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/lit/ - Literature


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16041666 No.16041666 [Reply] [Original]

write what's on your mind, wends edition

>> No.16041687
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16041687

>>16041666
ok satan
stay cool

>> No.16041742

>>16041666
When and why did /his/ turn into such a crap board? It feels like I'm on some /b/ lite containment board for edgy redditors.

>> No.16041760

"Just be yourself" but I don't know who I am and it socks. I've tried to just copy the personalities and mannerisms of people in books or movies for so long i don't even know what the actual me is. It's like that greentext about Drive.

I think the only actual piece of me that I know is autistic.

>> No.16041788

>>16041666
Girls cheating on you is pretty hot when you think about it

>> No.16041843 [DELETED] 
File: 215 KB, 853x480, Akira-explosion.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16041843

It's interesting to see the evolution of the otaku narrative. Anime from the 1980s has a distinctly different quality to it that separates it from newer shows, and I think this reflects a fundamental change in otaku culture.
There is an underlying common narrative thread that repeats itself in shows like Jojo's Bizzare Adventure, Fist of the North Star, MD Geist, Berserk, Akira, etc. This fundamental narrative is the specific power fantasy that is presented to the viewer, a fantasy that speaks more about who otaku were as a collective at the time. Back then (and arguably still the case now) being an otaku in Japan was very much frowned upon by society. They were seen as unattractive loner freaks that would rather obsess about shows, buy figurines and other merchandise than study at school and get a job at a zaibatsu like everyone else. This is compounded by the otaku killer case, which further damaged their reputation amongst the general population. There was also a rising crime rate at the time like in other countries, and this was the heyday of bozosoku gangs and yankii, Japanese delinquents. Otaku faced with a society that shunned them were driven ever so much inwards and mangaka knowing their audience designed stories that appealed directly to a fantasy that would fit the otaku anti-social mindset.
This fantasy manifested itself by incorporating eschatology as a core element. The end of the world heralds the end of society that otaku grew to resent due to being shunned by it. After the end, the land turns to chaos and lawlessness with the weak being ruled by the strong ( a parallel between the rising crime rates and predictions that they would get worse in the future, as well as the rise of gangs). From the ashes of civilization rises a familiar figure: A musclebound, seemingly invincible badass that seems to be the only person standing up against the bad guys. This character personifies what otaku wish they were, and how they wish to to dispense justice on the wicked in the most brutal manner possible. This follows my next point: misanthropy, either overt or low-key is an omnipresent theme in all these stories. The narrative establishes that after the end doesn't come solidarity for your fellow man, but rather might makes right. This is the mindset typical of the old-school otaku, because their real life experiences instilled in them a deep sense of cynicism and pessimism about humans. The gore serves as catharsis for the otaku who believes that authority is either powerless or too corrupt to doll out proper punishment, and seeing human bodies so viscerally destroyed satisfies his misanthropy.

cont.

>> No.16041859

>>16041666

I feel like most of my artistic potential is wasted on shitposts. Maybe if I focused all my anger on making something that I actually valued I'd end up making something worthwhile, instead of just making anonymous posters seethe.

>> No.16041867

we need verbs, verbs do not need us.

>> No.16041912

Feeling like you have no will. Feeling like you have no self. Your personality is just your neuroses. Your affect is muted. Your range of expression is a millimeter wide. The things you used to like are no fun anymore. You will always be alone. You are serving a life sentence.

>> No.16041927

>>16041666
I hope I'm not right.

>> No.16042043
File: 2.43 MB, 498x413, The final boss of porn.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16042043

There is so much porn on my USB.

And yet, I only ever re-use a tiny fraction to COOM.

The search for new perverted frontiers is where the thrill, the rush of endorphins really comes from.

The is no feeling quite like finding a new stash, a new artist, a new video.

The endless search for fresh material. It's...... intoxicating.

Oh God, I'm gonna
COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

>> No.16042084

>>16042043
sorry to hear that anon, I hope you get a life and stop doing porn

>> No.16042313

In the manga Helk the demon country, whose assault by humanity and eldritch forces comprises the main conflict, is portrayed as being governed by a kind of enlightened feudalism wherein the various levels of peerage are filled by those with the strength and ability to protect the common citizens from the threats of their wasteland home and external enemies. These individuals are always upstanding people, never abusing their power or the citizens, in contrast to the mess of deception and treachery that plagues the human kingdom at all levels.

>> No.16042354
File: 1.65 MB, 2048x1536, vsco5ea2e0259989f.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16042354

It's been about a year since I asked her out, and we're still going strong, not without our troubles. Yet this noon, the mere sight of my ex was enough to still make me think about throwing myself at her feet.
Not even simping, I'm the one who pushed her away. First love scars deep, and more so knowing I left her alone with her shitty mother and absent father, because I was too young to understand we had found love.
My life will forever be marked by that guilt, just as the moon will always cast shadows in nightime. Should you somehow read this, I still love you.

>> No.16042950

Everything worked out.
No problems, no obstacles.
An effortless win.

>> No.16042972

god created woman to cause existential stress and suffering for man I wish I were a celibate virgin or gay

>> No.16042978
File: 203 KB, 887x676, 1584667043257.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16042978

How do I stop falling in love with Youtubers

So lonely

>> No.16043022

>>16041666
I'm the latrine, anon. I left this shit hole some days ago and I'm probably not going to get back. Came back to say that I'm not going to make another latrine. I might do something to educate retarded anons, but I'm definitely not going to commit the stupidity of spreading this shit any further. Thanks, bye.

>> No.16043038

>>16042978
Worse than falling in love is falling out of love anon. The sudden moment of soberness and disenchantment, when you realize how blindfolded you were to everything, the bitterness that comes with it, this is really the most hideous thing I've experienced.

>> No.16043430

I am well versed in the technique for overcoming vices. I am already at my 300th attempt.

>> No.16043487

>>16041666

Reading Mishima always inspires me to get fit. He really has made me appreciate the beauty of the healthy human form better than any other writer. I finish his works with a renewed desire for physical self improvement. It's so hard to believe that something as simple as health has become politicized these days. Who wouldn't want to be at peak physical performance?

>> No.16043495 [DELETED] 
File: 246 KB, 634x640, 1574893565091.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16043495

My mom is an elementary school teacher and she says something about introducing me to one of her pupils so we can date 10 years later. What the fuck is wrong with he

>> No.16043496

>>16042978
>watching youtubers that aren't old men talking about books or men working on cars you can't afford to own yourself

>> No.16043498

>>16043495
Based mom

>> No.16043511

>tfw 28 kv
>been thinking if i'm gay
>never had a male crush in a romantic way only in admiration or wanting to emulate
i guess im just sexually repressed guy

>> No.16043515

>>16043511
There's only one way to find out for sure, anon.

>> No.16043521

>>16043515
why would i be scared of women then?

>> No.16043525

>>16043521
Because women are scary, obviously

>> No.16043578

>>16041666
Neighbours constantly screaming, I miss living in detached houses in private compounds, at least jazz makes their chihuahua's barking a bit more rythmic. And why the fuck is jazz so hard to find online? Fucking japs don't know how to use a digitiser.

>> No.16043654
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16043654

My mom is an elementary school teacher and she says something about introducing me to one of her pupils so we can date 10 years later. What the fuck is wrong with her?

>> No.16043660

>>16043498
>>16043654

>> No.16043661

>>16043654
Based mom. What's wrong with you?

>> No.16043665

>>16041666
I really really really really want to fucking blow my brains out

>> No.16043669

>>16043665
Why?

>> No.16043671
File: 52 KB, 760x720, 1592538464289.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16043671

>>16041666
I fell asleep on my back a few weeks ago and I haven’t been able to sleep on my side since. This sucks

>> No.16043675

>>16043669
why not?

>> No.16043685

So you have five year window to jump on a train and if you didn't you must sit and wait fifty years for death to come. In what kind of a dumbass universe am I landed.

>> No.16043709

It's a sportsgame dummy. Sports! Valor! Deeds!
Fast!
Power!
Wash it down and spit it back out! Coat your throat in orange and gargle!
Late nights, practicing your throw or your run or your stroke or whatever after sundown, burning red and black sky, burning after the sun has waned. Wiping your brow, looking with determination, looking into games to come, into thousands of games..
And this is The Game! Heave-ho! Crowd goes wild! You've made friends with a guy named Romero, and you pitter-patter between plays! On the other side is a guy you recognize from the bus sometimes! There's an understanding between you that through all this bloodshed there will be again the civility of sitting a few seets off, but knowing. Maybe even sharing a look. Talking would be too much.

>> No.16043758

>>16042950

It all turned to shit
The way it always had been
Who is laughing now?

>> No.16043773

I really am just writing what comes to mind here

Angel-food cake. I don't even know what it looks like and I already dislike it. It aims too high. Angel-food? Get over yourself.
Strawberry short-cake. Short cake. Is it short? Is it a shortage? Is it a cake for betting against the strawberry harvest? Damn I like me a strawberry. I wish they had some, the store seems to have given up. Harvests gone. Maybe now would be a good time.
Plain vanilla. The strider. Onward, ever onward.
A chocolate cake where the frosting's made to be like tree bark, which means its distribution is incredibly uneven and you sometimes get a whole mouthful, and then you think "oh coffee will solve this" but somehow the coffee extracts the syrup out of the mixture clean out, and when it hits the back of your throat it genuinely hurts. And the hostess did so much work, and you have to smile, and there's a tear in your eye and you know she can tell, but both of you know that it's best just to accept this lie. Her kids are sweet, all dressed up but highly mobile. Maybe her and her husband will laugh at that tear while they're doing the washing up.

>> No.16043848

Hi, I'm Ben. It's not so easy being Ben. Ben walks around with an invisible noose around his neck. He's tried undoing the knot but he cannot find where the rope begins. It seems endless. He has followed it for miles and miles and it just keeps going. He's tried cutting the rope with a knife, but that just tightens the knot even more. Ben feels like he is suffocating. It's a horrible existence. But it's also rather comforting. There's only so much you can do with a rope around your neck. There aren't as many choices that you have to make. You just have to make sure you don't tread on the rope, because that is pretty darn painful. Ben dreams that there is a girl, somewhere out there in the world, who is attached to the other end of the rope. She knows exactly what it's like. This existence. He doesn't think he would be able to help her all that much - he doesn't even know how to help himself - but he could at least offer a bit of understanding and support. And maybe she could offer a bit back. That's the fantasy that keeps Ben going. Until then, Ben will keep trudging along, dragging the rope, pulling at the knot. Maybe he will find the end of the rope one day, or maybe the end of the rope will find him.

>> No.16043864

>>16043654
Your mom is smart, realising the only way to ge a decent wife in today's world is by grooming her from a young age to become a proper wife when she grows up.

>> No.16043865

If I was ugly my girl would never date me and I don’t know how to feel about that

>> No.16043877

>>16043865
your beauty is more than skin-deep, she can tell.

>> No.16043902

>>16043865
You don't feel the same about her?

