How is /lit/s relationship with their fathers?

[Anonymous No.16183463]

I just finished reading this book, it made me think a lot about how much a persons relationship with their father effects them in life!

Mines pretty good, how about yours?

[Anonymous No.16183474]

>>16183463
Died two years ago. Miss him a lot. Look after your fathers bros.

[Anonymous No.16183572]

>>16183474
Im sorry, anon.

[Anonymous No.16183594]

>>16183463
Semi-homeless non-functioning alcoholic who completely ruined my life.

[Anonymous No.16183607]

>>16183463
Mine's really bad, which is why I'm on unemployed and on 4chan at 3 pm

[Anonymous No.16183641]

Sage all Freud-posters.

[Anonymous No.16183658]

>>16183572
Thanks bro.

[Anonymous No.16183708]

>>16183607
You sound like the biggest butt-munching faggot. Your father probably thinks the same.

[Anonymous No.16183722]

I admire my dad a lot, and I feel bad every day that he had to marry my mom, who is absolutely insufferable. The idea that my siblings and I are more or less the result of the biggest failure in the life of an otherwise great man bothers me a lot.

[Anonymous No.16183724]

>>16183594

>>16183607
This isnt looking good

[Anonymous No.16183859]

>>16183463
I have no relationship with neither my dad and mother, my biggest parental figure was a friend of the family who raised me and even then I'm not attached to her at all. They ever only spent time either working or in jail, to this day idk what my dad works with and am not interested. He works from home but almost doesn't talk to me and it has been years since we hanged out, mom owns a business and only comes home to sleep pretty much. Dad is mostly drunk through the day as well when he isn't working at his computer, they are divorced too. He is trying to stop drinking tho which is nice.

I'm gay and hate all my friends. At least I'm smart to some degree and am going to the best uni in my country with solid objectives, I only lack a likeable social circle and a partner. I was codependent with all my previous relationships as well, I think it has to do with having no parental figures and needing to seek validation from scratch pretty much. Besides that I can make friends easily, but situations in life held me back a lot. Being the only black guy in my entire year and a traumatic breakup made me a shut in for a long time.

Sorry for blogpost, but I really think having a more active parental figure would have improved my life dramatically, mainly a dad. What are you thoughts on this guys? What would change in my life if I had parents? Would this book answer a couple questions I have? How it is having a dad? The fondest memory I have is when he still lived with my mom and I woke up at 3AM, went to the kitchen and he was in the living room eating a burguer. We shared it and watched a movie. I was about 7.

[Anonymous No.16183885]

>>16183463
My Dad is a flawed man, but I love him anyway and he seems to respect me, my thoughts and opinions

My Stepdad is a good man with a lot of wisdom to dispense but we're not that close

My biological father-- I just found out about him recently. It's weird af because I get the impression he's a lot like me personality wise.

[Anonymous No.16183928]

He died when I was 4. I never had a prominent male figure in my life, messed me up for sure.

[Anonymous No.16183935]

My dad is pretty based and also pretty bad. He‘s got very clear ideas about the world and actually lives his life accordingly. Which led to him living in a cave and in the forrest for a while. I mean, he made me translate a page of the bible from german to english every day when i was a kid. Thanks dad.

[Anonymous No.16183948]

>>16183463
my father was a shithead alcoholic who neglected me and let me be emotionally abused because he wanted to chase the 50 year old used up poon of a literal crack whore.

he can rot in hell and i told him as much.
>>16183594
iktf

[Anonymous No.16184041]

I love my father and he took great effort to take care of me and make sure I turned out alright. He has his own issues though; his inability to make friends passed onto me. I have no idea how he and mom actually got together, but I guess that them being from a small slightly conservative town helped it happen. Dad would have no chance in today's world with today's women.

[Anonymous No.16184078]

>>16184041
>Dad would have no chance in today's world with today's women.

sexual selection will give us a generation of biracial chads to put women in their place. its ironic that females will be the source of their own undoing

[Anonymous No.16184083]

>>16183885
Your mother sounds like a whore.

