/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.16467379]

Write a short story based off this picture

[Anonymous No.16467419]

>>16467379
Imagine living in the US and not owning a .45 with hollows

[Anonymous No.16467466]

Big man with a gun.
A small gun.
A big dick.
The dog knew all about it.
He missed the gummy blowjobs.
The sagging skin offered little respite.
BANG!

[Anonymous No.16467511]

>>16467379
>Say RIP boogie again, I dare you!

[Anonymous No.16467563]

>>16467379
45 minutes... forty... five... fucking minutes... I ordered these pizzas 45 Goddamned minutes ago. My stomach is rumbling, this is unbearable. The Domino's Delivery Tracker told me 40 minutes. Forty minutes... forty five minutes... 40 was enough of a burden; now I am a victim... I... I'm not going to be a victim today

[Anonymous No.16467646]

>>16467379
"I told you to fuck off, Frank!" Boogie's lip snarled as he squinted his eyes at Frank's go-pro. Mentally, he was trying to stop his arm's trembling, he thought to himself, "Just fire a few shots at the sky, Boogie. Scare him!". Two bullets flew overhead. "Make this bastard's simps hear him cry and shout!". Another shot. Boogie brought his arm back and aimed his gun again at Frank, his dog's barking and his roomate's, ignored, pleadings for this to stop occupied the corner of his mind. Frank was his main focus.

[Anonymous No.16467648]

>>16467379
Off topic, sage and report

[Anonymous No.16467669]

crazy to see frank hassle in normie e-drama. shoulda sticked with being sam's side man

[Anonymous No.16467684]

>>16467669
This sentence is incomprehensible to me and I prefer it that wau.

[Anonymous No.16467690]

>>16467684
this is what goes through my head most of the time reading /lit/ posts

[Anonymous No.16467734]

>>16467563
The dirty white Honda Accord pulled into the driveway and the delivery boy stepped out with the nylon pizza-sized bag. Boogie came stumbling through the front door and down the concrete steps, a .38 cobalt-plated revolver in his hand.
"Forty-five minutes," he said.
"Hold on man," the delivery boy set the pizzas on the ground and held his hands up and backed away towards the car.
"Forty-five fucking minutes," Boogie pointed the gun at the boy. "I ordered these pizzas forty-five goddamned minutes ago." he said, eyebrows raised.
"Look man, look, I'm eighteen man, I'm sorry, I'm just the delivery boy, man. Please let me go home," the boy began to sob and hid his face behind his upraised forearms.
"My stomach is rumbling, this is unbearable." Boogie lowered the pistol. The boy looked at him. "The Domino's Delivery Tracker told me forty minutes. Forty minutes." Boogie looked into the horizon at sun setting behind the rooftops of the houses across the street.
"Look man, I'm sorry man, I couldn't find the sign, man," the boy said. He was silenced by the click of the hammer of the revolver being cocked back.
"Forty was enough of a burden. Now I am the victim. I'm not going to be a victim today." Boogie said. He raised the barrel, leveled it, and shot the boy through the head.

[Anonymous No.16467921]

>>16467669
I get what you mean, I felt the same way when Destiny went from being a semi-big starcraft player into a debate lord. Shit is crazy he used to be a dude that was known for being toxic like Tyler 1 is on League but now he's THE debate personality on Twitch, I still remember the videos of him and Ice Poseidon hanging out, and the one where he's trying to help him fix a computer is still hilarious. Destiny has done so much and holy shit has he lost people,like the shit that went down between him and Vaush is so disappointing, I remember when Vaush was called Irishladdie, they used to be good pals but highyene and conure had to conspire to rob Destiny of his partnership and that is just so fucked, like Destiny was trying to get Vaush back on twith and that's how his "friends"treat him? Lumi Rue treated Destiny like shit too even though he paid for their breast reduction surgery! What a shithead and now their laughing at him with MikefromPA, oops! I mean [REDACTED]from[REDACTED]... what a shitter. He was a total loser in that video just like he was with Badbunny at Twitchcon when he nervously approached her lol.