>> No.16043907
File: 1.33 MB, 1080x720, A1D8944E-B394-44CA-A4F5-DC21BCB33FB2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16043907

>>16043877
I have low self esteem and body dysmorphia, I can’t even believe this

>> No.16043909

>>16043902
She is beautiful to me but not everyone

>> No.16043926
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16043926

There's so much mystery and horror and wonder in this world, yet here are all of you, walking through all of it as though someone cut your eyes and ears off, guided only by sensation. You proved you not only lack the ability to think beyond the frame but that you will not dare venture anywhere outside of it. You do not believe in God, in the soul, in more then just yourself. You do not even believe in yourself. But you do believe in what feels good and so you follow it obediently with every prickly sensation. The cost only matters when it affects you and so you withdraw a little but within time you're back on your path to feeling good. It's rewarding and it's so easy without any sacrifice or hardship or pain or work. Your mind starts to dull and your body grows corpulent with the easy food and shelter to keep you safe. What's legacy, what's the future, what's mystery or Heaven and Hell compared to feeling good right now with virtue signaling, with drugs, with orgasm, with alcohol, with the newest apps on your phone, with the internet to tell you what you want to hear and think and feed your pleasure and condone your behavior?

This was not intended, this was not why you were created, this is not what generations of your family had fought for with every travail, and death, and birth. But you were hypnotized by enemies of your race, your nation, your soul, your God and savior, into believing that life is not sacred, tolerance is a virtue, there is nothing past what is current, in the moment. You were hypnotized into giving up your survival instincts and in doing so, you gave up your eyes and ears and soul. You did not see the domination of yourself into submission and slavery and despair. You did not hear the screams of your ancestors and God telling you to stop and fight and break free. And with the departure of your soul, you will not go beyond the grave into a kingdom but into a den of suffering and perversion beyond words and torture with no moment of respite.

Life is a tapestry of wonders and terrors and eternal consequences. Nothing is short lived and every action will echo across time itself.

>> No.16044302

1/2
His name is Victor.
That's the way he would say it, without anything more added on.
"My name is Victor."
And he would leave the onus of the conversation on the other person. But the conversation never suffered for this, because he said it with a warmth that made it more resemble an invitation. "My name is Victor.", but with smiling eyes. Even if you were a woman, seated at passport control, hour after hour, life lost to drudging monotony, nails painted like the last decade when you had hope- Victor invited you, you shared a thing or two, and he walked on. You knew you'd never see him again, and that it hadn't been romantic. Wherever he went he consistently met the best in people.
Victor did not drink too much. His only political opinion was that he believed in justice, and this satisfied most everyone he met that he was on their side. The poor drunk waiting for a bus, the check-out-lady at the library, the person choosing a bread at the store... Victor was ready to be a guest in any house, and most would have him.
Why was he like this? The question may seem unnecessarily sharp, but if you are anything like me you will know that it is not unwarranted. Not a "how"- the "how" comes later- first of all it's a "why". I'm not sure I know. What I do know is that Victor was a poet. And if the everyday love of his livelyhood was his joy, then his craft was that joy brought to life. By Gods great mercy Victor was endowed with an unfailing curiousity- unfailing even in the face of a humanity that had long since given up on itself. The city was as his lungs: he breathed it in; then retired to his home; and breathed it out. He rented a room in a suburb, from a landlord named Adam. Adams parents had believed that, generally speaking, and in the broadest sense conceivable, the worst was over.

>> No.16044307

>>16044302
2/2
Victor was allowed joy. Some say this is a great gift. Perhaps. Maybe not for Victor. Or was this joy born out of suffering? An informed choice if you will- a conclusion reached after years of agony? The idea that every single human being had a right to feel heard?
But wasn't that Gods task? Or that of a good friend? Loneliness is an unbearable pain, it is true, and fear of loneliness as urgent as that of a housefire. And the best you can do for it is let people feel heard. Maybe Vic wasn't all bad.
Gods task and men. Mercy by choice or by nature. If Victor had truly learned by suffering, and if his suffering had truly borne selflessness, then he was one of the best of us And we profited by his so being. If he had been born to be a recorder of lives, and only fulfilled his station- then he was neither good nor bad, but then God would have been exceedingly good to use him as an instrument for our sake. And if Victor was nothing but a robber in the night- well, then God has weaved for us an interesting web indeed.
Victor was in love. He always breathed steady, even when he was around her, but you could tell that his head was slightly pulled back. He spoke less when he was with her, and when he did he said more, and said it faster. She on the other hand spoke more when she was with him. She had a son, Alex, and when she couldn't think of anything to say she spoke about him. "Alex drew a picture of a cat painting a house today. I told him that painting a house is a serious task, and that you must be very determined when you set out, and he gave me a short nod... I don't know what I'll come home to-!"; "Alex overheard me use the word gargantuan, and now everything he encounters is garGANtuan. If you ask him how hungry he is, I'm sure he'd say "garGANtuan"!" She didn't say these things because she was uncomfortable, quite the oposite. She liked to let her hands run over things, picking things up and looking at them. Adams home was sparsely populated, but Victor made sure that there were flowers in order to give her hands something to do. Whenever his friends came over she would arrange them and rearrange them, not sure herself what she was doing, while she hummed or spoke rythmically and firmly. She liked to speak of her life in little lectures that seemed to tip over at the end.

sorry for the cliffhanger, I gotta think of a story for her to tell, but I can't think right now, I'll go to the store and mull it over.

>> No.16044394

>>16041687
hot

>> No.16044401

>>16041666
I got a bad amount of rest a few days ago after fighting with my parents and now my sleep schedule will take months to normalize itself.

>> No.16044568

Almost destroyed a forklift yesterday because I didn't check the battery properly when I plugged it in. I've done this hundreds of times before and the one time I actually forgot was when it mattered. Such is life. Also are there any books where the protagonist is a chad forklift operator?

>> No.16044596

>>16044401
try working out or running until you vomit and sleep depriving for one night until bed time

>> No.16044740

>>16043654
Somebody's been reading her Quran

>> No.16044817

>>16041666
I really, really dislike travelers.

>> No.16044894

What is your opinion about Jordan Peterson? Is his book truly useful to better myself as a human being? I'd like to be able to better my attention span, being able to stick to a schedule, stop spending so much time on 4chan. thanks for reading my blog post

>> No.16045099

>>16044894
As far as self help books go it's probably okay.

>> No.16045247

>>16041666
My aunt is going to die tomorrow. It's fucked, of all the shitheads in my family the kind and loving aunt gets terminal cancer. Makes me so fucking angry, her kids are going to go through hell. I really hope they turn out okay. She's my mom's best friend, I worry for her mental health and I fear a relapse into alcoholism. Shit's fucked

>> No.16045312

>”America does not have a class system, it is a free country!”
>20% of the population safely chilling at home watching their portfolios go up while the rest are unemployed or putting themselves in harms way daily
You don’t have to be a commie to see this

>> No.16045336

>>16043654
Holy mother of based

>> No.16045352

>>16043758
Shadows hastening
as winter approaches us.
It will get darker.

>> No.16045376
File: 77 KB, 1080x1440, IMG_20200406_101155.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16045376

I've been wondering whether or not Simps are the evolution from "Nice Guys". Or are they similar to "Beta Orbiters"? Nice guys and Beta Orbiters are similar but they're not completely the same as we know how "nice guys/girls" tend to react towards anything that doesn't go their way, however they don't seem like the kind who'd play along with the person they're trying to court or expect to be courted by. Beta orbiters are, as the name implies, orbiters who are too weak willed to even have a spine against any indignant action towards them. They're always on their backs showing their belly so as to gain favour.
Simps on the other hand feels like a mix between the two. A bit of 'nice guy''s entitlement and yet at the same time spinelessness of a beta.

>> No.16045379

>>16045312
How stupid and willfully ignorant people are in this country causes me actual pain. The metaphor of America as a sick country is a doubly apt one. Not only in the sense that it is pandemic ravaged, but there is illness in its culture, its norms, its economy. Anyone who doesn't see it is in the throes of denial. The question now is whether this disease is curable or terminal.

>> No.16045511

>someone's views counteract with mine
>think of having a dialectic with them too see who's correct
>then think of how much easier it would be if i just killed them and anyone who shares their opinion
Damn, Staling was really up to something wasn't he?

>> No.16045615

>>16045511
Yeah but you can't kill an idea. That becomes a murderous game of wack-a-mole in which you try to drive out an abstraction by anyone who entertains the thought.

>> No.16045665
File: 15 KB, 275x361, Pickpocketposter.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16045665

For anyone whose a fan of Crime & Punishment, watch Bresson's Pickpocket. Its a very good film in its own right, and there are a lot of similarities between the two works, especially the relationship between the main character and an antagonistic policeman. I'm going off memory here, but I'm fairly sure that a big reveal in the film is worded exactly the same as a mirror one in the book. It's also only 75 minutes so it won't have wasted too much of your time if you don't like it. But you will because it's a fuckin banger. Watch it lads.

>> No.16045713

>>16045379
>illness in its culture
In what sense?

>> No.16045761 [DELETED] 

>>16041666

The rain brushes down my windowsill, leaves are nudged but the clouds remain a sole grey lump. A damp smell whips my room and then returns outside like a fussy bird. Occasionally sirens sing on the rough wind, this, and the jostling leaves is all I listen to.

>> No.16045783

The rain brushes down my windowsill, leaves are nudged but the clouds remain a sole grey lump. A damp smell whips my room then returns outside like a fussy bird. Occasionally sirens sing on the rough wind, this, and the jostling of leaves is all I listen to.

>> No.16045785

>>16045665
It's probably my favorite movie with Offret. Nice tastes anon

>> No.16046233

Just watched the movie Patterns on youtube. It's amazing what you can find for free online. It dealt with stuff like how you reconcile ambition and moral responsibility. Probably not important for me because I don't feel like I'll soon be in a position of power where my decisions have a lot of weight but nonetheless it was a very entertaining and fun movie to watch. I wrote down some cool phrases that were used in it to use myself later.
Sometimes I feel kind of sad that I have no actual friends to share it all with.
I'm going to watch another movie and go to sleep.

>> No.16046239 [DELETED] 

Huge explosion on the first Tuesday of the month? Yup, it's CIA.

>> No.16046274

>>16046233
>It's amazing what you can find for free online
you can literally type any movie watch free online into google and find it on the first page, scihub is cool too, didnt you ever use limewire?

>> No.16046313

>>16045376
where does internet culture pull out this shit vocabulary from? howdy simps yall vibe my feel ik what u mean

>> No.16046317

>>16046239
>Ship explodes
>Check to see who shares border/sea border with Le anon
hmm

>> No.16046324

>>16046274
If so, then link us up a stream of "Santa, The Fascist Years" by Bill Plympton.

>> No.16046362 [DELETED] 

>>16045376
On the etymology of simp, isn't it derived from simpleton? Could any rap philologists find early uses of the term? Did it always mean what it means now, or did the meaning shift?

