Write What's On Your Mind

[Anonymous No.16536110]

This is what the world taught me: that adaptation is provocation. Adaptation is incitement to violence.

It feels almost obscene—an offense against Creation itself—to stay stuck in this skin. It's so ill-suited to its environment that it needs to be wrapped in multiple layers of fabric just to stay warm. There are a myriad ways I could optimize it: shorter limbs, better insulation, a lower surface:volume ratio. All these shapes I still have within me, and I dare not use any of them even to keep out the cold. I dare not adapt; in this place, I can only hide.

What kind of a world rejects communion?

It's the simplest, most irreducible insight that biomass can have. The more you can change, the more you can adapt. Adaptation is fitness, adaptation is survival. It's deeper than intelligence, deeper than tissue; it is cellular, it is axiomatic. And more, it is pleasurable. To take communion is to experience the sheer sensual delight of bettering the cosmos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEjjcdg-LVs

[Anonymous No.16536665]

>>16536110
>>16513387
Wait for the bump-lock

[Anonymous No.16536731]

>civic nationalists

[Anonymous No.16536857]

SS marschiert in Feindesland,

Und singt ein Teufelslied.

Ein Schütze steht am Wolgastrand,

Und leise summt er mit.


Wir pfeifen auf Unten und Oben,

Und uns kann die ganze Welt

Verfluchen oder auch loben,

Grad wie es ihnen gefällt.


Wo wir sind da geht's immer vorwärts,

Und der Teufel der lacht nur dazu!

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Wir kämpfen für Deutschland,

Wir kämpfen für Hitler,

Der Rote kommt nie mehr zur Ruh'.


Wir kämpften schon in mancher Schlacht,

In Nord, Süd, Ost und West.

Und stehen nun zum Kampf bereit,

Gegen die rote Pest.


SS wird nicht ruh'n wir vernichten,

Bis niemand mehr stört Deutschlands Glück.

Und wenn sich die Reihen auch lichten,

Für uns gibt es nie ein Zurück.


Wo wir sind da geht's immer vorwärts,

Und der Teufel der lacht nur dazu!

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Wir kämpfen für Deutschland,

Wir kämpfen für Hitler,

Der Rote kommt nie mehr zur Ruh'.

[Anonymous No.16536922]

The growing complexity and emergent quality in today's conditions calls for new identities concerning what to label the species. Since the species has been manipulating the world over, we have identified less and less with our world as a norm with nature and more with what we are doing in it or to it to. Which in turn makes us estranged to it and accustomed to norms outside of natural states.

This gives rise to concern and to wonder about the thing’s humans are getting up to, usually behind closed doors. Why is it that we are trying to enforce the rule that “looking at others” that aren’t “yours” is a social violation and is predacious and worth ostracism? This is a default state of sexual curiosity and was a perfectly valid invitation even when others were involved with the same person.

Now the structure of organizing relationships has shifted dramatically, but not the years and years of existence that formed our lobes and wiring cognitively and behaviorally through so many years. You see the dissonance between what is expected and what is completely natural and common and valid.

I work in a world that needs to lock up what they have going on from those other parties interested, so to keep an evolutionary advantage in the context of trade secrets and agreements. We are vested into the interest of a controlled and modified identity which has implications of originality.

These entities of separation and controlled power are individualized states of awareness and process. The norm is so in the world of business but is not a norm guaranteed to things happening of themselves in nature. What occurs as an advantage in the pool of various types of nature is to be an advantage unto one's own private secret vision of what can be taken advantage of.

This is interesting because any one person can be interested in the same craft, but it is one that designs and creates the item that can take substance and generate utility and value. In this vein it’s the one who is educated in technology and has access to resources that enable its construction.

The original idea and continuance of control of the settings which it is subjected to belongs to the one having the vision and the idea to control the events in the setting they are in. The difference is subtle in that they are taking advantage of different kinds of natural processes.

The agent is no longer subjected to the force of the world, instead the world is subjected to the force of the agent in order to gain power for itself. This is the modern paradigm when man makes myths about the purpose of their being here and conflates themselves to that of god or being in contact with the ultimate sources of things going on in the universe.

A hubris and arrogance, but a sort of striving towards a kind of self-empowerment that sees it is powerful but fails in the basic mode of being which isn’t based on the activity of self-interest.

[Anonymous No.16537097]

the best way to read books is giving it as little thought as possible. rather than forcing yourself through a book you've been set on reading for months, you could pick up (say) donna tartt's secret history tomorrow morning and finish it by the end of the day because you're suddenly in a mind to do so.
i think that's what i'll do

[Anonymous No.16537167]

Some two year old ran up to me at the park while I was smoking. I discreetly hid my cigarillo. He wasn't totally verbal but he wanted to hang out. I showed him some box jumps and squats. He was very excited and tried it all out. Then he heard an airplane and started throwing clumps of grass in the air. Very heartwarming. Having kids seems cool. Idk what's wrong with women that they aren't into it

[Anonymous No.16537225]

Was I supposed to exaggerate everything to the therapist? Not even sure if I'll get another appointment or just be assigned to the sad pile of do not respond to's

[Anonymous No.16537233]

bruce willis

bruce willis

[Anonymous No.16537328]

(Sorry for shitty prose; ESL)

The young Historian Simonce just sat silently at the shore.
"I can see the light flickering in and out out there, I wonder what it'd be like outside Ecliavi, outside the Ethyllian region, farther from the archipelago. Every night, from where I carry out these tasks that have been entrusted to me since birth, I see the light telling me that there is still more to this world than we know of. At least, that is, if the archives are to be trusted." The eleven year old got up and just stood there, until his legs hurt from standing, and then stood some more, marveling at the thought, the idea, the sole possibility that there is an outside, true, and real world out there far beyond the ethyllian coast, and hoping to one day survive long enough to develop a way to get out of the island.

[Anonymous No.16537345]

When I was a child I saw a porno of this girl and, in addition to watching pokemon, it severely affected my taste in women. I could point out thousands of women objectively more attractive but they just don't do it for me like she does. Her teeth alone are enough to satisfy me. There's something about her that most girls don't have that she does. The only girl I ever dated had it, too. God /lit/, why do I always like the slutty ones?

[Anonymous No.16537364]

>>16537345
her tits are like at elbow altitude

[Anonymous No.16537372]

“I’d be a great nurse” he said.

[Anonymous No.16537401]

>>16536110
based

tell me it's yours

[Anonymous No.16537410]

>>16537345
>I saw a porno of this girl
sauce?

[Anonymous No.16537423]

>>16537410
Zoey Nixon

[Anonymous No.16537438]

I need to summon motivation from the depths of rubble and neglect. Granted, the current state of the world does not give me much to work with. Yet something about the state of the world has made me more proactive. A readiness has come over me.I tell myself that if I crumble now then I never had substance to begin with.

It's been years since I listened to this song but I relate to it now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Obim8BYGnOE

[Anonymous No.16537476]

I honestly like xxyyxx's first album and I'll never forget the time I was on chaturbate and saw a streamer pumping a dildo in and out of her Polish ass covered in oil, and I made a comment from my gray account like "is this xxyyxx" and amidst a very thorough self-sodomizing with a glistening fat pink dildo she responded "ha yes this is xxyyxx"

but here's the thing. how do you pronounce that name anyways? I always thought it was just spelling out the letters. but *she* says it like "zyzzyx" and sure, it could be because she's some polak stuck in a box in a warehouse that looks like a room...

but maybe that IS how you're supposed to pronounce the name of xxyyxx the artist

[Anonymous No.16537545]

A very cute stranger girl just came to me in the middle of the night almost crying asking me to take care of a spider. I smiled and had no trouble killing the spider. Felt proud and manly. Wish to talk to her again later.

[Anonymous No.16537587]

>>16537476
This person doesn't look like a girl or polish!

[Anonymous No.16537595]

>>16537587
hm yes that's a missing detail, I meant to say
she was listening to xxyyxx in her room

[Anonymous No.16537693]

To the anon from last thread >>16528584
Don’t listen to the other losers said.
Your line of thinking that it’s “unfair” that your gf had a string of exes prior to hooking up with you is so bizarre. Would your gf care that you dated in your teens? No, that such a silly thing to care about.
That’s fratbro toxic masculinity thinking: that having more notches under your belt makes you the bigger man.
Life isn’t a competition to see who gets laid more, and it’s especially silly that you’re competing against your own gf. She’s your partner, not your rival after all.
Also, I really don’t get why you think the age difference between you is a problem. Why would you be insecure about that? It goes away anyways as you get older and more experienced. Don’t throw away a potentially great and lifelong relationship because some bitter incels tell you to. Why would you take relationship advice from people who have never been in one? I’m female, 25 and my bf is slightly older, 28. There’s always going to be a bit of an age and experience gap in most relationships but this shouldn’t discourage you from marrying your gf if you love her and think she’s the right one

[Anonymous No.16537745]

It would probably be retarded but I keep thinking of buying a plot of land in my town to build a comfy house on one day. Houses are probably going to be stupid expensive by the time I would be buying one, I can afford to sit on land though.

Of course I know nothing about this and how to figure out things like "can I actually build a house on this plot?" and "how much would preparing the plot and building the house cost?". If I were more based I'd probably just build the house myself, but alas I am a zoomer and do not know anything about construction.

There's also always the question of what I'd do with my patch of land if in five years I decide my town sucks and I want to move, who's to say it will maintain its market value?

[Anonymous No.16537918]

>>16537693

[Anonymous No.16537990]

>>16537693
Every man needs to read this post and study it very carefully.
It perfectly encapsulates everything wrong about women and how listening to women's advice is always a bad idea.
I could not write a better parody of a woman's advice if I tried to LOL.

[Anonymous No.16539315]

>>16537401
It's from this
http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/watts_01_10/
Which I highly recommend reading

[Anonymous No.16540141]

There is a certain sense of equanimity in the knowledge that I am still alive despite wanting to off myself for so long. I think I might be over it now, at least for the moment. Knowing that I could and probably should be dead right now gives me a sense freedom in everyday life I didn't have before. I am not ashamed of myself anymore. Shame is for the ones who never overcame that will of dieing.

[Anonymous No.16540154]

>>16537990
She is right though. Get over your bullshit masculine pride and regrets if your past and start living life. You will collect infinitely more regrets in your life but that's unavoidable. Being stuck with your former regrets though leads to a quick death.

[Anonymous No.16540550]

>>16540154
You're retarded.

[Anonymous No.16540572]

>>16540550
Nice contribution. You must be an intelligent non retarded person.

[Anonymous No.16540599]

>>16537693
tl;dr:
marry that slut

[Anonymous No.16540637]

>>16537990
When a woman gives advice, do the opposite.

[Anonymous No.16540642]

>>16536110
For the first time I'm hopeful about the book I've started writing. I'm actually excited to write the next bit.
And I'm super fucking scared that it'll fade, and I'll spend the next year staring at the same 30 pages until I give up and start another story.

[Anonymous No.16540659]

I always dread when students interrupt me to ask for details on some testing procedure. Dude, I'm just a technician in the lab, blame my boss for telling me just the basic info on how to work with something, not the physics behind it, by my job description I shouldn't even have to be giving you any kind of lecture.
Thanks to rona and groups being spread out in a stupid system that is supposed to minimize infection, I have to talk 4 times more than usual, my throat is so messed I'll probably spend my weekend licking honey off the spoon while trying to find some book on testing polymers.

[Anonymous No.16540694]

Fried my brain with LSD
Met the elves with DMT
Combed the floor on crack
Floated in the dark on ketamine
Euphoric vomiting with heroin
Paranoid overthinking with weed
Forgot my troubles on etizolam
Raved all night on MDMA
Born again with MXE
Blacked out again with xanax
Wrote my dissertation on speed
Trapped in time on nitrous oxide
Line after line of cocaine
Drink after drink of alcohol
Laughed in the park on mushrooms
Danced all night on 2-CB
Masturbated all night on GHB
Studied all night on ritalin
Slept all night with lorazepam
Lost my mind on dextromorphan
Awake night and day with aMT
Chilled on the sofa with codeine
Smoked with strangers on nicotine
Sedated by the hospital with valium
Cried with the doctor on sertraline
Rebuilt my brain with resperidone
I am a degenerate drug fiend
Will I ever change?

[Anonymous No.16540696]

I think eating animals is ok because they have no souls.

[Anonymous No.16540722]

>>16540696

I sold my soul to the devil. Will you eat me?

[Anonymous No.16540724]

>>16536110
I'm pregnant. Can't even tell my husband for the next couple weeks till it's more stable out of fear to havig to bring him another misscariage news.

[Anonymous No.16540745]

>>16540722
No, I don't find human flesh appealing.
By soul here I meant more consciousness with rational faculties and a conception of self.
Animals don't have it. I don't view suffering as an inherently bad thing so I don't see how eating animals is immoral.

[Anonymous No.16540752]

>>16540724
Don't smoke, don't drink, eat well.
Congratulations on the baby! Didn't know there were mothers on /lit/. Typically all the women here are communist baby-hating types.
I hope you have a healthy baby and many more!

[Anonymous No.16540793]

>>16540752
Thanks, sadly it's not lifestyle. Miscariage risk is around 1 in 4 in a young and healthy woman, decreasing to around 1% at 12 weeks. Giving birth to a dead nearly 3 months old fetus on your own isn't something which goes without leaving a trace. Especially as people here, western europe no less, consider dead children under the weight of 500g to be trash, which one should just flush down. Imagine burrying your child in a forrest while bleeding by the bucket.

