sucked upward as the car begins to descend. The tires and road share only the lightest touch, just enough to keep you from flying as you plummet down into the valley. Tearing through black country roads and leaving a solid streak of electric white ink.

[Anonymous No.16821853]

>>16821760
>second person

[Anonymous No.16821893]

Why of you write non fiction? I'm always surrounded by fictionfags

[Anonymous No.16821897]

>>16821893
Fuck, I mean Any of you

[Anonymous No.16821925]

>>16821139
Anon, what I'm saying is everything you personally said, not what the story is about. You posted an anime picture, are writing a story through the "not an anime" lens, and you want it to be serious. You're trying to blend things which do not blend, so either write a light novel or write a school drama, but don't bother trying to blend the two because, judging by the question you asked, you aren't skilled or familiar enough in writing to pull it off. I don't mean to sound like a jerk, I'm just trying to reign in your ambitions a bit.

[Anonymous No.16821943]

>>16821760
DO NOT use second person if you don't know what you are doing

[Anonymous No.16821973]

>>16821943
how do you learn what you're doing

[Anonymous No.16821988]

>>16821973
If you don't know what you're doing, you should not try or practice, even on an anonymous Cambodian arrowhead chipping forum, apparently

[Anonymous No.16822024]

And although I may laugh with you, cry with you, repeat the thousand and one faces of God along with you when it's needed, the enlightened beast that creeps out from the inky black of my consciousness knows the truth. That I don't know you, I don't love you. I can't. I am a prisoner of box of flesh and sinew and nothing real and I am sorry for it but I can only see as every form and shape passes through my life through my iris into me and out the same way but I never really can hold on to it as much as I want to love it because its not real it was never real i wanted it to be real but it wont because i dont want it to be real because thats too hard and i just want it to be easy and we can be just one all the time but that wont because you actually have a life and i dont and i want it so fucking bad and it never will be and the closest ill ever get to it is just texting "gn" every day at the same fucking time and you saying "goodnight" back and itll only end when I die i think

[Anonymous No.16822031]

>>16822024
bro you ok?

[Anonymous No.16822041]

>>16822031
probably not. Usually I'm fine when I don't actively think about it but somehow no matter how much I try to distract myself every road leads back to him and it just makes me feel like shit

[Anonymous No.16822077]

>>16821988
You see that a new post has been added to the thread you’re reading on a Mesopotamian rug-making forum. You begin to read the post, but something is wrong. The hairs at the back of your neck stand on end. The post is written entirely in the second person. You, YOU are the focus. This is absurd, how can this poster know what YOU are doing? Sharp pains sink in from your pupils and to the back of your head. Every sentence the poster addresses YOU, and every single you’re, your, and y’all are like hammer blows to the cranium. What is this idiot thinking? You want to look away, close the page, turn off the screen, but you can’t. Your consciousness has been glued to the paragraph by it’s inherent and offensive point of view. You have to keep reading, because you are the subject. Your eyes begin to dry, your face begins to wrinkle like spoiling fruit. You can’t look away to check, but you can feel your body desiccating as you’re forced to read this devil’s prose. Finally, the end, the last sentence, one more comma, but you’re already dead.

[Anonymous No.16822094]

>>16822077
>expect to see a candlejack joke at the end
>there is no
what a dumb p-

[Anonymous No.16822100]

>>16821925
>You posted an anime picture

I can already tell this is all you were thinking about. Yes, I watch anime, yes, I post anime images on an anime-centric image board. That does not mean everything I think about or do in life is anime. Should I have said "picture unrelated" for you to understand that the picture was unrelated?

I asked a very simple question: what's a natural, logical way for two people to become friends in an academic setting. Everything else is irrelevant projection and speculation, and beside the point. And the only advice I get is "uh ah eh err write a light novel bro". How does it even come to that?

[Anonymous No.16822106]

>>16820662
I did, right here >>16816636

[Anonymous No.16822144]

>>16822100
You also mentioned light novels, anon, and in essence were asking for a "non-cliche pantsu scene alternative" which is viewing your story in relation to anime cliches. I'm not talking down about anime or their cliches.

[Anonymous No.16822159]

I've never edited even a single page in my entire oeuvre.

[Anonymous No.16822167]

are vn authors welcome here?

[Anonymous No.16822168]

>>16822159
based and draftpilled

[Anonymous No.16822172]

>>16822167
no, go to oelvn on /vg/

[Anonymous No.16822178]

>>16822144
Yes, I mentioned that as an easy to understand example of how these scenes are used to move the narrative, because I imagine most people here have seen a show or two like that. I'm not sure how "this isn't what I want to do myself" became "this is what I want to do" along the way. It was only an example.

[Anonymous No.16822179]

>>16822167
>>16822172
take this faggot with you and enjoy your "real literature"
>>16821139

[Anonymous No.16822182]

>>16822159
>it stayed in my drawer forever

[Anonymous No.16822205]

>>16822179
Fag

[Anonymous No.16822212]

>>16822178
Because you seem to be missing the actual content that usually goes into a non anime story. In a light novel, the main character can stumble onto a girl bathing and they suddenly have a connection because seventeen more coincidences bring them together and they have plot logic giving them reasons to like each other, even if the logic isn't there. A non anime story develops the relationship, not through one event, but through a natural friendship which escalates. There isn't a single point which brings them together and makes them intimate, it is the job of the author to slowly introduce the characters and make their burgeoning friendship relatable. They get to know each other over days and weeks in their classes, they have mutual friends which they meet one another through, or they work at the same part-time job. To rely on a single event in a movie/tv/anime crutch, but if you need them, just watch the first episode of high school dramas, any mundane daily incident can bring two people together.