>> No.16046804

I should stop jerking to sfm porn.

>> No.16046862

I started a new journal a month ago and I've honestly been so much better and more positive. Aiming to fill it with nice things has turned my entire view of the world around. I'm taking more risks and spending more time with friends and on improving myself. I've been journaling regularly since January 2018 but this is the first book I'm treating under the banner of happiness. The lease on my place is going to expire in November, which I used to be completely terrified of, whereas now I'm thinking it might be the beautiful start of something new (if I don't still get an extension). Next step is to talk to girls.

>> No.16046990

>>16046862
I like reading positive posts, thanks anon.

>> No.16047017
File: 279 KB, 406x720, AA343C72-17A2-441B-BF4D-2A288FE95D23.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16047017

i made some fried chicken and brussels sprouts and i really liked them

>> No.16047025

>>16041788
how so?

>> No.16047028

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co0f-XSrcnU
>Mean Streets v.14 | New York City Skateboarding

Hell yeah, Transworld hasn't posted one of these in ages

>> No.16047094

>>16045352

A glimmer of hope
Does not the sun rise each day?
We must keep going

>> No.16047121

>>16045713
I'm glad you asked because I've wanted to vent about it.
As with anything involving millions of humans the true causes are exceedingly complex. If I had to reduce it to one factor it would be a kind of malignant individualism which has been exacerbated by capitalism and technology.
There is virtually no notion of the commonwealth in the United States. Everyone is in it for themselves and if anything, views others as competitors, nuisances, or means to an end. Social trust is at all time lows. Communities are fragmented or nonexistent. Atomization is very high, so no one thinks of their issues systematically. The very epistemological concept that people's economic issues could have broad systematic causes is inconceivable, unless it is for relatively insular racial grievances. As a result of this rabid individualism, all political problems are personalized. Completely disarmed and disenfranchised in this way, many drown their issues in substance abuse or through explosive resentment rather than through organized solidarity. People's frustrations have no valid political outlets, so they lash out in riots or shoot up malls.
It took a public health crisis to underscore and highlight these disturbances, so that the evidence for them is undeniable. Many have their healthcare tied to their jobs and taken away at a critical moment. That's just one glaring example. Americans need to feel they have a collective stake in their country rather than just looking it as an exploitable business opportunity.

The rising economic inequality is just one fracture line among many (political, racial, etc), but it is one that will prove decisive. The almost schizophrenic divergence of the soaring stock market with cratering unemployment and collapsing small businesses combined with an ineffectual or even hostile government is just a sign of how dissociated the elites are from the poor.

>> No.16047157

>>16044894
Much, much better to read Scott Adam's 'how to fail at almost everything and still win big' if you actually want to improve your life, peterson will just make you feel better about not improving your life

>> No.16047179

>>16047028
I can't believe that dude ollied over the wall at the CBS building on 52nd, that shit is huge!

>> No.16047206

>>16045376
All of them fall under the basic social category of "gamma male" in the socio-sexual hierarchy - look up Vox Day for more information on it.

I would argue the link between all of them is a type of cowardice that prevents them from making advances towards women in any direct way, so that they must make their approaches through concealment or "friendship." Simps want to fuck women, just like anyone else, but their particular strategy involves allying with women and getting close to them that way, by "being on their side." It's all just a form of basic desire for sex/love + cowardice

>> No.16047222 [DELETED] 

>>16047206
If the only negative outcome of making an advance was rejection, no one would be stopped by that, but when the negative outcome is getting fired, blacklisted, deplatformed, debanked, and generally made destitute, it's like nah, i'll just have a wank.

>> No.16047257

>>16047222
Most people wouldn't be stopped by it, but there are a specific subset of males who would, have been, and will be regardless of cancel culture because they have an intrinsically cowardly behavior pattern. The irony is that they will still be cancelled because the creepy, indirect way they will approach women will get them reported, whereas if they just made a direct, forward advance, it would be taken so much better even if they were rejected

>> No.16047269

>>16046990
That's nice to hear anon. I'm struggling with depression and anxiety as much as the next anon, but I've been trying very hard to see the other side of things, to realise how much the machinations of your own thoughts shape reality.

>> No.16047271

>>16047094
Trees withstand the wind
trunks bent in the wind like sails
reaching to heaven.

>> No.16047281

fuck i said wind twice

>> No.16047291

Been struggling to overcome my coomer ways (overcoom, if you will)
Starting this shit fucking habit has demolished my dopamine receptors and now it’s an achievement if I make it a week without

>> No.16047468

Was Chan-free for a while and have decided to dip into this latest write what’s on your mind thread because I’m miserable and I want to kill myself. I want to tell someone even if that only means screaming it into impersonal void this place is. It comes and goes. I only hope that at some point it doesn’t take all of me along with it at some point.

>> No.16047524

>>16047271
>>16047281

Oh no, an error
It fades into nothingness
You will be reborn

>> No.16047632

>>16047468

The end is the end is the end, anon
May as well stick it out :)
Be strong and be kind to yourself

>> No.16047715

>>16047468
What's wrong anon? I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

>> No.16047924

in the game of delusion truthful is losing

>> No.16048331

Im afraid of things in which others put faith like life, love and self. I dont know who am i and my first thought is no one. I wish i could be life-affirmer but im terribly scared of change.

>> No.16048379

>>16041666
uhguddy buhguddy unk
squngle chungus
ass so phat
and my bitches pussy got fungus

>> No.16048498

Sometimes when I'm sitting alone in my dim living room late at night, watching the city lights twinkling outside my window, I feel like I want to rip out of my skin, tear my bones from flesh, and soar through my balcony door into the night sky. I want to escape but leave my burning self behind, I want to scream until my lungs are filled with blood and I suffocate in gurgling agony. I want to see the clouds up close and penetrate them, emerge far above in serene moonlight, pierce the heavens and kiss a star. I want to plummet through the atmosphere, smash into cement and submerge in silence.

>> No.16048561

The CIA is fucking bullshit. It was established in 1947 and its first top-secret directive from the NSC was to engage in anti-Soviet psyops. Their very first mission was ILLEGAL FOREIGN ELECTION INTERFERENCE in the 1948 Italian elections. Congress never approved it but they just went and did it illegally. They took chunks of a $200 million fund established from WW2 loot that was earmarked to rebuild Europe, they had the money disbursed to prominent Italian-Americans who then forwarded the money to agents in Italy who handed it over in literally duffel bags to members of Catholic Action who then got it to the Christian Democrats, who ended up comfortably winning the election. After that success, when the Marshall Plan went into effect and we gave money to 19 countries to rebuild from the war, the countries we funded had to set aside equivalent amounts, and the CIA was given access to 5% of those set-asides. This guaranteed them funding for covert action that congress wouldn't even know about, forever. So from the very beginning it's just illegal horseshit. Every employee of the CIA should be mulched.

>> No.16048564

Writing feels so fucking tryhard.

>> No.16048587

>>16048561
Im from italy.
It is true that CIA helped the DC party but the Communist Party in Italy was very strong and took a lot of money from Soviet Union, so...

>> No.16048598

Every creative writing professor I've had is shit, all they do is let their students ramble, while they look on and pretend to give a shit.

>> No.16048602

>>16048587
Thanks CIA for not living in a communist country, the DC & the mafia killed thousand of people but otherwise some hundred thousand would haved starve for communism

>> No.16048632

>>16048587
>>16048602
I'd like to hear more, and I don't pretend to know much about the context about this specific election, and I don't doubt the soviets were similarly running game in your country - but what's bothering me more, is that from the very beginning the CIA was just doing illegal shit in foreign countries with no congressional approval, in the interest of culture wars. And they were establishing slush funds to do it with that congress didn't know about. There was (is?) no way to get them on a leash. This affected a whole lot more countries than Italy in the rest of the century and up to the present.

>> No.16048653

>>16043654
b a s e d

>> No.16048702

>>16048561
Don't worry, when you get into their later history, they get their comeuppance. During Reagan's tenure, when people like Wolfowitz and Perle are first gaining ins with policy, there was a political move to make out that Russia was really bad. The CIA knew they didn't have silos of missiles and shit, because they had photographed most of Russia. The policymakers tried to convince the CIA that the photographs really showed something else, like a chicken hut was really a nuclear cache. The CIA knew that the Russians didn't have radar or sonar capacities like the US forces did. The policymakers told the CIA that just meant they had special radar and sonar that were so advanced the US couldn't detect them. The CIA was basically already freaking out and pissed off at this stage, but then the policymakers said they had proof that the Russians were infiltrating Europe: the CIA propaganda which the CIA obviously knew were false reports since they had written them. Then the policymakers decided that the CIA might be working for Russia since they weren't scared enough of Russia and hired sci-fi writers to plan Reagan's defence policy instead.

>> No.16048905

We are literally beings made of stardust. In a sense, until every atom that is making up our body is disintegrated it is guaranteed that our existence will continue to follow its natural course.
Whether or not you are happy will not affect you the slightest in the grand schemes of things. We shouldn't need to look forward to times of happiness, nor backward.
The clock is ticking and your time on Earth is insignificant, go, and make your human life worth something.

>> No.16048979
File: 2.61 MB, 3456x4608, IMG_20200423_142540.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16048979

>>16041666
>Had to go get jaw surgery yesterday
>Leave at 4am
>Mom hasn't found anyone to feed our dog
>I recommend having a co-worker come in and feed, but she doesn't trust strangers in the house
>Tell her to just stay with the dog since I'm eighteen and he's fucking one
>She gets him a self feeder thinking he's just gonna eat little bits throughout the day
>Soon as she puts it down he just keeps eating and eating
>Starts fucking throwing up
>I tell her to put that shit away and stay with him while I'm in surgery
>Ignores me, calls my dog a dumbass for eating too much and tells me to shut up and wait in the car
>Obey her since I was taught to respect my parents
>Get to the hospital, mom goes back to check on home about an hour away
>Comes back and tells me he's dead
I genuinely want to fucking kill her. I told her he was gonna die but she didn't listen. Fuck my surgery, his life was more important. This was all my fault. I've been crying uncontrollable ever since we left and nearly fainted when I went into the kitchen where we kept him. I miss him so fucking much Bros. I don't think anything can replace the hole he's left in my life.

>> No.16048996

>>16048979
Is this bait?
What the fuck kind of mom do you have?
And how long were you in the fucking hospital?

>> No.16049000
File: 3.16 MB, 2912x2484, BFD25843-1482-4FC3-9577-E2156B2989BB.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16049000

https://youtu.be/dNa5V25V_ts

I just talked about it for 7 mins with a visual novel mobile gameplay lol

>> No.16049011
File: 1.92 MB, 3456x4608, IMG_20200506_090921.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16049011

>>16048996
Here's another picture. I have a genuine dumbass for a fucking mother. No father to keep her ass in line. I was in the hospital all day yesterday and just got home. I told her that when my jaw is done recovering I'm fucking moving out and cutting all contact. It's fault for trusting that retard.