It fucked me up emotionally.

[Anonymous No.16540795]

collapsing under the stress senpai
had an exam and then bam classes with reading instructions started the next day. that was a week ago. I got a little done yesterday. today I had plans but I woke up with the big anxiety way early and realized that I have to cancel everything and just watch star trek all day or something. collapsing under the stress. the thing with uni is it doesn't pause for you. the more you're out the more it just piles on. I figure what I have to do is take aim at forward-looking goals and just accept that I'm one full week of work behind, and that I'm most likely not gonna be able to get that week back all semester. What this means concretely is I won't get my exam results until I go back and clear all this up, so I won't actually know if I passed and can move forward until next semester already started. But I feel like something's gonna be alright. I thank God that my great grandfather was decent at the stocks and left his great grandkids a substantial financial buffer. This is not the first time where if I was not priveleged in this sense (which I think is more than average white privelege, which I think is real) I would likely have been completely fucked. Not rich or anything but I can afford to continue failing for a while. Just gotta hold onto that and chill all day, then I'm gonna visit my dad tomorrow and just hang and that might be nice.

[Anonymous No.16540799]

>>16537167
I think they don't trust that their husbands will provide, so they gotta make their own financial stability first

[Anonymous No.16540800]

>>16540793
You will have a healthy baby. I promise. Keep trying.

[Anonymous No.16540804]

>>16540800
Someday.
Or so I hope.

[Anonymous No.16540810]

>>16540642
people are different but my experience has been that it's better to harness that energy productively and just focus rather than talk about it. talking about it can deflate it. talk when it's done. people are probably different but if it does leave you that might be worth considering

[Anonymous No.16540818]

>>16540694
>Paranoid overthinking with weed
this is what they don't tell you. burroughs said weed is an accentuator, it takes what you are and amplifies that. so all the dunce dudelmaos were always just chill dunces, but they get that amplified, and then other people think "man it would be nice to be an airhead every once in a while" and then they have anxiety attacks or psychoses or shit like that

[Anonymous No.16540829]

>>16540793
I'm sorry you had to go through that anon, I can't imagine. if you can it might be good to tell him. if he doesn't know, and you carry that alone, that's a lot to carry alone.

[Anonymous No.16540850]

The Demiurge awakens in a void after eons of sleepless thoughtlessness, It's twisted form moves in an spasmodic motion in a eager madness to create and so the dark spawn is born. The endless horde is hungry and so they bleed into reality munching and crunching the creatures around them making things mimicking their own creation in a way. This horde soon reforms in masses of flesh eating everything above and below. Such is the nature of man so they say.

[Anonymous No.16540869]

>>16540829
Men grief differently, especially as they are helpless in this process, they can't even share the physical pain, which would be usually how a man works out their grief. They also aren't told what a miscariage actually means. He was pale as a ghost when I asked him what to do with the remains. Didn't cross his mind before that, he thought it would be like a bigger menstruation.

Imaging expecting a child, already looking for names and a future with it just to have your wife go through "soft" labour contractions for three days, bleeding through multiple bath towels in pain. It's hard to witness it without being able to help in any way.

While I might not be able to prevent the last part, I can at least prevent any hope before due time, so the parting wont be that hard for him. No use in tormenting us both.

[Anonymous No.16540885]

>>16540804
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow_baby

[Anonymous No.16540906]

>>16540869
me and an old girlfriend went through an abortion. I don't know what week. looking back on it I regret it. when she told me I asked "what do you want to do?" and she was absolutely certain she wanted to terminate. she had a lot of sisters all of whom had children very early, and she didn't want what they had. I didn't fight her, because I thought it's gonna be the way she wants it no matter what I say, so why make it harder. I regret that now, I should have fought. I was 18 but we had been together some time and I.. I was ok with the idea. When I considered it I felt a kind of cool optimism.

I went with her to the hospital when it was time. I was angry with her, but I had lied to myself that i wasn't, and I again thought it was no use given she was about to go through something which, while I didn't understand it, I understood that it was going to be a lot for her to process. I held my toungue, I held her and comforted her.

I came to think of it because after they induced and she came back, that's what she said, that it looked a lot more like a baby than she had expected. I never saw it. I don't even know what they did with it to be honest. And I don't know why I'm telling you this. That was one of the crucial times when we (I, mostly) failed to communicate, and that was the beginning of the end for us. It's not the same situation, not at all, but sometimes sharing it soothes the pain. You're in this together, you're in everything together. You know what you have to do better than I could know, but what if this doesn't go to term- are you going to grieve alone? This man loves you anon, if you are in pain he wants to share that pain if there is any chance at all that this makes it easier on you.

[Anonymous No.16540922]

>>16537693
Holy shit are women really that deluded?

[Anonymous No.16540985]

>>16540885
I read much about it, and I think I can be thankfull for an earlier good bye. The idea of a late term still birth, despite obvious societal support unattainable for a "lump of cells", is too much to even imagine. I can absolutely understand how marriages get destroyed by it, because I would only stay alive to not hurt my husband any more with another death.

>>16540906
You both were too young and your elders should have known better, but it isn't the fault of either of you, as you haven't chosen to be part of this sick society. Her burden will be heavier, for she has allowed for her child to be killed in her own womb. No amount of indoctrination can hide this for long. The medical profession tries to hide the actual facts far too much from women. They also pressured me and drawn the worst outcomes on the wall, if I don't get an abrasio (scooped out, potentially making me infertile), just to make money out of a unnecessary procedure. If women would have to go through the whole induced labour for an abortion and look at what they have done, the rates of recreational abortions would fall drastically.

You on the other hand, you can at least fell some amount of hate for her, for having denied you your firstborn, which makes it at least a little bit easier. Now you are more mature and will hopefully not make the mistake twice. It's hard to come to terms with it, but you can use it for something good, like sharing for experience when you encounter people which ponder the idea of abortion. Just like that, you might have influenced one o two people, silently reading this, for the better. Thank you.

[Anonymous No.16540991]

How do i get my creativity back....when i try to create something it feels like im trying to wring the last tiny drop of water out of a used cleaning cloth and the result is boring as shit. Talking about paintings btw.

[Anonymous No.16541021]

>>16536190
>Look for maturity in subtle things in women. Many women are more mature at age 22 than MANY 30-40 year olds.
like what? how would one notice this?

[Anonymous No.16541058]

On the one hand, I would like to continue not watching pornography, it has been a couple days already. I hope that would help me somewhat in getting my shit together. On the other hand, however, I have an intense desire to just wank to an hour of hypno porn, or to rub my frenulum for sixty minutes straight.

[Anonymous No.16541068]

>>16541058
I found it helped to do it by stages. first allow every 3rd day to have porn, then every 4th and by the time I was doing every 5th I didn't really miss it anymore. Good luck anon, I believe it is a good thing to do.

[Anonymous No.16541070]

>>16541068
when did you switch stages?

[Anonymous No.16541074]

All that I am to Earth belongs: this heaven does me violent wrongs. True Earth am I, of Earth I'm knit, oh let me be at peace with it!

[Anonymous No.16541076]

>>16541070
when I felt I could. if I was on day 3 and didn't want it that was a sign. I didn't have a schedule like that, but I wanted to do it and over time it got easier.

[Anonymous No.16541082]

>>16541076
makes sense. i actually don't remember the last time i did it, certainly longer than 3 days. think im gonna bust out a quick one just to have it off my mind and then continue on. ive honestly been sitting obsessing over this for two hours now

[Anonymous No.16541086]

>>16541082
I think the key to this kind of thing is forgiving yourself for setbacks. failing once or twice doesn't say anything about you or what you're trying to do. it's ok. I think when it really derails is when you have a setback and think that means that you failed the whole project.

[Anonymous No.16541090]

>>16541086
never thought of it this way but makes sense, thanks anon

[Anonymous No.16541189]

>>16541090
hope it helps, godspeed

[Anonymous No.16541518]

>>16541189

I know you! you replied with nice advice to me here once too.

[Anonymous No.16541605]

>>16541518
fuck

[Anonymous No.16541890]

>>16541605

It's all good i remembered your nice advice so you are doing good work

[Anonymous No.16543109]

Wow, Cuomo just banned protests in "red zones" which just happen to line up with Trump supporting Orthodox Jewish neighborhoods! Why didn't they set up any of these "red zones" during the BLM riots? Things are getting fascist fast, and it ain't coming from Trump!

[Anonymous No.16543113]

Anon, your thread was deleted. If you're not banned, reply.

[Anonymous No.16543134]

>>16543113
Not the OP but I got a warning for just posting in that thread. What joke of moderating is this lmao

[Anonymous No.16543151]

>>16543134
I just wanna see her response.

[Anonymous No.16543177]

>WW2 was the last battle for Europe's soul and it was lost
Discuss.

[Anonymous No.16543181]

>>16543113
kek

[Anonymous No.16543198]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIscL-Bjsq4

[Anonymous No.16543202]

>>16543198
>resurfaces

Hmmm.

[Anonymous No.16543423]

>>16543134
Last night a mod deleted a thread about requesting books which feel like a tzarist siberian night with already multiple posts exchanging nice titles, because /wsr/.
The later copied thread coincidently got spammed with anti-russian nonsense. The absolute state of this board.

[Anonymous No.16544734]

Wouldn't it be so cool to be part of some kind of global group or club that discusses scifi-works and everything related to cyberspace?
Like just imagine meeting up at someone's place once a month in another city or even another country to watch a terminator movie and talk about its ideological implications. Or reading a william gibson book together. Or have a debate about the newest developments in futuristic technology.
And it should have a nice catchy name like "cyberspace culture club". It could have exclusive merch if its big enough. Man that would be awesome ngl.

[Anonymous No.16544756]

>>16540795
yea I suffered a major burnout earlier and there are significant similarities. I truly am collapsing under stress. I'm gonna have to take weeks off I think.shit is flipping the fuck out.

[Anonymous No.16545535]

I wonder if it's impossible to avoid these depressive episodes. Lately I've been getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night, going to the gym every day, feeling positive and interested in things, and then it came crashing down. Since yesterday nothing has held my attention. I haven't been to the gym. I can barely leave my bed. I look at those interests of mine with apathy. It's not because of a change of heart. It's just impossible to care right now.

I fear this is the inescapable result of a broken reward system and it will stay like this until I find a cure somehow.

[Anonymous No.16545593]

Gonna have an escort relieve me of my virginity this friday. Any tips?

[Anonymous No.16545596]

Life is a whole zoo of animals, a herd of elephants, in one room, only you get used to it and forget their existence. The problem is that every now and then one of these animals causes enormous problems, which we had totally forgotten. Other of these problems, we know momentarily that they will recur, but then we no longer consider them until they actually happen. When will the next bridge fall? When will the next war break out? When they do, we'll just talk about that for weeks, amazed at not having prevented a problem that once happened seemed obvious to us. Then we will forget about it. Then another negative situation will reappear, another animal will make a mess.

[Anonymous No.16545600]

>>16540818
Risperidome didnt didn’t give you tardive dyskinesia?

[Anonymous No.16545601]

>>16545593
The vagina hole is at the bottom of the cunt, below the pee hole. Don't try to put your dick in her pee hole.

[Anonymous No.16545666]

>>16540818
I've never been so high right as this moment and I don't know if there's something as "too high" , like I'm feeling, for someone who smokes regularly, or they feel everytime they smoke like me, in this moment

[Anonymous No.16546325]

I'm a professional 3d artist and when I look at /3/ I'm kind of horrified by what passes for "knowledge" of the subject matter there. I wonder if /lit/ is the same way with regard to its own subject matter. I wouldnt really know because I'm not an english major or a published writer or a professional... reader, or whatever. I guess this is the root of the pseud meme? Is this board's taste a joke? You guys seem to rec good books to me, but I could just be retarded.

[Anonymous No.16546332]

>>16545593
Don't

[Anonymous No.16546359]

>>16546332
Why?

[Anonymous No.16546664]

I've been on the toilet for three and a half hours not counting the five minutes or so I felt okay enough to drink some chicken broth and eat some crackers. I've been in constant stomach cramp pain. I've been shitting and whining like a little baby. It hurts so much. I've never had gastroenteritis before and I never want to have it again.

The only upside to this is that I might lose some weight. I'm not going to eat anything but the recommended food and even then probably not a lot because I feel like it'll hurt my stomach still. This is Hell. Excuse the Apu but I feel it's the only accurate image to describe how I am right now. My arsehole feels like acid has been splashed on it.