Shit is just fucked then there is the shit that went down between RemTheBathboi and Destiny, the whole thing seemed to be a misunderstanding to me, and I wish REM would still interact with Destiny, would be cool to see him clash with Train over continental vs analytical philosophy or for him to go toe to toe with JOHN ZHERKA, now that was the shit! I loved Austin Royales (formerly Rajj Royales) that had both of them in the same episode, you just knew shit was going to go off! I just wish Austin (formerly Rajj) would have Destiny on more than Hasanabi (currently Hasan, nicknamed HAhaa-san), he's so inarticulate it's PAINFUL listening to him trying to communicate messages that I just know Destiny could communicate in 2 mins... I just wish Austin would do more Royales too, LOVE or HOST just isn't as entertaining to me (okay that time when it was revealed that Katerino was fucking like seven dudes behind callmecarson's back was kind of funny and hot) .

I think Destiny has just gone through so much and I'm happy that Melina chose him over Max, Destiny needs his mel! They are just so precious together, Michael (or Mykull lol) and Lily are so precious to I love seeing them together on offlineTV. I sort of wish Destiny would make a similar group with Dan, Mr. Mouton ("IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE YELLING!"), Xqc, Train, Kaceytron, Minx, and Rem. Shit would be so great, although the drama between Xqc and that guy 5up is just so stupid lol.

[Anonymous No.16467943]

>>16467734
based

[Anonymous No.16467946]

>>16467921
Is this post consciously trying to be the most zoomer thing ever written?

[Anonymous No.16468085]

"Put the pies in the fucking bag," said the large man, jiggling everywhere fiercely. "I won't say it again." His breath was heavy. Sweat pooled in lakes beneath his hammy arms.

The local bakery delivery truck driver stood in shock. He had heard of pizza deliverers getting robbed in the bad part of town getting robbed, but that was for their money.

"Are you listening buddy?" The large man cocked the gun.

"Ok, you got it." The driver opened up the back of the truck and started piling the fragrant pies and cakes into the bag like it was gold from an armored car.

The fat man licked his lips lustfully. "Do it faster!"
While the driver scrambled to pick up the pace the fat man walked over and grabbed a plump muffin from bag. Sniffing it lovingly, he took a massive bite out of it and savored it in narcotic bliss. In two bites it was vanished.

"That's it, that's everything," the driver said. "Can I go now?"

"Good," said the fat guy. Then, perhaps just to savor the sick godlike power he now enjoyed both having a sack full of riches and a gun to boot, perhaps to feel like the world's most badass gangster, he kneecapped the young man with two vicious shots.

The driver feel to the ground screaming, red pain filling his world. "God, why did you do that? Oh god." The fat man wobbled over to his prize, snatched it up. Five minutes later he made it to his car 15 feet away, and slumping into it, the vehicle buckling slightly at the weight, he sped off like a maniac high on sweet creams and sweet dreams.

[Anonymous No.16468245]

>GAY ALIMONY
>"This is my McCloskeys moment." he thought, "I've never felt this alive before."
>Stephen leveled his 'roomate's' .22 at Frank's right temple. He could disable the GOPRO firing offhand in a single shot. Today he would finally kill a man. "CASTLE DOCTRINE. BITCH." The generic SSRIs coursed through his tortured sclerotic veins, fueling the word salad flying out of him at Mach 5.
>"DO IT FAGGOT?" The Boomer actually did it. He actually fired a warning shot. "Well, that's a felony. My work here is done." Frank returned to his vehicle and played John Maus, COP KILLER so loud he could feel the beat pulse on his excessive arm hair, all standing on end.

[Anonymous No.16468254]

>>16467946
it has to be pasta from reddit

[Anonymous No.16468429]

>>16467379
Die twitter poster

[Anonymous No.16468455]

>>16467466
>gummy blowjobs
never heard of. what is?