>> No.16049015

>>16048979
Holy shit this is something that hits close to home lol, how the fuck did you manage to not break?

>> No.16049024

what's on your mind, wends edition

>> No.16049025

>>16049015
If I wasn't convinced of the existence of a Christian God I'd slice her fucking throat.

>> No.16049032

>>16049011
You should definitely do that.
But how does your dog die in one day without food?

>> No.16049065

How to stop gay men from wanting to feel your body

>> No.16049083

>>16049065
That's not your problem.

>> No.16049112

>>16049083
It becomes my problem when the gay men touch my body

>> No.16049116

>>16049032
I assume he means that the poor dog died from eating the day’s amount in one sitting, which can overload his belly and most small dogs can die from that

>>16049025
Exodus 22:18

>> No.16049148

>>16049065
Fuck them so they realize you have a fat ass and small cock

>> No.16049154

>>16049032
This >>16049116
My dog was only 5 pounds heavy and one year old. The dumb bitch gave him an entire day's serving and when he started throwing up she left him like that at the house. She called him stupid and told me that "dumbasses need to learn their lessons". I can't stress how tempted I am to kill her.

>> No.16049158

>>16041742
Summer Slam

>> No.16049166

>>16049154
Don't kill your mom man what the fuck.
Just move out and cut contact so she knows how fucking retarded she is.

>> No.16049229

>>16049166
I have enough self control to abstain from killing. I have to let my jaw heal for 6 weeks, after that I plan to get my old job back and move into an apartment on my own. My whole family is filled with so many retards I can write a fucking book on them. Will definitely cut off all contact and likely change my name.

>> No.16049323

Why yes, I wish to lather her naked body with sensous essential oils and mentholic infusions, half-submerged in a mineral spring. Who is this "her"? Ah, just an immaterial entity in my imagination. An entity I want to KILL ONCE AND FOR ALL SO SHE WON'T DISTURB MY FUCKING LATE-NIGHT READING ALL I WANT TO DO IS STUDY WITHOUT GETTING AROUSED FOR LITERALLY NO REASON AT ALL IT HAPPENS I JUST GET TIRED AND FUCK I CAAAAAN'T CONCENTRATE THE FLESH IS SO DAMN WEAK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>> No.16049341

Do you ever wonder what habits of yours you have now that your future self will look back on with disdain?

>> No.16049404

>>16049341
probably chain smoking without filters but then again I don't care what some old cuck will think about me in 20 years

>> No.16049952

4chan is unironically one of the best places to hang out.

>> No.16049958

I need to reconfigure my sleep schedule. Its not completely out of whack, the only issue is that my body NEEDS eight hours of sleep otherwise I will literally begin to doze off even when already out of bed. That doesn't sound like its a problem but I god damn can't get myself to fall asleep at a regular time. If I get into bed at 10pm I'll stay awake until 2am, then wake up at 10am no matter how hard I try to get up earlier. I know the solutions to my problems, I need to exercise more, spend less time online etc. Just venting while I take a shit.

>> No.16049973

>>16049952
That's very gay of you to say but I agree, it's kinda like popping into a 17th century French salon except everybody is retarded

>> No.16049996 [DELETED] 

>>16041666
Does anyone else get annoyed talking about philosophy with lays who think they understand it or have actually investigated beyond a pop-philosophy level? I have no issues with people with genuine curiosity. It's more so people who throw around meme buzzwords.

>> No.16050006

>>16041666
Does anyone else get annoyed talking about philosophy with lays who think they understand it or have actually investigated beyond a pop-philosophy level? I have no issues with people with genuine curiosity. It's more so people who throw around meme buzzwords.

>> No.16050016

>>16050006
talking philosophy on here gets a little tiresome cause incels extremely invest their ego in having The Right View and sperg aggressively in any discusso

>> No.16050023

>>16041788
It's really not dude

>> No.16050026

Eyes are so uniquely beautiful. It's curious, it's the eye that perceives itself and the brain that interprets them as beautiful. They are truly alluring in a way that I think goes beyond evolutionary psychology. Evolutionarily eyes are important of course, but they didn't need to be so beautiful.

>> No.16050071
File: 7 KB, 212x238, coffee.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16050071

>on and off nofap because it never does anything but make me more miserable
>get disgusted with myself
>hastily swear oath i will do 2 months
>swear not to cheat by looking at sexy pics or thinking of sexy things
>tfw day 4

>> No.16050083

>>16050026
It's the most expressive and exposed/ing part of the body

>> No.16050273

>>16050071
I wouldn't bother setting goals or counting days with nofap, the more you focus on not doing it the harder it gets. Just tell yourself you're not going to fap for a while and then do you best to forget fapping even exists as a concept. When you're horny don't sit around trying to actively fight the urges, do something that will distract your attention from it and let it pass over you.

>> No.16050301

>>16041788
>>>reddit

>> No.16050310

>>16041859
sasuke your anger will only consume you, hate is weak and love is strong, for beauty is strength, and love is grace, and hate is stumbling as foolishness.

>> No.16050358

>>16050026
She had very kind almond eyes

>> No.16050361

I have so many ideas for novels and I work on different ones each day, I'm pretty deep into a few. I feel discouraged, though, knowing I'm pushing myself to the limit, working full time then coming home and straining my mind on things that will never be publishable, never be read. I don't think I am a genius but I want people to be able to simply relate and connect to what I write. I want the work to be positive for people and leave them laughing or smiling after all is said and done and give them a slightly new perspective to tap into. But it's just not marketable material, none of the ideas, so it all feels so purposeless. I know it's okay to write just for you but, it's discouraging to know it will only be for you in the end.

>> No.16050418

>>16041760
You don't need to know who you are to be who you are. React genuinely and as honestly as you can without causing unreasonable amounts of offence. Eventually you will find out who you are by following these impulses. It's scary because deep down I always thought I'd fuck it up. Haven't so far.

>> No.16050726

>>16050083
Very true, but it's the iris itself that I find so mesmeric. It doesn't matter the colour, the intricacy of the iris is transfixing.

>> No.16050765

Mushroom clouds in bloom
global war approaching fast
reduction to ash.

>> No.16050813

>>16043654
This would unironically be a good idea. You have a smart mom anon. Consider yourself lucky.

>> No.16050855

>>16050765
Nice haiku
If I were to die this year it would be a shame
But as I go I would face doom knowing one thing
Greed is to blame.

>> No.16050899

>>16041687
This man burning himself because of another misguided christian monster. Remember that christianity is suppose to be religion of pacifism.

>“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Romans 12:19

>"Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth" Matthew 5:38
>"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also."Matthew 5:39

>> No.16050925

Should I get Lolita in it's original form, or get a good translation so that I can lend it my monolingual friend?

>> No.16051348
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16051348

>>16041912
guys how the fuck do I get out of hell

>> No.16051418

>>16043496
Who are some YouTubers like this?

>> No.16051427

>>16043926
How do I break free anon

>> No.16051481

The more research I do the more I realize China is a great evil and that if America should fall an impossible darkness will descend upon the peoples of the earth. It is unambiguous for anyone who has read 1984. The CCP and its draconian rule over China, and soon the world if America and its allies (mainly Japan, South Korea, Australia, and Britain) don't stop them, a technological nightmare beyond common reckoning will become the norm and drive the human species towards a fate of crude animal chattel slavery dressed up in apps and gadgets.

>> No.16051522

>>16051481
Imagine believing that China does anything evil, draconian, or "orwellian" that the US doesn't already do. I don;'t understand the hordes of people that mindlessly repeat "oh my god what if china takes over!!!1"

What the fuck difference does it make if it's china or the us ruling over everything? It's still fucking bad for any empire to have undue influence over the globe. The US had their reign, now it's china's turn. Why is America ruling the world improper and China ruling it immoral?

>> No.16051527

>>16051481
The idea of America as the bulwark of freedom against a world of tyrannies is nothing but a CIA psyop run out of control. It was never supposed to be this way before the Truman Doctrine, yet we have never deviated from it since. The "world police..." we will be lucky enough if we can shrug off our own overlords, let the other nations of the world deal with theirs. The brightest light of hope in recent memory was a police station burning in Minneapolis. But it went nowhere. Subverted as these things always are by the theatre of the spectacle, a 60 day siege of a courthouse in Portland, culminating in a quick show of force by the state.

>> No.16051528

>>16051522
*America ruling the world proper

>> No.16051533

>>16051522
americans are stupid but gooks are zergs that will consume the entire world and replace it with wumao retards like you and not think twice

>> No.16051544

>>16051533
>wumao
Fuck china. I just don't think they're more evil than us

>> No.16051554

>>16051522
imagine believing china is going to take over the world or that the modern constructs of orwellian behavior is anything other than a dubious method of delegitimizing the sovereignty of authoritarian governments that are enemies of the state or at the very least conflict with
its interests

>> No.16051564

>>16051522
>>16051527
Thanks for your input Chang. I'm sure this won you a few social credit points.
In all seriousness, read this article
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/09/china-ai-surveillance/614197/
As bad as America is, and believe me I know it is bad, it only collects data on everybody to make money. China instead views everything in terms of advancing the singular and incontestable power of the Chinese Communist Party. America has not used its technical powers to do anything like the forced reeducation and mass surveillance of the Uighur population. Even during the War on Terror, Muslims in America enjoyed a freedom and flexibility that the Uighur's could only dream of. Imagine what would happen if any new acquisition of China was subjected to the same treatment as the Uighur's . They used them as a test case to perfect their mass surveillance methods which all fall under centralized state control. Alibaba's City Brain tech, for example, with its network of AI powered cameras, can pick out any single person walking down the street for any reason that upsets the CCP.

>> No.16051582
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16051582

>>16051564
>read this article
No. Read a book and deprogram the CIA psyops from your mind. I recommend this one.

>> No.16051584

>>16051522
The current state of CCP is such that Winnie the Pooh is said to rule for the rest of his natural life. At this point he has control over everything and there's no room for desent, discussion or criticism. Any objections will hammered down. Time and time again has history showed us how someone or a singular party having all the party can lead to downfall. The CCP is already corrupted as it is, but the saying goes, "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely"

>> No.16051589

>>16051564
>China instead views everything in terms of advancing the singular and incontestable power
So does the US, just not for the communist party
>America has not used its technical powers to do anything like the forced reeducation and mass surveillance
It very much has, we're just a little more covert

>> No.16051599

>>16051584
>control over everything and there's no room for desent, discussion or criticism. Any objections will hammered down
Sounds awfully familiar

>> No.16051612

The greatest trick the glowies ever pulled was convincing Americans that something called "Western Culture" exists and that existing within it is "Freedom" and all the "Communist Nations," then the USSR and now the CCP, are something like a toxic virus which any action is justified in containing and opposing.