[Anonymous No.16184089]

>>16183463
like him a lot. don't speak v often

[Anonymous No.16184109]

My father raised me and my brother alone after my parents divorced and my mother moved away. It was difficult and I guess he did alright, considering the circumstances. I grew up to have a lot of social problems, though I think that's more my mother's fault than his, though the traits I got from him didn't help.

[Anonymous No.16184120]

>>16183463
It's complicated.

[Anonymous No.16184123]

>>16184078
Cringe

[Anonymous No.16184144]

>>16184083
that's the subtext, yes

[Anonymous No.16184151]

>>16183607
mine is really good and i'm still unemployed and on 4chan now

[Anonymous No.16184175]

>>16183463
My parents are my best friends. They've got their flaws, but they're always working on addressing them and growing as people even into old age. They've accomplished a lot in their lives and have given me everything I need to succeed, from good values to unconditional love. I owe them everything. This is the only true social privilege that exists: good parents.
Dont forget anons, your relationship with your mother is just as important. The dynamic between your parents acts to inform your fundemtal cognitive models of how men and women relate to each other. Hopefully if your father did not give adequate respect to your mother (or vice versa) you have been able to forgive the aggressor and consciously work to give the respect to the other that your parent couldn't

[Anonymous No.16184176]

Dad is based as fuck. Great dad all round, worked his ass off and took our family on vacations all over the world so we could experience other cultures. Never stayed at a resort, he said resorts and the like were for entitled pricks. He'd rent places from locals and ask them to show us around, he showed us (my siblings and I) how to work through language barriers. Taught me everything from cleaning a deer to scuba diving. Covid is breaking him though, as it's destroying his company. But he's almost able to retire. I pray he's able to make it a few more years and be able to achieve what he's worked for. I really couldn't have asked for better.
He always told me to work towards what I wanted, and encouraged me in my passions. Only rules he ever gave me were "don't lie" and "bring home a white woman." I try to hang out with him every weekend. I know what I have, and I want to appreciate it as much as I can.

[Anonymous No.16184198]

>>16184176
>took our family on vacations all over the world so we could experience other cultures
>Only rules he ever gave me were "don't lie" and "bring home a white woman."
huh? i thought travel was fatal to bigotry and narrowmindedness?

[Anonymous No.16184210]

>>16184175
>This is the only true social privilege that exists: good parents.
Based offspring. Well said

[Anonymous No.16184223]

Was too distant with me as a kid, was absent for a while when my parents separated, and was a borderline alcoholic that usually came home late. We literally are fluent in different languages (Him Spanish, me English); he never pushed me hard enough to learn Spanish. However, he does love me deep down, always took me fishing and hunting, supported my endeavors, paid for college, etc. He also reads a lot as well, I enjoy discussing history with him.

Could've been better, could've been much worse though. I love my parents even though we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things

[Anonymous No.16184241]

>>16184198
The other way around. Hatred rarely comes without experience. You're meme was created by someone who's only ever traveled to resorts where the local staff treated them oh so nice.

[Anonymous No.16184260]

>>16184198
>Wanting your son to date within his own race is bigotry and hatred
lmao

[Anonymous No.16184262]

>>16184241
fuck off /pol/tard

t. someone who has traveled as well and isn't a racist shit head

[Anonymous No.16184306]

Last I spoke to him he said I had no balls. I hope he enjoys the retirement home 10~ years from now.

[Anonymous No.16184342]

>>16183463
I moved out a month ago so better than ever. WE do have alot in common and I like him alot.

[Anonymous No.16184363]

>>16183463
My father was a neo-Nazi who turned evidence against the group he was a member of and went in witness protection, divorced my mom, and raised a new family. I didn't meet him until I was 26.

[Anonymous No.16184383]

>>16183463
Not really good, he is unironically a crazy retard.