[Anonymous No.16822237]

>>16822212
Ask me how I know that you've never read YA

[Anonymous No.16822245]

>>16810449
I only started reading recently because I have Autism and ADHD, henceforth I need to manually draw what I read; but that's besides the point. Would you mind telling me whether or not there's anything worthwhile down there, friend?

https://ia801901.us.archive.org/27/items/complete-works-5.37-pm/Complete%20works%205.37PM.pdf
https://ia801901.us.archive.org/27/items/complete-works-5.37-pm/Complete%20works%20II%203.00PM.pdf
https://ia601901.us.archive.org/27/items/complete-works-5.37-pm/III.%20Mongol.pdf
https://ia601901.us.archive.org/27/items/complete-works-5.37-pm/IV.%20Shiel.pdf

[Anonymous No.16822248]

>>16818509
No worries. Hope you're not disheartened, it does get way easier. I had a lot of the same issues as you in my writing when I first started. I was about 40k words into my first novel when I finally got over those habits but it took someone reading my work every night and pointing it out for me to change.

[Anonymous No.16822255]

>>16822212
At last, you're able to explain what you're actually thinking.
>not through one event, but through a natural friendship which escalates
Of course, yes.
>There isn't a single point which brings them together and makes them intimate
That was never the goal at all, you misunderstand me. What is needed is the reason for them to interact in the first place. A reason why two very different people would step outside their respective circles and recognize the other's existence for the first time. You can sit next to someone in class for three years and not remember their name. That's not how you make friends. There needs to be something more meaningful to start the development. Are we now on the same page?

[Anonymous No.16822289]

>>16822237
I love YA, actually. I love anime too, but YA is leagues above in terms of realistic relationship development. I'll admit that self-published YA is as bad as LNs are though.

>>16822255
Yes, but I guess now I don't know why you came here to ask that without any further details. The ideal would be to look at their personalities and decide what suits them, so without knowing anything about the characters, the only responses could be generic and probably not helpful.

[Anonymous No.16822341]

>>16822167
I'm a successful VN writer who writes LNs for a hobby.
ama

[Anonymous No.16822375]

>>16822289
I felt creating a unique situation for the characters was a bit too idealized solution again. Reality doesn't play favorites. Could there be such a lucky mix of conditions that involves exactly these two people and no one else? It wouldn't have to be anything too special, but anything on the scale of drama between picking up a fallen eraser and a terrorist bombing.

[Anonymous No.16822390]

>>16822341
If you have no audience is it worth continuing the story?

[Anonymous No.16822406]

>>16822390
Of course, I show my LNs to only one friend. Isn't it fun to create your own stories?
Ask yourself: why do you write?

And even if you do it because you want someone to read it, before that you need to write dumb things for yourself and get better.

Just write, friend!

[Anonymous No.16822426]

>>16822406
I want to read anon's shitty LNs!
I'll link you my shitty ongoing web novel if you share your LNs with me, anon!

[Anonymous No.16822441]

>>16822406
Yeah, but it can be very disheartening for me.
Sometimes I just want to get it over and just read instead of write.

[Anonymous No.16822468]

>read light novels all the time
>decide to write one
>send your novel to a publisher you have experience with
>he says it's fun, interesting and easy to read, but too simple nd they're not looking for something like this
>send it to other publishers, no reply

My shithole country doesn't accept anything other than serious hard retarded literature with details and overcomplicated things.
The fuck am I supposed to do?

[Anonymous No.16822507]

>>16822468
Self-publish, anon. Check the OP for the amazon publishing guide. You'll make more money per book, just need to commission a nice cover and then do some advertising. I don't know why you'd go to a traditional publisher for a LN.

[Anonymous No.16822511]

>>16822468
I heard that Mr. Bezos has a publishing company

[Anonymous No.16822581]

>>16822375
I dunno. You said earlier that a shared assignment is too boring and a living in a shared dorm is too convenient, so I'm not sure what to recommend. I'd say do something natural for the characters. If they're in different clubs, have the clubs interact. If they're neighbors, have them finally forced to meet one another awkwardly. If one of them is shy, they can have a normal interaction but that person takes it as being more because they have no friends and it meant more to them.

[Anonymous No.16822661]

If I want to start writing in English but all I know is how to communicate and shitpost on 4chan, should I write it in my language and then translate or just start with English?

[Anonymous No.16822862]

>>16822661
Just start with English, struggling is going to make it easier over time

[Anonymous No.16822938]

>>16822581
Good suggestions, thanks for taking the time to think about it. Working on an assignment together might not be a bad idea, by itself. But solving the question of how they meet then opens the question of what is the assignment about, technically. But that might still be easier to approach.

[Anonymous No.16823031]

>>16810568

Not really. Most "professional" writers these days make novice mistakes all the time.

Like, I would say it's not a good idea to introduce 7 different characters within the first paragraph (and a short paragraph at that), but I just saw a pretty big name writer do it in a big magazine.