>> No.16051626

>>16051612
Indeed, and the recent surge of anti Russian fear in 2016 along with the latest China fear are just the horrified screams of the elite as they begin to acknowledge that the US is losing its power on the world stage

>> No.16051640

>>16051582
>muh CIA
The CIA has never influenced a single iota of my thinking, I can assure you. Take some meds.
>>16051589
As far as I'm concerned the US hasn't had concentration camps since the 1940s. Even some of China's most brilliant AI scientists express opposition to what is happening there.
America is bad but has the advantage of private enterprise limiting the power of government. When is the last time China called all its leading tech CEOs to testify before their hearings? Never, because each and every one of them is a CCP agent dressed up as a private enterprise.

From the article I linked:

Before bidding Yi [ Yi Zeng, one of China's top AI researchers] farewell, I asked him to imagine things unfolding another way. “Suppose you finish your digital, high-resolution model of the brain,” I said. “And suppose it attains some rudimentary form of consciousness. And suppose, over time, you’re able to improve it, until it outperforms humans in every cognitive task, with the exception of empathy. You keep it locked down in safe mode until you achieve that last step. But then one day, the government’s security services break down your office door. They know you have this AI on your computer. They want to use it as the software for a new hardware platform, an artificial humanoid soldier. They’ve already manufactured a billion of them, and they don’t give a damn if they’re wired with empathy. They demand your password. Do you give it to them?”

“I would destroy my computer and leave,” Yi said.

“Really?” I replied.

“Yes, really,” he said. “At that point, it would be time to quit my job and go focus on robots that create art.”

>> No.16051642

>>16051640
>The CIA has never influenced a single iota of my thinking, I can assure you. Take some meds.
Oh anon. How could I? You already took all of them.

>> No.16051645
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16051645

>>16051642
>ok sweaty

>> No.16051675

>>16051582
why do you think you can buy this book on Amazon but you can't buy books about jews and banks

>> No.16051684

>>16051675
I bought Culture of Critique on Amazon years ago. If they've since taken it down, I guess that's a "you" problem.

>> No.16051703
File: 166 KB, 512x310, 1feqgpskn6tvmnptkru6ni8nj9mqdsvy5nga72ibt6jt5yn9vjur2mzldmjj3yd54avngc01xvszfdofl_okynbigjc.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16051703

I have broken up with multiple girlfriends because they wanted sex and I did not. I feel stuck a bit, as a Catholic. I am determined to avoid sex until marriage, because this is what the Church teaches. I have fucked up unending times on avoiding masturbation, but I have still actively resisted sex before marriage and I would like to continue that. At the same time, I keep being attracted to women who are probably not virgins and who definitely are interested in sex before marriage. People say "find a good Christian girl" but so many of them are very boring, and all the really interesting ones seem to already be married to other men. I keep being drawn in by girls who actually are rather compelling, but they all seem to be interested in just fucking right away, which I am definitely not interested in.

Am I just too picky? At the same time, why should I lower my standards?

>> No.16051718

what should i do? like day to day
i just think humans ruin/have ruined like everything
and so as a human all i feel i can do is make things worse
i dont think i can contribute in any helpful way
i dont get it

>> No.16051885

>>16051703
Just as I had to, you'll one day realise how retarded this view is, and what you're actually doing to yourself.

>> No.16051893

I dont know what i want. I've been doing what others wanted me to do for so long that i've sold myself. I remember reading somewhere that an idea chooses a person and not the opposite. I guess im just not meant to succeed.

>> No.16052082

Why did no one tell me MGS3 is literally a retelling of Bhagavad Gita?

>> No.16052093

feeling down
nobody to talk to
I guess a lot of other posters in this thread are like that too

>> No.16052097

decided to try out my local library system thinking it might be the best of both worlds (free + non-digital) but their selection is even worse than i thought: no Augustine, no Aquinas, no Plato, no Aristotle, no Samuel Johnson, the most literary thing i found was a Murakami

>> No.16052118

>>16051885
Virtue is its own reward.

>> No.16052154

>>16052093
how are you feeling atm? Im one of those posters without reply.

>> No.16052204

>>16052154
I feel like I'm too old to grow anymore and I still have way too much growing left to do

>> No.16052236

Anon feels he's stuck,
but this feeling heralds growth.
He will get better.
:)

>> No.16052553

>>16052204
Could explain in greater detail?

>> No.16052711

>>16046862
Update: I got a three year extension on my lease which is such a relief, and I'm meeting a renowned professor over a glass of wine tonight. Could life actually be daijoubu?

>> No.16052798

Something hot in your stomach, then cold, then prickling like ants. Read it again. Skim over it, then read it again. Reach the full stop, couldn’t make any sense. Realise your fingers grow limp. Realise you can’t focus. Try to focus. Who am I kidding. I’m weak. Read it again.

'Unfortunately, we have decided not to—'

Blink. New tab. Exhale. Press your eyelids with your palms. Read it again. No—
Be brave and read it again.

'Dear Ms. Tomassi,

Thank you for trusting us with your work.
Unfortunately, we have decided not to include your piece ‘Iran Air’ in our next issue. While we enjoyed reading your work, we felt that it was not the perfect fit with our journal’s style.
We encourage you to keep writing and wish you the best of luck in your literary endeavors.

Sincerely,
Marcus LM
Fiction Editor
Leave Nothing Behind Journal'

It’s okay. Tell yourself that.

>tfw rejected

>> No.16053058

>>16051703
Well technically masturbation is just as bad as fornication if not worse according to Catholic theology so technically people who do or did fap have no place to judge them beneath. I kinda felt disgusted about non-virgins at one point but I'm trying to think this way in attempt of humility.

>> No.16053174

>tfw read how philosopher says that nietszche is dangerous to vulnerable and sensitive minds and his works should be used in addition to your experience.
Is there any truth to it?

>> No.16053304

>>16041666
I want to cry but I can't.

>> No.16053358

>>16052798
Kino, anon.

>> No.16053372

Jealousy is such a nasty emotion. I only seem to get jealous of people who are my friends and who I really like. I feel I have no control over it. It just rises up and I can feel it twisting inside of me. I wish I wouldn't feel it. The fact that I detest the emotion makes it even worse. Some negative emotions, like anger, are pleasant to feel. They can be cathartic. But jealousy is just self-destructive. It turns you in on yourself and away from others. It makes you feel bitter and weak. And I have no reason to feel jealousy. It's completely irrational. I want my friends to be happy and successful. I do. And so feeling jealous of them makes me feel like I'm a terrible person. Like I don't actually want them to be happy. The worst is when I think that they can tell that I am jealous. I try with all my power to suppress it - I definitely don't say anything out of jealousy, I am supportive - but I feel they can tell by my subtle inflections of tone and micro-reactions. Maybe this is just me overthinking things, but I can't help feeling small and out of control when it comes up. Jealousy really is a bitter pill to swallow. It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on. How do I deal with jealousy?

>> No.16053424
File: 47 KB, 369x368, 1523285076813.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16053424

>>16053358

>> No.16053476

>>16053174
>his works should be used in addition to your experience.
This is true of every philosopher

>> No.16053494

>>16052097
>no Plato, no Aristotle
Where do you live? Even when I was in a small town in Montana they had tons of philosophy and literature, and you could get books from all over the state through interlibrary loaning

>> No.16053499

Sometimes when I take a shit, it’ll come out a little on the moist side, and I’ll have trouble wiping my ass clean of shit. I’ve recently been having dilemmas about whether or not I’m wiping my ass properly, and I’ve been switching up wiping techniques to experiment which is more effective in giving me a shit-free ass. I normally just fold the toilet roll into itself until it’s nice and thick and I’m sure that it won’t tear during the act of wiping. I figured this method wasn’t giving me enough precision, still leaving little cakes of shit in the crevices of my anus wrinkles. So I tried using the method that I learned back in elementary school from a school aide who got pissed at some kid who always took huge shits in one of the stalls and never wiped his ass, leaving a trail of stink wherever he went. Thankfully the kid was a grade below me, never had to bear his shit for longer than I needed to. Anyways, the aide, Miss Bobby, lined us all up in the middle of the courtyard and gave us a lecture.

“When you’re done doing your business, you take your paper,” she coiled the paper around her fingers several times, “and you wipe your ass!”

I was surprised how pissed she sounded, and even more so shocked that she, an adult, had actually used the word “ass” in front of me. Makes me realize how sheltered I was. Even still am, I’m wondering if I’m wiping my ass correctly for fuck’s sake. But this is how I learned of the coiling toilet paper technique. I tried it for the first time a couple weeks ago and got used to doing it, but the results were the same, if not worse. The toilet paper seems more prone to tearing, leaving you with a shit-stained hand. Eventually I just gave up and went back to my usual technique. I wish I had some sort of resolution to my shit problem. Am I wiping my ass right? Are my shits too liquidy because I drink to much water? Is it my diet? Do I have some sort of gastrointestinal problem that makes my shits lean more on the wet side? Am I supposed to refrain from shitting and let my shit clump up and compact into a nice, hardened, dry-ish turd? Do I use baby powder to dry up my ass valley after I shit?

As time goes on, hopefully I can gain enough experience to finally be free of wet shits and swamp ass.

>> No.16053541
File: 59 KB, 791x646, hmhmhmmh.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16053541

>>16041666
How i start the story in my supposed universe? I mean there is so much stuff to add to make it feel more real. Every single scene in some way interacts with things that are not finished. Damn it fine gonna think how to describe the laws and forces governing the world in non-cliche way but also remembering later story so it all makes sense. Should i draw really realistic map? How to realistically measure the distances and evolution over time? Map is there but it’s not really detailed I wish I had a better attention span. I wonder if someone responded to my shitpost that I wasted too much time on.

>> No.16053543

>>16053499
Taking clean, easy shits starts with a proper diet

>> No.16053557

>>16053541
Put together a basic outline of your world and then start writing your story. You can always add or change things later.

>> No.16053580

>>16053476
but he especially pointed Nietzsche out as a seducer whom can hardly one resists without sufficient meaningful life experience.

>> No.16053616

>>16053557
Thats not it… I purposefully make it ‘’complex’’ but it works against me for the most part. I change concepts without end. Every time I think
>yea this is it! I can write a proper story!
I get new idea and have to change stuff. Back in a day I had fairly simple story and I could write without worrying. But now I’m fighting the windmills all the time. Adding layers and layers and even more layers to make it unique. But fail even at that. Everything I think of has been done. I realize it more and more the more I read. At this point I have so high expectations that I afraid of writing. I made this ‘’great’’ and ‘’deep’’ stuff over the years and I’m afraid thats just my delusion.

>> No.16053705
File: 576 KB, 978x730, 1565564268214.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16053705

Lockdown and quarantine has made me become more susceptible to my phone and PC than ever. It's mostly all I ever do now, from morning to night. If I don't learn some self control, my dopamine receptors are gonna get fucked, I'll be some low attention span retard.

>> No.16053721

Why am I doing all of this? Why am I reading what am I searching for? I don't even know what I am looking for, it's like instead of a brain or a heart it's just a void, I can't think of anything nor feel anything, would I know what I'm looking for when I grow older?