[Anonymous No.16184412]

>>16183859
Im just surfing through the responses now, but this is pretty heartbreaking. Im sorry to hear life has been so rough on you my dude. I dont think any books can really change the way things are going to be for you. You seem to have come out okay and strong though.

[Anonymous No.16184422]

>>16183859
>but I really think having a more active parental figure would have improved my life dramatically, mainly a dad
Probably. But this is also just a cope.

[Anonymous No.16184436]

>>16184223
Kys spic

[Anonymous No.16184457]

>>16184436
kys /pol/tard

[Anonymous No.16184639]

>>16183594
This. Are you me?

On a serious note, I feel like he [my father] ruined my mother's life. He was also a toxic and mentally-unstable person.

[Anonymous No.16184788]

>>16184383
Howd you turn out?
>>16184363
Sounds based as fuck
>>16184306
Lmao sicko mode

[Anonymous No.16185039]

>>16184639
Idk. My grandfather was a federal judge. I feel like my birthright was stolen.

[Anonymous No.16185092]

Hes a nice guy and we get along great but hes a huge loser. Still lives with his mom at 55, done the same seasonal job for like 15+ years now, is a drunk and I suspect his drinking unleashes some kind of underlying schizophrenia. His lifes a tradgedy but he never beat me or anything like that. Just an underdeveloped man who probably shouldnt have raised a child. But my mom was actually more of a fuck up that he was even allowed custody as a single male parent which in my experience seems to be rare

[Anonymous No.16185098]

>>16185039
Nah your grandpa did some dark shit to your dad that ruined him for life, mark my words

[Lago. No.16185213]

Quite a thread.

My Father is immature and dangerously controlling. I've grown up with a warped perception of women since he never really treated my mother with respect; she was treated as a subservient rather than a partner, and the recent revelation I had has been pretty heart breaking. He's a totalitarian and extremely aggressive. Toxic and manipulative. Gaslights and threatens others constantly.

He's destroyed my self-esteem and social prospects whilst demoralizing and emasculating me constantly. Every moment spent in his presence is suffocating beyond measure. He's extremely tough and intimidating, and I can't take it anymore.

Sorry for the rambling, but know that the "love your parents" posts I see in this thread make me want to tear my hair out.

[Anonymous No.16185240]

Strained.

My dad's an alcohol, overweight diabetic with sleep apnea and frankly, quite apparent narcissistic elements to his personality.

I love him and our relationship is fine for now but it's been very, very ugly in the past. I recognize that family is above all though and he's definitely not a bad person, so it's in both our interests to keep strengthening the relationship.

We don't do enough fishing these days. Wish I could rectify that but he works a lot.

[Anonymous No.16185343]

>>16184412
You can't miss something you never had, I don't really feel much towards them. When they came back from jail (I was about 12) I didn't even cried or anything, I was just a little happy that we wouldn't have as many financial problems. Isn't like it makes me feel sad or depressed, it's just a deep indifference and the bits of obligatory empathy you feel towards your parents.

I might start working with my mom business once I graduate and that might approach us. I doubt highly tho that I will be able to have any relationship with my dad besides small talk and telling him to sleep when he is shit talking while drunk. If he ever retires I could maybe get the time back, but it isn't the same thing at all.

>>16184422
My life isn't bad for me to cope with anything. In what touches the things I can actually change I'm in my way on getting a good degree, a nice career and once corona calms down I'll be able to have friends and stuff. I discovered I'm a really social guy but the enviroment I was raised in always repressed it, I never had much of a reason to gather with friends. What I think is that having a dad would make me feel less alone and I would get more of a reason to talk to people. Maybe.

Having an active dad could have possibly saved me from my traumatic break up and codependency which I still struggle with. Having enough closure to talk about relationship advice, as well as getting more maturity which I lacked, could have helped me a lot. Could be my school too, who knows, but for a matter of fact it would objectively made things way less worse.