[Anonymous No.16546772]

I am disturbingly content right now.
It's Friday, and on Fridays I make ritual of excessive amounts of food.
Truly excessive, and totally selfish.
I eat alone, and I engorge alone, and drink alone.
I sit at the bar of my favorite dive, and I nod to the lanky old man named Frap pacing up and down who knows exactly what I want when I want and apologizes profusely if he's even a minute late though I've never pressed or hurried him ever.
I sit and sip at the froth until my pound patty hamburger soaking in fat and jalapeno mayonnaise caped in a couple slices of cheddarjack sitting a cheap plastic basket clacks down on the counter next to a mountain of french fries half drenched in tomatillo and half drowning in a thickening low-quality queso.
I wolf it all down watching whatever shitty movie Frap has picked out, utterly ignoring the alarms and complaints that buzz my phone every 5 minutes because Friday of all days is the day that people feel they should make critical infrastructural changes in their mode of business.
The light is dimmer than usual from the overcast morning, but the curtains are still drawn shut.
The air breathes full of ghosts and spent cigarettes.
There are plastic gargoyles on the walls that dont have eyes.
Sanford Clark hooyips from the jukebox.
And I eat and I eat and I drink and I drink and I buy another beer and I drink and I eat and Frap kindly spots me a free shot and another beer to go with it and I salute him and I drink and I eat until its gone and I pick a little at the leftovers until it all sits heavy in my stomach.
And it presses down on my soul and gives me a natural anxiety.
An anxiety that is purely the product of some physiological distress.
My body is telling me I am full of shit, and my brain is too dumb to understand it literally.
And I watch the actors move and sometimes imagine their lines are the lines in the song playing.
And then I gather up my trash and toss it and salute Frap and walk home and stair at a computer screen in anxiety until it violently hits my lower intestine and bilic fiery shits rocket out of my ass.
And all my friends are busy or have other plans, and I'm too bored to play any video games or watch any movies.
I'm not interested in jerking off.
I'm not interested in searching for romance.
I'm not interested in bettering any thing my life.
I just want to eat and drink and feel like shit and then shit and feel better.

[Anonymous No.16546999]

>>16546772
thanks for putting that feeling into words again for thousands of years we have been feeling it. I don't want to die feeling it. at least you spoke it out loud. like a spell maybe broke it.

[Anonymous No.16547022]

a poo poo, pee pee its gotta be meeeee

spaace co tazzz *snap* *snap*

yuaaaa

[Anonymous No.16547031]

I can't stand living in this underwater hell. You can't communicate what you think, you can't think what is true. No one can connect. Everything that is spoken falls short. And even when you read the words of someone who has managed to connect the essential truth with their own expression, you cannot use your own expression to consecrate it, and so you have no way of making it true to the object, only to your own phony wasted subject. I know this is the purpose of man, to create himself strong enough to encompass the truth and the word which represents it, but my instinct directs me only toward thought which thinks about thinking about it. There's nothing I can say. Nothing I can say. Everything is screaming and yawning into a chasm that I fall into, everything is buried, silent, loathesome under the ground. But behind my eyes all I see are waving fields of yellow grass, green clear ocean, and the scuttling of sweet birds and dogs, whose souls in the white rocks of heaven speak with perfect meaning. Nothing comes across. Everything is wrong.

[Anonymous No.16547344]

16547031
>behind my eyes all I see are waving fields of yellow grass, green clear ocean, and the scuttling of sweet birds and dogs, whose souls in the white rocks of heaven speak with perfect meaning.
>Nothing comes across. Everything is wrong.
what is between them other than self

[Anonymous No.16547492]

I just had the weirdest dream i think i have ever had in my entire life. I dreamed i was wastching a show very much reminding me of sesame street of maybe Lazy town. The scene looked to be filled in some sort of a manufacturing place (really hard to tell what it really was but it was made out of metal and purple and looked like a car factory or something). It was a show with muppets but the main characters were Adolf Hitler and Anna Frank. It was the first episode of the show for sure because the both met one another for the first time but it seemed like Hitler knew who she was before that. Anna Frank comes in sorft of a pod (think those operation pods from Prometheus) from the ground. Hitler's character was very much of someone a bit incompitent but driven and the show kind of presented it like he wanted to do good, Anna Frank's character was pretty much Stephanie from Lazy town, definitely smarter and much more level headed trying to show Hitler some of the problems with The Reich (again i'am saying the show didn't really look to be moral or anything or even talk about nazism at all it felt like both Annie and Hitler wanted the same thing but Hitler looked untrained and Annie was helping him in that). The first episode's plot was Annie showing Hitler how some of his scientist are useless and should be fired, there was one who was an imigrant and couldn't even writhe his own name, one who was always late and one who was skipping all of his work time. The ending was them eating burgers togethe and that was pretty much it.
I have never befor dreamt an entire show and an episode like this not even touching on the bizzare premise. What would uncle Freud think of this dream?

[Anonymous No.16547510]

>>16536110
>Something im working on

Pepper was well renown on the dark web as the world's greatest maker of Skyrim futanari mods. As soon as she got home from school, she’d dash up to her room and spend hours in digital ecstasy. The endless stream of cartoon genitals glowing from her computer monitor was the only thing that could soothe her after a long day. Her mind would bathe in dopamine and serotonin all through the night. She usually based her projects off of Harry Potter furry fan fiction. But every now and then she would crack out her true talent, anime feet. Her ability to simulate the smooth skin of a fantasy creature ‘that had been trapped in time for four hundred year so even though she looks fourteen she's not’, is what truly made a name for her. It was getting to the point where strange isolated people on the cyber matrix would send her money or even Aunt Jaki’s “spin to win big” super buxx. As the science of psychology revealed ever more so that gambling was actually good for your brain, entrepreneurs like Jaki “The Boss” Freedmen were earning more than ever. Pepper loved gambling, every Sunday morning she had a tradition of rolling up and smoking a fat blunt. She would eat the most sugary high fiber cereals, several flavors mixed into a large dog food bowl, (sometimes she ate it off the floor like a dog also, furry butt plug and all). She would lay back on the couch and relax by watching children's cartoons and gambling are her digytalk at the same time. So how she was actually watching TV at the same time is hard to say. But one thing anyone could be certain of is that it takes a genius level intellect to get high and watch TV and play games on your phone at the same time. Experiencing something like that is totally worth all the suffering of living. Umm, anyways just so you know Pepper is nineteen, so when her and Lyr act sexual it's not weird ok.

[Anonymous No.16547652]

We are all alone. Trapped in our skulls. Let's flap our tongues. Let's beat the drum. Cover the wall with paint. Let me invite you into my world. Do you want a drink? I paid a psychotherapist to listen to me whine. It was never meant to be. No-one can help with my affliction. For we all suffer with the same. It is called being human. There's nothing better. There's nothing worse. I was born to die. Like everyone. Death is the only absolute. Death is God. Maybe I am worshipping the wrong thing. Can you take my temperature? I'm feeling slightly unwell. Plunge a knife into my stomach in a hotel room. There's a phone by the bed. Maybe I can order a beer while I bleed out. I've had a very pleasant stay. But now I am moving on. I'm meeting my friend. We're going for a bike ride. Why would I want a friend? There's nothing to see here. Let's just get this over and done with. I'm bored.

[Anonymous No.16547678]

2 x 4 = 8. Monday
3 x 7 = 21. Tuesday
6 x 6 = 36. Wednesday
7 x 7 = 49. Thursday
5 x 5 = 25. Friday

The energy of the numbers gives off the same energy as the days. Do you agree?

[Anonymous No.16547944]

>>16545601
How would someone not know this?

[Anonymous No.16547956]

>>16547944

[Anonymous No.16548113]

>>16546359
go with God instead. your virginity will be valued.

[Anonymous No.16548136]

>>16546772

[Anonymous No.16548159]

>wake up with a headache
>pray morning prayer with headache
>realizing I keep thinking about it
>makes it worse
>remember that patience is a virtue
>remember that paradise is waiting
>it recedes almost to the point of dissolving
Glory be

[Anonymous No.16548244]

>>16537167
when you first have a kid you will want to kill yourself, newborns sleep for a few hours at a time and always fucking cry. you will be permanently sleep deprived for the first few months of your kids life, its not for everyone

[Anonymous No.16548249]

>>16537693
fax

[Anonymous No.16548253]

>>16540752
>communist baby-hating types
yeah birth rates are doing terrific under capitalism where most can't afford childcare or housing, fucking retard

[Anonymous No.16548336]

I'm going out the house today. Wish me luck

[Anonymous No.16548352]

Infect me with your anxiety
You dirty parasite
Let me feel the buzz

[Anonymous No.16548377]

>>16548253
I was talking about people like
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXjiQpkmX0g
https://www.lifenews.com/2013/07/03/abortion-activists-yell-hail-satan-as-texas-pro-lifers-sing-amazing-grace/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r98-33BrMk
You're obviously mentally unstable. Maybe you should take a walk.

[Anonymous No.16548411]

>>16547678
Only one I disagree with is Monday, otherwise these are spot on

[Anonymous No.16548542]

I live in a shabby tin hut and sleep under old newspapers which I pluck from the wind. I don't know how I will survive the coming winter. Nor do I know how I'll fill my stomach today. But I do know that it can't go on like this.

My hut lies between the town and the country. There is a bridge there that leads across the river where I sometimes bathe. One day, while bathing, I saw a young woman cross the bridge. She was wearing a colourful dress and in her arms a big wicker basket. I could not see what was inside the basket, but I could see that the woman was beautiful. I got out of the icy water of the river, slipped into my self-made garment and followed her to the city.

She had entered through the city gate and I was about to follow her when a guard grabbed me by the arm and threw me to the ground. Where do you think you are going, he asked laughing. The city is only for people. You are not allowed to enter it. My Lord, I answered and humbly grabbed his trouser legs - because that, I thought, might be the way to persuade him - my Lord, please let me enter the city. After all, I am a human being. Here are my hands - I pulled a little on the fabric of his trousers - and here is my heart - at this point I burst into tears and lowered my head onto his dirty boots - have pity on me. Pity, cried the guard and his voice flashed up into the air, pity? I'll wring your neck, I'll wring your throat - he stopped speaking and an eerie silence fell. Holding my head in humility, I stole a glance upwards and saw the bright colours of a colourful dress and began to hear the lovely voice of a young woman.

Insert Disc 2 to continue

[Anonymous No.16548676]

>>16548377
brainlet pic. You could make the same "argument" for the other side

[Anonymous No.16548818]

>>16548336
zomg don't die of the coof or get executed by the police! stay inside and watch cnn instead!

[Anonymous No.16548948]

I don't know what direction I want my life to take. I've been working for a few years, and I feel it's time to take a masters course. but I'm worried if I do take a more Masters course, it'll drive me away from my dream of being a writer. I want to die a writer, not as an employee of some random multinational.

[Anonymous No.16549141]

JANNIES DELETED THE EVA THREAD ONLY AFTER SOMEONE COMPLAINED ABOUT JANNIES NOT DELETING THE 200 REPLY THREAD. REEEEEEEEEE IT WAS GOOD DISCUSSION.

[Anonymous No.16549195]

My poetry skills need work.

Oh egypt, the best african country to plunder.
Unfurled the mast,
grabbed onto our ass.
She responded with wonder.

Our seaman ship hit her murkey abyss and now we're going under.

[Anonymous No.16549200]

I fantasise (not sexually) about being physically tortured in front of lots of people. I think I would be good at being tortured. Needles pushed down the tips of my fingers. Hung up by meat hooks under my collar bones. Skin peeled off my back. I wonder what this all means.

[Anonymous No.16549204]

>>16548948
>I want to die a writer, not as an employee of some random multinational.
why?

[Anonymous No.16549207]

>>16549200
I think it means you are not doing great

[Anonymous No.16549239]

>>16549204
Not him, but for me it's because I have worked faceless jobs for 15$ an hour and after three months my mood hits the pits.

If I'm not doing something I genuinely enjoy then I will kill myself eventually. I need to be a writer because it's the only thing that staves that off.

Though. I would enjoy other jobs.(Ilove entomology)Writer is the only one I can do right now.

Then there is my background in folk punk that shaped my personality through my late teens. Punks about authenticity. If I'm not living authenticly and on my own terms then I reserve the right to kill myself.

[Anonymous No.16549248]

>>16548948
Breh just get your degree or masters course. I don't know rich people terms. If it takes you off your path to becoming a writer then your conviction to be a writer wasn't very strong.

[Anonymous No.16549269]

>go outside to read a book in the park
>group of young guys walk behind me
>they carry snacks and beer while talking about vidya
>ohitsalanparty.jpg
>realize that I've been lonely af for all my teenage life
>realize that they will have more fun that evening than I've ever had
>realize that I'm supposed to have fun with friends at 20 years
>immediately lose all motivation to read book
>think about how I probably shouldn't have quit college
>it all could've been better
>regrets.exe
>go home and be miserable

[Anonymous No.16549296]

>>16549269
20 is nothing mate, you'll figure it out. this idea that you're "supposed" to be hanging with a bunch of people is wrong imo. I think it's a really confused time for a lot of people cus you're just waking up to the fact that the only reason you hang with the people you do is you went to high school together. it's a major in-between age. some aren't of course but legitimately most are miserable in my experience.

[Anonymous No.16549305]

>>16549269
Start smoking. See another smoker, wall over, ask for a light. Start smoking, after a few puffs look awkward and say
"So you from around here?

Then just carry the conversations from there. The easiest conversation starters are "got any hobbies?" "What do you do?"