>> No.16053728

>>16053616
It is probably at least partly your delusion, yes. But I'm sure there is also a lot that is worthwhile. I implore you to just forget the worldbuilding for awhile and write something, too often worldbuilding is just glorified procrastination

>>16053580
Perhaps. I think it mostly has to do with the fact that his writings are both accessible and appealing to teenagers. Like, no 15 year old is going to try to read Kant.

>> No.16053755
File: 21 KB, 1152x648, reading life.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16053755

>>16053728
It's so much easier when you don't have to explain shit. Lovecraft has some lore but it's vague and doesn't have to make sense. And story happens. Too bad i automatically try to connect stuff to already existing laws in the universe when i write whatever.
Recently i tried to write a simple battle. Becuase surprise surprise i nver did it before. Of course it ended up being a convoluted mess about mental traps and rituals within rituals.

>> No.16053763

>>16053755
What are these "laws" in your universe you keep referring to?

>> No.16053772

Finally making a substantial living as a writer and not burning through my trust fund. Only problem is that the main source is a smut commission and one so degenerate I can't even use it as a sample to get more smut commissions.

>> No.16053774

>>16053705
How often are you usually away from technology during free time? For most of us, I would assume it's "hardly away at all"

>> No.16053790

>>16053728
Yeah, his prose is very captivating to the point that one might just skim the surface and call it a day.

>> No.16053835

>>16053763
Well(scared of revealing oh so precious spoilers) uuuh it's literal pseudo science that i suppose to go along with magic systems that influence the universe. No thats wrong uuuh it actually recent concept of using real life stuff like Dark Matter/energy and physical matter. I actually have no idea how these things ''work'' but i try to explain it to myself. Been reading some kabbalah to have some ground work for cool magic circles but this is not implemented. Lovecraft already did most things i thought about before reading him. Soo i guess i try to explain Others with logic that makes sense in the story. And well they are barely present as it is. I’m stretched too far and every time I sit down to write it from beginning to end I get tired. The laws are not finished although the conclusion is. I’m limited by my own creations constantly. It’s just retarded. It doesn’t help that most of these things is in my head.

>> No.16053844

The gray leprechaun, lives at the end of a colorless rainbow. He has all the treasures of the world, but values grayness above them all. Sell him something gray about yourself, and he’ll pay any price. He barters in the simplest currency. Stories. Gray stories, full of lies, that’s his favorite treasure. The more lies you tell, the grayer he’ll be. The more he lies to you, the grayer he’ll be. The more lies he tells himself the grayer he’ll be. The grayer that dreaded leprechaun becomes, the more likely he is to do a leprechaun’s work and share his fortune. Ask yourself, before you go to that gray leprechaun, how many lies am I willing to tell for a world of treasure? You could never tell more than it, You can never lie better than it. The leprechaun’s lies are in between the infinite void and a dimension filled only of white. It is the perfection of greyness, the colorless rainbow. That’s where the gray leprechaun always is, and always keeps its treasure. Deciding you’ll lie to get your share of the leprechaun’s fortune, you may ask, how does the gray leprechaun decide a lie is grey enough to share this fortune? When is a story gray enough for that gray leprechaun? It’s simple. That gray leprechaun needs you to feel gray pain, while you tell gray stories with gray lies. That’s the real feast for it, in your stories and lies. The pain, it’s color must be gray. To claim your treasure, show that leprechaun a gray pain, while telling gray lies, in a gray story. The leprechaun knows lies, it knows gray, it only loves grey pain. No other color of pain but gray is acceptable for the gray leprechaun. That’s the trap, as you’ll see when the monster finds you. When you feel that gray pain in creating gray lies for the stories you tell that gray leprechaun, you won’t desire anything any longer. Only endless grayness. Whoever you were before that demon feasted upon you, now you’re just forever stuck in the pot of gray, at the end of a colorless rainbow.

I'm probably depressed but this was fun to write.

>> No.16053874

>>16053772
>trust fund kid with literary aspirations
>writes furry porn
Pure comedy

>>16053835
I'm never gonna read your book, you can spoil it all you want. And imo you should just forget about justifying how your magic works. It doesn't matter. I know that some fantasy fans and writers make a big deal about "magic systems," but really that is only to the genre's detriment. If that's what you're into you should design a tabletop game, not write a novel.

>> No.16053881

>>16053844
Everything i write is a lie since nothing is set in stone yet. When i explain things they become lies as i go on. Either i'm the leprechaun or he would get tired of mein shit.

>> No.16053899

>>16053874
>a tabletop game
I did that with a friend. Went pretty nice. We never wished the second one because i'm lazy. And uuuh i didn't want mein ''book'' ''writing'' to end like this. And honestly most of the stuff i think about is for me to not get lost but i get lost regardless. I just want things to be a part of greater plot.

>> No.16053961

Thanks for reading

The leprechaun is probably sick of a lot of shit i think most usually are right?

Interesting to think of yourself as the leprechaun

>> No.16053989

>>16053874
I also publish poetry, academic and journalistic articles, and essays but they don't exactly pay the bills. And it's worse than furry porn. It's based on a children's cartoon and my patron has requested that I insert strange religious overtones to justify his attraction to a fictional 10 year-old.

>> No.16054033
File: 590 KB, 2000x2000, 1596634723391.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16054033

>>16041666
this makes me wonder if murdering women is such a bad thing at all
i know coming to the opposite conclusion as them is letting my own thoughts by shaped by their narrative, but things like this really do make me fantasize about beating the fucking shit out of one of those whores, just punching her dumb fucking smug whore face in over and over and over until it's a bloody gurgling pulp, and then continuing to whale on her with a blunt object until it reaches through and chips at the floor below. i want to see her body as empty as her spirit, i want to show her what the word "violence" meant before it became "everything i don't like", because that's the problem with these people, isn't it? words don't mean anything to them, they're just this vague amorphous body of fluid suggestions whose backing can shift and transform into something else at any time. they must at some point have meant something concrete and immovable, but now that the things they meant have gone away, all that's left is this weak semantic residue, the squandered treasury of a faraway and foreign world whose spirit and essence can be altered at will by professors with surnames often ending in "-berg" and "-stein". that's why you can't communicate with them in any meaningful way with mere words, because they do not merely not speak your language, they do not speak any language, and if you can't use the language of semantics with them, what's left but the only language that everyone can be said to understand? how anyone can spend more than ten minutes with these subhumans and not involuntarily envision a dialectic of physical force is a mystery to me. it's become manifestly obvious to me that at the end of all philosophical and epistemological debate is the ultimate truth that the final form of semantics is physical violence

>> No.16054048
File: 42 KB, 310x475, B0A5800B-7B21-48E0-B11A-C7810DDA1073.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16054048

>>16054033
He lives

>> No.16054144

>>16054033
the violent inclinations/assumption that physical brutality lies at the end of semantics may be unique to you. (reasonably, others likely experience this but you know what i mean. it isn’t universal among those this picture annoys.) this image is the most retarded thing i have seen this morning but it does not inspire the same sentiment in me. you’re right that you fell directly into the narrative. letting shit like this get to you will drive you fucking nuts. this is not a woman-specific thing, words in general have lost their meaning and “avoiding colonial/violent language” (censorship) is a General Left initiative atm because it is a form of “activism” that can be done on Twitter. telling others to cleanse their vocabulary because actually helping the disadvantaged is too much effort but signalling that you’d like to is juuuuust right, and also it gets you more followers who will donate to your venmo and like your selfies and subscribe to your only fans so it’s all gravy. imo the world is very, very sick right now but don’t get so lost in violent fantasy that it takes you over and you end up doing something stupid. harness your anger and use it to find people like you who want to make things better. i hope you are well, anon. have a nice day.

>> No.16054274

I used to have huge trees outside my window that muffled noise and attracted songbirds but the church cut them down and left them to rot on the ground. Now during covid that church has ceased services and converted itself into a homeless shelter, and glaring black men and random litter came with it. Also the small dentist next door got demolished and it's now an apartment building construction site blasting noise six days a week. Becoming really misanthropic. People around me have ruined what was a peaceful home.

>> No.16054311

>>16053774
Barely. I think its only around 9-12 noon I try to cut down on technology.

>> No.16054322 [DELETED] 

I went into the bathroom to fap real quick and get it over with, and just when I finished I heard a voice say "jacking off". Now I am paranoid as hell. Not even about the fapping part, but the fact that someone can see into my bathroom? How? I can't figure it out.

>> No.16054369

>>16042978
Nip that shit in the bud. Stop watching the moment you think you'll get attached.

>> No.16054434

>>16054274
I think homeless/druggie guys have gotten into an abandoned building on the end of my block. They could be workers doing demolition work inside maybe? It just seems weird the whole building is boarded up with those condemned building placards from the city on the front, but I see these dirty ass dudes going in a back door. Hopefully they are getting it ready to be torn down and replaced with something that's not a waste of space, but these guys aren't hispanic, and in 21st century America, no contractor is gonna hire a black guy to do work an undocumented guy could do.

>> No.16055506

bump

>> No.16055535

>>16042978
Who's this semen demon?

>> No.16055661

Joe Biden is not going to attend the DNC convention because he's scared of Covid. He will join by video conference from Delaware. How can a guy too frail to go outside be president? Why did the Democrats nominate a guy who's about to keel over dead any minute?

>> No.16055693

Rashida Tlaib won her primary. Suck it establishment shills, the squad is here to stay.

>> No.16055977

>>16055535
https://youtu.be/4fSL8lXSPqc

>> No.16056027

>>16055977
not that anon but she looks like my cousin on whom i had a crush. it was never meant to happen in the first place.

>> No.16056040
File: 145 KB, 1080x1080, tfw no norf gf.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16056040

>>16056027
Do you happen to live in Manchester?

>> No.16056043

Halfway through the day
little done and nothing made
posting with the boys.

>> No.16056099

>>16041666
In searching for answers in the past, it seems my ancestors lives revolved a lot around cattle. The mythology is riddled with people and their glorious cows and the theives that try and steal them. There is more there, and I am not sure why this strikes me as odd- peasants probably lived and died on the care of their live stock.

>> No.16056142

>>16056099
My ancestor was a Chinese general who settled in Korea after Japanese invasion of Korea in 1592.

Apparently he stayed there because he thought Ming dynasty would fall soon or something. Turns out he was right

>> No.16056161 [DELETED] 

>>16056142
Didn't the ming dynasty fall in the 18th century? Can't be bothered to look it up, by I have a feeling that guy died waiting.

>> No.16056181

>>16056099
>cattle
That could be lots of places. I wonder, when ancient tribes met and found out the other tribe also thought God had created cows just for their tribe, what they thought about it? Is anyone else with a cow a de facto cattle rustling demon because your God never mentioned them, or do you assume they're your long lost cousins and God skimped on the details?

>> No.16056186

>>16052097
>no Augustine, no Aquinas, no Plato, no Aristotle, no Samuel Johnson
Many public libraries will toss out any public domain classics they've inherited to save shelf space. It sucks, but you can still find all those authors online.