I consider me and my twin sister lucky, but I have a younger brother that I can see is directly affected by lack of a parental figure. At the age of 10 he is extremelly undisciplined, eats badly, no friends, no hobbies. He has good grades tho and is overall a good boy personality wise, but you can see where he is failing. I wish I could play this dad role for him, but with uni and work in my back it's virtually impossible.

I feel I'm getting a bit off topic tho, but yeah parents are really important. Be greatful for your dad guys, I consider having a solid family in childhood is the single most important factor for happiness for the rest of your life. I didn't had parents to tell me whats right or wrong, I had to endure the consequences of obviously immature things because I didn't knew better.

[Anonymous No.16185404]

>>16183463
My father was completely absent from my life. I saw him like twice that I remember, last time I was like 5. My mother raised me. She is not neurotypical. She has the intelligence, not just mentally but emotionally and socially, of a little child. I'm not exaggerating, I can reason more easily with children than my own mother sometimes. On top of that she has paranoid delusions, is very emotionally needy, and is a puritan who sees too many things as being of the devil. I grew up in poverty, very self-conscious and emotionally insecure because of my mother and, indirectly, father. Thanks God.

[Anonymous No.16185453]

>>16185213
>>16185240
>>16185343
>>16185404

Damn, all this shit is really sad. Im sorry to hear this guys. I didnt realize this thread would bring out so much sorrow.

[Anonymous No.16185601]

>>16183859
You sound like a huge narcissist, but at least you acknowledge it's because you have a shitty dad. You can't use it as crutch anymore because you're adult, so try not being an insufferable bitch. No book is going to do that for you.

A good start would be to stop caring about your own shit and try to do a sincerely kind thing to one other person. Do it every day until you start thinking more about the people in your life than yourself. You won't care about your childhood baggage anymore after that. Your baggage will become boring.

[Anonymous No.16185622]

My dad stayed in his home country (Dominican Republic) instead of coming to the US where my mother took me. Dont really talk to him and he started another family anyway, luckily im nit a normie so it didn’t affect me too much

[Anonymous No.16185630]

>>16183463
My dad's an old-school commie, but I still love him regardless.

[Anonymous No.16185653]

>>16183463
I have only seen him a few times after he left my mom for someone else. I hate his guts and wish him the worst. I wonder if I would be capable of doing the worst if law and order ever fell apart.

[Anonymous No.16185664]

>>16183463
Didn't have one. Drank himself out of my life when I was 3 and smoked himself off this earth when I was 11. My entire life growing up was run by mentally ill women, and I will never undo the damage. I honestly wish I was never born

[Anonymous No.16185676]

>>16185630
It's better than being an intersectional faggot at least.

[Anonymous No.16185678]

>>16185601
Why do you pretend to care about other people only to be, as you put it, an insufferable bitch?

[Anonymous No.16185686]

>>16185453
welcome to the real world

[Anonymous No.16185750]

>>16185686
The real world is filled with shit fathers?

[Anonymous No.16185762]

>>16185601
>You sound like a huge narcissist

[Anonymous No.16185771]

>>16183463
Classic violent eastern european drunk and heavy smoker who drank half his wages instead of paying bills while my mother slaved and coped with religion.
He died last year ,i tried to feel sad but i felt nothing, we never had a connection.

[Anonymous No.16185830]

>>16183463
He was terrible to me in the past but post-divorce he has gone 360 and become a total push over. I do not hate him.

[Anonymous No.16185865]

>>16185678
> i came on /lit/ to blogpost about how tragic and smart i am.
You were asking for it. I work with drug addicted teenagers so while I understand suffering and pain that comes from not having a good family, I have very little patience for brats that can't get over themselves.