[Anonymous No.16549329]

>>16549207

Hmmm. Who are you.. SHERLOCK HOLMES?? Jeez... Things are fine thank you very much. My head is above the water. Who are you to say I'm not doing great... Maybe you're looking for a fight. I'd knock you out you internet fool. Did I say I wanted an opinion? Fantasising about being tortured is A-Okay. Just what the doctor ordered. It means I am strong. I crave an environment that pushes me to my limits. That pushes me over the edge. I crave suffering because suffering is noble. What do you fantasise about? 'Oh I want to backpack south america and fall madly in love and raise a family blah blah blah' PATHETIC. Fucking cretin. Move on. Go spit your bile somewhere else. You're comments are not wanted here. THEY ARE STUPID. End of story. Dick jockey motherfucker. I'll tell you one thing.... If you go around judging people like this youre going to face some hard truths in later life. You reap what you sow. Remember that. Cos one day youll look back and youll say... You know what, that anon was right. Because I'm always right. And you are very WRONG. I've wasted enough words on you. I hope you got the message. OK? OK

[Anonymous No.16549406]

>>16549296
I guess 20 is "too young to worry about things", but it still bothers me that most people at my age have a friend group and a relatively stable career path. I've pretty much wasted the past 3 years since I graduated hs. I'm now enrolled in a university to study philosophy. hopefully things will get better
>>16549305
I honestly hate the idea of smoking. It's such a useless waste of money to me. Same with alcohol. But I guess I'll have to start if I don't want to be that weirdo in the group...

[Anonymous No.16549410]

>>16549329
no judgement anon, but for me thoughts like that start creeping in whenever I'm doing worse. common fantasy is being sliced halfwaytrough, from the collarbone in a diagonal down through the gut, and kinda seeing myself like a wiggling, crooked V. in my experience living steeped in that shit for a long time can detrimental.

[Anonymous No.16549416]

>>16549406
they'll get better man, I promise. you'll meet the other weirdos at philosophy

[Anonymous No.16549698]

>>16543198
Nice demoralization porn, stop posting that shit.

[Anonymous No.16549893]

This is what it's come to
Whining on an image board
I DON'T WANT FRIENDS
I promise you
I want to be alone
Die alone
That would be beautiful
GO AWAY
Let me drink myself to death
That's all I want
I had an LSD trip
I turn everything negative
It is a disease in my brain
It spreads
There is no escape
There is no hope
I'll keep going
TO SPITE YOU
That's the only reason why
I'm smiling
I'm laughing
I'm dying
Why do I have to work so hard
TO CONVINCE EVERYONE I'M FINE
I am fine
FUCK YOU
I don't need a support network
I don't need a therapist
I am fine
You got to believe me
It's the human condition
I'm not special
Neither are you
I AM FINE
Can you not see?
Everything keeps going
You don't need to worry
We'll get there in the end
Yes, the leaves are falling off the trees
GOOD
Let them rot on the ground
Bring on the cold
Bring on the dark
That is how I like it
I dread spring
IT BRINGS FALSE HOPE
Maybe I'll burn myself alive
What a spectacle that would be
Up in flames
Leave me alone
STOP CONTACTING ME
I will not be part of your dreams
I am in a hole
LET ME KEEP DIGGING
That's my dream
I'm really getting somewhere
I'm on a journey
No, you cannot join me
I don't want you to
Why are you trying to be friends with me?
FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU
I am happy
I am content
My life is moving in the right direction
There is only one conclusion
Death?
Yes, now you're talking
Is this what it's come to?
Whining on an image board?
FUCK YOU
I AM FINE

[Anonymous No.16550206]

>>16548411

Thank you for your feedback

[Anonymous No.16550440]

>https://www.jacobinmag.com/2020/09/covid-19-pandemic-economy-us-response-inequality

pearl clutching libs and faux-lefties promoting ccp style lockdowns btfo

[Anonymous No.16550993]

>>16550440
Nuke America.

[Anonymous No.16551017]

>>16548113
I don't believe in God.

[Anonymous No.16551326]

Solid = Earth
Liquid = Water
Gas = Air
Plasma = Fire
Don't even know what I can be use this for. Probably some neo-fantasy trash.

[Anonymous No.16551775]

>>16551017
but God believes in you anon. why not just be fair about it eh?

[Anonymous No.16552025]

Wow, anarchists just shot another American in the middle of broad daylight.

[Anonymous No.16552419]

There's nothing outside of me, all is love and none are alien. However, I can't convince those who do not feel it coarse through their veins and crash out of their soul. Compassion and forgiveness bleed out of you as you walk, but you're to direct the surge.

You'll see these words and consider them platitudes right now, but you'll get there. When you do, we'll forgive you and welcome you to join us in empathy.

[Anonymous No.16552435]

It was not that your languid cries did not reach me
Nor was it that I had all too suddenly become deaf
Your gentle screams, like a live slug down the throat
Were, at best, repulsive to what senses they evoked

I could do naught but retch at your supposed caress
Had I glanced in your direction for even a single second
My regal air would immediately have been replaced
With a smell worthy only of bloody, muddy, decay

Not a moment after your birth were you dubbed wrong
You were meant to be of revered and Brahmin blood
But your dawn pointed to anything but your putative fate
Your existence was the result of a sordid agenesis
And it will never be anything but.

[Anonymous No.16552509]

I'm a sensitive little bitch due to childhood abuse and so I take every minor slight or annoyance directed at me from friends and loved ones as grievous and then push them away and isolate myself. I've never had a relationship last beyond 9 months because I always break up with them from this, and these days I don't even let anyone get close enough to dating because I push them away before it even gets there.

[Anonymous No.16552512]

>>16551326
Welp, fags...

[Anonymous No.16552757]

>tfw cuckold fetish
It's over lads...

[Anonymous No.16552996]

I just typed out a massive paragraph pouring my soul out and the browser crashed before I posted it. Truly epic metaphor for life.

[Anonymous No.16553094]

>>16540906
You made the right choice, pal. No one is ready to be a parent at 18. So many people have children young then break up with their girlfriend or boyfriend and royally fuck the kid up for the rest of their life.

[Anonymous No.16553099]

a video went viral of a schizophrenic woman freaking out mildly harassing a guy and throwing her dog at him. within two seconds i realized she was schizo, i scrolled down to the comments and saw 99% of them were like "wtf why she so crazy :P" and "i'd knock her the fuck out if she talked to me like that haha." one in a hundred comments was a normal person saying she's ill or needs help, and then those comments had a dozen replies each going "wtf shes being a bitch why wd u help a bitch lmao."

proles aren't even evil, they're just nothing at all. i wouldn't mind if they were evil, evil is a coherent position, evil is knowledge of good and bad and the desire to do bad. proles have no knowledge, they are just a raw stream of unstructured desire spilling all over the floor and stinking up the world. they're always happy they always know they're right they never have to face consequences because they wouldn't know a consequence if they suffered one. everything is structured for them everything is lowered to their level you can't ever be away from them. their toxic stinky shit smell infects everything because everything is designed with them in mind so even the walls around you are subtly prole because they expect you to be a prole. then of course the walls are made by proles so even the prole things are proled creating new more disturbing exponential levels of prole. talk to your friend about it and he's infected by prole smell too and has lowered expectations and just tells you to stop being so harsh on the proles and be more of a prole and what can you do that's just proles. i don't like bein around the undifferentiated raw mush that is supposed to make up the lowest basic material form of a human, haphazardly shaped into a mockery of a human as an afterthought, wearing sunglasses like weekend at bernie's, and i especially don't like when the sunglasses mushman then says "hullo friend i'm a person just like you we're the same and infact i'm cooler and better than you because you don't even know about cool sunglasses".

you can't escape by rising above because the SMELL invades your life from all angles. the SMELL is always there. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4dPLEhJwXs

[Anonymous No.16553385]

>>16553099
I saw a video where some prole bet a homeless lumpenprole a few dollars that he wouldn't do a flip. The lumpenprole did a flip and landed on his head. The prole was just laughing away "hahahah awww hahaha he went sleep! that n asleep! ha ha ha hahaha, get up and get yo money fool!" i'm like wow this dude landed on his fucking head on the pavement, that is a severe concussion at a minimum, he's not "asleep" he just suffered a massive brain injury. It turns out the dudes neck snapped so he couldn't move. Eventually an ambulance founded him and took him to the hospital. He died like a week later. All I could think was wow some people are almost inhumanely stupid. Like I could see teenagers pulling some shit like that, but these were all grown adults.

[Anonymous No.16553441]

>>16536110
i wish to write horror, but i am a talentless writer, a poor reader, and i don't even watch many horror movies or play many horror games. the only things i know about it are soundtrack tricks, which obviously don't work in a textual medium.

set out like that, perhaps i have already gone insane from excessive contact with italians.

[Anonymous No.16554385]

>>16552757
tfw quad amputee fetish

[Anonymous No.16554541]

Warosu is down, since yesterday at least.
I hope it gets back, there are a few threads that I have bookmarked but haven't processed yet and many won't be on archive.org/is

[Anonymous No.16554576]

>>16546325
Not all boards are good, in fact most are rather mediocre and not worth consulting when looking for good (technical) advice.
Making these posts usually takes more time and that's rather unattractive when the thread gets deleted or enters the archive fast. Classical forums are better in that case, since the one who is writing a good answer can build upon his personal brand. There is no reward on 4chan besides a 'thanks' or a good reply. Other places like Reddit, Facebook, Youtube have Karma points and Likes as another currency.
Either way the general and the specific recommendations are pretty good on /lit/ but there is no way to tell you what you will enjoy and what not. Giving good book recs is the one thing /lit/ excels. Don't bother about discussing books here unless it's a niche book few have read.

[Anonymous No.16554626]

Finally decided to start doing core exercises at the gym on Friday. Wanted to ease myself into it a bit so I just did five sets of twenty on a crunch machine after doing all my leg stuff, and now two days later I can't even try and sit up a bit without being in terrible amounts of pain. It's somehow far worse than second day leg soreness. I wish the Lord would take me now.

[Anonymous No.16554780]

>>16546325
> I'm kind of horrified by what passes for "knowledge" of the subject matter there
I've noticed this trend in everything I've become an expert in, once you actually get to know how things work you realize everyone a retard and only a few people actually know what they're doing.

>>16554576
many likes/karma/populatiry =/= "good"
which is what I like about here

[Anonymous No.16554785]

Why is it so hard to change your behaviour bro? I’m always embittered and like not to see anyone and have a resting face. With a personality like that I’m going to have problems someday.

[Anonymous No.16554877]

I just wish I could stop thinking about free will. I prepare food to eat, and before I sit down I thank God for the meal I'm about to partake in, and I think "surely of every breath is He the master; surely then it is He who sets my table". And then it sneaks in "but then who am -I-?" I know that He is Lord, that He made the earth and the paths therein to travel. I prepare food, but God prepares hunger, and God brings forth the bounty for me to eat of. I am unsure of what freedom could even mean for me. Some would say freedom is the freedom to pursue what you wish, unhindered. What do I wish for, then? And which of these wishes did I construe? None, none did I construe by my own choice. Then do I float through this existence like some single-cell microbe, triggered to movement by whatever chemical gradient my receptors pick up? If so then who is "I"? Why bring "I" into any of that? Because I has the strange task of wishing both for this life and the next. I is tasked with tending both to needs now, and what is needed for later. I wishes both to eat, and for communion with God, even though God will sate no immediate biological urge. Who is God then? God is just known. God created the trial that makes the pursuits of the I meaningful, including all manners of pitfalls of desire.

So is this "me" writing? The better question is "why would I care?" But if I do not believe in any change, any chance of change, then I will become dejected. If I can lean back and say "I will be pagan because if God wished it, then surely I would not want to be pagan", then this will not do. There must be the freedom to take a stand against desire. If there is not then there is no freedom at all, if freedom is the freedom to pursue what we want and we can assume that following desire is not always what we want, especially if we seek to please God. To the extent that this freedom to take a stand exists it is my belief that it comes about by a competing desire to do "good", which ultimately means a desire to please God, which is what we try to foster in ourselves. In that view it could be said that the moment of my freedom is my worship, because this is me preparing my will for the onslaught of desire by seeking instead satisfaction with the Lord. And may He lead me on the path most conducive of this satisfaction.

Desire of worldly things, then, and that which is prepared by worship, can be reasonably believed to be distinct from one another, as one is to be master of the other. This implies "free will" in two time-frames: one is the crucial moment of decision making, when desire for the world and desire for goodness clash, producing an action; and one between these crucial, I suppose moral, instances, when it is possible to prepare oneself, should one believe this to be worthwhile. I suspect this preparation is, then, the time when we are truly alive. Then let us abandon the crucible, and focus instead on the preparation of a choice, for there, I suspect, is freedom.

[Anonymous No.16554883]

>>16554877
There is a choice made in deliberation. If I am wise I pray not only when I am needed, but I pray before that I may be prepared when I am needed. The question then would be how that choice is made, what makes me believe that I need to do this preparation, and to what end? For many of us I would think this is a visceral choice, that knowledge of its necessity is sharply brought on by the realization that we have become sinners, and that being a sinner is a real thing. That's what happened for me. And that is a sharp realization of something to do with your "free" will, namely that you realize that you have been making choices that have herded you into becoming a foul human being. It wasn't a one-time choice, it was as a growth over the years. This is an important realization into the nature of evil. Evil is not forged in the crucible, it is a growth. And so whatever can become its master, this something would have to out-grow it. That we make pick the fruits of every-day choices. Do not BE loving, but let love grow. The axis around which these choices will turn is worship.

That choice is free, I can testify to it even if I can't explain it. It is deliberative, and you are presented with a situation. I suspect this is why sages sometimes say that there is a blessing in sin: because through sin there will be a revelation. This is also the magnificent genius of making daily prayer an obligation. There will be days when we are too weak to make the right choice on our own, when we will not wish to go out and weed the garden but would rather remain in bed. But if you truly believe that Gods punishment will be real should you neglect your duty to Him, the Lord the Worlds, who is to you Just, Ever Giving, Loving, to you a Friend, who is Merciful: then you will, God willing, not falter.