So...fuck standards, rules, and even "good" writing seems to be the norm these days.

[Anonymous No.16823045]

IF I AM REBORN AND COME TO MEET YOU

[Anonymous No.16823084]

bros I love good romance so much
when two people are fucked up broken
when they become absolutely loyal and depend on each other at all times
when they face the whole world alone

This feels so goddamn good to read

[Anonymous No.16823102]

>>16810449
I got some good critique in another thread, but I’d greatly appreciate anyone who’d review a couple of these poems!

Here’s a google drive link:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-YrbU_ih6uWstF-RfM8xp6T8PFrmIixm?usp=sharing

[Anonymous No.16823118]

>>16810568
Scenes without tension, prioritizing plot over character drama (plot is just a platform for character struggle), starting and ending a chapter. That said, keep in mind that traditionally published books go through major revisions. The agent gives editing notes, to polish the manuscript before sending it to a publisher. Then the publisher may ask for a different ending, a chapter to be cut or added, add a subplot, re-write the whole thing in a different tense, and so on, on top of syntax, copy editing changes, re-writing specific scenes.

Publishers and agents want to see a unique and compelling "voice" (their term for it) in the writing above all else! Basically, an idiosyncratic writing style with good flow. Next, you need a main character with a clear goal/motivation. Last, they really want fresh concepts/plots that are also marketable (novelty). Broadly speaking.

So, don't think your manuscript has to be as clean and structured as what you find in a book store. Some novels require minimal editing before publication, but that's not required or expected.

[Anonymous No.16823165]

>>16823118
many great authors of the past used copywork to develop a distinct style.

How would I incorporate this exercise into my daily routine?

[Anonymous No.16823176]

>Submit to some big shot journals over Summer
>2 rejections, waiting on the rest
>Read over the short story again
>So many little things that could be improved
>Streamline, knock off a thousand words of what seems now like filler, and re-submit to another bunch
>Given up hope on the first batch of submissions

What are the odds I'll look again in the new year and find even more mistakes, while collecting even more rejections? Damn bros.

[Anonymous No.16823182]

>>16823165
https://www.typelit.io/

[Anonymous No.16823220]

>>16823176
Rejections are commonplace. Start with random small publishers, get some stories published, then when you submit your stories with a brief bio, you can say you have other stories published which will make them take things more seriously when they're reading.
Also, you never stop finding mistakes. I can't look at the text of my first published books because I've changed so much and would rewrite half of the sentences in them if I could. A work is never really finished, you just decide not to work on it anymore.

[Anonymous No.16823232]

>>16823084
I would read something like that

[Anonymous No.16823238]

>>16823084
I dislike romance because it's nothing like what you described. What are some stories like that?

[Anonymous No.16823242]

>>16823176
app?

[Anonymous No.16823248]

>>16823084
cringe

[Anonymous No.16823397]

>>16823242
Submittable

[Anonymous No.16823411]

>>16820034
>>16820066
>>16820101
I'm already doing the writing thing, pretty steadily too. My problem is that I feel I won't know if it's good or not or it'll just be shit by virtue of having read so little.

[Anonymous No.16823481]

>>16810449
>Have to write a script with my college class on google docs
>Crippling anxiety over group chats makes me nervous but I try ignore it
>Only have one scene I need to write the description on
>Realise I'm making it too long, but it only really looks that way because I like describing things a lot and there's a lot happening in it.
>Plus I hadn't wrote anything in a while and was getting into it.
>Get a sarcastic comment calling me by my last name asking if this can really be done with the stuff we've got (it's for a play)
>Different guy starts shitting on the description
>Realise they're all on a call in our College page, definitely shitting on it too.
>"ok"
>Erase it, shit out a sentence that sums it up
>"better?".
>Everyone's names are hovering over it. Don't get a reply.

I was trying to make it pretty personal and about mental health as well so it was even more embarrasing getting shit on

[Anonymous No.16823491]

>>16821126
>Wordlet

[Anonymous No.16823500]

>>16823481
It's fine, anon. College kids are retarded. Don't care about what they think. Don't assume their intention.

[Anonymous No.16823512]

>>16822100
You're insecure and your brain has been melted from a lifetime of gook cartoons
Don't write a lesbian romance when you're an autistic loser who has probably never seen a vagina

[Anonymous No.16823530]

>>16823481
Don't worry about some retards. You are better than that.

[Anonymous No.16823598]

NSC stands for New Sino University, for context.

I should take uncharacteristic care to note the arrival of two new pairs of hands to the firm, freshly minted from the conterfeit yuan-press that is the NSC. One was much taller than the other. I would estimate he had at least 4 inches on my generally mediocre height of 5'10" while maintaining a strikingly thin posture, almost "malnourished" if one had the misfortune of delivering a physical diagonosis to that fish burnt body. The other was a woman, the polar opposite of the male species; she was at least a foot shorter than me, while her width reminded me of an overinflated beach ball or whatever other plastic toy some poor shore adjacent animal would invariably choke on before being served as an entree by and to her people. Their appearance may have come as a surprise to someone less astute than me, but if I'm not taking an excessively long shit in the bathrooms, I'm looking at the index. Anything to avoid lining Parker's pockets any more than the bare minimum to keep the lights on. Like clockwork, any time Big C* was experiencing some "economic instability" as a result of some stick being shook at them across the ocean, some plump, fresh-off-the-boat 20-something year olds that had more shell accounts with their names attached than coherent syllables they could put together would invariably show up to suckle on the tit of the home of all outcast Orients, the NSC. 2 years and a couple of wire transfers later, they were ready to make their own path in the world, armed with the independence that came from that cream sheet of paper that costed less to print than the fax I got from Brian this morning. Dispersing like rats found feasting on the corpse of a dead city mammal in an alley, they took their contacts and moved to snuggle as quickly as they could to any business that's hiring. At least, that is until they've collected enough paychecks for their "extra income" to make some semblance of sense the accounting netherworld. Then they were quickly as they came, leaving nothing but memories and odd stains around their temporarily occupied desk space. 6 weeks later, the egg hatches again.