[Anonymous No.16185903]

>>16183463
He's weak. An honest-to-God narcissist (not in the reddit sense of the term), a (mostly) high-functioning alcoholic, and fat on top of all that. Definitely not the smartest tool in the shed, even among his lumpenprole friends. Always used his physical presence to intimidate me, my brother, and my mother, though the faintest praise I can give him is that he never hit any of us for real besides a slap here and there, though I get the feeling that's more the result of us "knowing our place" than him being an exemplar of self-control. My mother is also narcissistic and her character is equally weak, but she's more of a natural victim than a dominant narcissist; truly a match made in heaven. We almost always lived in borderline poverty because he always considered himself to be above working and insisted on trying to hustle through his poorly thought out plans that never had a chance to work to begin with, and that's when he didn't get fucked over by smarter people in the business. Despite our financial difficulties, he never spared any expense when it was about himself, but we were kept under unrealistically tight leashes that ensured that I never had any money or exposure to much beyond what I taught myself from the internet growing up. As you could probably guess, he is almost a caricature of the lumpenprole : uneducated, dumb, financially irresponsible, but desperately wants to be acknowledged by his lumpenprole milieu through the shallow signifiers that the lumpenproles respond to.

He also cheated on my mother about 5 years into their marriage; from what I could gather, I myself was a last ditch effort to save the marriage after the cheating came to light. He had several casual relationships with really trashy women, one of which ended up being his long-term girlfriend. He kept this woman a secret from us (but not from our mother, who was complicit in letting me and my brother live a lie for an entire decade for the sake of their ease), but about 2 years ago things got really vicious and with combined pressure from me, my brother, and my mother, we managed to get him to live with his mistress.

(1/2)

[Anonymous No.16185907]

>>16183463
He puts up with me. He is pretty selfish, but I guess it has to do with how he grew up. He was a terrible role model, always making fun of me when I was young and gave me a bunch of self esteem problems.

I still live with my parents and I don’t even know why they are together, they never talk to each other and fight rarely, sleep in seperate rooms for the past 10 years.

I got diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety disorder pretty late in my 20s, while they were obvious when growing up my parents never decided to do anything about them. I had a pretty shit middle school life which shaped highschool and led to a terrible uni life which caused me to be 3 years behind and made me consider running away from it all through suicide. He began to treat me more nicely I guess after realizing I have mental health problems and i’m trying to get back on track.

[Anonymous No.16185930]

he hit me a lot when i was a kid until i got big

[Anonymous No.16185946]

>>16185903
We didn't talk to each other since then, but I feel much more at ease now than I did during the years when we lived under the same roof. I have no desire to contact him ever again for anything resembling actual communication, however, I enjoy rubbing his failures in his face in whatever indirect ways I can; I think I'm completely in the right to enjoy at least this much cruelty, if you could even call it that rather than vindication. Though it's obvious that the regret and the consequences of his lifestyle and conduct are starting to sink in despite his well-trained mental guarding against such things, I'll enjoy hounding him with his regret and failure as a father, as a husband, and as an individual; I'll delight in his desperation and fear as he sinks deeper and deeper into the pit he dug himself. Every single thing that will happen between him and me from now on will be done so that I can ensure that he'll reap exactly what he has sown. He deserves nothing less for almost ruining three lives; if anything, I'm probably too merciful.

The day he will die will probably be the happiest day of my life; the day when such a stain on existence will be washed away like any filth should will be the day when the balance of the world will get ever so slightly closer to where it ideally should be.

Coincidentally we're also all eastern euros, like >>16185771, seems to be a common archetype unfortunately.

[Anonymous No.16185985]

>>16183463
My father is a good friend. Many anons are chiming in, “I love my father, but[...]” and they don’t know that saying so is setting themselves up for inequality between themselves and their fathers as men for their whole lives. Accepting your father’s faults makes you his equal, finally. We only demand perfection from our fathers, expecting anything but from everyone else. I mean, by all means, if your dad hanged you upside down and slapped you with a bamboo chute like a piñata as a kid, wash your hands of him. But come on, Anon. You seriously all had Dennis Rader for fathers?