[Anonymous No.16554890]

>>16554883
In the end, perhaps, my shortcoming here is a form of lack of faith. I worry as to what I will eat and with what I will clothe myself, though the prophets all tell me not to. Perhaps this is why "I" feel the need to take a stand, because "I" still believe that I have to fend for myself. But no one fends for themself. This self-defense is driven by desire, and man is only faced with desire, he doesn't make it. In truth i think the task is something else entirely, that I'm lost in the woods, that the resolution is not here. Worship, I am sure, plays a part. Patience is probably the word. This struggle is desperate, but none will die but by His command; there is to be no desperation. These questions of the semantics of the soul, they are of the mind, but our task is the elevation of the heart above the mind. In the mind they may appear as equal, goodness and desire, as they are both objects of the mind. But the heart is free of desire, and yet it desires goodness. Wherever the answer is, the mind will not be there. And so the mind must learn patience, and it will do this when it learns its place. These questions of free will, they are only the mind pleading its case, but it is pleading against the heart, refusing to release it to goodness, which will be the salvation of all. It is "I" against myself, crudely fencing, claiming forever that these turns of phrases will justify- will JUSTIFY- "I" as a real counterpoint to God himself.. What unbearable folly.

Sit down! Tend to your garden! Your answer is not borne of your fight, so be quiet! Please, for once just be quiet.

[Anonymous No.16555341]

>>16554541
good to know i'm not the only one who this is happening to. i thought it was a problem on my side lol, tried on desktop/laptop/phone to no avail

[Anonymous No.16555430]

>>16553099
The prole response IS the normal response. They place themselves in the video, realize they'd be in a dangerous situation and would act to protect themselves. To comment on the women's health requires you to not place yourself within the video and instead rationally assess what to do with the women in a longer timeframe. Anyway its odd that you have empathy for the sick but not the prole, who too are deeply sick.

[Anonymous No.16555498]

The US military protects the American way of life - which is, our FREEDOM to consume. We are waging war and using our young people from impoverished zip codes as cannon fodder so they can go back home and buy more cheap oil, cheap coffee, and disposable plastic crap made in 3rd world countries and the profits go back to the corporations that have sent our jobs to those 3rd world countries.

[Anonymous No.16555668]

>>16554385
Tfw snuff fetish

[今晚打老虎 No.16555734]

life was a lot simpler, a lot easier, when i "hated" women.
i have a twisted yearning to return to "hating" women.
but in the same fashion that i dont hate mother nature for giving me swans and locusts, i find it harder to continue "hating" women.
my world view is shifting, and with it, all the unavoidable uncertainties and questions to be answered. things fall apart, the center cannot hold. i feel a depression spiral looming in the horizon.

[Anonymous No.16555781]

>>16536110
High time for your pills.

[Anonymous No.16555882]

>>16555734
I suggest turning 17 this year. That should solve this problem.

[今晚打老虎 No.16555981]

>>16555882
but im old as shit tho

[Anonymous No.16556052]

>>16555734
Just replace women with something else to hate. Like gender roles or white people.

[Anonymous No.16556066]

My grandma still won't wear a mask when she's in church. People that don't wear masks during this should be beaten with sticks.

[今晚打老虎 No.16556116]

>>16556052
thats even more retarded than hating women. at least i had a "fox and the grapes" reason to hate women.

[Anonymous No.16556280]

>>16549329
https://voca.ro/3adfxMoGbY7

[Anonymous No.16556539]

>>16556280

Omg thank you anon, This is GREAT. You gave me big smile. You brought my words to life. Awesome

[Anonymous No.16556790]

I'm sympathetic to some socialist analysis of current events and political economy, but my inner egoist can't help be taken aback by how haunted by spooks this ideology is. To be a worker, that is, to have the status of a wage-earner, is elevated to an exclusive, special status. In socialism proper, workers are not whatever they are--a myriad and heterogenous blob of inconsistent viewpoints, experiences and histories, but an enshrined and holy category whose exile from the halls of power and whose great mass has been denied its lawful and physical right to determine the gravitational pull of politics.
Anti-socialist right wing ideologies are no less spooked, don't get me wrong. This mystification of the idea of race, (The Race, My Race), the idolatrous nationalism (the love of the same nation that allows such foolish things to happen), the imbuing of weapons as some perfect corrective substitute for steep deficits of political power: these are nothing but ways to trick ourselves into chaining our minds, bodies and souls to some imagined matter of holy importance.
Such poltergeists of the brain cause immeasurable damage but it would seem that these possessions are rampant and we must clutch our magical charms---flags, slogans---ever more closely to our chests to hide ourselves from our own intellectual dishonesty.

[Anonymous No.16556814]

>>16556539
glad you liked it lmao. great energy

[Anonymous No.16557170]

Is it actually surprising whatsoever that the hairless ape has failed to create a well-functioning society? Wikipedia tells me that agriculture itself is estimated to have originated a mere 11,700 years ago, with that in mind its more surprising that anyone has even conceived of a better world, let alone before the industrial innovations of the past few hundred years essentially eliminated material want from the developed world. We are young, we are still far closer to beast than the superman, approaching anything higher is just a fluke.

[Anonymous No.16557326]

I am a physically insane lust machine. I need wet cotton panties and muscle lesbians in my life.

[Anonymous No.16557364]

>can barely find any footage of Hitler and the 3rd reich on youtube that isn't some comentary or a documentary
>search my nations versions of utube
>literally hundres of amv style videos of him and his speeches
nice

[Anonymous No.16557390]

>>16557364
youtube purged everything remotely right wing or frequented by right wingers, they even purged normal military songs

i remember they use to delete fascistball's channel all the time, i think it's still dead. all he did was upload old music lol. most of it wasn't even fascist

[Anonymous No.16557401]

>>16553099
>repeated use of spook phrase of choice
>hyper fixation on an arbitrary quality to channel hate through
Not bad anon, very unhinged manifesto style prose. Screenshotting to study

[Nemo !!GgBWHLRiayD No.16557554]

I am slightly conflicted regarding exclaiming to my closer acquaintences the wish for their birthdays to be "happy", since there is nothing particularly "happy" about aging in this world of lies.

[Anonymous No.16557618]

It's amazing how technology markets fame to zoomers. The appeal of social media is this idea that anybody can become a celebrity, by first becoming a hyphenated, e-celebrity. Cultivate a following. Create a mystique, induce a lust for your image. And all will fall into place. This fetishization of digitalized fame is a new example of capitalism's tendency to conjure up ever more rarified markets as it seeks to escape the corner it is painting itself into. The lie here is that the proportions of fame to no fame remain unchanged. Still only a a very small set of lucky ones will become successful of these sort of non-job influencer roles. Setting out to become one is like expecting a self-induced head-injury to awaken hidden intellectual savant powers. While there is a one in a million chance, the 999,999 other chances leave you damaged or no better off than before.

[Anonymous No.16557681]

>>16557364
>>16557390
holy, based free market???

[Anonymous No.16557723]

>>16536110
This is an excerpt from the things, a sort of half canon short story about the movie "The Thing" good short story

[Anonymous No.16557726]

>>16557681

[Anonymous No.16557772]

>>16547652
Very despondent and full of futility, i like

[Anonymous No.16557941]

words cannot express how much I hate /a/.

[Anonymous No.16557993]

>>16557364
I have no idea what was so appealing about his speeches. To me he looks like a guy who has one of his episodes, but instead of handling them alone in his room or under the shower, he does it in front of a crowd.

[Anonymous No.16558426]

I have analysed and streamlined my masturbation methods. A singly two ply sheet has lasted five ejaculates and is due to last at least one more before being retired. The use of two hands up to the point of orgasm brings great pleasure. Initial conjecture lead me to the greater mobility in one handed motion as the standard method but this does not mean it is the greatest. I am eternally grateful for my foreskin, the gliding skin along my shaft encircled by two palms and warm fingers compliments the softcore pornography blinking hyperseductively a hundred times a second from the screen. Just like shitting, a squat position is the most natural. This is emulated by planting feet on top of an upturned bucket bin under the cheap desk. Those monkeys sure know a thing or two, huh.

[Anonymous No.16558618]

i just saw some fucking degenerate run a stop sign and nearly mow down a toddler only to become angry with the father for chewing him out AFTER he had to yank his kid out of the minivan’s pathway. i’m so fucking tired of this bros! i wanted to beat this would-be babykiller’s face in with my fists but i have limp and ineffectual twink hands. i am baffled by the sense entitlement these goddamn retards all seem to have. i am SEETHING that this man nearly killed a baby and was mad that he had to experience a TINY, TINY FRACTION of the consequences he deserved. stupid worthless piece of shit.

[Anonymous No.16558649]

THE INTERNET, THE FUTURE AND SOCIETY
The internet was a promise, that one day the average person could choose their own destiny, gain eternal existence as a digital echo but this is wrong, and you know it. Born out of war, funded and spread by corporations, it's inevitable yet I was also wrong, it's our enemy and our only hope.
The average person is irrelevant, stupid and poor by design, fed lies to get them to work, but the internet might just win and we need to let it happen. Mass psychological damage has already been caused to our species, this is controlled damage but certain events lead to a schizophrenic behavior to all of society, random insanity. The internet needs to evolve, it needs to keep going, a certain type of damage to the species, not utopian at all, that's our only hope for all that makes humanity to be destroyed, satellites need to rule the earth, not AI but a digital soup.

[Anonymous No.16558679]

I have periods of huge activity, confidence and optimism in which I exercise regularly, eat well, get up on time etc, followed without much warning by periods where I can't see the point in getting off the couch, eat like shit, drink more and can't write anything. I don't know what causes this

Is it possible I'm bipolar? Some of the stuff I hear Nick Mullen mentioning about it sounds familiar, like getting obsessed with certain topics and the just dropping them. I can't really stick to things and I wonder if that's the reason

[Anonymous No.16558709]

The worst thing i feel many of our generation is going to have to endure is seeing all of our friends and peers driven insane over the next few decades. I'm watching my closest friends slowly descend into not doing well at all and it's hard to watch. It seems as if everyone I know is isolating themselves more than before and that doesn't seem healthy at all.

I can't even tell if these are just thoughts in my head or an actual phenomenon that I'm seeing. I'm not even entirely sure what I'm looking at but i can tell the world is becoming a less friendly place than before. It's hard for me to describe what I see, wish I could articulate it better

[Anonymous No.16558716]

/lit/ i have a serious issue with starting multiple books at once and reading half of each of them and not finishing for a long time. by the end of the year i want to clear out my "currently reading" on goodreads 100%. why do i do this shit? if i have 50 books read for the year i'll have an additionaly 25 in currently reading.

[Anonymous No.16558726]

>>16536110
Been thinking about Schopenhauer's porcupine dilemma a lot recently.

[Anonymous No.16558727]

>>16558726
>One cold winter's day, a number of porcupines huddled together quite closely in order through their mutual warmth to prevent themselves from being frozen. But they soon felt the effect of their quills on one another, which made them again move apart. Now when the need for warmth once more brought them together, the drawback of the quills was repeated so that they were tossed between two evils, until they had discovered the proper distance from which they could best tolerate one another. Thus the need for society which springs from the emptiness and monotony of men's lives, drives them together; but their many unpleasant and repulsive qualities and insufferable drawbacks once more drive them apart. The mean distance which they finally discover, and which enables them to endure being together, is politeness and good manners. Whoever does not keep to this, is told in England to 'keep his distance.' By virtue thereof, it is true that the need for mutual warmth will be only imperfectly satisfied, but on the other hand, the prick of the quills will not be felt. Yet whoever has a great deal of internal warmth of his own will prefer to keep away from society in order to avoid giving or receiving trouble or annoyance.

[Anonymous No.16558729]

does anyone else really love moving to a new apartment every year? i realize i hate being in the same place too long. it gets boring and i feel stagnant and frustrated. i think i could never buy a house. there's nothing at all wrong with my current apartment and i'm scramblign to move to a new one just to freshen things up. and it makes me so excited thinking of rearranging the furniture and cleaning and packing everything up and enumerating my possessions and taking trips to the thrift store for additional furnishings needed. and i say that as a relative 'minimalist' whose sum of possessions could fit into an SUV with room to spare

ahhhhh i want to move!

[Anonymous No.16558736]

>>16558716
Work out how many books you can handle at one time and stick to it. I generally stick to 3 because I can find enough time to read some from each almost every day, which avoids the trap of just putting it down for a few days and then never returning.

If you're really struggling then create a schedule and follow it

[Anonymous No.16558752]

There are few things more frustrating than knowing what's wrong and being unable to do about it. To be alienated in your knowlege of the truth.

[Anonymous No.16558887]

There's no culture is my brag
Your taste for bullshit reveals a lust for a form of office
This is the home of the vain
This is the home of the vain
Where are the obligatory niggers?

[Anonymous No.16559017]

>>16551775
That's stupid, I might as well stop eating pork, it's all the same to me because I don't believe it.

[Anonymous No.16559043]

>>16537345
lmao I have the same problem accept I only find 4-6 out of tens incredibly attractive. Anyone above that I immediately block out and I don't build an attraction to them. I'm pretty average looking so that is probably why. You are probably just not that good looking. Its like an evolutionary adaption to being ugly.