*(That's the name WaPo ran with on their latest headline, probably because some jackass getting either paid way too much or way too little thought to himself and his equally over/underpaid colleague "We're not *directly* pissing off Taiwan right?". Of course, any rational person's response to this reasoning would be "Who gives a FUCK about Taiwan?", but you have to remember WaPo got recently bought out by none other than the recently coronated Tsung-han Li. No biting the hand this week, eh? I find it quite funny.)

[Anonymous No.16823631]

>>16823598
Fuck, that should be
>some semblance of sense the in the accounting netherworld. Then they were gone as quickly as they came, leaving nothing but memories and odd stains around their temporarily occupied desk space
my bad I'm running on no sleep

[Anonymous No.16823663]

>>16823512
Nice slur, faggot, but I repeatedly said it's not romance. Now go flush yourself down the toilet, you pathetic turd.

[Anonymous No.16823771]

>>16823663
You can't stop lying you histrionic little loser, if you want to write shit go ahead, just go to /a/

[Anonymous No.16823782]

>>16823771
I see you love abuse. Maybe you'll get more from your dad tonight, but I'm all out.

[Anonymous No.16823813]

>>16823782
I'm sorry you have a faggy little idea dude, this just isn't the right place for it
And why the fuck would a spazzy loser be able to write about two women when all he can think about in reference to his story is anime?

[Anonymous No.16823868]

>>16822468
What country? You'd think there would be a market for simple reads.

>>16818844
>404

[Anonymous No.16823964]

>>16823868
>What country? You'd think there would be a market for simple reads.
Poland

[Anonymous No.16824069]

>>16823598
Can you greentext the plot synopsis for this? We may have accidentally written the same story..

[Anonymous No.16824101]

>>16824069
No plot synopsis, I was just thinking about something to write and just went with the idea of
>dissatisfied office worker in the near-future hates Chinese people coming to his work
I wrote it as if it was taking part of a larger story, but it's just this.

[Anonymous No.16824358]

>>16821751
I like this. Would like more if you got it.

[Anonymous No.16824382]

Take the Borges pill, write less and start reading more, reading is much more important that writing, only fags feel the necessity to express their emotions through poetry; so unless you work as a writer, just read a book dumb nigga.

[Anonymous No.16824432]

Do you also feel very energetic and excited before your weekend writing sessions?
I talk to myself
>I'M WRITING I'M FUCKING WRITING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M WRIIIIITIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
and dance around.

[Anonymous No.16824446]

>>16824432
Sometimes I reread a sentence I just committed to paper and get a very slight, yet noticeable erection. I may treat it the same as an overcooked corpse the next day, but it sure feels good in the moment.

[Anonymous No.16824448]

Alright I'm trying to learn how to write in English. My mother-tongue is German so it's a bit tough, everything feels stilted and awkward. Here's my first attempt.

https://pastebin.com/ZPy7VLqv

[Anonymous No.16824463]

>>16822248
Not at all man, I can't stress enough how much I appreciate any feedback I can get my hands on. Not really been doing this long - this is one of three 'chapter 1s' that I've written over lockdown - so I'm not really sure how to learn/get good feedback yet.

[Anonymous No.16824479]

>>16824448
I'm also trying to learn English because even if I can publish my book easily in this small pond of my language, there's no market anyway and I can't write full-time no matter what.
It's hard, it's not like posting here or reading random English books. My vocabulary is still shit.

Good luck to you bro, we're gonna need it. Und ich bin kein Deutscher, aber ich habe Deutsch gelernt, also auf Deutsch: Viel Glück, Freund.

[Roy No.16824484]

I’m around again, and I’ll just check in now and again while the threads up. Maybe.

Industry professional etc etc. If you’ve got questions I’ll probably have answers.

[Anonymous No.16824515]

>>16824484
biggest mistake you see way too often?

[Anonymous No.16824532]

>>16824479
Vielen Dank, mein Freund. Best of luck to you as well. Did you share any of your writing in this thread?

[Anonymous No.16824536]

>>16824484
how do I promise the reader with my beginning that my story will be fucking cool and he shouldn't drop it?

[Anonymous No.16824541]

>>16824484
What country? US?

[Anonymous No.16824585]

>>16824536
Not him but just focus on making good literature, don't try to sell dopamine.

[Anonymous No.16824598]

>>16824532
Not yet, I'll try to share something in a few days when I'll time to write something fun.
Normalerweise schreibe ich Romantik/Fantasy. In letzter Zeit habe ich auch Kurzgeschichten für Zeitschriften veröffentlicht, aber ohne Englisch ich sehe keine Zukunft.
But there are some successful non-native English writers. We will make it. It'll take some time but with every new story, the vocabulary and your English style gets better.

