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/lit/ - Literature

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16207528 No.16207528 [Reply] [Original]

I just wrote a poem, what do you think about it? Please be honest

The tactful cactus by your window
Surveys the prairie of your room
The mobile spins to its collision
Clara puts her head between her paws
They've opened shops down the West side
Will all the cacti find a home
But the key to the city
Is in the sun that pins
The branches to the sky

>> No.16207542

>>16207528
>The tactful cactus
stopped reading right there

>> No.16207544

i prefer you after you lost your mind on coke, david

>> No.16207557

>>16207528
>The tactful cactus
pffffttthahahahah

>> No.16207624

>>16207542
>>16207557
What's wrong with that line?

>> No.16207654

>>16207528
your metrics are shit

>> No.16207692

>>16207654
>muh metrics

>> No.16207703

congrats on the success of your bait, david

>> No.16208344

>>16207528
Lol I'm not a native English speaker and I didn't understand a word when I listened to this in high school, now I understand why