A lot of the bellyaching I’m seeing here amounts to failed expectations. We hold our fathers to meteorically high expectations, but we set those expectations after living in their houses—seeing other dads, seeing dads on TV (Leave it to Beaver is the worst programming ever on American television). We get hard with our friends bitching about whose dad was worse to whom.

And we promise we’ll do better. Promises, promises.

Our culture doesn’t have a coming-of-age rite for its men. Here’s one. Being able to look your father in the eye and shake his hand, man to man, equals.

[Anonymous No.16186060]

>>16185601
Why am I a narcissist? I objectively fucked up my teenager years, had shitty relationships exclusively because of my immaturity and was in fact narcissistic as fuck in my young years. What I'm trying to say is that having a dad might have helped me somehow, I barely had a parental figure to look up to and acquire morals. I acknowledge I have deep and severe flaws and a good bunch are exclusively my fault, I'm saying having a dad could help. This doesn't excuse me to work on them myself, which I do and a lot.

>A good start would be to stop caring about your own shit and try to do a sincerely kind thing to one other person.

I think I should blame myself here because I didn't explained why I hate my friends. Most of them are from said school and are only interested in hanging out with me out of interest, and have backstabbed me multiple times. I got mocked and ridiculed several times but it isn't something I would like to get into.

I do care for my sister and brother and they are my real friends if that's what you want me to do.

>>16185865
> i came on /lit/ to blogpost about how tragic and smart i am.
OP asked about my relationship with my dad and how it affected me in life, I answered them in the best and most genuine way I could. The hell you want? I answered their question mate, you sound like an horrible person to be near a drug addicted depressed teenager, hope you lose your job for their own sake.

[Anonymous No.16186082]

>>16184078
>biracial
>Chads
Mutts adopt the worst features of each component race, as you already likely know.

[Anonymous No.16186257]

>>16183463
My father. You can probably imagine how that went.

[Anonymous No.16186288]

He was good up until I turned 16. We learned he was a secret alcoholic, married my mom out of convenience, only cared about me because im a boy. Threatened my mom and I with a kitchen knife. Thought i was gonna die that night. Divorce. For the next 2 years i was the only family contact he had, mom & siblings wouldnt talk to him anymore. He went to travel and died of an anyuerism. Shipped his body to his home country to be buried. I didnt go to the funeral nor do I miss him, so yeah. Been 2 years now. Sometimes I forget I even had a dad. I respect and appreciate everything he did for me at the very least.

[Anonymous No.16186295]

>>16186288
What do you mean by "secret alcoholic?"

[Anonymous No.16186363]

>>16186295
He was drinking pic related, but would buy like 30-40 and pound them at night in his room. The first time he got wasted was a shock because he never touched booze ever. Maybe a social beer, but just one and no more. Learned he was doing this for years. He drove drunk sometimes too. It went from tiny bottles, to wine, then hard liquor. He would apologize the next day, say therapy will fix him. But he would always relapse and have a drunk episode against my mom. When i was in college apparently it happened 7 more times but my mom wanted to "spare us from his pain".

[Anonymous No.16187018]

>>16183463
Socially retarded and dimwitted alcoholic who lived a degenerate life and could neither support his family financially nor emotionally

He's trying to get sober and I still love him though

[Anonymous No.16187338]

My dad won't see me after I kept getting into trouble for fighting and drinking when I was 18-21. The last time he saw me he punched me in the face and said I was no son of his. That was 6 years ago and I've completely changed but he still won't see me. Hes getting on in years and I want nothing more than to reconnect with him

[Anonymous No.16187527]

My father was a priest. Never knew someone as capable of adhering to their own moral principles as him. But I think it broke him. Being a leader ultimately alienates you from your fellow man, and this was apparently what he endured based on his attitudes towards the lifestyles of his parishioners. He was highly disciplined in his work ethic, his running of the family, and his piety- but ultimately it was his closeness to God that created the distance between us. To me he is a highly devoted man who meticulously tried to live the right life, who raised me. I was sitting in my bedroom two years ago when the realization occured to me that he was a stranger. I left about a week later while he was at work. Haven't talked to or heard from him since. My life doesn't feel much different.