[Roy No.16824606]

>>16824515
From amateurs and hobbyists it’s the fact that they want to go professional. A lot of people have built up in their heads that writing is this great career/great way to make money. Or they romanticize the entire process. Neither are true. It’s often better to enjoy writing as a hobby and as something fun to do, rather than forcing yourself into an industry that is already over saturated as is. Plus to work in the industry, you have to be passionate not only of writing, but of reading as well. This isn’t to discourage anyone by the way, but merely to get you to think/rethink what your doing before you throw away the perks of the life you already have.

>>16824536
Start us somewhere interesting. You don’t have to slowly wind us into a story every single time. Sometimes it’s best to be in the middle of something to bring an audience in. Simple hooks can work well too, depending on perspective and how you are telling the story.
Also keep in mind, most people read a book based off the front and back covers. So don’t worry too much about, but also dont’t be lazy about it.

>>16824541
I’m a Canuck, but we’ve learned about the US publishing industry because it’s tied closely to ours. (Along with the U.K)

[Anonymous No.16824649]

>>16824484
How do you converge multiple plots and sub-plots without them feeling rushed, slow, or forgotten?

[Anonymous No.16824651]

>>16824606
based canuck, pls read my stupid story and tell me what I can improve upon >>16824448

[Anonymous No.16824657]

>>16824649
And one more
How do you develop characters; heroes, villains, heroes failing to villains etc. off camera so that it's a surprise and it's cool?

[Anonymous No.16824701]

>>16810967
you've done enough, id tone down the formality on the last paragraph (nix the "I daresay" bit, 'it is of value' rather than 'would be'), and kill 'incessantly, seemingly, and sorely' as they add nothing and kill the flow of your sentences. in the future, write more definitively, with less adverbial equivocation.

[Anonymous No.16824713]

>>16824606
How different is it between US and UK?

[Anonymous No.16824717]

>>16810967
>Required (250-650 words): At the XXXXX, no two students are alike. We value difference and support equity and inclusion of all students and their many intersecting identities. Pick one of your unique identities and describe its significance.
Fucking propaganda.

[Anonymous No.16824743]

>>16810967
I am a NIGGER.
I drink steel reserve and play rap music too loud.
My entire life has been paid for by white tax dollars, but you need to do more.

[Roy No.16824903]

>>16824649
Depends on the story in all honesty. Different stories require different methods, and different authors tell these plotlines in different ways. But in general, main plotlines are to be focused on most, and should have the most time fitted to them. If you have multiple big plotlines, have the story split between them, with equal time spent on both. Subplots are built either within big plotlines, or separately.

As an example, a heist plotline. The main heist is focused on, so the gathering of materials, the planning of the heist, the choosing of people, etc etc are all focused on. While this is going on, the group is sniffing out a rat, which the he sub plotline. Throughout the main plot, they always touch upon the subplot. So when they gather materials, maybe the two highest ranking members discuss who they think the rat is. When they formulate the plan, they tell each member a different version of it, with only their part in it being true, in order to sniff out the rat. Etc etc. You can also have a subplot run as it’s own story. So the main plot runs, then we shift to a sub plot, then to the main plot, then shift to the subplot, etc.

The final thing I say is try and keep it natural. Insert the subplot where you think it fits. Keep the main plot rolling as you feel it should. Tie it in when it naturally crashes into one another. Etc.

>>16824657
Doing that in its own right is hard enough. Developing characters often needs to be shown to the audience through scene, dialogue, action etc. Not showing it can cause a disconnect with the audience and cause your characters to feel flat, or for their transformations to feel unearned. So doing it off camera is even harder.

That being said, two general things to stick to are simple. Have reasonable doubt with characters, an have unseen plot points that only you know.

For reasonable doubt, it should make sense for a character to go do something and come back changed. So we have a hero who is sent off to war, only to come back a villain. It’s reasonable to assume that he would come back a villain based on what he went through/saw. It would not be reasonable however, if he was sent home and was retired for a year, only to come back a rabid villain.

Then have plot points only you know. Have the entire story as to how he fell into a villains role. Maybe he went to war, was confident at first, but then saw the atrocities he and the people around him committed. Then maybe he was left to die by his comrades, only to be nursed back to health by a local. He falls in live with a local. He starts a new life. She is killed the people he once knew. They realize who he is and drag him back, decorating him as a hero who survived the enemy type shit. This turns him into a villain. You don’t have to tell the audience any of this, but you should know it by heart. And if it becomes relevant in the story, you tease these out bit by bit.

Hope it helps.

[Roy No.16824929]

>>16824713
US has the most publishing power atm with the big five. If it gets big the in the US, it will get big ANYWHERE. UK has less publishing power, but is still a giant. If they become big, they become big anywhere that speaks English usually. Canada is constantly bullied by these two giants.

US also has less focus on diversity atm, and UK has upped it a bit, both in part because heir demographic has changed and because they are more naturally progressive.

[Anonymous No.16824985]

>>16824929
How about in terms of submitting? It seems to me like the US has higher focus on the 'pitch' style query whereas agents in the UK seem a little more standardised/formal.