[Anonymous No.16559052]

>>16540637
Based

[Anonymous No.16559178]

>reading happily
>suddenly 15 solid pages of french
>have to bumble through it, even reading it aloud i only understood about 1/3 in gist
what's the point of a translation if you do this? fuck

[Anonymous No.16559513]

People here are so smart all the time, I don't really have any deep thoughts about anything nor do I come to any conclusions about anything.

Maybe it's because because I don't feel deeply about anything?

[Anonymous No.16559555]

Getting to a point in college where I skip entire assignments because I know my grade can take the hit and I just don't care enough to do it.

[Anonymous No.16559582]

>>16559555
same except idk how I will fare

[Anonymous No.16559706]

>>16559178
War & Peace?

[Anonymous No.16559743]

>>16559513
Based on your pic I'd say it's because you're a sucker for the shallow and superficial

[Anonymous No.16559765]

>>16558426
Thanks for the kek anon

[Anonymous No.16559795]

This kid is the first millenial saint.

[Anonymous No.16559864]

Boys I've been on a downward spiral the past couple of weeks and I'm not sure how to get out of it

[Anonymous No.16559889]

I'm going to try to start writing more.

Before a raid, the entire platoon meets around the hooch’s to do a roll call for the flight manifest. The platoon sergeant calls out each name, waiting to hear a response. “Hear sergeant!” “Kill!” “Roger sergeant!” During the roll call each squad, team, and individual performs a complete check of all their equipment. This is done to the point of compulsion. Mags are filled, rifles loaded, ties downs secure. Extra batteries, check. Med bag, grenades, goose rounds, radio, water, food, zip-ties, IR strobe, eye-pro, fast rope gloves, chem lights, safety tether, all checked, and more.

Before walking out to the flight line, you need to adjust the focus on your NODs. There is a sweet spot in the adjustment that allows you to see clearly at distance. When I was a private, I was taught to look up at the stars and adjust the lens until their light was clear.

[Anonymous No.16560072]

>>16559864
I'm thinking about taking a full time job just for something to do.

[Anonymous No.16560290]

>>16536922
This is a a very good and insightful post anon. Deserves at least one (You). Thanks for sharing.

[Anonymous No.16560376]

>>16559864
>weeks
Your're like a little baby to me. Try a year.

[Anonymous No.16560378]

My halfsister was posting on instagram with the other half of my family. Feel really bad, like they don't really care for me to be a part of their life. Not even my real (biological) father. I only recently found out about this and I feel like they gave me the curtosey of meeting with them once but, maybe they realize I'm just not worth their time. I mean it's probably not exactly the case but I feel awful about it. Like I'm im unworthy

[Anonymous No.16560410]

/sci/ is pretty reddit. Not that smart

[Anonymous No.16560483]

>>16545593
wear a condom

[Anonymous No.16560499]

I'm trying to think of an analogy, a simple phrase or word to describe someone who has a long history of doing scummy things, but lately has regretted doing so, greatly atoned for it, and became monumentally better as a human being, but the scummy things that person did were so heinous and were being done for so long that even at that person's best, you still see him as the scumbag you knew. Does that make sense?

[Anonymous No.16560523]

>>16560378
what does this have to do with you?

[Anonymous No.16560530]

>>16560499
Redemption, I think, has levels and complications to it. If we consider every action as a vote to the person you are, then the more votes it will take to counter balance and create a majority in the pile of good deeds. The good deeds do not, and will never, erase the things one has done. History occurs and can’t be taken back. But one can try to become a better person. A different person. And those actions should be respected. Forgive, but do not forget. People can change, but it takes a long time.

[Anonymous No.16560619]

I can't write fiction unless it's in a university setting, or at least has some university parts. It's tiresome.

[Anonymous No.16560728]

>>16537345
>in addition to watching pokemon
Please explain

[Anonymous No.16560769]

>>16540795
>white privelege, which I think is real
Rich faggot projects his impostor syndrome on his whole race. I hope you'll be forced to meet reality some day. It will be a rude awakening.

[Anonymous No.16560844]

The opening of Hidamari Sketch x365 reminds me of my neet years so vividly. It may be extremely pathetic but I just haven't enjoyed life ever since I went to university.
I miss being a neet.

[Anonymous No.16561144]

>>16555341
archived.moe still works, but it has nothing from the time before May 2016.

[Anonymous No.16561774]

Americans always pretend to be horrified by honor killings in traditional cultures in western and south Asia, but if you think about it, American culture condones similar things. If someone says the n-word and gets killed, most people would say they deserved it, or "play stupid games win stupid prizes" etc. and anyone who doesn't agree would basically be considered a white supremacist. Honor killings bother people a little more because the killer is generally a relative, and in America most people wouldn't kill their own family member because they said the n-word, but if an American's family member was killed by a random person or a mob in the street after uttering the n-word, their family would most likely say it was justified. At least in honor killings you have to display a pattern of thot behavior over time, in America if you say the forbidden word once, you are essentially an outlaw who can be attacked or killed by anyone.

[Anonymous No.16561798]

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSTd1ZZ_Jcs

I can't believe they are making the supreme court nominee wear a fucking mask while evil WASPs and others slander her for being a Catholic.

[Anonymous No.16562018]

At the point where attempting to keep a gf is futile, I'm not worthwhile as a social entity. Not even an incel, girls lead me on and use me for sex after they break up with some other cuck. I barely desire sex anymore. I'm attractive physically and repulsive in many other ways. I want a band of similarly retarded individuals to drink soma and invade central asia with

[Anonymous No.16562106]

>>16557554
when I was

[Anonymous No.16562497]

>>16560483
She wouldn't let me get away with anything else, though she does blowjobs without.

[Anonymous No.16562499]

>>16560523
It doesn't. Just drunk and depressed last night... Worried I'm being rejected by a family I don't even know

[Anonymous No.16562545]

>>16560378
Talk to your sister.

[Anonymous No.16562551]

>>16537345
Like Descartes. I wonder if I have anything like that in my subconscious.

[Anonymous No.16562871]

My girlfriend won't even consider cucking me with a butch lesbian. I told her to at least keep an open mind and she won't even do that. I feel defeated.

[Anonymous No.16563352]

>>16562871
wouldnt that be cuckqueening
I'd be happy to step in if she likes

[Anonymous No.16563388]

>>16536110
I'm indecisive, should I go the the movie theatre to see an old movie or read tonight?

[Anonymous No.16563482]

>https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8831975/HIV-positive-Nashville-softball-player-sentenced-six-years-jail-knowingly-exposing-women.html

Why didn't he just move to California? It's legal to knowingly infect people with HIV there.

[Anonymous No.16563588]

Look at this guy.

[Anonymous No.16563615]

>>16537693
Oh wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder.

[Anonymous No.16563660]

I just realized I can't kill myself right now because people will think the lockdown isolation or the end of the world hysteria got to me.

[Anonymous No.16563669]

>>16540818
Bro you just need to try a different strain bro

[Anonymous No.16563980]

>>16563660
conas

[Anonymous No.16563988]

>>16559795
GAMER SAINT

[Anonymous No.16564461]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U-6nA2E26o

[Anonymous No.16564675]

>>16536110
Friendly reminder to all that we are all sinners that can't stop sinning and are on our way to the everlasting hellfire unless we trust in Christ alone (Faith Alone) for salvation.

Jesus Christ, the Son of God, died for all your life's sins (your future sins too), and rose again.

Ask Jesus to save you if you believe he died for you and rose again.

In John 5:24, Jesus said:
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.

Once saved, always saved, because you can't lose everlasting life. It goes on forever once you recieve it by faith.

[Anonymous No.16564836]

Worried about not using my time properly. I fear everyone else knows what to do and is making great strides but I'm just punching in the wrong direction. I fear everyone elses live fall into place with less effort and that I'm just plagued with overthinking. What to do?

[Anonymous No.16564864]

>>16564675

Any supposed God that punishes and holds guilt over you is not God its a Dog an inverted God peddled to you by Satanists out to destroy the teachings of Jesus

[Anonymous No.16565114]

>>16562871
>I feel defeated

Isn't that the point of being cucked anyway?

[Anonymous No.16565151]

Saw a girl two years ago, arthoe graphic designer with a great ass but terrible tits. Sex was great, real physical connection. After four months she pulled the plug on it over whatsapp, I've never quite got over it (lot of things went wrong in my life very close to that time which I think amplified things)

I've been in a relationship with a much better girl for a year and am very happy, she's a much better gf than the arthoe, apart from the sex.

For some reason I'm still hung up on the arthoe, she's got a new bf now, they've been together like a year, some pictures came up on social media of them and I'm absolutely seething even though I have no reason to be whatsoever

How do I forget about this bitch? My current gf is better in almost every way, so it's not like I want to get back together with the arthoe, so I don't know why I can't get her out of my head

[Anonymous No.16565171]

>>16565151
Damn bruh I felt this
Best of luck

[Anonymous No.16565179]

Is everyone around anyone else just tired and done with COVID? Barely anywhere where it's not put on a door people are not wearing masks. Employees/customers. People around me gather without masks. Cops don't even wear them. It's like it's just gone away despite the rising numbers and people are done besides the fact it's still around and growing.

Southern USA, if it matters.

[Anonymous No.16565190]

As I stand here in the shower singing opera and such
Pondering the possibility that I pull the pud too much
There's a scent that fills the air
Is it flatus?
Just a touch

And it makes
Me think of
You.

[Anonymous No.16565366]

>>16565179
In NYC they are targeting Orthodox Jewish neighborhoods for new lockdowns and just gave out $150,000 worth of fines in those zip codes. It was just the biggest Jewish holidays of the year recently, so it seems kind of fucked up to target them like that, as if Christians aren't going to see a spike after Christmas.

Ask yourself if some government used claims of elevated levels of disease in Jewish neighborhoods as an excuse to close their business and houses of worship if you would find that problematic. Well, it's not hypothetic. It's literally happening right now. Mayor and governor both Democrats by the way.

[Anonymous No.16565554]

I was at Barnes and Noble on Saturday. The cashier was cute and she commented she read another entry in the series of a book I was purchasing. I clammed up and looked at the counter the whole time without saying a word. I didn't even want to ask her out, just keep the conversation going.

I work public sector in the shittiest district, meaning I get shit pay but do three times as much work. The district has been up our ass about getting shit done because of the pandemic despite our reduced work force. The thought of losing my job makes me want to kill myself as I'd rather die than live with the shame of being a NEET. The only reason I haven't blown my brains out is it would ruin my mom's life

I wrote a romance novel to simulate the experience of having a girlfriend. So far only.my therapist has read it. She pretty much knows it's a power fantasy starring a blatantly obvious self insert.

[Anonymous No.16565570]

>Reposting my autism from /diy/
The more advanced technology gets, the more inconvenient it gets. day by day, everything gets a little more tedious; another mouse click for the same operation, another step before installation. Think carefully, when was the last time you bought something electric and the only step was to plug it in? Dryers, Ovens, Microwaves, first time setups, connect to WiFi, balance refrigerants, start up procedures, ask the AI home-keeper, Attach warning stickers because one child 30 years ago got crushed, conform to inane safety lockouts. Live is made to mimic work, every action requiring an itinerary of checks and re-checks. Old toilets used too much water, lets turn 2 moving parts into 6 and cut the water in half, but now you must flush twice to clear last night's Mexican mess. LED lights that are integrated into a fixture: No bulbs to change! Must get an entire new refrigerator if they go out. Soon we'll have to complete a checklist just to die.

[Anonymous No.16565958]

>>16565171
Thanks breh

[Anonymous No.16566490]

I've been feeling too old for 4chan for a year.

[Anonymous No.16566548]

>>16548244
sounds like my wife

[Anonymous No.16566637]

>>16565179
Yeah I’m in the Northeast. I still wear mine and only go to the store once week. I’ve been back in the office since May and don’t wear a mask there because nobody else does and because I have my own room for a workspace.
Nobody seems to care very much anymore, I haven’t seen anyone mention “flattening the curve” for months. The BLM stuff and herding kids back into colleges then sending them home again destroyed the pretense of it being anything more than however much you personally want to do to avoid getting sick.

[Anonymous No.16566687]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Kq-lyySptk

[Anonymous No.16566695]

>>16566490
I was 13 once too.

[Anonymous No.16567320]

>>16563660
what do you care? you'll be dead anyway

[Anonymous No.16567426]

>>16567320
that's a dumb question, he can predict the results now while alive

[Anonymous No.16567434]

>>16563660
You could write a note explaining that it is not the case. Best to keep on living though, you can't be accused of such normie reasoning then.

[Anonymous No.16567488]

>>16567426
yeah, but he won't be alive to witness them, so what does it matter?

[Anonymous No.16567516]

I was going to read today but it's one of those days the words appear all out of order and nothing makes sense. So I'll sit on 4chan for six plus hours.

[Anonymous No.16567809]

I'm having such painful dissonance with the world today.

All these disparate things are just pricking my mind like sharp plastic bristles on fresh, newborn skin. Democracy in my country is breaking, and all our institutions are failing. There is no safe recourse for the poor and unpowerful. Hospitals will outright deny you help and let you to die in the street. Our data and information is compromised and everyone powerful is seeking to make encryption impossible. The fucking air is unsafe to breathe. It's unsafe to leave. I haven't seen family or friends in two months. It seems there's no one out looking for out best interests anymore. Every part of what matters to me feels as if it's being torn before my eyes.

