/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.1665278]

>he opens the novel with a description of the setting

[Anonymous No.1665281]

>It was a dark and stormy night

[No.1665283]

>he's trying to write a novel in an 'original' way

[Anonymous No.1665288]

>he claims /lit/ is a safe for work board even though there are ads with big rubber tits in them on the bottom of the page

>implying 4chan safe for work

>implying 4chan safe to show anybody over age 30, much less coworkers/boss

[Anonymous No.1665296]

>Refers to main character as 'he' or 'she' in the opening sentence

[No.1665304]

>>1665288
>implying im not 40

[Anonymous No.1665308]

>autonomous body parts
>"Her eyes fell to the plate."
>oh, did she get sauce all over 'em?

>needless adjectives and adverbs

>writers that think they're witty

[Anonymous No.1665310]

>the author inserts verbal pauses into dialogue in an attempt to make characters more "real"

[Anonymous No.1665311]

>obvious self insert

[Anonymous No.1665315]

>>1665310
oh man I love hyperbole and a half

[Anonymous No.1665319]

>characters "interrupting" each other because the writer can't think of how to end sentences of dialogue

[Anonymous No.1665325]

>"writers" who use the word "azure" instead of "blue"
>exposition in the first paragraph
>characters who don't have a clear motive by the end of: the first page (if it's a short story) / the first chapter (if it's a novel)
>main characters who don't change
>main characters I can't sympathize with
>main characters who are constantly dour and never crack jokes

[Anonymous No.1665326]

>>1665315

inorite

[Anonymous No.1665327]

Maybe its just me but I hate when a character blushes in a book. Blushing is almost never noticeable in real life.

[Anonymous No.1665330]

>"He opened his mouth, then closed it."

WHO DOES THIS YOU FUCKING AMATEUR HACK

[Anonymous No.1665332]

>>1665327
Or characters who get pale with fear. Never seen someone get suddenly pale. Fuck writers who treat their characters like goddamn cartoons.

[Anonymous No.1665334]

>>1665327
This.

Also maybe it's just me, but I hate it when the protagonist never takes a shit, or loses his wallet, or stutters (except when a female is seen on the horizon)

[Anonymous No.1665335]

>throwing up or fainting after something shocking happens

I'm sure it DOES happen in real life, but is it really so common? Never happened to me and I've never seen it.

[Anonymous No.1665338]

>>1665330

I actually have seen people do that.

[Anonymous No.1665339]

>all the hairs on the back of his neck stood up

What the fuck does that even MEAN? I NEVER notice that.

[Anonymous No.1665340]

>>1665334
>I hate it when the protagonist never takes a shit

So, what, Dostoevsky should have put a few diarrhea scenes in Crime and Punishment?

[Anonymous No.1665341]

>>1665338
Be that as it may, it's painfully cliche.

[Anonymous No.1665345]

>>1665340
yes

Raskolnikov was sick for a while and didn't eat well, he probably had diarrhea.

[Anonymous No.1665346]

A big pet peeve of mine is when you're reading about a female character, usually a younger one and she always has guys chasing after her, and she thinks it's really annoying or she's depressed. Like she has a perfect life and gets great grades but is depressed. I understand there are good reasons for a person like this to be upset, but usually the author doesnt explain it to well.

Also, do most girls really get that much attention from boys? I know boys stare, but its not like boys are constantly hitting on girls all the time, right? maybe its an american thing

[Anonymous No.1665349]

>>1665334
There's a scene in Cormac McCarthy's Child of God where the main guy takes a crap

[Anonymous No.1665354]

>male writers who can't write female characters, so their stories are always sausagefests

[Anonymous No.1665355]

>he was sure that he could hear the beating of his heart

what the fuuuuck nobody can hear that shit

[Anonymous No.1665356]

>his stomach growled in hunger

that NEVER happens to me. my stomach growls sometimes but usually because theres too much gas there. immediately takes me out of the story

[Anonymous No.1665360]

>writing a novel before you're 25

[Anonymous No.1665361]

>>1665354

I have noticed that female authors are much better at writing realistic male characters than vice versa. Don't really know why, or maybe I just need to read more.

[Anonymous No.1665362]

>>1665335

boring life detected

[Anonymous No.1665363]

>>1665346
When I was in high school it was mostly the girls who were stalking guys they liked down the halls and giggled and stuff at them which did make them a bit uncomfortable.
But then again I'm not a Murrikan.

[Anonymous No.1665367]

>letters in the middle of a thrilling story

[Anonymous No.1665369]

>referring to a newspaper article as a "newspaper clipping"

seriously who the fuck does that anymore

[Anonymous No.1665375]

>>1665356

This is extremely possible. You've just never been all that hungry before.

[Anonymous No.1665372]

>a character is killed and the writer immediately jumps to the blood

There's nothing wrong with blood in a story, it's just too often the focus of a death scene.

>describing tears when a character cries

There are way better methods for describing sorrow than tears, believe me.

[Anonymous No.1665374]

>>1665308

>any adjectives and adverbs

ftfy

[Anonymous No.1665377]

>he said adverbially

[Anonymous No.1665380]

>>1665374
A story is shit without some.