[Anonymous No.16188497]

My dad's a bloated smoothbrained retard who works for gubmint, kicked me out when I was 12 and has a different family now. Now that 14 years have passed, it just makes you wonder. No loss, as he is not a smart man or possessing any good qualities. Last I heard he lives in Virginia. I actually hope he gets the wu flu. If he's not gargling on fat veiny ventilator before the plandemic lifts then there is no God.

[Anonymous No.16188711]

>>16183463
I don't really know my parents. They raised me, fed me, gave me clothes, and took me on vacations, but they never taught me anything. I have no idea what their values are, and they never passed any on to me. I was just left to figure the world out myself.
I unironically can't remember if my mom has ever hugged me.

[Anonymous No.16188748]

>>16183463
before even reading the thread I know a majority of /lit/ have dysfunctional or absent relationships with their fathers

[Anonymous No.16188754]

>>16183935
Holy based

[Anonymous No.16188818]

>>16185946
Dilate. Having this much hate towards an old man doesn’t do anything for you or anyone else.

[Anonymous No.16188827]

>>16185985
redpilled

[Anonymous No.16188830]

Moral narcissist. I would have been better off living with him but my mom is BPD and did everything possible to make sure we couldn't live with him until some imagined disappointment in us would make her either give over custody or threaten us with abandonment, since that was her biggest fear and she assumed it was a threat not a reward to us too. Both of them want us to be part of their lives because it makes them feel better, but mom was really a number.
She would kick us out as kids and then file missing persons reports so she wouldn't be done for neglect. She also would leave the country without telling us where she was going, and then claim my dad, who was living in another country, had kidnapped us. As a positive, she didn't become an alcoholic like the rest of her family, because when she was turning that way I told her that dad was a teetotaler who would get custody if she showed up to the house drunk one more time that week. Been living on my own since 17, and now I'm in my thirties she still insists I can move home any time I call her. Reconnected with my dad years later when he offered to pay for college if I passed on forms and I found out he had kept up child support payments for kids she wasn't taking care of for years, and he was offering to support me through college because she had claimed she needed an extra 2,000 to support me. I'd been buying school supplies for myself since I was 10, because she claimed we needed to find our dad to get him to pay or else get part time jobs lol.

[Anonymous No.16188859]

>>16183463
I don't think about him

[Anonymous No.16188882]

>>16183463
killed himself when I was young

[Anonymous No.16189288]

Good, I guess. He's always taken care of me, but I never learned to socialize cause he kept me from the park, hanging out after school, etc. I quit clubs from high school and didn't get to socialize with girls who liked me because of him. I have like three friends from high school lol, and I feel so lonely. Didn't make any friends in college either because I commuted to school each day and I'm socially retarded still. Like I can speak normally and do things like shopping and such, but making friends from strangers might as well be impossible. I'm still living with him and going to grad school (for accounting) next week, but I don't feel as if I can connect with anyone in an organic way. I wish I had a regular childhood where I wasn't trapped in the house and could play with kids, so maybe I wouldn't be so neurotic and nervous today.

[Anonymous No.16189605]

I love my dad, but he and I both have the same problems to varying degrees. He's a funny guy with a weird sense of humor who loves making stupid jokes only he laughs at and teasing my mom, but he never smiles in photos. He can talk for hours about a great range of topics, but when meeting people for the first time he's often brusque and professionally detached. He loses his temper every now and then, but I think he regrets it every time. Really, we're almost the same person, just seperated by 30 years and warped by the environment we grew up in.
I wish I had a better relationship with him these days, but since I moved out, I've talked to my family less and less. When I'm about to pick up the phone or write an email a strange pressure fills my chest and the words I wanted to say get caught in my throat. I don't know why.