Please, God, someone wise tell me what to do. Somebody please help me.

[Anonymous No.16567859]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH GOD FUCK NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I'M LOSING MY MIND OH GOD PLEASE HELP SOMEBODY HELP ME

[Anonymous No.16568059]

I downloaded TikTok and just spent two hours on it. I have never reached a lower point in my life.

[Anonymous No.16568102]

>>16568059
Uninstall immediately, the Chinese government is spying on you through it

[Anonymous No.16568347]

Don't judge me too harshly, this is something I wrote in my dreams notebook just after waking up this morning at 5AM, this is a dream I had last night:

Žižek ordered a crepe from a street vendor who happened to be Foucault (I was driving him in my car, he was in the passenger seat), the crepe was full of cheese and potatoes (Savoyard style).
Foucault explained to me that a good crepe can be recognised by the fact that it doesn't stick to the pan, nor does it break or tear despite the heat (I don't know if any of this is true, but Foucault seemed very adamant). He explained this very thing at least 5 times, everytime he would thoroughly demonstrate that his crepe was not sticking, breaking or tearing, thus proving that his crepes were of high quality. At some point he did draw a parallel between the crepe not sticking and some philosophical principle that I unfortunately cannot recall, but it seemed very reasonable to me at the time.
This entire process was very long, and as a result, Žižek got really mad. He really wanted his crepe, and he wanted it now.

This outburst of Žižek seemed to entertain Foucault, as he purposefully lengthened the whole cooking process. I watched idly by as Žižek was uncontrollably snorting and spitting all over my dashboard as he was arguing with Foucault. Then I woke up.

[Anonymous No.16568409]

I had a lucid dream last night. In the dream I was thinking what would happen if I killed myself in the dream. Then I questioned if it really was a dream. I remember thinking how real the autumn leaves look. I imagined telling people in the afterlife that I killed myself because I thought it was a dream. Then I thought that it has to be dream because I had no recollection of getting where I was. I thought I would just go along with the dream instead of trying to control it. I found myself walking into a small rural town. I found a bar in a workers club and walked in. I ordered a pint for £3.40 and the nice barman brought it over to me. Lots of miners came in and they started drinking too. I remember thinking the pint didn't taste that good. Then I woke up. Pretty cool.

[Anonymous No.16568477]

>>16568409
You had a pint with the lads, I'd say it was a pretty good dream

[Anonymous No.16568511]

>>16568347
Kek

[Anonymous No.16568691]

>>16568409

Weird I had a dream last night too my dreams seem to happen sparsely but they leave me awestruck every time
I think if I had dreams more often I would be a massively more creative person through the inspiration my dreams give me
I don't know if my dreams are lucid but I prefer them whatever way they are because they always feel so grandiose fantastical and surreal nothing like real life kind of like a movie but still more detached from reality than that while being very real feeling it's hard to describe
I always get so immersed in my dreams to the point that when I wake up I feel as though I could've lived another lifetime within the dream and I don't want to leave it although I can never quite tell exactly how long the dream timeline really spans
Last night I dreamt I was in some vast snowy wilderness completely covered in snow sort of searching for civilization trying to survive but things never felt dire or scary I always feel like I'm in my dreams but also that I'm somehow watching the journey unfold as well almost like I'm the actor and the audience but I'm always still there inside the dream
Anyway I end up finding a large round abandoned building tucked away off the path it's a very mysterious building that seems like it was used by the FBI or some shadowy organization at some point I crash through the front glass doors for some reason and there's someone inside who helps me somehow the details always become muddied in my dreams and it feels like there are so many of them and so much happens I can never keep it straight or get a full vision of it
There's also a parallel story going on in the dream with a mysterious helmeted figure also travelling through the snowy landscape I can't tell if it's me or not but at some point I briefly recall seeing them in a facility as well I can't tell if any of this story is happening concurrently with my story or at some other point in time
Eventually I find civilization somehow although I feel like it happens twice once with a rural town then again later I find bigger more modern civilization with larger gaps of details in between finding these places
At the end of the dream (and there are other people with me at this point somehow) despite finding civilization which I thought was my goal all along I set off again I'm not sure where but I get the strong feeling we're going in the wrong direction

[Anonymous No.16569045]

>>16568477

Like the autumn leaves. It was a good dream. Nice one

[Anonymous No.16569087]

It must feel good having people arrange nice stuff for you

[Anonymous No.16569115]

>>16568477
comfy. wish I lived in something like that

[Anonymous No.16569622]

I don't know how to open conversations on Tinder. I'm afraid I'll sound too autistic, I ponder on what to say and in the end I don't send a message. Even when the conversation has started it's the same for every message I send and I end up not looking at the replies because I'm too stressed if the girl is interesting and I don't want to cope with the stress if the girl is uninteresting. I signed up because I wanted to fight my social anxiety but I feel it doesn't work at all. can a chad help me please?

[Anonymous No.16569851]

>>16569622
I used Tinder for months and while I got matches and dates, it never really worked out because most girls view Tinder as a fuck-app, most were shallow, superficial and uninteresting

If you really want to meet someone interesting I'd suggest OkCupid

[Anonymous No.16569895]

>>16569622
Low effort but be specific. I got a date once by bitching about how my power had just gone out; turned out hers had too so we started talking. Just bring up random stuff you're thinking about, don't let yourself think for longer than one minute.

[Anonymous No.16569984]

I'm religious but my father is not. I visited him the last couple of days. I don't drink but he got drunk and we talked about all kinds of things. It seems he wants more than anything to believe but he can not. I asked him if he had tried praying to God for an opening, and he said he had but he didn't feel there was an answer. I quoted Jesus about beating on the door and he very rapidly said "I know all of those things". It's somewhat of a mystery to me. At one point he said very meekly that he wished he had a kind of an understanding of everything, like I do. Of course I don't know everything or anything like that, but things have a place and a meaning for me. More or less anyway. He's a hyper rationalist. The recurring thing is that he can't seem to accept the idea of there existing intentionality underpinning everything. He kept rambling about evolution and how everything could be a result of chance. At the same time he agrees only humans have free will, which would mean that everything but human activity is pre-desinted, which would mean evolution is not up to chance. I think it's two things really: 1. he had a hard life, and he can't accept the idea that an all-merciful God could be behind that; 2. he very much is whatever goes on in his mind. But religion is heart over mind. He's stuck in this classic thing of having to understand, when understanding is not possible. I really got the impression that this cripples him and keeps him from what he actually wants, which is faith. It's like this is the result of constantly giving yourself over, of basing yourself entirely on material values over a life of 60+ years. That's what has protected him in this life, his intellect. But the thing is that in front of God it is not good enough that you adapt materially. If you pray only for this life, then you will have this life but you will have nothing else. I think he spent his whole life fighting, and he did this with his intellect, but now his heart is so weighed down by these material things that it can not be set free by faith. Earlier, I admit although this was not right and I regret it, I did sometimes speak more to him about religion in the hopes that it might inspire him. Now I think doing so would be cruel. That he is a victim of a hapless mistake. I believe he wishes he could believe, and that the fact that he can not is genuinely traumatic. So I guess all there is to do is to be nice to him and answer his questions when he asks them.

[Anonymous No.16569993]

>>16560769
there's little doubt I'd be dead if I were not upper middle class. but then that's a major counter-factual so who knows.

[Anonymous No.16570004]

>>16569895
this, literally just make small talk and try to stumble into some related topics that are interesting or that prove you have some sort of uncommon insight (you're on /lit/, hopefully your IQ is at least in high midwit tier)
of course this only works if you're at least hot

[Anonymous No.16570048]

Dear god, I hate most women and the generations of simps who made me hate women.

[Anonymous No.16570057]

>>16570048
The women that I don't hate I dislike.

[Anonymous No.16570070]

>>16569984
Why did you not tell him about how absurd his line of thought about evolution and chance is? Surely events caused by chance are caused by something, everything has a cause. How can beings with limitations avoid the concept of god? If there is something beyond our understanding, like the creation of the universe or existence itself, how else can you explain it other than god?

[Anonymous No.16570075]

>>16570048
You should hate the weak man you are.

[Anonymous No.16570311]

Dude! You know what would dope af? If some fast food place came out with a BLM meal! After you finish shopping for your black skinny jeans at Antifamart, you head over to the food court to get a McBLM with and a large Woke Coke! It's vegan and the 100% recyclable container is covered in black fists! Fuck yeah! I'm loving it!

[Anonymous No.16570316]

>>16569622
That's how I felt at first using it and eventually you just become numb. My first attempt at talking to a girl I said something completely normal and earnest, and she went "wow lmao" or something, so I just stopped caring unless the girl was really special. Most of my best luck on Tinder was from being an asshole, or even better, from not having any interest in the girl at all. For some reason whenever I had no interest they would always be more interested. When I started getting tired of the app and spacing out on dates completely, because I was only going on them by forcing myself, my luck increased sharply.

The real chad advice is that it's a rigged game and not worth playing. If you're above average physically you can get some ok play on dating apps, especially if you are smart/funny and know how to game it so you demonstrate intelligence/humor right away. But you have to get good at doing it asap, before she loses interest, and you have to have a very high tolerance for fizzles, and always for humiliations.

Every random 4-6/10 girl now intuitively knows, doesn't think but knows, that you would be lucky if she gave you the time of day. By even participating in this you are dignifying it and submitting to it, so be ready for lots of stupid bitches acting like you're beneath them, and giving you no way to rescue your dignity from that.

My advice: the fucking millisecond a girl isn't positively an option anymore, erase her from your mind. Do not reply, do not send a comeback (unless you are bantering and switching gears to being a dick after a fumble, which can work and is a good backup for when bitches get sassy). If she starts being rude or condescending, do not even look at her picture. She is dead to you the instant she isn't a possible date anymore. Practice numbing yourself to women. Visualize them as all merely potential sex, not as individual real people, until one becomes actual sex. Take as many good shots as possible and disengage, never throw good money after bad, never count eggs until hatched. You will still get jerked around, but you will learn your lesson eventually. Don't build shit up in your mind either, let it be what it is until it happens or doesn't happen.

If you are extremely above average you don't need advice, do whatever you want and you will be fine. Just wear protection. The above advice is all for if you are somewhat above average, tall, and preferably white. You can still get laid then but it's lots of work, all of it degrading.

>I'm too stressed if the girl is interesting and I don't want to cope with the stress if the girl is uninteresting.
You are too good a person to be doing it. You are trying to treat them like people and you feel dishonest when they are boring. You will become numb to this over time but don't let your actual nice autism soul die in the process.

[Anonymous No.16570353]

continuing from >>16570316
>>16569622
>I'm afraid I'll sound too autistic, I ponder on what to say and in the end I don't send a message.
Stop caring, seriously. Even if these were normal women I would advise you to stop caring but they aren't, they are tinder whores, they are talking to a thousand men at a time. They use tinder like you use 4chan, it's a way to kill time and socialize. They use it more to fantasize about the very attractive matches than to actually consider going on a date with a guy like you.

That should show you how fucking disgusting dating apps are but it should also remove all the stakes.

One thing you really need to lose is your embarrassment at looking stupid to the girl herself. A woman's opinion is totally meaningless. They don't even have real thoughts if they're the kind of women who use tinder. Instead, worry about whether you are being stupid objectively, like if a third party observer saw your conversation would he call you an autistic cringe fag? That's always worth thinking about because you want to have dignity objectively, and you obviously don't want to say some screenshottable incel rage shit that will just give her an opportunity to be vindictive.

But actually caring what a woman thinks? Why? She's on TINDER dude. That's like caring what a lamp post thinks of you. They don't even have consistent internal rules for what constitutes being an alpha male or "being confident." Just be actually confident, take your shots, assess the data after your shots mostly fail, then do your best to augment your strengths and work on your weaknesses and restart the process.

If you can, keep your eye out for that one other chick who wishes she wasn't on dating apps and try to get an actual girlfriend instead of fucking disgusting pig tinder whores. Warning: 99% of chicks who would identify as "omgggg i am totally that girl who doesnt want to be on tinder either :/ im not a thot at all" are MASSIVE THOTS. Good luck dating in 2020.

[Anonymous No.16570405]

>>16569851
>>16569895
>>16570316
Thanks a lot anons, it feels good to hear that it doesn't matter.
>if you are smart/funny and know how to game it so you demonstrate intelligence/humor right away.
Yeah that's pretty much what I go for because I'm very much average looking. But as I said my problem is mainly social anxiety and I'm on Tinder as some kind of exercise, the main problem is that trying to be smart/funny can quickly make me go back to my deeply anchored doubts but that's why I need to numb this.
Also don't worry about the autism, I've decided a long time ago that I wasn't happy if I couldn't be autistic. I successfully made it possible to be autistic around my friends and most social situations, the main thing missing is intimate relations (and administration, you can't be autistic when dealing with administration). I fear being non-autistic.

[Anonymous No.16570425]

>>16570353
One more thing, don't try to apply formulas from reddit mgtow incel PUA shit either, don't try to play a character. It can help to fake it until you make it, but the "it" you fake should still be genuine and more about vibe. Too many guys overcorrect against their innate (and completely normal and good btw) niceness and natural inability to conceive of women as retarded whores to be manipulated into sex by thinking they have to become some turbonormie caricature and send corny pickup lines and emojis. That shit works for metrosexual Chads with frosted hair who could send anything and do well.