[Anonymous No.16468471]

>>16468254
What the fuck did you just fucking say about r/books, you little bitch? I'll have you know I was tested for a 12th grade reading level in middle school, and I've been a voracious reader for my entire life, and I have read over 300 confirmed audiobooks, including Sapiens, which has been banned in 3 middle schools in the american south. I am trained in YA fiction and I've audio reread harry potter more times than you could ever hope to understand. You are nothing to me but just another high school english teacher trying to destroy my love for reading. I will wipe you the fuck out with the precision of ender in classic literary audiobook enders games, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me about r/books? Think again, illiterate. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of fellow voracious book-snarfers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for my intellectualism, maggot. This intellectualism is superior to the pathetic little thing you call "literature" but is nothing but 900 pages of inaccurate whale facts. You're fucking dead, kid. I have (audio) read Fahrenheit 1984, Brave New Clockwork, and 451 by Orwell, and I can own you over seven hundred pages, and that's without my funkopops. Not only am I extensively trained in the art of decorating my bookshelf with unread books, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Audible.com and I will not hesitate to listen to all of it on 5x speed until I can read your miserable ass off the face of the continent with my hard magic system. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little paid-for-by-the-word comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now your life is going to be scarier than a steven king novel. I will avidly read voraciousness all over you and you will drown in it rapaciously. Wow, just wow. You're fucking dead, /lit/.

[Anonymous No.16468495]

>>16467921
Wtf

[Anonymous No.16468517]

according to castle doctrine, the corpulent subject of the image is going to receive a dick up his ass shortly

[Anonymous No.16468530]

>>16468254
No results from google. This is a real.

[Anonymous No.16468618]

>>16467921
Is this satire or are there people who get really involved in other peoples lives like this?

[Anonymous No.16469027]

>>16467921
Cringe

[Anonymous No.16469063]

>>16467921
what is this post?

[Anonymous No.16469068]

>>16467921
stop

[Anonymous No.16469077]

>>16468471
I made fun of Agatha Christie on r/books amd got 17 downvotes. Angry redditor moment.

[Anonymous No.16469080]

>>16467379
Don't you ever try feeding my dog. The dog eats after me. I am prepared to die to defend my right to feed my dog when I choose to. That dog will never eat before me. He understands that. And I think you will too.

[Anonymous No.16469085]

>>16468455
Toothless blowie of the penis

[Anonymous No.16469098]

>>16468471
based and reading (audio) pilled

[Anonymous No.16469107]

I genuinely wish boogie had shot frank. I hate both of those guys, boogie for being a weak, manipulative self described nihilist fuck and frank for being a deranged sociopath with no sense of decency and for bothering and bullying random people for literally 0 reason. I can only hope frank(sam?) returns and gets shot in the fucking head

[Anonymous No.16469138]

>>16467379
The ground popped and bounced as the corpulent mass moved forward, the door swung open. "hey buddy let me show you a trick... I learned this from my wife's boyfriend."
A single shot was heard, the veteran's go pro moved its angle down, blood gushed from the bullet wound. He collapsed with a thud. "We don't call cops around here, we from the south. Ain't I right Jamal? " the out of breath sentences spoken by the dying, obese man was the last thing the brave, albino, African American veteran heard

[Anonymous No.16469148]

>>16467921
based, double-based for stanning daddy des

[Anonymous No.16469150]

Can anyone explain to me why they like Hassle?

[Anonymous No.16469160]

>>16469150
kys
>they
kys

[Anonymous No.16469173]

>>16469150
Because he makes the leftypol shillcucks seethe with their tranny dildoes

[Anonymous No.16469674]

>>16467379
it's really cool that comedy has become fetal alcohol sociopaths being obnoxious or muslims telling us what tv shows are racist

[Anonymous No.16469755]

>>16467669
>sam's side man
He was a friend of Sam Hyde?

[Anonymous No.16469760]

>>16467921
This is the worst kind of autism. Can't even laugh at it, it's just sad.