[Anonymous No.1665383]

>>1665327

I couldn't agree more. That's probably my single biggest pet peeve, it almost always takes me out of the story a bit. Yes, people do blush in real life, but it's hardly noticeable at all, it's not something you usually pick out, and it's not like you blush every time you get nervous.

Even worse when it's used frequently in the same book and the author has to find new ways to describe it. "his cheeks turned a delicate shade of pink".

[Anonymous No.1665390]

i think its hilarious when i reading a story about high school and it has stuff like bullies and jocks....in high school today jocks are usually the nicest/smartest people as well. same with cheerleaders, most attractive/popular people usually get good grades...

[Anonymous No.1665392]

>>1665319

What do you mean? Interruption happens all the time in real life.

[Anonymous No.1665395]

>main characters have similar names (e.g. Dave & Dan)
>characters are described alternately by their name and nickname
>new chapter stars exactly where the last one left

[Anonymous No.1665403]

>any POV but 3rd person limited

[Anonymous No.1665404]

it always weirds me out when i read "he hoped that he couldn't see the whiteness of his knuckles"

so if you strain your hand really hard, it turns white, i know....but its never something im aware of really. it's always something that just makes me think "huh?" when i read it.

[Anonymous No.1665407]

>>1665392
>when people think stories are supposed to share a 1:1 correspondence with reality

[Anonymous No.1665408]

>characters winked 37 times in a novel

GOD FUCKING DAMN
It wasn't the only reason the book was complete shit, but it was by far the most annoying.

[Anonymous No.1665410]

>99.9% of all "comedy" writing

If you aren't laughing while typing it out, it probably sucks.

[Anonymous No.1665415]

>author outlines a character on their age and how they dress
>author spends 5 pages explaining the setting
>author doesn't explain the setting at all

[Anonymous No.1665421]

>>1665415
Oh, I hate when they describe what a character is wearing. If it's not important for the story, I don't care. It's almost like I'm reading an RPG character profile. Leave this to my imagination, please.

[Anonymous No.1665430]

>>1665408

This annoys me so much.

Also, characters shrugging far more than a normal person would, or hearing a dog barking in the distance. ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

[Anonymous No.1665445]

>Stereotypical characters

>Exactly the same as an older story, but with a new setting

>Author thinks he's witty and funny as hell

>Author makes a shitty joke

>Author makes his/her opinions too blatant

>Author makes the themes too blatant

>Author overdoes the description of a symbol once it's introduced

[Anonymous No.1665460]

>>1665360

Some of the best works of English literature were written before the author/poet was 25.

Seems so preposterous now, doesn't it?

[Anonymous No.1665472]

>bitches don't know about my inciting incident

[Anonymous No.1665480]

ITT:people who dont have lives worth writing about

[Anonymous No.1665483]

her eyes were like sapphires, deep blue, beautiful, yet after that comparison he could not help but think of plucking them out and wearing them

[Anonymous No.1665495]

>>1665421
I disagree with this one. Describing what a character is wearing is a useful tool for characterisation. Obviously you don't have to go into Tolkienesque detail, but it does anchor the characters in reality more.

[Anonymous No.1665499]

I open my novels/ short stories with philosophical questions, or statements.
So suck it.

[Anonymous No.1665529]

>>1665278

Lol, yeah, good one! It's not like John Updike, Saul Bellow, and F. Scott Fitzgerald haven't all done that!

[Anonymous No.1665543]

>>1665383
yea if someone is just blushing slightly it will usually go unnoticed.

On the other hand, I know some people whose ENTIRE HEAD will turn VERY BRIGHT RED when they are embarrassed.

[Anonymous No.1665556]

>>1665529

Yeah, actually I just read Rabbit, Run and the beginning does involve a description of the setting. Sorry OP.

[Stagolee, son of David !0Pey/QLK3E No.1665600]

>an ancient evil rises

[Anonymous No.1665628]

>>1665529
exactly

inb4 2deep4u, they're popular so they must be good! opinions stated as fact, etc.

protip: not everybody likes what you like

[Anonymous No.1665656]

>>1665499
>I open my novels/ short stories with philosophical questions
I put your shit back on the shelf.

[mcgregor No.1665680]

john updike's terrible. or at least the first rabbit book was. so terrible as to make me throw out my expensive omnibus of the four books

[Anonymous No.1666713]

bump for books

[Anonymous No.1666717]

>>1665680

this is a terrible opinion but if you didn't like rabbit run you made the right call since it's the best of the 4

[Anonymous No.1666839]

>>1665495
It's good if you do it in a quick and general way or maybe single out a specific item that says something about the character or situation, but it can get very old if you go in to too much detail. It happens often in novels that try to be really self-aware or that are rooted in modern social situations like romances or comedies. Or genre fiction.

[Anonymous No.1666842]

>he opens the novel in media res, just like James Patterson, Nicholas Sparks, and every other dime store novelist who tries to appeal to readers with ADD and a GED

[Anonymous No.1666893]

If you understand how books are sold to publishers, it explains why the first chapter in modern books is always so screwy.

[Anonymous No.1667541]

bumping