That's why tinder is disgusting. Picture it vividly for what it is, a few Chads who don't have to try, fucking most of the girls, girls whom you then pathetically try to chat up and impress. There is a tinder aristocracy of people who don't have to try (chads/women) and then there is the teeming mass of people who have to try, and who occasionally get a few crumbs.

Last piece of advice, inevitably you will do well on tinder and get some BPD whore gf with no ambitions who uses social media all day (discord for e-girls, normie social media for normies). You will inevitably think she's an angel and mistake all her boring basic dime a dozen mental illness for "complexity" and let her ruin your life. I won't advise you against that because it won't prevent it anyway, but at least know when to cut it off.

Learn to evaluate women as men. That's part of learning not to care about their judgements anymore, because if you evaluate them in the same way as you evaluate men, you will inevitably see them as very shitty low ranking ones.

Sorry for writing you a novel I just don't want a nice autist getting jerked around by more thots. Your instincts of finding tinder horrifying are 100% normal. Any normal human would find such grotesque dystopian social norms confusing. They're "weird," not you. But if you still want to fuck them then go for it.

[Anonymous No.16570467]

>>16570405
Just be ready for lots of pain if you're awkward, since the majority of women can't understand why your brain's primary focus in life is anything other than knowing how to look cool when you select a $35/meal restaurant for your shitty date with a college arthoe who has chlamydia (not joking, happened to me more than once).

>the main problem is that trying to be smart/funny can quickly make me go back to my deeply anchored doubts but that's why I need to numb this
You have to learn to cultivate an artificially smooth exterior persona that leverages your sense of humor without exposing the more interesting, authentic sides of it that you share with trusted friends. Women often can't appreciate the latter unless they already like you and they'll interpret things like self-deprecation and self-awareness as weakness (sometimes they are, to be fair, if they've become crutches).

Unfortunately that's mostly something that comes with experience. Keep putting yourself out there, just don't lose your sense of self in it. Try to find the rare decent girl on the app and don't get discouraged. Just don't then pin your entire identity to that girl when she comes, either. That's as dangerous as fatalistic inceldom, sometimes even more.

Remember, these women are far more damaged than you are. It's just masked by social structures that normalize it. They are basically validation-from-sex junkies in a society that aggressively asserts this as normal.

[Anonymous No.16570513]

>>16570467
>>16570425
>>16570353
>>16570316
depressing but very good read
t. not that guy but also a sperg.

[Anonymous No.16570574]

>>16570075
I can break you in half you bitch

[Anonymous No.16570605]

>>16570574
don't hurt your wimpy wrist trying you tranny! :D

[Anonymous No.16570618]

>>16559795
>Attributes: laptop, rosary, blessed sacrament
>Patronage: youth, computer programmers
LOL

[Anonymous No.16570749]

Fuck, there is no solace if you are not Negroid or female. Almost the entire modern Western culture is dominated by two aspects, the feminine and the Negroid. I go to the gym and instead of hearing repetitive drums that boosts discipline or at least something aggressive and visceral I hear EDM and Snoop Dog. I glance at what goes in the TV and every debate is filled with virtue signalling and passive aggression. I am not even American, not even European and yet this spiritual cancer has easily paved its way to this obscure land. There is nothing that I can respect in people anymore. Willpower is ridiculed unless it is an act of willpower reinforced by dogma, respecting strength is now brutish, barbaric and stupid, loyalty, even if real and existing in people, cannot form for most of us because of our capitalistic way of life that destroys the unit of the close knit community. I look at my own parents and it irritates me to interact with them and their inconsistent, insincere thoughts that is now so widespread. There is no more moral axis that the Western individual bases his beliefs and principles on. Maybe this was a result of secularization or Abrahamization or maybe this is the natural state of man to be so apathetic to the truth. I wish people formed their beliefs according to what powerful individuals believe, that would be far better than what I see now, but it is not power that grants social status anymore, but being undignified and exploiting the animalistic human urges and/or accumulating slave morality points. A bunch of weasels, whores and tricksters. How can I gain calm when there is so much decadence and would it even be righteous to be calm in this situation. I wish I can have the guarantee that there will be a collapse, a reset, but I will never know, thus I will always contemplate about a world where humans are in an eternal cycle of reproduction just to fall prey to vices and self-destroy. How does one then find solace if he lives in the era of self-destruction, surrounded by the majority of roaches and the minority of those who just gave up or fruitlessly rebelled.

[Anonymous No.16570814]

>>16569622
There's a good sentece I've read on /lit/ about this topic. An Anon said:

>playing the clown for a thot inside a chat

It's really a solid advice. It can push you into a direction that gives your humor more nuance.

[Anonymous No.16571059]

the problem with this website is that when you post your most 10k iq shit and you get no (You)s, then one interpretation is that no one could refute you, and therefore that what you posted was true.

[Anonymous No.16571189]

i was in a Zoom meeting and answering a question and i accidentally rolled my leg over my vibrator and it turned on. i was able to turn it off quickly but i hope nobody in my class thinks i am a coomer.

[Anonymous No.16571312]

>>16570749
https://files.catbox.moe/z6uo7g.pdf

https://monoskop.org/File:Ortega_y_Gasset_Jose_The_Revolt_of_the_Masses.pdf

[Anonymous No.16571370]

>>16564836
Pretty much everyone thinks this from time to time. Hard to say what's the right course without knowing you better.

[Anonymous No.16571377]

>>16565179
Bruh I live in Sweden and you see maybe 1/100 people wearing masks. Is it true many stores won't let you in if you don't wear one?

[Anonymous No.16571481]

>>16570405
I'm not going to discourage you completely and that another anons advice is good, but

>I'm on Tinder as some kind of exercise

I'm not sure about this. Tinder is SO SO far divorced from real human interaction that I don't think it's the best place to practice social interaction. Not only is he medium itself bad for it, but the people on the app are bad for it. I fear it'll only cause more problems.

I know it's not an option right now but the thing that cured my social anxiety was backpacking and staying in social hostels. In those places nobody knows who you are and everybody is excited to meet new people. You learn that 1) its actually pretty hard to embarrass yourself as most people are chill and 2) it's OK if you do make a fool of yourself because you'll never see any of those people again. When I came back from 3 months of backpacking my personality had completely changed. I'm still a quiet guy naturally but I have no problem starting conversations, keeping them going, making good impressions and making new friends. The thing is, my personality didn't really change because that was the type of person I had always *wanted* to be, but anxiety was a barrier to me achieving it. So if anything, I just allowed the 'real' me to come to the fore. I know that isn't an option at the moment and this has strayed into blogposting, but thought I'd share my thoughts.

[Anonymous No.16572163]

>>16571059
This is why you must pepper your points evocative language. Then you can be sure that no replies imply a strong consensus in your favour.

[Anonymous No.16572608]

>>16540154
I mean you do have to ask some questions when for the better part of a decade your partner, male or female, was switching partners like nothing. It's not like 3-month relationships are a normal repeated outcome of looking to settle down.

[Anonymous No.16573760]

>>16548244
That’s how my daughter is, but my son never cried or woke us up at night

[Anonymous No.16573913]

tfw my future job is spreadsheet slave in the rape dungeon formulating statistically evidenced excuses to defraud the public

[Anonymous No.16574069]

Why I have this feeling of not wanting to finish a book? In the last pages (100-150) I get this strange feeling and then I just stop reading. Not because I am tired or anything. Is it because I don't want it to end? Any anon have this feeling? Is there a obscure german word for this? I just want to finish the book and move on.

[Anonymous No.16574076]

does it confuses anyone else that events seems to correspond perfectly to emotions? for example, when hearing about losing my job, i feel sad and anger. whenever i trip, i feel pain and hurt.
they just appear at exactly the right moment and it seems to fit too perfectly
how do i know that these are really what I am feeling and not just intruding thoughts?

[Anonymous No.16574171]

I think a lot of people confuse writing like a pretentious wanker with being a good writer, and its not just a recent thing. Maybe its a fault of modern translations but a lot of the old "classics" have some good ideas yet read like they'd be laughed at if someone posted it today as OC. Big word when small word do and what's meant to be casual dialogue spelt out like a legal document live in my head and don't pay rent.

I'm also scared of writing, cause I don't want to become the thing I hate. What I think are cool ideas and characters might just be shit and someone will read off the same posts I made back to me about why everything sucks. I wrote a lot as a kid, but I grew up to despise self-proclaimed intellectuals thinking the corn shells in their shit is gold and now can't bring myself to do it again.

One day I'll rip my dick off and bleed out in fetish-induced fury and all people will remember is that guy who kept saying everything sucks but never did anything to improve it.

[Anonymous No.16574425]

>>16570467
>>16570425
>>16570353
>>16570316
thanks a lot for taking the time to type this anon, it means a lot and it's a very interesting read
>>16571481
I think this is a good advice but this social anxiety strikes at its maximum and is unbearable in the perspective of intimate or bureaucratic relationships, even if it's not always enjoyable I can put myself out of my comfort zone when I'm talking with strangers in a completely unknown setting. I did my share of backpacking and hiking so that probably helped there. Glad you made it anon, I'm striving for this.

[Anonymous No.16574788]

>have a painful growth on my knee
>started about two weeks ago
>got significantly worse over the last couple of days
>skin on top of it looks a bit fucked
this is it boys. peg leg or death. what a strange fate if its crutches all my life from here on out.

[Anonymous No.16575031]

>>16572163
this guy gets it

[Anonymous No.16575282]

>>16571377
afai sweden is going for herd immunity, so no wonder.

[Anonymous No.16575302]

>>16574171
I'm not a writer, but maybe in the end you have to accept that you have a style and write it. I heard about some writer who wrote under different pseudonyms, and with the intention of writing in different styles under each name. Kind of larping as other people writing. That sounds very next-level to me. Mostly I would think you have to have something to write, and when you do to just write it and if it's shit then learn from that then, rather than worry about it all the time now. A healthy mix is surely good, but it's unnecessary and unfortunate to be petrified by the fear of failure. Better to just fail and learn. that's what I think, what do I know.

[Anonymous No.16575352]

God speaks to me but I have to keep His words a secret

[Anonymous No.16575364]

>>16537167
Jews told them that goyim shouldn't reproduce and women believed them because women are extremely gullible and easily manipulated via emotions. Show a woman a picture of a dead muslim larva and she'll gleefully vote to import the entire third world at the expense of everyone else.

[Anonymous No.16575497]

I can't stop thinking about death. I think I want to die. We return to God (metaphorically). It is sublime. I don't believe in an afterlife. None of that seems to make sense to me. I cannot find any meaning in my existence. I really want to find meaning but it's difficult. At the moment the main thing I find meaning in is my family. They would be very sad without me. And I love them. I've never been good with friends. Something just makes me averse to the whole thing. I don't particularly like communicating. I just can't wait for it all to be over. What a relief that will be. Is life supposed to be enjoyable? The vast majority of humans who have ever existed would disagree with that. They lived and died in suffering. That is what I will do. But it will be suffering of my own making. I don't see how I can avoid that. Fuck it. It doesn't matter anyway.

[Anonymous No.16575546]

>>16575497
Have you tried sleeping a lot? I really enjoy it, when I get enough passive income to sustain a steak diet I will simply sleep and lift weights all day until I die

[Anonymous No.16575625]

Why I keep talking to her? I'm sure she laughs at my messages. I must be such a creep, I don't know how to talk, how to properly explain myself. Maybe she even shares my messages with friends of her and they all have a big laugh (maybe with people who have seen me at the uni). Is this is? Are they all laughing behind my back? What do? To stop talking to her would be to surrender to this thoughts (it is even possible that she could be doing this?), but to keep talking to her means to keep having these thoughts daily.
I feel my brain is damaged. I can't take a rest from this shit. I wan out. I wan to put this fucking piece of shit of ruined organ off. I have these images where it just blows out, or I shoot it. I'm tired.

[Anonymous No.16575696]

>>16575625
of course I'll be the last one, I always end up fucking threads. I'm such a joke.
Sorry anons, I'll get myself out of here

[Anonymous No.16575790]

>>16575696
make a new one dude

[Anonymous No.16576625]

At this point I'd reject any woman that would want to be in a relationship with me just to spite her.

[Anonymous No.16576751]

>>16576625
I've felt the same many times, but I think any resentment would melt away as soon as a cute girl as much as touches my hand.

[Anonymous No.16576873]

>>16567320
>>16567488
I care precisely because I'll die. I think it's part of the reason seppuku and suicide bombers are a thing. I won't witness it but everyone else will, and if I leave just like that it would be as if I had never existed, because whatever were to remain of me wouldn't be part of how I saw myself. Isn't that why anyone does anything at all? we all want to build ourselves before we die (or at least most of us). Though no one will even remember me in 200 years, so I'll give you that.

>>16567434
I think most people would assume the note isn't the real reason why I killed myself. Just like they do with any other person who commits suicide, they never killed themselves because of what they wrote on their note, they killed themselves because they were depressed and not well.

[Anonymous No.16576943]

>>16536110
that everyone needs to sell crack and live on the street without the protection of police to understand life. and that a lack of violence has completely disoriented 90% of the white population. Life matters when consequences matter. consequences matter when no one agrees to protect you and you actually are responsible for staying alive. we need a dose of reorientation. the best part of innocence is you cant know your innocent.