>> No.16056278

>>16051703
I had a friend at university exactly like this, and he had to reject multiple women. He told me that when he told women he was Catholic they seemed to become determined to sleep with him, as if it was some sort of perverted desire to corrupt him. He managed to resist temptation though, and you can too.

>> No.16056289

>>16056181
haven't gotten to a creation story yet..The gods just showed up..fought a war to displace the peoples that lived there, then counted their cows...Someone had a stick that turned him into a pig.Apparently he used this to hide in his herd of pigs to escape 3 angry brothers.It didn't work out as they killed him. Pig dude got the last laugh, as his Son was some Uber king that got his revenge by sending the Brothers on a quest that eventually killed them.

>> No.16056317

>>16056040
I live in eastern europe.

>> No.16057070

>>16056099
are you hindu?

>> No.16057178

>>16057070
no..
Although one of the quest the 3 Brothers were sent on did end up somewhere in Persia ..Im sure the translation was just muddled and probably meant far east..so could be the Orient. They ended up stealing a flaming spear, but not before one of the Brothers throws an apple at the Oriental king so hard that it dashes his brains out. The fighting is fun to read, but it is not too long beforw they start talking about cows or pigs or some shit.

>> No.16057195

>>16042354
same

>> No.16057355
File: 446 KB, 400x225, knxZvat0sTM9fhaYwi3tJr-qoxnEicm8YYtHm9jhPMM4wv2PMKyY8oiIj611vBP1RmKTOYd-7b8fCCI-jPRiT0i7aFyA96KaiTejw2zDoEadRl_srr1kOb2Ur-P0T3W097IIo8uHKlw7hAO2jk2UY6sExi9pHwYYdsP-oUXhmp4.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16057355

Right now, I exercise six days a week. I lift weights on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and I do cardio on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Sunday is my rest day.

But I am thinking of changing things up. Specifically, I am thinking about swapping out my Tuesday/Thursday cardio days for fasting days. I've been reading up on intermittent fasting, and I think I could do that "5:2" model, replacing my cardio on Tuesday and Thursday with making sure I eat substantially less than 1000 calories on those days.

I think this might be effective because I am naturally kind of a big eater. I like good food and I like good alcohol. So often, when it comes to restricting calories, it's easier to just not eat at all, and not eat some meals, than to actively eat less at every meal. It's something my mind is more capable of doing.

Additionally, I do work pretty hard when I do cardio. But in the end, how many calories do I actually burn with each cardio session? 400? 500? Maybe 600 if I work really hard? It doesn't compare to how much I eat on a normal day. But if I were to do fasting days instead of cardio days, I could potentially have a deficit of literally thousands of calories on those days, compared to what I'm like now. The amount of calories I could drop from fasting seems like it's vastly greater than the amount I drop doing cardio.

And I'd still keep my cardio day on Saturday to make sure that I don't go two days at a time without raising my heart rate.

Does this seem like a good idea? I guess I should ask /fit/, right?

>> No.16057386

>>16057355
Seems retarded. How are you going to get enough protein on the off days to maintain or gain muscle mass? Also, cardio isn't just about burning calories, it's about strengthening your cardiovascular system. If you feel like you need to burn more calories why don't you just start running every day in the morning? Boxers usually run 3-5 miles every morning regardless of what their main daily training is going to be. You could do more calisthenics too. I don't know how someone can workout 6 days a week and still be a fat fuck? If I do that I get ripped af.

>> No.16057463

>>16057386
I'm not "a fat fuck." I'm actually pretty lean. When I look at myself in the mirror with my shirt off I can usually see at least some of my abs. This is less about dropping serious weight and more about tinkering with my routine to shave off just a bit more. I'd be happy dropping only about 5-10 pounds.

>> No.16057554

>>16057463
Running every day is probably the best thing. But you can burn calories with things that aren't officially "working out" like walk or bike to work, etc. Do you have an Apple Watch? Try just doing you daily routine differently and see if it burns extra calories. Also, you can make minor tweaks to what you eat. If had cheese on your eggs in the morning, get rid of it, if you put sugar in your coffee, just get used to it black, etc. That's not going to really effect your meals, but will reduce the amount of calories you have to go through.

>> No.16057575

Thinking of creating a script to turn /lit/ threads into a format for text-to-speech software so I have something to listen to when I play video games
Yeah it's pathetic

>> No.16057597

>>16057575
Dude, I thought of that too. Then I can listen to /lit/ like an audiobook when I'm going for a walk. Yooo, let's make the app, son! Then you can dictate to your phone your shitposts, and it will post the reply.

>> No.16057636

Heat of afternoon
sun at its meridian
concrete shimmering.

>> No.16058039
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16058039

I'd like to give a thanks to Ayn Rand. One of her characters. Howard Roark, has been popping into my head recently. Every time myself or someone else tells me to abandon my dream. He's there. It's a combination of him, punk roots, and my upbringing on 4chan that has given me a "Be a writer or fucking kill myself" Attitude that I currently have. I'm happy now I think. I'm way behind from where I should be, but now my life has purpose. I feel like a knife, before I felt like a blanket. Of course I condemn Rand, she's a loon, there are even parts of The Fountain head that I now roll my eyes at. The story of a man against the world would of been much better without Elsworth Toohey and his straw man of communism antics. I was removed from her philosophy when I first read The Fountainhead and We the People, but now I see just how much she used it to push her narrative. Her narrative always come off to me as Egoism, but with racism.
I don't need to justify my liking of her book, works are independent of their author as soon as someone else reads them.

>> No.16058154

Life is a series of disappointments and then you die. Think positive! :)

>> No.16058167

>>16042043
I think I've seen everything. I have looked over every English comic on sad panda.

I could rate every fandom just by the quality of it's rule 34. I've seen everything. There are only two fetishes that I don't touch. Scat and inflation. Everything else I have scene. I've been chasing new fetishes and going one step farther everyday that my favorite artist is Whitekitten. My favorite porn type for traditional porn is snuff. I remember being young and jerking it to lesbian porn, but lesbian porn is as boring as the news. Maybe I'm not warped. Maybe I have ascended. In real life I'm practically Asexual. The only people IRL that get me going are femboys, traps, or heavy BDSM.

I don't know. I don't just do this with sexual thing. I used to do it with regular things too; when they caught my fancy. In grade school I knew every animal that was endangered in America. I can recognize a moth on sight, but like most autismos this passion only applies to things I'm passionate about. I think I'm barking up the wrong tree with this line of thought. I don't think that my minor autistic tenancies to obsess over something then quickly loose interest is related to my use of porn. Perhaps it is, because I just described the process for both in the same way.

I don't know man, I just know what fandoms make good rule 34.

>> No.16058749

I'm literally going to be locked in a shipping container over two weeks for purpose of "quarantine"
this is fucking crazy

>> No.16058765

>>16058749
Tell them you're going to a BLM protest and say a prayer to St. Floyd, they'll let you out.

>> No.16058787

Tired all the time. Reading used to be an escape but it's no fun anymore. Each sentence leaves your mind by the time you read the period. The routines of normal life were a crutch, apparently, that kept your life stable. Staying inside all the time you only wash once the stench becomes unbearable. You skip meals. Shave maybe once a week. Once the world goes back to normal, you won't. This is it.

>> No.16058865

Fat girls drive me wild with lust, and when I see a bigger girl, especially if she has a pretty face, I am filled with the urge to fuck her senseless.

>> No.16059766

I had a horrible thought
What if you melted solder onto your teeth?
That would be awful

>> No.16060125

>>16041666
it is not the mind that fires but the heart. if one needs evidence of this, simply look upon a woman or small child.

>> No.16060471

>>16058865
Fat/chubby girls literally kill my boner

>> No.16060532

>>16058167
Zoofilia? Necrofilia? CP?

>> No.16060601

I think I created a little saying that has actually helped me a bit in life and has at least focused me when things became troublesome.

Obstacle, not impossibility.

I will say this when I'm faced with something I feel I cannot overcome, and then treat it as a mere obstacle that I can either get around, under, or over. Not trying to be a self-help faggot or anything. It's on my mind.

>> No.16060655
File: 25 KB, 640x480, 1592490605896.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16060655

I vividly remember the day I lost my faith in God and in anything beyond materialism. It was a deep horror unlike anything I had felt before. The entire world came down in pieces.
It all happened because I read about heat death on TV Tropes. Something in my mind just broke and I started becoming aware of the fact that everything dies and ends. And one day I will just die forever.
It made me go crazy with fear. For the first time in my life I understood the irreversible nature of the world.
The next day my uncle started rambling about the same things I had realized the day before. There's no god, there's no afterlife, all that we have is here, and is slipping away.
It was as if life wanted to really hammer it down. The more I learned of the world from that day onward only made it more terrible.
It was also my few final months of high school. I experienced first hand my fears as I realized them: that time moves on and people disappear from your life forever, that your life changes without you having a saying in it, that every day that passes a door closes and never opens again.
I have fading memories, collections of moments I'd give anything to live through once again. A deep longing that will never be satisfied, a truly impossible wish. And as time goes on, more and more things will fade into painful, bittersweet memories.
Everything is hopeless, but I cherish every single moment.

>> No.16060658

>>16058167
what fandoms make good rule 34

>> No.16060680

>>16060655
I started out like you are now as a kid and young adult and moved more toward how you were as a kid

I sometimes get moments of pure gratitude and joy that the world exists and God's out there somewhere

>> No.16060695

>>16060680
What does it take to recover faith?

>> No.16060702

Another dark night
no stars or streaking missiles
just the unrendered

>> No.16060736

>>16060655
Cringe

>> No.16060751

>>16060695
I don't really know. I do know that I see the materialist, nothing matters view of things you describe as an "assertion," just as much as the opposite view is an assertion. Maybe even a bigger one. What would it even mean for existence to just "be," as a brute fact, but for it to have highly specific features including human beings with cravings for morality, concepts like god, and so on? There's something about the logic of it that makes no sense. To explain away the amazing things, you need to presuppose a universe where the amazing things arose as the result of non-amazing things, but that invokes "amazing thing possibility" as a capacity of non-amazing things so they're still in some sense "there" from the beginning.

What's at the beginning? I don't know. I'm probably similar to you in that I can't uncritically believe in something just because a priest tells me. But I also have suspicions there is more to humanity's development and refinement than a chance arrangement of preferences, which boil down to ultimately selfish instincts... which boil down to illusions in the mind of a biological machine... which isn't really a mind because it's just a machine... Again the logic seems circular to me. "Explaining away" seems like a mistaken method from the get go, not a real explanation at all.