[Roy No.16825042]

>>16824985
Regardless of where you go, you’ll probably need an agent. And keep in mind different publishers have different ways of accepting/expecting pitches.

But the reason why the US has that pitch style query is because of the big five. They get submitted to so much that they don’t even really pay attention to submissions that aren’t brought forward by an agent. And of course agents are going to give a pitch because it’s quick, and because it’s in person (pre-COVID) which would help your chances of getting in.

UK I assume it’s because they are British, and formality is something to be chased. I have no clue otherwise sorry.

[Anonymous No.16825056]

Anybody got strong preferences on writing software? I know that there's an article about it in OP, but I'm interested to hear from you anons. I'm happy to indulge in anything that'll improve the writing experience outside of software, too.

[Roy No.16825098]

>>16825056
Word. I’m too lazy to use anything else

[Anonymous No.16825118]

>>16825056
FocusWriter

[Anonymous No.16825137]

>>16825056
Word in focus mode with spelling/grammar check turned off.

[Anonymous No.16825147]

>>16825042
How do you go about getting an agent?

[Anonymous No.16825159]

>>16825056
Scrivener

[Anonymous No.16825212]

>>16824743
ressentiment. you make the image of this alpha in your head and even then you're cucked by it.

[Roy No.16825222]

>>16825147
Once you’ve got your book, and you feel like it’s well written you go and try to find a good literary agent. Don’t be afraid to shop around for one, as you want one that fits you.

First impressions are big in the publishing industry, especially when it comes to first books. So you want to be able to find a good agent that will help you get a good first impression. You can look at metrics and stuff to see who’s best, but in general, you want to find someone who is as passionate abour book as your are. You want them to be excited about it, and to enjoy reading what you’ve given them. That way they will work their hardest at at getting it published, and you won’t be scammed.

[Anonymous No.16825287]

>>16825222
What can you expect from an agent other than the standard 'pitching your book to publishers'?

[Anonymous No.16825305]

>>16825056
Scrivener. The export function is 10/10 and it's foolish not to use it solely for that function. It's filled with nearly every feature for planning and outlining a novel, but I only really use it to write and export. Still worth every pirate, but if my copy stopped working, I would definitely pay for it.

[Anonymous No.16825313]

>>16825222
Do you have any proof whatsoever that you aren't a LARP? No offence but most of the advice you give is easily found with a cursory Google search

[Anonymous No.16825328]

Hello /lit/
I never post in this board but I've started writing some short stories just for fun.
How do you get past that feeling where you want to write but there's like a weight on your chest forcing you to procrastinate?
cheers

[Anonymous No.16825337]

>>16825222
But how do you shop around for one? Do you just look them up and see what ones would probably dig your stuff? Are there sites for it?

[Anonymous No.16825373]

>>16825337
Not him but
>>16818575
I used querytracker. "Shopping around" for one is probably more a thing if you are a celebrity or have plenty of history to sell yourself on your cover letter. I had nothing, not even a published short story, so like most people, I sent out a query to almost 30 agents over the course of a year before someone responded.

[Anonymous No.16825514]

>>16825373
How did you pick the 30 that you sent it to? Just googled literary agents and sent it to everyone?

[Anonymous No.16825531]

>>16825328
>there's like a weight on your chest forcing you to procrastinate
procrastinating is a choice you make, there's no force

[Anonymous No.16825570]

>>16824101
>dissatisfied safari ranger in the near-future hates Chinese people coming to his work
This is my story but I'd be interested to read yours

[Anonymous No.16825596]

>>16825514
I used querytracker. Browsed agents/agencies that were part of the AAR and also published books that sounded similar to my own. Some were just chosen because they were looking for the same genre though and I figured why the hell not.

[Anonymous No.16825631]

>>16825531
Sorry I guess my question would be: how do you guys motivate yourselves?

[Anonymous No.16825736]

I could really use some excoriating critiques on my intro
(1/2)
Winter came early on a dreary October morning. I remember watching the snowflakes drift, glinting as they fell, tottering to and fro in the wind. The sun's brilliant impression sat low on the cloudy horizon, and its ocherous rays bled through the cracked overcast. The skyscrapers looked featureless and shadowy in the twilight. Snow dusted the streets and the rooftops below me. Across the street, I saw Autocars shored up along the curb where commuters stood waiting. The car door opened and unfurled like a pigeon's wing, stretching up and out, and the people climbed inside. The Autocars had long, rounded bodies and pearlescent paint. Their slender headlight eyes, snout-like front-bumper and the jaw of their skirt came together to form a dragon's face.
"Good Morning, Michael," said the voice in my head. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window.
"The time is 5:04 am. It is an overcast day. It is minus 2 degrees with a slight wind chill - be sure to dress warmly. Your coffee is ready for you. Have a good day."
I made my way to the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. After that, I aimlessly paced around my apartment. My apartment, Stratford Manor, was one of the newer ones, part of a revitalization program in the downtown core. Its interior was sleek, polished, purely synthetic. Almost every inch of it was plastic renditions of raw materials: faux wood tables, ivory white countertops, and appliances coated in silver paint. Cleaning staff sanitized the apartment every Sunday, which left the room with a sheen that smelt of alcohol and lemon. The turnover in these places is huge, so they keep them ready for an abrupt move. It was not uncommon for somebody to take up a room here for no more than a month before disappearing without a word. My three previous neighbours had done this, and I never had a meaningful conversation with any of them before they vanished. Any evidence anyone had even lived there was scrubbed away. You never get close to anybody at Stratford; you assume they will be moving on quickly and quietly, hopping into another pretentiously named suite across town. Most everybody at Stratford was single, except for a handful of struggling families.