[Anonymous No.16189697]

Made the decision a long time ago to cut my father out of my life. One of those that live well beyond their means with nothing to show for it, manages to fritter away a 6 figure salary entirely on toys and gadgets. Bitter and begrudges you for any success, cannot tolerate you even hinting you might surpass him in any aspect, will actively try and pull you down just so his inferiority complex doesn't chafe on him. Will never do anything for you if it inconveniences him slightly, always has to assert that he's better, has the best things, etc. Never had any close friends, has no interests beyond vapid consumption, has alienated himself from the rest of his family, seemingly doesn't care as long as he has his Star Wars merch and Xbox games. Haven't spoken to him for over 6 years, he has my details and could call any time but I really don't think he cares. Will probably never see him again and that's fine.

[Anonymous No.16189729]

>>16183463
The men in my family are strong, hardworking but emotionally passive. My dad set a good example in his professional life but I never saw him show real affection towards my mom or myself, which I think messed up my perspective on relationships. It made me feel that its wrong to put your affection on display.

[Anonymous No.16189738]

>>16183935
i found this really funny

[Anonymous No.16189745]

>>16183463
Honestly OP, I can't wait until my father finally dies, but I also have to say he's the toughest man I've ever known

[Anonymous No.16189749]

>>16184262
Traveled to where, a resort in Finland? kek

[Anonymous No.16189763]

>>16189697
That's rough. My dad is a shit head in many ways but I always appreciated how he cheered for my successes and was happy to see me pass him up, even in the realm of career and finance. Its so wrong for a father to see his son as competition and not as an extension of his own successes.

[Anonymous No.16189774]

He used to be one of my best friends until my later 20ies. I used to think of him as a great father who did a lot rather well and raised us well for a long time.
However I surpressed what I also knew, that he failed as a father, that he didn't teach us boys how to be a man and that I had to look these aspects of growing up in the internet. Artofmanliness, pua forums, movies in general, oh my.
A lot of the values and goals he instilled in us have been rather destructive in our lifes. I realised that rather late, that the stories he told us with these values were outright wrong and didn't happen. The only useful advices were the ones he had experienced themselves, otherwise he has been an unreliabale narrator.
Sadly a lot of bad times in my life are directly and indirectly due to my father's decisions, even though I was the one wo made the decision rather freely. When you grow you are being given a hand you can play and the cards are very much influenced by your parent's actions, even if you thin
When I look at other people in my peer group I usually see equal or worse fathers were the sons had worse cards and had similiar problems.
That wasn't what destroyed the relationship, however. Mistakes happen and he did a lot of good things, so I don't hate him for what happened in my life, I just cannot exclude his influence.

The cut was when I lost all of my respect for him when I started to spend more time with him. All he does is watching TV and eating. There is no incentive in him to change anything in his life. I am ashamed of him, I don't want other people to see him and I don't really look into his eyes anymore. He doesn't have Alzheimers or is sick. Talking to him is nothing I enjoy anymore, especially since I cannot take his advices serious - they have been usually based on a fantasy in his mind he deemed true and created more problems.
A son should never despise his father and I think everyday where it went so wrong. I used to think that my life was great, that my family was fantastic and that I should be happy. The last few years have been a great deconstruction of all of it and it saddens me. The good thing is that it instilled me to become a great father, I want to make it better and grow up good, happy, well-adjusted and happy children.

>>16186060
Anon, don't bother. There are assholes that like to cause a scene here, just like in real life. You don't seem like a narcicisst.

[Anonymous No.16189800]

never seen him, left as soon as I was born that's what my mother tells me.
I suspect the reason I am with no directions in life or hope for the future is due to lack of fatherly figure to guide me towards something

[Anonymous No.16189843]

>>16187527
Sounds like you ditched a good man.