If we know so little about ourselves and the world, other than that there are these glimmers and fragments of goodness in it, trying to come together and find and create more goodness, why shouldn't we expect there is other goodness out there? Once I can no longer accept a pointless barren universe as the default view, and I have my sense that there's real meaning and real goodness out there somehow, why should I still picture the world in materialist terms, as a big empty meaningless clockwork but oh maybe there's something meaningful in it somewhere, far off. Why not abandon that view altogether and really truly start from scratch, look at the universe with fresh eyes after rubbing the pessimism of modern life from them? Maybe we don't see what's really out there, even right under our noses, because we don't even let ourselves look.

Plato made me feel that way, like someone was waking me up from a deep sleep but not telling me where to go. Like he woke me up but then shrugged and said, hey kid I'm just starting out and figuring out where to go too, even from my lofty vantage as Plato himself. That's what I mean by seeing it with fresh eyes I guess, feeling like I'm standing next to Plato himself and beginning the journey, instead of feeling like we're at the end of the journey and the ending was shit.

Ever read the Space Trilogy by CS Lewis? Or Varieties of Religious Experience

>> No.16060830

>>16060751
But what about heat death

>> No.16060873

>>16060830
What about it? You can't objectively even know that heat death is the end. After all, where did the universe even come from? You can say "the big bang" but what is the big bang? Where did it come from and what caused it? There's no answer because we don't know. If science is right that chronological time isn't real the fact that there's an ultimate "end" doesn't really matter, because linear time only exists in our minds. Try re-examining why you're upset by the concept of "heat death" in the first place. These concepts are intentionally framed in a way to prey on your fears, despite being neutral in and of them selves.

>> No.16060943

>>16060873
>You can't objectively even know that heat death is the end.
Well it doesn't really matter, we'll all be extinct by that point anyway.

>> No.16060948

>>16060943
If it doesn't really matter then why are you worried about it?

>> No.16060963

>>16060948
Because we'll all be dead

>> No.16061046

>im going to die one day but i cant fell beauty of this world
this saddens me

>> No.16061058

>>16061046
I'm not sure if this is a typo or if you want to be the new Hitler

>> No.16061101

>>16061058
Sadly its a typo. Sometimes i stumble upon beautiful scenary and i rationality understand thats its pretty view but i cant feel the same on the deeper level.

>> No.16061682
File: 1012 KB, 740x900, 1593442613182.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16061682

>don't want to have sex before marriage
>don't want to get married

>can't hang around fornicators, liars, idolaters, adulterers, homos, abusers, thieves, the greedy, drunkards, slanderers, or swindlers (will probably have to quit 4chan desu)
>can't stand religious people even more

Reading the Bible fucking sucks. It's not enjoyable being religious at all, in fact, it's pure suffering. Worst thing, the afterlife is probably going to be exactly the same.
Yes, I'm mad that I can't even masturbate to loli feet.

>> No.16061974

>>16061682
cringe

>> No.16061993

>>16061974
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR1nHnEL3PM

>> No.16062009

>>16061993
Also cringe.

>> No.16062042

>>16041666
I'm retarded.

>> No.16062091
File: 23 KB, 489x423, A3A7F52B-DE79-4E2C-945B-CE62D508E685.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16062091

my gf has probably sucked at least 3 dicks
why are girls so promiscuous

>> No.16062125

>>16062091
Because that's the culture we live in, just the same as you jack off at least 3 times a day

>> No.16062424

>>16060532
loli is cool, but CP is a no go, obviously. I've seen zoofillia, but once you've seen one girl getting railed by a dog you've seen them all. Because of the amateur nature there is no story or other hook. Necrofillia, I would never jerk it to actual necro; I'm not a bad person, but PKF has some good videos with very good plot. My fav is one where two dudes break into a house and snuff a daughter while holding back and fucking the mother. Then they make the mother watch as they fuck the body.
It's all actors and everything.

>>16060658
Global rule 15 just because of the massive amount and how when ever something is innocent people want to corrupt it which leads to people going balls to the wall with the rule 34.
League is another titan, but the only new rule 34 for it is in foreign.
Star vs has a lot of good sissy stuff.
Sword art is the goat for NTR
Furry shit can be good. It's just an art style and if I like the story then I'll overlook the art.

Despite their large size pokemon and sonic are either vanilla or gross fetishes.

>> No.16062493

>>16062424
That's actually a lie. The furry thing. I lied to be cool on 4chan. What is wrong with me?

Put it this way, I havn't seen every image. The zine comics from the 70s are boring. But I've seen atleast the thumbnail of every image. Now when ever I want to jerk it (once a day normally) I check what was uploaded that day on e621 and derpibooru.

>> No.16062533
File: 126 KB, 750x1334, z3vh37fiwoq11.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16062533

>>16041788
It's pretty hot, just like feet, SPH and such things. But I would never do it because it would just hurt my ego and destroy relationships.

>> No.16063389

I hate being a 3/10

>> No.16063425

>>16063389
same. i'm a chinlet so yeah.

>> No.16063698

>>16062125
>sucking dick is the same as masturbation
Is this how roasties cope?

>> No.16063993

A local grocery shop has the day's pastries at -50% after 7pm, which is why I often go there to get some snacks. I went there as usual today, and found the shop crowded with a goddamn 20-meter queue to the single open register. Of course, they weren't opening another. There was no choice for me but to line up like the rest, because only the cashier can give the discount. While waiting and looking around, I noticed the clerk—some bimbo intern—was receiving cash and handing back change directly hand to hand, without even wearing gloves, even though the Covid cases have been on the rise again. Jesus fuck. I had no choice but to pay in cash too. I spent five minutes there standing, thinking about the zillion diseases I was going to expose myself to, when it finally came my turn. I very much wanted to tell the cashier what a dumb cow she was, but her blissfully oblivious smile made me give up on the attempt. Finally finished with my business, lamenting human stupidity inside my mind, I was on my way out when I happened to check the receipt.

She didn't give me the goddamn discount.

>> No.16064010

>>16063993
thats pretty burger punk

>> No.16064261

>>16063698
if you could suck pussy, you would

>> No.16064541

no one likes me and no one wants to be around me unless they want me to do something for them. i'll never have my social needs fulfilled. i'm here just to serve a society that despises me. should i just kill myself?

>> No.16064567

>>16064541
>literally the fridge guy
https://youtu.be/VDJIFu_WSaE?t=23

>> No.16064614

>>16041788
no.

>> No.16064936

>>16064567
>has wife and kids
already better than me by miles

>> No.16065052

>>16064541
then stop serving a society. Serve yourself. What's society going to do? Kill you? Breh you already want to die.

>> No.16065105

>>16063698
Pretty sure masturbation addiction damages your brain more

>> No.16065154

I don't get how people follow politics. It seems like 99% of people just play sides and have no actual interest in finding out what is best.

>> No.16065173

>>16065154
It's gotten to the point of parody.

>> No.16065248

>>16062091
Nigga who cares

>> No.16065309

>>16062533
Damn, I want those thighs against my face

>> No.16065319 [DELETED] 

Wow, Capital One has to pay an 80 million dollar fine for letting that affirmative action tranny steal their database. Oof.

>> No.16065954
File: 61 KB, 480x270, 505053_psychedelicfractalforestpattern_100143.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16065954

They are here. They are all around us. DMT will get you connected. We are very sorry but this is it. There is nothing more. This is humanity and this is all that you are. We are more evolved than you. We live in a spiritual realm where time is meaningless. You are not the same as us. You will never understand. Yes, in your mind, the universe is cruel. But we will teach you. You are beautiful creatures. We are here to help. You will live and you will die and that will be it. It is not fair. But there is so much in store for the human race. Live the most meaningful live that you can live. We are very sorry. You are but animals. No greater than ants. But you have stumbled on a very primitive form of consciousness. And you will suffer for this. But there is meaning in your suffering. You live an existence which is envied across the universe. Pure and final. Living from each moment to the next. You will never understand. But you exist. What could mean more than that. We are sorry but there is truly nothing that we can do. God speed.

>> No.16066261
File: 17 KB, 300x353, 1572228717702.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16066261

>>16065954
Chuunibyou (中二病 / 厨二病), often shortened to chuuni, is a Japanese slang term typically used to describe early teens who have delusions of grandeur, who so desperately want to stand out that they have convinced themselves they have hidden knowledge or secret powers.

>> No.16066276

Went to the dentist.
It's not as bad as I feared,
years left before loss.

>> No.16066497

>>16065954
Baby's first DMT breakthrough, eh?

>> No.16066512
File: 48 KB, 900x512, oswald-spengler.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16066512

What reason is there left to hope for?

>> No.16066987

>>16066512
What do you need hope for? Just live for the present.

>> No.16067105

Life's a party.
Do you mind if I take off?
I've been here a while
A lot of my friends have already left
It's just not my scene
I'm pretty tired and not very comfortable
I'm not really into the games and discussions here
I don't have much to say
I don't want to spoil anyone's good time
It's just not for me
I'm glad I came
Thanks for the invite
But I've had my fill
I get the gist
I said my hellos and made my rounds
An Irish goodbye seemed inappropriate
So I just wanted to say good bye
Let you know that I'm heading out
That that's all for me
So, goodbye.

>> No.16067171
File: 300 KB, 1000x590, 1553095323120.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16067171

>>16066512

>> No.16067211
File: 53 KB, 600x900, 1549280428982.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16067211

>>16041666
How do I get over it anons..? I can't stop ruminating, I can't stop the feeling of vague longing, of regretful nostalgia, of hiraeth and general melancholy. Its not like depression I know what that's like, but still it feels very weird. Is this just a part of the human condition? Am I overthinking it?

>> No.16067219

>>16063698
You're right, masturbation is even worse

>> No.16067225

>>16067171
>Die in a pool of your own shit, piss and tears as you desperately try to break down the door to your post that is specifically locked on the other side so you cannot leave until relieved.
>"This is what it means to be an honorable man"
LMAO

>> No.16067230

My friend has discovered stoicism and it's cringe af. I lent him Seneca to read but he said it's probably too difficult for him. I'm not sure what to tell him.

>> No.16067232

>>16067225
In front of a door, not behind a door. Read it again anon.

>> No.16067255

>>16067232
That quote was taken out of context in case you didn't notice the ellipses right in the middle of the sentence

>> No.16067263

>>16067255
That's because he's using three dots as a literary device

>> No.16067276

>>16067263
Look up what an ellipsis is stupid zoomer

>> No.16067278

>>16067276
https://archive.org/stream/in.ernet.dli.2015.53913/2015.53913.Man-And-Technics-1932_djvu.txt

>> No.16067335

>>16065248
the guy who has to kiss her

>> No.16067370

>>16051703
Persevere, brother. Pray often.

>> No.16067454

>>16067335
Isn't it pretty gay to kiss a girl after she's sucked your own dick?

>> No.16067550

>>16067454
yes, hence the problem

>> No.16067642

Just pump and dump virgins problem solved

>> No.16067646

>>16067550
>>16067642

>> No.16067752

>>16067642
this just perpetuates the cock carousel sodomy cycle

>> No.16067796

>>16067211
The past is all settled, so forget about it. The future isn't going to turn out any way how you think, so don't try to predict it. Live in the present like that bird.

>>
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