[Anonymous No.16825765]

>>16825736
(2/2)
"Judith, tell me the news."
"Sure thing, Michael. Unveiling the new Neuralink model at a private conference in November; would you like to hear more?"
"Yes"
"Okay. Investors received invitations to a private conference where the Neuralace Next will make its debut. Speculators believe this new model will be the next frontier of AI-human integration.
"Stop, next story."
"Okay. Homelessness crisis imminent, as thousands of unhoused persons fill the streets. Companies are looking to increase security measures to curb squatting and loitering."
"Stop, no more news, please. Call me a cab."
"Okay, your autocab will be here in 6 minutes."
I made my way to the elevator. Once it arrived, a couple plowed out from between the doors and nearly bulldozed me. I got out of their way, but they didn't notice me. They were talking about the Neuralink Conference.
"It's going to be the next frontier, can you believe it? It's going to change everything!"
"I'm so excited."
Her tone betrayed her.

[Anonymous No.16825795]

>>16824463
Just keep practicing. And feel free to post anything else you do. Curious to see where that last scene is going. I'll be sure to give some feedback if I see you around.

[Anonymous No.16825814]

>>16825736
>>16825765
Cool for an intro I guess, but if you plan Neuralace to fuck things up then it's a bit too obvious.

[Anonymous No.16825835]

What music do you listen to while writing?

[Anonymous No.16825848]

>>16825814
It's just an element of the story. I am trying to write something akin to down and out in paris and London set in the future.

[Anonymous No.16825937]

has anyone done the rhino prompt?

[Anonymous No.16825972]

>>16825736
>excoriating critiques
Sure!
>tottering to and fro in the wind
Doesn't really work. Tottering isn't really a word you use for something blowing around and if something is in the wind, it doesn't really go to and fro, it goes in one direction.
>sun's brilliant impression
Impression just doesn't feel right. Consider "The sun's brilliance" by itself or some other word.
>ocherous rays
You are writing very short and simple sentences in a casual manner and then throwing in a word no one would say casually. That sort of thing makes it sound (to the reader) like you used a thesaurus to turn a natural sentence into an unnatural one.
>through the cracked overcast
Again, overcast is rarely ever used like that so it comes off as unnatural.
>skyscrapers looked featureless and shadowy in twilight
This sentence is bad all around. How can a skyscraper look featureless? It has one feature, and that is the walls you can see. If you can't see the walls, it has no features. The word "shadowy" is far too casual to be used in this manner, and the word twilight would imply the darkness anyway.
>across the street
Consider removing or changing the repetition of street, as it's still the first paragraph and repeated words are very noticeable when first starting a story.
>the car door opened
Shouldn't that be 'doors'? Or are you suddenly switching from description to first person perspective? If so, consider creating a new paragraph to imply that.
>Their slender...dragon's face.
I get what you're trying to do, but it doesn't work because I still don't know what an autocar is or what it looks like. All I long is that they're a long and round car and everything else muddles together into "poetic description which doesn't aid me."
>I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window
Okay, so that probably should've been car doors, because the sentences before and after were plural and there's no reason to randomly isolate one car for description.
>plastic renditions
Eh, there's probably a better phrase for this.
>smelt
Smelled*
>these places is huge
That 'is' should be 'was' because 'is' is present tense and everything else has been past tense. "The turnover in these types of places was huge."
>Any evidence anyone
Consider changing that 'any' repetition.

>>16825765
>Okay, your autocab
Make that comma a period to line up with the others above it.
>plowed out ... nearly bulldozed me
One metaphor is enough to get the point across, consider dropping either of them.
>Her tone betrayed her.
This would imply they are both not excited at all, but they're still choosing to act excited? So they're knowingly lying about their excitement instead of being truthful, which is an odd decision unless this is a 1984 society.

Overall bretty gud so far.

[Anonymous No.16825993]

>wanted to write a shit isekai story for fun
>no idea how to begin to make it more interesting
ah shit

[Anonymous No.16826021]

>>16825287
They know editors and so which publishers are likely to be interested. They know the market and so what is a reasonable advance. They will help polish the manuscript before submitting to the publisher. They know industry trends and how to get write for pay gigs and will help build your career. If they believe in you.

[Anonymous No.16826035]

>>16826021
And who would commit themselves to someone like us?

[Anonymous No.16826036]

>>16825993
A guy iseakis as God's middle manager, he has omnipotence but if he fucks up Gods fires him.
Can be set IRL or fantasy world

[Anonymous No.16826057]

>>16825993
>always take my stories way too seriously
>decide to write a really shitty web novel for fun
>really enjoy things, write 3k words a day because i can write whatever i want
>somewhere around the 60k mark i started to care about the story
>140k words in and i rarely write it anymore, not because i don't enjoy it, but because it now has the same "its probably shit why bother" sentiment in my head as other stories
Don't let this happen to you, anon. Keep it fun. If you start taking it seriously, throw a twist in it to make it silly again.

[Anonymous No.16826104]

>>16826035
Not sure what you mean. They care about two things: Can I sell this book / will this book earn money? Is the author reasonable to work with and without controversy? The manuscript is king. They don't give a fuck who you are, as long as you aren't going to be extremely annoying or cause trouble for them or the publisher.

[Anonymous No.16826141]

THIRD OMNISCIENT OR FIRST PERSON?

[Anonymous No.16826148]

>>16826104
I have to add that, because of current cultural dynamics, publicly supporting Trump (on easily searched social media, for example) will cause many agents (and possibly publishers) to reject. A major agent recently posted on their blog that they would not represent a Trump supporter. I believe a significant number of agents, although probably not the majority, are the same way.

[Anonymous No.16826188]

>>16826148
would you really want to give your work to people who cares about what you post on social media anyway?

[Anonymous No.16826203]

>>16826148
Hmm. I happen to be a Trump supporter and have 5 books out. Any way I can swing this in my favor?

[Anonymous No.16826219]

>>16826188
Liberals unfortunately don't view it that way. You either agree with them on all political issues, or they view you as bad as Satan.

[Anonymous No.16826234]

>>16826203
If you have 5 books out with a real publisher (your books are in book stores) then you almost certainly know more about the industry than I do.

>>16826188
They care about your public profile no matter what. Do what you want, it's just a heads up.

[Anonymous No.16826236]

>>16826148
what the fuck is wrong with americans

[Anonymous No.16826247]

>>16825631
Weekly deadlines, particularly if you do web serials.

>>16825835
Melodramatic stuff, usually anime ones or actiony things.

[Anonymous No.16826250]

>>16825972
It doesn't sound pretty gud, man. It sounds like I'm fucking up hard.

[Anonymous No.16826251]

>>16826236
I wonder, do ESL authors get books in English published by local publishers? Or do they need to ask British/American publisher?

[Anonymous No.16826268]

>>16825972
Do you think it's a better idea to toss the whole draft and start over?

[Anonymous No.16826277]

>>16826234
I'm new to all of this. My 5 books are only on Amazon.

[Anonymous No.16826291]

>>16826277
>>16826148
Give it to me straight bros, how hard is it to pursue a career in writing?
How much money/notoriety does one published book get you? Is it like your first youtube video where you'll get 50 views and it will suck?

[Anonymous No.16826305]

>>16826250
>>16826268
No, it's good. Besides the first paragraph, everything else is simple editing tweaks. Redoing the first paragraph might not be a bad thing, but it's just a few sentences anyway. Overall it's good.

[Anonymous No.16826313]

>>16825972
And final question, does this draft have any potential as it is?

[Anonymous No.16826328]

>>16826305
You know, it's funny. Everything you told me was unnatural and stilted was stuff I added before posting here because I felt I was lacking something. I think I just got (way) too purple with my prose, and lost sight of what's important.

[Anonymous No.16826341]

I'm so fucking shit
Why am I shit

[Anonymous No.16826362]

>>16826313
I don't know, anon, it's only like 500 words or so. Even if it was bad, it's nothing to worry too much about, but without reading anything else, it's hard to get much more of an impression.

>>16826328
Good, that means you're doing what you're supposed to naturally.

[Anonymous No.16826363]

>>16826341
I feel like this everyday of my life, and I keep writing anyway, even when it hurts. At least you don't delude yourself into thinking you're an incredible writer. If you ever feel bad about your writing, pick up a John Greene book and remember the bars not that high

[Anonymous No.16826473]

>>16826291
I'm not sure what you qualify as a career. Your questions are too broad. One published book can earn enough to live on for a day, a month, a year, or five years. It all depends. I think a better perspective is one where you develop a literary style that you respect, write a badass book, and earn some money and fame from it. But don't covet it too much and move on quickly. You want to be a good writer who is admired by writers you respect. Some people will hate your work. There's no escaping that. It's fine.

Now, you can be mercenary about it and aim for a specific high-profit genre, and all that, but it's not what I recommend, because I think the vast majority of successful people in those niches genuinely enjoy them, and it really sucks to, one, publicly pretend you enjoy the genre, and two, craft a work that you think is trash and also have to promote as if it's good.

[Anonymous No.16826509]

What does it say about me that I like writing but I almost never read?

[Anonymous No.16826535]

>>16826509
That you read shitty books.
Find something fun.

[Anonymous No.16826576]

>>16826535
problem is that paperback books are somewhat expensive (I'd have to get them from amazon in covid time and I don't really want to spend 30 euros for like a month of reading material) while reading PDFs or whatever on the computer is distracting for some reason.
I can do audiobooks just fine though, although I usually keep them in the background while I do something else which probably doesn't count as reading.

[Anonymous No.16826584]

>>16826576
Pirate books and read them on your phone. It's like a paperback book, phone won't distract you so much. I read always on my phone.

[Anonymous No.16826718]

>>16826291
>career in writing
Don't look at it as a career. Look at it as a hobby. Enjoy it and if you're lucky, plenty of people will read the stories you write. You'll also get a bit of money, but if that's one of the reasons you want to write, you're in the wrong field. The most successful writers I know (personally) still have a day job.

[Anonymous No.16826746]

>>16826509
That the stories you write have poor pacing, grammar, and generally read like movie scripts.

[Anonymous No.16826756]

>>16810449
any good books on writing an essay?